A/N: Ownership? Yeah, I wonder too.
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I-40, 80 miles east of Barstow. Mojave Desert
Chuck, behind the wheel of his car, said "Tell me again why you want to do this, El."
Sitting calmly in the passenger seat with her legs crossed at the knee, Ellie said, "Well, I think it's about time. He's been gone for sixteen years. Almost half my life. Now that I know that you knew where to reach him, I want to talk to him. I've got a wedding coming up, after all. And anyway, Sarah's reconnection with her own dad put it into my head. You know how that is. You start thinking about something and..."
"Yeah, I do." He was more nervous than Ellie seemed to be and could feel the moisture on his palms, wiping them on the legs of his jeans as he drove.
"How'd Emma take the news of what happened with Jack?" asked Ellie, changing the subject.
"Sarah told her when she was still up in Tahoe, so I couldn't read her body language or anything, but it sounded like she was sort of resigned to it, you know? Not that she had any expectations of the world turning out differently or Jack behaving other than like Jack."
Ellie let out a huff of breath. "Yeah. I know how that goes. Did they have fun in Tahoe?"
"Oh, totally. Loved the lake. You know Molly and the water. And now they're back and looking at houses. Close to us, but with a backyard for Molly."
"Nice," said Ellie. "Maybe they should look for something with a pool. Molly'd love that."
"Good idea. I'll mention it to Emma."
The weather in Los Angeles had been pleasant, but as they moved inland the temperature was climbing uncomfortably. Ellie reached out to turn up the air-conditioning in the car. She glanced at the outside temperature on the dashboard. "Ninety-seven," she murmured.
"But it's a dry heat," said Chuck with a grin.
"Yeah. It's a dry heat in my oven too. Doesn't mean I want to sit in there and read a book," grumped Ellie.
Chuck laughed at that.
They drove in silence for a while, until Chuck said, "Have you thought of what you want to say to him?"
Ellie paused a bit, looking out the window, and said, "Yeah. I have. Not like I have a speech planned out, but I have some ideas."
Chuck took the turn off I-40 onto County Road 66, heading north. With the exception of some rusty red hills to their right, the flat baking desert stretched away as far as the eye could see. The road was not as well maintained as the federal highway they had left and the cracked and potholed pavement slowed their progress somewhat.
"Jesus," said Ellie, shaking her head. "He's in the middle of fucking nowhere."
"Yeah," said Chuck. "Town of Goffs. Population 23. Sleepy is a bit of an understatement."
"They're lucky they still have electricity."
About twenty minutes after that turnoff, Chuck and Ellie came to a dirt road leading into the desert and turned north. After a few hundred yards they found an old medium sized Airstream Flying Cloud trailer sitting in an otherwise empty lot, glittering in the sunshine.
Chuck said, "Maybe he's not home."
"Why do you say that?"
"No car, no truck, nothing here. Don't tell me he walks to town."
"Yeah. You're right."
As they got out of the car, Chuck said, "Man. Talk about not wanting to be found."
"Yeah," said Ellie.
With the high temperature and the shining sun they could only imagine how it was baking inside the aluminum can in front of them.
Together they walked up to the door of the trailer. Each took a deep breath and looked at the other seriously for a moment or two. Ellie nodded her head and Chuck reached out to knock loudly on the door.
There was no sound of movement from inside. In fact, there was nothing but the sound of the wind through the low brush. They looked at each other with resignation after some seconds. They were about to turn back to the car when the door unexpectedly opened to reveal their dad.
He had a mop of unruly hair and a bit of a grayish stubble of beard on his face. His clothes were clean, but somewhat unkempt. Once he'd gotten past his initial surprise, his eyes were gentle as he looked at his children.
"Dad," said Ellie, neutrally.
"Eleanor. Charles. Come in, come in. Don't stand out in the heat. The satellites will see you."
Chuck and Ellie glanced at each other for a quick moment. The unbidden thought passed through both their heads. 'Yeah, dad is still nuts.'
They followed him up the single step into the trailer and were struck by the seemingly frigid temperature inside. It was particularly striking because they didn't see (or hear) any evidence of an air-conditioner.
"Please, sit down," he gestured them towards a low sofa along one edge of the single room. As they sat, Chuck saw a framed pair of pictures hinged together on the coffee table at his knee. Both he and Ellie in their little league uniforms.
"Coffee?" Stephen asked.
"Yes, thanks," said Chuck.
"No," said Ellie without warmth.
