Xander Harris stared at the house ceiling. There was a sofa cushion embedded in it.

A soft clattering noise from lower down attracted Xander's attention. He shifted his incredulous gaze at where Buffy was holding the sofa turned over and giving that piece of furniture another good shake. When this didn't produce any more of what had just a moment ago fell out of the sofa, Buffy casually tossed it to one side.

Xander winced at the muffled thunk! of the sofa hitting the carpet and then rolling over to bounce off the wall. Buffy didn't seem notice this, what with eagerly gathering up all the loose change laying on their floor.

"Is Mom okay?" came in a ten-year-old's worried voice from the breakfast nook where Jesse was sitting there, ignoring his cereal getting all mushy. His twin Joyce took the opportunity to steal her brother's bowl and start spooning up another helping of Frosted Flakes.

Plastering a reassuring smile on his face while standing in the living room of the home of Mr. and Mrs. Harris, Xander told his kids, "Oh, sure. She's just kind of excited about something she just read in the paper, but your mother's probably going to calm down—"

Stalking past Xander while counting the change in her possession, Buffy said in her most disappointed tone, "…fifty, fifty-five, eighty, a buck twenty…not enough! Oooo, I know!"

"—pretty soon now," finished Xander, not really believing this particularly with the alarming way Buffy had just finished saying that. He watched his wife stride over to the weapons closet, pull open the door, and walk in there.

Mere moments inside there, a loud clatter of clashing metal began accompanied by Buffy's critical, "Nope, nope, yep, that too, who left this, nope, that'll do."

Leaving the closet with numerous swords, axes, and knives plus the Slayer Scythe presently strapped all over herself, Buffy smiled happily at her family gawking at a woman well equipped for war. "I'm going out for a while, guys. I don't think it'll take that long, but if I'm not back here by dinnertime, your Dad can order pizza tonight instead of this Friday."

"Yay!" cheered Jesse and Joyce. Mom doing Slayer stuff was totally routine, but pizza instead of meatloaf? It was their lucky day!

Xander caught up with the mother of their dearly beloved children at the front door when she had her hand on the doorknob. "Uh, Buff, just asking here—"

Bestowing a ferocious grin upon the man she'd finally realized years after Sunnydale's collapse was the one for her, Buffy explained, "Remember our last Council meeting when Wils showed us her scrying results on the latest demon evil overlord who's planning to attack the Cleveland Hellmouth?"

Pausing to check his memory of what the Red Witch had projected with her magic powers in the conference room, Xander frowned. "You mean the one with the really tacky crown and even worse taste in robes that we saw in his throne room?"

"Yup," beamed Buffy. "I figured, why wait? A quick teleport spell from Wils puts me there without any warning at all for those demons, and then it's the usual slice and dice thing. Even if some other jerk takes over, it'll buy us some time."

Rubbing his chin, Xander cast a skeptical gaze at where Buffy was in turn regarding him with perfect innocence. "And of course, you'll bring back a couple souvenirs for the kids?"

"Well, now that you mention it—"

"Would this maybe include not only that demon king's jeweled crown but the whole throne itself?"

Buffy batted her eyes at Xander who just seemed exasperated. "Don't see why not. It didn't look all that heavy!"

Xander glanced at the breakfast nook where Joyce and Jesse were peacefully squabbling away again just like brothers and sisters have done since forever. He then sarcastically reminded Buffy, "Suuuuure, it didn't. It's not like a Slayer's gonna have any trouble lugging along a solid-gold throne covered all over with diamonds the size of my fist!"

Buffy reached out and tenderly patted Xander's cheek. "I knew you'd understand, my perfectly wonderful, adorable Xanderkins!"

Bending down to kiss Buffy's forehead since hugging her risked being sliced open by one of her edged weapons, Xander sighed, "Fine. Do me a favor, all right? When Wils sets up your return spell, have her put you in the back yard. I'll have the hose ready to wash off all the demon blood from the throne before we pry out every diamond and melt down the gold."

'You think it'll be enough?" Buffy anxiously asked.

Xander shrugged. "Can't hurt to try. Anyway, you want your usual triple meat-lover's pizza?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, have fun storming the castle."

Closing the front door after Buffy joyously skipped out onto the sidewalk of their small house set in the New Council's Cleveland campus, Xander went back to the breakfast nook and took his place there once more at the head of the table where a crumpled sheet of newsprint rested. His scrambled eggs on their plate were cold now, but the newspaper headline in the business section which had started it all just minutes ago was distraction enough as Xander shoveled these into his mouth. He read again these words concerning a certain footwear merchant:

NOW ON SALE: JIMMY CHOO (THE WHOLE COMPANY)

The luxury shoe and bag retailer Jimmy Choo has put itself up for sale in a move that took the market by surprise.

The retailer said it had "decided to conduct a review of the various strategic options open to the company to maximise value for its shareholders" and that it was seeking offers for the business.

Stopping reading then to gaze off into the distance while his kids argued, Xander Harris silently hoped that Buffy would at least refrain from bringing home every single shoe in stock which Jimmy Choo offered when she bought the whole company. There just wasn't enough room here.

Author's Note: As reported on April 24, 2017, CNN Money indeed reported that the entire Jimmy Choo Company was on sale.