General Hammond was waiting somewhat impatiently when the Stargate finally did its usual sideways flushing-toilet trick. O'Neill's team was several hours overdue in returning to Cheyenne Mountain, though the delay wasn't too alarming when compared to other occasions when Jack and his comrades stayed out of contact for far too long at more perilous locations.
Not that the planet called 'Managalavar' by its inhabitants seemed to be particularly dangerous. Descended from proto-Hindu tribes abducted by a minor Goa'uld lord, these people gained their freedom when this snake went up against a much more powerful System Lord and got so thoroughly annihilated, from a vaporized host down to the lowest-ranking Jaffa also reduced to nothing but a cloud of molecules drifting through space, that nobody was left alive to tell about a human world ripe for the taking by another Goa'uld.
Flourishing on their new home, the Managalavarians (or whatever they named themselves, which among other things SG-1 and their civilian language specialist were supposed to find out) expanded peacefully and developed their technology into what was estimated by the base's scientists to be about fifty years in advance of Earth at the present.
That made today's visit by SG-1 very important. Unlike other Stargate Command missions to various worlds, this wasn't a place where either nothing more advanced than primitive human cultures existed or the Ascended races living there wouldn't even bother hinting about the secrets of the cosmos to those Tau'ri barbarians. This time, there could be genuine trade in different knowledge between two civilizations almost equal to each other, along with the chance of becoming close allies in a hostile universe.
That is, if Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, and one other person new to the team didn't blow it.
From weary experience, General Hammond wasn't prepared to bet actual cash money regarding that desired outcome.
This commanding officer standing by in the Gate Room when five people now walked through the metal circle cast a rather skeptical gaze at his returning team, paying close attention to how they were behaving. That probably could tell him right away if the news from them would be good or bad. However…
Hammond inwardly groaned at seeing, in order:
- Colonel O'Neill's face was split in such a wide evil grin that this wicked smile appeared at any moment to run all the way around his head and meet at the rear of O'Neill's skull.
- Entirely unalike was Captain Carter's own totally blank expression, accompanied by continuous blinking. Hammond glumly recalled the instance one day when he'd overheard at the base cafeteria from two other scientists having lunch together that these were Carter's symptoms when she required a kind of brain re-boot after encountering something which really took her off guard, usually serious weirdness of some sort that couldn't be reduced into nice, clean math equations.
- As for Doctor Jackson, he was…pouting? On a scale of one to ten for acting like a sulky kindergarten kid told to stop eating the class crayons, Daniel was now well into full grouchhood.
- Thankfully, Teal'c seemed to be the same, striding along as calmly as ever. No, wait… Was that a honest-to-god amused quirk at the corners of that former First Prime's mouth?
- And for the last of them- Hammond had naturally come across in literature the phrase 'mad as a wet hen', but he'd never thought to see it in real life. At this point, though, their expert from some mysterious agency known as the ISWC was glaring around at everyone in the Gate Room as if she wanted to kill them all. Starting with somebody who should know better but never let that stop him.
Coming to a halt right in the middle of the room, Jack majestically pointed with a stiff index finger at a young woman sending back his way in turn a true look of death, "Ladies and gentlemen, we got a new winnah and champeen!"
Sensing that their expert was about to leap for his irrepressible subordinate's throat any second now, General Hammond cleared his throat loudly enough to get their attention and hold off the violence for the nonce. "All right, people, what happened on Managalavar?"
The team's reaction to this question was not…reassuring. Jack started laughing like a hyena, Carter sped up her eyeblinks, Daniel's sour mood turned even more petulant, and the language expert's fingers began flexing in preparation for yanking out that jackass's tongue.
Well, at least Teal'c did nothing more than maintain a very entertained twinkle in the massive man's eyes. All right, start with him.
Hammond ordered, "Please report, Teal'c."
"Certainly, GeneralHammond," nodded the Jaffa. His unruffled air actually tampering down the tense atmosphere in the Gate Room, Teal'c tilted his head toward the newest member of SG-1 and continued, "When DawnSummers appeared with us at the Managalavar's Stargate location with the ruling planetary board ready to greet SG-1, she was instantly labeled by them as the latest avatar of their most venerated goddess. In celebration, the planetary board declared a world-wide festival and were the first to commence the ceremony of welcome—"
O'Neill interrupted his friend by uncontrollably guffawing, "She was kidnapped by them inside thirty seconds! Danny-boy never even came close to that, in spite all the times he's been grabbed!"
Sending his own icy glower towards Jack having much too fun about this, Daniel Jackson grumbled, "There are quite a few cultures, even on Earth, with hospitality abductions! It's not a hostile act then, but rather an indication of friendship and generosity."
Gritting past her clenched teeth, Dr. Dawn Marie Summers, holder of the Hastings Chair in Ancient Languages from Cambridge, snarled at no one in particular, "Yeah, friendship and generosity is absolutely goddamn great, but not when it comes to being kidnapped again and again for the next six hours! There were groups competing with each other for doing it with the most style!"
This time, it was her directing an indignant finger at O'Neill. "That jerk managed to always show up at the last minute before I got snatched, but all he did was to take pictures of it and then wave goodbye until he had enough fun!"
Jack cheerfully patted his rear pants pocket with his camera phone safe and sound in there. "I really liked the one with the multi-man choreographed abseiling club. You just can't get good abseiling nowadays."
Samantha Carter let loose a quiet whimper.
Thinking longingly of the fresh, unopened jar of antacids in his desk drawer, Hammond reminded the man who was giving him a third ulcer, "Colonel, by any chance did you remember the original purpose of your mission? You know, the technology transfer, diplomatic relations, all that?"
"No worries, sir," Jack breezily said. "The Managalavar planetary board said they'd be happy to talk with us about everything. Oh, and it'd go even better if Doctor Summers comes back with the negotiating team—"
"FORGET IT!" shrieked Dawn, now storming past a surprised Hammond. Stopping short at the exit from the Gate Room, she swung around to beadily glare at everyone. In her stiffest tone, an expert in long-dead languages informed them all, "I know this is gonna come up eventually, so might as well as get it over with now. Not that Buffy and the rest will ever let me live it down, hah!"
The rest of the people in the room couldn't help but glance at each other over that puzzling last statement, until their attention was brought back to Dawn Summers now bitterly explaining, "In between all my kidnaps, I never did learn why that particular name was picked to identify their planet, but for the short version, Managalavar in Sanskrit means nothing more than 'Tuesday'!"