Their dad looked at them for a moment and turned to fumble in the small kitchen, making Chuck the coffee. He moved somewhat uncertainly, as if the kitchen were unfamiliar to him or his mind was elsewhere.
Once he got the coffee maker working, he turned back to his children. "It's good to see your faces again."
"Good to see you too, dad," said Chuck.
Ellie said, "I thought I'd fill you in on the last sixteen years, dad." He perched himself on the back of the chair and gestured for her to do so, a small smile on his lips. "After you left to get the ingredients to make pancakes..."
Stephen murmured, "Oh, boy."
Ellie continued, "I went to UCLA undergrad on scholarship. Then UCLA medical school on a combination of scholarships and loans. While there, in addition to an MD degree, I also earned a PhD in neuroscience. I'm now a neurologist at Westside Medical in Los Angeles. In December I'm getting married to a man I met in medical school. He's a cardiac surgeon, also at Westside."
Stephen looked as if he was about to speak and Ellie continued without pause, not giving him the chance.
"Chuck went to Stanford on scholarship. He's got a degree in computer science and electrical engineering with distinction. Chuck and his friends have a cybersecurity company and are incredibly successful. Chuck is marrying my best friend in December. It's going to be a double wedding. I'm thrilled about it all.
"Our lives are great and we are very happy. Our futures are even brighter," she said, although her upbeat words were a sharp contrast to her tone of voice.
"That makes me very happy, Eleanor," Stephen said.
"And we owe none of it to you. You weren't there for any of it. Not one goddamn bit. Everything we have, everything we earned was entirely on our own," she said harshly.
Chuck looked at her with surprise. "Ellie..." he started to say.
"You're mad," said Stephen. "I left and you're mad." He spoke softly and looked sad.
"You think so? Do you think I have a right to be mad? You knew you were all we had left...mom already gone for years...no other family...and what do you do? You abandon your children...we were all alone in the world. I was only fifteen for Christ's sake. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep Chuck and me together and out of foster care? Three years … until I was eighteen and a legal adult...of crying myself to sleep every single fucking night, facing the terror of the knock on the door from the Protective Services people. And then waking up every morning and putting on a smile for Chuck, so he wouldn't worry."
"I'm sorry..."
"No, you're not. You're not sorry. If we hadn't come out here today you would never have contacted us again. You'd have been content to let us go on for the rest of our lives without ever talking to you again. Don't tell me you're sorry. That's a bullshit lie and I don't want to hear it. Maybe I'd have believed it years ago. Back in the days before I had to handle my final high school exams while begging for extra hours at work that week so I'd have enough money to pay the fucking rent. Maybe I'd have believed it then. But I don't believe it now."
"I understand." He shrugged helplessly. "I'm sure it was hard on you. Hard on you both. But I didn't have any choice."
"Oh, please," scoffed Ellie.
Stephen sighed and said, "What would you like me to say?" He gestured helplessly with his hands.
"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you. Tell you what you missed. Our high school, college, and graduate school graduations. Our proms. I had to teach myself to tie a tie so that I could tie Chuck's tie for the prom. That was your job." Her finger stabbed at him accusingly. "Teaching him to drive. That was your job." And again, her finger stabbed at him. "You missed my first boyfriend...hell, first, second, third and fourth. You just weren't there."
Stephen sat there looking sad. He couldn't look them in the eye.
Ellie continued. "Do you know why I wanted to come out here today, Dad? Can you guess?" He shrugged shaking his head no. "To tell you about my wedding. That's why I came here. My future father-in-law is going to walk me down the aisle. Do you know why? Do you know why someone else is doing your job again? Because you aren't invited to the wedding. I don't want you there. I don't want you anywhere near me. That's why. That's why I came here. Just to let you know that you aren't welcome in my life. Not now and not ever again."
She didn't raise her voice, but it was dripping with venom regardless.
Ellie got up and turned to Chuck. "I'm done. I've said what I came here to say. I'll be waiting in the car."
Chuck reached into the pocket of his jeans and handed her the car keys. "So, you can run the engine and the AC."
"Thanks," she said. She took the keys and left the trailer, closing the door behind her. From the moment she'd stopped speaking to him, she hadn't looked at her father again.
Chuck and his dad sat there silently after Ellie left. The coffee machine stopped burbling. Stephen got up and found a cup for Chuck. Pouring the coffee, Stephen said, "Milk?"
At the moment Chuck couldn't have cared less about the condition of his coffee. He didn't know how he felt about what Ellie had done. She was full of fury at her dad, every bit of it totally justified. But it had been sixteen years. Chuck hadn't come to see him with the same intentions as Ellie had. She must have known that and deliberately kept her intentions from him so he wouldn't try to talk her out of it.
