Author's Note: Doesn't match exactly how the Suicide Squad movie I recently saw on cable turns out, so just call it a potential AU version. By the way, yes, it's an overpowered/SuperXander! chapter. Deal with it.
In the ruins of a darkened Midway City save for the ominous glowing pillar of mystical energy coming from a half-mile ahead among the cluster of skyscrapers beyond, a group of people waited in the middle of one of the main streets strewn with wrecked cars. One of Amanda Waller's security detail came over and told her, "The special copter's two minutes out, ma'am. They said he didn't give them any trouble at all, even when the nano bomb was put in him at the supermax."
Colonel Rick Flag, leader of the Suicide Squad, looked up from where he'd been conferring with the remaining troopers on the best way to infiltrate Enchantress's lair. "Special copter? Who's coming here?"
Waller responded curtly, "Slipknot's replacement."
She glowered at the remaining highly dangerous lawbreakers there, each remembering all too well how this other criminal earlier attempted to escape despite Flag's threat of blowing off the heads of anyone trying that with the nano bombs also implanted into every supervillain in the squad: Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Killer Croc, El Diablo, and Captain Boomerang.
This latter crook looked as innocent as possible, seeing how he'd been the one to surreptitiously talk Slipknot into that rope-obsessed bloke's failed break for freedom. Too bad it hadn't worked out, but at least nobody knew it was Digger's own fault or that wanker Flag would've damn sure detonated as well the same little piece of explosive shite stuck in this Australian's neck. He definitely didn't need to have nothing but a decapitated stump up there if this happened, so keep quiet and wait for his chance later. Preferably when the rest of these drongos got killed, which couldn't happen soon enough for Digger.
The Suicide Squad and everyone else looked up into the night sky at the sound of an approaching helicopter. A black aircraft without any markings came into view and landed about a hundred feet away in the street where there was plenty of room. Blades still spinning, the helicopter side door slid open. Three men in prison guard uniforms and carrying assault rifles jumped out from inside the helicopter and faced the opening they'd just left, gun muzzles unwaveringly aimed at there.
Another man clad in a baggy orange jumpsuit exited the helicopter, followed by another three guards also holding their weapons ready, pointed directly at their prisoner's head.
"Jesus Christ!" exclaimed Deadshot, who'd recognized that guy right away. So had every other single person with this supremely expert marksman, which was only natural.
Afterwards, all of the tv networks and the Internet had repeated over and over the then-live footage of the President of the United States surrounded by groaning, pummeled Secret Service agents lying scattered around upon the auditorium floor while being held hostage by Alexander 'Xander' Harris, who'd then cheerfully begun his confession of over a hundred brutal murders to a shocked nationwide audience.
Breezily ignoring the trigger-happy escort accompanying him in an encircling shield, Xander strolled over to where his appreciative fans were awaiting. It was so nice to be out in the fresh air again after months serving multiple life sentences in that federal supermax penitentiary. Even better, those people were already making mistakes. Such as being upwind.
Nostrils flaring, Xander speedily acquired a great deal of information through his enhanced sense of smell. He soon had enough to hand out various mental derogatory nicknames like Headbitch, Riley-Lite, Gunsel, Batshit, Tats, Scales, and Sideburns. That last one was interesting. He smelled guilty.
Stopping a few paces away from the other main group, Xander watched with mild interest how Headbitch arrogantly strode forward to confront her latest minion. Next began the expected harangue of instant death due to some tiny bomb they'd shoved into him if he showed the slightest bit of disloyalty or refusal to obey orders like someone else with a weird name, the whole reason they were here (a certain crazy magic lady who needed to be taken down hard), and "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" screamed at the top of Headbitch's lungs.
Oh. Xander tore his contemplative gaze away from that glowing magical streak in the sky. Glancing around at everyone there staring at him in turn, Xander realized he must've zoned out for a while.
Returning his attention to where Headbitch seemed about to have a stroke any second now, Xander asked her in a perfect Bugs Bunny imitation, "Eh, Doc, what's in it for me?"
That rewarded Xander with a surprised giggle of pleasure from Batshit and the instant development of a pair of veins throbbing on Headbitch's temples. Now almost on the verge of ordering Flag to kill that idiot right then and there just for the sheer satisfaction of it, Waller still manager to throttle down her ire to snarl at Harris, "If you and the rest accomplish the mission and survive, you go back to prison until you're needed again, but ten years will be taken off your sentence in the meantime."
That only made Xander's decision even easier. Giving an accepting shrug of his shoulders, he said, "Okay."
For the fraction of a second there, everyone else relaxed at how simple that'd been. Mistake number two.
In a blur of superhuman speed, Xander burst through his ring of guards, knocking aside the closest two in his dash towards his goal. Along the way, Xander was still fast enough to lift from one of the prison guards his holstered pistol. Nobody got a shot off in time to prevent Xander from grabbing Amanda Waller, spinning her around, and then holding this woman with an iron-hard grip pressing the back of her skull against Xander's neck. The former Scooby Gang member's other hand had the muzzle of the stolen Glock pistol shoved against Headbitch's spine to keep her from fruitlessly struggling. Shuffling around in a slow circle to show everyone there with guns ready now why it'd really be a bad idea to start firing at them both, Xander decided to speedily quash the other potential thing they could try.
"Yo, boomerang guy!" Xander called out to the dude with 'burns gleefully watching everything. Looking kinda surprised next at being addressed, this fella warily pointed at himself, just to be sure.
"Yeah, you. What she said, about the bomb in me and the bunch of you? That's true?"
Digger's chest expanded with self-importance at being consulted about this. "Too right, mate. Poor bloody Slipknot, his whole head completely turned into chunder."
