AN: This chapter is the start of a mini-arc within an arc involving three scenarios going at once. It'll be a few chapters, maybe three or four and then finally—finally—we get to our next Akatsuki member. I may've fucked the timeline but I reckon y'all just take a guess who it is wink wink.
Cat Beats: I'm enjoying writing Kakuzu so much and all the other Akatsuki members! With my own flavouring, of course, haha. Thank you for the kind words, friend.
p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Please excuse any jank.
Warning(s): Violence (High),Implications of Torture (High), Mentions of Slavery (High), Genderbend (Mid), Language (Mid), Out of Character
…
Wasteland
The Akatsuki Arc
Chapter 63
"Ok, like, but then, it was her twin sister, bro!"
"What? Why would she get married to her own sister's fiancé?"
"'Cause the sister was in the hospital with a coma after like, a paint bucket fell on her head! Get this though, she was havin' an affair with the painter! So, it may've been like, a murder attempt or somethin' to get her cat café business!"
"Ohhh damn, that's crazy, bro. Err, not to interrupt but we gettin' close to our client? Feels like been walkin' through the middle of nowhere for hours," Kisame looked around, seeing nothing but trees, trees and more trees. Who would've known there were so many trees in the buttcrack of the Firelands?
"Err…I dunno, bruh," Jūzō said, having been too oblivious to his surroundings while excitable summarizing the latest plot twists to his favourite novella to his partner. "He just like, sent us coordinates in the middle of the Land of Fire." To confirm this, Jūzō withdrew the mission scroll from his cloak to look over again. He wasn't skilled with directions and anxious he may've sent them the wrong way. However, upon showing it to his partner, Kisame seconded him to be correct and they were meant to be here—in nowhere.
"Well, we better find this bastard. Otherwise, Big Cheese ain't gonna be happy with us," Kisame said and went back to walking with Jūzō scrambling behind, rolling up the mission scroll back up and stuffing it inside his cloak.
"Why can't we meet these people in like, a café over coffee or like, I dunno."
"I don't know, man, but I wouldn't want people around to overhear me payin' a mercenary organization a million ryō to off my wife 'cause I'm too chicken shit," Kisame shrugged and Jūzō thought about it for a moment before accepting this with a sigh. Touché. "It's so cliché. Like them plots in your dramas."
"Hey man, they ain't cliché! And ain't like, all of them are like that. Oh, like, there was this one time—" Jūzō went back to his gushing as they walked down the dusty, backwoods path.
However, it was a few minutes in when Kisame paused all of a sudden. Jūzō stopped too, staring at his partner curiously as the ningyo sniffed the air akin to a hound dog. As he did, Samehada thundered out a growl which Kisame silenced by gripping her handle. Now, Jūzō didn't have the acute nose of a ningyo but what he did have was a sense for chakra which prompted him too to grapple onto Kubikiribōchō.
"Looks like our client ain't alone," Kisame vocalized what they were both thinking.
"Ya think they're like, his bodyguards er somethin'?" Jūzō said, looking to and fro in the trees and bushes for anyone skulking within.
"I don't know but I guess we're about to find out," They went back to trekking down the road, now on high alert with the knowledge of the plethora of extra chakra signs lingering around the area.
They didn't have to walk for long as a little down a-ways did they spy a person standing off the path, amidst the shrubbery. It was a dirty, older man looking like a hobo cosplaying as a businessman, slapdashed in a three-piece blue, suede suit which was rumpled and two sizes too large. Upon Kisame and Jūzō's approach, the man's sunken eyes lurched towards them, and greasy skin paled as if they were ghosts. Though, any sane person would be a little freaked out upon seeing two large, muscular men with humongous, fuck-off swords walking towards them.
Jūzō was the one to speak to him, being the slightly "less" intimidating of the duo. "Hey, man, you Shingo?"
The man looked startled to be positively identified by the strangers. "No—yes! Yes, I am! A-Are you Akatsuki?"
"Yeah, that'd be us."
"O-Oh, there's only two of you?" He asked, disappointed. Kisame and Jūzō exchanged glances.
"Yep. Why would there need to be more of us just to kill your wife, hmm?" Kisame politely yet curiously inquired.
"My wife…? Oh, yes! M-My wife!" Shingo corrected himself, chuckling nervously and gluing back dark hair using his own head grease. He didn't seriously forget the reason why any of them were out here, did he? Again, Kisame and Jūzō delivered each other a dubious look but said nothing. "L-Let us…uhh, discuss that?"
"Yes, lets. Hmm, are your lil' friends joinin' us too?" Shingo blinked at Kisame in momentary confusion before his slimy face paled a deathly white. Apparently, he hadn't thought they'd notice he was not alone.
Whatever Shingo was going to say, be it excuse or not, never came to fruition from his chapped lips as with a rustle, out stepped his "company" of a dozen or so from the foliage, all uglier than the last man. All were armoured up in lookalike Jounin vests splashed in black paint with extravagant blades buckled to their backs and hips. They looked like movie props with many exaggerated edges and lengths. Not at all practical. This caused Kisame to smirk. Only because unlike them, their swords may look comical, but they were also very real.
