"Wessy?"

"Hey, pipsqueak—you okay?"

"Gale? What happened?"

"Where's Bastila? Is she…?"

"Move! Out of the way! You're crowding him."

"He's…he's not moving or saying anything, Jolee. What's wrong? What happened?"

"…kid? Your leg. You're wounded."

—wounded. Do you know why? Do you remember what happened?

"There was…" A voice. It didn't sound like my voice. "There was an…attack. On Corellia. Crashed my ship. Stupidest mistake…in my career."

A sharp ring brought all of the sounds back. A low hum. Then my body lifted and I was weightless. A strong grip helped me onto my feet and I was dragged—

Rocks. Rocks glittered on the shelves. Jolee's rock collection. The Ebon Hawk. I was on the Ebon Hawk. In the med bay. I blinked as everything finally came into focus.

A needle. I flinched. My back hit the wall. Fear. The needle went away and was replaced with a dark hand.

"Easy, easy." The hand rubbed my shoulder. Even though it was supposed to be a calming gesture, sweat clammed my forehead. "You're okay. You're safe."

Take your time. You've experienced…a traumatic event.

Jolee. His voice was soft as he grabbed my shaking arm. Fingers snapped in my face. I didn't blink or flinch. He peered closely into my eyes then pulled up my sleeve. "You're going into shock. This will help you. It's better than the Dingla root. No dancing gizka. Promise."

When I didn't move, Jolee walked to my side—out of view. My arm pinched. Held me down. Couldn't move. Everything numb. My eyes blurred. Please, don't. A wave of fatigue hit me. Something pushed on my shoulder. I laid down—everything heavy. Jolee's shadowy form hovered above me. It blurred…with images…of the old woman. My mentor.

You need to hold on. Don't give up. Don't let go.

"Get…get some sleep, kid, alright?"

No. I didn't want to sleep. Sleep was when I dreamed. Sleep was when they asked questions. Sleep was when I remembered. I didn't want to remember anymore.

But I had no choice. I never had a choice.

"Were there any survivors?"

"No. No, sir, there were none."

"…"

"Let me see them."

"General?"

"I want to see what those bastards did to them."

"It…I don't think—"

The smoke from the fire smelled of cooked flesh. Tortured to death. Naked. Hung by their necks for the flies and maggots. Lightsabers clenched in their teeth. He knew most of their faces. Their final moments had been spent writhing in pain. That pain—that darkness—remained within an echo in the Force. One in particular—one named Yonis—hung in front of him. He'd grown up with him on Dantooine.

Dxun's forests were dark. Cracked blood within the roots. The masks all looked the same. Their laughs—all the same. The prison, the cage, small. Cold. Screams echoed through the trees. The Mandalorians had taken him. He'd managed to escape from the encampment. But they caught him. As punishment, they strung him up. He had no choice but to watch. Watch as they killed them.

Explosions. Bits of flesh. Brains. Screams. The blood flowed. Salty tears. No hope. No escape.

The vision faded with the fire and blood.

"Cut them down."

If only they were stronger. If only. They wouldn't have died if they were stronger. If he was stronger. If he hadn't asked them to follow him—if he was stronger—if he was better—if he wasn't weak—he could have just done it himself.

And once he was stronger...he would kill them all.

I gasped awake—the medical equipment beside me beeped in an irregular rhythm. A cold kolto bandage wrapped around my leg, face, and chest. I no longer had my tunic on. My right arm moved—the sound of metal clattered on the pipes. My eyes blinked—my breathing stilled. Vision cleared.

Carth Onasi sat beside the medical bed. He was unrecognizable. Expressionless. There were dark bags under his eyes and his skin had become paler. When I sat up against the med bay wall, we met gazes—his eyes—there was nothing there. I copied his expression. My face set—numbed. I pulled at my right arm. Carth had cuffed me to a pipe.

He leaned forward after a long dark silence.

"What did you remember?"