"Figures," Xander replied with an evil smirk. Nodding down at a furious Waller's own head still held securely against his neck, "What do you think? The bomb in me goes off now, she dies from a direct concussion, blast effect, or even a piece of my collarbone stabbing into her brain?"
A very nasty grin spread over Digger's face then. "Any of 'em would do me just fine, mate. Haveta say, I like yer style."
Whatever else might be said of Amanda Waller, she wasn't a coward. In an imperious tone, this black woman demanded, "Is there a point to all this, Harris? Or are we going to stay here until Enchantress kills everyone on the planet?""
"Sure," Xander said, "We're just commencing our renegotiation."
"What?!"
Waller's shocked voice was matched by everyone else's mouths falling open in their bewilderment.
Xander nodded again, back into the cheerful mood he'd shown before. "Please, your last offer? A lousy ten years off my sentence? Why didn't you just take away a single weekend of it? In case it's escaped your mind, I'm in for life a dozen times over!"
"So what do you want?" came from a suspicious woman, already half-dreading the answer.
"I walk, free and clear."
"Not going to happen," was Waller's instant response, which only produced a mocking titter from Xander. At where Harley Quinn was standing, this insane psychiatrist felt an unexpected shiver of longing pass over herself at hearing this animalistic glee.
"Oh, yes, it is. You had the juice to get me out of the pen in the first place, which means if I do your job and vanish afterwards, you'll let me go with my record cleared. Or are you gonna admit to the rest of the Little Rascals here that for all your big talk you won't live up to your word?"
Still held securely in Harris's grip, Waller eyed those members of the Suicide Squad she could see – Flag, Quinzel, Harkness, Jones, and Santana. Lawton wasn't in view which meant he must be behind them…hmm…that had possibilities. However, judging from the very skeptical expressions currently being sent her way by those costumed killers, that had to be set aside to deal with the more important issues at the moment. Plus, Waller had her own pride invested in her short answer.
"You have no idea at all what I can do, Harris. Not only did I set up this mission, I created Task Force X in the first place! That means when I make promises, I can deliver on them!"
"Just what I wanted to hear," Xander happily announced. He continued, "I'll throw in a sweetener for you besides my freedom: put your toys back into their cells, and I'll do the job completely on my own. That lets you save them for the next mission that comes along."
Waller incredulously shook her head the best she could in Harris's clutch. "You can't be serious! Rosenberg didn't change you that much- Ugh!"
Amanda's throat had nearly been crushed by Xander's merest squeeze of his superstrong fingers. He leaned over to snarl into Headbitch's ear, "Don't you ever mention Wils again. It might've been another American black-ops government agency who wanted to control the most powerful witch in the world, but I'd still love to slaughter the rest of your kind for my best friend accidentally dying in their hands! You think I'm not serious? I took them all down, from the head guy who ordered it to the summer intern making coffee! They screamed at me it wasn't their fault even when I was tearing out their guts with my bare hands! So quit thinking you know what Willow did to me with her last breath instead of striking back which would've probably demolished the whole country!"
"And what about the Slayers?" inquired a presumably unfazed Waller, if you didn't count the drop of sweat rolling down of her forehead.
Xander merely snorted. "Part of your plan, maybe? Get me out, see if that lured Buffy and the rest back from Scotland? Nice try, but like I said, I'm doing this solo before they get involved."
At that point, Colonel Flag had enough. He held ready the tablet holding the command codes for all the nano bombs with the identifying pictures of their possessors. "Waller, what are your orders? We really need to settle this soon! My men and the rest of the Squad can take care of Enchantress without Harris."
Without the slightest change of expression, Xander took his pistol from Headbitch's back and shot Riley-Lite in the left knee. It wasn't a life-threatening wound – maybe he'd even return to duty when it healed up – but as that soldier fell to the ground with an agonized scream of pain, Flag was definitely out of action.
Even as the others there began to react in amazement at that, Deadshot was already moving. Standing behind Waller and her captor, that marksman snapped into position his wrist-gun, aiming the barrel at the exact middle of Harris's skull, and fired.
Far more faster was Xander in twisting his own pistol around and firing back without even glancing over his shoulder. Instead, he kept in view the side mirror of the abandoned car fifty feet down the street where a tiny mirror image of Gunsel had been evident all the time.
Lawton's round traveled just an arm's-length in its path before colliding dead-on with Xander's own bullet coming the other way. Shattering in a cloud of metallic shrapnel, a bit of this debris ripped into Deadshot's side.
Holding closed this trickling wound, Deadshot was barely aware of this, to instead stare in utter awe at someone proving themselves to be even more of a crack shot than him.
Xander just kept a fraction of his notice back there through the mirror in case Gunsel still tried again. Addressing Headbitch again, the magically-altered man demanded, "Well? What's your decision?"
Despite her frantic mental search for any other possible outcome now that things had completely gone off the rails - Flag down, the Suicide Squad unreliable without him, and everything else – Amanda Waller bitterly conceded at last.
"Fine, you win. Take care of Enchantress, and you're free to go."
From where he was receiving medical attention from one of his soldiers, Flag lying on the street choked out, "NO! He'll kill June!"
Releasing his grip to allow Headbitch to finally step away, Xander shrugged at Riley-Lite, "Oh, relax. I don't hurt innocents, unlike all the rest of your merry band here. It should be easy enough to yank out her heart when Enchantress finds out I'm completely immune to any kind of magic now. Adios."
At that, Xander began to head down the street towards the glowing pillar. He didn't bother to pause at hearing Headbitch intently demanding from back there, "You can't be affected by magic? Why didn't you say so?"
Instead of answering that bureaucrat, Xander Harris on his way to another Scooby Gang battle began laughing long and hard…like a hyena.