Season 1 Episode 19: Battle Warriors

Episode Summary: Ford is shocked when his favorite novelist Warrior comes to life, and decides to use the warrior to his advantage to win a fight with Cooper.

Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls or the Relativity Falls AU idea.

Battle Warriors (Part 1)

Today was strangely for the Town of Gravity Falls Which was fine for Fids who decided he had, had enough adventure to last a life time. The Stan twins however were mighty disappointed in the lack of adventure and just didn't know what to do with themselves. It was gorgeous day out side with songs of birds carrying through the light summer's breeze and insects chirped under the early day's sun. The Mystery Shack currently stood empty of people. That day, Grauntie Mabel dressed up in her usual decked out sweater. She also had her sneakers on which told the twins they were about to close the shop early.

"Where are we going?" Stan asked as Mabel flipped the open sign to close.

"It's such a nice day out side." Mabel said. "You kids should be out having an adventure!"

"Unfortunately the Adventure train seems to be out of gas." Ford reported looking up from his latest book. It was Called Battle Warriors, a novel based on animal humanoids that went on epic quest to save the world. Ford have been reading them as part of the summer reading program during his down time at the Shack. It was by far his favorite series, even though he had never read the original novel the series was based off of.

Not that he didn't try, Battle Warriors: The Epic Quest Begins wasn't as popular as the rest of the series. Which meant only a few copies were ever made, and Ford had searched high and low at every book store and book fair with no luck.

"We'll I for one am happy for the break." Fids admitted.

"No one asked you Fids." Stan growled half-jokingly.

"Silly boys." Mabel said. "You don't need to go on an epic quest fighting elves to have an adventure." She teased.

"It was Gnomes!" Ford said, blushing slightly. He and Stan had made the mistake of telling Aunt Mabel about their adventures. She of course thought they were just really good stories that the twins and their friends acted out during their time off. Ford assumed that was for the best, after all he doubted Grauntie Mabel would ever let them out of her sight again if she knew the truth.

However, what he doesn't know is Mabel knows the stories are true, and the fact that the Twins were getting tangled in the supernatural world of this town worried her. 'I'll take them somewhere normal and fun.' She decided as the boys got ready. 'Then hopefully they'll forget all about the "Real Adventures."'

"Okay, kiddos!" She announced. "We're going to the Arcade!"

That got them moving and in what felt like seconds later the Stan twins and Fids found themselves in the Middle of Gravity Falls Arcade.

Heather and Susan were also there having received a text from Stan. Buddy however had to decline the offer. Something about preparing for a new show at the Tent of Telepathy with his family. Stan of course wished him well, and even added that he hoped his sister finally forgave him for befriending the Pines family.

Buddy said it was doubtful, but he appreciated the words none the less.

Mabel gave the kids a few quarters and said. "Have some fun Kids."

"Thanks, Grauntie Mabel!"

"Aw, thanks, Mrs. Pines!"

Of course the group ran straight over to where they expected the more exciting games would be- the fighting games. Heather suggested a game called "Fight Fighters" And the group took turns battling each other.

Susan and Fids went first, where Susan surprisingly won for such a soft spoken girl. Her victory stunned Stan, and made her a thousand times cooler in his eyes. Next Susan took on Stan and to everyone's amazement they ended in a draw.

Finally it was Ford Vs Heather!

"Oh you're going down!" Heather teased.

"I'm tougher then I look." Ford warned as they placed their quarters in.

"We'll see." Heather said with a sly smile as they took the controls to choose their characters.

Ford Chose Rumble McSkirmish and Heather chose N-Buffalo.

Both players were really buff and shirtless.

At once, the scene changed to a very old Japanese style yard and house with a forest behind it. A large white cat with one paw raised, eyes closed, and a smile on its face, was in the background.

"ROUND ONE!" The game announced. "FIIIIGHT!"

Kicks and punches and lightning were used as Heather and Ford mashed the four buttons and moved the red handle in jerky movements to control their characters.

"Eh-ha! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go! Go!" Ford laughed.

"Go Buffalo" Heather cheered on her character as well.

Ford Laughed and with one last "Kick-kick! Punch! Punch!"

The screen prompted in blood red letters: defeated N. Buffalo. "K.O."

The screen flicked to one showing off Rumble, hands in the air, and spinning in a circle with his name at the top. "THE WINNER IS: RUMBLE MCSKIRMISH!"

Proudly, Rumble posed with two fingers in the air and winked, one hand on his hip and the other extended with two fingers out. "WINNERS DON'T LOSE!"

