All aboard for the angst express. I'm almost apologetic for this one...almost.

Chapter 10, in which nightmares are my greatest plot device...

Regina sat on her sofa and quietly watched the flames dancing in the fireplace, though her mind was anything but silent. She'd been in this spot for an undetermined amount of time now, fantasizing ways that she could torture that stupid cricket. If it weren't for her promise to Henry, she'd likely have squashed that nuisance of a bug by now. She hated Archie for the thoughts he planted in her head during their last session and she desperately held onto directing her anger at him rather than unpacking it. Though much to her chagrin, reason started to overrule her anger and it was increasingly difficult to focus on hating the bug instead of addressing her feelings.

"I know you think there is no chance he won't go back to Snow, but if you are not honest with him he may not be aware that he has any other option."

Regina shut her so eyes tightly that it creased her brow as she tried to physically force Archie's words from her mind. It didn't work and she exhaled loudly when she reopened them and focused her gaze back on the fireplace with a frown. She couldn't wrap her head around where in the realms Hopper got the idea that Prince Charming could ever have feelings for the Evil Queen.

It made her question if he should be practicing in his field at all. Instilling this sense of false hope, encouraging such outrageous ideas - it was certainly a liability and she should look into having his medical license revoked. She created it, after all.

The thought made her hum a bitter laugh in her throat at what an idiot she'd been to go to him in the first place. What did he really know, anyways? She was the one who gave him the degree and the profession. A profession she wasn't even sure she believed was legitimate.

Who needed to talk to a therapist in order to determine how they felt about something? The weak minded, that's who. She could practically hear Cora speak the words down her ear while her gut reminded her of just how astute Archie's observations had been. He'd pointed out so many details of her past, her upbringing included, that she'd never taken a moment to consider as a factor in her self destruction. She'd spent her life with tunnel vision, channeling all of her energy into blaming a sole person for her pain.

Deep down she'd always known the source of her heartache was much more complex than one single person, but the darkness had consumed her and allowed her to defy that logic. It had been easier to target one inferior Snow White rather than taking on all of the monsters who had a hands-on role in breaking her. For years she'd avoided this truth until, as Archie pointed out, her time spent being loved during the curse had allowed her pesky conscious and empathy and reasoning return to her.

Even now, with as angry as she was over the curse being broken and her heart along with it, she could no longer use her rage to avoid rational thought and do what she pleased. She hated it. Things were much easier when she had a target to blame. Someone to openly hate and channel her dark energy towards without consequence. Someone whose misery she could make a goal of.

Being able to empathize again, to understand more than just her own point of view, had stolen the only form of self preservation she'd ever known. She could no longer simply channel the Evil Queen and take what she wanted without guilt or fear. Not when she could see the disappointment and disgust it caused in the eyes of the two people she loved more than anything.

"I don't want to be like you."

The way Henry had looked at her in that moment came to mind, bringing a fresh wave of tears as her stomach coiled with guilt and self loathing. That image alone destroyed her ability to revert back to her old self. It invaded her thoughts anytime she had been tempted to rain fire on the town and take Henry away like the darkness urged her to. Her son's opinion of her meant more to her than anything ever had and it kept her in line, stopping her from making the rash decisions she desperately wanted to lately.

"What have you done to me?"

The memory of David's rage-filled expression flashed behind her eyes next, making her grimace as she tried to swallow down the suffocating urge to sob that built in her chest. The sheer hatred in his eyes had been such a stark contrast to the love she'd gotten used to seeing there. Though it'd been nearly a month, the thought of him that day still felt like it knocked the breath out of her.

David had let her be caged. Had suggested they let the wraith have her. Had backed her against a wall with his hand on her neck. How could Archie believe David capable of feeling anything but hatred for her? She'd torn him from his true love, made him miss raising his daughter and cursed him into a life with her. The thought of what she'd done to him made her sick and she couldn't fathom how the shrink thought it would ever be possible for David to look past it.

Archie's suggestion to simply tell him her true feelings was absurd. There was no world where she could ask Prince Charming to choose her over Snow White and not get laughed out of the room. She knew that was a reality she needed to accept, but the stupid bug had gotten inside of her head and as much as she did not to admit it, her behavior had already started to change around David.

Before they'd moved back in, Regina had been behaving herself in order to keep her promise to Henry and for David to continue to let her see him. Now that they were here, she found herself wanting to do more - to fall back into the role of wife and mother and remind them of how happy they were before. To remind them of who she was with them instead of who she was in her past.

