The cold Manaan night air cut through my tunic as our shuttle arrived at the very top of Ahto City. We had been brought to the cluster of resorts the Selkath creatively named "the Ring." Fountains and unique Selkath art lined the pathways—lit up with blue lights. The crowds had only gotten worse as the night waned.

Roland Wann signed us all on to the "Pearl Vacation Package."

The Republic soldier led us to an opulent resort—the Takaon Hotel—named after the same company that owned most of the casinos. There was even a kriffing garden/fountain combo at the front. Why? Why not, I guess.

Mission gasped in amazement at the high-class building and started asking the poor soldier about what amenities were included. Jolee joined in…but only asked about the food, because of course the old man only cared about food of all things. The soldier stuttered—obviously he had no answers.

Canderous made a joke about how the Republic was soft if they needed "all this shit" to relax. Fighting and fucking could get a man off without all this "effort." Carth rolled his eyes at the comment.

Juhani was speechless—probably hadn't seen anything so grand in her life. After traveling for weeks in a cramped space freighter, anything would have been impressive really. And Wann knew it. This was either to get us in his good graces or to distract us from something shady. Likely both. The other Jedi weren't impressed though. Could have been a damn mansion and they'd have the same blank expressions.

I stopped and turned around when I noticed we left someone behind.

Verena stared up at the neon-blue nameplate of the Takaon Hotel.

"Uh...Verena?"

She didn't move at the sound of my voice. "Takaon…" A moment passed before she finally noticed that I was there. "Um, sorry, what?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. Why?"

Yet, something was irking her. I didn't get a chance to ask what that something was when Verena rushed past me towards the doors to the hotel.

Inside, the grand space echoed with a multitude of voices—most of them spoke Basic though there were a few Duro and Rodians mixed in. The well-dressed tourists stared at us like we were some exhibit or attraction. The Republic soldier told us to wait while he, Bastila, and Koth spoke to the receptionist about getting keys to our rooms. And, knowing receptionists, this was going to be a while.

I leaned against the wall with a sigh—deciding to seclude myself from the others. The day was only half over despite the Manaan night screwing with my internal clock. I was already mentally exhausted due to Bastila's silent treatment. I occasionally poked the bond, but she put up an iron tight defense.

Her thin body still stood confidently by the Jedi's side. If any one of these tourists looked at her, they would have seen nothing amiss. Why didn't she pretend like she was listening to Sul Koth? It wasn't like he knew when we communicated over the bond, right? Unless...no, she wasn't for real, was she?

Fortunately, my anxious thoughts were interrupted by Juhani.

"I…Gale…?"

I raised my head up from my staring contest with the ground.

"Yes?"

"I…I'd like some advice on something...personal." I opened my mouth, but she rushed to continue. "I know—you're not my Master. But I don't think I can trust anyone else with this. You've given me great advice before, and you don't…well, you haven't told anyone about what we've talked about, and I—"

I snorted. "Just spit it out already."

Her mouth twitched, but instead of yelling at me, she nodded.

"Have you…had relations…before?"

"You mean sex?" I shrugged with a smirk. "Sure. What about it?"

"No—that isn't—!" The poor Cathar flinched. "Er…well, yeah that question wasn't well worded, was it? What I meant to say is, were you ever in a relationship with a woman? Or man! Or…whoever, I guess it doesn't matter. I'm asking because you weren't a Jedi for most of your life...and well…"

Ugh. Why was everyone asking me about relationships all of a sudden? Did I look like someone who had healthy relationships? Did I give off that aura? I highly doubted that. I met the young Cathar's eyes, then stared at the receptionist desk—where Sul Koth and his shadow still stood in line.

My smirk formed a grin.

"Is this about Belaya?"

"No—er—yes..."

Juhani's expression trembled. Those trembles rippled down her body as I sensed immense fear. I sent her a warm smile to hopefully calm her nerves.

"Well, I've never been in a stable relationship before, Juhani. I don't know what you want to ask, but I'd probably give you bad advice." I sighed. "Sorry. I wish I could help you."

She stopped shivering and her nervous demeanor calmed. Replaced with…sadness. Melancholy. She leaned against the wall next to me.

"Belaya…she was the only friend I had on Dantooine. I was an outcast even among my peers, but…she acted like I'd been a Jedi my entire life. Any mistake I made, she forgave me for it. I thought myself to be the worst…worst Jedi. It took me so many tries to complete my Padawan trials. Belaya helped me learn to...believe in myself."

Juhani dug her hand under her tunic and pulled out the necklace. "She gave this to me at the beginning of the Sith war. It was a promise that she would return someday. But…" Her pained eyes watered. "It's like I don't exist to her…at all anymore."

I watched as the poor Cathar struggled to regain her composure. Eventually, once this pain cooled, she met my eyes again.

