And just like that, we're back at it again!
Hello all of my lovely fanfic addicts, it feels good to be in the good ol' grind of writing as if my life depends on it. I swear, there is just no better feeling.
This next installment, as it sits now, could turn out to be quite long so I think I'll keep it as shorter parts to keep the updates coming. From the reviews, I gather that most all of you would prefer that over longer installments updated months apart. It may be another three-parter, or a four-parter, and after this, I will simply have to return to my own novel for a little while. I've only finished part one, and if I'm ever going to get published part two must at least be in the works.
I will continue to post more updates as I progress and – I'll say it again – I am just over the moon with how much support I've gotten through writing this fanfic. Honestly, give yourselves a nice round of applause because that's amazing, you're all amazing. And now, before I start to ramble and gush with feelings, I give you Excerpts of Time, the beginning of Installment Four.
Follow the Sun, Excerpts of Time
Installment 4; Part 1
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How long had it been?
Nearly compelled to take her sandals off, Sakura yearned to sink her toes into the dusty beginnings of the desert, to feel the heat of the sand on her skin once again. She breathed deeply, noting that the air had even lost the dampness that the deep forest held, the mustiness that seeped from the trees and permeated the air like a fragrant cologne. It was dryer now, the scent on the wind carrying a hot, earthy tone that beckoned her ever onward.
Too long, it had simply been too long.
With her pack slung over her shoulder, a less cumbersome pack than she was used to traveling with, she set off from the scattered trees and toward the desert beyond. She had a few essentials with her but did not carry her usual allotment of knives and first aid, nor did she have her sleeping pack with her. Instead, the bag was filled with a few day's spare clothes, some feminine essentials, and little else. This was not a mission that she journeyed for, there were no bandits to stop or people to save, not this time.
She had left Konoha with a pace that she had meant to keep leisurely but it soon evolved into a quick-footed race against the sun. How soon could she make it? Did she need to stop at the inn for the night? She had reservations, her parents had been kind enough to set her up with a room, but did she need it? No, she needed the desert, she needed the warmth of the glaring sun, and there was another promised bed awaiting her there.
Stopping by the inn for a quick shower in her room and a chance to change clothes, she had written a letter to her friend while she helped herself to some warm tea and a complimentary meal. She had told Temari that she would be traveling through the night, hopefully arriving half a day or so earlier than planned, and sent it off with a raven ahead of her. After resting her feet and giving away the remainder of her reservation, she had started off again for Suna.
That had been the night before, and she decided on keeping her short stop to herself once she returned home.
Don't travel the roads alone at night, her father had warned, it can be dangerous without your team.
She knew that, of course, but she also knew that she packed one of the biggest punches in her class. Not only that, but she was sure she could stunt most any man to try a hand at her. Their fearsome leader hadn't chosen her as an apprentice for no reason, after all.
The sun was high in the sky, it was a warmer afternoon than had recently graced her in the forest, and she was able to expect a warm stroll through the sands. If she kept a good pace and didn't wander off trail, she planned to make it to the desert city by nightfall. It would be colder then, and she didn't fancy a night in the open sands as she did one sleeping in the trees. There was a lot of exposure out here, the shifting dunes hid many things, proper paths included, and she was keen not to stay out on her own for too long.
Soon, the scarcity of trees turned into a complete absence of them, the dried shrubs along the ground began to dwindle as well, and tufts of grass were left behind as quickly as they had come. Before long, Sakura had wandered into another world, an alien landscape, and she embraced the windswept land before her with a refreshed eagerness.
Yes, she thought as she started off into the winding dunes, it's been far too long.
…
"Gaara?" Temari exclaimed, batting away the remnants of sand left swarming in the air. "You're already done?"
"Hm," he muttered with a nod, his goggles pressing uncomfortably against his face. He scratched some sand from his scalp, pulling his hood down as he did.
Temari stood with her team, they were preparing for their scheduled round out from the city, and Gaara's sudden arrival was, as it always seemed to be, abrupt and unexpected amongst them all. Temari nodded to him, always impressed with how quickly Gaara was able to finish his solo duties when not encumbered by a team, or even by herself or their brother. "Good," she said, a lighter tone to her voice this time.