Hanging corpses. Fingerless hands. Gouged black eye sockets. Tortured screams—

"…nothing."

"And so the lies begin." Carth's face finally unfroze. Into a sneer. His voice lowered. "You remembered something there. What did you remember, Revan?"

I almost didn't hear the name. I didn't want to hear it. I pulled my arm again.

"You cuffed me."

"Of course I cuffed you. I don't want you to hurt anyone."

I snorted. "Well, it's pointless. If I wanted to hurt you, this wouldn't stop me."

His face twisted at my words. He stared at me for a long time. Until, eventually, he took a breath.

"Do you…" He shivered. "You don't feel any remorse, do you?"

Numb. Everything was numb. The emotions…were distant. Distant like the bond. Distant like the Force. He's right, you know. You don't feel remorse. You don't feel angry. You don't feel...anything.

The anger returned to his face—hiding the inner fear—after I stared at him for too long.

"What did you remember?"

Remember? That's right. I studied the rocks.

"Nothing important."

"Force damn it!" Carth hit the bed near my injured leg. I didn't flinch. "You know…while you were unconscious I wanted to shoot your kriffing brains out. But if I did that then Bastila's sacrifice would have been in vain. You were leading us to the Star Forge. It was never the bond or visions. It was you. So, if you don't tell us what you remember, then Bastila's sacrifice will truly mean nothing."

Why did she save me?

"It already means nothing." I looked up into his face. "The Jedi were using the bond to see Revan's memories. Without the bond, you won't be able to trust me." I shrugged. "You barely ever trusted me before. Now? I could say anything about what I saw and you wouldn't believe me."

"You…" He shook his head. "That…"

"So, we failed. Without Bastila, we failed the mission. You might as well get it over with and shoot my kriffing brains out."

Carth paused. He stared at me…watched me. Then, he drew closer with a sneer on his face.

"You manipulative son of a bitch." He was angry again. "You think I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? After what you did? After you started a war that killed…millions. Billions."

Numb.

"That was…" The ringing. It returned. My mind felt distant. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No, Revan did that."

"No, you did that!" I was shaken by the shoulders. When I didn't open my eyes or respond, he stopped with a huff of disgust. "Everything about you—it was all a lie. It wasn't real."

It wasn't real? None of it…was real? My crew. My mentor. Thea Starr. The smuggling runs. The crash. None of it was real? No. It was real. It had to be real. But didn't you also have trouble remembering? That was because I was an idiot. Of course I couldn't remember when I was blackout drunk most of the time. Malak was lying. It was a Sith trick. Bastila was also being manipulated. He was trying to turn me to the dark side. Almost succeeded too. None of it—

But you remembered. The Jedi created a personality to mask the Dark Lord. A personality that could be controlled. You're not Wes. You never were.

My body shivered. I grabbed my arm and forced it to stop. That brief moment of weakness, the brief moment of expression, faded. I was once again numb.

A sigh. "Look, you're right. I don't have a choice," Carth said. "I have to trust you or the Sith will destroy the galaxy. Which is why you need to tell me. What did you remember?"

"You want to know?" I met Carth's gaze. "Do you really want to know what I saw?" He said nothing. So I answered. It felt like I was speaking in a large chasm. "Revan sent a squad of Jedi into the jungles of Dxun—I don't know why. But he…he made a mistake. The Mandalorians captured the squad. They tortured them for days to get information and when they didn't get it they cut out their tongues to make room for the lightsabers in their mouths. They stripped them naked then whipped them till they didn't have any skin left. Then they hung them in the trees while they were still alive. Left them there for their bodies to be picked apart by vermin. Left to rot for days. I knew the squad leader, his name was—" My mouth shut. It wasn't your fault, you know. No. Alen wasn't real. These other memories I had weren't real. Only the death. The terror. Those memories were the only ones that were real. Numb. Everything numb. I shrugged. "So, it's as I said. Nothing important."

