Summary: If you wanted a Sunnydale High student to come up with the most deceitful and utterly malicious prank ever inflicted upon a certain principal, Xander Harris was always ready to offer his suggestions. All of them. At full volume. From a really big list.
Author's Note: The artwork which inspired this story is attributed to the artistic genius known as Isaiah Stephens on (who is himself clearly a serious fan of Buffy, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and crossovers - many crossovers). This is definitely an AU story due to some Buffyverse residents who weren't around during Halloween in the canon series, and also how additional mentioned individuals manage to make an appearance well before their actual introduction in other dimensions. Just go with it, okay?
Several minutes ago, the Snyder-Must-Suffer-Society had spontaneously formed into existence among the dozen or so people crammed inside the school library, elected Rupert Giles as their leader, and committed themselves to get some measure of satisfactory revenge against the contemptible little tyrant who'd just ruined everyone's Halloween. Before whomever he'd caught this morning were ordered by Snyder to do it, nobody had any plans to spend the holiday chaperoning the town's younger children during their trick-or-treating on that night, but His Baldness had with malice aforethought volunteered them all for this horrible job.
Payback was definitely necessary, but even a seated Giles at his workplace formerly glowering at the principal's note lying upon his desktop informing him he'd been selected along with Ms. Calendar to organize the whole thing was becoming a bit unsettled by what he'd just heard being proposed by one of the fuming students. It was indeed correct that back in his native England during the Dark Ages several local churches had skinned alive captured Viking pirates and nailed these blood-dripping hides to the building doors as a warning to any other possible evildoers, but Giles didn't think this was legal nowadays even in California.
Fortunately, in the middle of quite enthusiastic shouts of approval from the rest of the room, a dissenting voice spoke.
"Guys, I've got a much better idea. How about, we really spoil Snyder's scheme to stick it to us by taking over his big try at wrecking Halloween?"
Xander looked around at the book-filled room, whose occupants were one and all staring back at him in evident bafflement. Obviously, more needed to be said, so the teenager explained further.
"The trick is, we cooperate by showing up, going to the open houses with the kids, and do it all while wearing our Halloween outfits. That way, Snyder can't claim we flat out disobeyed him - but the costumes we have on will still piss him off since we'll be putting our own spin on them."
At the forefront of the crowd with her minions (naturally), Cordelia Chase declared in her usual disdain directed at the King of Cretins, "What, you mean dressing up in Halloween stuff for adults only, with sexy styles like lots of cleavage and ultra-short skirts, that kind of thing? How could we possibly get away with it? The instant Snyder sees anybody wearing inappropriate costumes, he'll explode! You might be used to spending your whole life in detention, Harris, but I'm not joining you there!"
Rumbles of agreement came from the crowd, only to soon quiet at seeing Xander's gleefully triumphant smirk. This was accompanied by him replying to Cordelia in his smuggest tone, "Oh, no, not at all, Your Highness. It's true I wouldn't mind seeing you walking through Sunnydale as a Playboy bunny, a harem girl, a biker chick-"
The definitely vicious glare he then received from the richest young lady in SHS made Xander hastily cut short his happy recital of what specific drool-worthy attire Cordelia could appear in tomorrow night. After performing a nervous gulp, Xander tried again. "Look, here's the way it'll work. You're right, there's no chance of us getting away with what you said, or otherwise coming to school dressed as some kind of monster, serial killer, or any movie or television bad guy who'll be sure to offend our dearly beloved principal. So…where does that leave us? I'll tell you: a bunch of us wearing the most harmless costumes worn in the first place by characters created by a certain family-friendly corporation. Then we combine that with yet another costume to turn the original character into someone else. If Snyder doesn't buy it, he'll have to argue about the whole thing in front of a couple dozen parents bringing their kids. Nope, I figure chrome-dome won't have any choice but to clam up right then and there or risk upsetting somebody who'll complain about him to the school board."
Deciding it was well past time to interject a modicum of sanity into the conversation, Giles cleared his throat. "Er, Xander, I'm still not clear as to what exactly is your proposal. Could you give me an example of just whom you're referring to, regarding a character I could portray with a minimum loss of dignity?"
This time, Xander's smile was one of pure evil, especially when he next purred at a worried Giles, "No problem…Milo."
