AN: And we've returned to the action, kinda. I'm also going to start injecting a little bit of humour to make everything a little more light-hearted. It isn't going to take any from the seriousness though so do not worry.
Also, thank you to everyone which favourites and alerts and reviews this fic! You inspire me to keep writing it!
Cat Beats: Same, I cringe whenever characters get impaled or have something stabbed through them, especially in movies. I'd say it's the size of the piercings Pein has in his arms so its quite large.
Warning(s): Language (High), Violence (Mid), Genderbend
…
Wasteland
Red Dawn Arc
Chapter 27
After weeks of being trapped in a cabin, playing babysitter to two teenagers, one of which was actively trying to kill the other and other one that required twenty-hour-seven supervision, Kakuzu had never been happier to receive a mission in his life and a break. However, he knew better than to get too excited, a testimony proven true as a second after Sir Leader told him telepathically of this new mission, he then asked him to bring said brats to the briefing also. Never again would he have any peace and quiet in this organization, he convinced himself.
Sir Leader glanced up from his paperwork which he was painfully hunched over due to his makeshift desk when he heard someone heavily tramping on the stairwell, obviously Kakuzu, followed by a lighter pitter-patter as Zetsu bounced down the steps behind him.
He frowned when noticing a lack of a certain other redheaded party. "Kakuzu, I asked you kindly to bring both Zetsu and Sasori."
"I'll get the little shit out later." Kakuzu grumbled, scratching his stitched cheek with a yawn.
While displeased with this reply, Sir Leader knew better than to butt heads with the elder man; it was like a brick wall fighting another brick wall. Instead, he switched his attention to Zetsu as she seated herself in the metal chair opposite of him, kicking her little legs that hung off it. "Hello, Zetsu."
"Hello, Sir Leader." She replied quietly, golden orbs quickly staring elsewhere in the dark basement to avoid meeting his Rinnegan.
It was something Kakuzu noticed as he delivered a hard flick to the back of her head. "It's rude not to look a person in the eyes while speaking to them, girl."
"It's alright, Kakuzu. I understand my Rinnegan is hard to look at. How is your neck doing? Is it better?"
She rubbed the stinging spot on her skull. "Yes…"
"Are you the one responsible for that ugly thing?" Kakuzu asked, observing the large, black piercing entrenched in the back of Zetsu's neck. He had noticed it earlier but never asked since he didn't think the girl could tell him anyway.
Sir Leader's lips creased into a frown again, feeling personally offended by the comment. "That 'ugly thing' is what preventing Zetsu from having anymore of those episodes you described to me."
Kakuzu's eyebrows flew up to his hairline. "What? How?"
The orange-haired man held up a hand. "The how is not important. Just trust me when I say this. Otherwise, I would not be sending her out on a mission, would I?"
While a bit skeptical, Kakuzu admitted he had a point despite the fact it didn't stop him before. Though this once, just this once, would trust what he said, despite the fact he had a million questions on the how. "Fine. What's our mission?"
"Nothing too complicated; a high-priced bounty from Shimogakure, the capital of the Frostlands." Sir Leader retrieved a file from his "desk" and handed it over Zetsu's head to Kakuzu. "They're having difficulties with a band of highwaymen attacking and robbing their citizens. Due to the war though, their nearest neighbour of Kumo has no shinobi to spare. So, they've contacted us instead."
Kakuzu thumbed through the paperwork, glancing over the wanted pictures of the members of this little gang and descriptions including their leader. Each one of them had a face only a mother could love but nothing else noteworthy to them as they were civilian criminals, not shinobi. "Should be easy." He said this, but he knew it wouldn't be because something would go wrong; it always went wrong nowadays.
"It should be, and the pay is excellent too. Shimo has agreed to pay us the bounty of every member taken out. If you eliminate all their members, then it should be a fat paycheck for the Akatsuki."
It was too good to be true, so the brunet didn't get himself too optimistic. "Alright, when do we leave? Immediately?"
"Please do."
Kakuzu nudged Zetsu, who had been daydreaming while the two adults spoke, for her to stand up and the two left the office. Once on the ground floor, he sent her back to his bedroom to get herself ready, so they could leave. Once Zetsu walked off to do so, now came the fun part: getting Sasori out of his room. Kakuzu started by punching his fist against the closed bedroom door in which an answer came immediately.
