Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

Nightfall. Dustil always slept with one eye open. It wouldn't matter.

Through passion, I gain strength.

Shaardan was the second denizen of our quarters. It put me in the perfect position to execute my task.

Through strength, I gain power.

I sat up, silently. So silent, Dustil wouldn't have heard me. I glanced over at Shaardan's prone body.

Through power, I gain victory.

Scrawny, like a stick. I don't think he could lift his own weight even if he trained for years. I focused on him, sensed the nerves that plagued his mind, and then…remembered something. Biology, the mind, all of it is connected in the Force. The nerves trail up from the hand like puppet strings. Shaardan's body twitched and then as if awakened by a nightmare, he grabbed his forehead with a shout. Dustil shot up from his bed and gave him a concerned look as he rolled to the floor, grabbing his head as if it was being held in a vice. In a way, it was. The nerves in his brain ruptured, the electricity-causing synapses exploded instead of sparked, and he could no longer lift his hand to grab his lightsaber. Instead, all he heard within his mind was fear.

Through victory, my chains are broken.

"What the hell is going on!"

I ignored Dustil's shouting. Focusing…always focusing…on Shaardan… He gasped then finally made an attempt to attack. He lifted his hand, throwing his lightsaber at me with the Force. I got up from the bed to dodge and released the Fear I'd gripped him with. He growled in pain, muttering curses.

"Coward!" He pulled the lightsaber back into his hand. "Fight me face to face! You—"

His words were cut off by the hiss of a lightsaber. Time had slowed down, down to a microsecond, I could see sweat rolling down Shaardan's head as I rushed up to him and slid Jorak's lightsaber between his ribs. His wide eyes met mine before…the light within them burnt out.

The Force shall free me.

Sorzus Syn wrote those words—actually transcribed from the enslaved race, the Sith. She among so many others had been exiled by the Jedi. Without a home, they took Korriban from the Sith. Peace is a lie—dreams of an unknown planet at the edge of the galaxy, tranquility, the silence beneath the willow tree—it was a trick of a weak mind.

Dustil unleashed his own blade yet I ignored him as I sat once more on my bed, watching Shaardan's corpse pulse as life left it. His hurried breath eventually quieted once he realized I wasn't going to attack him too.

He gaped, completely speechless.

"You…you killed him!"

I shrugged.

"He was snoring."

"You can't be serious!"

"I'm surprised you haven't killed him yet." I waved. "It's what Sith do, after all."

He narrowed his eyes.

"I thought you were an undercover Jedi. A Jedi wouldn't have killed anyone like that… Does my father know what you're up to?"

Oh. Right. Carth.

I glanced at the door, feeling a slight tinge of regret.

My first lesson with Yuthura was about what I expected. She ordered me around, mostly. Performing exercise after exercise all day. Then, once I'd about almost collapsed due to both lack of sleep and hunger, she ordered me to kill Shaardan for ten points. And he just so happened to be in my own dorm room.

Carth was in his Sith disguise in front of the dorms. He tried to ask what happened, yet I ignored him. As for Jolee…

When I arrived that night, Jolee was found snoring in the spare bed in the corner…and right now he was completely unaware of what just occurred. I envied the old man's ability to sleep so deeply. He wouldn't like the sight of this dead body though...

I frowned then stood again, approaching Shaardan's corpse. Lifting the dead weight by the armpits, I struggled to drag him towards the door. Before I got far, Dustil grabbed Shaardan by the legs and lifted him.

I stopped moving.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like? There's no way you're dragging him all the way outside on your own."

"I'm fine."

With a tight tug, I pulled Shaardan's legs out of Dustil's hands. If Carth was somehow still awake out there, there was no way I was going to let him see his son drag around a corpse. The young adult's pale features tightened in the shadows.

"So, you realized that I was right then?"

I stopped dragging Shaardan for only a second. Then, I used the Force to open the doors with a swish. I could just dump his body out in the valley. Kath hounds or worse would eat the evidence. I dragged the corpse past Carth who was, fortunately, passed out on the floor.