"Ohh, can we help you gentlemen?" Kisame politely questioned despite knowing damn well what and why they were here. That is, unless they were on their way to a costume party. He didn't get an answer.
Instead, the largest and ugliest of the lot looked to the second largest and ugliest who then looked to the third and so on and so forth. Once all exchanged a mutual look, all simultaneously smiled and withdrew their weapons. Obviously, they weren't here to talk and neither Kisame nor Jūzō knew who it was that swung first but in a split second, it was an all-out fight.
It became immediately obvious that the weapons might as well be movie props as despite being outmanned, these thugs were no match for two, real swordsmen; cheap too as after a few collisions with Samehada and Kubikiribōchō, they exploded into scrap metal in the thugs' hands. This caused them to fall back onto juvenile jutsu which did little more. One academy-level mist jutsu from Jūzō was all it took to send them skittering like chickens with their heads cut off inside the fog. From there, it was just a matter of picking them off one by one.
"Man, what was all that about, dude?" Jūzō moaned as he kicked at a dead body that was shish kebab-ed on Kubikiribōchō.
"I dunno but whatever is was—" Kisame was in the middle of saying when he was interrupted by a bloodcurdling scream.
In an instant, both swordsmen were on the defensive again with weapons armed as they investigated. What they expected to find was one of the would-be mercenaries they had missed, either maimed or screaming in fear, but what they found was Shingo, leant against a tree. He had survived the onslaught but while trying to flee, he gotten cut badly on his arm, whether by Kisame or Jūzō or his own gang, and the blue fabric of his suit was a dark shade of purple like a bruise.
Upon seeing the two Akatsuki members, the man flinched away, clinching his gushing arm with one hand while dragging himself away with the other. Though, he didn't get too far before switching to begging for his life, hands intertwined and in tears. "P-Please! Please!"
"Listen, we ain't gonna hurt you, man." Jūzō said, putting away Kubikiribōchō to prove this. Kisame took his lead and sheathed Samehada also.
"If you answer a few questions for us, then we'll help you," Kisame then offered, seeing this man was the only one alive, as evident by the random body parts and dead bodies littered everywhere. He wasn't a threat either. Otherwise, he'd be in fight mode instead of flight.
"P-Please! I'll tell you anything! Please! I-I don't want to die!"
"Why'd your friends attack us?" Kisame pointed at a dead man a few feet off—or half a man, rather.
"F-Friends? We aren't f-friends! T-They blackmailed me i-into doing this!"
"Blackmail? Why would they blackmail you?"
"I…I lost a lot of cash in b-bets. So, it was either this o-or being sold off to them!"
"So, they're slavers?"
"Why would slavers have an issue with like, us?" Jūzō cross-examined Shingo, rubbing a hand over his chin and smearing the fresh blood tattooed on it.
"I-I don't know! Please! I'm bleeding out here!"
"Relax. You still have a few minutes until you bleed out," Kisame said, crossing his arms. The only thing he may "bleed" out from was all the snot and tears leaking out of his ugly mug. "Now, back to my original question: who are they guys and why did they attack us?"
"T-They're the Black Mark, t-they operate in the Skylands,"
"The Black Mark?" Kisame mumbled to himself, but it failed to spawn a memory. Though, his knowledge on the Skylands or its capital of Kumogakure was limited and by that he meant zilch. The downsides of Kiri's fixation on military training rather than elementary education.
"Y-Yes! I don't know why they w-wanted to kill you! They just s-said if I didn't go with them then t-they'd sell me off!"
"They must've done that 'cause they were gonna put you in the middle and like, let you die." Jūzō theorized aloud which only served to compound Shingo's trepidation further by the sudden sobbing.
"Please! That's all I know! Please…"
Kisame let out a defeated sigh. He didn't think they'd be getting much else out of the sad, homeless man. He looked at Jūzō who just shrugged back to indicate it his partner's call. So, Kisame decided to let him go. He may be a S-Rank criminal and treasonist, but he found no honour in killing a defenseless person. Tearing a length of clean bandages off Samehada, he patched up Shingo's arm which looked a lot worse than it was. Man bled like a stuck pig.
Once he was no longer at hazard of bleeding to death, Shingo leapt up and grabbed Kisame's hand, shaking it while blubbering out his sincerest thanks and pledge to repay them one day. He then did the same to Jūzō before fleeing into the jungle, never to be seen again.
Jūzō scratched the back of his head while looking around at the gore and corpses littered around them. "So…the mission was a bust then?"
Kisame shrugged. "Looks like it. C'mon. Let's get back to Ame and let the Big Man know about what happened." Jūzō nodded to communicate his agreement in that decision and the two men walked back from whence they came, leaving the dead mercenaries to be supper for the hungry wildlife.
…
"So, it was an ambush?" Pein asked and looked to Kisame and Jūzō who were seated in the metal chairs in front of his desk. Both men nodded in unison to confirm. "Hmm. Interesting. And you said the party responsible was known as the 'Black Mark' from the Skylands?"
"Yep." Kisame grunted.
