THE FULL FACE MASKS WITH THE TEENY EYESLITS MEANS YOU DAILY RISK FALLING INTO THE TIGER PIT, A WAR ELEPHANT IN FULL ARMOR CAN SNEAK UP ON YOU, AND IT GETS TOTALLY DISGUSTING INSIDE THERE DURING ALLERGY SEASON. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH STICKING OUT YOUR TONGUE AT AN UNKNOWING DARK LORD SAYING SOMETHING STUPID.
METAL CODPIECES CONDUCT HEAT VERY WELL. AVOID BONFIRES, LASER BEAMS, AND GUYS WITH A DESTINY WIELDING THEIR FLAMING SWORDS.
WHEN PROTECTING THE SUPERVILLAIN'S COMPUTER CENTER, WEAR NERDY CLOTHES UNDER YOUR GUARD OUTFIT, PUT THE THICKEST CLEAR GLASSES YOU CAN FIND IN YOUR POCKET, AND PRACTICE QUICK CHANGES. WHEN THE HERO AND HIS BAND OF BROTHERS RAID THE PLACE, THE GUARDS ARE ALWAYS TARGETED, BUT THE GOOD GUYS PREFER TO SHOOT UP THE BIG MACHINES WITH THE FLASHING LIGHTS INSTEAD OF THE LESS SPORTING TECHNICIAN GEEKS DIVING UNDER THEIR DESKS, YOU INCLUDED.
THE TRAMP AND CLATTER OF YOUR ALL-STEEL BOOTS ON YOUR ROUNDS MAKES THE BOSS FEEL REALLY MANLY. IT ALSO SENDS A WARNING TO THE RESISTANCE SNEAKING INTO THE CASTLE, WHICH IS ACTUALLY JUST FINE. LET THE OTHER GUARD BE THE ONE TO ACQUIRE A CONCUSSION.
RIG UP A QUICK-RELEASE CLIP FOR YOUR KILT, AND MAKE SURE TO DRESS IN THE MOST RIDICULOUS UNDERWEAR POSSIBLE. NOBODY EVER KILLS THE GUY WHOSE PANTS FALL DOWN DURING THE FINAL BATTLE, THEY ALWAYS LAUGH AND ALLOW YOU TO RUN AWAY.