AN: Ohhh, I am so, so excited for this chapter. Yui is back! So, this chapter is going to be sugary, sweet wholesome fluff. Seriously, you're going to need a dentist afterward. Just feel good emotions all around.

you-may-call-me-V: It's ok! Trust me, Kakuzu is hella going to calm down after this chapter. You'll see why.

Cat Beats: Oh, I love Yui. She's one of favourite OCs in this story so I seize whatever chance I get to include or just mention her. And I'm glad you like Daora! I did my best to give each mask their own personality, so they felt more…I don't know, alive? Thank you and you too!

p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Please excuse any jank.

Warning(s): Genderbend (Mid), Language (Mid), Out of Character

…

Wasteland

The Akatsuki Arc

Chapter 62

While on her next mission, Zetsu used the opportunity to sneak over to Iwagakure to deliver Yui the delightful news. Operation Date Night was in motion! They celebrated over a hot cup of coco.

"So, the old man went for the free coupon?" Yui cackled, dumping a packet of sugar in her mug for extra sweetness.

"No, he didn't, believe it or not," Zetsu said, fluffing up her cloak and laying it down on the hard wooden floor before seating herself on it. Yui had offered her a seat on her bed, but Zetsu politely declined.

"Believe it I don't! How did you get him into going?"

"I may've implied using the coupon on taking Kisame out on a date," She failed to squash the devilish smirk glimpsing over the lip of her mug as she took a taste of the steaming liquid. Yui barked with laughter and Zetsu heard a shuffling downstairs, likely the nurse listening in to make sure the noise wasn't that of distress.

"He's still hating on that poor ningyo?"

"Who doesn't Sir hate?" Zetsu lightly jested and Yui nodded while still chuckling from the brutal truth of that statement. There was the creaking of a step of the stairwell.

"And you set the date for the thirteen of next month?" Zetsu nodded. "Did he say anything about it?"

"Umm, no. He just agreed to it,"

Yui huffed, freckled cheeks puffing up and pushing her reading glasses up her nose. "Really? Not one thing? Like him to forget our anniversary!"

Zetsu blinked. "It's your anniversary?"

"Not just any anniversary but our 70th anniversary!" This blew Zetsu away, near literally as if her back wasn't flush against the mattress, she may've fallen over. She had no idea they'd been an object for so long and it was obvious Yui included their decades of estrangement from each other.

"So, that's why you picked that date?"

Yui nodded, looking prideful. "Yes! It's perfect, don't you think?" Zetsu nodded and sampled her hot chocolate. "I'll make reservations then. How is six in the evening?"

"Should be ok. I'll make sure we leave early,"

"Great. Oh! And make sure Kakuzu's dresses up. He's never been a suit and tie kind of man but the least he can do it wear a dress shirt and slacks. Something! It's our anniversary dinner, afterall!"

"I'll see to it," Zetsu said, but what she really meant was, "I'll try my best" since it was Kakuzu, and she'd have a better time bulldozing down a brick wall with her own skull.

Yui extended out her cup and they toasted.

…

Upon counting down the days to the dinner, Zetsu had never felt so anxious in her life.

Thankfully, it wasn't too hard to occupy herself with missions as they had a plethora now that the Akatsuki had three partnerships on staff which meant more spying for her despite the extensive spy network Sasori and Orochimaru had established between them. She was exhausted and spent her days off either sleeping or smuggled away on the lounge, eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream while binging dramas. Through it, she learned Jūzō had a weakness for soaps and if he was off (and no one else was home), he'd join in with a box of tissues.

Before Zetsu knew it, a month came and went, and it was the thirteenth.

She estimated with her Mayfly and Kakuzu with Teo, it would take them between six to eight hours to get to Morioh on Iwa's seaside from Amegakure, with breaks. If they were to make it for the reservation set by Yui at six, they best leave early. So, that morning, she was up and got dressed in the outfit she had bought special for this occasion; just an emerald, silk dress shirt and black slacks since she didn't think herself feminine enough for a dress like Orochimaru. Though, she still looked pleasant, in her own personal opinion. She had even asked Konan to help in trimming her hair, so she looked well-kempt.

