Author's Note: The acronym 'PWP' used in fanfiction can mean either 'Plot, What Plot?' or 'Point, What Point?' as shown by writing about totally ridiculous crack involving your characters. There's also another more salacious definition having to do with 'Porn Without Plot' in which your fanfiction characters did numerous sexual things with happy abandon that the Kama Sutra authors would've been truly impressed by, no less.

And now we have 'Porn With Consequences', as given below…

Dropping all of her Rodeo Drive shopping bags onto the Hyperion's foyer floor, Buffy Summers shrieked right at her sister, "YOU'RE WHAT?!"

"Pregnant," Dawn patiently repeated, feeling Xander standing behind her giving his new girlfriend a comforting squeeze with both hands resting upon her shoulders. Performing a thankful pat with her own hand upon there, Dawn turned her attention back to her big sis now looking as if she'd taken a potent clout with the troll hammer right between the eyes.

A reeling Buffy tried to think straight, even at this astonishing news. Her day had started out so well, going on another spending spree around LA as part of the Scooby Gang's ongoing vacation since the Sunnydale collapse. They'd wound up at Angel's old hotel and remained there for the next couple of months, recovering from the group's battle with the First Evil. Ever since their Hellmouth victory, the forces of supernatural badness throughout the planet had stayed remarkably quiet, perhaps not wanting to attract the homicidal attention of all the new Slayers worldwide.

Even the successor to the Boca del Infierno, the latest Hellmouth stirring to life in Cleveland of all places, was far less menacing than what the Scoobies had faced from high school on back in Sunnydale. Until pressing events in that Midwest city finally called for the gang's intervention in person, Buffy and the others could finally relax for a while. Making it even better was that Giles as the highest-ranking Council survivor who'd escaped being blown to pieces with their London headquarters had that wealthy organizations' immense financial assets turned over to him, and he promptly cut a huge check for everyone with him for seven years of backdated hazard pay.

Buffy had been blissfully using this money to replace her shoe collection lost in the Revello house's destruction, only to find out right this minute that her precious Dawnie was going to have a baby! All due to a certain Xander Harris appearing quite smug about this, which in turn was really pissing Buffy off—

"Wait a minute!" she suddenly realized, glaring at them both. Buffy growled to Dawn, "You can't know that this soon! To be having a kid right now, that means you started…" Buffy trailed off in horrified silence when going over the dates, only to be interrupted by Dawn smirking at her.

"Yeah, we got together after I tasered him when you tried to ship me out of Sunnydale. That finally made him think of me as a grown-up woman who wasn't gonna die a virgin!"

Buffy's vision turned red and she took a threatening step towards Xander who was really, really glad now Dawn was in front of him as a protective shield. However, before things could escalate any further, Faith wandered into the lobby through the staff entranceway. From the thick sandwich in her hand that she'd already taken a massive bite out of and was busily chewing away, Faith obviously had been in the hotel kitchen making her lunch until hearing what was going on in the foyer.

"Hey, Li'l D, X, you finally told her?" Faith mumbled past her mouthful of turkey and cheese.

Buffy shot a scorching look at the other Slayer, demanding in outrage, "You knew what they were doing?"

Faith swallowed at last, shrugging at Buffy in response, "Hell, yeah. Whaddaya think, they shoulda passed up any chance for some hot and heavy sex just 'cause we had absolutely no chance of winning 'gainst the First Fucker?"

Her mouth falling open in shock, Buffy and the others then saw Faith ruefully touch her stomach with her free hand and confide to them all, "'Course, me an' Robin kinda thought the same, and it wasn't 'til yesterday that I found out I'm gonna haveta eat for two now."

"You're pregnant, too?" squealed Dawn with glee, breaking away from Xander to rush over towards Faith and give her a joyous hug.

Faith prudently held her sandwich away from Li'l D to keep it from being crushed by their embrace. Though, she gladly put her free arm around Dawn's shoulders to return this hug, saying in satisfaction, "Yup, yer own rugrat's gonna have a best friend right from day one."

