One Piece: Strawhat Theater

"Our Mrs. Monkey"

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. One Piece is the property of Toei Animation, Funimation, and Eiichiro Oda. Please support the official release.

Reality intrudes on the Strawhats and Ace.

A somewhat more serious chapter before we return to the Dressrosa Arc.

On the Way to Dressrosa

It had happened so fast. Nami had been tending her mikan trees, and scanned around for Ace. She was supposed to be helping her today.

She caught sight of a black head of hair... Attached to a little girl balancing on the railing like a tightrope walker. As if in slow motion, Nami watched her daughter lose her balance... And fall right into the sea

"ACE!" She screamed. Luffy reacted first from his usual place on the figurehead of the ship, diving into the water after her... And he went right in like a stone. Sanji wasn't too far behind them, as he was on watch, and in moments, the cook had the soaked captain and little girl back on deck. Chopper wrapped them in blankets and checked on them, as Nami ran up.

Luffy was grinning, like always. So was her daughter. She grinned right up at Nami, who felt cold fear and rage in her chest.

"Mommy! I fell in! It was really-!"

Slap.

Her hand lashed out as though on its own. For a second, she wasn't sure what had happened. Ace's head had been rotated to the left, her big eyes wide. Shakily, she held her cheek as it turned red, and looked up at her mother in shock. Confusion. Hurt.

"I told you," Nami managed, between deep breaths, "To never play near the railings of the ship without someone with you. Didn't I tell you that?!"

"M-Mommy-"

"I asked you a question," Nami said, her voice cold in her anger and fear, "What did I tell you?"

"N-Not... Not to play... By the railings-"

"And what were you doing?" Nami demanded. "You were playing on them! You fell in! Your dad can't swim! He fell right in after you! If Sanji wasn't there, you'd have both drowned!"

The deck was horribly silent. Tears poured down Ace's cheeks as she looked up at her mother in utter betrayal.

"Go to your cabin, now!" Nami ordered, pointing at the doors, "You don't come out until dinner and no dessert for a week!"

"M-Mommy-!"

"NOW!"

The little girl ran, bawling loudly as she ran off into the rear superstructure of the ship. Nami kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm her fast beating heart. She stormed off, not looking at anyone else, going right back up to her orange trees.

She tried to find where her place was at. What branch she had been trimming. She angrily cut off the offending branch, and shoved some fertilizer into the soil. Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she did so.

It took a few minutes before she head the pad of Luffy's sandals on the deck. He stopped and sat down on the bench overlooking the grove, not saying a word. She jabbed her trowel into the soil, loosening it up a bit. Her hands shook too badly for her to make much headway though.

Eventually, she gave up, and back away into the bench. She sat down harshly on it, the hot tears still flowing down her face. She felt Luffy's arm wrap around her.

"... I'm sorry," she whispered. "I... I feel like the worst mother in the world-"

"You're not," Luffy said gently. "I mean, she may be growing fast, but she's still young and stupid. She won't get words. Pain's a good teacher. I was really stupid when I was her age... And older, even."

Nami shook her head, not looking his way.

"... You both could have died-"

"We didn't-"

"What happens if you do?" Nami whispered. She shut her eyes tightly. "I... After Hody and everything... After Caesar..."

Nami shook her head.

"I should have... I should have taken her to Cocoyashi Village. Left her behind-"

"That wouldn't have worked," Luffy said gently. Nami looked over at him in shock. He was so calm, and so serious.

"It worked for you-!"

"It worked back then for a couple of reasons, yeah," Luffy nodded, "But I talked to Robin about the Revolutionary Army. She got to know my dad and all. He's been having people look after me for years. He's got people keeping an eye on all our families and friends in East Blue right now."

Nami's eyes widened.

"Are they-?"

"Most attempts on 'em, they don't even know about," Luffy said, leaning forward, "They're really good at the sneaky sneaky thing. Like ninjas."

Luffy grinned briefly at the mention of ninjas, but went back to his serious face.

"But we're too big, Nami. I saw you had bigger boobs and wider hips after two years. Which is great."

Nami flushed and lightly bonked him on the head. He chuckled, and nuzzled her back before going back to serious mode.

"But if I noticed it, so would smarter people. They'd figure out you'd had a baby and go after her anyway. And after my brother... They'd go after her with as much force as possible. They wanna wipe out blood lines or something. It wouldn't work."

Luffy shook his head, and hugged his wife. She hugged him back.

"No... You made the right call," Luffy said, "Yeah, a pirate ship can be dangerous. The Grand Line is super dangerous. But the best place for her is right here, where we can protect her."

Nami sniffled, and held him tightly. His heartbeat was always soothing.

"She's still really weak-"

"We're working on that," Luffy said soothingly. "And yeah, we gotta be more careful and junk, but... Having her along is way better than not. You give me another reason to fulfil my dream. You all do."

Nami sighed, and nuzzled into his broader chest. She stroked the X-shaped scar across it.

"When did you start acting so responsible?"

Luffy groaned, sagging a bit like a punctured accordion.

"Shiiii...! Thinking sucks! I got all you people to do that for me!" He gave her a bright grin.

"But I'll do it for you cause I love you, shishishi..."

Nami kissed him.

"Thanks... That... That means everything to me."

"I know."

Luffy kissed the top of her head.

"Ace will get over it. I promise."

They stayed there, cuddling, for a few hours. It was just so nice to be able to be together, to not say a thing. By and by, Sanji called out dinner time, and the Strawhats assembled in the kitchen and dining room.

Ace stood there, looking miserable. Nami's heart fluttered, but she felt Luffy's hand squeeze hers, and nodded.