"How do I stop loving her?" She huffed, rubbing her eyes. "Belaya is right to ignore me. Jedi aren't allowed to love. There is no emotion, there is peace. But I don't know how she did it. How she…stopped loving me. I've tried to do the same and…and I can't. But if I don't stop loving her then I'll…fall to the dark side again." A tear fell down her cheek. "So, how, Wes? How do I stop loving her? I have to make the pain stop!"

I remained silent while Juhani pleaded with her eyes for some sort of answer.

"I..." But I had no answer. Pain of my own flooded my chest—sympathy for the young Cathar's plight. Or was this...my own pain? "I...don't know." I shook my head. "I just don't know. I'm sorry."

The poor Cathar sank back against the wall. Looking completely defeated. A sniff. She rubbed her nose and mumbled the Code under her breath. I lifted a hand and rubbed her shoulder. I wasn't sure what else to do to calm her down at this point. When she finished, Juhani pushed me away and stood straight, almost as if she hadn't just gone through a crisis.

"I'm sorry, Gale. I...this is embarrassing."

"No!" I waved a hand. "No, it's fine, you—"

"You said you had no experience and I…asked you anyway. I'm a fool." She sighed. "And I already know the answer. Meditation. Contemplation. I need to...suppress these emotions. Like a proper Jedi. An outburst like this...should never happen again." Juhani bowed. "Please forget this ever happened."

I opened my mouth to argue, but she rushed away to the other side of the lobby. Far from me and far from our crew. Complete isolation. I'd failed to help the poor Cathar. Again. I knew I had no answers for her, but I wish I did. Just this once, I wish I lived up to this wise image Juhani had of me. Maybe that Wes could have said something less...pitiful.

A pricking sensation rapped down my spine. Like a lightning bolt. When I tried to figure out where this feeling originated, my gaze found cold gray. Bastila. When our eyes met, she turned again. But I saw it in those eyes before she pushed me away. Felt it in the bond.

Desire.

It caught me off-guard. So much so, I hadn't noticed Mission running up to me. Her face tightened...worried.

"Is Juhani alright?" she asked. "She looked really upset there."

"Uh…" I rubbed the back of my head. "She's just overwhelmed."

It wasn't like I was lying.

"The hotel isn't that bad, is it?" While Mission laughed, it was obviously forced. "I mean, this place is amazing! Did you see the protocol droids? They have gold plates! And look—they have parties every night!" She shoved a datapad in my face. "We need to go to this one—it's tomorrow!"

I grabbed the datapad pamphlet—some old fart named Sunry was throwing a party for Republic soldiers. Mostly retired or those in the higher ranks.

"I...think you need an invitation." I gave her back the datapad. "And this doesn't look that fun anyway—it's a bunch of old people. I'd rather hit a club or cantina."

"Yeah, same."

"Same? You're underage. Meaning not old enough."

Her blue eyes gleamed. "I can look old enough!"

"Hell no!" I pushed her back towards the group. She dug in her heels. "I'm a bad influence, but I'm not that bad of an influence."

"Ah, come on!" She crossed her arms. "What am I supposed to do? Sit around in my hotel room twirling my head tails? Boring!"

"Better than you getting into trouble."

Verena, Carth, Jolee, and Canderous looked up at the sound of Mission's squeaking boots. The teenager "harrumphed" then pouted at Jolee's side.

"I won't get into trouble!" she insisted. "Promise."

"Now that's a promise you can't keep. Remember when you ran off to rescue Zaalbar? Alone?"

"Shut up! When did you become a party pooper anyway?"

"That's your argument? Really?"

"I did rescue Big Z, remember?"

"And we almost died, remember?"

"Well, we wouldn't have almost died if you'd gone after Big Z with me in the first place!"

"N...none of this has anything to do with you wanting to look older so that you can cantina hop!"

Jolee chuckled, holding his hips. "She's a stubborn one, isn't she? It's like I'm having a conversation with you, kid."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Canderous rumbled a laugh, Verena smirked, and Carth sighed. Mission grumbled while shoving the datapad at the old man. Enough to free her hands so she could point at me.

"I've been to plenty of cantinas before and the Hidden Beks didn't care! They were cooler than you guys!"

"That doesn't make them cool," Carth said. "That makes them irresponsible."

"Oh, that reminds me!" I smiled. "We have that date with your friend Jordo. Canderous, Verena—you can come if you want. The more the merrier, he said."

"Uh...I don't think bringing Canderous is a good idea—"

"Sounds fun to me, pipsqueak," the Mando said. "Always do like to mess with the soldier boys."

Verena shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

"Can I come?" Mission jumped in front of me. "Can I? Please!"

"Does 'no' mean anything to you?" I waved. "Let Jolee entertain you—he won't bore you with his stories. Definitely."

The old man raised his white brows. "Was that sarcasm? Because if it is, I give it two out of five stars. Low effort."

"Why would I want to hang out with a boring old geezer?" Mission asked, puckering a lip.

"Hey!" Jolee shouted. "This boring old geezer lived through a war, smuggled through a blockade, and escaped a burning ship. And that's only the half of it! Have some respect for your elders, youngster."