Dustil was unfortunately following me. He gave the Sith soldier one odd look before ignoring him in favor of following me.

"Did you hear me? You gave up, didn't you? You couldn't find any proof that the Sith are as bad as you say."

"Oh, there's plenty of proof." I stopped and then waved at my face. "Myself for example."

"What have you done that is so 'bad'?"

"Hmm, well, do you have a few hours? It'll take me all night to list everything."

Dustil let his mouth gape. He snapped out of his shock by rushing to take Shaardan's feet again. I was about to pull the corpse out of Dustil's hands but he interrupted me.

"You're pissing me off. Dragging him around like a bag of rations. At least give him some decency."

"Why? Did you care about him?"

Dustil grimaced, not due to Shaardan's weight.

"Of course not! But he was my roommate for…a year…"

"So, you did care about him." I glanced down at Shaardan's dead face. A prick of…guilt. "Sorry."

"Shut it!"

After he snapped, I chose not to speak again. The halls were mostly silent though, occasionally, a troop of Sith soldiers passed us as we dragged the corpse around. They didn't stop, either due to fear that we'd retaliate or…well, that's probably why they didn't stop to stare, really.

Once we got outside, Dustil finally spoke.

"You still didn't tell me what you did."

I sighed then led us up the stairs. We'll dump him somewhere up high where he won't be discovered. Near the top of the valley. He followed, reluctantly.

"I killed him because he was snoring, isn't that enough?"

Dustil shrugged. "If he wasn't weak, he would still be alive."

"So, it isn't bad to kill everything and/or everyone in cold blood without consequence? Because if they die, they're weak and deserve it?"

Dustil huffed. "I wouldn't word it that way, but yeah."

"So, your mother deserved to die?"

With that, he dropped Shaardan's legs. I grunted as the sudden weight dragged me down. Fortunately, I caught him before he went tumbling down the steps. Dustil's gaze was serious, his voice low.

"Never, ever, say my mother deserved…that."

"But to the Sith, she would have been weak, right? Why did she need your father's protection? Or yours? Why couldn't she protect herself?"

Dustil's body became as rigid as Shaardan's.

"Fine. Sure." He bent over and picked up his friend's legs. "My mother was weak. Just like how I was weak. And my father."

I grit my teeth after Dustil doubled down on the Sith's rhetoric. I'd thought I'd almost convinced him, and maybe I had in a way. At least a little. As we climbed the steps, I could see his eyes occasionally flick toward the bottom of the valley. He was thinking, hard, about what I said.

Finally, we got to the top of the valley. Beyond, I could see the Dreshdae settlement and behind us, the valley expanded on and on, tomb after tomb. We threw Shaardan's corpse down and dust rose with the weight. With a sigh, I sat next to it, looking calmly at the horizon.

Dustil coughed.

"So, are we just gonna leave him there?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Um…" His voice drifted away, awkward. "I'll just…grab a shovel."

As soon as he left, the silence of the night returned. Only to be interrupted by a fly. The bug buzzed and encircled Shaardan's corpse. His white eyes watched the stars with me.

Cracked blood within the roots. The masks all looked the same.

I blinked then took a deep, shaking breath. Then, I leaned forward, rubbing my forehead.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should have felt guilty killing a man with the Force like that. Yet, instead, I was just…tired. Too exhausted to care. That and Shaardan was a Sith anyway. He would surely kill in cold blood. Just like Uthar. Just like Yuthura. Like…me.

After the random spike of fear left, I looked up again. The distant stars blurred in my eyes as the feelings drifted away along with the thoughts.

I must have been sitting there for…minutes. An hour? I snapped out of my reverie, or nap, after I heard a clatter then sensed someone sitting next to me.

Dustil threw the shovel at Shaardan's corpse.

"Best get started."

