Chapter 2:

I'm used to being loved by my Aniki. He always puts me first. I know that.

Always.

He leaves work early to pick me up from school. He always wants to drop me off or walk with me to school in the morning even if he has to wake up as early as I do. When I ask for something, he never says no to me. He supports me. When I'm with Aniki, I feel special. He treats me like I'm the most precious thing to him.

I won't lie. Sometimes, I take advantage of my Aniki's generosity and kindness just to prove to myself that he does give me everything I could want. It's twisted, kind of like manipulation, I know, but he always looks at me like he's aware of what I'm doing, and I don't doubt for a second that he does. But he lets me anyway with that small twinkle embedded in his eyes.

When I'm with my Aniki, I don't have to worry about anything else…. Well, other than worrying about Itachi, himself.

He knows everything about me, but I know very little about him. I realized this recently. His work, his friends, even his hobbies… I don't really know anything about Aniki.

I know he likes sweets. I know he is a great cook. I know he's smart, kind, athletic, and sweet. I also know he's stupidly honest and wears his heart on his sleeve.

I know he leaves his bedroom door unlocked at night, one of his habits. I know he showers at night because he likes to be squeaky clean when he lays down in bed. I know, when he's sad, his eyes get watery or distant, and he looks like he swallowed a quarter. And I know, when he sees me, his lips characteristically twitch to form a smile.

I'm also aware that he's clingy and nags all the time, but it doesn't bother me much. Just the other morning, I knew, from looking into his eyes, that he would follow me to school. School is about fifteen minutes away by foot, but I prefer to walk in the morning when it's nice and cool.

Itachi doesn't leave me alone about it. It bums him out when I decline his ride or offer to walk together, but he goes in the opposite direction, so it doesn't make sense to waste that much time on something so trivial.

My Aniki is built like a tank. He's big and muscular, tall and intimidating to look at, so it's not difficult at all to spot him a thousand feet away even if he's lurking in the shadows. But I wouldn't really call that clingy because I know he thinks everyone and everything is dangerous and he's trying to keep a lookout for me. So I let it go.

I think I would call him clingy when we go out together. I mean that in the most physical sense, too. If we're at the supermarket, he has a hard time even being ten feet from me. He likes to trail after me in the aisles and we hardly ever roam our separate ways to buy things. Other times, he gets angry at other people, especially strangers, who try to approach me. That, I can understand. Strangers make me antsy. Or, if he needs to address a situation, he tells me not to move from my spot, that he'd be right back, and then he freaks out when I'm not there.

He thinks I don't notice these things, but I do. I just don't say anything about it because he looks so anxious during these times, and I don't want to make it worse.

But I digress. These are the things that I know about Itachi. Everything outside our home is blank. Mysterious. His work, his friends, his extracurricular activities… I don't know anything about them, and it doesn't sit right with me.

I realize this today as I sit in the lobby of my Aniki's company building, staring at the architecture. It's Saturday, and we were having lunch at a diner two blocks away when he got a call from work, asking him to come in and submit some additional paperwork because the original was lost.

The pure look of anger in Itachi's eyes instantly told me he was not happy. Aniki's like that. I think he hates having to deal with people who don't know what they're doing. "Idiot dumbfucks," he mumbles when he ends the call.

Yeaaah. Don't get me started on the language.

"Stay here, Otouto. I'll be back in a few minutes," he tells me, but I'm already standing up with him.

"I don't want to," I say, grabbing my phone off the table. "I want to go with you, Aniki."

He bites his lip. I can tell he wants me to sit back down and just wait for him here. It makes him anxious when I don't listen to him. I already know that, but I want to see where he works. I don't understand what's so bad about it that he has never allowed me to explore his place of work before. "Okay," he eventually utters. His brows are furrowed. He looks displeased and he's trying to hide it, but he's also doing his best to be accommodating.

Aniki pays for lunch and I thank him sweetly for it, watching the tension in his shoulders ease away as my hair gets tousled in his large hand. "Anytime, Otouto," he murmurs.

When we arrive in front of his building, he points to the waiting area in the lobby. "Have a seat there, okay? Don't go anywhere. Don't talk to strangers. Wait for me to come back, Otouto."

