One Piece: Strawhat Theater

"Our Mrs. Monkey"

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. One Piece is the property of Toei Animation, Funimation, and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release.

Right after our heros first meet Bellamy and Blackbeard...

On the Going Merry's poop deck, Chopper was tending to Luffy and Zoro's injuries courtesy of Bellamy and his gang. Well, he was trying to tend to Luffy's, but Nami had taken that job so she could berate her husband for his stupidity.

"Really, you just stood there and took it! Where's your pride, they just laughed at me! You stupid moron, what the hell is wrong with you?" Nami growled, swabbing alcohol into a cut on Luffy's neck. The rubber man hissed, but kept smiling.

"It's not so bad Nami, really!"

"Idiot! You're supposed to defend my honor, too! I just asked about Sky Island and they all laughed at me!" Nami snarled, now jabbing the cotton ball into Luffy's neck. The captain winced a bit as Zoro looked on with a deadpan expression.

"I can't help but notice she doesn't seem to care about my pride..." Zoro commented. Usopp sighed and shrugged.

"She probably doesn't," he said. The swordsman stared at the sniper, who smiled a bit.

"Be fair. She's married to him."

"Ah," Zoro said with a sage nod.

"WE ARE NOT REALLY MARRIED!" Nami growled, moving her fingers up to Luffy's cheeks. Zoro sighed.

"Married, not married, make up your mind about it!" Zoro said wearily.

"Kind of feel sorry for the guy, all that grief," Usopp murmured back. Zoro nodded sagely.

"Mm. He has to take it into his own hands, like a man."

"Own hands?" Luffy asked.

"Don't pay attention to them! I'm not done yelling at you!" Nami snarled. Luffy looked up at his wife, and to her hands on his face. He took hold of her wrists, and pulled her hands to his lips. He kissed them, and Nami froze as though shocked.

"W-w-w-w-what was that for?" Nami gasped, trying to pull her hands away. Luffy grinned.

"Your fingers are bruised," he said.

"From dragging you assholes back from the bar, yeah!" Nami growled. Luffy kissed her hands again, and her cheeks became red. "St-Stop that! Why are you doing that?"

"Aren't you supposed to kiss boo boos to make them better?" Luffy asked, almost playfully, as he continued to kiss each finger in turn.

"I don't think that work-" Chopper tried, but he was shushed by Usopp.

"Just watch," the sniper said with a wink. Nami's blush became deeper, as Luffy kissed the backs of her hands.

"No! That's not how that wo- that doesn't-," she stammered out, before huffed. "WILL YOU STOP KISSING MY HANDS? IT'S REALLY DISTRACTING!" She cried.

Memory of what they'd been up to in the room in Vivi's palace came to Luffy's mind. It had been a week since then, and Nami had acted standoffish in the extreme. Frankly, he couldn't find a reason to stop. But he did anyway... He just wrapped his arms around her waist and planted a kiss to her neck.

"I like distracting you," he said, his voice low and-dare she say it?-sensual. Nami trembled, as Luffy continued to kiss up and down her neck. "And I think you like it too," he murmured, teasing her.

Teasing her... He was teasing her... She felt so warm.

"N-no I don't and you're still not... you... so annoying... and... I don't have bruises there..." Nami whispered. She was barely aware that Zoro was ushering Chopper away with a finger to his lips, and he had also dragged Usopp with him despite the sniper's silent protests.

"Yeah, but you like it," Luffy said with a grin up at her. Nami trembled and growled, regaining some control through her anger even as her fingers brushed through his hair.

"I am trying to talk-talk seriously with you, idiot!" Nami growled.

"Yup, and I'm listening," Luffy said, pressing his tongue to the side of her neck and dragging it up to her ear. Nami gasped softly, and her gripping fingers moved to his shoulders.

"N-No you're not!" She hissed, well aware of how warm and solid he felt. He'd pulled her into his lap-When did that happen?-and his hands were sliding down to her rump. She bit back a moan when she felt him grip her bottom. "Mm...! Y-You're doing... That," she whispered.

"What?" Luffy asked.

"T-Touching me," she murmured, and he kissed his way up to her lips. "Mm... Kissing me..."

"Yup," Luffy confirmed, a devious smile on his face and in his eyes, "but I'm still listening."

Must... Do... Something nice... For Sanji for this, Nami thought, as she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Luffy's...

"Nami! Everyone? I'm back!" Robin called. Nami's eyes popped back open, and she shoved Luffy away onto the deck.

"WELCOME BACK!" Nami cried in far too high a pitch. She rushed down the ladder to greet Robin. "How is everything? Don't you look well? What did you buy?"

Luffy sat back up, staring in disbelief at his wife as she hurried Robin below deck. Sanji watched them go... And was unable to resist a smirk.

Serves you right, rubber bastard... I would've had to clean up!

I've decided to go the route of random snippets for this story, as chronological order isn't too difficult for anyone to follow. Enjoy!