"Uh, what? You cheated!" Heather accused.

Now Ford raised his fists in front of himself and mimicked Rumble's voice said. "You take that back!" The two laughed.

Suddenly cutting them off, the machine yelled, "ROUND TWO!"

"Ha! I'm going to punch the ref." heather said using her fighter to jump and kick and punched at the ref, who was part of the background and untouchable.

Blaring in as swift and energetic a voice as ever, the machine announced "FIGHT!"

"Uh-huh! Let's gang up on him!" Ford agreed and started doing the same.

Behind them taping up posters advertising his new band was Cooper. Upon noticing Heather and Ford, he smiled a wide, sly grin and called, "Heather! Hey! What's up?" He put an arm around her and held up a poster nonchalantly. "Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie."

"Cool. Hey, Coop, Ford was just playing this great game with me." Heather nodded to the FIGHT FIGHTERS game they were playing.

"Ah-hah, yeah, sweet, sweet." he let go and walked around to Heather's other side. He scooted Ford back a few steps. "Hey, how about you sit this one out, okay, champ?"

Not at all amused, or surprised, Ford complained, "But we just started this round."

"Sa-ay, hey! Relax, kid, I'm just trying to spend a little time with my Girlfriend, alright?" Cooper set a hand on his hip and the other on the game machine.

"We'll restart our round." Heather told Ford giving him an apologetic look. She really wanted things to work out with Cooper, but she could already tell that he hadn't changed as much as he promised.

"Oh okay." Ford said, doing his best to accept Heather's judgment even though he couldn't stand Cooper.

Focusing back on the game, Heather began to talk to Cooper. "So, hey. I'm going out of town tomorrow with my mom so, I won't be around."

"Oh, cool, cool, watch out!" Copper put an arm over Heather's shoulder and shot a subtle smirk back at Fords before turning back to the game.

Really? Ford shook his head in disbelief, ever since Cooper had started dating Heather it was like some secret battle line had been drawn between them.

"Dude he actually feels threatened by you." Stan whispered to his brother.

"What no it'd not like that." Ford tried to explain.

"Maybe not for you." Fids cut in. "But Cooper man he is feeling the heat."

"Wow." Stan looks impressed. "My brother inducing some love sick fool to fight him for a girl." He fake sniffled. "I'm so proud."

"We're not fight over her." Ford argued.

"Boys." Susan rolled her eyes. "Why can't you guys hate each other in silence?" She asked. "We girls do it all the time, and it's much more civilized."

"We're not fight over her." Ford repeated as he looked back over at Cooper.

Cooper gives him another sly smile telling Ford he heard the whole thing.

Ford's eyes narrowed.

"OPPONENT SIGHTED!" the game declared. "FIGHT!"

(The Next Day…)

Down in the living room the next day, Grauntie Mabel, Stanley, Stanford, and Fids gathered around a table with a deck of cards and a few piles of Chipackerz to play poker. Gompers sat on a box next to Ford. Stan, a smug smile on his face, put down two kings. "King me!" Ford and Fids put down their cards with a huff.

"It's no fair! I just taught him this game!" Grauntie Mabel exclaimed.

Stan pulled the pile of Chipackerz close to himself. "What can I say? I'm a card playing wizard!"

The lamp above them shuttered as a raucously loud song started playing outside. Fids looked about. "What's that?"

"Heather~!" Cooper's voice carried in from outside.

"Ugh, sounds like Cooper," Ford grumbled.

"Is that the boy that keeps making goo-goo eyes at Heather?" Grauntie Mabel prompted.

Fids nodded. "He called me short stack, once. I mean, I know I'm short, but it still hurt."

Stan petted Gompers. "Want me to sic Gompers on her again?" Gompers reached up and chewed on his shirt. "Ha-ha! Easy there!"

Ford pushed himself away from the table and stood up. "I'll handle it."

"OOOOO" Stan and Fids said in unison.

"This ought to be good," Grauntie Mabel chuckled.

"I hope he doesn't get himself hurt," Fids fretted.

"I'm so proud of him!" Stan declared.

Outside, Cooper had one foot on a speaker and played his fancy black guitar that was connected to it through a wire. "Heather! Heather, Heather!" he stopped playing. "Come on out! Come on down!"

Ford crossed his arms and stopped in front of her. "You realize she's not here, right?"

"Yes!" Cooper scoffed and then hesitated. "…what?"

"She went out with her mom today," Ford stated, then muttered under his breath, "And if you'd listen to her every once in a while, you'd know that."