Mission blinked. "Wait...what?"

Questions filled her eyes. She wouldn't be able to ask them though—at least not until later. The Jedi had finally finished checking us in.

Sul Koth sneered at us—more than likely hating our ruckus. Belaya handed us slips and we scanned them with our datapad so that we could use them to unlock our rooms. Verena made sure to grab one for Juhani. Wann really was pulling out all the stops—we each had our own private suite. An entire floor basically. This Takaon Company must be backing the Republic if they were letting us take all these rooms for free. It was...suspicious.

"I expect you all to be on your best behavior," Koth said with a tone that was closer to that of a scolding school marm than a Jedi Master. "You're free to do as you wish so long as you obey Manaan's laws." He looked at me when he said that. "Understood?"

"Yup, one hundred percent, mister," Mission said as if she hadn't been previously plotting to break said laws.

Koth huffed, his robes swished as he made for the elevator—Belaya trailing behind. Why did he have to make an exit like that all the time? Did he think it made him look dramatic or something?

Bastila was about to leave too. There was no way I was going to let that happen.

"Hey, sunshine!" She froze—somehow that had been enough to stop her from running away again. I smiled. "Wanna continue your rebellious streak? We're going to grab some drinks. A bartender could mix something better than I could."

Her shoulders rose an inch and I sensed…desire. Hesitation. Numbness. It flip flopped by the second. Like a coin. I hoped it landed on heads.

But…

"No thank you."

Tails.

And she walked off as if she hadn't just metaphorically slapped me in the face in front of everyone.

Drink number two. Tihar—recommended by Canderous. The mug slid like lock and key into the palm of my hand. Bitterness enveloped my tongue—masking the bitterness of rejection. I leaned on the bar with a sigh. Normally, I would have rejoiced at returning to a relatively normal cantina. One that wasn't serving shlock. But not even not-shlock could put me in a better mood.

The lowlights of the Silver Tide meant I had to squint in order to see facial expressions. The music boomed from the band in the corner and there was some room for dancing in the center. HK-47 guarded my back—watching the patrons with his murderous photoreceptors.

When we entered the cantina, Jordo called out to Carth and an entire gaggle of off duty Republic soldiers crowded around us. When Carth introduced me, Jordo added that I was "the Jedi with a sense of humor." When the soldiers stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, awaiting this "sense of humor," Jordo laughed then slapped my shoulder.

"Kath got your tongue, huh? You're making me look like a liar." I glared at him. He shivered. "Must...must not like being put on the spot…"

Fortunately, they moved on from me and focused on Verena next. Carth introduced her as another Republic veteran.

"An Echani?" Jordo "hummed," scratching his chin. "You look really familiar."

"Uh…all of the Echani look the same, Jords," one of the soldiers sputtered. "They're like twins or something."

Verena narrowed her eyes. "No, we only look identical to our siblings."

"Oh...right."

Jordo shoved the soldier aside. "Must have seen a sibling of yours then since the one I remember didn't do any fighting in the war."

Verena glanced away. "I…see."

Oh, kriff, he was talking about her sister, wasn't he?

"Mando?!"

The soldier that exclaimed this reached and pulled out his blaster pistol. HK-47 responded by lifting up his own blaster rifle. Canderous chuckled low, his sickly eyes gleaming in the lowlight.

"Calm down, aruetii, the war is over."

"Warning: Drop the blaster, meatbag."

Jordo pushed the soldier back. "Not here. The Selkath don't like it when we wave our blasters around in public."

The soldier relaxed his grip but he still glared at Canderous. I shoved HK's blaster to point to the ground.

"HK I told you to tone down the violence." I released my grip and the droid returned to his default position. "From now on only use that when I say so."

"Protestation: Oh, but Master, the organic meatbag was a threat! I was merely responding to said threat. I also cannot 'tone down the violence' when that goes against my protocols. Query: Did you forget that I told you this before? Are you losing your memory? If so, then that will make two of us, Master."

"You had to bring the droid with you?" Carth asked me. "Really?"

"Why are you hanging out with a Mando, an Echani, a Jedi, and a...strange droid anyway?" Jordo asked Carth. "It seems…well, frankly I'm not sure if you've completely lost your mind."

Carth sighed. "It's a long story..."

"Well, over drinks we will have all the time in the world to hear stories!"

Jordo shoved Carth to the bar while calling a round. His buddies sat on Carth's left while I sat to his right. Verena and Canderous joined my side and HK parked behind me.

And that is what Carth had been doing for at least an hour now. Telling Jordo about Taris, Dantooine, Tatooine, Kashyyyk. The story of how we got to this point. A highly biased telling, I may add. Firstly, he made me sound like an uncaring jerk on Taris. Kinda was hard to care about "saving the Republic" when said Republic would have thrown me into a cell. Secondly, he really played down my role in saving our asses. I mean—who won the swoop race and saved Bastila? That's right. Me.

