Chapter 2 - Pinkie

A sharp knock interrupted the quiet of Admiral Kizaru's office. With a laid-back grin, he glanced up as the door swung open. In walked Admiral Akainu, his stern friend, seldom seen at Marine Headquarters due to his active pursuit of pirates in the New World.

" Sakazuki ! Nice to see you're back ! Enter, enter ! Always time for my friend ! " Kizaru replied, his tone light and casual. He gestured for Akainu to enter, showcasing the easy camaraderie between the two admirals.

As Akainu stepped inside, he couldn't help but notice the changes in Kizaru's office. The usually towering admiral now stood at a mere two meters tall, and a peculiar contraption with mirrors adorned the windows. Maps and calculations scattered across the desk, hinting at a project in the works.

"Kizaru, got…what ? You're…smaller ?" Akainu asked, his expression a blend of curiosity and seriousness.

Kizaru grinned, a glint of mischief in his silver eyes. "Yeah, but size isn't everything, my magma buddy." He motioned towards the mirrors scattered around his office. "Check out my latest idea."

Akainu stepped closer, still skeptical. "What is it?"

Kizaru, ever the master of casual explanation, began, "So, I've been thinking about light – you know, the stuff I turn into." He paused for dramatic effect. "Turns out, it travels at a whopping 299,792,458 km/s. I could practically do seven world tours in less than a second. Well, on a "normal" earth, but I digress. Here, I could do a world your in barely two seconds ! "

Akainu raised an eyebrow. "That's impressive speed, but where's the catch? You never did long-distance travel with your devil fruit before ! "

Kizaru leaned in conspiratorially. "Ah, the catch! I can only go where I see, limited by my line of sight. But," he added with a sly grin, "I've cracked the code."

His magma companion looked intrigued. "How?"

"My line of sight can be stopped if I look from the ground to another part of the ground, but not if I look to the sky !" Kizaru, now fully in his element, explained, "I've been brushing up on my Pythagorean theorem skills. You know, a little math never hurt anyone. With these nifty contraptions," he gestured towards the mirrors, "I calculate my angle of departure, gets informations on the exact distance and voila! I travel diagonally into the sky ! I can shoot straight up, stop just above any island in the world, and bask in the sunlight in a matter of seconds. Then I just have to let myself fall when I stop, and I'll land on the island !"

With a nonchalant grin, Kizaru decided to showcase his newfound light-speed long distance system. He leaped onto one of the mirrors in his office, a brief shimmer enveloped him, and in an instant, he transformed into light, disappearing into the reflective surface.

Akainu blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Well, that's one way to make an exit," he muttered to himself, half-amused and half-impressed by the sheer audacity of his light-wielding friend.

The bustling port town of Loguetown buzzed with activity as Captain Hina, renowned for her justice-seeking pursuits, arrived to meet Captain Smoker. The two Marine officers were set to discuss the transfer of prisoners from Smoker's base to Enies Lobby, the notorious judicial island. During their break, they found themselves in a quaint café in Loguetown, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting through the air. As they settled into a corner booth, Hina's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm.

"You know, Smoker, I've been diving into some enlightening philosophical teachings lately," Hina declared with a mysterious smile.

Smoker raised an eyebrow, sipping his coffee. "Philosophy, huh? That's a surprise coming from you."

Hina reached into her uniform, much to Smoker's bemusement, and produced a small yellow book with a flourish. "Behold, the 'Small Yellow Book'! Compiled by none other than Vice-Admiral Dalmatian himself."

Smoker eyed the book, his skepticism apparent. "And what's so special about this little yellow thing?"

With a gleam in her eyes, Hina explained, "It contains the distilled wisdom of none other than Admiral Kizaru! It's like a guide to life, the universe, and everything else, according to Kizaru ! "

Smoker chuckled, taking a moment to absorb the absurdity of the situation. "Admiral Kizaru's teachings? Seriously?"

Undeterred, Hina eagerly flipped through the pages, revealing snippets of Kizaru's profound musings. "You wouldn't believe the depth of his thoughts on justice, morality, and the nature of existence. It's almost... poetic."

Smoker arched an eyebrow, skeptical but curious. "Poetic, huh?"

