It was just like old times, Buffy Summers happily thought during her implacable pursuit of that demon sorcerer showing an impressive turn of speed in frantically staying ahead of the Prime Slayer after his recent failure to open Cleveland's Hellmouth tonight. The Scoobies and the rest of the Secondary Slayers were back at the ceremonial circle in the usual derelict warehouse, finishing the job against the hapless minions there, but Buffy had spotted Mr. Magic sneaking off through a hidden panel to the outside and went after him on her own.
Ah-hah! He'd ducked into that alley a half-block further on, the idiot. Still mindful of the possibility of a potential ambush, Buffy decided not to simply turn into the alley when she got there. Instead, when she reached the building corner, this Slayer jumped up and across the alley's mouth, well above at the second story level against anyone waiting for her lower down with thoughts of violence.
Doing a half-somersault in mid-air to bounce off with her boots against the opposite alley wall, Buffy did another reverse half-somersault to land easily on this young woman's feet several yards inside the alley. Alertly glancing around, Buffy saw the demon tracing out a line with a pointy talon onto the blank brick wall making a dead-end at the far point of this cul-de-sac.
In the very next second, a large glowing disk appeared on the face of the brick wall. The demon then triumphantly looked over his shoulder at the startled Slayer, shouting at her, "You'll never catch me now, you little bitch!"
Right after this final taunt, the demon briskly stepped through the mystical portal he'd just created. That action kept him from seeing how Buffy immediately dove after him in a graceful leap, drawing her spare stake from a back pocket and yelling during all this headlong bound, "That's what you think, mister!"
Buffy went through the portal in mid-sentence, finishing that exuberant declaration with landing on the palm of her free hand, doing a forward roll, and coming up with her other hand held back and ready for a quick throw with the stake at the demon. It was only at the very last word that Buffy froze dead in her tracks…all because of the echo of "mister!" repeated multiple times.
The massive stone chamber with numerous flickering torchlights where Buffy had just found herself appeared quite capable of producing enough reverberations in a hollow enclosure to explain that odd effect. Except, what had occurred instead was much more unbelievable.
Set equidistant around the chamber, over a half-dozen portals now existed against the rock walls, just like the one Buffy had gone through a moment ago. Standing in the exact same motionless posture as Buffy in front of these portals were a matching number of young women and an equal quantity of demon sorcerers. Regarding the latter, all of them now gaping in absolute shock at each other resembled their counterparts down to the very last detail.
The ladies were also incredulously regarding their opposite numbers. However, unlike the sorcerers, they were completely different in looks. Despite that, Buffy knew each and every one of them.
Closest at the left side of Buffy was…what's her name…the Joey Potter character from Dawson's Creek which Buffy had occasionally caught a tv episode when she was spending a rare night in at Sunnydale. Next to her was the fire girl from one of the Cleveland Slayers House favorite movie series which started with Hellboy.
Going on from there were a couple of people from her past that Buffy was absolutely sure were dead! Such as in order: Cordelia Chase, Darla, Harmony Kendall, Anne, and Amy Madison! Even though the last two were as far as Buffy knew to be still breathing and around, at least.
Finishing off her quick inspection with the last person on the right, Buffy's mouth fell open in utter astonishment. Doing a bewildered check of the others, they were also gazing with equal befuddlement at none other than Xander Harris.
Who in turn was staring back with wary mystification, all while wearing tasteful makeup, a blouse, one fine leather skirt, and a twosome of cute flats which Buffy immediately lusted after and vowed to track down afterwards for herself, albeit in a shoe size that didn't resemble a pair of canoes.
The cross-dressing man's ponytail brushed against his shoulders when he turned his head back and forth several times to examine all of those girls looking at him like something they'd never seen before. Which, come to think of it, was ridiculous! They definitely knew—
"A portal congruence!" shouted one of the demon sorcerers. "Brothers, join me in defeating our enemies!"
Yeah, right. As if choreographed over long hours hard at work together on some stage or target range, every one of the Slayers there threw their stake with deadly force at the same instant towards their corresponding prey. These weapons hit their targets with matching impact, causing all of the sorcerers to collapse in alike deaths.
The victors had barely a moment to savor their success, when the portals then began to ominously flicker and dim. This clearly indicated that due to the sudden termination of their creators, these mystical pathways to other dimensions were about to switch themselves off, so it behooved anyone wishing to use them had better do it at once!
Sending one last incredulous glance around at all those bozos, Buffy turned around and promptly dove through the portal, just before it deactivated itself.
Landing like a cat on her hands and feet on the alley asphalt, Buffy snapped her head up at the concerned voice saying, "Hey, Buffster, where'd you go?"
Xander Harris was standing there with his personal Slayer bodyguard, consisting of Linda Harriman and Hannah Dale on either side of him a few yards further down the alley. They all watched Buffy scramble back up and stalk over to where Xander puzzledly waited for his Sunnydale friend to—
"URK!" yelped the one-eyed man when Buffy grabbed him by his collar with one hand and effortlessly yanked him down to peer closely at his…forehead?
When he was abruptly let go by her, Xander straightened up with a jerk and listened with amazement to Buffy next declare, "Xan, you should seriously consider changing your hairstyle. I can say now that you'd look really good in bangs."
After that supreme baffling announcement, the Prime Slayer brushed past a dumbfounded Xander and his bodyguards, who turned to watch their leader head back to the warehouse.
After a few moments, Xander found his voice to say weakly, "Ain't she a kidder, girls?"
There was no response from Linda and Hannah, causing Xander to worriedly eye them from his sole orb. Making him even more nervous was how they seemed to be actually chewing that over in their heads…
Indeed, Linda then musingly mentioned to her sister Slayer, "Gotta say, if he doesn't touch it for two, three months, Marco from the Best Li'l Hairhouse on Madison could work some real magic with him."
"Yeah," Hannah gleefully agreed. "That's how far you need to arrange an appointment for Marco, anyway."
They both beamed at where Xander was slowly backing away and shaking his head in a complete lack of enthusiasm. "No, forget it! I'm having nothing to do with anyone named Marco, unless you put Polo at the end of that! You hear me?"
All this did was to make Linda and Hannah smirk even harder at Xander.
He promptly took to his heels out of the alley, pursued by two giggling Slayers, shouting at the other woman walking ahead down the street, "Buffy! Tell them you didn't mean it! Buffy? Please!"
Author's Note: Yes, all the mentioned females besides Sarah Michelle Gellar were either offered or auditioned for the role of Buffy Summers in a certain supernatural drama show, including Katie Holmes, Selma Blair, Charisma Carpenter, Julie Benz, Mercedes McNab, Julia Lee, and Elizabeth Anne Allen. Not to mention that in a truly groundbreaking version set in an alternate universe, Joss Whedon picked Nicholas Brendon to make television history.