I sighed before standing, bones aching, so much so I grabbed the shovel on my way up with the Force. My joints groaned in pain as I walked up to the corpse. Shaardan had begun to gurgle and smell…something. It was a familiar smell. The smell of death. I didn't look at him as I focused on the dirt with the Force and, with all of the strength I had left, plunged the shovel into the hard ground. The sharp steel scraped the red rocks over and over again until a Shaardan-sized hole had been carved in the ground. The pile of red rocks grew beside the body as I worked on adding another tomb to the valley.

Sweat built on my brow. I wiped it away with my gloved hand and looked over. Dustil still sat there, looking over the horizon as I had. I was surprised he hadn't left already. He didn't seem too happy to be in my presence.

Eventually, he spoke.

"So…where did you get that?"

I planted the shovel in the dirt and then looked up. He had turned to face me.

"What?"

"That. On your face."

He pointed to his cheek. I turned away from him and continued to dig.

"The Sith. Hot brand."

"Oh, so you were tortured then?"

"You know that the Sith torture people and you're still not convinced that they're bad?"

Dustil sneered. "The Republic tortures people too! Probably worse—I heard they use Truth Serum to get information. Hypocrites."

Flash of a needle. Heat in my veins. Questions that I didn't know the answers to.

I shook my head.

"Whatever the Sith do…it's worse. Believe me."

His eyes narrowed.

"Oh yeah? How would you know?"

"I don't have proof. Not that you need any when you're already convinced."

"Huh?"

"If you truly believed in what the Sith were saying, you wouldn't ask if I had proof." I threw another pile of red rocks away. "You wouldn't give me the benefit of the doubt if you didn't want to believe me. You wouldn't care."

His eyes wavered about, like a dance, nervous.

"No, I'm convinced. I just thought it would be funny to watch you run around like a headless gizka to find proof that doesn't exist."

"Or…" My pile of rocks shifted with the wind. "Something has already made you doubt the Sith." I saw his body twitch. Ah, then I was right—something had happened. Something, maybe, with this Selene. Uthar made a note that she was a weakness...so something had to have happened there. I threw another pile and didn't even wait for him to argue. "Selene was hindering your progress."

The shovel flew out of my hand. Replacing it was Dustil who had shot onto his feet. Anger radiated off him like steam.

"How did you—"

"—know? I did some snooping."

He crossed his arms. "She wasn't hindering me. I'd just…" His voice trailed away and got softer. "I was in her way." I tilted my head. Yet, I didn't interrupt him. Instead, I went back to shoveling and waited for him to continue. "She was a refugee like I was, from Telos. We were in the same training group. The same…everything. She had trouble with the training, so I…helped her. And we could talk, you know, about home." He kicked a rock. "I…it wasn't enough. She ended up throwing herself off from here after a bad day."

I stopped shoveling and looked back at Dustil. He acted unphased, yet behind his eyes, I could feel his mourning. Then, I was once again reminded of something that Uthar said. About some truth that Dustil didn't know. That if he found out, he wouldn't quite be on the Sith's side.

"It wasn't your fault."

He narrowed his eyes.

"I know. She, like all the others, was weak."

"No. You couldn't protect her just like your father couldn't protect your mother. It wasn't your fault. And it wasn't your father's fault for failing to save your mother. If the Sith hadn't attacked, no one would have died. Sure, Malak made the call but Revan held the leash to the hound." I lowered my head and looked at the new tomb. "He got off too easily, I think."

Dustil's face became stone. His mouth opened and closed, making up wordless arguments. I ignored them all in favor of the grave. It was surely shallow enough to satisfy Dustil now. I threw down the shovel and made my way to Shaardan. His corpse was…getting worse by the minute. With a long sigh, I gripped him by the armpits once again and dragged him into the grave.

Once he was in, Dustil walked up to my side.

"Why did you really kill him?"

I used the Force to grab the shovel. If only HK was around…he could do all this digging. Probably would complain the entire time...but it would serve him right.

"As I said, snoring."

"That old man was snoring. You didn't kill him."

"Huh, well." I swung the shovel over my shoulder. "Guess he's next."

"You're…absolutely insane, aren't you?"

"Yup."