Hina nodded, her eyes sparkling with fangirl fervor. "Exactly! Now, I thought you might want to expand your horizons. Give it a read, Smoker. It might just change your perspective on everything."

Smoker leaned back, his amused smirk never fading. "You want me to read Kizaru's philosophical ramblings?"

Hina nodded enthusiastically, thrusting the small yellow book toward him. "Trust me, Smoker. It's a mind-bending experience. You won't regret it."

Smoker took the book, still chuckling. "Alright, Hina, I'll give it a shot. But if I find any 'light-speed justice' nonsense, you owe me another cup of coffee."

With a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, Captain Hina opened the "Small Yellow Book" and began flipping through its eclectic contents. She first landed on a page that seemed unexpectedly unrelated to philosophy—an intricate recipe for crepes.

"Hmm, Kizaru's philosophical culinary wisdom, I suppose," Hina chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "According to him, a well-made crepe represents the delicate balance of justice and sweetness."

Smoker couldn't help but smirk at the absurdity of the situation. "Crepes, seriously?"

But Hina, undeterred, continued her exploration. She turned a few more pages until she stumbled upon direct quotes. With an air of pseudo-profundity, she recited a few passages:

"The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name;
this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery."

Hina looked at Smoker's dumbfounded face. Unfazed, she persisted, determined to find something that might pique Smoker's interest. Suddenly, she exclaimed, "Aha! Strategy! The Vice-Admiral's notes on the Yellow Monkey teachings ! Now, that might catch your attention, Smoker!"

Smoker leaned in, genuinely intrigued this time. "Alright, hit me with it."

Hina read aloud. " According to Kizaru, the core of all conflicts lies in the artful dance of deception. The zenith of martial prowess, he asserts, lies not in direct confrontation but in the ability to subdue adversaries without the need for a full-blown battle—truly, the supreme art of war. Kizaru's teachings echo the philosophy that seizing opportunities amplifies their impact, and strategic timing is paramount. Beyond the battlefield, understanding oneself and the enemy becomes the key to securing victories, and the most exceptional triumphs occur without the chaos of combat. Kizaru, in his unique wisdom, emphasizes the necessity of discerning when to engage and when to withhold, both in warfare and the intricate dance of life. His insights extend to leadership, urging those in command to treat their comrades with the same care and respect that he extends to light particles. In the grand theater of strategy, Kizaru suggests that adapting to circumstances and turning disadvantages into advantages define a true mastermind. He notes that the crux of strategy lies not only in knowing what to do but, more importantly, in recognizing what to avoid. As Kizaru guides us through the corridors of his luminous wisdom, we discover that the essence of leadership lies in inspiring unwavering loyalty among followers. "The Art of War," as interpreted by Kizaru, unfolds as a comprehensive manual for strategic brilliance, seamlessly blending military acumen, leadership principles, and the radiant tapestry of life."

She had Smoker's attention. This was brilliant !

"Do…Do you have a second copy of the Little Yellow Book ?"

As Koby continued his valiant battle against the stubborn grime on Alvida's ship, the mischievous pirates couldn't resist making his task even more absurd. One particularly cheeky buccaneer decided to turn Koby's mop into a makeshift pirate flag and ordered him to proudly wave it while singing a pirate shanty. Koby, caught in the whirlwind of pirate tomfoolery, reluctantly raised the mop flag, belting out a tune that sounded more like a lament than a sea shanty.

Exhausted and eager to escape the floating circus, Koby was granted a brief reprieve when Alvida sent him ashore for pirate errands. Little did he know that his comedic odyssey was far from over.

As Koby navigated the bustling town with his absurd shopping list, he inadvertently collided with a man in a yellow suit and a marine coat. The man in the yellow suit steadied Koby with a perplexed yet entertained expression. His eyes widened at the mop flag still clutched in Koby's hand, and a slow, amused smile crept across his face. "Ahoy there, me hearty! Looks like you've got quite the maritime situation on your hands."

Between sobs and exaggerated sniffles, Koby explained his dire situation. "Oh, sir, it's terrible! I've been captured by these ruthless pirates! They've turned me into their mop-wielding jester, and now they're making me run these absurd errands. Please, you have to help me!"