When Carth mentioned our visions with Revan and Malak, Jordo gave a long sigh. "To think that I once looked up to those two as the best that humanity had to offer. Now I'd like nothing more than to put a blaster to both their heads. Although I suppose only Malak is left, isn't he? Bastila Shan killed Revan, right?"

Carth shook his head. "No, Darth Revan was killed by his own apprentice."

"Heh, figures. Bastard got what he deserved."

Verena perked up at the mention of the dark lords. "So, did you know Revan and Malak personally?"

"Me?" Jordo laughed. "Ha, no—us soldiers never really saw the Jedi during the Mando War. They were all in the Mercy Corp. Though...Carth, didn't you meet Malak that one time after Serroco? With the...mad scientist who tried to sell a super weapon and that Jedi on the run who murdered his peers?"

Carth sneered. "Yeah, don't remind me."

"Wait, you've met Malak before?" Verena asked. "What was he...like?"

"I was impressed." He shrugged. "He wasn't...evil or anything like he is now. Honestly, I would have never expected him to end up destroying planets, killing billions. Using super weapons instead of wanting to destroy them. A shame...really."

"A shame." Jordo drank out of his mug. "I wonder, why did Revan and Malak fall to the dark side? I mean...they were heroes. When they went missing, did something happen to them?"

"We'll never know," Carth answered. "I mean, it's not like we can just walk up and ask. I honestly thought the dark side was just a fancy word for corruption but...I'm starting to think it's different for the Jedi. It's like there's this evil watching them, waiting for its chance. When you have so much power, the stakes are higher. I can only imagine the kind of conflict that goes on inside the Jedi."

"Hey, you're a Jedi." Jordo grinned at me. "Did you know Revan and Malak? You have any idea why they betrayed us?"

I sighed. "The Jedi Masters say they fell because of their hubris. Though, really, I have no idea. I never met them—would've been impossible since I became a Jedi a month ago."

"Wait." Verena's eyes widened. "How is that…possible? The Jedi don't train adults."

I growled. "The stupid bond."

"The bond?" Jordo cut in. "What is he talking about?"

"You mean the one you have with Bastila?" Verena asked.

I took a drink. "Yup. That one."

"Okay…" In the dark lighting, Verena's nose scrunched. "How did you get a bond with her then if you weren't a Jedi before? That sounds weird."

I grit my teeth. "Because destiny I don't fucking know."

"What does the bond have to do with you becoming a Jedi?"

"Am I being interrogated here?" I asked.

Verena frowned. "It's just a question. All of that sounds really off."

Carth took over since I was obviously not in the mood to talk about said stupid bond. "From what Bastila told me, they trained him to help protect themselves from falling to the dark side. They're affected by each other or something...I don't know, you're right, it's weird."

I took another drink. "Yeah, because there is no kriffing way I'd willing become a Jedi. I hate being a Jedi." I sensed all of them staring at me, Republic soldiers included, but I ignored it, choosing to address my fourth(?) drink again. "Oh, it's your destiny to live like a droid. Oh, you'll fall to the dark side and become a monster if you don't. Oh, the Force willed you to have these nightmares about Dark Lords and chained you to a beautiful woman who denies your existence." I finished the mug. "The Force can go fuck itself!"

The handle broke off after I slammed the mug. I threw the handle—almost hitting the Selkath bartender—but it smashed some bottles. The shattering glass caused the patrons to stop talking.

The bartender glared at me.

"Heh, heh, heh. Sorry, there…I'll pay for that..." Jordo's nervous laughs cut through the pounding music. When the Selkath moved to clean the mess, Carth's friend whispered (though I still heard using the Force). "You sure that training worked? He seems a bit unhinged..."

Unhinged? He thought breaking some damn wine bottles meant I was unhinged? No, I'd probably aim for the stupid fish if I was unhinged.

Carth grabbed the broken mug. "Yeah, that's enough."

He thought I was drunk? Pah-lease. I'd say that shit sober. I have been dying to let all of this out. Actually, hitting something (like Koth? Yeah, Koth) would have been preferable, but Manaan happened to be surveillance hell.

I waved my hand at the sweeping Selkath bartender (who threw me another glare). Before the round came, something grabbed me by the arm and tugged me to my feet. I yelped and tried to pull back, but the room tilted. I would have fallen flat on my face, but whoever grabbed me kept me steady. I hadn't had that much to drink, had I?

The doors swished and the cold night hit me like a bag of rocks. That sensation caused my mind to partially clear, enough to escape, though I followed my kidnapper anyway. I don't know why…though, honestly? It was probably because I didn't give two shits anymore.

HK-47 clanked behind us as we passed a group of people. Eventually, we stopped in front of a massive roaring fountain. The rushing water pounded my skull. Hissing, I grabbed my forehead and slid onto the closest bench. The orange shadow looked down at me like a disappointed father.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Carth shouted. "You almost hurt that guy—that handle was pretty sharp, you know!"