Forty-eight very stressful hours later, Giles was once again seated behind his library desk. This time, however, he was hunched forward over the top of this furniture, elbows resting there while holding his aching head with both hands. Soon enough, one hand moved away from there to instead reach for his neck to irritably adjust the extremely long scarf wrapped around this part of his body so he could breath easier. Giles then went back to glumly studying the desktop in a vain attempt to ignore who else were presently sharing the library with him.
Eventually, he realized his deep sulk wasn't actually impressing anyone, so Giles straightened up and leaned back in his chair. Looking around the library, this Englishman had to admit that perhaps it needn't be such a bad thing he was now the only unaffected person in the room. After all, going to a completely mundane Sunnydale costume shop where Giles had purchased the garments needed to depict both a Smithsonian Institute cartographer and linguist along with the fourth Doctor Who ensured his personality hadn't been completely overwritten by a Time Lord's mind last night.
Unlike any of the others here now. At least they no longer mostly possessed the combined intelligences and mental traits of the characters whose sets of double costumes bloody Ethan Rayne had cheerfully sold them two days ago, God rot him. On the other hand, not even that damn Chaos mage who'd successfully fled after the Janus statuette had been smashed could've predicted the physical changes - along with the associated abilities - would still manifest themselves when all the other Hellmouth victims went back to normal.
Giles once again wearily examined the others in the room, starting from his left to the right.
At the side corner, Willow and Cordelia were yet holding another icy stare-down, the latest of many now that neither superheroine would admit to being weaker than the other. In her flawless Snow White hairstyle with its black as ebony coiffure, held in place by a red ribbon tied in a bow at the top of her head Cordelia clad in a Wonder Woman costume which included a famous golden lasso attached to her belt was presently resting both fists upon her hips, nearly nose to nose with another girl also altered by magic last night.
Willow's own hairstyle was much longer and even redder than her previous auburn locks, plus the white streak above her forehead added another different color. A full-length green and gold costume covered all of the Jewish girl's body except for her exposed face currently set in a disdainful expression while eyeing Cordelia.
Oh, well, Giles consoled himself, even if young Willow now had to make sure she didn't accidentally touch someone lest she absorb their life energy, it was far preferable than having to listen to her speak with both an American Southern accent and a Scottish Highlands burr. Merida and Rogue hadn't been on the best of terms anytime last night, in fact.
Giles next shifted his gaze to one of the library couches where another bizarre pair were much more amiably chatting together. In her Sailor Moon costume with Rapunzel's lengthy pigtails draped over the back of the couch, Harmony was giggling at Quasimodo's exaggerated compliments delivered in Austin Power's most charming style, down to the exaggerated hand-waving Jonathan was now performing which caused the lace at Austin's Edwardian suitcuffs to flutter to and fro. Any high school bully who might sneer at this misshapen teenager dressed up right out of the swinging sixties should also remember years of ringing Notre Dame's bells had turned a hunchbacked body into pure muscle.
Equally affable was the discussion on the other couch opposite by Faith dressed in her Raven cloak and black leotard with its midnight-dark cloth outlining the pale flesh criss-crossed with numerous stitches matching those of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas. She went on speaking in a composed voice to the young man sprawled there and resembling a half-lion, half-man…with bright green fur. Thankfully, Daniel Osbourne, who now referred to himself as Hulk-Beast, became stronger the calmer he got. Since he'd always been pretty mellow even before going to Ethan's and paying for both a Disney costume and a can of emerald spray paint, it wasn't particularly difficult for Oz to keep his temper under control.
The sound of a furious argument between sisters then drew Giles' attention to the rear portion of the library. His Slayer, dressed in the famous Alice costume with its puffed sleeves, knee-length blue dress, white stockings, black shoes, and a starched pinafore with the words 'Bite Me!' embroidered onto this last garment also encircled by a diagonal bandolier filled with stakes and holy water bottles, was now shaking her fist upwards at the ceiling. Floating high up there, Dawn Summers stuck out her tongue down at her older sibling, and swooped mockingly towards the other corner. Apparently the Wendy costume she'd picked out when forced to accompany Buffy to Ethan's when Mrs. Summers went away on business just before Halloween still imbued Dawn with the power of flight.