"What was that?" Cooper bristled and set his foot on the grass.

Ford cleared his throat. "I said that she's not here."

"Oh No I heard you, ho ho! You want to get into it, don't you?" Cooper prompted with an irritated sneer. "Then let's get into it, kid! You think I don't know what's going on?" He poked him in the chest and stalked forward, admittedly causing Ford to take a few steps back. "It's pretty obvious you don't want us dating, huh? Isn't that right?"

"No I just…" Ford stammered.

"You think I don't notice all those looks you give her?" Cooper went on. "You have a thing for my girl."

"What no." Ford lied. "We're just friends." He assured him.

"Honestly I don't know why she hangs out with you dorks." Cooper went on.

"Leave my brother and Fids out of this!" Ford warned.

"Or what?" Cooper challenged and pulled out his phone. "She doesn't like you like that and I'll prove it."

"What are you doing?" Ford asked as Cooper dialed a number.

"Calling Heather to tell her about your little crush." He sneered.

"Hello?" A voice came on the other line.

"Hey Babe." Cooper began, but suddenly Ford smacked the phone out of his hand and it hit a tree shattering it. "My Phone!" he screamed and then grabbed Ford by the front of his shirt and yanked him up. "You little."

Ford gulped. "It was an accident!"

"Oh no." Copper said you started this." He pulled back his fist and…

"Hey I see you!" Stan shouted from the opened Shack door. "You wait right there!" He ran back in.

Cooper snatched his phone and threw Ford down. "You. Me. Circle Park. Three o-clock. We finish this." He stalked off, grabbing his guitar and speakers as he went.

Moments later Stan returned with a camera. "Aw man he left!"

"You were going to fill him beating me up?" Ford yelled in disbelief.

"No I thought you'd use those boxing lessons Dad put us through and show him what for." Stan said looking disappointed. "You could totally take that guy and this video would be perfect black mail to keep him away from Heather."

"No Stan I'm not going to fight him." Ford argued.

"Why not?" Stan asked.

"Heather would never forgive me." Ford said as they walked back inside.

"He'll hunt you down and beat you up if you don't show." Stan said. "But if you fight him and win we can also use the video to scare all the bullies back at home."

Ford had to admit it was tempting, but, "No." He shook his head with his arms crossed tight, eyes narrowed in a glare, and hands clenched. "Uh He's so insufferable! How can anyone like a man like that? What's his problem, anyway? He thinks he can pick on anyone smaller than him?"

Grauntie Mabel shook her head. "Maybe you boys should just hate each other in secret. That works, too."

"Hey Susan said the same thing yesterday." Stan realized. " But that's what girls do."

Grauntie Mabel nodded. "Yep! And it's surprisingly effective."

"Oh, yeah, and we can trade dresses, too," Stan agreed with a roll of his eyes.

Fids shook his head. "I don't know, Stan maybe Ford should just hide in here. Teenagers are dangerous. Those hormones turn them into a killing machines! One of my cousins, Thistlebert, said he got into a fight with a teenager. He tore Thistle apart! He had to stay in the hospital for a week! We were just talking' about it. I know for a fact teenagers can be real dangerous."

Stan scoffed, "Please! I fought teenagers before- ones way bigger and stronger than Cooper."

"Yeah you." Ford said. "Not me!" he grabbed his bag and headed out the door.

"Where are you going?" Stan asked.

"To hide in the Library." Ford answered. "You're the fighter of the family, not me Stan."

"But…" Stan began, but Ford was already out the door. He sighed. "Guess I got to fight Cooper for him."

"Stan." Mabel warned.

"No it's okay." Stan assured her. "I always fight for him."

Grauntie Mabel shook her head and sighed. "I know Stan, you're strong and your determined. But you're brother needs to learn to fight his own battles his own way."

Stan sighed as well. "I've been telling him that for years, but he doesn't fight, even though I know he can."

"Maybe we should go be with him." Fids said.

Stan and fids go to leave.

"Stan promise me you'll let Ford handle this one."

"Fine." Stan said. "I won't get involved. But I'm telling you He won't stand up for himself. He never does."

"Who knows?" Mabel said with a smile. "He might just surprise you."

"Doubtful." Stan said as he and Fids left, However before the day was done Stan would soon learn that Ford was capable of a lot more than he ever thought possible.

Author's Notes: Tune in next week to find out what happens next!

Thanks again for reading and please review!

Yours Truly, RoxieDivine ;)