In the week following that particular session with Archie, she'd already made more of an effort to avoid conflict with David. She ignored his sour moods and his barbs when they crossed paths, which he had made sure wasn't very often. He'd leave the house early and come in late, remain mostly quiet at dinner aside from speaking to Henry and would not engage with her unless necessary. When he did address her he avoided eye contact and often made remarks she knew were formulated to bait her, though she didn't bite. It was entirely foreign and extremely challenging to simply dismiss him instead of engage, but she had managed for the most part.

Henry had been much easier to find some sense of normalcy with. He'd even seemed concerned about how she was feeling and handling everything that had happened. She sometimes caught him looking at her with an inquisitive gaze and felt sure he had more questions for her that he hadn't figured out how to ask yet. It made her nervous to think of how she would explain things when he did ask for more details, but she tabled that for now.

Her son was certainly warmer with her and it had been an enormous source of comfort. Her only source, if she was honest with herself. Their relationship wasn't back to the close-knit one they shared before the storybook upended their lives, but it was certainly an improvement. He seemed to be realizing there was more to what the storybook contained and she remained hopeful that it would help her earn his forgiveness, or at the very least his understanding.

David, however, remained lost to her even though he lived under her roof once more. He was within arms reach but still miles away, almost like he had shut out her existence entirely so that he could function for their son. It hurt even though she understood and so she tried not to provoke him or give him any reminders of her past sins. She told herself it was to keep the peace for Henry's sake, but her heart knew otherwise.

It was stupid and pathetic to put any energy into trying to stop the inevitable outcome of David going back to Snow and yet she found herself subconsciously doing so in various ways. She'd curbed her dark instincts and refused to argue with him. She'd slipped back into taking care of them as she had before. She made their favorite home-cooked meals and did laundry and anticipated their needs, even though they'd never asked her to. Taking care of them was something she loved to do and deep down she hoped they'd take notice.

Archie's suggestion of telling David how she felt was impossible and she supposed she had been trying to show it instead. Maybe if she created some normalcy and familiarity of their life before the storybook he'd remember how good it had been. Maybe if she let her guard down a little he'd realize she had been her true self with him. Maybe he would find that their family was worth fighting for. Maybe he wouldn't discard her as soon as Snow returned...

She knew it was foolish to even entertain these thoughts, but there had been moments between them since the curse was broken that made heart want to give Archie's hypothesis merit. There had been looks exchanged and indecipherable statements and unnecessary arguments. Not to mention the way he'd questioned her on more than one occasion if anything had been real during the curse. When she let her mind get carried away and added up all of those factors it made hope creep up within her. Then the dread would turn her stomach, thinking of how severely this would break her when that hope was crushed.

Regina pulled the delicate chain holding Daniels ring from under the edge of her sweater, rolling it gently between her fingers. The chaos had kept her in constant turmoil and she'd had little time to truly grieve him again. Her last moments with him still haunted her, especially at night, and she'd woken up in cold sweats more than once.

The restless sleep had also welcomed other nightmares back to her for the first time in decades and she'd been waking up terrified. Terrified and unable to run down the hall to the person she used to seek comfort in. It left her feeling tired and fragile and even more susceptible to the yearning thoughts she had now. David's comfort was the one thing that made her feel like everything would be okay, but it was no longer hers to have. It never was.

Henry's scream jolted David from his sleep, causing him to sit up straight before he even knew what was happening. His son's second strangled yell had him propelling from the guest bed and running out of the room with a hand on the doorframe to help him turn for Henry's bedroom. He met Regina's wild-eyed gaze as she bolted from her room and they met in the middle with her making it into Henry's room and David directly behind her.

Henry was waking then, panting for breath as he sat up in his bed and looked around in panic. His expression flickered with relief at the sight of his parents scrambling towards his bed and Regina's hands were on him in an instant, pushing his damp hair from his face and checking his body for injuries.

"Henry, are you hurt? What happened?" She asked, trying to catch her own breath as she found his arms clear from burn marks.

"It's okay, we're here," David nodded and sat down on the opposite side of the bed that Regina had, reaching out to grip Henry's shoulder, "Was it the same dream?"

"Yeah," he nodded breathlessly as he looked between them, "But I couldn't tell who it was, and I woke up before I could they could speak to me."

"The same as last time?" David looked to Regina for confirmation after she'd been present for the last one when he'd woken with the burn mark.

"Yes," she exhaled slowly and tried to gather her thoughts after being sent into such a panic, "But you're not hurt anywhere?" she looked to Henry who nodded in response, "Then Gold's charm must be working."

"If it's working why is he still being tortured by these nightmares?" David's jaw clenched in frustration at how helpless he felt.

"It doesn't have the power to stop them, only to keep him safe-" Regina shook her head but remained staring intently at Henry to reassure herself he was all right, "Could you tell anything about the person? If it was the same person from the last dream?"