Nodding, Pein noted the name on a blank piece of paper and tapped it with his pen. "I am unfamiliar with that name. However, Kumogakure has a long history of kidnapping and slave trade. So, it is possible this gang heard the Akatsuki was in possession of powerful shinobi and sent in a fake request to lure us out." Konan walked over and he handed his partner the paper. After looking it over, she shook her head to signal neither she knew the name before leaving towards the budding library of books on her side of the office so she may research it.
"So, like, they were gonna kidnap us?" Jūzō summarized, waving to Konan who smiled and politely waved back.
"Perhaps. I do not know. Neither do I know if the Kumogakure government had any involvement in the scheme. Unfortunately, we may have to blacklist any missions to or from Kumogakure to be safe," Pein sighed, writing this down. Such a shame having to ostracize an entire nation for the safety of your members. "Once Orochimaru and Sasori return from their mission, I will send them out to gather intel on this Black Mark to determine if this was an isolated incident or other—"
"Sir Leader," Pein straightened up in his chair from the telepathic message in his head. "I apologize for the interruption, Sir Leader. I have an urgent message from Orochimaru and Sasori," He lifted a finger up to signify to Kisame and Jūzō not to speak. While bewildered, both men stayed mum.
"Go on, Zetsu," Pein granted, pressing a finger to his ear.
"The mission was a set-up, sir. They were ambushed by their liaison,"
"Ambush?" Pein uttered in an exasperated manner underneath his breath but loud enough to be overheard by the two swordsmen present. Immediately upon hearing "ambush", Kisame and Jūzō looked at each other then at Pein, eyes large. Pein, on the other hand, kept his offish demeanor but he too was flabbergasted by this coincidence. "Ambushed, you say?"
"Yes, sir."
"Are they injured?"
"No, sir. They succeeded in killing fifteen attackers and capturing one. It was through interrogation that they learned the mission was a set-up in order to assassinate them," And by "interrogation" she meant torture obviously since this was Orochimaru and Sasori they were talking about, but it was no business of Pein's at the moment. "However, they failed get much more before the man expired from his injuries." Pein was silent momentarily, resting his chin on his intertwined fingers as he stared off in deep thought. Kisame and Jūzō fidgeted from the sudden tension blossoming in the office and the dead stare of the Rinnegan.
Finally, after a solid moment of silence, the ginger leant back to his chair and shut his eyes. "Thank you, Zetsu. I want you to inform Orochimaru and Sasori that they are to return back to Amegakure immediately. Would you kindly?"
"Yes, sir." With that, the connection was ended.
Kisame and Jūzō observed their leader for his thoughts on this most unexpected development. After taking another moment, Pein straightened up and sighed, folding his hands in his lap. "It would appear that this was not an isolated incident. Orochimaru and Sasori too have been waylaid."
"Oh man, man! Are they ok?" Jūzō said.
"Yes. No injuries reported—" However, before he could speak any further on the matter, he was once again interrupted, this time not by a voice in his head but the elevator. It screeched to a stop at the floor and the wireframe doors cranked open. Out from inside came Daora.
The chimaera pranced over to Pein and sat down at his side like an obedient mutt. Tied to her neck with her own threading was a letter. Taking it, Pein rolled it out on his desk to read. He either did not notice or outright ignored the mask's empty stare and anxious pitter-patter of her paws on the sheet metal floor in a one-two step. Kisame did not though and ushered Daora over where she was subject to lots of love and pets from the partners for being such a good girl.
"Damn it all…"
Kisame glanced up in response to the colourful mumbling to see Pein with his forehead laid in his hand and eyebrows wrinkled in clear stress.
"Err…everything ok, Big Cheese?" Kisame asked despite the fact he had an inkling that it was not, in fact, okay.
Pein's ringed orbs scanned over the written contents of the note—once, twice over to confirm he had understood it correctly. Once he did, he calmly rolled the letter back up and set it to the side. He then laid his arms over his desk and interlocked his fingers again, reinstating his stoic disposition. "It was a letter from Kakuzu and Gine. They too were subject of a failed assassination…"
"What?!" Kisame and Jūzō barked in unison, accidentally frightening Daora in the process as she hunkered to the floor with her wings laid flat against her back.
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action," Pein narrated. "There is a scheme against the Akatsuki." He said no more as the Rinnegan user swiveled backwards in his chair in order to make page. "Zetsu,"
"Yes, Sir Leader?" Zetsu answered just a moment later.
"After you have spoken to Orochimaru and Sasori, I want you to make contact with Kakuzu and Gine and inform them that they too are to report back to Amegakure immediately. Once that is done, I want you too to return to Amegakure post-haste."
"At once, Sir Leader."
"So, like, what do we do now?" Jūzō questioned once Pein faced them again while Kisame was busy comforting a frazzled Daora.
"Now? Nothing. Once all members are present, I shall call for an emergency meeting so we may discuss these newest developments. Until then: Kisame, Jūzō you are dismissed. Thank you for the information on this developing situation."
"Sure thing, man." Jūzō looked to Kisame, and the two men got up, ushering Daora with them so they could babysit the heart until Kakuzu returned.