I have to roll my eyes. Sometimes, he talks to me like I'm four. "I will try my best, Aniki," I reply with a mock salute, only to be answered with a tap on my nose. That's his way of calling me a cute, snarky brat.

It's Saturday, so there aren't many people around. I glance around the place. It's clean. The counters are lined with marble and the floors are tiled and glossy. There's decorative art hanging on quite a number of walls as well as lively plants. The windows are large, and sunlight streams into the place, giving off an elegant, modern vibe.

"I know you."

I turn to look left, the direction Itachi headed, and I see someone staring in my direction. He has blond hair, but the tips are dyed red, and blue eyes. He's tall, too. Much taller than me, but less than Aniki. His skin glows, slightly tan, and he's in your typical suit, except his coat is off and his sleeves are rolled up.

He's looking directly at me, and I know he's talking to me because there's no one else here. But I don't know him, so there was no way he could have known who I was. So I ignor him. I look away, outside of the window actually, and watch the cars and people hustle and bustle by. It takes but a few seconds for the man to sit next to me on the couch. I should have expected it, but it came as a surprise.

"You are just every bit as adorable as you are in that picture!" he exclaims.

I can feel my lips twisting into a frown as my head tilts in his direction, my confusion following closely after. I shifted away from him because he's closer than I anticipated and much closer than I'm used to. Aniki is usually there to sever the physical distance between other people and me, so the fact that I can feel his presence unnerves me. It's odd. Maybe I'm too sheltered if a random stranger makes me feel this level of unease. "I don't know you."

"I'm Kyuubi," the blond replies. "I work with Itachi."

Instantly, I'm alert. Any smidgen of discomfort is wiped cleanly away as my curiosity piques. This is good. Maybe he can help me fill in some of the blanks. I sit straight up and, albeit subconsciously, edge forward in his direction. "Oh," I breathe. I'm sure my eyes are sparkling, but this is good. Finally, someone who could tell me something about Itachi. "My Aniki."

His eyes light up as if he's amused, but I don't care. Maybe it's the way my eyes widened into saucers or something that made me look weird, but he appears entertained. I honestly don't care as long as he dishes out the details.

"Mhmm. So you are his baby brother?"

I nod enthusiastically.

Yes, I'm the baby in our family.

We only have each other. He's mine just like I'm his. Aniki and Otouto, that is.

"He's never mentioned you before, so I wasn't sure you existed until I saw your picture. What are you doing here?" he asks.

His comment rubs me the wrong way, makes my chest feel tight, but I ignore it for now. It's weird talking to a stranger so normally without my Aniki as the middle man. Weird, but not entirely horrible. The blonde man seemed nice and genuinely curious, so I told him.

"Aniki needs to do something really quick for work."

"I see."

"Are you his friend?"

He looks taken aback by my question, and I guess it's natural, seeing as how I asked it out of the blue.

Kyuubi shrugs. "Itachi likes to take everything at his own pace, so I can't really say."

I nod vehemently in acquiescence. That definitely sounded like Aniki. Kyuubi's words didn't insinuate anything particularly bad. It wasn't a yes, but it also wasn't a no.

"What's your name, by the way?"

"Oh. I'm Sas-"

"Get away from him!"

My head instantly whips toward the direction Aniki's voice is coming from, and I freeze.

Uh oh. He looks mad.

Itachi's posture is stiff. He has that scary glare on his face. Even his lips are lifted in a snarl.

"Otouto." He calls out to me, and I can identify the shakiness in his voice. He's very mad, but it's not like I got up and wandered around. I waited here just like he instructed.

"Aniki," I chime, pushing myself onto my feet. As soon as I'm up, my Aniki is at my side, and I feel a warm, firm palm on my lower back, pushing me in the direction of the exit.

"We're leaving." That's all he says.

"Did you finish what you had to do?" I asked as he led me outside. Even then, he continues to guide me insistently with his large palm, pushing me along at a pace that's quicker than I'm comfortable with. It's not five seconds later, after we're one block over and can no longer see the building, that we stop and he's in my face.