"I don't know, they were wearing a cape and they had their back to me. I think it was a woman but-" her son shook his head unsurely.

"Did it look like it could've been Snow or Emma?" David asked quickly, his eyes widening.

"He said he didn't know-" she cut her eyes towards him sharply but tried to keep her tone neutral.

"Someone is trying to send him a message, it makes sense-" David frowned back at her, eyes narrowing in suspicion briefly before he looked to Henry, "Did it look like it could be either of them?"

"I don't think so, I think it was a woman-" their son scrunched his face in an attempt to think clearly, "-but she had long dark hair, I think, but I don't know, there were flames between us and I was yelling and they mostly had their back to me."

"It's okay, just relax for now, alright?" Regina murmured and ran a hand over his hair before pulling him into an embrace, letting out a breath of relief when he didn't fight it but wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're safe."

"If you remember anything else let us know all right?" he nodded and ran his hand over Henry's arm once had Regina let go of him and he began lying down in his bed. David felt her give him a threatening look but he ignored her and leaned down to press a kiss to Henry's head, "Go back to sleep now. Everything's okay. I'm just across the hall and I have my door open so I can listen for you."

Henry nodded and looked between the two of them, his eyes heavy with exhaustion thanks to his fitful sleep and the nightmare. Regina reached up and brushed the side of his face with her thumb like she did when he was younger, smiling warmly at the way it had his eyes fluttering sleepily just like it did back then.

"We're right here, my prince. Go back to sleep," she murmured with a reassuring nod and watched his eyes close, keeping up her stroking of his hairline for a few minutes until his breathing had slowed down and he appeared to have drifted back to sleep.

She felt David's eyes glued to her as she watched Henry sleep for a few minutes before she felt satisfied enough to stand slowly from the bed. She refused to look his way but caught him following in her peripheral vision as she made her way out of Henry's room.

David watched her turn to go back to her own room without so much as a glance back at him, prompting him to follow her down the hall. Her dark expression warned him away as he crossed the threshold to their old room and saw that he was intent on the intrusion, but his steps didn't falter.

"Can I help you?"

"I think we should talk, don't you?"

"About what, David?" she grit out, jaw twitching when she turned to see him closing the door almost shut so their voices wouldn't travel down the hall.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that someone's trying to speak to our son through nightmares?" he smiled sarcastically and shook his head in annoyance, "Or are you content with ignoring the topic knowing who might be trying to reach him?"

She let out a mirthless chuckle and crossed her arms, "If you're accusing me of something, just say it."

"Well, I do think it's convenient how you have no interest in trying to find out who it is," he stared at her intently, his insides churning, "Unless it's because you know it's my wife or daughter."

"How would I know that?" She asked, but her tone was tired instead of angry like he had expected and she let her eyes close briefly, "Even Rumple could not tell us who it was. Until Henry can see them we won't know."

"So there's not some kind of magic you can do to find out?" he motioned towards her as he continued to question her. "Any other time you'd move mountains to find out what was ailing your son and now you're just content with seeing what happens?!"

"You don't think I want to stop it?!" She finally snapped, unable to curb herself any longer at his interrogation. His accusation that she would stand by and let Henry suffer while she knowingly could fix it made her anger and hurt skyrocket once more. "I would never sit by and let my son be harmed. Even if it was your wife and daughter trying to get through, I would fix it if I could to keep him safe. Even if it meant them coming back and me losing Henry all over again!"

David pressed his lips together firmly and stared back at her in contemplation. His first suspicion was that she knew more about Henry's dreams than she'd let on and was refraining, but now it seemed stupid. It made him feel guilty to consider that she might be letting Henry go through this for her own plotting means, but then again, it's what she had done during the curse unraveling. She'd let their son think he was crazy and even sent him to Archie for therapy in order to keep things intact for as long as she could.

"You have to admit that, at least historically speaking, it's not outside the realm of possibilities, Regina," he frowned and looked away from her, not being able to face the hurt that shone through her eyes past the anger.

"Well, I hate to inform you that you are mistaken. I know it's much easier for you to blame me at every turn, but I made a promise to Henry that I would redeem myself for him," Regina swallowed the burning sensation in her throat and hardened her expression, "And I intend to keep my end of the bargain. That includes never deceiving him again and no longer standing in the way of what he wants, and he's made it clear on several occasions that he wants your precious wife and daughter to return. So, I will help make that happen should a way to do so arise. For Henry. Rest assured, David, I'm not keeping you from any knowledge of their whereabouts."