Konan got up once they were gone and sat down in front of Pein's desk so the two of them could discuss this conspiracy against the Akatsuki and what to do. Zetsu made entrance not long after and joined the conversation.
…
Three days later, all Akatsuki members were present in the seminar hall for the first organization wide meeting in ten years. Everyone was chattering about the treason against the Akatsuki until the meeting started. It wasn't too long a wait as the leadership plus Zetsu walked in. Pein sat down at the end of the conference table with Zetsu and Konan on both sides of him. Once they did, a silence fell over the room as all eyes were on them—specifically, Pein.
"Thank you all for being here to speak on these most unfortunate circumstances which the organization finds itself," Pein initiated, laying out his notebook and what little notes he had on the manner before intertwining his hands atop them. "Now, I am going to ask of you to detail your encounter so we may all have an open discussion on it. Kisame, Jūzō—since were the first to report to me, why don't you speak first? And please, do not leave out any detail, as minor as it may be."
"Err, ok." Jūzō looked at Kisame and did a half-nod for him to speak. Afterall, he was the more "eloquent" talker out of the two of them.
Kisame sat up in his chair for his narration as all eyes landed on him. "Jūzō and I got sent out on a mission for a dude payin' a million ryō to off his wife. Sent us all the way out in the Middle of Nowhere, Firelands for it. So, we get there and this guy ain't alone. He had like a dozen friends with him or whatever. They attacked us, we killed them, and the guy told us it was all a set-up by a rogues' gallery callin' themselves the 'Black Mark' up in the Skylands." Jūzō nodding along to confirm everything his partner said as being the truth. "And that be the skinny of it. Nothin' more, nothin' less, Big Man."
"Thank you, Kisame, Jūzō," Pein said and glanced up in anticipation of anyone speaking up upon recognition of the name of this mysterious group. However, no one did, which inferred to Pein that they too had no knowledge. Not even Orochimaru or Sasori despite having a spy syndicate in every nook and cranny of the world. "Orochimaru, Sasori, would you kindly speak next on your encounter?"
"Well, I cannot say our kerfuffle was as…thrilling as that," Orochimaru started, leaning back in her chair with cigarette in hand despite being informed multiple times that smoking was not permitted in the tower. "Though, much like Kisame and Jūzō, Sasori and I were sent on an assassination mission. Not after some bloke's poor wife though but the son of a politician in Iwa so he wasn't minted after dear daddy died from consumption,"
"Rot," Sasori grunted.
"Yes, yes. As you can imagine, it was all porkies and we walked into an ambush. Nothing we could not handle, of course, and we slaughtered the lot of them. Except one which kept alive for…information."
Sasori laughed. "Ha! Blighter was singin' like a bird only a few slices into the ol' thousand cuts treatment," A collective discomfort fell over the chamber from that. Especially with the way Orochimaru and Sasori giggled to themselves as if the implication of torture was a punchline.
"Anywho, we got the name of the 'Mistress' as the individual responsible for our blight," Orochimaru concluded, tapping at the ashes from her cancer stick onto the floor.
"The Mistress?" Pein parroted while writing down the name. That made two parties involved in blindsiding them. "And that name is unknown to you?"
"Yes. No idea of whoever that is," Orochimaru confirmed and looked to her partner who just shrugged dismissively to mimic her statement.
Pein sighed. So, they did not know this name also nor did any other member as one had yet to speak up. Another dead end. "Thank you, Orochimaru, Sasori. Now, Kakuzu, Gine, would you kindly?"
"Hmph," Kakuzu grunted, arms crossed. "I'll cut out the bullshit and just say we got the name of 'Father'."
All of a sudden, there was a gasp in the quiet room that ricocheted off metal walls. Everyone looked at Orochimaru who was the source of it and had a hand over her mouth. Pein, who had been writing the new name down, looked at her too.
"Orochimaru, are you familiar with this name?" He implored, trying not to sound too excited with that inquiry.
"Oh my, yes. But, let me ask, you too were ambushed, yes? Did any of the lads have a tattoo—of three horns intercrossed?"
"Yes, they did," Gine was the one to speak, not looking at Orochimaru as she stared blankly in front of her. "They had it on their lower backs." Kakuzu grunted again to confirm that he too had seen them.
"Aha! That confirms it then. I'm thinking of the very same Father then."
"And who is this 'Father'?" Pein insisted.
"Father is the man guilty of maintaining the largest human trafficking operation in the world. There must be the sale of hundreds if not thousands of slaves through him alone."
"Are you familiar with him?"
"I may or may not be a…customer of his," Orochimaru shrugged as if everyone participated in the slave trade. Though, given her past transgressions, could anyone in this room say they were honestly surprised?
"Aye yo! Our dude said these Black Marks dudes were gonna like sell him into slavery, man!" Jūzō blurted out, launching out of his chair in the process like an eager student in the classroom with the answer to a question.
"That so? This Black Mark too must be involved in the slave trade," Pein interpreted Jūzō's statement, much to the swordsmen's glee. "Then it is safe to say that this 'Mistress' is as well."
"Hmm, if so, why would a buncha slavers have beef with us?" Kisame asked, expressing the one question on everyone's minds.
