Chapter 2: We danced the night away, We drank too much
Four Months Before Season 5
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Kara sat at the kitchen table, hands around her cup of coffee, waiting for Danny. She had already arranged with Debbie to keep Frankie overnight, claiming that she needed a night alone with her husband. Not that Debbie had any idea what Kara had planned, given her giggling and winking as she packed up Frankie and suggested that Kara have a good time tonight.
Kara hadn't planned to keep Debbie in the dark about Danny's issues, but Kara had known from the beginning that Debbie wouldn't understand. Hell, it was hard enough with Carlton and Alisha, and both of them understood in a way that Debbie never could. The last thing Kara needed was Debbie doing something to help. Danny and Debbie got along reasonably well, but there were limits to how much either Danny or Kara wanted Debbie involved in their marriage.
When Danny walked in thirty minutes later, he was whistling. He dropped his gear by the door, pulling off his boots. Acting as if this was just another ordinary day. "You're home early."
She hated this. "We have to talk."
Moving towards the stove, Danny poured himself a cup of coffee. His still shoulders belayed his casual tone. "About what?"
Kara grabbed Frankie as the shot rang out, running for the front door, fumbling for the key to retrieve her own weapon from the gun cabinet as she tried to figure out what just happened.
"You shot off a firearm in our house, Danny," Kara closed her eyes, grip tightening on her mug. "While our child was here."
She stared down into the empty drawer, her mind refusing to accept the truth that was staring back at her.
He spun, coffee in hand. "I would never hurt you or Frankie. You have to know that, Kara."
Kara looked up, seeing Danny's death grip on the cup as he avoided her eyes. Knowing what she was about to say next was going to hurt. Yet it had to be said. "You're hurting us now, Danny. Don't you see that?"
The gun was gone. And the shot... The shot had come from the basement. Where Danny was.
Danny's lips thinned, eyes flaring. "It was a mistake. I know that. It won't happen again."
Keeping her voice calm was a struggle. "That's not enough this time, Danny."
She watched the pulse beat in his neck as he fought to keep himself under control. "What do you want from me?"
Her hand trembled as she called Alisha. Needing someone to take Frankie. In case...she couldn't say the words, even to herself. Alisha begging her to wait for Carlton or Mike or Russ. Not to go downstairs alone.
"I thought you were dead." Kara took a shuddering breath. "Do you know what that was like? Thinking you were in our basement. Dead?"
Danny's jaw firmed. "As you can see, Kara, I'm fine. And I already said that it won't happen again."
"Do you really expect me to believe that, Danny?" She looked away, anger fighting with despair as she thought about what might have happened. What almost happened. "How many times did you think about taking the gun before you did? Five? Ten? More? Because we made a deal that the guns stayed in the cabinet when we were home. This wasn't impulse. You planned it."
And, somehow, that hurt more. Knowing that he had looked her in the face that morning, smiled and given her a kiss, even tossed Frankie in the air. All the while knowing it was likely the last time ever.
She walked down the stairs slowly, terrified of what she might find. Whether this might be the night when Danny took the same path as Frankie Benz.
Danny finally snapped, slamming a fist down on the table. "I can handle it."
"No, Danny, you can't." Kara felt the tears building but she refused to let them fall. "You need help. And I can't help you if you won't even tell me what's wrong."
She looked down at her hands, still holding the mug of ice-cold coffee that she had made hours again.
She found him huddled under the stairs, his face stoic, the gun set on the floor before him. Kara approached carefully, relief warring with fury. He was alive, yes, but what he had done...
"I can't trust you," she said dully. "I can't trust you with our child or with my gun. Do you know how much paperwork Mike had to do in order to smooth over the unauthorized discharge of a sidearm? I could have been fired."
"I know." Danny turned, sighing, staring out the window. "I fucked up Kara. I know that."
She closed her eyes. Hating the position that she was in. "I know that you're struggling and I will do everything in my power to help. But we can't live like this. Not anymore. Not after that."
There was a long pause. "Are you asking me to leave?"
Kara's eyes lifted as she stared at her husband, never having imagined the words that she was about to say. "No, I'm saying that you need to make a choice. Because what you're doing right now isn't working. For any of us."
There was a moment of stunned silence, then Danny turned and stormed into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Kara felt the tears finally escaping, rolling down her cheeks. Something precious was broken.
And she had no idea how to fix it.