"You'd help us bring them back?" he asked, guilt gnawing at his stomach when he watched her shift on her bare feet, appearing so small before him with no makeup or heels or power suit. She just looked like his Regina and it made his heart ache with longing and his head pound with frustration as the conflicting feelings tore through him.

"You've heard everything Henry's said about me-" Regina's brows furrowed with a deep frown in an attempt to stone her expression, but her voice shook and she paused to regain control of it, "I'm the Evil Queen to him, not his mother. He doesn't even think me capable of love-" her breath hitched and her eyes shifted to the floor, "I've merely been a distraction for him, something familiar to comfort him while Snow and Emma are gone."

"That's..." he found himself disagreeing with her a bit too avidly for his liking, pausing to rein in his reaction. "That's not true."

"It isn't?" she scoffed humorlessly and looked up at him with glistening eyes, "I lied to him. I broke his trust. His mother, the person who should be the last to ever hurt him, I did that and those scars don't go away over night. Once Emma gets back he's going to have a mother who hasn't betrayed him, a mother who is a hero and someone he can look up to and love without shame."

"Henry loves you, Regina," David's jaw clenched and he held himself back from stepping forward and pulling her into his embrace. "He does. Otherwise he wouldn't of asked us to keep you safe when the curse broke."

"He loves who he thought I was. He doesn't accept who I actually am-" she shook her head and refused to meet his gaze before murmuring, "-who I'll always be. The Evil Queen."

"Regina this is our-" he began before correcting himself, clearing his throat at the knot forming in it, "-this is his home. You've been his mother for ten years. Yeah Snow and Emma coming would make Henry will be ecstatic, but it doesn't change who you are to him."

"It will."

"If you believe that then why are you going to the trouble of redeeming yourself for him? I know you must've considered using magic and taking Henry away by now but you haven't. Why go through all of this if you think you're going to lose him?"

"Because either way...whatever he chooses-" her voice wavered with emotion as she swiped a tear from her face, "-I want to keep my promise. I want to prove to him that I'm not just who everyone says I am, even if he chooses not to be a part of my life. If I can prove that I am redeemable then maybe he won't be as ashamed to have once called me his mother."

David's chest ached and his stomach sank at her confession. The part of his cursed mind that still harbored feelings for her screamed at him to comfort her and yet he couldn't bring himself to move. If he caved emotionally then who knows where it would lead? He couldn't, in good conscious, comfort the woman who had separated him from his wife and daughter. Who had torn apart their lives. Still she looked broken and it kept his feet planted, staring at her quietly as he warred within himself.

"You should go to bed," Regina suggested, seeing the torment in his gaze and sensing he felt obligated to comfort her because it was his nature. He was simply good and the least she could do was free him of any sense of duty he felt to her. He was innocent in all of this, after all.

David watched her turn her back to go towards their bed. His side of the bed, where she'd clearly still been sleeping. Her verbal dismissal of him seemed like such the opposite of her body language, but then she glanced back at him with a cold stare when he didn't leave. He nodded once in response to it, reminding himself to accept the situation for what it was instead of what his confused heart wanted it to be. And then he left.

David took slow steps down the stairs on his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, still half asleep after waking up in the night parched. He registered a light left on in the living room when he reached the foyer and shuffled in that direction to turn it off out of habit. A mumbled voice startled him as he made his way in and reached for the lamp switch, causing him to freeze as he took a quick sweep of the dimly lit living room for the source. His eyes found Regina's sleeping form curled on the couch and he exhaled slowly in relief.

He remained still as he contemplated if he should wake her to go up to bed and he frowned when he heard her make another noise that sounded rather distressed. In all the years they'd lived together he'd never known her to fall asleep downstairs and the sight alone bewildered his sleep addled brain. It was when she made another frightened sound followed by 'Daniel' that he found himself quickly walking across the living room to wake her.

"Regina," David spoke softly as he reached down without hesitation, putting his hand on her shoulder to gently shake her awake, "-you should go up to-"

He was cut off my a strangled yelp when her eyes shot open and she scrambled to sit up, pressing her back into the couch like a cornered animal recoiling from his touch. Her eyes were wild with fear and he noticed then that her chest heaved and her skin was sweaty, telling him she'd been experiencing the nightmare for a solid amount of time.

"Hey, it's David, it's me-" he said quickly as he saw her stare up at him in shock and fear as her brain slowly processed that she was awake and safe, unlike wherever she'd been in the dream.

"Oh-" she replied with a hoarse voice when seemed to recognize him and attempted to hide her panting with a deep exhale. Her gaze dropped to her lap as she ran a hand up to push the damp hair from her face. "I, uhm, must've fallen asleep-"

David studied her for a moment, seeing the way her hands trembled despite the way she tried to keep them moving to hide it. She looked pale and shaken and he couldn't bring himself to walk away so he found himself sitting on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. "Nightmares again? You haven't had them in so long."