"I do not know. However, I can say that it was only a matter of time until the Akatsuki drew the ire from other organizations within the mercenary trade due to our low estimates and high efficiency," Pein inferred. "Sasori, can you use your spy network to investigate this Black Mark and Mistress?"
"Aye," Sasori agreed.
"Perfect. Zetsu will be assisting," Sasori's dramatized groans of displeasure were overlooked by all. "And Orochimaru. Since you have a preestablished relationship with this Father, can you gather information from him as to his interest in the Akatsuki?"
"That I can do! I am one of his favourite customers afterall," Orochimaru gnawed on the mouthpiece of her pipe.
"Does anyone have any additional information to share which may help their investigation?" Whilst there were a few glances between each other, nothing was said. "Unfortunately, until we have dealt with this issue, all missions are hereby suspended and all Akatsuki members are to stay in Amegakure until further notice unless ordered otherwise."
"What!?" Kakuzu was obviously the one to have issue with this and may be only one too. Afterall, no missions meant no money.
"I apologize, Kakuzu—but as of now, it is unknown which of our mission proposals are genuine and which are not. Our conspirators are obviously trying to lure out our members with these frivolous missions in order to assassinate them. It is far too dangerous in the meantime,"
"So, you're going to let them swindle us instead?"
"What it is you would rather I do? Send members off on missions in case they are authentic while not only wasting funds but also threatening them with being maiming and/or death? Which I must say would also be detrimental to our financial state?" Pein waited patiently for Kakuzu to come up with his own solution to this dilemma the organization found itself in. However, he said nothing and begrudgingly, the elder sunk in his seat. "It is only to be temporary until we have more information. It should be a quick and easy investigation, yes?"
"Yes, Sir Leader." Zetsu replied while getting a grunt and nod from Sasori and Orochimaru.
"Perfect. If there is nothing else, then you are all dismissed. Thank you."
Everyone got up to leave with the exception of Zetsu, Orochimaru and Sasori who gathered around to hash over the specifics of this joint investigation.
…
THREE WEEKS LATER
"Brilliant news! Or not, given the unfortunate circumstances at which we find ourselves. Anywho! We have information!" Orochimaru publicized at the next Akatsuki meeting and clapped her hands to draw all eyes to her.
"Perfect. And what is it you learned?" Pein inquired, flipping to a blank page in his notebook with pen in hand.
"Goodness me, so much! I don't know where to begin!"
"'ow 'bout the part where 'em wankers are dictators o' the biggest slave trade network in the bleedin' world an' got them fingers in the mercenary business too?"
Orochimaru glared at her humpbacked partner with a sour expression on her make-up caked face. "I was getting to that, Sasori." She cleared her throat. "Yes, so. First off: we have confirmed the lot of them are the ones behind this little scheme against us. As to why? Well, it's a wee bit complicated,"
"No, it ain't."
Again, Orochimaru glared at Sasori, accompanied by a stamp of her foot. "Sasori! I'm getting to it! I'm just trying to build suspense!"
"Well 'urry it up! I 'ate waitin'!"
Orochimaru let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, yes. As Sasori spoilt! The three of them—Father, the Mistress and this 'Overseer'—are the heads of the largest slave trade. Not only that but they are—were—also the largest mercenary organization. That is, until the Akatsuki—"
An impatient Sasori decided to interrupt the woman in order to narrate it himself. "Basically, they're fundin' a buncha ghost companies in all the nations. These ghost companies then git their lil' grubby 'ands on all the missions they can—assassinations an' kidnappin's bein' their forte. Wut they do is nick the person an' then 'and 'em off to their bosses. They git a commission from the payout an' them bastards up top git a new item to sell." Frustrated, Orochimaru fell back into her chair and huffed like a pouting child from having her presentation plagiarized by her own partner. "They 'ad themselves a monopoly goin' too 'til we walked our 'appy arses in,"
"Then it confirms my suspicions on the motive behind this sudden aggression against the Akatsuki," Pein mumbled, tapping his fountain pen to his lips. "And what did you learn on the individuals themselves?"
"Well!" Orochimaru exclaimed before Sasori could speak for them again. "I paid a visit to my dear old friend, Father. Unfortunately, he's wee occupied with his gala so I couldn't see him personally. However, his manservant was so kind as to gift me an invitation," From inside her cloak she produced an white envelope, glued with a wax that was stamped upon with a symbol of three horns intertwined.
"Perfect. Might I have a look, would you kindly?" Orochimaru obliged, passing the letter down the line of members until it was handed off to Pein. He opened it and extracted the invitation from within. It was printed on white cardstock, embellished and lettered in gold ink which dated it as of next week and located in the heart of the Firelands. Though, nothing else. "What is this 'gala'?"
"Oh, it's an annual event by Father. He says it's a 'gala' but truly it is a ginormous slave auction to which only the fattest of fat cats is invited too. We're talking billionaires, war lords—hell, even a few daimyo."
"And the Akatsuki," Pein tacked on, staring at the invitation a second longer before neatly tucking it back into its envelope and sliding it to Konan so it may be delivered back to Orochimaru. "Now, onto the other two."