Borsalino, the embodiment of nonchalance, surveyed the scene with a theatrical flourish. "Fear not, for I, the mop-buster, is here to save the day!". He snatched the mop from Koby's hand, twirling it like a seasoned pirate captain with a flair for the dramatic. The townsfolk, drawn to the spectacle, watched in a mix of confusion and amusement.

Borsalino, raised an eyebrow at Koby and asked, "Pinkie, if those pirates were giving you such a hard time, why didn't you just make a run for it?"

Koby, looking a bit defeated, mumbled, "I-I was scared, sir. I thought they might chase me down, and I didn't want to risk my life."

Borsalino, leaning against a nearby barrel, regarded Koby with a thoughtful gaze. "You're not the first to feel fear, and you won't be the last. But running from your fears won't make them disappear. Sometimes, facing them head-on is the only way to break free."

Koby, feeling a bit pathetic, sighed. "I always dreamed of becoming a Marine, you know? But look at me now, caught up in this ridiculous pirate mess."

Borsalino, with a wry smile, offered a philosophical nugget of wisdom. "Dreams aren't forged in calm seas, Koby. They're tested in the stormiest of waters. If becoming a Marine is your dream, then face these challenges as opportunities to grow stronger. It's not about avoiding trouble; it's about navigating through it."

Koby, inspired by Borsalino's words, straightened his posture. "You're right, sir. I shouldn't let a mop and a silly pirate crew stand in the way of my dreams. I'll face whatever comes my way."

Borsalino, patting Koby on the shoulder, chuckled. "That's the spirit, lad. Now, go face those pirates like the future Marine you aspire to be. And who knows, maybe one day you'll have a story to tell about the time you turned a pirate prank into a stepping stone toward greatness."

The Marine officer, true to his word, decided it was time to put an end to the mop-wielding pirate shenanigans. Koby, despite his earlier resolve, felt a wave of fear wash over him. The idea of facing Alvida and her crew with a Marine by his side was daunting.

As they approached the pirate ship, Alvida's furious voice could be heard from a distance. "Koby! What's the meaning of bringing a Marine to my ship?"

Koby, nervously looking at the Marine officer, stammered, "I-I didn't mean to, Captain Alvida. He just happened to be in town, and…"

Before he could finish his explanation, Alvida, in a fit of rage, stormed towards them. The Marine officer, unfazed by the pirate captain's intimidating presence, stood his ground with a calm demeanor.

"Kid, want to get out of this mess? I've got an idea. Insult her. Go on, give it a shot."

Koby, initially hesitant and shy, looked at Borsalino with a mix of confusion and disbelief. "Insult her? But isn't that—"

Borsalino interrupted, "Trust me, it's a classic move. Just let it rip."

Summoning his newfound courage, Koby squared his shoulders and turned towards Alvida. With Borsalino's encouragement ringing in his ears, he unleashed a barrage of insults with unexpected ferocity.

"You…You ugly whale ! I shit in the whore that gave birth to you ! You're so fat, not even Dora can explore you !"

"Wow. Even I was surprised. That's violent ! And I know a lot about insults", reacted Borsalino.

As Alvida, fueled by rage, lunged at Koby with a ferocious attack, Koby, overwhelmed with fear, instinctively closed his eyes, bracing for impact. Yet, when Borsalino calmly told him to open them, Koby did so with hesitation and awe.

To his amazement, in the brief moments he had shut his eyes, Borsalino had swiftly incapacitated all the pirates in Alvida's crew. The Marine officer stood amidst the fallen adversaries, his movements so fast they were , wide-eyed and filled with a newfound admiration, couldn't believe the scene before him. Borsalino, with an indifferent shrug, remarked, "Sometimes, a bit of speed is all you need."

Koby, still awestruck by Borsalino's incredible display of speed and skill, couldn't contain his excitement. In a burst of enthusiasm, he blurted out, "Sir, you're amazing! Please, recruit me as a Marine! I want to learn from you and become as incredible as you are!"

Borsalino, with his usual laid-back demeanor, looked at Koby with a hint of amusement. "Kid, joining the Marines is a big decision. It's not all flashy moves and takedowns. Are you sure you're up for it?"