Dustil's bewildered expression was his response. I responded by shoving the dirt back into the hole and onto Shaardan. As I began filling the hole, my joints once again creaked with pain. While refilling the grave, Dustil left with a huff back the way he came. I paused for only a moment to watch him leave.

Sure, Dustil was saved physically. Yet, he wasn't saved spiritually. As a Sith, he would cause more evil. Cause more traumas. Someday, he might regret living too.

Yet, there was nothing that I could do.

Better not get attached then.

The grave was barely halfway done when spots formed on my eyes. Force…I might actually pass out up here. Though, honestly? It was better to sleep far away from that Academy. Far away from any knives that could stab me in the night.

The shovel shook…

And that was the last thing I remembered.

Droids worked around the clock screwing in the charred remains of my apprentice's trachea to the vocabulator and breathing apparatus.

Based on the preliminary, he'd never eat or taste whole foods again. Instead, he would be forced to remove the chin guard and connect himself to a feeding tube. As for his breathing, the trachea had to be forced open with a metal tube or else it would close without the mouth. Speaking was optional. I could have allowed him to stay mute, but he would lose his usefulness quickly if he had remained that way. Though I also didn't want to hear his voice again, so I made sure his new voice was…different. Deeper. Droid-like.

I'd been in there watching this autopsy-like dance for…hours. Longer than necessary.

As I watched the surgery, Malak watched me. He had been awake for this entire process. Intentionally. I wanted him to feel it. Feel his mistake. Feel what it meant to betray me. For a second, and only for a second, I considered going through with it. Kill him like one would a rabid kath hound. It would have been a mercy. No one deserved to live a life like this, enslaved to machines, breathing metal and eating paste.

The thought of mercy only lasted a second, of course.

For Telos, for disobeying me, he deserved worse than death.

Finally, the droids finished connecting the vocabulator. The blue lights flickered on and what remained of his upper lip trembled. After letting out heaved breaths through the mechanism, he spoke his first words with his new voice.

"I…hate…you."

"Kid…kid!"

A bright flash burned my eyes. The sun. Two shadows stood over me, someone was snapping their fingers in my face. I coughed and tried to lick my lips before realizing…how dry it was. So dry, I couldn't even speak.

Eventually, through the fog, I recognized one of the shadows. Jolee's face creased with concern. He dug through his bag and produced a metal canteen. I grabbed it reluctantly and drank. As I drank, I noticed the other shadow. A Sith soldier. Carth. I felt myself grimace and then roll onto my stomach, half spilling the water near…Shaardan's slackened hand. Near the half-filled grave.

Well, so much for keeping this crime of mine on the down low.

Thankfully, Jolee didn't bring it up.

"When was the last time you drank water?"

The cantina. No. Wait. I only had alcohol there.

I waved a hand and pushed myself up…only to feel nauseous. Yeah, it must have been a few days. So much had happened, too much, that I'd neglected my own body's needs. Funny. It would be a funny way to die.

I laughed but Jolee interrupted me.

"Have you eaten anything?"

I coughed again. "Jolee…I'm—"

"No. No. You're not fine. Stop that." He dug through his pockets, producing a nutrient bar. "Eat this. Slowly. Throwing up isn't an option for you."

"Jolee." Carth walked up to the grave. "He killed a student."

"I can see that. We'll worry about it later."

Carth didn't argue which was really out of character. I heard a clatter from something metal. More rocks scattered across the half-filled grave as Carth began finishing the job I started last night. Finally, after taking a bite or two from the bar, I sat up, ears ringing.

"How…" I coughed. "...did you find me?"

"Dustil," Carth answered. "When he said you were up here we got, well, reasonably worried."

Silence.

It was interrupted by Jolee slapping my shoulder.

"Keep eating. We're not going anywhere until you finish that."

I sneered. "Who are you, my mother?"

Instead of joking back, Jolee responded by giving me that serious, worried look again. Honestly, what was with them? Sure, I'd almost died of dehydration, but they were acting as if I'd almost fallen off the side of the valley. With the Force I would have survived without water for at least—

The wind howled over the edge.

Oh.