"I investigated the Black Mark," Zetsu was the next to speak, much to Sasori's ire since he still had things to say. "I tracked their organization to the Land of Clouds as inferred by Kisame and Jūzō, specifically to a micronation within the Skylands known as the Dusklands. Much like the Soundlands, it is private nation under ownership of the Black Mark and that is where they are headquartered," Orochimaru smirked a little upon mention of her own micronation.
"Brilliant as always, Zetsu. Sasori mentioned an 'Overseer', do they lead the Black Mark?" Pein inquired.
Zetsu nodded. "Yes, he does and is 'kage' of the capital of the Dusklands—Yamigakure. I succeeded in infiltrating the village and from my investigation, it appears that the Black Mark is the organization which employees their ghost companies and the undertaking of missions as a front for their human trafficking operation. There is also a massive colosseum in the center of Yamigakure where they use slaves to fight to the death as entertainment. While I did not find the Overseer himself, I heard rumours that he attends the finals of these fighting tournaments to personally congratulate the winners,"
"Hmm, that is interesting," Pein uttered, thumbing the smooth surface of one of his lip piercings. "Thank you, Zetsu. Anything further?"
"No, Sir Leader."
"Then, finally, what do we know of this Mistress?"
Sasori erected Hiruko's tail as if to raise in hand like one did in a classroom but did not wait for Pein to acknowledge him before speaking once again. "I know she's the Oiran of the biggest whore'ouse up in Yugakure,"
"An Oiran?" Pein questioned.
"Yep. She uses them slave girls to run the 'ouse while she's out an' she's out a lot. Managed to get meself in there an' sniff 'round 'fore they kicked my arse out,"
Upon hearing this, Orochimaru let out an overdramatic gasp, causing everyone to jump a little in their chairs, and she glared at Sasori. "Sasori! You went to a whorehouse!?"
"Wha—ain't like I was layin' with them birds, woman!" Sasori tried and failed to defend himself but the Sannin wasn't having it and unleashed a barrage of slaps and punches against the puppet's carapace while barking at him for his "infidelity". It was very theatrical and Pein did nothing to stop it nor did anyone else, not wishing to infer in the lovers' spat.
In the middle of it, Kisame elbowed Jūzō with a playful smirk. "This is like one of your soup operas, hmm?" He jested and the two swordsmen giggled like schoolgirls at the implication.
After a solid minute of awkwardness, Orochimaru ceased her onslaught once she was burnt out and looked over her hands to check she hadn't broken a nail. Sasori, uninjured obviously, laid his metallic scorpion tail over his back to prevent future attacks while giving his hysterical partner the stink eye which was impossible to tell from Hiruko's default stare. He made a mental note to search for cracks in the wood later.
"Sasori, do you have more information you would like to share on your investigation?" Pein said once all that was over with.
"Nah," Sasori grunted. "Just know this Mistress bitch pops in an' out to check on things but I couldn't tell you when or where she fucks off too,"
"Very well. Does anyone have anything else they would like to share or speak on?" Again, silence and Pein looked to each and every individual member until he was sated that everything had been said and done. "Then, would you kindly give me a moment to think?"
Pein looked over his notes and outlined a plan while the others waited, chattering to each other in hushed whispers. Konan curiously looked over her partner's shoulder and the ginger man graciously slid over his book, so she may too read it. Finally, after several minutes, Pein set down his pen and straightened up, looking confident.
"If the Akatsuki wants any likelihood of cornering the entire market for missions, and thus making all nations solely dependent on our services, we must eliminate all that threatens this goal, be it financially or otherwise. At this moment, our enemies think they have successfully trampled us; they are confident, cavalier and sadly mistaken. Assassinating one at a time is ineffective as it may cause the others to flee into hiding. So, I propose this: divide and conquer. We launch a counterinsurgence upon all three leaders of this black market at once. You will each go undercover and infiltrate their operations. From there, search and destroy each one—this Father, Mistress, Overseer. I care not what must be done to accomplish this nor who must die, be it innocent or otherwise. I have no doubts that with their deaths their monopoly too will expire, letting the Akatsuki take over in their stead. This is no longer a matter just of money but also of pride! What say you?"
Pein was rare to express much outside a dead stare and monotone voice, but progressively through his dialogue his tone was flavoured with an uncharacteristic zeal and by the end of it, he was even out of his chair, slamming his hands upon the cold, metal conference table. This colourful animation in their leader was positively received by the other members and the collective enthusiasm in the room was pliable.
"Let's do this, man!" Jūzō exclaimed, cupping his hands around his mouth while Kisame grinned and clapped.
"We're gonna make them fuckers regret fuckin' wit' us," Sasori declared, metal joints in his tail rattling in a war cry.
Pein sat down, a little frazzled by his own outburst as he ran a hand obsessively over his cloak. Konan, meanwhile, laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled. Nagato was such a timid person, especially with his own members, so to see him so passionate and in turn, getting the Akatsuki so too, she was proud of him.
"So, what's the plan?" Kakuzu asked once all the hoopla had quieted down.