"You're too nice to strangers!" he hisses. Aniki's hand is gripping tightly onto my wrist now, and he has transferred the glare over to me.

I'm sad. Instantly. His words and behavior make me sad, and I don't know why. I know I don't like when he yells at me, especially when I haven't done anything wrong, but I don't know. It's not just that. Is it because he thinks I can't handle myself? Maybe it's because he's acting a little bit more different than usual? Or is it because he looks disappointed in me? I don't know. I really don't.

My chest feels tight again like the skin had been drawn tight over my heart, and my gaze turns downward, fixated on the concrete. We're standing in an alleyway, hidden from prying eyes, and the hustle and bustle continues on the sidewalk not far from us.

"Why were you sitting so close to him?" Aniki asks. His tone is low, but I know it's a farce. He's not whispering to be gentle and nice. It's interrogatory.

I can't answer his question because I didn't even realize we were sitting anywhere close to each other. I shake my head and bite onto the bottom of my lower lip when I feel it quiver.

Aniki is relentless with questions. Once he starts, he doesn't stop. Sometimes, when he's agitated, he'll go on a binge with his words, and when that happens, his tone comes out sharp and the look on his face is mean. Just like right now. "What were you talking about with him?"

I don't even remember anymore.

"How long was he there with you?" He releases a sound at the back of his throat that makes me think he's frustrated. I hate that sound. My eyes brim with tears.

"Did he touch you? Did he say anything to you? Why didn't you tell him to stay away from you? Did you forget what I told you?"

These are the times I don't understand him. When he gets like this, obsessed over the weirdest things, it makes me anxious and sad and frustrated all at the same time. I can see my tears on the floor, small circular stains, before my own sobs reach my ears. "I-I sat and waited for you…. I didn't g-go anywhere…. I didn't leave. Why are you m-mad?"

Aniki exhales harshly, eyes shutting briefly before they land on me again. "I told you not to talk to strangers, Otouto."

"B-But he said he works with you," I tell him, looking up to meet his gaze. My cheeks are wet with tears, but my sobs aren't noticeable anymore. "I wanted to get to know you better… what you're like at work," I mumble.

"Through him?" Aniki snaps again.

He's getting meaner. I don't like it. Especially when- Oh. I know what it is.

"At least my friends know you exist," I mutter with a scowl.

"What?"

See, that's the thing. I like sharing with people that I have an Aniki, that he exists and treats me like I'm special. But he doesn't like sharing with people that I'm his Otouto. He hides me from them like I'm a bastard child. After hearing Kyuubi's words, I'm not even sure anyone knows I exist. You're supposed to share things about the people you love with your friends and colleagues, right?

That makes me sad. But I've never told him. I'm terrified to hear his answer. Maybe I don't matter to him like I so arrogantly think. Maybe he just likes bossing me around. I'm probably not even important to him.

"Nothing," I say, louder this time.

Aniki scowls right back at me. "We're going home, Otouto."

I jerk my hand away from him, ignoring his genuine look of astonishment as if he never expected that of me. I swipe angrily at the tears on my cheeks. "You can go. I don't want to."

"Sasuke," Itachi growls my name. It's a warning. I know. It's nothing new. Aniki is such an asshole sometimes. He thinks he can treat me like a baby all the time. He thinks I'll cave just because he uses that displeasing tone on me. Well, he's wrong.

Just like I know all the things about my Aniki's quirks, I also know that, when he calls me by name, I'm either in big trouble or he's saying something really important to me. In this instance, it's definitely not the latter.

"You're an ass, Aniki," I tell him. Then, I stomp away and into the busy street. I run as soon as I see people and blend in with the crowd, ignoring the screams behind me.

H.J.

I'm borderline hysterical.

Aside from school and work, I can't recall the last time I was truly separated from my Otouto. I always know where he is. But not right now. Not this second.

One moment, Sasuke is standing in front of me, and the next he disappears just like that. Without warning. Just gone.

It's so easy for him to do it that it makes my heart constrict in my chest.