Once she was dressed and groomed, Zetsu hurried over to Kakuzu's bedroom and after a few knocks, the elder answered much to her immediate disappointment. Kakuzu gifted her prettified appearance a curious once over with an inquisitive eyebrow piqued.

"Sir, you aren't dressed?" Zetsu said, glancing him over to see he was still dressed in his everyday clothing of his Akatsuki uniform minus his head gear. Looked like he just got up too as his hair hadn't been brushed yet. Did he even remember what today was?

"What are you wearing?" He asked back.

She blushed, feeling a little self-conscious as she ran her hands down the front of her shirt. "We have to leave now if we're going to make the reservation," She said instead.

"Reservation? You made a reservation?"

Her blushing darkened and she fidgeted a little. Oh no, she was so garbage when it came to lying and he knew this. "Y-Yes. It's a very popular café and I didn't want us losing out on a table," Bloodshot eyes scrutinized her, and she looked to her feet, beads of sweat blossoming on her flushed face. She fidgeted a lot.

Finally, with a sigh, he caved. "Fine, fine. I'll get dressed and we can leave," Zetsu smiled, trying and failing to withhold her excitement as Kakuzu shut his bedroom door for privacy.

She waited outside while he got dressed and after several minutes, he opened the door again only for her to be disappointed once again. See, Kakuzu had gotten dressed but over his uniform he was wearing his old getup of leather trench coat with sunglasses and bandana, looking perfect for a bounty hunter but not a fancy restaurant.

"Sir, I thought you were getting dressed up?" Zetsu couldn't help her dissatisfaction oozing into her tone.

"Why the fuck should I get dressed up? I thought we were going to a café?" He barked back with his arms tightly crossed, obviously starting to get frustrated. Not started, was frustrated.

Zetsu flinched. "I—well, i-it's upper class so you have to l-look nice…"

"And I don't?"

"I—" Crap, she was losing it. She was out of lies and Kakuzu was figuring her.

So, instead of trying to bullshit him further, she inhaled a deep breath through her nose and exhaled it out her mouth to calm herself. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She dusted off her secret weapon and Kakuzu's one and only weakness: Zetsu Eyes (trademark still pending).

Quietly, she stared upward at him, golden eyes large and glistening and puckered out a quivering bottom lip in an award-winning performance. Kakuzu didn't even try to fight them. Throwing his hands up in defeat, he turned and marched back into his room, slamming the door in his midst. Zetsu let out the breath she had swallowed and massaged her face. She hadn't expected that to still be effective on him.

After another period of time, Kakuzu emerged again. This time having switched out his Akatsuki garb and was now wearing a dark red button-up shirt mingled with dark pants though with his trench coat still over it. It wasn't a suit and tie just as Yui said but it was better than nothing. Kakuzu glared at her a look she interpreted as, "satisfied?" to which she nodded, smiling. With an eyeroll invisible through his sunglasses, he locked up his room and they left the manor.

Once outside Ame, Zetsu presented Kakuzu a map she had hand-drawn of their destination after stopping over in Morioh whilst on mission. He examined it for a moment to figure out the best route between there and Ame without having to cut through or anywhere near Iwagakure. It was agreed to be a straight shot, no breaks betwixt. If only because he didn't want to be out dallying in enemy territory while wearing his Sunday second best. With that, they departed.

As Zetsu guesstimated, it took them between the six-to-eight-hour mark to make it to the seaview town of Morioh. It was late afternoon when they arrived and the sun was beginning to set, slinking down behind the bumpy mountain ranges the Highlands earned its namesake for and colouring the sky hues of mellow yellow, oranges and pinks in contrast to the fluffy white clouds floating by. Kakuzu withdrew Teo and Zetsu deactivated her Mayfly then dusted themselves off before making entrance via a cobblestone bridge over a lazy river.