Gaara removed the goggles from his face, unwrapping his scarf as well, and gave the bridge of his nose a well-deserved rub. The day had already proven to be long, as it started with training Matsuri – she hadn't been free for long, having prior engagements she had said, things he wouldn't keep her from – and continued with going out into the country for long distance rounds west of the city. Boring and uneventful, feeling as though it took much longer than it actually had. It wasn't even time for lunch yet, though he thought of taking an early one if Temari had nothing else for him.
"I've got a favor to ask."
Damn.
He swallowed his words and glanced over to his sister.
"Could you go and meet Sakura?" she asked, her voice so expectant of him.
Gaara drew his brow in confusion. "That's tomorrow," he clarified, turning to fully face her now that she'd caught his interest.
Temari shook her head with a roll of her eyes. "I must've forgotten to tell you. I got a letter last night from the inn she was supposed to stay at."
Supposed to?
"She decided to travel through the night instead, must be close to the border by now."
Gaara nodded, thinking back to how long it would have taken her to get from the inn within her countries borders to the barrier of the desert. If she had skipped a rest for the night than she could very well be in their country already.
"You'll have no problem finding her, right?"
"No," he answered quickly, resisting the urge to crack his knuckles. A nervous tick, Kankuro had likened it to, and people are starting to notice. "Not at all."
Temari smiled. "Good," she said, turning a quick glance to her team to be sure they were still gathering their necessities. "I won't be back from rounds in time to go out and meet her, you'll make sure she gets back okay?" she asked as her gaze fell back on her brother. "I'd hate for her to get lost again."
Gaara nodded, already turning away from the party gathered behind his sister. "She won't," he assured, knowing very well that with proper direction Sakura could find her way anywhere, but still, he would be there to be sure.
"Thanks!" Temari called out as a misty shroud of sand rose along the ground after him. "See you when you get back."
Absentmindedly checking the canteen attached at his hip, he determined it felt heavy enough and brought his scarf back up around his face. For a moment as he waved a hand back at his sister, Gaara was one foot in their world and one foot in his. Then the sand took him, opening up so freely and so simply for him as it had always done, and he was gone. To his sister and her gathered squad, there was nothing but a quiet emptiness from where he had been, and indeed he was already long gone. Temari had asked him once, what the desert felt like to him in moments such as these, and he couldn't think of any one proper way to describe it. At times it was a feeling of singularity amidst a vast and unsympathetic being. Other times it felt comforting and securing, the only home he'd known for far too long. When collapsed into it as he was, it was as if the whole desert opened to him, endless in its bountiful potential to be anywhere, and yet…
Quickly materializing a few miles outside the eastern gates, with nothing but the open desert surrounding him, Gaara popped a few nervous knuckles. Perhaps his brother was right, perhaps it was simply a nervous tick now. He paused a moment, the wind whistling softly over the dunes, and cursed. His damn hands felt sweaty, his tongue even felt tight in his throat. Again, his hand went absentmindedly to his side, to the lower pocket on his gourd's strap that safely carried her latest note, a promise of three little words.
He exhaled a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. "That's tomorrow…" he mumbled as if the words could rectify the reality.
Swallowing that bothersome tightness to his throat, he stepped back out into the sands, taking a few paces in the open air to clear his head.
They hadn't parted well last time they met and, in light of that, Gaara was starting to notice an unwelcome pattern in development. It had been hard enough trying to comfort her after the desertion of Sasuke, and their mission prior to that had left them little time for goodbyes as he would have had them, but he felt a fool for his most recent performance. His own tongue tasted bitter when he thought of what transpired between them, she'd been flustered because of him, roused into an angry upset all because he'd been so worried, and indeed he had been worried. But, as the days went on, her absolute confidence in herself, and in him, had dulled the edges those memories and he found it difficult to remember anything but how she had selflessly risked herself for him.
And he'd yelled at her.
Again, he cursed. He was supposed to have another day to think about this, to figure out what to say to her, but here she was, out and about in his desert again.
Gaara relented and called up his sand, whether she knew it or not, she was waiting for him, he would decide on his words then. The grains of the dunes shifted underfoot and followed up after his quick pace, once more swallowing him into the depth of their grasp.