The silence. It was deafening. Then, something…glistened in his eyes. It couldn't have been tears. There was nothing to cry about. The dead stare returned.

"Here's what's going to happen." He stood and spoke as he walked around the bed. "I'm going to gather everyone into the main hold. You're going to tell them the truth. Why? Because you are a ticking time bomb. If—no—when all of your memories return, you will kill everyone. Guaranteed. Hell, the Jedi should have told us what we were dealing with from the start. I already know that I'm going to stay. As a soldier, I'm used to risking my life for the Republic. But everyone else should get to decide on whether or not they want to risk themselves on a suicide mission. Once they've made their decisions, we'll lay low for a while before we head to Korriban."

I looked away.

"Where are we going then?"

"In a few days, we'll arrive at the Yavin system—Davik set it so that the Ebon Hawk auto calculated the hyperspace jump there for some reason. I used it in our escape. It's probably not a…law-abiding place if Davik Kang went there, but it happens to be both secluded and close to Korriban. Perfect for us. When we get there, anyone who wants to leave…can leave. Then, when we're sure that things have settled down, we'll go get the last Star Map." He unlocked my hand off the cuff. "Alright?"

My arm dropped to my side. Right. The Star Map. The last one… He stared at me—as if waiting for me to answer. He scoffed then left the med bay when I never did.

Even now Carth was still all about the mission. Even when it was hopeless. The last one was on Korriban. A Sith world. Sure, Malak wasn't a fool. He wouldn't reveal that his old master survived. But there was a high chance that either someone would recognize me as a "Jedi" or…I could regain Revan's memories on the planet. If that happens, if I become Revan again, it's over. The Sith would win. So, it was hopeless. Unless...

Unless I was taken out of the equation. Because Carth was right. I was a ticking time bomb.

How could the Jedi risk the war like this by letting Revan—me—live? How could they put everyone—Carth, Mission, Zaalbar, Canderous, Juhani…Bastila—in danger like that? Throwing a live nuclear bomb into the Ebon Hawk with them would have been safer. Did they really think my bond with Bastila was going to be enough to stop Darth Revan? How could they do that to her? They knew that I was remembering. They called it visions. And the visions were only getting worse. They knew it was dangerous—they knew it would get to be too much—so then why? Were they really that desperate?

I threw my legs over the side of the bed.

The mission was over. Yes, the Sith had to be stopped, but I started this. I wasn't the one meant to stop it. Revan tried to save people during the Mandalorian Wars and he ended up a Sith Lord. I couldn't save or lead anyone. I didn't want to risk going to a Sith world. I didn't want to be near anyone if I remembered. All I wanted to do was go into the middle of nowhere and…die. Alone. Where I couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

Images echoed.

"Haven't you asked yourself why you were able to do all the things you were able to do on Taris? Aren't you at all...curious?"

"No, actually. I'd rather return to the Outer Rim while avoiding the Sith in my own ship in the middle of nowhere. Alone. Now, excuse me, but I would like some peace and quiet without some nosy Jedi-prick stalking me. I still have to figure out how many credits I need to get the next ship transport—"

Something like wind tripped Wes and he fell flat on his face. His leg was not spared and he had to suck in breath in order not to shout a curse at this stupid woman.

"What was that for!"

"For being a selfish nerf herder. And to stop you from walking away again."

I sucked in a breath and my body trembled. Bastila. Malak captured Bastila. She sacrificed herself. He captured her and it's my fault. I hurt her. In my anger, I hurt her. I had to at least save—

Stop. No.

She shouldn't have saved me.

The memory—the memory of Bastila's cute kinrath pup face as she looked down at me pissed floated within my mind. Floated there like the terrifying visions. Only they were memories of Wes. Wes loved her. Wes couldn't stop thinking about her. He wanted to hold her close. He wanted to save her. Another tinge of emotion broke through the fog in my mind. My shoulders shook and I gasped. A bitterness. I leaned forward and rubbed my injured face. The shivering stopped along with the bitterness on my tongue. This needed to stop. I needed to stop remembering. Stop thinking. Stop feeling.