"The fuck you want?" Sasori's obnoxious voice screamed from inside.
"Get out here, boy. We have a mission."
"Fuck off! I ain't goin' anywhere."
No one could say Kakuzu didn't try to talk to the kid first. Stepping back, he delivered a hard kick against the door, sending it flying into the room as the flimsy duct tape holding it in the frame gave out instantly.
"What the fuck!?" Sasori shrieked as the older man stepped into the room. Now inside, he was able to perceive firsthand the destruction the teenager had dealt to the bedroom.
The wallpaper plastered to the walls was shredded and the wooden panels underneath were splintered and broken, exposing the insulation hidden inside. The broken window had a blanket hanging over it and the floor was cluttered with torn fabric that was once Zetsu's clothes and the corpses of murdered plushies. The dresser was gone, and mattress deprived of its bed frame, but a slapdash desk pushed in the corner might explain what happened to them. Sasori was seated at it and on it, was the skeletal frame of a puppet and head. Kakuzu recognized the hideous mug of Hiruko staring at him with its dagger-staring eyes. If he had purchased this cabin instead having stolen it, he would've been outraged seeing what the brat did to this room. Instead, he just questioned how anyone could live in such wreckage.
"Get the fuck out!" Sasori kept yelling, standing up in a threatening gesture that lost its intimidation factor when he visibly cringed and cradled his prosthetic knee; where it was screwed into the leg was noticeably inflamed and red.
"No, you get fucking dressed." Kakuzu countered, stepping up on the teenager and minimizing him with his much larger size. "You're going on this mission, even if I have to drag you out in your damn underwear." He pointed at the boy who currently was dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers.
"I ain't doin' anythin' for this fuckin' place!"
"You should've told Sir Leader that instead of agreeing to be a member then."
"I was blackmailed!"
"I wouldn't say blackmailed so much as given a choice between life and death."
Sasori's wet face went red, or redder rather, as scowled at him, gritting his teeth to the point of breaking. "Fuck you, you ol' bastard."
"Do not think I am any happier about this than you are. If I had the choice, I would've sold you off in a heartbeat. The only value you have to this organization is with your death. Now get dressed. Otherwise, I'll have to keep my promise."
With that, Kakuzu turned and walked out of the room, surprised when the redhead didn't try and stab him in the back on his way out. He returned to his room where Zetsu was, having gotten dressed like told and was seated on the floor, loading up her pink backpack as she wrestled with getting her dictionary inside it.
"Put on a jacket, girl. We're going to the Frostlands and so it'll be cold." He told her, turning to fetch his trench coat from the closet.
"Umm…" He heard her mumble. "No jacket."
He turned to look at her, lips turned in a frown and eyebrows crinkled as he couldn't understand what she meant. She had a jacket, that ugly pink one he couldn't not remember as its offensively bright colour was permanently burned into his brain. Or rather, she had that jacket. If it was in her room, it was probably ripped to shreds now by Sasori. Because of him, Konan had to purchase Zetsu a new wardrobe of secondhand clothes with their dwindling funds, but she mustn't have gotten around to buying her a coat also despite it getting near the colder months of the year.
Turning back to the closet, he decided to see if there was something he could give her from the selection of clothing left behind from the original "departed" owner of the cabin. He didn't want her whining through the entire mission that she was cold. In the back, he managed to find a camouflage hunting jacket. It was sized to fit an adult male though, too big for her little body but it was better than nothing.
"Here, put this on." He blindly threw the coat over his shoulder which must've hit her as he heard a tiny 'oof', then returned to getting himself readied.
After he tied his bandana around his face and slid his sunglasses on, he turned around to see if Zetsu had gotten the jacket on and upon seeing her, he snorted with an unexpected chuckle. Saying it was too big for her was an understatement; it was huge. The sleeves nearly touched the ground and the jacket itself behaved more like a dress as it hung down to her knees while the hood which was pulled up, bunched over her head and masked her forehead. It was an adorable sight and Kakuzu castigated himself for thinking such a thing.