I shove past the sea of people in my way, breaths puffing loudly, as I look in every direction. The streets are so crowded that I can't see more than twenty feet ahead. Heads bob and weave, chatter increases, and the sinking reality that he's gone makes me drop to my knees in the middle of the street.

"Sasuke!" I scream. It startles a few people around me, but otherwise life moves on… and no one responds.

I came home two and a half hours later. I scoured the mile radius of where he ran off, but my luck is brutal. It must have ran out when I opened my stupid mouth and yelled in his face. The sofa cushion sinks under me and my face is in my hands. I realize I'm sobbing a minute later.

Despair hits me hard. I made a mistake. I left him alone. He shouldn't have gone with me in the first place. I wanted him to wait for me at the diner, where it would be safe, where he could enjoy his cheeseburger and fries. He had hardly eaten any of it before I got the call.

He should have never met Kyuubi.

It's my fault.

And I was mean about it. God, I was so mean.

He hates when I'm mean. It's rare when I am, but it's never without cause. Recently, when my Otouto comes into contact with something he hates, he bolts. He used to just shut down and go to his room, but lately he takes off, and it takes me an agonizing amount of time to find him again.

I try to prevent it by maintaining control of situations as they come, but sometimes I get antsy and that leads to a bit of madness. Then, I just say shit and fuck it up even more. I can't help it. Lately, it's been getting worse. I see him smiling at and talking to other people and I just go nuts.

My shaky hand runs through my messy locks. The band had slipped off from constant tugging, and now my long hair cascades over my hunched shoulders.

The tears won't stop.

What if he's wandering around without money and he's still hungry? What if he got lost somewhere? What if Sasuke never came back? What if he was still mad at me? What if he hates me now?

I don't know what I'll do if he hates me.

Good god, I'm a fucking wreck.

I can't help the things I say when I'm angry. But it's not my Otouto. It's them. The people who want to stick their grimy hands into our lives. Sasuke is special. He can't have disgusting people around him. He needs a safe space to be loved and nurtured. He doesn't need scum following him around like gum smeared onto the bottom of his shoe.

But sometimes, I can't help, but project onto my Otouto. Why is he so nice to them? Why did he have to be so trusting and friendly with random strangers? Can't he tell that people are inherently evil and don't care for anything other than themselves?

Why can't he see that I am all he needs?

Everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Strangers are the worst of the lot. They are wolves in sheep's clothing. Repugnant. Sleazy. Disgusting. They are all monsters.

There is a reason I don't let my Otouto out of my sight. I'm not doing it to be a complete asshole. Never. Not to my sweet Sasuke. I do it because I need to, because he's too trusting. He's so loveable, kind, and sweet that he would stop in the middle of the road to help a stranger who's asking for directions. He'd eat food that strangers give him. He'd even get swayed by sad and pitiful looks. An alien can come up to him and, with the right rhetoric and choice of words, can convince him that it's a human being.

My Otouto is so unguarded that he doesn't realize that the people he encounters have ill intentions. That's why he didn't tell me about the incidents in the past until I found out for myself.

"What are you doing here by yourself?"

Six-year-old Sasuke perked up and glanced around until he saw a tall, gaunt man standing behind the park bench. "I'm not here by myself," he said. "My Aniki is over there."

Sure enough, Itachi was about a hundred feet away paying the ice cream vendor.

"I see. Well, I sell candy over there." The stranger gestured at the row of trucks behind him. "I have some extra so I thought I'd bring them over to you." The stranger stretched out his palm to reveal three spherical hard candies, all various colors and wrapped neatly in cellophane.

Sasuke's brows furrowed and his cheeks puffed out. "I can't take candy from strangers."

"Well, I'm not a stranger. We have been talking this whole time, haven't we? Strangers are people you don't know, and now you know me."

Sasuke's cheeks puffed out once again in thought. "Hmmm…."

"We can keep this a secret from your brother."

"But keeping secrets is bad."

"Keeping secrets is only bad if the secret hurts people, but it's only candy."

Sasuke reluctantly stretched out his hand for the candies.

Plop.

They fell into his open palm.

"See? Nothing bad, right?"

"... Yeah."