"Did you learn your lesson, Ace-chan?" Nami asked.

Ace nodded, eyes downcast. Nami knelt down and wrapped her arms around her daughter, pulling her into a tight hug.

"I only did that because I love you so much," she whispered, "And the idea of losing you is really scary. It's scary to everyone. If we lost you, we'd all be very sad, Ace-chan."

"Uh huh," Ace mumbled, hugging her mother back with a sniffle. Nami stroked her daughter's back and kissed the top of her head. She slowly stood up, Ace holding onto her tightly. Nami smiled and nuzzled her. A little giggle escaped her mouth.

"Now," she said, "Let's go have dinner-"

"DINNER! YAY!" Ace screamed, leaping out of Nami's arms and vaulting herself into her seat. She knocked over Momonosuke, who yelped.

"AH!"

"SORRY MOMO-CHAN!" Ace-chan cried, helping him back onto his seat.

"ACK! HEY!" Momonosuke shouted, struggling. "I CAN SIT BY MYSELF-URK!"

"I'll feed you!"

"No-I can't-Stop-GLURK!"

The sounds of another dinner on the Thousand Sunny alleviated her concerns, and she and her husband joined in.

At breakfast the next morning, Ace-chan looked very concerned at her mother as she came in. Nami sat beside her, and frowned.

"Ace-chan? What's wrong?" Nami asked.

Ace's lower lip wobbled as Luffy sat on the other side of her.

"Mommy... Did you do something bad?"

Nami blinked in confusion.

"What do you mean, did I do something bad? Why?"

Ace grimaced.

"Cause I saw Daddy spanking you last night," Ace said, "Before he shut your cabin door."

Brook's jawbone dropped to the deck. Franky choked back laughter, as did Usopp. Sanji seethed and wailed. Zoro smirked, as Momonosuke and Kine'mon both fainted away with nosebleeds. Chopper blinked in confusion. Robin coughed.

"Ah, uh, um, er," Nami tried.

"No, no!" Luffy laughed, patting his daughter on the head, "Mommy wasn't being bad! We were having-MMPH!"

Robin's hands appeared and gagged Luffy.

"They were playing a game," Robin explained, her voice calm and even but her eyes glaring, "A boring game adults play when they are married. You don't have to worry about anything."

"Yes! Absolutely!" Nami said with an enthusiastic nod. Ace screwed up her face in confusion.

"That doesn't sound very fun," she pouted.

"You'll learn when you're older," Franky stated.

"Or never," Nami hissed.

"MMPH!" Luffy contributed.

Omake: Teachers

Law entered the Thousand Sunny's extensive library. He had wanted to get a look at it since he'd come aboard. Even just glancing at the titles from a distance was intriguing, the sheer depth of knowledge Nico Robin had collected was impressive. She had invited him to join her in study this morning, and he was hardly going to pass that up.

He didn't anticipate that little monkey to be there, sitting on top of some pillows to boost her up to the table. She kicked her legs happily, as she turned and looked over at him.

"Hey Uncle Traffy!"

"Law," he corrected. He frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Lessons!" Acenath said cheerfully. "Robin's teachin' me how to read, write, and rithmetic!"

"I see," Law said with a nod, "That's good."

"You're super smart too, right?" Acenath asked curiously. Law frowned.

"I like to think so."

"Can you teach me something too?" She asked eagerly. Law raised an eyebrow.

"What are you working on?"

"Math," Acenath said. She held up a small chalkboard. "I gots to figure out... Addition and subtraction!"

She pointed to the squiggles of chalk on the tiny board with a pout.

"It's hard!" She wailed.

Law shook his head. He grabbed a piece of paper, and cut it into nine equal pieces with his Devil Fruit power. He set them down in front of the little girl.

"This is very simple, once you understand it visually," he explained. "If I have nine pieces of paper, and I give you..."

He pushed four over to her.

"Four, how many do I now have?"

Ace counted it with her fingers.

"Five!" She said proudly, holding up her hand with the fingers splayed. Law nodded.

"Very good. Give me three back."

Acenath counted them out loud, and pushed them to the Doctor of Death.

"All right, how many do I have?"

"Ummm... Eight!" Acenath pronounced. Law nodded.

"Also good. How many do you have?"

"One!" Acenath giggled. "Thanks! Mommy tried to teach me but she just went into money. That got confusing. What's compound interest, anyway?"

"That's a little advanced for you, I think," Law deadpanned.

"Sorry I'm late," Nico Robin said, a smile in her voice. Law turned around.

"We were supposed to-"

He choked on his tongue. Nico Robin had shown up in an excessively tight white blouse, her huge bra cups tantalizing him through the thin material. She also had on a tight black skirt, perfectly molded to her wide hips, and black stockings on her long legs, held up by high heels. To top the erotic display off... She had donned glasses, and put her elegant hair back up in a bun.

Law did in fact like women. He liked women on a primal level, but the intellectual side of him was so strong that for any woman to grab his attention, she had to stimulate both his mind and his instincts.

And damn him if Nico Robin wasn't doing that perfectly.

She smiled innocently at Law as he gaped at her.

"I know, Law, I am terribly sorry," she said.

"Uncle Traffy was teachin' me math!" Acenath said cheerfully. Robin laughed softly, covering her mouth.

"Was he? That was very nice of him~" she cooed, giving him the most tempting of bedroom eyes, "Perhaps I can... Reward him after class~?"

"Like with candy?" Acenath asked eagerly. Robin bit her lower lip and smiled at Law.

"Something like that~..."

This woman, Law mentally groaned, this damned woman...!

"YAY!"