Instead, he coughed and pocketed the file inside his coat. "Are you ready?"
"Yes, sir." Zetsu said then tried to pick up her backpack, something she had a bit of difficulty with considering her baggy sleeves.
Taking mercy on her, he helped her with getting the bag on her back and then pointed out the door. "Go wait in the living room." She did so without question as she walked out.
Once again, Kakuzu found himself back at Sasori's door, which in that short amount of time, was pushed it back into its frame. When the man tried opening it, something was barricading it on the other side meaning the boy had set up a blockade to keep him out. He wasn't playing with the brat anymore so with little hesitation, he kicked in the door again. This time, it snapped right in half, the two pieces slumping to the floor and revealing the mattress behind it that then fell over.
"Can't you fuckin' knock!?" Sasori howled as Kakuzu welcomed himself in his room again. He was sitting at jerry-rigged desk still but at least gotten himself dressed so he somewhat listened.
"No. We're leaving now so come on." Kakuzu said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.
"Fuck you. I told you I ain't goin' anywhere."
"That wasn't a question…"
Sasori flinched as the larger male suddenly advanced on him and instinctively, he swung his hand, bridging his chakra threads to the remains of Hiruko and resulting in it lunging at Kakuzu. Quickly, he activated his Earth Spear, swatting the emaciated puppet away. It struck the desk and its fragile frame fell apart like a block tower. He then grabbed the front of teenager's dress shirt and hoisted him out of his chair.
Zetsu had been in the living room, sitting on the couch while she waited when Kakuzu walked out of the bedroom with Sasori, kicking and screaming as the man held him in the air by his collar. When the front door was pointed at, she leapt to her feet and opened it, tailing after her custodian as he walked through first. Once outside, Kakuzu cocked back him arm and chucked Sasori, sending him flying through the grassy opening and to the other side. The boy landed hard on his back and writhed, gasping for the breath thrusted from his lungs and cradling his stinging shoulder that housed his puppet arm. Before he could recover, Kakuzu was on him again as he plucked him up off the ground. Setting him down onto his feet, he turned him around before pushing him forward.
"Get walking. We're going to Shimogakure. You should've worn a jacket."
Sasori glared at him over his shoulder, face clammy and cinnamon eyes bloodshot. "Fuck…you…" He panted.
Kakuzu was left unphased by the overused insult as he replied with pushing the boy again until he started walking. He checked that Zetsu was behind him then started walking also to start their lengthy travel from the Riverlands to the Frostlands.
While they walked, Kakuzu kept himself positioned between Sasori and Zetsu with the boy at his front and girl at his back. This was to prevent Sasori from getting to her, but also if the little shit tried to run; both things he did as predicted. When he tried bolting, Kakuzu easily ejected his hand and snatched him before he got too far and when he attempted bulldozing his way through the man to get to Zetsu, that was met with a quick kick to the stomach that successfully downed him. If anything, he gave credit to the kid's tenacity because this little game of cat and mouse went on for hours with him trying and failing dozens of times. Eventually though, he figured out that these tactics weren't working out for him and once he did, he switched to plan B: bitching.
"Are we there yet?" Sasori moaned in the loudest and most unpleasant voice ever, like nails on a chalkboard. A few minutes later, he then whined. "I'm cold!"
"No, we are not there yet," Kakuzu grumbled. "And you should've brought a coat."
"You didn't tell me I needed one! Why the hell are we goin' to the Land of Frost for anyway?"
"A mission."
"What mission?"
"Bounties…"
"On who?"
"I don't know! A bunch of highwaymen!?"
"They don't have names?"
"I don't know their names!"
This carried on for the next few hours which involved Sasori whining about everything and anything he could think of, spanning from the weather to the colour of the sky. His goal was to be as obnoxious as possible and pester Kakuzu and by god, it was successful.
Kakuzu felt his eyebrow and the veins in his forehead twitching and he clenched his fists to prevent himself from slugging the brat in the jaw. He knew he was doing this on purpose to wiggle his way underneath his skin in order to provoke him, but it wasn't helping that he already had a short fuse and was actively fighting not to let himself explode and kill the brat. If he did, he would lose his job and he wanted to keep it, somewhat liking it. Though, that testament was being challenged each and every day. Plus, he'd rather not have his head served to Taki on a silver platter.