"I have a bunch more in my truck over there. Why don't you come with me and I can get you a lot of them?" the man said, his cold hand suddenly on Sasuke's wrist.

The boy shivered involuntarily and began jerking his arm back, subsequently dropping the sweets on the ground. "That hurts," he squeaked.

"Just come with me and it'll all be okay."

"What the FUCK!" A roar from nearby echoed in both of their ears, alerting both vendors and pedestrians.

The odd touch disappeared and the man was suddenly gone, chased away by a slew of witnesses and Itachi, who had dropped the cone he had bought for Sasuke and snatched the boy into his embrace.

"Are you an idiot?! What the hell are you doing taking candy from strangers?" Itachi yelled. Simultaneously, he swept a sobbing Sasuke into his arms, cradling him in his arms. "Shh… Shhh… It's okay, Otouto. Aniki chased the bad guy away. It's okay."

So now, we don't do secrets. Sasuke and I do not have secrets. We grew up that way, promising each other that secrets were not okay no matter if they seemed good or bad. That's why we are so close. We tell each other everything.

My Otouto tells me about his day, school, friends, dreams, insecurities, his feelings… all of it. In return, I don't lie to him about anything. I answer any and all of his questions faithfully without holding back. Sasuke knows that, if he asks me a question, I will always respond honestly. That is the kind of relationship we have. Loving, trusting, devoted.

There is only one secret I keep from him, but I don't want to open that can of worms yet. Sasuke is too young for that, but when he is ready and wants to hear it, I will gladly divulge it to him.

I'm jolted into full consciousness by the sound of keys jingling. My feet pad along the hardwood floor. My shoes are still on. I must have been a mess if I came in through the front door and neglected to take them off.

I'm there the instant the door swings open, but my Otouto doesn't even spare me a glance, much less give me his attention. He's still mad at me. Furious even. I can tell because he refuses to look at me or say a word.

I bite my lip to refrain from saying what's on my mind, because if I do, I'm going to scare him away again. So instead I silently watch as my Otouto toes off his shoes and tosses his key into the bowl next to the foyer.

Sasuke walks past me to the kitchen and I hear the sound of the fridge opening and closing. He seems intent on ignoring me, which brings me a great deal of frustration and sadness. My chest feels like it's collapsing. It's so easy for him to make me feel things that it's ridiculously laughable. He probably doesn't know it, but he has me wrapped around his little finger, and I would always do anything to get back into his good graces, especially when I was the one who fucked up. Even if I wasn't to be blamed, I would still coax him closer.

I do this, because there is nothing more real than my love for Sasuke. When he stands before me, everything else is a blur… always has been. When he's not there, I (bashfully, I must admit) feel lost. Like my brain has been stripped from my body and shoved into my heart, so they can collectively pound harder against my ribcage like a deranged symphony.

Hence, there is no line I would not cross to be in his good graces, to have his attention on me, be his person. He's simply my universe, and each time my universe gives me the silent treatment, I die a little bit inside.

Those charred bits and pieces of myself have piled high inside me throughout the years, and it's no different this time as I watch my Otouto, with a snack and a bottle of water in his hand, turn to walk toward his bedroom. He intends to ignore me for the rest of the night and possibly the rest of the week, but can't he see how sad that makes me?

"Otouto," I whisper, licking my bottom lip when he pauses. "Please don't leave me." I must sound needy as fuck. Clearly, the desperation wasn't shy at all when it invaded my pleas. "Aniki is sorry. I should not have yelled at you. I was being mean because I was frustrated. I don't like strangers getting close to you. You know that. I- I just wanted you safe."

After hearing those words, Sasuke had released something that sounded like a grunt, but he refused to turn around to grace me with his presence.

I inhale slowly, attempting to reign in the emotions that began usurping my ability to think and form words. "I hate when you run away from me. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Please don't run from Aniki. Anything, but that."

Every second that my Otouto doesn't look at me is another second I feel weak, lost, desperate, numb. All wrapped together neatly with a crimson bow.

I can't let my Otouto leave like this. We can't go to bed with such disastrous emotions making slaves out of our bodies and minds.