Because I wasn't Wes. I was Revan. And Revan didn't feel.

Revan didn't love.

The crutch clacked upon the metal floor of the Ebon Hawk as I limped towards the main hold. I'd thrown on a spare tunic I found in the med bay. Jolee must have patched me up when I was unconscious. The kolto patch on my face was cold and stung. The ones around my chest and leg were worse. Yet all of this pain—it was hard to feel it.

My heart raced and time slowed to a crawl. This was it. I would tell them the truth and they would leave. And when they left, I'd only need to escape from Carth. Which shouldn't be that hard really…

Everyone was there already. Carth crossed his arms as I limped to his side and didn't look me in the eye. He didn't anymore. Mission stood from the bench when she saw me. Juhani tensed—worry was obvious on her face. Canderous met my gaze and for once he actually appeared concerned. Verena. She stopped leaning against the wall to stare at me like the others. She—no. Revan killed Yusanis. If Carth didn't kill me, she would.

And Jolee…

The old man. He stood in front of the holoprojector. Didn't look up when I arrived. He already knew. He saw Revan's face. He knew the entire time. A spike of anger interrupted my numbed mind. My jaw clenched. Why didn't he tell me? The old man…he was mocking me the entire time, wasn't he?

I pushed away the anger. No feelings. I ignored him and clacked over to the bench. Standing on my leg was painful—I could use the Force to suppress the pain but…

My hand lifted. Choking. Bastila was choking.

…I deserved the pain.

I sat on the bench and stared into the blue holoprojector lights. Carth didn't say anything for a while. In fact, I wasn't sure if he was going to say anything. Eventually, there was an impatient sigh from Canderous.

"Okay, what the hell is this about?" he asked. "What did he want to tell us?"

My gaze didn't leave the dancing lights. In a way, I was mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do.

"Do you want to tell them?" Carth asked. "I will if you won't."

It was supposed to be a threat. As if he thought I couldn't say it. But I had to say it. I needed to. It was the only way to make them stop following me.

I leaned back, took a deep breath, then released it.

"I'm Darth Revan."

The disorganized sounds of the ship machinery followed. No one said anything for a long time.

Mission was the first to stutter.

"Wait…what?"

My mouth grew bitter. I hated saying it again. So, in order to convince her, I looked away from the blue lights into her eyes.

"I'm Revan."

She blinked. "Revan?" She stared into my eyes for a minute then snorted. "Ha, Wes, very funny, and I'm Darth Malak. What did you really want to tell us?"

"He's not joking." Carth walked forward. Next to me. "Revan didn't die. The Jedi Council captured the Dark Lord and erased his mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the Leviathan and Bastila confirmed it."

"What?" Canderous' voice pitched up. "He's Revan?"

"Programmed…?" That was Juhani. "What does that mean…? It can't mean—"

"It means that Wesley Gale was never real," Carth spat those words at me. He then addressed everyone. "Bastila was captured. She sacrificed herself so that the mission could continue. Revan's memories were leading us to the Star Forge this entire time. That means his memories are coming back. They've been coming back the entire time. He could wake up any day now and kill us all. So, if you want to, you're free to leave." He paced around the holoprojector. "Bastila intended to keep quiet about this until the end, but I don't…think that it's right to ask you to risk your lives for this mission anymore. You have a few days before we arrive on Yavin to make your decision."

The crew grew silent. No one moved. Verena's face had become stone cold.

"Does he…" I sensed Mission sitting next to me. Why is she getting close? "How much do you remember?"

Instead of the terror I expected to see on her face, her eyes were watering. Sadness. She was…sad. Not afraid. Or—

I looked away. "I remember…some things."

"Only some?" She sighed. "Then I don't see the problem. If you don't remember being Revan…then that's not you anymore. You're Wes now, right?"