Dustil hadn't mentioned Shaardan, had he? They thought I'd gone up here for another reason.

Feeling abashed and queasy, I ignored that implication and Jolee's order to finish the bar by shoving it in my pocket.

"As much as I would like to chat, I don't have time. I need to go to Yuthura's lesson."

"Yuthura's lesson?"

"She plans to use me to kill Uthar during the trials. In a couple of days, we'll have the Star Map and leave this hell."

"Is this why you killed the poor lad? For her plan?"

I scoffed. "Poor? He's a Sith. Nothing poor about him."

I limped away, not in the mood to hear Jolee's moralizing. His moralizing is exactly what got me into this situation in the first place. This…false hope that I was somehow a changed man after the Jedi erased my mind. Carth was left behind to finish burying the dead man. And Jolee, unfortunately, followed me down the steps.

"You were a Sith as well, weren't you?"

"I'd happily throw myself over the cliff edge, but I don't exactly deserve a peaceful end."

"Okay, now, why are you still saying things like that? Do you remember what I told you on the Ebon Hawk? You know, that you're capable of love? That you can be redeemed? Or does your amnesia extend to a few weeks ago now?"

I stopped and looked out at the ancient valley. The sun, which was barely rising, felt hot on my skin.

"You were wrong." I turned to look up at Jolee. "Bastila was wrong too. Revan was a psychopathic monster who felt nothing after he maimed his friend. I felt nothing when I killed Shaardan. And I feel nothing now."

Jolee crossed his arms. "Oh, no, even if you're not consciously aware of it you're feeling something, kid. Frustration. Anger. Guilt. Fear. Sadness. I see it there on your face. Saw it…from the beginning. You aren't hiding behind a mask anymore. No point lying to me."

My breath froze as I recalled the conversation we had on Kashyyyk about Revan's mask. Then I remembered that seemingly unrelated story about a boy who pretended to be a kath hound to protect those he loved. In return, he lost his humanity. I turned away—I couldn't face the old man. Not when I was beginning to feel that he had actually made a point.

Running was, perhaps, cowardly. Yet at least having the appearance of strength, a tender lie, was better than admitting defeat.

Jolee didn't stop following me as I walked down the steps, down the hall, towards the training rooms. Towards Yuthura. He didn't say anything to me, yet I knew he followed me only because he knew I couldn't turn around and argue with him about anything.

I only stopped when we got to the training room.

"You're not allowed in."

Jolee shrugged. "Then I'll wait for you here."

He leaned against the wall and smiled.

I frowned. "Why are you following me? The Sith will kill you if you keep it up."

"I already told you, I'm not following you. I'm watching you." He sighed. "You know, one of my biggest mistakes was at least not pretending to listen to my wife that day. Because if I'd followed her…I would have been there to stop her."

My brow furrowed. "If you stay close, Yuthura will be suspicious of you. I don't want you to die."

He snorted. "We all die eventually, kid. Sometimes death just happens. Now, just because death exists, does that mean we have to distance ourselves from others to protect them?" His eyes flicked away. "I used to think…yes. Not anymore."

Oh, Force, it really was a mistake to talk to him again.

I turned around quickly and entered the training room—trying to put Jolee's words out of my mind.

Yuthura faced me, her hot blade brandished, her face showed no expression.

If there is no peace then passion, and only passion, exists. It pushes and pulls the galaxy into conflict, "peace," conflict, war, conflict, death. Heroes and villains rise and fall with nothing to show for it.

Her blows were quick. I dodged them all before finally deflecting a high strike. Her silver gaze met my own.

If peace never comes, then you must always remain strong.

Before she could overpower me, I used the Force to throw her back.

No failure. One victory.

She flipped in midair and then threw something at me, a box. I couldn't dodge so I cut the object in two. The fight went on, for hours, and neither of us broke a sweat. Unfortunately, my fatigue and hunger had more of an effect on me than I thought. Yuthura swiped Jorak's lightsaber out of my hand. The heat of her blade brushed near my chin.