'I never thought anyone could be more annoying than Zetsu,' He thought, rubbing his temples to banish the headache lurking behind his eyes. 'At least she doesn't do it on purpose like this!'
"I'm hungry," Sasori groaned, glancing behind at Kakuzu for a reaction. When he didn't receive one, he shouted it again, throwing his arms down and stomping his feet like a tantruming child despite the pain that resulted from it. "I said I'm hungry!"
"Fine!" Kakuzu yelled back. "We'll stop and eat!" Maybe if he fed the brat he would shut up for awhile. Besides, he was hungry himself, having skipped breakfast this morning.
Stopping, he withdrew a map from his pocket to figure out where they were; a task made difficult when Sasori stole the opportunity to pounce at Zetsu again and the girl scampered away, resulting in the two teenagers running dizzying circles around the miser. Grabbing Sasori, he threw the boy to the ground and pinned him under his boot in order to buy himself a few seconds to pinpoint their location. The surrounding green wetlands had been replaced by lush woodlands, making him believe they had left the Land of Rivers and were now in the Land of Fire. It would be awhile more until they reached the Land of Frost, but they had to take a break sooner or later, especially now he was lugging two whinging children around. He put away the map after locating an outpost a few miles up ahead where they could have a meal.
A thrashing Sasori was freed and immediately, he lurched at Zetsu who was hiding underneath Kakuzu's arm. She squeaked in fear, burying her face against his hip and Kakuzu easily backhanded the redheaded boy away, sending him falling onto his butt in the dirt, cradling his hurting nose and glaring at the man.
"Quit it, you little shit. Listen, we're going to stop for lunch so quit your bitching!" Kakuzu barked at him, pointing.
Despite his threats, he expected Sasori to blatantly ignore him and go on with his antics. To his surprise, once the brat got back to his feet and dusted himself off, he muttered a quiet "fine" and turned away to resumed limping down the dirt road, leaving behind a rather befuddled Kakuzu as he staring at his departing back. He felt something nudge him and looked down, finding Zetsu who was still using him as a hiding place as she blinked up at him with her large eyes. Sighing, he patted her on the head and kept walking too with the girl tailing him.
The trip to the nearest township was suspiciously silent with Sasori saying nothing and making no more attempts to run or attack. Kakuzu didn't know the hell was up with him all of a sudden but in the little amount of time he had had the displeasure of knowing him, it was nothing good.
…
It was late afternoon and yet, the little village of Deijī was tranquil with little to none of its inhabitants walking its bricked streets and so silent the swaying of branches and the chirping birds perched on them could be heard. The few people wandering around said hello to the trio as they passed and Kakuzu asked a random man if there was a diner or somewhere they could eat. He was pointed to a brown house with a flat roof at the entrance of the township which he walked right by. After thanking the stranger, he guided his two brats to it.
Upon entering, a plucky waitress greeted and ushered them to a table in the middle of the dining area. There was a handful of other customers eating but without the typical loud chatter other restaurants had as everyone spoke to their tablemates in hushed whispers. The aroma of cooking food made Kakuzu's stomach grumble. He sat down with Zetsu and Sasori seated from each other and he stretched his long legs out between the two, so no kicking could be had underneath the table. Their waitress returned a minute later with menus, including a children's menu with crayons for Zetsu who gasped happily as she was handed them. Given the teenager had the mental capacity and physical appearance of a child, it wasn't surprising she might be mistaken as one.
After their drink orders were taken and the woman left, Sasori snorted crudely. "Why are you so mentally challenged?" He asked Zetsu.
"Hey!" Kakuzu barked, slamming his fist on the table and causing the silverware to clatter. "Do not say that to her!"
"What? She is!" Sasori defended himself, holding up his hands. "If she isn't then the fuck is wrong with her?"
"She's…" Kakuzu started, staring at her as he tried to think of a polite word to describe her. "Slow." Zetsu looked up at him, frowning. She didn't think she was slow; she thought herself quite fast!