She was in denial. She couldn't accept it.

"I killed a father in cold blood." I looked at her dead in the eyes as I spoke without emotion. "I broke his bones—I tortured him to death. I didn't care…at all about his pain. I didn't care about the daughter and mother he would have left behind. I slaughtered a Jedi without remorse. Killed an entire Czerka troop without flinching. Millions dead. I may not remember being Revan, Mission, but it doesn't matter. I'm a cold-blooded killer—"

"Shut up!" Tears ran down her face. She brushed away her tears violently. "Shut up…stop…stop saying stuff like that! Y-You're Wes now! You're not Revan—you're not like that! You're not a killer!"

The words—her crying…she was crying. Hyperventilating. Good. Now she's afraid.

"Mission…" Carth's voice had finally softened. "I'm sorry. I know it's…it's a hard reality to accept, but it's true. It doesn't matter what he remembers. Revan did those things—"

"Shut up!" She shot out of her seat to shout at the pilot. She wiped away her tears. "He's…he's not a Sith Lord anymore! He's my brother—he's our friend! Malak destroyed Taris—not Revan! So who cares?"

"How could you say that?" The warmth in Carth's voice was gone. "Before Taris, the Sith bombed my homeworld. Revan took away my family and destroyed my life. He may not have harmed you directly, but he harmed me and many others, Mission."

Her face twisted. "I…but I…he's…" Mission's lekku waved as she shook her head, tears still fell from her face. She stared into my face. Eventually, her expression set. "I don't care! I'm staying! He's not Revan anymore!"

Carth shouted after Mission, yet she ran off into the depths of the ship. A minute after she left, Canderous sighed.

"Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to destroy Telos, Carth. You can't blame Revan for that."

"Revan started this war." Carth's voice darkened. "He was Malak's Master. It doesn't matter if Malak made the call. If Revan hadn't started this war, my wife wouldn't have died. So, yeah, I'm blaming him."

"In war, sometimes a soldier is disobedient." Canderous shrugged. "In war, worlds burn. People die. Your dead wife isn't special, flyboy."

Carth's face grew red. He walked up to the Mandalorian.

"What did you just say?"

Canderous didn't flinch as he smirked down at Carth.

"I said that your. Wife. Isn't. Special. Flyboy."

Juhani caught Carth's fist.

"Please, stop you two!" She tried to pull Carth off, yet he yanked away from the Cathar and punched Canderous in the face. The Mando staggered back a few paces. He recovered quickly then rushed at the pilot—he managed to lift Carth by his jacket. The Mando threw him against the holoprojector with a thump. Juhani finally used the Force to throw Canderous to the ground. "Enough! This…we can't be fighting—!"

"Of course you would think that, Canderous!" Carth limped off then pointed with a wild finger, shouting, spittle flying. "You burned worlds just as much as Revan and Malak did! You had no family or loved ones to lose!"

Canderous sneered as he stood. "You think I didn't lose anyone, Onasi?" He wiped the blood from his cut lip. "Aliit ori'shya tal'din. Family is more than blood. The clan was my family. Thousands of my brothers and sisters died in the battle over Malachor. Do you see me crying about it?" He met my gaze then strode over. In a single gesture, he got onto one knee before me. He looked up at me with intensity. "You defeated the Mandalore clans in the war, Revan. You were the only one in the galaxy who could best us. We had never met one like you before, and never since. Whatever you are fighting, it will be worthy of my skill. I'm your man until the end, Revan, no matter how this plays out."

I'll never abandon you.

No. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They weren't…supposed to pledge themselves to me. They were supposed to leave.

"You…" I looked away. "You shouldn't do that."

"Why shouldn't I? It's like I said before. It was not your ships or your men or your vaunted 'fight for freedom' that won the war. It was by the actions of one person—you—that the Republic prevailed."

Anger rose in my chest. I still spoke without emotion.