Even if she'd also picked the Princess Leia wig with curled side braids and the metal belt with its holstered blaster and attached lightsaber, the Force now let down Dawn. This younger sister wasn't fast enough to avoid being grabbed by Buffy and hauled back down to the floor, not when Buffy instantly grew three times as taller than a second before and then shrank back to her regular height, carrying along Dawn struggling in Buffy's fierce grip. Once Buffy let go, Dawn got into it with her big sister, continuing without pause the quarrel they'd already been busy with, over who'd be the one to tell Mom about last night.
Giles watched all this with a definite grumpy air. Honestly, no matter how Buffy took an ecstatic delight in seeing how often she could switch from growing or shrinking, it would've been best if she'd instead retained how to brew a decent cup of tea like any other British lass. He inwardly mourned the loss of someone else in Sunnydale who understood the proper method of boiling the water and adding the leaves.
Still contemplating the unfairness of life, Giles felt a kind hand patting several times onto his right shoulder. He turned his head in surprise, only to see again that perhaps things weren't all that bad.
Standing there, Jenny Calendar felt an inner warm glow at how the distinguished man in his chair had a rather glazed expression pass over his features at how near she was by him. It was really fun how hard she could make Rupert polish his glasses, wearing the lenses down a bit with every nervous rub of a handkerchief. It more than made up for unknowingly walking right into a Chaos mage's costume shop, without ever noticing the place was being used for the main focus of the extremely powerful supernatural prank planned by one of Janus' acolytes. If Janna Kalderash's Gypsy clan ever found out that little detail, it'd be embarrassing beyond belief.
Of course, this woman's same association with the Romany tribes had made a sardonic Jenny dress up as Esmeralda in the first place, even if nobody but her would get the joke. Wandering around the costume shop, Jenny couldn't decide whom to pick as a second costume, until she'd come across the weapons section in there. A set of fake Japanese samurai swords provided a sudden inspiration, which in turn led to these plastic blades turning into the genuine article, along with all the fighting skills Michonne had gained from living in a world of the walking dead.
Even after these other ladies had mostly faded out from her head, Jenny could still cut off with a single casual swipe the wings and nothing else from a fly buzzing past. Considering this was the Boca del Infierno, that was a talent to be treasured. It also didn't hurt that Giles had nearly swallowed his tongue while watching how Ms. Calendar had impressively wiped out a vampire pack last night in between her sexiest dance moves. Now, if only she could get rid of the conviction a goat needed to be part of the act-
The front door of the library slammed open, causing everyone inside to stare at where a bare-chested young man dressed in a minimal brown leather vest and oversized white cloth pants swaggered into the room, shoeless feet slapping onto the linoleum. An electric-yellow monkey perched atop a shoulder cheerfully chattered at all there, with this primate's tiny hand holding onto his master's baseball cap emblazoned on front with a symbol vaguely resembling a green 'C' capital letter.
Xander Harris, who'd gone on Halloween as a combined Aladdin and Ash Ketchum, gave the entire library a friendly wave, which wasn't reciprocated. Instead, the looks Xander got ranged from annoyance to actual anger, all due to the fact this was somehow his fault. Despite Xander previously arguing that, now wait a minute, it should be kept in mind a total pillock whose initials were ER had done the whole costume-changing stunt in the first place. Moreover, everybody here in the library, except for Giles, had decided on their own to buy an outfit or two from that dude's store. And what about G-man never mentioning he'd been best buddies with Mr. Sleaze in the past?
Glancing around, Xander knew he'd better come up with something good. Not to mention really, really quick, or any second now he was going to have the crap kicked out of him by a bunch of magically-changed people, most of 'em now able to punch their way out of a bank vault without any trouble.
Actually, Xander was feeling pretty confident. There was a good reason he'd picked Aladdin for half of a Halloween costume, what with that other guy going from street rat to living in a palace with his true love. All through the animated Disney movie, Aladdin had shown nothing less than sheer genius at talking his way out of difficult situations and when that didn't work, knowing when to run like hell. Just like Ash, too.
If nothing else succeeded, though, Xander was going to toss Abu-Pikachu into the middle of the room, and in between the lightning strikes, he'd make tracks towards the deepest hole possible and hide there until everyone cooled down. Not that it'd happen, right?
Plastering his most assertive grin across his face, Xander announced, "Hey, relax, people! I've got another idea, one that'll solve everyone's problems! You want to hear it or not?"