For a tourist trap, Morioh was quiet. The brick paths were empty of any gawking journeyers with just the occasional citizen walking briskly past without so much as a glance at the two newcomers. Despite no one paying them no mind, likely thinking them the everyday excursionist too, Kakuzu didn't let his guard down, looking suspicious with his back-and-forth glancing. Zetsu looked at the town map she had picked up last she was here to find Trattoria Volpe, the restaurant for the dinner. It was in the town center and reading the old clocktower which shadowed the street, they had an hour to make it in time for the reservation. Zetsu hadn't an idea if Yui was here already or not, but she didn't want them accidently stumbling into her and ruining the surprise, so she ushered Kakuzu down the path in the direction of the café.

It was a walk but a pleasant walk. Due to being on the sea, the township smelt refreshingly of salt wafted by breeze. There was also a lot of landmarks which they passed by such as a funnily shaped rock, a deli as old as the Land of Earth itself and others. They were the perfect distractions too for the off-chance Zetsu spied a carriage going by that may be Yui and may have to make Kakuzu look elsewhere. Thankfully, that didn't happen, and they made it to the town center without incident, and in due time too.

Finding Trattoria Volpe wasn't too much harder as midst the colonial homes and modest shopping mall businesses was a building layered with red brick with black tiled roof and matching red carpet leading to a black door. On the brick in large, black letters outlined in gold read: Trattoria Volpe. It looked expensive and Zetsu feared upon seeing it, Kakuzu would turn tail. He didn't, unbelievable but—and maybe she was imagining it, she could feel his displeasure as he too had the same epiphany.

A male host stood outside behind a podium, dressed to the nines in a red dress shirt with black tie and slacks, very much in theme. As they walked up, he gifted them a polite and professional smile. "Hello, welcome to Trattoria Volpe. Will it be two for tonight?"

"Actually, I have a reservation at six for…three?" Zetsu said.

Immediately, Kakuzu looked pointedly at her, dark eyebrows crinkled. "Three?" He obviously asked but she didn't grace him with an answer since she didn't think she could lie her way out of this one. After checking a list, the host nodded to himself before fetching two menus and opening the door for them.

Inside, it was dark with dim, mood lighting with jazz music being played through speakers throughout and the intermingling of food-related aromas. Upon immediate entry, there was a bakery counter displaying freshly baked desserts spanning from pies to cake and a bar with hundreds if not thousands of ryō priced wines and liquors.

As the host led them to their table, Zetsu felt like her heart was going to launch from her chest as it hammered against her ribcage in sickening anxiety as her eyes scanned the tables and booths of customers in search of Yui. Was she here yet? It felt like forever—it may've been forever until being escorted into a large, dining room which was quiet save for the classy background music as only one of the tables and booths was occupied with a single, lone person seated with their back facing them. Zetsu let out the breath she had been holding.

The host laid the extra menus on the table and whispered something to the person while gesturing to Zetsu and Kakuzu. As the person turned to look at them, Zetsu heard Kakuzu come to a metaphorical, screeching halt behind her. She couldn't help herself as she looked at him, cheeks split into a large grin while Kakuzu, despite his tanned face being masked by his sunglasses and bandana, his aghast expression was crystal.

"Y-Yui?" He breathed in disbelief, voice quivering—no, tremoring. It has been sixty years and yet, he had never forgotten her face even after being weathered by the sands of time.

Yui couldn't speak as her lips quaked and tears gushed from her pink eyes. All she could do was extended out two trembling hands as she grabbed at the air towards him like a toddler pleading to be picked up and without a moment of hesitation, Kakuzu ran to her. He fell to his knees to be eyelevel with his once fiancé and they swaddled each other's faces in their hands to confirm they were of living flesh and breath and not just a figment of their old imaginations.

Yui hiccupped with joyous yet sad laughter. "O-Oh, Kakuzu. Kakuzu! Let me see you," With a nod of permission, she nudged back his sunglasses and bandana and gasped upon seeing the thick, black stitching and bloodshot eyes. "Did they do that to you?" Obviously "they" being the Elders.