"The last time people pledged to Revan, they went to war and died or became Sith," I said. "Why would you want to fight for me? I don't remember being Revan—you're not pledging to Revan. So, I don't accept your pledge, Canderous."

He stood from his kneel. "You don't have a choice, pipsqueak. You can try to convince me otherwise, but I won't listen. I'll follow you no matter what." Whatever you're getting yourself into, I'll back you up in a heartbeat. Canderous walked up to Carth. "There's your answer, aruetii. I'm not going anywhere."

And with that, Canderous sauntered away into the halls. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised that he reacted that way. Guess this means I'll need to run away from three people…great.

"Revan…" Verena's voice was quiet. "You…I should have…" She rubbed her forehead. "I knew. I knew yet I…" The Echani's shoulders shook. "On Tatooine…I recognized the stances. You fought like Revan. I didn't believe it. I thought it was a coincidence. Revan was supposed to be dead. I knew, yet I didn't…" Silence. Then, Verena sank to her knees. "I'm a fool. A complete fool."

She'd gone silent again. Eyes blank. Juhani and Carth stared uneasily down at the Echani. Jolee…was still staring into the holoprojector.

A split second later, there was a piercing scream. Yusanis' blade flashed in the lights of the Ebon Hawk. Then, a hiss and a blue lightsaber intercepted Verena's downward strike.

Her eyes had become wild. She shouted at Juhani who had stopped the blade from cutting me.

"Jedi, go away! Let me kill the one who—!"

She stepped back and tried to attack again, yet Juhani used the Force and pushed her into the storage closet. Boxes and bins fell onto the Echani. Once Verena had been subdued, Juhani called Yusanis' blade to her hand.

"You will not touch him!" The Cathar's shoulders shook as she shouted. "He…the one that was Darth Revan is no more! He's a good person now. The man who saved me could never go completely to the dark side."

Verena laughed as she stood. "Naive. So naive. Like all Jedi." She stormed out of the storage closet with gleaming silver eyes. "Do you know what Revan made me do, Cathar? He had me hunt for children that could use the Force. He made me take them to the Sith Acadamy where they would be tortured to the dark side. I saw the atrocities that Darth Revan committed—I remember the terrible things he did that he can't remember. You think he is 'good?' A good person doesn't stab a man who fought for him in the back!"

Juhani's body shook. "You saw his atrocities…yet I saw his compassion!"

"Wes wasn't real—"

"No! Revan saved me! He saved me on Taris!"

Verena stared at her. Confused. Eventually, Juhani turned to me. Her yellow eyes were filled with tears.

"I told you, remember?" She walked up then sat next to me. I stared into the holoprojector again. "The Revanchists saved me, yes, but I…I didn't tell you the whole story. It was not any Revanchist. It was the Revanchist. It was you." Her breath shivered. "The battle with the Mandalorians had long ended in the Upper City but my enslavers, Mandalorians, were still killing in the wreckage of the Lower City. When the fighting ending above us, I hoped that the Republic would come down. Rescue me. Yet, no soldiers ever did. They only…they only cared about the Upper City." I glanced to the side. Tears were falling down her face. "But then, there was an explosion. A blue lightsaber flashed in the smoke. My enslavers were taken out and the Jedi, a man in a red Mandalorian mask, saw me. He picked me up and carried me to safety. You saved me. Revan saved me." Her breath heaved. "I always secretly looked up to you after that. So…so, when I heard that you had become the Dark Lord of the Sith, I knew that…that something was wrong. The man who saved me that day couldn't have become a Sith Lord."

Smoke. A small child sniffed. A Cathar girl. She was chained. Hurt. How could they? How could those fiends do this? I ran up and used my lightsaber to release the child from her bonds. She stared up at me with wide eyes. Shivering with hunger and cold. I lifted her—

I shook my head and looked away. The memory went away.

"People change, Juhani."

