Destiny Begins
by Milui Elenath
Chapter Fourteen
Merlin found himself more and more anxious as the day wore on. Uther's madness had grown, he'd had an outburst in full view of the court and had to be physically removed by Arthur, Leon and his personal guards to his chambers. Gaius had suggested it was Uther's conscience that was the trouble, perhaps it was but Merlin could tell Gaius was quietly perplexed as to why his remedies were not calming the king even during sleep. Now there were rumours about strange comings and goings from Cendred's kingdom. Merlin could only assume that word of Uther's illness had already reached Cendred and fears that the Camelot would seem vulnerable were now warranted. Merlin, however, was most worried about Arthur. The prince was driving on with his tasks as if everything was normal. Arthur had a strong tendency to denial and it could, if not checked lead to both overexertion and sometimes a stubborn determination to put himself in harm's way.
Merlin had determined the best way to help Arthur, for now, was simply to ensure he ate, slept and kept fighting fit. After all, if Uther were incapacitated permanently Arthur was going to need to be in top form and if a war were to come . . . but Arthur had not appreciated Merlin's fussing. He'd dismissed him for the evening with more irritation than usual and was firm that Merlin was not to return until morning.
Merlin now continued pacing the physician's quarters.
"Here," Gaius held out a bottle forcibly, "since you have excess energy to buzz around make yourself useful and take this up to Uther, give him a spoonful if he's awake otherwise leave it nearby – I'll give it to him when I check on him later."
Merlin reached out and took the potion. "Do you really think it's his conscience, Gaius?"
Gaius thought a moment, "that and exhaustion. Yes. It's very possible."
"But he's never shown any remorse before," Merlin chewed a finger.
"Perhaps not," Gaius conceded, "but the inner workings of the mind are a mystery to us all. What Uther's thoughts really are who can guess? We are all aware of the obsession he had with recovering Morgana, how Camelot was beginning to suffer under his personal crusade."
"But she's back now," Merlin argued.
"Yes and that may have been the trigger. Suddenly all those months have caught up with him."
"I suppose," Merlin said.
Gaius gave Merlin a quizzical look but Merlin simply lifted the potion in a gesture that he would do Gaius' bidding. Merlin made his way to Uther's chamber. He had no theory as to what or why Uther had been overcome with this illness, no reason to feel particular uneasiness but something did feel off. Though Merlin himself had felt off-kilter since the feast, he frowned. He would think about why when all of this settled down.
Merlin pressed open the door to the king's chamber. Inside Uther slept and so Merlin did as Gaius instructed and placed the potion upon the bureau. He was about to leave when he noticed the king's bedclothes had slipped from him. Shivering and frightened Uther did invoke pity and yet Merlin knew Uther would not have and had not had any for the children he had drowned. Nonetheless, for Arthur's sake, Merlin pulled the blankets over the king, for Arthur's sake and perhaps Morgana's too. Merlin had been surprised by her reaction, so concerned and tender. When he spoke to her the other morning she had mentioned little of Uther but her tone had remained disgusted. Maybe her feelings were complicated or compassion was brought to the fore seeing Uther like this. He hoped that was it. Merlin shot a final once-over glance towards the king and was about to leave when he heard it, a dripping sound. He stopped and bent seeing mud pooling beneath the king's bed.
Strange. He touched the goo and rubbed it between his fingers – magic. He felt it.
Merlin heard a noise, someone was entering.
Some strange instinct took hold and he shot himself under the bed to hide. It was ridiculous really, he had a justifiable reason for being in the king's chamber. Maybe it was just that old habit of hiding his comings and goings, maybe it was the thought of being discovered in the vicinity of magic goo or maybe it was destiny because he suddenly bumped into the source of the mud. Some greasy-looking root hung beneath Uther's bed and as his face came into contact with it he knew for certain it was the source of that magic.
The footsteps of the visitor came closer. A woman, not a knight nor Arthur. The woman reached beneath the bed and grasped hold of the root without ever visually searching for it. Merlin held in a gasp as he realised at once that this woman must have put it there. He scooted to the other side, knowing he would catch sight of the culprit's face.
His heart sank, his body stiffened.
It was Morgana.
What did this mean? Was the root some sort of healing magic she was trying? Or – his heart clenched uncomfortably – had she caused Uther's illness?
Merlin slipped out of the room quietly behind her. Something stopped him from confronting her and instead he followed her at a distance through the castle, she did not turn for her chambers but took another route along passages Merlin knew were not often used.
He couldn't imagine where she was going but as they exited the castle it was soon clear that she was intent on getting outside the city. Merlin had kept out of sight and yet there was one moment where she stopped. Sensing that she was being watched. He kicked himself for not realising that her magic may give her an edge but at last, she moved on seemingly unconcerned.