"Whatever," Sasori muttered with a roll of his eyes as he got up from his chair, using it as support so he didn't put all his weight on his fake leg. "I'm goin' to the shitter."
Kakuzu stood up also as he wasn't ready to let the boy go off anywhere by himself. "I'll go with you." He pointed at Zetsu. "Girl, stay here."
"Yes, sir." She answered, not looking up from the picture of a fish on the menu she was colouring in.
"Tch, I don't need you holdin' my hand while I'm takin' a piss. What are you, a pedophile!?" The last sentence was purposely said loud and the peaceful atmosphere of the restaurant was shattered into dead silence. It garnered a lot of undesired attention onto them as Kakuzu felt every other customer's curious and judgmental gazes burning through him. Being the most wanted criminal in the world, the last thing he wanted on him was attention.
Begrudgingly, he sat back down and glowered at the kid through the darkness of his sunglasses. "You little shit." He hissed through clenched teeth.
Sasori gave him the cockiest smirk conceivable and turned away, catching their waitress by the arm and speaking to her though what he was saying could not be heard. Whatever he said to her obviously wasn't kind by her upset expression and quivering lips as she answered him. He then left, presumably to the bathroom. Everyone else went back to their own business.
When she came to take their food orders, she was trembling like a leaf with tears in her crystal orbs and Kakuzu felt so guilty for whatever Sasori said to her, he personally apologized to her, claiming his "son" had a mental disorder and therefore disturbed. The explanation did little to calm her and once she was left, sniffling, he sighed and buried his face in his hands.
"Fucking little shit." He grumbled, pressing his fingers against his bloodshot eyes. He felt something poking him and when he peered through his fingers, Zetsu was staring at him, head tilted like a curious puppy.
"What 'pedophile'?" She asked him, innocently.
"You don't need to know that."
She frowned, disappointed he wouldn't tell her what this new word meant but she could look it up later in her dictionary as she went back to abusing the red crayon on the picture she was drawing on the back of the paper place mat—a rather interesting picture, Kakuzu noticed. It was a tree drawn in pink and blue with a red background with little stick people in the tree. Part of him wanted to ask what the symbolism was behind the disturbing drawing, but he decided he didn't much care to know as instead, he withdrew the mission folder to review.
Several minutes later, he glanced up and realized Sasori had yet to return. He didn't have an ounce of trust for the brat, so he decided to go check on him, even if meant dragging him out of the bathroom and being called a pedophile in the process.
"Girl, stay here. I'll be right back."
"Yes, sir."
Waving down a passing waitress, he asked her where the bathrooms were located and was directed to the back of the diner. He got up, double-checking that Zetsu would remained seated then left towards the restrooms. The men's bathroom door was shut with a light filtering through the gap beneath and when he wiggled the doorknob, it was locked.
He rapped his knuckles on the door. "Boy? Are you in there?" Silence. Scowling, he knocked harder. "Boy!" Again, nothing.
Now, he wasn't going to stand around and wait for the little shit to come out if he was even in there. Checking to see if anyone was looking in his direction, a few threads slithered out of his sleeve and poked through the keyhole of the knob, fiddling with the mechanisms. After a minute, it clicked as it was unlocked and Kakuzu threw open the door. Inside, he found nothing. It was empty of any human life and there was nowhere for a person to hide either in the open floor plan. There was a faint whistling and over the toilet was a window, wide open with the seashell-patterned curtains being sucked out by the outside breeze. It became quickly obvious to him where exactly Sasori had gone.
"You little fucking bastard!" He spat to himself and marched out of the bathroom.
Back at the table, a waitress was placing plates of food on it. "That is such a cute picture, sweetie. I love the colours." She cooed at Zetsu who said nothing, knowing better now than to speak to strangers, kept her head down as she continued doodling people in the tree.
"Girl, we're leaving." Kakuzu advised Zetsu once he returned back to the table. She gave a disappointed whine as she hadn't had a chance to taste her pancakes yet; she never had pancakes.
"You're leaving? B-But your food." The waitress stammered. "Would you like it boxed to go?"