"Yes." Her voice was warm. "I changed. You saved me twice. Once on Taris and again on Dantooine when I fell to the dark side. You were a good person, Revan. A good person who…turned to the dark side. I don't know why but it doesn't matter. I know that anyone can be redeemed. You changed for the better. You proved it to me on that river."

The Jedi sent Juhani with me as an "example." Well, now I know what they meant. She hadn't just been an example to curb my "arrogance." They wanted me to save her again during my trial. It was another manipulation. Another trick. They knew…Revan had been the one to save her. They tricked her into falling back then. They wanted to remind me that Revan had done some good. That he'd saved her life. Or they used her as a test. To see if Revan had returned.

Yet it was pointless. Who cared about all the good that Revan did if it was marred by the millions dead in this war?

They used Juhani too. Like they used Bastila. Used them…to make sure Revan would never return. It shouldn't have been like that. I would have rather they let me die than for them to do this. To trick me into believing in a false life. Which was why I had to go. To protect them.

Verena had become quiet.

"Revan didn't change. The Jedi used the Force on his mind to make him change. That isn't redemption."

"Then the man you want to kill isn't truly Revan then, is he?" Juhani said.

The Echani hesitated. Her shoulders fell. Then she walked towards me. Juhani stood, blocking her way.

"I will stay—here's why." Verena's face scrunched as she looked down at me. "Someday, you will remember what you did, Revan. And when you do, I challenge you to an honorable duel. We will fight to the death. If you accepted Yusanis' challenge, then you will accept mine."

"You can't." Carth finally interrupted. "We need him to find the Star Forge."

"I don't care about your Star Forge," she hissed. "And I…you think I could kill him? Really? No, I-I should have fought Revan back then. I should have died with Yusanis that day. It is my one regret in life. I will never make the same mistake." Verena took a step and tried to reach for the blade. Juhani didn't let her. She sighed. "I never go back on my word, Cathar. I promise…I will not kill him."

Juhani stared into Verena's eyes for a long time before she finally relented. The Echani took Yusanis' blade and didn't look back as she rushed towards the engine room.

Juhani sighed as she faced me again.

"Well, you know my answer. I will not leave your side either." She bowed. "It is an honor to help you on this mission…Revan."

I opened my mouth—ready to tell her that…the sole reason she was here was as a lesson for me. Yet, would that really convince her? Had I been able to convince her not to listen to me before? No. No, it would only convince her to fight for me more.

After she bowed, she left towards the dorms after Mission...

At this point, no one on this kriffing ship was listening to reason. A sane person would have seen the signs. How could they still want to fight beside me even while realizing that Revan could someday wake up? Kill them all?

Master Zhar's voice floated into my mind.

"Revan had trouble sticking with one Master over the course of his training."

"Why so many Masters?" Wes asked. "They didn't like him or something?"

"Oh no," the Twi'lek said, laughing. That had been the first time he'd heard Zhar laugh. "In fact we all loved him. Always had an air of charisma..." He trailed off as if remembering something nostalgic until his cool smile dipped. "But that ended up being a part of his downfall."

An air of charisma. I'd unintentionally convinced them to follow me throughout this journey. Perhaps some of Revan's charisma still remained even after the Jedi used the Force on my mind. So, I would once again be leading people to their deaths. Leading people to the dark side. I was a taint on all of them and they didn't even know.

I couldn't let it happen again.

Carth sighed. "Jolee?"

The old man didn't move. He'd been silently standing there this entire time.

"Hmm? What?"

"Were you…even paying attention? He's Revan. Everyone has made their decisions already on whether to stay with the mission. What about you?"

Jolee glanced at Carth then back at me with a raised brow.

"What about me? I already knew who he was. In fact, that's why I'm here."

Carth flinched. "What?" His face tightened. "You knew? You knew and you didn't tell us?"

"It wasn't my place to." He leaned back on the balls of his feet with a sigh then met my gaze. "I told Bastila that you were better off knowing the truth. She didn't listen to me of course, stubborn girl. Does it change anything? I told you—I'm not here to judge you. You'll do what you have to, and I'll help if I can."