Pein cleared his throat so to collect himself and fall back onto his stoic persona. "You are to be partnered up and destinated a target to eliminate. Orochimaru, since you have preestablished ties with Father, you and Sasori are to go in an—"
"Oh no no no! I cannot go after Father," Orochimaru interrupted, looking aghast at the mere suggestion. "If my involvement with his murder was ever learned of, no one would ever do business with me again! And howelse am I meant to get sl—ahem, subjects for my experiments?"
Pein blinked, slightly taken back by such…information? That put a wrench in his plans. "Well then. Sasori will—"
"Also, if you remember, Yahiko, I only have one invitation so we cannot get two members in," She continued, not only using his name but also daring to employ an impudent tone with him as if he were still a child—or dumb. Lately the latter. Or both. Definitely both.
"Understandable. I—"
"However!" At this point, Pein gave up trying to talk and let Orochimaru finish, almost throwing his hands up in frustration in the process. "You can get in two members if one of them is a pet."
"A…pet?"
"Yes, yes, it's just the term for a slave used for companionship," Orochimaru explained with a dismissive hand wave as if this were common knowledge. "Pets don't require invitation so long their masters have one."
"So, in order to get two members into this gala with one invitation, one of them must present themselves as a…pet, correct?" Pein asked, a mild impatience leaking through due to the elder's habitual disruptions.
"In that case, I'll go an' bring Zetsu to be my lil' bitch. I'll git you a collar bedazzled wit' yet name an' everythin'. Oh, an' a muzzle fer yer ugly, lil' face so you don't bite no one's arms er legs off," Sasori cackled. Zetsu granted him no pleasure in getting a reaction out of her while Kakuzu glowered at the other man due to the lewd suggestion.
"No, I am not having that," Pein knew well that partnering Sasori and Zetsu up was asking for misfortune as Sasori would only use the mission as an excuse to try and kill Zetsu instead of their target. He did not want to lose this opportunity of offing Father nor losing Zetsu. Though, while he was confident Sasori could not, in fact, murder Zetsu, he wasn't risking it, either way. "In that case, Kakuzu—I would instead like you to go after Father. You should perfectly blend in due to your knowledge of politics and economics," Pein said. He didn't want the older man thinking he was nominating him due to the mistaken implications that he looked like he trafficked human beings, oh no.
Kakuzu gave an apathetic shrug. "Sure, I can bullshit with the likes of politicians and trust-fund babies."
"Sir Leader, if I may," Zetsu interjected quietly, effectively getting Pein's attention. "I would like to volunteer myself to go with Sir—Kakuzu,"
"Bawws, so you'll go wit' yer daddy but not me? Yer breakin' me 'eart over here, woman." Sasori bemoaned and fake sniffled upon the rejection. This time it did garner a glance from the Mayfly user, if only due to the use of the word "daddy" in reference to her relationship between herself and Kakuzu. Even Kakuzu delivered him a dirty look for it—again.
"I accept," Pein stated, eager to usher the conversation along as he was getting quite exhausted of the back and forth involving Orochimaru and Sasori. In the background, Nagato was planning a hard-earned nap after all this. "You are both to go this gala, locate Father and eliminate him. And since Kakuzu is partnered with Zetsu—Gine, I am sending you with Orochimaru to go to Yugakure and take care of the Mistress—"
"Excuse me. Are you saying I look like a dosser?" Orochimaru adamantly protested. "Maybe her but not me!" Pein just sighed, laying his palm against his forehead as he felt the thundering approach of a headache coming on. Gine, hearing Orochimaru indicate that she looked like a prostitute caused the pale-haired woman to glare past Kakuzu at her, eyes bleeding red with the Ketsuryūgan.
"At least mine are real," Gine hissed in a semi-whisper though loud enough that it was heard by all. All of a sudden, there was an icy chill in the air as if the temperature in the room had just plunged fifty degrees.
Immediately, Orochimaru's head snapped towards her, cracking off like a gunshot. "What did you say, bitch?" She snarled, red lips quirking back over snake-level canines and the naga's gaze so maleficent it rivaled the other woman's Kekkei Genkai.
Sensing the suffocating tension and due to Pein's sluggish response from pure exasperation, Konan used her position as second-in-command to intermediate. "Stop, both of you!" She reprimanded the two women, standing up from her seat and slapping her hands onto the table which reverbed off the metal walls. She was prepared to intercede if need be. The last thing the Akatsuki needed in this time of external strife was an internal strife too.
Taking the cue, Sasori lifted his tail to obstruct Orochimaru while Kakuzu grabbed Gine's arm and squeezed hard, silently warning her too to back down. Thankfully, it succeeded as both females conceded after several tense seconds; Gine switched off her Blood Dragon Eye and wrenched Kakuzu's invasive hand off while Orochimaru just huffed with lower lip puckered out. Satisfied, Konan sat back down.
"She's just jealous 'cause yer prettier than 'er an' got bigger tits," Sasori whispered to his other half in a lame attempt at comfort, patting the spade of his tail against her shoulder.
"Shut the fuck up, Sasori." Orochimaru snapped and rudely smacked the pincer away, causing it to flinch back as if she slapped him across the face.