"No, it's fine," He mumbled, pulling out his wallet and pulling out an approximant payment for the food and handing the bills to the woman. "Something came up. Girl, hurry up!"
Zetsu stuffed her picture in her backpack and Kakuzu grabbed her by the sleeve, using it like a leash as he walked them out of the diner. Outside, he searched around to see if saw Sasori lurking nearby as he was impossible to miss with his bright red hair but no one with such hair was anywhere to be seen, meaning he likely fled and was out of the outpost by now.
"Girl, where is the boy?" He asked Zetsu. She stared at him, evidently confused by his question so he decided to ask it again in lingo he knew she would understand better. "The firefly is gone. Where did it go?"
"Firefly gone?"
"Yes. Now where is it? Can you find it?"
She frowned, unable to understand why Sir wanted to find the firefly because of how mean it was but she didn't want him to get mad at her so she did as he asked. Glancing around, she searched for the firefly like a bloodhound sniffing out a suspect's scent, smacking her lips in the process. It took her a minute, but she found the firefly's dim glow in the far distance and pointed her casted arm in the direction that the main path winded, presumably to exit the outpost.
"That's where it went?" If she was correct, then Sasori was heading in the direction of the Frostlands.
She nodded with an air of confidence, and Kakuzu believed her; he didn't have time not to believe her. Sasori had a head start of them and they had to catch up to him as soon as possible before he was out of Zetsu's tracking range. With her jacket sleeve in hand, she was pulled along as he made his way down the road in the direction she claimed Sasori went with Zetsu stumbling behind him.
It wasn't until they were a distance from the town and any potential eyewitnesses that Kakuzu paused temporarily to do something that would aid their search a little better and summoned Daora. It crawled out from underneath his trench coat, stretching like a feline and clicking his beak in a yawn from its hiatus then sat itself in front of its master, waiting for its orders. Zetsu, intimidated by the heart creature, hid behind his leg.
"Daora, I want you to search for someone; a boy with red hair, understood?" Daora reciprocated him with a cawing and Kakuzu questioned if it could see colours. Now that he realized it, how did it see? Given its eyes were painted and real. That was a mystery for another day, though. "Girl, the firefly is down this road, right?"
Zetsu narrowed her eyes down the pathway, searching for the firefly's fluttering signature and nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Go ahead and if you find this person, I want you to restrain them until we can rendezvous." Daora chirped and with that, turned and its pudgy body bounced off, launching itself into the sky, high over the trees and near the clouds where it could be mistaken as a bird by passing bystanders.
With Daora providing air coverage, Sasori couldn't hide if he was in the area and would be snatched up before he could get any further. He didn't want to be dawdling back here either. Zetsu squeaked when Kakuzu suddenly picked her up, gathering her up by her underarms and sitting her on his arm with her resting against his chest. With her secured, he leapt into the adjacent treeline and using his chakra to propel himself through the thick foliage, leaping from tree to tree to increase their travel speed.
He still couldn't understand why Sasori would be going to the Land of Frost without them, but his best guess was the brat wanted the bounties all for himself and Kakuzu would be damned if he let someone steal money from him.
…
It was getting late as the afternoon flourished into evening and Daora had yet to signify it had found anything nor did Kakuzu see anyone. Zetsu insisted Sasori was going the same direction as them and if that was the case, then the boy was doing a decent job at staying one step ahead of them. It had been hours of nothing and they must've traversed halfway through the Firelands to the Frostlands. He was starting to question the tracking capabilities of the Mayfly when Zetsu gasped.
"Fireflies." She whispered, pointing ahead into the darkness of the forest.
'Fireflies, as in plural, not one?' Kakuzu's eyebrows quirked over his sunglasses.
Moments later, a metallic shrieking rang out overhead and Daora divebombed suddenly through the thicket, landing on a branch and leaping down into the main road below. Kakuzu slowed his pace to an eventual stop and leapt down also, setting Zetsu on her feet as he met with his air elemental. Daora franticly squawked and stamped its taloned feet, suggesting a potential threat up ahead. Zetsu claimed it to be fireflies, as in people and Sasori obviously wasn't among them. Otherwise, Daora would've attacked instead of warning them. He gave a sharp whistle and immediately the bird-like creature galloped off, jumping back into the trees to camouflage itself with the shadowy woodland, prepared to provide backup if required.