"This is…" Carth rubbed his face. "So, this means everyone is going to stay? Really? Revan could wake up and kill us all tomorrow and no one wants to leave?"

"You…you're being a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"Harsh?" Carth's voice rose. "No, apparently, I'm the only sane one here! You didn't see him, Jolee. His eyes were…bright yellow—he fell to the dark side. He almost killed us on the Leviathan."

"Imagine waking up one day realizing your entire life was a lie." Jolee looked Carth directly in the eyes. "All the memories you had with your wife…your child…what if they weren't real? What if instead you learned that you were a Sith Lord? How would you react?"

The pilot grew quiet. Then, he shook his head again.

"Honestly?" He sneered down at me. "I would think that I deserved it."

With that final sentence, Carth marched away towards the cockpit. Jolee sighed as he watched him leave. He glanced back at me—concern flickered in his eyes.

"You doing okay, kid? You've been…quiet."

He was right. I deserved it.

I leaned forward, head too heavy to keep up. A dark pit grew in my stomach. I had no choice, did I? I had to do what the Jedi refused to do myself. If I didn't, they would all follow me to their deaths. It was the only way to protect them.

"I'll…" Jolee sighed. "Right. You're probably thirsty. Can't do much talking while parched. And hungry. I'll go grab you something."

With that, the old man paced away towards the canteen. The blue lights danced. He returned in what seemed like seconds later with a steaming bowl and a cup of water. When I didn't take it, he let out a long sigh. I'd thought he'd leave after that—yet he sat next to me on the bench.

"If you need to talk, I'm here. Force knows you need to." He grew quiet. As if thinking. Then— "What the Jedi did to you… it wasn't right. I wouldn't do it to anyone—even if that person was a Sith Lord. Even if it were to save the galaxy. I couldn't live with myself."

Kriffing—this old man. The numbness in my chest went away. Replacing it was anger. I finally looked up to glare at him.

"That's why you were afraid of me, wasn't it? You were afraid Revan would wake up." I shook my head. "Well, you're right. They shouldn't have done that. The Jedi should have just killed me. But I deserved worse, didn't I?"

"Now, now. Let's not get dramatic. What you deserved isn't a factor here. Murderers and conquerers are given the decency of the death penalty without the added mental torture—at least in the Republic. The Jedi Council betrayed the Code and Republic law to do what they did to you. A Jedi never attacks—they defend. Manipulating and attacking the mind of an injured, defenseless man with the Force is…something a Sith would do. Did. I was in the war with Exar Kun. I would know." He paused. "You are haunted. I can tell that you remembered some of what they did to you."

I pursed my lips. Heat grew in my face.

"So?"

Jolee searched my eyes.

"I wasn't afraid of Revan. I feared that this mental manipulation would make you unstable. You showed signs of being unstable. And I…don't blame you—it would make anyone go insane. Honestly, you're taking this better than I expected..." I returned to staring into the blue lights. The numb feeling returned to my limbs. I didn't want to talk anymore. I wanted him to go away. Yet Jolee was still there. "I doubt you are taking it as well as you appear to be. You're suppressing your emotions. You don't have Bastila there to read your mind anymore, kid. You need to talk about it. It isn't healthy to—"

"For once in your kriffing life." My voice was still emotionless even though I wanted to scream. I glared at him. "Go away. Leave me alone. And mind your own fucking business, old man."

That fear. It returned in Jolee's eyes.

"You still don't get it, do you? Mostly everyone told you that they will stand beside you and help you. Yet, you still don't believe it. Still won't accept it." He paused. "Well, you were always like a stubborn uller—at least that hasn't changed." He put the bowl of rice and meat down and pushed it closer to me. "Just…eat. Please. At the very least. When you're ready to talk…I'll listen."

I didn't answer him. I looked down at my hands. Didn't look as he finally left.

Didn't eat.

Didn't think.

Didn't feel.