Koby, nodding fervently, replied, "Absolutely, sir! I want to be part of something bigger, something extraordinary! Please, let me join the Marines under your command!"

Borsalino, after a moment of contemplation, chuckled. "Well, if you're that eager, maybe we could use someone with your spirit. Welcome to the Marines, Pinkie."

With a carefree grin, Kizaru nudged Koby, the sparkle in his eyes hinting at mischief.

"Hey there, Koby. Get ready for a wild ride because, at 0.001% of my speed, things are about to get, well, slightly brisk," Kizaru announced with a nonchalant twirl of his finger.

Before Koby could blink, Kizaru snatched him up, and like a shooting star, they rocketed into the sky. Yet, instead of a graceful ascent, their trajectory resembled a cosmic pinball game, with Koby hanging on like a mariner on a rollercoaster straight into the Grand Line.

As they loop-de-looped through the clouds, Koby's face became a Picasso of bewildered expressions. Clutching his glasses for dear life, he felt like a man caught in a fever dream with Admiral Kizaru playing intergalactic hopscotch.

Back in Shells Town, as Koby stumbled out of Kizaru's cosmic grip, he resembled a dizzy penguin waddling after a carnival ride. Kizaru, however, couldn't help but burst into laughter, slapping Koby on the back like an old friend.

"Woah, that was a light-speed joyride, Koby! How'd you like your express ticket to the moon? It's my new technique – the Solar Soar," Kizaru chuckled, thoroughly entertained by the absurdity of the situation.

Koby, still trying to find his sea legs, managed a bewildered nod, unsure if this was the standard marine initiation or a celestial comedy routine. As they sauntered away, Kizaru mused, "Let's grab some ice cream; I heard they've got the flavor of enlightenment today."

Borsalino searched for something in his pocket.

"Ah, before if forget here it is. Your training plan !"

Koby too the crumbled piece of paper. It was written "For Pinkie : here is your training regiment".

"But…I did not see you write it ! And we just met ! And it is written for…me ?"

Koby began reading aloud, his eyes widening with each line, "So, uh, 10 kilometers, 100 consecutive squats, 100 consecutive sit-ups, and 100 consecutive push-ups... every two hours?" He squinted at the paper as if expecting it to morph into a joke.

Kizaru, the personification of nonchalance, continued to savor his ice cream, offering a casual nod. "Yep, every two hours. Keeps the muscles warm, you know?"

Koby's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline. "But, Admiral, isn't that a bit... extreme? I mean, doesn't that go against all known laws of rest and recovery?"

Kizaru shrugged, the epitome of laid-back. "Well, time is relative, isn't it? And so are workout routines. Besides, I find it keeps things interesting. You never know when you might need to outrun a particularly speedy pirate."

As Admiral Kizaru and Pinkie - I mean, Koby - strolled through Shells Town, he spotted a marine recruit and decided it was the perfect moment for some spontaneous career advancement.

"Hey, you there!" Kizaru pointed at the recruit, who promptly snapped to attention, The recruit, recognizing the living legend, stood frozen, caught between saluting and fainting.

Still in shock, he managed a squeaky, "A…Admiral Kizaru ? I saw your pictures on Marine's mostly !

"Congratulations, you're in charge of Pinkie," Kizaru said, dramatically gesturing to Koby as if he were unveiling a future celebrity.

"But sir, I'm just a—"

Kizaru cut him off with a dismissive wave. "No time for modesty, my friend. You've just been promoted to Koby's personal motivator. Make sure he follows his training regimen, or else, no snacks for the whole marine base. Capisce?"

The recruit, eyes wide, nodded vigorously. Kizaru leaned in, lowering his voice conspiratorially, "And remember, if he starts slacking, just whisper, 'No training, no snackies.' Works like a charm."

Kizaru winked, "Life's too short for normal promotions. Now, Off-you-go, my makeshift coach, and remember, I'll be back in a few weeks for the blockbuster sequel."

With that, Kizaru vanished in a blink of light, leaving the recruit with a befuddled expression and Koby trying to suppress his giggles - as he had not seen how fearful of the marines the inhabitants of the town looked.