A moment passed. Then, a grin.

That day, Yuthura put me to work again. She'd only made a single comment about Shaardan's death, that it hadn't been painful enough, before awarding me ten points. Thirty-five. Sixty-five more points needed in four days. Which meant I would be given more tasks.

And my next task was…?

Techniques. I had to learn Sith techniques.

On the second day of my training with Yuthura, she taught me how to harness Force lightning. That evening, after training for hours, for so long I couldn't feel my arms, she led me down a level to a dank cellar-like room. Jolee, as always, followed yet Yuthura didn't even mention his presence. She didn't even comment after the old man followed us into the new room. I glared back at him. He didn't move an inch though and Yuthura was still unbothered.

A target sat on the far end of the cramped room. Yuthura stood at my side.

"The only way one can harness Force lightning is through pain." She faced the target, raising her hand. "The lightning travels through your arm and those who cannot withstand the pain…die." A spark then a million tendrils erupted from her pale hand. All hit the target with precision. "Without pain, without the dark side, using Force lightning is impossible. A Jedi would die if they tried since they refuse to acknowledge their passion or strength. Restraint is deadly using this power." The lightning ceased. "You will let yourself feel the dark side, Gale, and release it."

She nodded and let me step forward. I raised my own hand and eyed the target. Then, without warning, a strong burning sensation hit my side. I hissed at the sudden pain, twisting my head at the source.

Yuthura was hitting me with the same lightning she had hit the target with before. I winced as the electric tendrils danced across my skin, my arm. Burning…but not enough to leave a mark. I ignored the pain as much as I could and lifted my hand again to aim at the target. Yet, no matter how hard I focused, I could only feel more pain at my fingertips…as I tried to manifest the Force there.

"No!" Yuthura shouted over the lightning. "Don't ignore the pain! Feel it!"

I hate you!

Images entered my mind after I listened to Yuthura…voices from the past…false memories…or real ones.

—like Exar Kun! You will fall just the same!

It wasn't your fault, you know. There wasn't much that we could do. It was either—

Lies. It was your fault. It is always your fault.

Their deaths didn't need to happen.

You're Revan. Darth Revan. Evil. Sick. Monster.

"..."

Wherever you are now, whatever you are doing in this great galaxy...I will love you. Always.

A piercing scream interrupted the voices in my head. Lightning weaved from my gloved hand, scattering in wild directions. I let the pain from it consume my arm, my chest, let it hurt me. I deserved it. The pain from my side disappeared and, eventually, so did the lightning that left my own hand.

A moment of silence, only interrupted by my heavy breathing.

A few claps.

"Good." I turned. Yuthura was smiling at me. "Very good. Not many are able to manifest the lightning so quickly… Five points."

Forty points. Sixty points to go.

I turned. Jolee frowned at me from his corner. Disappointed.

You can't disappoint him.

Sure I could. If it meant saving the galaxy, I would disappoint him a million times over.

"Ten points."

Another student. Dead. Not Lashowe—she was missing since the Mandalorian incident. This student had disappointed Yuthura that day. Her death was painless.

"Five points."

Another technique. Dominate mind. Another student was used—made them stab their arm with their own lightsaber.

Weak mind.

"Two points."

Mastered Juyo—the seventh form. Banned recently by the Jedi due to its use by Darth Revan. Yuthura was shocked that I copied her movements so quickly, yet I knew that I'd already learned it before. In fact, I'd already been using the form unconsciously. Much to the Jedi's horror.

I couldn't tell her why. Or how.

"Eight points."

Facilitated the torture of a student for information. Using my new technique, I forced what they were hiding from within their mind into the light. A cave in the south. I wanted to not feel disgusted, not feel guilty by what I'd done, yet after it was over and Yuthura took over…I couldn't help…but turn and watch Jolee's stare.

I realized that no matter how many terrible things I'd do, I would always feel guilty if the old man watched me do it.

"Twenty points."