"No, I did it to myself," Kakuzu confided in her, grasping her hand that was laid on his cheek and idly rubbing it with his thumb while his other brushed through her grey hair. "A 'blessing' from the kinjutsu,"

"A 'blessing', huh? Was it also a blessing not to look a day older since I last saw you? I'm jealous. I'm old, grey and wrinkly!"

"You're a beautiful as the day I lost you," Kakuzu quietly uttered, genuinely. Yui blinked, momentarily taken back before quivering lips pressed thin into a smile lest she start bawling like a babe.

After a moment longer of fawning each other, Kakuzu and Zetsu finally seated themselves at the table, opposite of Yui. Kakuzu shrugged off his jacket and smoothed out his shirt, suddenly feeling underdressed for the occasion. Espectially in comparison to his "date's" glistening, silver halter. Upon sitting down, the waiter came back to take their drink orders. Yui ordered them a bottle of expensive champagne to share while proudly proclaiming they were celebrating their 70th anniversary.

"70th anniversary?" Kakuzu inquired once the waiter left.

"Yes. It's our 70th anniversary as of today! I don't remember us officially breaking up," Yui said, extending a hand over the table and making groping motion towards him again.

Kakuzu grabbed it and all of a sudden laughed as a familiar glittering caught the banker's eye in the candlelighting. "Fuck me, Zetsu wasn't lying. You are still wearing that ugly, old thing," He said, delicately plucking his ex-fiancée's hand up to securitize the diamond engagement ring on her finger.

Yui gasped, yanking her hand away as she laid a light slap on his. "It is not ugly!"

"I could've done better,"

"No, you couldn't have. Rings like this weren't a thing back when we got in engaged," While Yui said this, she looked at Zetsu who quirked an eyebrow over her menu at the impromptu history lesson. "You had to go through a lot just to get one,"

"You're right. I had to buy the gold for the blacksmith to forge the band and order the diamond from the Highlands then pay to have them put together by a jeweler. Cost me have a year's pay back then," Kakuzu confirmed, withholding a grimace as he remembered the cost of it all. It put him back three paychecks.

"See? It's perfect," Yui insisted, but Kakuzu shook his head to indicate his opinion otherwise.

"I could've gotten you a larger diamond. I'll have a new one fitted for you. Or I can just get you a new ring. You're still a size seven?"

"Aww, you remember my ring size after all these years?"

"Why wouldn't I? There isn't one thing I've forgotten about you,"

Yui smirked, obviously taking that as a challenge. "Oh yeah, big guy? What's my favourite ice cream?"

"Mint chocolate chip, but the chocolate chips have to be dark chocolate of 70% cocoa minimum. Otherwise, and I quote 'it's like eating minty mouse poop'." Meanwhile, Zetsu scrunched her nose as she immediately questioned the flavour of mouse poop and how Yui had such knowledge.

"What? I'm not wrong!" Yui doggedly insisted, brushing a stray strand of silvery hair from her face.

"You got use banned from all the shops that sold ice cream in Taki,"

"Well, maybe, if they didn't sell minty mouse poop—" Yui kicked off but was interrupted by the waiter delivering an overpriced bottle of champagne—and chocolate milkshake for Zetsu.

Since it was obvious that they'd have no time for eating with all the banter they had to do, Kakuzu and Yui just ordered salads to go with the bread. Kakuzu poured them both a flute of bubbly which they then toasted with a clink of their glasses.

"You've were and still are the most stubborn woman I have ever met," Kakuzu said to Yui after having a taste of the ritzy wine. Wasn't bad but not worth the price tag. He didn't say this, though.

"Isn't that why you dated me, though?" Yui quipped back, fanning her mascara-ed eyelashes at him over the rim of her wine glass.

"I wasn't given a choice when you started stalking me," This immediately caught Zetsu's attention—not that she wasn't listening—she was just invested in her milkshake. It was a delicious milkshake. She instinctively looked at Yui who came off as understandably offended by the allegation.

"I did not stalk you! I just followed you home, so I knew where you lived," Yui justified with a shrug as if it was something everyone did.

"And that isn't stalking?" Kakuzu challenged.