"Okay?" I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "He didn't get hurt though, did he? So, should it matter?"

"Should it—?" A moment passed of silent seething. I could hear the air go in and out of Carth's nasal passages. It was very annoying. "Of course it matters! That Selkath could have had you arrested for assault or for disturbing the peace. Thankfully Jordo saved your ass."

"Ah, so then it doesn't matter then?"

Carth's nasal blowing ceased. "I don't know how to deal with you anymore. One moment you're able to act like a normal rational person, the next you're a self-centered, callous asshole. Who exactly are you pretending to be, Wes? At this point, it is impossible to tell."

I took a deep breath before raising my head. Carth's face was about as enraged as I thought it would be.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Why don't you ask Bastila? Maybe she'll talk to you."

The pilot's face stilled.

"This is about Bastila, isn't it?"

Obviously. I didn't say as much though. Instead, I leaned forward running my hands through my hair in frustration. The roaring fountain was the only sound for a long while. But then I sensed someone sitting next to me.

"Do you...want to talk about it?"

Carth had a cool expression—one that a soldier would have. Only instead of closed off, like before, he seemed open. Non-judgemental. Trusting.

I shook my head. "Look, I'm…sorry about what happened there. It was uncalled for. I'm fine, really, just a bit drunk—"

"I know what it's like to keep things bottled up. To not want to trust anyone with your feelings. I've been hurt before, you know? And I'm not saying that to get pity." Carth leaned back. "I trusted Saul with everything. He knew I had a wife. A son. He still...he still destroyed Telos anyway. How could I trust anyone after that?

"The more I think about it, the more I realize that was just an excuse. I've been punishing people who had nothing to do with what happened to me. Thinking the worst of those who did me no wrong. And I did it all to...protect myself from being betrayed again." He turned to meet my gaze again. "Your turn."

"Wha—" I flinched. "My turn?"

"You're not fine. Not at all."

I frowned. "No, I—"

"You should open up. Really open up and not...pretend to. And you really need to since, well…" Carth sniffed. "I don't want you to end up in a Selkath prison cell over booze."

A smirk unintentionally graced my face. It fell again as I stared down past my knees to my boots. Maybe…Carth was right. For once. Manaan has been a complete disaster so far and it hasn't even been a day. If he could trust me with all of that about Saul, then I'd be more paranoid than him. There was no way I was going to be more paranoid than Carth Onasi.

I sighed. "I don't get her." Carth raised a brow with a smile—practically egging me on to continue. I rolled my eyes. "Bastila…she really started trusting me, you know? I felt like I could talk to her without her…rambling on about the Jedi Code this, dark side that. After the battle, when Sul kriffing Koth showed up, it's like it all reset to when we first met on Taris. I thought she…cared about me—us." I waved a hand. "So, yeah, I'm pissed. How could I not be?"

The pilot studied my face. "So, you think it's because of the Jedi Master that she's avoiding you?"

"Obviously it's because of him—probably thinks I'm falling to the dark side or something. He talked her into avoiding me, and us, to prevent her from falling too. From getting too attached. Why would she believe him? I don't know why she would believe him."

"How do you know she believes him?"

"Because…there isn't any other reason why she would be avoiding me other than to not 'fall to the dark side.'"

"Really?" Carth smirked. "So, nothing else? No other reason she may be keeping her distance?"

"Nope."

"Wes…" He chuckled. "You really are dense when it comes to women, huh? It's so obvious what's happening here."

I glared at the pilot. "Oh, so you're an expert then?"

"More than you are apparently." I opened my mouth to protest, but Carth continued. "If Bastila didn't care about you, she wouldn't have to force herself to avoid you. She'd return to lecturing you about the dark side or the Jedi Code. It's because she cares about you that she feels like she has to avoid you in the first place."

My head jerked back—almost as if I'd been slapped. "That makes no kriffing sense. If she still cared, she'd ignore Koth anyway. She'd be here with us. He's not babysitting her 24-7."

"Why do you think Koth is the reason she's avoiding you?"

I hissed. "Carth…I thought I already told you—"

"She's not avoiding you because the Jedi Master told her to. She's avoiding you because she's afraid of her feelings. For you."

"…"

Oh.

Force—I'm an idiot. I really am an idiot. Carth was right. It was so obvious. How did I not see something that was so obvious?

"You're lying." Her arm wrapped around mine and her head rested on my shoulder. Warmth. "I know because you...you care about me. I sense it. All the time."

"I'm an idiot."

Carth released a long breath. "Finally."

"Fuck, I'm an idiot."

"Yes…"

I shot out of the bench. "I'm a kriffing idiot, Carth!"

"Alright, alright, no need to be so loud—"

"How could I be so stupid!" I grabbed my head. "It was so obvious!"

Something pat my shoulder—Carth gave a nervous chuckle. "Look…you don't have to be so hard on yourself. You two aren't exactly…well, normal being Jedi and all..."

