When he'd been staked by Nikki Wood early in her Slayer career, this vampire was honestly glad to become ashes after enduring decades of unenthusiastic feeding upon humans. The prep school expellee turned in New York City several years after WWII was already very cynical about life, but the first time he'd sunk his fangs into a victim's neck resulted in him learning things just got even worse now…and it didn't look like they'd ever improve.
Disgustedly spitting out the nasty flavor in his mouth, Holden Caulfield groused to an uncaring universe, "Why do people taste like damn phonies?!"
Author's Note: A 100 word short-short which popped into my head regarding J.D. Salinger's main teenage character finding out his new state of vampirism comes along with its own set of problems.