"Sure. Whatever. I don't really care," said Chuck.
His dad opened the fridge door to get the milk. Attached by a magnet to the outside of the door was a leaflet advertising an old Roark F-2000 personal computer.
For the first time in months, Chuck flashed. There wasn't much to the flash. The model of computer had been used by a group of Estonians to hack into the Russian SVB servers back in 2002. Nothing useful for the IC today. He wouldn't even report the flash.
When the flash ended, his father was looking at him with a cup of coffee in his hand. "What just happened, Charles?"
"Oh, nothing, dad. I just zoned out for a second," said Chuck, reaching for the coffee.
"It looked like a seizure," Stephen said, eying his son with serious curiosity.
Chuck laughed, "Seizure? Oh God, no. Just my mind wandering."
"Ok," said Stephen.
Chuck took a sip of the coffee and said, "Dad, I didn't expect Ellie to do that. To let loose on you like that."
Stephen shook his head sadly, "It's ok, Charles. You don't have to apologize for her."
Chuck held up a hand to stop his dad from pursuing that notion. "No. I didn't apologize for her. And I won't. Everything she said was spot on. I just didn't expect it, that's all. I...I didn't come with the same agenda in mind. I just came to … I don't know. Just re-establish contact. That's all. Give you my cell number, in case you wanted it. I have no expectations of you. I know you are here alone for a reason...for your own reasons...I don't want anything from you. But you are my father...and I wanted to, well, I guess I just wanted you to know I'm still thinking about you."
"Thank you, Charles. Yes, I'd like your cell number, please." Chuck gave it to him. Stephen said, "So, Stanford, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Not bad. You were always a genius," said Stephen with a soft smile.
"Not like you," said Chuck.
"You're right, son. Not like me. Smarter than me," said Stephen.
Chuck finished his coffee and put the cup down on the table. "I don't want to let Ellie sit out there alone." He stood up. "It was good to see you, dad."
"Thank you, Charles. Thanks for coming. For bringing Ellie. If there's one consolation for me, it's that you had each other all these years."
"I'm grateful for that as well," said Chuck shaking his dad's hand.
Chuck stepped out of the cold trailer into the heat and from there into the driver's seat of his cold car.
Minutes later, Ellie was sitting silently looking out the window at the desert pass under the wheels. Eventually she said, "Sorry I ambushed you like that. I knew you'd disapprove and try to talk me out of it."
"You feel what you feel. You said what you had to say," said Chuck with a shrug. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.
"But not what you had to say," said Ellie.
"No. It wasn't."
"Don't you hate him? Don't you hate him for what he did to us?"
"I did. I did hate him. But...I realized I could hate him for the rest of my life or I could choose to forgive him," said Chuck.
"It's easier to hate him," whispered Ellie after a while, still looking at the empty desert.
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The round trip to see his dad had taken Chuck almost eight hours of driving and he was pretty beat. After dinner he cuddled with Sarah on the couch and watched TV for a bit, but he was starting to fall asleep.
He excused himself and began to get ready for bed. His computer in his office made a beeping noise and Chuck looked in, curious as to what the unfamiliar tone meant.
The black screen came alive with green words.
I KNOW YOUR SECRET.
YOU'RE THE INTERSECT.
Chuck stood stunned and mumbled "Who?"
The words on screen disappeared and a single word took their place.
ORION
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A/N2: Couple of things here diverging from canon. A minor one. In canon Stephen was 100 miles east of Barstow. That's where I put his Airstream trailer in New Day, but unlike the lovely green area shown in the show, in real life that's the Mojave Desert. Which sort of makes sense, when we think about the privacy Stephen sought. But a bigger divergence from canon is the timing of Stephen's departure from the children. Inside the trailer in canon, while waiting for his dad to make coffee, Chuck tells Sarah that his dad has been gone ten years. So, that would mean that Chuck was seventeen or eighteen when Stephen left. That doesn't at all fit with the rest of the canon timeline (or the New Day timeline, for that matter) where we understand that Stephen left them to fend for themselves when Chuck and Ellie were still children. I'm choosing to have Stephen leave about sixteen years before the events of this chapter. Chuck was twelve and Ellie was fifteen. Their mom had left five years before that.
A/N3: Again, not like canon. My Ellie isn't the desperate sister begging her brother for the miracle of her dad to walk her down the aisle. She's the tigress who has stoked her anger for sixteen years and needed to unleash it. But now Orion is in the game. What do you guys think?