Her head snapped up to look at him and she visibly swallowed at the casual question. In the beginning of the curse she'd still suffered from nightmares of her mother and Leopold's abuse, often waking him with her thrashing or sudden noises. It felt strange that he'd remember, but then again why wouldn't he? He had been the one who held and calmed her through it all. It was his presence that had made her feel safe for the first time in her life.

"They seem to be the theme around here don't they?" she mumbled dryly in reference to Henry's incident, deflecting her vulnerability with humor in true Regina fashion.

"Have you been sleeping at all?" he asked, his vision adjusting to the light enough to see the dark circles under her eyes when she finally looked up from her lap.

"Here and there," she admitted quietly before averting her gaze from his once more.

"Have you been having these nightmares ever since that day in the stables?" David questioned gently and watched for her reaction. He'd blocked the memories of that day up to this point, not wanting to think about what Daniel had said to him. As a result he had turned a blind eye to her grief and now remorse twisted at his insides.

"How did you know it was about Daniel?" her brows furrowed.

"You mumbled his name right before I woke you," he gave a slow nod, his own confusion marring his features, "You remember?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she exhaled shakily, still trying to steady her breathing though his intent stare did nothing to help.

"You always said back then that you didn't remember what your nightmares were about when you woke up," he let his forearms rest on his knees as he watched her dark eyes shift back to look at him, "Were those about Daniel as well?"

"Amongst other things," she admitted, feeling raw now that her nerves were fried. She didn't have it in her to avoid questions or come up with lies to hide behind tonight.

"You almost just had a panic attack-" he studied her with more concern, hating that he'd caught her in this moment. It once again blurred his logic and made him want to hold and reassure her until she didn't look so lost and scared. "-they were never that powerful before."

"You were there to wake me before they got to that point," she replied honestly and her eyes darted to her lap once more, not wanting him to think she was asking for comfort.

'She loves you.' Daniel's statement echoed in David's mind. Memories of holding her until she calmed and fell back asleep flooded him, making it harder to stifle the urge.

"We should go to bed," he said quietly, his brain screaming at him to get them out of this situation before he caved.

"I-I think I'll just stay here for a bit-" she replied and began to untangle the blanket from her legs, giving her reason to avoid looking back at him.

He heard the way her voice still faltered and watched the way her hands still trembled slightly and his heart slowly began to drown out his logic. All he saw was his Regina, shaking from nightmares that hadn't plagued her in decades. He realized then that they'd happened at the beginning of the curse, thinking back on how she'd seemed reluctant to let her hold him at first. He hadn't noticed it then and eventually she had begun to burrow into him the second he woke her and opened his arms.

It struck him that she'd been truly vulnerable with him back then, just as she was being now. She wasn't the fearless Evil Queen in this moment and it made him wonder if she ever truly was. The woman in front of him was incredibly human and crippled by a past he didn't fully understand. There was more to her that he wasn't aware of and it was reflected back at him in those haunted dark eyes. Those expressive eyes that allowed himself to stop thinking and just act.

"What are you doing?" her voice was startled when he moved forward from the coffee table and turned his body, sitting down on the couch beside of her.

"I'm sitting with you," he replied softly, watching her eyes growing wider as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. She went rigid under his touch for a few moments, but he brought his other arm around her to hold her securely.

Regina's body began to relax after the initial shock, her heart thumping wildly at being so close to him again. He felt like warmth and love and so, so safe. He'd taken her off guard with the sudden comfort, zapping the last bit of mental energy she had left, and so she sank into him further, giving in completely when she felt his chin rest in her hair. She couldn't think about it. She couldn't talk herself out of it. She had no self control, not when she'd craved this so badly.

David felt his throat constrict as he let his head rest back against the couch, blinking away the emotion that rushed through him. He had missed her so much. He'd been in such turmoil since the curse was broken and having her in his arms was overwhelming. It was a comfort he hadn't known he'd needed so desperately. It felt like home.

A tear slid down his cheek at the combination of relief and defeat flooding him. His eyes shifted down at her dark hair as she nuzzled the top of her head into his neck and brought a hand up against his chest. He kept his arms locked around her, giving her a gentle squeeze when he heard her own quiet whimper and sharp inhale. David tried to tell himself that it was her nightmare and her anxiety over losing Henry and her grief over Daniel that had her upset...but deep down, he felt it. He felt that familiar connection with her and he knew, in this moment, that it was real.