Author's Note: I wrote the following for a story challenge on Twisting the Hellmouth, where the writer had to come up with any possible way for a certain law-enforcement guy's boat to be moved out of the basement where it'd been built over the years. Nothing in the challenge said that Gibbs had to be happy over however it happened…

Leroy Jethro Gibbs did one last incredulous circuit around his boat, walking in his bathrobe, sleeping shorts, and slippers.

His fully-completed boat that had been in his basement only last night.

His fully-completed boat which was bright and early the next morning somehow now in this NCIS special agent's backyard, set upright and in perfect condition.

His fully-completed boat, 22 feet long and several tons of wood, metal, rope, sails, plus many other items that had been moved from underneath where Gibbs was peacefully sleeping to outside the house. All without waking up a seriously paranoid man with a good many enemies, setting off the home's security system, or disturbing the neighbors.

Warily stepping up to the boat's starboard side, Gibbs gave an experimental poke with his index finger to the closest plank of what he'd poured hundreds of hours of labor, sweat, and dreams.

Right after Gibbs' finger touched the woodwork, the entire boat dissolved with a squelching sound into a pile of knee-high brown sludge onto the backyard's ground.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Several hundred miles overhead in low-Earth orbit, Jack O'Neill sympathetically gazed at the Asgard spaceship's viewscreen where some grey-haired guy in his bathrobe was having a nervous breakdown. Turning away from the pitiful scene far away currently being observed by the spaceship sensors, O'Neill sent a baleful glower towards the only other person on the bridge, a Roswell-type Grey alien just over a yard high.

Just barely keeping from yelling at his short friend (who'd better have a really good explanation for this), O'Neill gritted, "Okay, Thor, ol' pal, what's going on?"

The leader of the Asgardians looked genuinely uncomfortable, before admitting, "O'Neill, I am afraid that Loki has been causing his mischief again."

Jack groaned. "Oh, for crying out loud! I thought you had that pint-sized kidnapper under control!"

Thor appeared even more pained when the next reluctant statement was dragged out from him. "Yes, about that…it was suggested by what you would describe as one of our psychologists that Loki take up some sort of hobby to keep him out of trouble. For reasons of his own, Loki chose to learn your race's recreational activity of piloting a wind-driven watercraft."

"Why would—" Stopping short at experiencing the onset of a very intense headache, Jack did a hasty verbal backpedal before his skull actually exploded. "Never mind, I don't want to know! Guess like everything else Loki got involved in, it went wrong as it possibly could?"

Giving a martyred sigh, Thor had to agree. "The only thing Loki successfully managed was to discreetly remove the original vessel via his ship's teleporters from the underground room of that unfortunate Tau'ri who had his property stolen. Loki then attempted to replace that taken item with a matter-scanned duplicate to cover up his crime. Unfortunately—"

"It worked just as well as all of Loki's previous cloning tries," sourly finished Jack, glancing at the viewscreen again. There, the bathrobed guy was kicking his way through the sludge pile in a desperate search for what'd clearly been his pride and joy before a loony alien from outer space had gotten involved.

A rather sheepish nod of agreement of Thor's head was followed up by a more optimistic, "While we were not able to prevent this from occurring, at least our global scans have narrowed down Loki's location in his stolen vessel to this specific area on your planet."

Thor gestured at the viewscreen, which changed from the guy standing in the middle of the now-empty backyard, bare legs covered with brown sludge, fists clenched at his side, and his maddened face showing that he was plotting serious revenge against whoever had done this.

Jack silently wished him lotsa luck in that. However, it was still unlikely to ever happen, given the whole extremely silly episode was going to be completely covered up for government security reasons. After all, it wouldn't do to tell the alarmed public at large that a for-real Roswell Grey had in the past actually abducted Earth humans for experimental science purposes, including one Jack O'Neill who had no definite recollection of the event but for once kept his curiosity under control about the whole anal probing thing…

Jack's attention was diverted from those embarrassing gaps in his memories around then to seeing the new picture on the viewscreen. It was a map of the entire Atlantic Ocean, where a bright red dot suddenly appeared on the lower left side. The viewscreen shifted to zoom into this scene, and Jack easily identified the location. This man's mood abruptly turned quite sardonic as a result

Not knowing of Jack's sudden change of mood, Thor worriedly announced, "We have located Loki sailing on his boat, but there are several other human-controlled vessels of the same type nearby. There is the possibility he may have already been observed—"

"Hey, relax, little buddy," interrupted Jack along with a breezy wave of his hand. "We completely lucked out. It doesn't matter if a whole fleet of Sunday sailors caught sight of him there, with everybody taking pictures in full color. No matter what they say or put on tape and then upload it on the Internet, nobody's gonna believe something that looks like ET's cousin decided to take a vacation cruise through the middle of the Bermuda Triangle in his sailboat."

Omake: After writing the above, a reviewer pointed out how it could be better by adding yet another crossover which I promptly did as they suggested.

By a truly amazing coincidence, Willow Rosenberg from the New Council is in the neighborhood on vacation at the exact same time everything goes down. Taking a walk past a certain house, she hears from there some very odd loud yelling, and peeks over the fence to observe a barely-dressed mature guy (that if she wasn't gay through-and-through would be giving her major hotness tingles) raving to himself over a puddle of brown goop in his backyard.

Starting to get even more curious when the older man storms back into his house, the Red Witch does a magical scan of the area and discovers a bunch of extremely strange energy residues coming from this puddle.

Not having the time to properly investigate during the usual apocalypse season, Willow instead uses her tremendous supernatural powers of enchanting things to turn the puddle back into what it was properly meant to be in the first place and leaves satisfied over how pretty the sailboat appears now.

Gibbs, on the other hand, is really not having a good day.

This might have to do with about fifteen minutes later, he comes into the back yard fully dressed, followed by his confused NCIS crew summoned ("Get here as fast as you can or be prepared to suffer for the rest of your lives") to find out what the hell happened to his boat, only to find it's there, exactly like new again.

McGee, Abby, Tony, and Ziva huddle together behind their gawking leader and hold a silent contest filled with urgent stares of you-do-it-not-me to avoid being the first one to ask if Gibbs is beginning to lose his marbles...

And just how did that boat get out of their turning-purple boss's basement, anyway?