"What the hell do I do?" I grabbed at my hair. "She has to snap out of it."

"I mean…have you tried telling her how you feel?"

"But shouldn't she already know how I feel? Bond, remember?"

"Eh…" Carth rubbed the back of his head—looking mildly uncomfortable. "I suppose?"

"Then if she knows how I feel, what do I do?"

"I…have no idea." Carth shrugged. "Maybe you should try talking to her?"

"How do I talk to her if she's avoiding me?"

"Why do you think I have the answers all of a sudden?"

"Because, for once, Orangy, you do have the answers!"

The Republic pilot rubbed his face. "But sometimes you don't have the answers, Wes. It'll...just have to be something you both figure out."

"Oh, great." I waved a hand. "Thanks for the 'advice.'"

"You're welcome." He grinned as I glared at him. Then, he slapped my shoulder. "See—was that so bad?"

I crossed my arms and stared out into the Ahto City crowds. A weight lifted off of my shoulders. The anger from before, along with the need to punch something, had dissipated like the fountain streams. Replacing it was...this sensation of ecstasy. Clarity. Ironically, it almost felt like meditation. Because all I felt now was peace.

I smiled. "No..."

HK-47 sighed—some of the fountain water was splashing onto him. "Query: Are you done talking about your feelings now, Master? It is making me sick and my bolts will be rusted to dust at this rate."

Carth shook his head. "We should head back—Jordo and the rest are probably worried about us."

We returned to the cantina. Verena and Jordo were wasted—Verena singing some Echani song about a massacre and Jordo clapped at the lyrics he didn't understand. The rest of the Republic soldiers were dancing on the floor. Canderous was chatting up some women at the bar who were occasionally flipping their hair. Wouldn't be surprised if he didn't go back to the hotel… or if he did, he'd bring company. Wait—wasn't he married? Did Mandalorians...care about staying faithful?

The Selkath flinched as I sat at the bar again. HK parked behind me again and Carth sat next to Verena. Some of her drink spilled and she snorted.

"You two done with your date?"

Ah, must have been a happy drunk.

Carth rolled his eyes and waved at the bartender. When his drink arrived, the bartender gave me an eye but I shook my head.

For once, I wasn't thirsty.

A few hours later, with everyone less drunk, Jordo walked with us back to the hotel. Canderous had disappeared...with one of those ladies, so it was just Verena, Carth, HK, and I. When we arrived at the gates to the hotel, Jordo invited us to a party.

"A higher up, Sunry, is celebrating his retirement here." Jordo smirked. "I heard he used to be the general at the Embassy before both himself and the position was retired. There wasn't a need for higher up military personnel at the Embassy after the treaty was signed. I don't see why you all wouldn't be able to join—though you may want to dress for the occasion."

My ears perked up. Someone with ties to the Embassy, huh? He may have some more information on Roland Wann. Perfect.

I answered before Carth could.

"Sure."

Jordo slapped my shoulder again. "Good man, good man! I'll be seeing you there then." And with that, the happy soldier skipped away, humming Verena's Echani song.

We entered the hotel, the lobby less busy than before. As we entered the bronze plated elevator, Carth raised his brow.

"A party? Really?"

I smirked. "Hey, at least this one is being thrown by the Republic this time. And it sounds both classy and boring—right up your alley, Orangy."

"If it's 'classy and boring,' why would you want to go?"

"Why not?"

"I have a feeling you have ulterior motives here."

"That's just your imagination."

Verena had been eerily silent during our back and forth and during the trip to our rooms. She'd been...off all night, really. I would have to ask what was bugging her later. Hopefully, I remembered.

The elevator dinged on floor twenty-five and the doors swished open. We parted ways down the marble hall. I found my room easily enough and scanned my datapad on the lock. It was a smart system, really, no one could slice into a room that was protected by another device that either needed to be hacked into or stolen. Given that this hotel was practically owned by the Republic, it was understandable they'd want the tightest security.

Including the multiple cameras in the halls.

The doors swished open, revealing the room I'd been assigned.

The room was spacious given the fact it was only for temporary use. Expensive carpets, silk curtains, holodeck. Shelves decorated with various potted plants. My bags with my spare robes sat on the bed. Force...an actual mattress that was thicker than my fist. And my own fresher. I peered into the darkness of said fresher out of curiosity. Wait, was that a jacuzzi?

Alarm bells were ringing in my head that all of this was just a distraction but at the same time...I deserved this. Why not be distracted for a little bit?

And the view. The ocean stretched far into the horizon and the lights below shimmered in tune with the lapping waves. With a sigh, I threw off my robe and tunic and collapsed in bed. Force, it was like a cloud!

I sighed.

The sound of clanking interrupted my blissful thoughts.

"Er...Master?"

"Hmm? Oh—HK!" I sat up. "How do you like it? Pretty nice, huh?"

There was a mechanical hiss. "Observation: This place is terrible, Master. Where is the armory? We can't just leave our weapons on the ground. And what about the torture room?"