So, I couldn't let him watch me this time. Using the information we'd tortured from that spy, Yuthura tasked me with finding and ultimately killing a group of students that rebelled against the Academy. Would it be right though? I stared at Yuthura for a long time after she made that command. They weren't Sith, technically, I would be killing innocents if I agreed to do this.

But…they were dead already, weren't they? If Uthar and Yuthura already knew where they were, it didn't matter if I was doing it.

It needed to happen. Yet, with Jolee being there, judging me, killing them would be impossible. Therefore, in the dead of night, after I made sure Jolee had passed out from exhaustion, I left the dorm room and made my way to the caverns they hid in.

I traveled for only a few hours before I finally found them using my datapad. A cave in the south. The same image I extracted from that student...it was there. Using Jorak's lightsaber as my torch, I walked slowly into the cold cave, making sure to keep myself on guard the entire way.

Unfortunately, I was attacked before I could even find the camp.

A wild red lightsaber hummed past me. I dodged and I used the Force blindly on my attacker. They yelped in pain after I supposedly slammed them against the wall. Another came at me from my side—they didn't even see it coming. Half of their body fell to the ground and I silenced their screams, silenced their pain.

"They found us!"

A young woman cried out. The same one I'd thrown against the wall. I used the Force to squeeze the air out of her lungs. Two others dashed from within the dark cave and…

I don't remember what happened next.

All I do know is…one of the rebel Sith remained. She knelt on the floor, weaponless, defenseless, pleading.

"Please!" She threw her weapon away. "I…I don't want to fight! It's…"

I wavered.

No. My grip felt slippery. She's tricking you. Finish this.

She surrendered. She does not wish to fight. Let her live.

Yuthura told you to kill them. All of them.

Would she even know if I let one survive?

She will know. She always knows.

The hum from Jorak's lightsaber interrupted the terror from the last rebel Sith. She mouthed to herself, over and over, again, again, again…

There is no death, there is only the Force—

"Kid!"

I lowered my hand and sheathed the lightsaber. Before I could do or say anything, the last rebel Sith sprinted out of the cave. After a moment of silence, I turned to face Jolee.

Horror. It was written on his face. As expected. He saw the atrocities I'd committed. Four bodies of ex-Sith students were all strewn around the cave after they tried to defend themselves from me. One, headless. Another split in half. One cut to pieces. Another slammed against a rock. It was a familiar scene—I'd done the same to a troop of Czerka employees on Kashyyyk.

I did that.

I killed them.

My body shook…felt sick…and I fell to my knees, throwing up nothing. After I recovered, I threw Jorak's lightsaber far away with a loud shout. I never want to use it again. The entire time, Jolee didn't approach. He didn't say anything to me. And he didn't say anything to me even after he followed me out of the cave into the Korriban night.

I only needed twenty-five points. I only had two days left. And after, once we left this hellhole, everything would go back to the way it was supposed to. Yuthura would die. Uthar would die. Malak would die.

Before we made it back to the Academy, I stopped. Jolee stopped with me.

"I'm sorry."

The old man didn't say anything for a moment. Then, he sighed.

"There's nothing that you could have done. That Sith woman made you do that."

"I—" I interrupted myself so that I could turn to face Jolee, shocked. "If you know, then why did you look so…disappointed?"

"I thought for a second while you were standing there that…well…" He rubbed his balding head. "I thought that you didn't have remorse." A small smile crossed his lips. "I'm glad that I was wrong, though."

"Why does that matter?"

Jolee shrugged. "Remorse…the lack of it makes a man evil."

"You thought that Revan had returned?"

"No." His eyes wavered. "I thought you had been lost to the dark side."

My breath froze.

"You already know that I have no choice but to play Yuthura's game."

"Sure, sure, but that doesn't mean you also have to push us away. You need us more than ever. I thought…you already knew that."

"To protect you, yes. I do."

"Bastila said the same to me about you, you know."

I blinked.

"What?"

"She said that she was pushing you away to protect you. From, well, you know. I asked her on Manaan after I noticed how cold she was acting towards you. Towards…all of us." He tilted his head. "How, exactly, did you feel about that?"