"No, it was love—and may've been a dare by my friends,"

"A dare?" Kakuzu asked, this being the first he heard of this.

Yui, understanding her slipup, gulped down half her glass of champagne, as if to try and blame on intoxication. That obviously wasn't going to fly, so she heaved an exasperated sigh. "Yes. My old girlfriends knew I had a crush on you and were like 'oh, you like him? Why don't you ask him out?'. I obviously couldn't do that because you didn't know me, and I didn't know you. But then they were like, 'we dare you to ask him out!' and being twelve, I couldn't say no to a dare!"

"So, that's why you stalked me?"

Yui puffed her cheeks out, her pale face darkening pink to match the blush powdered on. "It wasn't stalking! But yes."

"Makes me feel grand to know you only asked me out on a dare," It was a jest, of course, but it gifted Kakuzu a sadistic pleasure to see Yui so flustered at the suggestion.

"It wasn't just because of a dare! It was because all the other boys were so boring and generic and you were tall, dark, and handsome," Yui paused when the waiter stepped up yet again to present them their salads and basket of bread, served on literal silver platters. "All the other girls thought I was insane to like you because they said you looked like you kicked puppies," She said, lathering her salad with ranch.

"Your friends sucked," Kakuzu concluded, passing over the salt once he was done bathing his own salad in it.

"Yes, but you should've seen their faces when we walked to classes the next day holding hands! Ha!"

"I was only holding your hand to drag you away from my drunkard father when his drunk ass stumbled onto you looking into our windows at five in the morning,"

"What? He thought a twelve-year-old girl was trying to burgle his house?"

"He was fucking drunk," Not that Kakuzu was defending his father. He had hated that abusive bastard and was glad when the liver cirrhosis finally took him. May he rest in Hell.

"Well, I don't remember you letting go of my hand until we got to classes," Yui smirked, chalking up that as a win in her book, crunching down on a forkful of milky lettuce.

"I don't remember that. I do remember you jabberjawing about getting lunch because, and I quote, 'that's what boyfriends and girlfriends do'."

"And you didn't say no,"

"I didn't think you were serious!"

"For nine years?" Seeing he wasn't going to win this one, Kakuzu just harrumphed and chewed on his buttery bread. "I've been serious about you for seventy years!"

"I don't understand why. We haven't been together for sixty years,"

Yui fell quiet for a moment, staring at her salad as she swirled the leafy greens and croutons in the watery ranch settled in the bottom of the bowl. She finally just uttered quietly. "I'm sorry I gave up on us," Kakuzu paused, mid-bite of salad. Zetsu, who had just been a silent eavesdropper during this whole conversation, glanced between the two elders while sipping anxiously at her milkshake.

Kakuzu let out a long-drawn sigh as he shook his head. "You never gave up on us. If you did, we wouldn't be here celebrating our seventieth anniversary, would we?" It was this epiphany that caused Yui is brighten up as a smile split across her aged face. Kakuzu smiled back.

They spent the next three-hours talking about anything and everything of the last sixty years of their lives as if it were for the first time. Zetsu, meanwhile, just listened. She learned a lot as both told stories from their childhoods and relationship. She never saw Kakuzu so happy as in this moment. Though, at a later point, she did get flustered when the subject inevitability fell on her with Kakuzu doing nothing but singing her praises with Yui parroting him. Despite knowing of how proud he was, she had never heard him speak so highly of her. Obviously, it must be the champagne getting to him as by the end of the night, they went through three bottles.

When the bill came, Yui and Kakuzu ended up squabbling over who was to pay it with Yui saying she was the one to "invite" them while Kakuzu maintained he was the man and so he was to pay. In the end, they negotiated with Yui paying for the meals and Kakuzu paying for the champagne plus hefty tip her personally gifted to the waiter. He didn't even flinch from it.

Since Yui was still booted up due to her broken ankle, Kakuzu helped her from the table and escorted her to the doors to leave with Zetsu carrying her crutches. Outside the restaurant, Boscoinge had been patiently waiting with a rented, horse-drawn carriage for the last hour to go back to Iwa. Putting out his cigarette, he walked up to take Yui but was stared down by Kakuzu as he protectively hugged the woman against his side with one arm. Boscoinge immediately backed off.