Buffy gaped at her sister and Faith now giving each others' tummy a tentative rub to see if they could feel anything there yet. When her boggled glance met Xander's mutual wonder, Buffy's overwhelmed mood promptly switched back into serious wrath concerning his responsibility in Dawn's admitted deflowering, and she took another ominous step towards him.

Now sincerely missing his Dawn-defense against Buffy pounding him into paste, Xander casually sidled backwards just in case, only to stop short at a cheerful call coming from the hotel's front entrance.

"Hello, everybody! We've got some very good news!"

Buffy, Xander, Dawn and Faith looked at where three people had just entered the lobby. They were Willow, Giles, and Kennedy, all of whom stopped in front of the others. Of the trio, the women seemed to be actually glowing with excitement, while Giles was giving off a quite odd air of sheepish pride.

Willow then announced in a rapid rush of words, "None of us intended it to happen, but remember our first night here? Kennedy and I were getting ready for bed, when I collapsed and she caught me before I hit the floor. All the magic I used to activate the new Slayers demanded a payment in kind, and unless it was settled right then and there, I'd die. The only way to stay alive was to take on a new life, and it needed to be from another magic-user. The only one closest at hand was Giles, so when Kennedy dragged him from his room and things were explained as quickly as possible, he agreed."

When Willow finished talking, she beamed up at Giles at her side now busily cleaning his glasses to avoid catching any of the incredulous gazes of the others already in the lobby. Kennedy on the opposite side of him regarded the older man with equal fondness, confiding to them all, "I don't know if it was a backlash from the spell they did or what, but I joined in, too. Guess I turned out bi instead of complete lez; anyway, I'm fine with that and also how Willow and I are going to have our kids together!"

The absolute silence in the lobby after that last statement from Kennedy was eventually broken by Xander's awed "…Duuude" sent Giles' way.

Putting his glasses back on, that Englishman provided a genuinely ferocious expression through these in return towards the California native, daring Xander to press it any further.

With exquisite timing, a crowd of Slayers-in-Training then came rushing down the Hyperion main stairs, clustering to a halt at the bottom of these. They were all there, those who'd survived the First Evil's Turok-Han vampires: Vi, Rona, Shannon, Caridad, and Chao-Ahn. Puffing in pursuit was Andrew, who stayed at the last staircase tread behind the girls.

Becoming aware that something was going on with the original Scoobies, a quick, unspoken argument with urgent traded looks among themselves ended up with Rona clearing her throat and addressing the senior New Council members.

"Uh…guys, we've got a sorta situation for all of us. It started off the last week in Sunnydale, with me and Vi swiping from a deserted house a couple bottles of vodka. We took these back to Buffy's house when nobody but us was there, and threw a party. In the middle of that when we were getting seriously blitzed, Andrew showed up with his damn videocamera."

In unison, the newest Slayers — even Chao-Ahn whose grasp of the English language was still pretty shaky — turned to glare at where a hangdog Andrew flinched at their grim stares. Rona turned back to the Scoobies already dreading what was to come, saying, "I got totally fed up with him hanging around and bothering us, so I flashed him!"

"Yeah, me too!" groused Caridad. "I said, put that in your stupid tape!"

Shannon snorted, "Hey, I was the first to moon him!"

"You barely beat me!" Vi indignantly told Shannon.

A firm handclap from Chao-Ahn attracted everyone's attention. Now knowing all eyes were upon her, that Chinese girl made a fist and thumped this against her chest. Next, Chao-Ahn curled all of her left fingers and began vigorously thrusting her first two right fingers into this provided fleshy tube, presenting an extremely shamefaced air to everyone there all the while.

"Hold it!" Xander wearily lifted his voice. He went on in the middle of Chao-Ahn thankfully ceasing her obscene gestures, "Let me guess here…it wound up with all of you doing something today with a blue stick and getting back a positive result?"