Eastward he went, able to navigate his way better than even the most seasoned nomadic traveler, skilled though they were. He had his markers out here, his beacons that reflected the echoes of his essence rippling out from him, there was the thumping of life as well; the movement of the nomadic convoys were always a hint as to where he was depending on the time of year, and the steadfast pathway of outposts was quite an easy map to follow. Soon they wouldn't matter, though, he wouldn't need them to navigate once the feel of her finally broke through the background.
Soon, Gaara thought, a strange mixture of eager trepidation overcoming him. I promise.
…
If she had been anyone else, she might have been surprised.
To the untrained eye, it seemed as if a sudden dust devil had whipped up not ten paces ahead, the wind to cause it all together random and fleeting, leaving only a man standing in its wake. Sakura bit the inside of her lip, her eyes fixed on the face hidden behind the wrapping of a scarf, the pace of her heart now feeling hard in her chest. Gaara paused a moment as if to gauge her upon his arrival – taking immediate note of the rather expectant look on her face – and stepped forward, drawing the scarf from around his face.
Of course, she'd been expecting him. At least…for the last mile or so. Truthfully, she expected to make her way to the nearest outpost by herself, intent on grabbing more water and ensuring her path before starting off again. But a certain heaviness had taken to the air, a static that seemed to gather between the hairs on her arms, and she felt well versed in this power now. It was no alien sensation anymore, it was Gaara, and here he stood to prove her right.
Gaara stopped a few paces away from her, his lips sewn shut and his mouth suddenly dry as he took her in. She had a rosy tint to her cheeks and a blushing across her shoulders as well…they shouldn't have been bare…and the belt slung loosely around her waist also seemed lacking.
"You'll get sunburn like that," he mentioned, deciding it the best he could manage for a greeting.
Sakura shrugged, her inner lip slipping from her tooth to let forth a small grin. "Perhaps," she sighed, looking over the once paler skin of her arms. "It just gets so hot."
Gaara nodded his head once, taking another step forward as he did. "You must get used to it, it's not as bad as you think."
Sakura seemed to dismiss this, her gaze stayed low and her eyes seemed evasive. She touched her canteen while looking plainly at his. "Would yours be any cooler?" she asked.
"I've been out all morning," he explained, wishing now that he had freshened his water before heading out. "It's no better than yours."
Nodding, Sakura took a drink and poured a little into her hands to run across the back of her neck and over her brow. There was a quiet bit of time that passed between them, and she glanced up to find him looking at her with a very scrutinizing gaze. "Hi, Gaara," she said, finally giving him a proper greeting.
"Hello," he replied. The greeting was more so like a snide remark as it sounded, to Sakura at least, and he quickly moved on from it. "You need more supplies, Sakura."
"This isn't a mission," she explained, her feet moving again and taking her onward down her path. She approached Gaara and he readily kept pace at her side. Glancing over at him just quickly enough, she'd wondered if he'd been as tall last time she saw him. She was sure he'd added half an inch or so, but never thought it would actually make him look, well…different.
"I know," he said in response, a little quirk to his face as he mulled over her words. Had he ever traveled for the sake of leisure, even once? No, he was sure he hadn't. "But the road –"
"Is a dangerous place," Sakura sighed, quoting her father as his voice rung so freshly in her mind. She shook her head, tucking some hair behind her ear and away from the soft breeze. "I got here just fine, through the night and everything."
"I knew you would," Gaara said, feeling compelled to clarify. "But out here, the road itself can be your enemy. You mustn't let it have the upper hand."
"The upper hand?" she repeated, her eyes swiveling up to his for a moment, catching his gaze before looking off to the open dunes again.
Gaara nodded, falling back half a step to observe the way her shoulders gathered around her neck and the heaviness to her steps. "Sunburn and dehydration are no passing inconveniences out here, you know this."
Oh, yes, she did. There were still nights that she would dream of the desert, recollections of being lost in its endless mess of dunes and mirages. Even in her dreams the air still burned her lungs, the sun still blistered her skin, and she always woke parched beyond belief. But in the cooler light of day she remembered only the enchantment she had felt within the safety of the city, the colors that danced across a virgin sky and the promises she'd been given to see even more.
"Well," she sighed, meeting his eyes again. "Good thing you came along."
Gaara didn't know what to say. Did she mean now? Or was she eluding to her last rendezvous through the desert she'd taken? Either way, she was right, he was here and she would meet no ill intent from either friend, foe, or even the ground on which they walked while he was. "Temari told me to come," he admitted, both to this occasion as well as the last. "I thought you would arrive tomorrow."