Yui slapped Kakuzu's arm as she glared up at him. "He isn't going to steal me from you!" She rebuked him. Kakuzu ignored her but after a moment, begrudgingly loosened his grasp to let her go.

Instead of walking to the other man, Yui turned to face her ex-fiancé, extending her arms out and puckering her lips. Getting the hint, Kakuzu tugged down his mask and leant over, letting her grab onto his neck and pull him down into a long, long overdue kiss. It was like their first kiss, fireworks and sparklers and the like. However, when Kakuzu tried to end it after several seconds, Yui just pulled him back in with an impressive strength, over and over until she threatened to kiss his lips raw. After a dozen or so kisses, Yui paused and stared longingly into the sunglasses of the man she had betrothed herself to a lifetime ago.

"I love you, Kakuzu," She whispered, three words sixty years in waiting.

"I love you too, Yui." Kakuzu said back without a moment of hesitation. Finally, with a smile and one last kiss, she let him go and Kakuzu's back cracked as he straightened back up from being hunched over for so long. Damn old age.

"That was so fun. I can't wait for our date next month!" Yui chirped, clapping her hands together, causing the horses to startle and whiny. "We should get ice cream! I know the perfect ice cream parlor that doesn't sell minty, mouse poop!"

Kakuzu didn't object as he knew better than to argue with her. Once Yui had her mind set on something, it was borderline impossible to insist otherwise. "We'll see," He said instead, trying and failing to camouflage a smile behind his bandana.

Zetsu handed the crutches to Boscoinge to be put in the carriage before she too was suddenly dragged in by Yui who freckled her face with kisses, smearing her cheeks with red lipstick. "Thank you so much for doing this for me, Zetsu." Yui whispered on the petite woman's ear, hugging her tight with an impressive show of strength for an elderly woman.

"I was happy to do it," Zetsu said, left a little breathless. After squeezing her a second longer, Yui let her go.

It was a dark night with the only source of light being a lone, buzzing streetlamp so Boscoinge guided Yui to the carriage. Last thing they needed was for her to fall—again. He signaled at the driver that they were ready to head out.

Once inside, Yui leant out of the window and her manager had to grab onto her jacket, so she didn't fall out once the wagon started moving. "I love you both! I can't wait for next time!" She declared, waving at Kakuzu and Zetsu and blowing them kisses. Kakuzu and Zetsu waved back until the carriage vanished into the night with nothing but the faint clip-clop of hooves on the cobblestone path.

"Girl," Zetsu flinched as a hand fell heavily onto her shoulder. She braced herself for the reprimand of the century for sneaking behind Kakuzu's back like she did. Maybe a slap or two. Whilst she deserved it, she did not regret what she had done.

Instead, Kakuzu pulled her in and hugged her tight to his chest, laying his cheek against the top of her head. Zetsu didn't move nor hug him back, not that she could with her arms trapped. After a long minute, he sighed, ruffling the green blades of her grassy hair. "Thank you…for this,"

Again, she smiled. "It was Yui's idea," Though, that may not come as a surprise to him.

"Yes, but—" He stopped himself. No, she didn't have to do it, but he was thankful she did and that's all that should matter. He shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. So, he said nothing more, just hugging the junior a moment longer before letting her go. "C'mon, I'm starving. Let's grab something on the way,"

With that, he pushed Zetsu down the path in the direction of a fast-food joint, sending her scrambling a few steps. She laughed it off and could've sworn she heard Kakuzu laugh too.

…

AN: I am so, so sorry for the wait on this chapter, but to put it lightly, this year had kicked my ass. My intention was to get through this arc this year but so much for that. Sigh, maybe next year. I'll do my best to get chapters out regularly. Don't have much else to say besides that except we are done with the fluffy stuff and back to drama—and dramatic is shall be.

Next Chapter: The Conspiracy.

Until Next Time.