Five guilty feminine nods answered Xander, who merely sighed once and then eyed Giles appearing equally dazed as the rest of the New Council. There was no way he was going to pass up the chance for delivering a supreme snark, so Xander came out with it:

"G-man, my sympathies. You had the record for like, five seconds, but then Andrew beat you."

Just before the riot would've commenced, Buffy overrode it with her bellowed protest, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! EVERYONE HERE'S PREGNANT BUT ME!"

For those of those who'd come in later on, they now saw the truth of what their glorious leader had just whined about. The entire Scooby Gang next watched how Buffy Summers commenced to lose her marbles, glancing distractedly around the Hyperion lobby, and muttering under her breath, "Nope, no way, nobody beats me! I'm the Slayer, I always win, and this time isn't going to be an exception!"

With a very determined look on her face, Buffy spun around on a heel and strode towards the lobby's elevator.

An alarmed Giles called after her, "Ah, Buffy, just where are you going?"

Still heading towards the elevator, Buffy tossed over her shoulder, "To find Angel, not that it's any business of yours!"

Groaning out loud, Xander had to remind his friend, "Can I just say 'Angelus' here, people? Besides, it's not like his little swimmers are alive any more than the rest of him is!"

That made Buffy stop in her tracks, turning around with a calculating look now on her face. The rest of the group in the lobby felt their blood chill at hearing her musing, "Okay, then, how about Wesley?"

"There's a teensy-weensy problem with that, B," Faith answered, getting puzzled looks from the rest. In a rare tone for her of actual remorse, Faith went on, "Back when I was totally outta my head and went all Hannibal Lecter on him, my knife kinda slipped. Short version, he ain't gonna get it up for nobody."

Xander, Giles, and even Andrew unconsciously crossed their legs and edged away from Faith at that point. She paid no attention to them, what with B giving her a really annoyed hairy eyeball. Soon enough, her sister Slayer grudgingly admitted, "Fine, that leaves…Gunn."

Dawn had to interject, "He's trying to fix what he had with Fred, you know that, Buffy—"

"I DON'T CARE!" Buffy shouted. In a quieter but equally dangerous tone, she continued, "I swear, the first unattached straight guy I meet today, I'm gonna make him put a baby in me!"

As if acting on his direct cue, a somewhat seedy big-nosed man in his early thirties, dressed in an old-fashioned style with a jacket and fedora, then materialized inside the Hyperion lobby.

Whistler the Balance Demon jauntily greeted the Scooby Gang, "Hi, folks! I've got a mission for you all from the Powers That Be…" trailing off in a much more uncertain manner at seeing all the others there currently giving him a joint compassionate look of utmost pity.

Not to mention how the Prime Slayer herself, Buffy Summers, originator of the unique threat to use this demon's ribcage as her hat, had just scooted up close to Whistler and was examining him as if he were a hundred and fifty pounds of prime beef.

Reaching out to run a neatly trimmed fingernail down the front of Whistler's jacket, Buffy purred at this increasingly concerned demon, "Whistler, I think we got off on the wrong foot the first time we met. Why don't you and I find somewhere quiet and we can have a nice long chat together?"

Whistler gaped at the older Summers sister. Sensing he was in real danger but not knowing exactly what kind, Whistler gulped and said in a distinctly higher voice, "Sorry, gotta rush! Let me just give you the message—"

Buffy interrupted Whistler by grabbing his jacket labels with both hands and using these to jerk him forward down so they were nose to nose. She hissed into his paling face, "I insist."

Next, Buffy effortlessly lifted Whistler off his feet, threw him over her shoulder, and turned around to march towards the Hyperion elevator with her burden, with the door opening at a press of the button.

The last thing Whistler saw of the other Scoobies before the elevator door closed in front of his face was how they were waving goodbye sympathetically at him and the Slayer who'd just claimed her latest prey.