"T-Torture room?"

"Statement: Yes, Master, the torture room. An abode is not complete without one."

I frowned. "Well, if you don't like it in here, go outside and guard the door."

"Protestation: But Master! I am not a bodyguard, I'm—"

"A defunct assassin droid." I nodded. "Go on—get. Let me enjoy my torture room-less abode in peace."

HK-47 gave another elongated sigh before shuffling out of the room. Ah. At last. Peace and quiet. I laid back down and shut my eyes...drifting off…

Bastila laughed. Her face grew red as I teased her again. Hair fell out of her bun into her eyes. Gray eyes. Light. I lifted a hand and brushed it away from her face. Warmth filled my body. Desire—ravenous, more tempting than the call to the dark side. I wanted that light. I wanted her.

Another dream overlapped mine.

I saw him. Sitting underneath the willow tree. I grabbed his hand and leaned closer. Feeling his body heat. Darkness. His dark eyes. I wanted him to take control. His lips. I wanted...to feel them. He leaned in and—

I shot up with a gasp. My body shivered—heat in my face, my chest...my groin. Force. The darkness of the room expanded. Emptiness engulfed me. Sweat. I laid back down, staring out at the endless sea. For once, I wanted to go back to sleep. To return to the dreams. Yet, sleep never came. Not while I felt this desire boiling within me—overflowing, bubbling.

Kriffing hell, it was like torture.

Before I could pretend to fall asleep, the sound of HK-47 threatening someone with his blaster rifle muffled outside. Great. I hadn't been specific again. He was probably threatening everyone who passed by. I gave him one job and he's already kriffing it up.

With a groan, I threw away the covers and shot out of bed. I grabbed my robe so that I was at least semi-decent and opened the doors, preparing to give HK a piece of my mind…

Bastila.

She was glaring up at HK. Her face...flush. Hair down, tunic sloppily thrown on, dark bags under her eyes. It was as if she'd just gotten out of bed.

"Reiteration: I am guarding this door against intruders—which means you, female meatbag. If your soft, mushy neural matter can't help you make that connection while it's inside your skull, then maybe—"

"HK!"

The droid shuffled at the sharp sound of my voice. His photoreceptors blinked. "Ah, Master! Statement: As you can see, I have stopped an intruder from entering the premises. Even though a junk T3 unit could do the same—"

"She's not...she's not an intruder. Shut down."

His photoreceptors dimmed. "Protestation: But, Master, have I not done what you—!"

"Shut. Down."

HK-47 gave me a defiant blink before letting out another mechanical hiss. His lights dimmed and his posture returned to the default position.

Bastila didn't meet my gaze, her eyes instead watched the wall. I waited for her to say something...why was she here? Don't tell me it was about that dream. Oh, Force...she hadn't seen that, had she?

The silence was deafening. The sound of the elevator dinging down the hall made her flinch.

"Um…" Her accented voice was hoarse. "Can I...come in? We need to speak. In...private."

In private. Those words bounced around in my mind. They weren't happy words. Oh no. I had a bad feeling about this.

I nodded—without saying anything, mostly out of fear—and stepped aside. When she entered my room, I waved the door closed. Bastila didn't walk in further. Instead, she stood near the entrance. In the dim light, I could still make out the nervousness etched on her face.

I crossed my arms.

"So…" My gaze flitted away from her. "What did you want to say?"

Finally, I sensed...something in the bond. Regret.

"You...you have to understand how difficult this is for me to say."

Something like hope lifted my shoulders. Had she finally snapped out of it?

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for avoiding you."

"No." I chuckled. "It's fine, I—"

"With all my training, I should be able to control myself without having to avoid you. But you're not like anything that I expected. You're not like any man I've ever met before. I find myself watching you when I don't mean to. I'm thinking about you when I don't want to. It isn't supposed to be like this!"

My smile dipped at the sound of her stressed tone.

"What are you saying?"

"I spent all evening trying to...trying to put you out of my mind. Meditation didn't work. Reciting the Code didn't work. Nothing is working. You are consuming my thoughts. I tried to block out the bond—because it is the bond. It has to be."

No.

"Bastila—"

"In some ways you make me feel weak, like I am caught up in the wake of our destiny. But at the same time, you make me feel stronger, more alive. If I could, I would return to Dantooine. I need to be away from this bond of ours. I need to weaken it." Her lower lip quivered. "I need to be anywhere but near you!"

Those words cut into my chest. My entire body grew cold. The feeling...I wanted to crawl into a corner and just die. But there was something. A contradiction. My lips curved into a pained smile as I tried to suppress the pain. My voice came out in a whisper.

"Then why are you here, Bastila?"

Her wild face calmed. It was her Jedi facade. The facade she used to block me out. She crossed her arms behind her back and spoke like she did on Dantooine when she'd lecture me on the dark side. When she was just my teacher.