Snapping his fingers, he gestured at Zetsu then patted his hip. "Girl, stay close and stay behind me. If something happens, I want you to run into the trees; Daora will protect you." She nodded and huddled closer to him like told, grasping the back of his leather coat and staring up at him with her natural puppydog eyes. He ruffled her grassy locks to calm her and started down the dusty path. As he walked, part of him prayed whoever was waiting for them were migrants, resting their feet, but given their proximity to the Land of Frost, he suspected they might soon be meeting these highwaymen skulking about.
Approximately half a kilometer down the path was when Kakuzu spied movement on their left and saw a small gathering of men, perhaps three or four, dressed in civilian clothing and loitering off the side of the road. His sunglasses disguised his eyes and he securitized them without turning his head, so they didn't realize he was watching them. They were staring at them. Zetsu uttered a quiet whimper and he reached his arm back, wrapping it around her shoulders to calm her. She was shaking, and that told him these weren't friendly folk.
"Hey!" Kakuzu stopped as the men approached them, surrounding them in a semi-circle and it was revealed there was five of them, not three or four like he originally thought. None of them belonged to the stack of bounties he was given. "Well fuck me, the kid was right; an old man and little girl would come walking by."
"Kid?" Kakuzu asked despite the fact he knew what, or rather who he was talking about.
The person speaking, a hideous man with cracked lips that when he smiled, exhibited two rows of rotting, corncob teeth with breath that smelt of garbage. "A kid came by and told us to expect an old man and little girl and that the old man had a high bounty on his head; the highest bounty, in fact. You Kakuzu?"
Kakuzu didn't grace him with a response as his eyes narrowed and nose crinkled into a snarl. 'That little shit outed me to these bastards? What is his end game in this?'
The other man snapped his dirty fingers. "Hey, Sho, this guy Kakuzu or not?"
A wimpy man to his left produced a little black Bingo Book and flipped through the pages until finding the correct one. "Err…I don't think so, boss, he don't look nothing like the picture." He handed it to his leader who glanced at the picture listed in Kakuzu's entry then the man himself, doing so several times as he tried to match the man to the mugshot.
"It's an old picture." Kakuzu decided to explain, knowledgeable of the portrait printed in the book which depicted him when he was a withered, old man on his deathbed during his prison days. This was before he was granted eternal youth by his Kinjutsu.
"So, you are Kakuzu?"
"Yes."
The Boss man snapped the book shut and handed back to his lackey, snickering like a hee-hawing donkey. "We just hit pay dirt, men! Kill him but do not hurt the girl; the boy said he wanted her brought back alive." The five men pulled out blades of fluctuating size and Kakuzu sighed, exasperated that these vermin thought they could defeat him nonetheless kill him.
With a battlecry, the highwaymen rushed him all together; an idiotic move as Kakuzu hardened his arm, backhanding away their weapons with the earsplitting clang of metal striking metal and sent them stumbling backwards. Two of them recovered rather quickly, charging at him again but were thwarted just as quickly when Kakuzu launched his hands and grabbed one them both, swinging them into each other. Their skulls collided with the sickening cracking of bone with blood and teeth spewing from their facial orifices and they crumpled to the ground. Their boss was the next to foolishly take the elder on head-to-head with a large machete in hand that he slashed at the other man. It was child's play deflecting the blade, however, while he was occupied with the person in front of him, he failed to notice the one flanking him until Zetsu screamed out in fear.
He glanced behind himself to see the Bingo Book man had circled them and was running at the girl huddling his leg with a pocket knife. Grabbing her backpack, he picked her up and lifted her to prevent her from being hurt but was distracted when the Boss man attacked him again. Zetsu cried out, squeezing shut her eyes and covering her face with her sleeved arms as the weasel man stabbed at her. A humming echoed out and a green appendage thrusted out from her waist, piercing through his arm and resulting in his hand automatically dropping the knife as the connecting muscles were shredded. Howling, he wrenched his arm off the flytrap tooth and immediately fled into the woods while whimpering and holding the bleeding limb. Recognizing the Mayfly, Kakuzu wasn't positive if Zetsu did it on purpose or accident but he was impressed she had used it correctly for self-defense.