Sakura paused a moment, now that they'd said their hellos and she had him alone. Gaara thought to ask if she'd even heard him. "I've been meaning to say something," she said quietly, her fingers fussing with the strap on her pack. "About the other week, with Matsuri getting taken and all that…you were right."
"What do you mean?" he asked, not at all trusting himself with an interpretation of her thoughts.
Sakura drew her lip between her teeth and looked on ahead as if the awaiting road offered answers for her. "Well…okay, Tsunade wasn't happy when the mission report was finalized and submitted." Gaara hesitated to nod. The success of that mission hadn't been welcome news to some on Suna's own council, they had hoped he would simply perish if his memory served him well enough. "And basically," she said, stopping in her tracks as Gaara stopped alongside her. She looked up at him, a conflicted and barely suppressed acceptance in her eyes. "You were right, I shouldn't have done what I did. It was foolhardy and could have been dangerous."
"It was dangerous," he clarified. "But," he began again. "I couldn't have finished it without you."
For a flicker of a moment, she fought a smile from overcoming her lips and resigned to shake her head. "You could have," she said, a softer tone to her voice, a tone of certainty. "But when I got back," she began to explain. "Tsunade sat me down and went over the steps of our protocol. We have rules and stipulations in place to protect our people in battle, rules that have been implemented, reconsidered, and changed all for the sake of fulfillment of the mission and lowering every possibility of mortality on the job." She paused a moment, a slow breath taken through her nose, a very clearly hurt pride trying to remain undeterred. "I wasn't in charge, I didn't listen to my squad leader, and you're right, what I did was dangerous."
Gaara watched her silently, unjudging, just observing how she held herself, how she spoke, how the tone of her voice sounded more so directed at herself than at him. He thought so, at least.
"As a medical ninja," Sakura continued. "I have a duty to everyone, and a large part of that is keeping myself safe and capable of doing my job even when everyone else is at their limits."
Gaara wasn't so convinced that these were Sakura's words, they sounded like things she might say, but it all looked like she was reading from a script he couldn't see.
"What I did was foolish and unwise for the sake of the team, I see that now. I'm sorry for putting you in the middle of it." She quieted, her gaze was still low and clearly avoiding his as she continued to fiddle with the buckles on her pack's straps.
Gaara thought over her words, trying to picture what had awaited her after being called into her mentor's office for a bout of scolding. It seemed she was far more prideful than she intended to let on, and there were some clear wounds to that pride that hadn't all healed yet. "They just want you to be safe," he offered, knowing very well how incredibly unsafe he could be at times. "They can't risk losing all of your potential."
She nodded at this, but her face didn't lift at all.
"So," Gaara started, his voice a little more awkward than it had been just a moment ago. "Is that why this isn't a mission?" he asked.
"Yeah," she sighed, her feet moving off yet again as if the spot in which she stood had turned sour from her own words. "I needed a break."
"Anything you want to talk about?" he offered again. "My letters from you always seem lacking when stacked up to Temari's."
She shrugged, knowing full well that she divulged more of her personal thoughts and feelings to Temari than she did to Gaara, she had always figured he'd find out from his sister anyway. "I've been doing well, very well, but it can be a lot. There's all the studying, the physical training, the practicing for my medical training, and, oh!" she exclaimed. "Just tons of tests," she said with a bite to her words. "It all costs money and it all piles up so quickly. Naruto and Sasuke are gone, I'm not making any income through doing team missions anymore, and to be honest I didn't think I'd miss him as much as I do."
"Sasuke?" he asked, the name flying from his lips before he could think better of it.
Sakura shook her head, a little sheepishly as it were. "I was talking about Naruto. But, yeah, I miss him too. Naruto was just so good at taking your stress away, he was like a magnet for it and the other guys are great, but…Naruto was my teammate, it's different with him."
Gaara paused before he spoke again, feeling that his curiosity would simply get the better of him if he tried otherwise, so he relented to give in. "What about Sasuke?" he asked, the name burning his tongue as he spoke. Sakura perked her head up and looked to him. "You had said you loved him."