"There has been a misunderstanding." Her chest lifted. "Our time together...was a test. The Jedi Council knew that the bond would test my loyalty to the doctrines of the Order. By facing and overcoming my feelings for you I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step in understanding the Force."

Heat filled my chest. My breath ramped up. My voice was still a whisper.

"No, really, what are you saying? Because all of that was in Ewokese."

"I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important you know our...infatuation...those...dreams…it was nothing more than a result of our powerful bond. Although I suppose I should thank you for all you've done. For the lessons you helped me learn."

"Oh, so that's it then?" My voice finally rose, my nostrils flared. "I'm just a lesson? A stepping stone to you becoming a Master? A holocron for you to dissect? For you to crush once you've figured out how to avoid your feelings?"

Her facade broke—thin eyebrows dipping, lips trembling, eyes watering.

"Please...don't say it like that."

"Like what?"

"You...you make it sound like I'm using you!"

I laughed once. The air became cold.

"Oh, you're not?"

"D-Don't you realize how difficult this is for me?"

"Difficult for you?!"

I waved my hand—some of the plants fell from the shelves. The crash from the pots made her flinch and a flicker of fear entered the bond. When I sensed that fear, I calmed my breathing, my anger. My voice returned to a whisper.

"What about me?"

The connection between us wavered—unimaginable pain hit me over and over as if I was being beaten to death. It...it was my own pain, reflecting back. Which meant that she felt it and...was hurt by it.

"I-I know how hard this is for both of us! Why do you think I came to this decision? You would have never stopped, so I had to be the one to step up and do the right thing!"

Anger once again filled my veins. I wanted to shout at her again, desperately convince her that this was a mistake.

But then I remembered.

My shoulders lifted. A smile curved my lips.

"You're lying."

Her body flinched. "No, that—"

"All of this...you don't really believe it."

"Wes—"

"No." I took a step forward—closer to her. She didn't shy away. "No, I'm not going to hear any more lies." I looked down at her. "You're just...saying whatever you can to hurt me. To push me away. I felt that you know. You were in pain because of my pain. You're trying to...you're trying to force me to stop having feelings for you. Because you're afraid of your feelings for me. That's what this is about, isn't it?"

Her gray eyes wavered—dark strands of hair fell over them. Her mouth opened and closed before they pressed together into a thin line. Her arms returned to her side—Jedi facade gone like it had never been there.

"Malak has to be stopped."

"Okay?"

"You—" Her body shook, voice a whisper. "How can I...how can I do that if I let myself be blinded by my feelings for you?"

I leaned in closer...we were strands apart.

"Why would that stop you?" I smiled. "We'll defeat him together, won't we?"

There was still some hesitation in her eyes, but that desire returned again. Her breath brushed my chin.

"I...have to resist…" Her gray eyes watered. "I have to be strong for both of us."

"You don't have to."

Her breaths became shaky, cheeks flushed. "No, you don't understand. I have to."

"You're not weak for loving me, Bastila." I brushed away the hair from her eyes. "Because I love you."

The sparkle of a tear fell from her eye. "Just...just shut up and—"

I pressed my lips to hers. A deep kiss. I closed my eyes as I felt her soft lips on mine. Warmth—so warm. Her arms wrapped around my neck to help her push me deeper into the kiss. I surfaced to breathe but she kissed me again, and again. A tidal wave erupted in the bond. Exploding. It was…I'd never felt anything like it before.

I pushed her against the wall—taking control. She yelped in surprise.

No, you wanted it like this, didn't you?

My hands weaved through her loose hair as I forced her deep into the kiss. Her lips vibrated as she moaned. She didn't, or couldn't, respond over the bond, but she didn't have to.

Her fingers tugged at my robe—I shrugged it off and it fell to the floor. Her hands explored my chest, pushing, rubbing. Each touch was fire. My own hands traveled down, down to her loosened tunic. She gasped as I pushed her tunic up and let my hands massage the skin near her bare breasts.

I moved my kisses away from her lips. Down her jaw. Down her throat. She hummed again. I paused when I tasted salt. Tears. I opened my eyes, concerned, but she hadn't opened hers. She was...shivering. Crying.

They weren't tears of joy.

"Bastila?"

Don't...stop...please…

She pushed me into another kiss. Grabbed my arm and pushed it to her breast. Her tunic had loosened enough that it showed her bare shoulder.

Bastila?

Force, I want you.

I kissed her back again, reinvigorated yet...something—

A red mask.

Her body flinched as if I'd hit her with lightning. I pulled away from both her kiss and her body after we experienced that vision. Her face had become flush, so flush I could see it in the dim light. Her gray eyes wavered.

"I…" Sweat fell from her brow. "We...that, we shouldn't…"

I shivered with a smile—still out of breath.

"Shouldn't…what?"

Her red lips slammed shut. Before I could ask her what...what she was trying to say, she waved the door open and ran out into the hall. I opened my mouth to call her back but...it was too late.

She was gone.