She continued into the darkling woods. They were a fair distance from the castle now. She stopped and seemed to be waiting for someone. Merlin's fears were increasing, who was Morgana meeting, what was she doing? As he wondered he was reminded that his future self had bid him to keep her loyal to Arthur and to Camelot for both sakes. He must tread carefully . . . unless it was already too late. Merlin hid behind a fallen log, observing her. She looked at the moon, seeming to judge the time but at last she spoke never turning his way. "Why are you following me, Merlin?"
He was discovered, there was no point hiding, he stood up as she turned and faced him. He didn't answer her and asked her a question instead. "What are you doing to the king?" He winced at himself. Being confrontational was not treading carefully but Morgana did not seem provoked.
"Nothing he doesn't deserve," she said coldly.
Merlin was taken aback, her answer seemed to indicate harmful intent and she wasn't even trying to hide it.
Morgana folded her arms. "It has to be done and no one else can . . . or will." She spoke firmly but there was a note of sadness, "if it comes at the price of our friendship or Arthur's then so be it."
Her words alarmed Merlin. The future Merlin had warned him that Albion would need Morgana and in spite of the many misgivings he'd had about his counterpart on this account he did not wish to test him. Merlin could not let a divide occur between her and Arthur. "You haven't lost my friendship Morgana, or Arthur's. We can work this out, whatever you are doing. I know we can."
Her hands came together in a worried clasp, the eyes which earlier had begged something of him were now guarded. She was about to say something then something her attention in the distance. "Hide Merlin! Hide and stay silent. I will explain later."
Merlin dove back towards the fallen log but he positioned himself so that he could see.
Morgause arrived, Merlin was not surprised. He'd almost known it was going to be her that Morgana was meeting. He watched as the blonde sorceress held her hands out and greeted Morgana. "Sorry, you had to wait. There was much to discuss."
Morgana appeared anxious as she responded. "But your visit was successful?"
Morgause nodded, "Indeed, Cendred had heard the rumours about Uther and he does see Camelot as weak but he is not yet willing to risk his army against the citadel that has proven impregnable."
"Good. You are sure?" Morgana confirmed.
Morgause made a slight concession with her head, "one can never be quite certain with Cendred but though I am loathed to admit it, Cendred is bold and cunning but not reckless. Nonetheless, I do have a certain sway."
"There is nothing you cannot do," Morgana smiled and Merlin was struck by the closeness that had developed between the two women.
"It is you that gives me strength, sister," Morgause responded genuinely. "How goes the battle for Uther's mind?"
"It is a kingdom in need of a leader," Morgana said simply.
Merlin frowned. Was that their plan? Were Morgause and Morgana planning to take over Camelot? This could get messy and difficult but at least they'd kept Cendred out of the way. He listened intently as Morgana continued, feeling a pang of anger at her betrayal as her face turned slightly in his direction.
"Soon," she said, "the council will pressure Arthur and he will take his place as King. Then our kind will have a chance at peace."
Merlin bit his lip. He'd been wrong. This was very unexpected.
"Perhaps," Morgause responded to Morgana, her tone cautious.
"You still think otherwise?" Morgana asked.
"I will reserve my judgement for the sake of Arthur's mother and for the words you spoke to me."
"I wonder about her sometimes," Morgana sounded worried, "what my other self had seen. I wish I could have spoken to her but then I'm frighted of what she might tell me."
Merlin had been silent until that moment but he could not stop the involuntary gasp as he heard Morgana's words and remembered that his future self had come here with another! That person had evidently been a future Morgana. He belatedly put his hand over his mouth and sunk lower to the ground.
"Who is there?" Morgause said sharply. "Show yourself!"
Exposed for a second time, Merlin sighed as he took to his feet.
"Do not be alarmed sister," Morgana stepped in front of him. "It is Merlin, Arthur's servant. He has been a friend to me. I have spoken of him before." She said meaningfully.
Merlin saw a look pass between the women, Morgause frowned slightly and he sensed some reluctant understanding but he did not know what it meant.
"You knew he was here," Morgause said after a moment.
"I did," Morgana admitted and another look was given to Morgause. This time Merlin was certain it was some kind of plea not to say something or a warning not to.
Morgause moved slightly, keeping her eyes entirely on Merlin. Her lips remained immobile but her mind began to speak. "Is he aware of our plans?"
"I do not know," Morgana responded in kind.
It took Merlin a moment to realise that Morgause and Morgana were speaking mind to mind in the same fashion as the druids. They thought their conversation was private. They had no way of knowing that he could hear them and he had no intention of giving away that advantage.
"Even if he does not we cannot let him return to Camelot," Morgause said, "he has seen us meeting he will surely tell someone."
"I think we can trust him. He has no love of Uther, perhaps if I explain -"
"No, Morgana. I know your feelings on this matter but we can not leave this to chance. I will keep him here, safe until all is resolved."