Very quickly, she found herself with heat on her cheeks, the words she'd so desperately spewed to the air once again making their rounds in her head. "I know," she admitted, her voice a little coy now. "And I do. Just," she paused, not really noticing the breath that Gaara had yet to release. "Just not like I said I did."
Gaara exhaled and swallowed. "Would things be different if he was still around?" he asked, feeling a little better of his chosen line of questioning now.
Sakura laughed, it was a short and awkward sort of thing, but it was a laugh nonetheless and Gaara thought better of her mood then as well. "It's hard to say, he was never really the sympathetic type. I doubt I'd get much comfort from him, no matter the stress, I'm sure."
Gaara nodded, thinking over his own attempts at lessening the strain she felt, wondering how he might stack up to the man in that regard. "It sounds like the last few weeks have been stressful," he said, settling on the fact rather quickly.
Sakura nodded, the knots in her shoulders and the tension that would gather in her throat were products of that stress that she found impossible to ignore. Just last week, only a few short days before she was to leave for the desert, she'd had to excuse herself from one of her tests. Sitting alone in the bathroom, she tried to keep those hot and angry tears from breaking the boundary of her lashes with little success. So suddenly that stress had built up in her, all over a question on her exam. Maybe she was distracted, or maybe she couldn't think straight, or perhaps she just didn't know the answer to it, but it had felt like a fault in the perfection of her academics that nearly had her a mess. It wasn't really about the test, she knew that, but it had been the final drop to break the dam and she'd been fighting those waters ever since.
Even now, her throat felt tight at the thought of it, that stress continued to coil unpleasantly around her gut. "Yeah," she said softly, worried the catch in her throat could be heard. "It has."
Gaara chose his next words carefully, the tone of her voice and the tension in her shoulders very clear to him now. "We don't have to walk back," he said. "If you don't want to."
Sakura looked over to him, a sort of hopefulness she almost tried to hide. "I didn't want to assume…"
Gaara shook his head. "It's no problem," he assured, reaching out his hand only to brush the backs of his fingers against her arm, a small gesture that successfully halted her tracks and turned her to fully face him. "I don't mind."
She seemed to shed some unseen weight just then, as if the promises of his abilities lessened some of the tension she carried, and he was glad to see it. "Will Temari be there?" she asked.
"No," he answered. "She's out with her squad. We could go for lunch in the meantime, I bet you're hungry."
Sakura nodded, the growing hunger in her belly causing an almost eager approach to him. "I'd like that," she said, a few grains of sand lifting from the ground at her feet as Gaara opened an arm toward her.
She stepped up next to him, a strange sort of twitch lingering where he'd first grazed her waist with his touch. She willed her heart to settle as best she could, the entrance to Gaara's world was always thrilling, but she used to it by now, wasn't she? Looking out at the sand around them, floating so gracefully on the wind, untethered by worldly bounds, Sakura moved in close to Gaara.
But that's all she did, Gaara noted, she just moved closer. She did not lean into him, she did not give him any portion of her weight to carry though he would have done so gladly, and he could feel that she wasn't at all relaxed. Her shoulders were high and tense, like a barrier between them that hadn't been there before, and she felt stiff under his hand as if determined to stand on her own. Suddenly, having an arm around her felt awkward, as if presumptuous and…and wrong.
But the sand drew in closer, an addictive sort of buzzing accompanying the way that it would so gently break her apart and carry her off, and then she did lean into him. For comfort, for protection, or perhaps even for a bit of security, he didn't know. He tightened his grip on her, welcoming the weight she did eventually press against him, but still, the stiffness between them remained.
He thought back to her speech earlier, so clearly rehearsed and repeated, and wondered what she might have redacted. Most likely she'd been told that she had gotten too close to him, too close to the danger he'd only barely kept in check, and had probably been warned against doing so again. That's what this was, he was sure, as there was an evident distance to her now, an evasiveness even as she stood there next to him.
It didn't matter, he decided, he should have been expecting it anyway. All that mattered was that she was here, she was back and she was glad to be.
His siblings had managed to catch a break from training and their usual runs for Sakura's stay, they'd planned for three days off of duties, but Gaara had chosen to forgo those attempts. He needed to do more, needed to try harder to repair the rifts in his ties with his people, and he felt sure he would see her plenty often during her stay.
But now that he'd seen her, once again so perfectly silhouetted against the backdrop of his desert, three days didn't seem like such a long time.
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