Author's Note: The following omake was inspired by Chapter 26 of Greywizard's 'Variations on a Scene' as done by Theo (Stairway_Man) on Twisting the Hellmouth. Basically, the AU premise is that Whistler was unable to convince Angel to become Buffy's champion before she moves to Sunnydale, so that balance demon next worriedly tries to convince numerous other BtVS characters to take on the job except for their own reasons they turn him down, too. This results in a very glum Whistler eventually seeking what he thinks as his final choice to be the bottom of the barrel all without knowing there's always even more depths of sheer incompetence to descend into.
Inwardly gritting his teeth with exasperation, the balance demon did his best to reassure the very skeptical audience Whistler was presently addressing.
"Look, guys, it's totally easy! All you've got to do is to get close to Buffy Summers, hang around her all the time, and basically be her best friends while you have lots of adventures together. Simple, right?"
The three teenagers just stared incredulously at Whistler for a full minute without them responding, before Jonathan Levinson ended their disbelieving silence which Warren Mears and Andrew Wells had also shared.
"You never went to high school, did you?"
"What's that got to do with anything?" a bewildered Whistler asked.
Rolling his eyes, Warren joined in to break the bad news to the first real proof the Trio had just learned about the existence of magic, demons, and the Hellmouth.
"Dude, we...are...nerds. You really think any pretty girl at school will even allow us to get near her in the first place?"
"Yeah!" Andrew contributed, pouting all the while. "They don't even understand the vital importance of George Lucas' magnificent creation which obviously outclasses anything else humanity has ever come up with throughout history—"
"SHUT UP, ANDREW!" Jonathan and Warren both yelled at the last of their geek squad.
The vociferous argument this instantly produced meant the three engrossed boys never noticed how Whistler soon vanished, muttering that maybe if he tried hard enough in his imminent suicide attempt, the Powers That Be would take the hint and stick some other poor sucker with the idiotic job of finding a champion for the blonde Slayer...