Besides the Boss, there was one person left and upon seeing all the bloodshed, dropped his weapon and turned to run. Kakuzu whistled and Daora burst out of the trees with a shriek, pouncing on and tearing into the screaming man with its claws and beak.
With everyone else down, Kakuzu made quick work of their leader as a hard punch into his ugly face downed him. While the man writhed in the dirt, clenching his bleeding nose, the miser stepped over him and grabbed him by the collar, lifting him eyelevel while keeping his stink as arm's length.
"Where did the boy go?" He asked him lowly, voice calm despite how irked he was that his time was wasted with this failed ambush.
Any resistance the man might have had crumbled immediately as he trembled in Kakuzu's fist. "H-He went to Shimo."
"Did he say why?"
"H-He asked who our leader was, and I-I told him it was Kidd. H-He said he wanted to join and that's w-when he told us about you! Said if w-we killed you we could keep the bounty to ourselves!"
'Kidd', Kakuzu recognized this name belonging to one of his bounties; the man with the highest bounty. "How do I find this 'Kidd'?"
"J-Just ask anyone in Shimo!"
Kakuzu clicked his tongue. While it answered a few questions, it left a lot unanswered. He didn't think he would be getting anymore out of the play-pretend criminal though, so he dumped him roughly to the ground. "You and your men are lucky none of you have bounties. Otherwise, I'd kill you all. Now get your hideous faces out of my fucking sight."
The Boss man didn't have to be told twice as scrambled to his feet and sprinted down the road in the opposite direction, leaving his men, wounded and bleeding, behind like a true coward.
Once gone, Kakuzu turned to Zetsu, finding her shaking but unscathed. "You alright, girl?"
She stared up at him, eyes glistening with tears as her lips quivered. "Hurt…"
Given she wasn't hurt, he translated that to the other definition of hurt she used. "You had no choice. If you hadn't hurt him, he would've hurt you."
"But…"
"Girl, listen," He sighed. "There is something that exists called 'self-defense'. It's rather self-explanatory, but I'll explain it to you anyway; it's when you defend yourself from someone who intends to hurt you. He tried to hurt you, and you defended yourself which resulted in you hurting him."
"But…" She whimpered, lips trembling harder with a few tears leaking down her face. "Sir Leader say no monster!"
"Girl, everyone is a monster. This fucked up world is nothing but monsters. Instead of calling them monsters, though, we call them 'humanity'; to be human is to inherently be a monster. You have to be one to survive and sooner or later, you'll realize this too if you want to live. Sir Leader may've silenced the Mayfly's inhumane tendencies, but he cannot silence human instinct, and neither can you. It was in your instinct today that made you hurt that man, so he couldn't hurt you. Everyone is a monster but that is because we are human, including you."
Zetsu stared at him, red faced and sniffling but didn't immediately burst into infant-like wails like she did last time he gave her a speech that ended in calling her a monster. He wanted to credit himself with finally getting her to accept it, but in reality, he knew it was because her pea brain likely hadn't fathomed half of what he just said. He wasn't worried by this as he said his piece and she could either take it and accept it herself or learn the hard way. "Come on."
He whistled at Daora who stopped playfully thrashing its victim's unconscious body like a dog toy and pranced over, ripped fabric caught in its beak. After sending it overhead again, Kakuzu plucked Zetsu up again and skirted back into the dwindling treeline.
They had to get to Shimogakure soon and find Sasori before he did something else he would regret.
…
AN:Gosh, a new chapter and I finished it in record time too. I've been in a such a creative mood and pumping out chapters left and right. Thank god to pain killers! Haha. But seriously. I liked writing this chapter because I got to write Sasori doing what he'll do best in this fanfic: being an asshole. And Zetsu being her innocent cute self too.
I keep forgetting to mention the tumblr I made. Right now, just this fic is posted but I want to post pictures and asks for it also. It's roucarnageblog.
Next Chapter: Kakuzu and Zetsu arrive in Shimogakure to find Sasori and discover he made a few new friends.
Until next time.