Seeing this, Jūzō looked at Kisame. "Nah, dude. This is like, way better than my soaps," He said and the two men erupted into hysterics again, earning a glare from Sasori since they were making him the butt of their little joke.
"Thank you," Pein mumbled to Konan once he was back "online". Nagato confessed that every once and awhile he had to disconnect from the Deva Path to gather himself lest he Shinra Tensei the whole Akatsuki out the window. "As I was saying: Orochimaru, Gine, you are to go to Yugakure after the Mistress. No ifs, ands, or buts."
"But—"
"No ifs, ands, or buts!" Pein said sharply at Orochimaru, pointing a finger at the Sannin and Rinnegan milliseconds from blasting from here back to Konoha if she interrupted him one more time. Begrudgingly, Orochimaru said nothing else, just clicking her tongue against her teeth instead with a mutter of 'rude'. Pein ignored her. "Anyway, that leaves Kisame and Jūzō to go to this Yamigakure to find and execute the Overseer—"
"Oi, oi, oi! Wut 'bout me?" Sasori interjected which genuinely took Pein off guard. Not due to the infringement upon what he was saying—again —but due to the fact that the leader had honestly forgotten about the puppeteer. His original intention was to send each partnership after an individual target but since Zetsu had elected to join Kakuzu, it had thrown that original idea out of the window. He hadn't intended for Zetsu to go in at all except maybe for surveillance. So, now everything was discombobulated. Oh yes, Nagato needed a very long nap after this.
"Oh, yes…" Pein said, looking down at his notes and trying to figure out where to slot the redhead through the clusterfuck of his own thoughts as his head was subject to a barbarous headache.
"Hmm, he can come with us," Kisame offered, jabbing a thumb in Sasori's direction, and looking at Jūzō who just shrugged since he didn't care either way. "It'll make three of us but the more the merrier, aye?"
"I…suppose that will be fine. Yes, that is fine," Pein agreed, nodding.
"Oi, ya seriously sendin' me with them drongos?"
"Hey dude, we ain't no donuts, bro." Jūzō quipped in objection to the name. Sasori just stared at the swordsman for a long moment in dumbfoundment.
"You are to join Kisame and Jūzō to Yamigakure and that is final," Pein announced, acting as if he did not see it when Sasori's disbelieving gaze switched to him. At this point, he just wanted this meeting over and done with and wasn't taking anymore bullshit.
"In that case, I'm going with Orochimaru and Gine,"
Pein looked at Konan, a little wide-eyed at the unexpected announcement. While the relationship between them and Orochimaru had improved, if by barely, it was still a surprise to hear Konan to enlist herself voluntarily on a mission with Orochimaru. "Konan, you do not have to," But she insisted otherwise with a shake of her head.
"It is fine and as Kisame put it: the more the merrier." Kisame grinned at the origamitress's use of his idiom, tickled pink by it—purple? Jūzō elbowed his ningyo partner, jokingly but also not so much since Kisame knew he liked Konan.
"I—very well, if that is your choice," Ordinarily, Pein may've argued with Konan on this but he was exhausted and also learned from past incidents that she was a woman not to be trifled with when it to having her wishes or opinions ignored. Besides, maybe if Konan went then she could prevent Orochimaru and Gine from killing each other since now after each other's lives over the authenticity of their breasts. Women, he may never understand them.
Upon hearing her favourite student of that day was accompanying them, Orochimaru visibly perked up. "Oh, brilliant! We can do each other's hair and make-up and—oh! You can sew us up kimonos to wear! Oh, this is going to such a bonding experience for us, innit?" It sounded like she was talking about a fun sleepover rather than a mission to destabilize the world's largest slave trade. Konan may or may not be instantly regretting agreeing to this, definitely the former.
"Before we conclude this meeting, does anyone have anything to speak on? Complaints excluded," Pein eyeballed Sasori in particular who just swiveled his prosthetic eyes in a circle. He thought Gine may try to object but the Chinoike was too occupied with glaring a hole in the table. Besides that, no one else had an issue or inquiry to voice. "I just want to make it clear again: I care not what must be done to accomplish this nor who must die, be it innocent or otherwise. All I care of is that those which dared to challenge the Akatsuki are dealt with and made an example of. After that, there shall be no competition left to stand against us and we can execute the second part of the three-step process to achieve the organization's ultimate objective,"
Upon the friendly, little reminder of what that end objective was, there was a quiet uneasiness felt by the senior members of the organization with a few glances between. The others felt the joint anxiety but were clueless on the context nor was an explanation offered. Once it got to the last part of said plan would Pein disclose it again but not at the moment.
"You are all dismissed and may you find success on your missions,"
…
AN: -insert Lord of the Rings "it's done" gif- Holy shit, I am sorry for how long it took to write this chapter. I'm not kidding when I say depression through last year massacred my inner author. But, finally, I'm back, baby! And with a mammoth of a chapter. Must be the largest I've written for awhile. It also starts off a mini-arc that I'm excited to write since a lotta drama, a lotta character development and just a few chapters until we meet our next member. Woot woot!
Here's to writing the next chapter and it not taking almost a year again!
Next Chapter: The Father, the Mistress, and the Overseer: Part 1.
Until Next Time.