Morgana looked ready to relent to this logic and Merlin knew he had to do something to prevent this. He could not be detained by Morgause and leave Arthur in the kingdom to sort out whatever was to come. Merlin was not convinced Morgause's intentions were noble or to be trusted and Uther's madness could easily have consequences within the kingdom in regard to strife. Arthur would be a prime target for anyone wanting the throne in such uncertain times. Merlin thought fast. He remembered his initial reaction at finding the root and it came to him.
"Miladies," he bowed, his next words were careful, constructed to ensure they had no suspicions over his ability to hear their thoughts. "You seem to be lost for words but I think I understand your dilemma."
"You do, do you?" Morgause said imperiously.
He affected his most guileless voice. "You've been creating some kind of magic healing root for the king right? To help his condition. You don't have to worry that I'll tell anyone you're using magic. I've kept Morgana's secret. You can trust me."
"How did you know about the root?" Morgana was startled. Apparently, she'd only been aware that he was following her.
"I heard it drip, I saw it under Uther's bed and . . ." he trailed deliberately as if reluctant to divulge this, "I saw you take it."
Morgause had snapped to attention, fire was in her eyes. For her faults, Merlin could not deny she seemed protective of Morgana.
The high priestess leant forward menacingly. "Who did you tell about this?"
"No one," he answered honestly. "I was going to ask Morgana about it. I thought maybe I could help."
Morgause gave him a hard, shrewd look before returning focusing back on Morgana. Once again the priestess used her mind to speak to Morgana. "Do you believe him?"
Morgana shifted slightly, her manner was uneasy and for a moment Merlin feared she had seen through him. At last, she spoke, "Merlin does love to help."
It wasn't really an answer and Merlin thought for a moment he detected irritation.
Morgana continued and the tone, if it had been there at all was gone. "His absence will be noticed and may raise alarms. Let him go with me. If something goes wrong I can handle it."
Morgause did not look convinced but after a moment she nodded. "Very well. He shall go with you but you must promise to call to me if there is any sign of trouble."
"I will."
Morgause turned her attention back to Merlin and addressed him aloud. "Morgana is trusting you a great deal. If you betray her, you will regret it, I promise you. I do not take kindly to those who harm my own but if you can give me your word I will accept it."
Merlin hesitated. He knew he would have to abide by any promise he made not because of any consequences or threats but because that was the kind of man he was. "I promise I will not betray Morgana's secret."
Morgause eyed him. Morgana looked away.
"We must prepare the healing root," she said smoothly, " we will return shortly. Guards, watch this servant until we return." From the shadows came men silently who stood either side of him. Morgana and Morgause headed up the hill.
Merlin was glad of the reprieve, he had time to think now. He had discovered a great deal in such a short time. Contrary to what had been said to him Morgana and Morgause appeared to be sending Uther mad with their root with the intention of pressuring Arthur to take the throne. Merlin couldn't help but remember the words of his other self, that Arthur's legacy would come from what happened. Arthur would not want it to begin this way and if he found out Morgana had used magic to wound or kill Uther he would never accept that sorcery could be used for good. It could set him against magic forever and it would surely drive a wedge between Arthur and Morgana – something else Merlin's future counterpart had warned about.
That reminded Merlin that he'd also learned that Morgana had lived in the alternate timeline even though he'd thought she'd been poisoned. What's more, the future Morgana seemed to have joined with his future self in returning to this time and had spoken to Morgause. He didn't know what to make of that at all.
He'd already had misgivings about trusting his future self and now it seemed there was even more to consider. Right now though, he had to contend with what to do about Morgana enchanting Uther. He'd just made a promise to keep her secret and he would do that. He'd made no promise about interfering with her plans. Merlin knew betraying Morgana would set both women against him but, he believed, not against Arthur. Arthur too, would have to be kept well out of the way, he must not find out what Morgana had done. Arthur and Morgana must remain allies in order for Albion to have a chance, nothing must jeopardise it. Morgana's friendship with Arthur must be safeguarded but, Merlin realised sadly, not the friendship with himself. He must be the villain so that he could save Arthur from a legacy that he would not be able to live with. Merlin would lose Morgana's trust but at least she would remain loyal to Camelot and Arthur. That he would count on.
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Authors Note : I hope I'm writing clearly enough that we are having a slight divergence in actions of the characters and their motivations, fears and emotions from where they were in the show based on Morgana not being poisoned – I really wanted it to feel like an organic change that will differ as more and more things happen. I won't be covering every episode of the show from this point in the timeline as I really want to make this story its own unique telling but when I do cover aspects I intend to give other off-screen characters scenes and points of view so that we're not rehashing things we've already seen. I did feel this one episode definitely HAD to be covered and was inevitably going to have some retelling until we diverged a little more and a little more. I hope to update again soon but I'm very, very busy. Promise though that we'll get there. Thanks for favouriting, reviewing, following or just enjoying my story.