Lost. Confused. Hurt. I felt as if…she didn't trust me anymore. Trust any of us, really.

Jolee grinned once he noticed my expression turning. "Exactly how I and Onasi feel right now. Make sense?"

"But—"

I cut myself off with a groan before stomping away. Maybe she was right to push me away. Would I have felt betrayed if she had kept her distance? Would I still feel a…tinge of betrayal now if she hadn't fallen for me? Would I have wasted so much time on Yavin if I hadn't cared for her?

Maybe it would have been better for her, and for me, if she had stayed away.

Two days. There were two days left until the trial and I needed twenty-five more points.

Word had already gotten around to the other students that I was racking up points. More points than any student previously had ever earned. Which also happened to put a target on my back. I already had three attempted assassinations. All of which I avoided by killing the perpetrator. After the third one, they mostly stayed away.

I sat in the Drunk Side cantina—Carth sat on a table in the corner. He also occasionally watched me whenever possible. Jolee was less secretive about it, of course, sitting only a few seats away. All of the students were eating dinner at the moment—I ate a bit as well while also keeping an eye on my back.

Dustil sat at a table with Mekel. Lashowe had been missing for days. Last heard she'd gotten lost in one of the tombs trying to get points needed for the trial. I still needed to find her and kill her too. As I watched Dustil, in the back of my mind, the conversation I had with him about Selene played over and over.

If she had someone like Dustil with her, someone she could talk to, why did she choose death?

Yuthura slid into the seat next to me. She always interrupted my meals and we'd always talk about the philosophy of the Sith. I'd play devil's advocate, of course, and even though I pissed her off occasionally, I think she enjoyed battling with me. Defending the Sith's ways. It was one of the many games that I was forced to play with her.

"Quiet today?" Yuthura didn't like silence. I muttered an unintelligible word and took another drink. "You did well today—those students would have formed a rebellion. As much as that might provide some chaos after the trial, I would prefer things to be quiet after. If you know what I mean."

Dustil turned and shot me a narrowed glare. In response, Mekel pulled at his arm almost as if warning him to not antagonize me.

"Why do you care so much for that boy?" Yuthura asked.

I turned my head, watching her over my arm. She had that curious look on her face, it was an honest question. She wasn't fishing for any secrets.

"I don't. Not really."

"Ah, but you do. If you cared for his life. No need to protect him. He's not going to have enough prestige for the trial, anyway."

I sighed, looking at my nearly empty glass.

"I promised to keep him alive for a friend."

"A friend?"

"A soldier." I shrugged. "It's that simple."

"You mean Carth Onasi?" I eyed Yuthura with suspicion. She grinned. "He thinks we don't know, but we knew who he was. Son of a Republic soldier, abandoned at a refugee camp, we knew what strings to pull to get him on our side."

Strings? So, the Sith manipulated Dustil, they knew exactly what lessons to teach, what would get him pledging to the Sith. They made him despise weakness. So, once he made friends with Selene and found a connection with her and Telos…the Sith couldn't have that.

My hand froze.

Kriff.

"You told me that a girl jumped before." I put the glass down. "Her name was Selene."

Yuthura didn't say anything. I almost thought she'd run off, yet she finally spoke.

"Uthar had her killed. She was getting in the way of Dustil's progress. And, in a way, he was right. He is finally getting prestige, learning the techniques…"

"So, he was fed a lie? Selene was murdered."

Yuthura shrugged.

"Selene was never going to amount to anything. One of my failures really."

I balled up my fist. "Then I'll go tell him. He needs to know."

"He won't believe you." She sighed. "You have no proof."

"I'll find proof."

"Good luck with that."

I stood, looking down at Yuthura. Then, before I could leave to try and find this proof, I turned to face the Sith Master again. There was something odd about all of this.

"Why did you tell me this?"

"Why not? I have nothing to lose telling you."

Yes. But she had nothing to gain either and it wasn't like Yuthura to help. Or maybe it was.

"Do you have nothing to lose telling me where I could find proof then?"

A smirk tinged Yuthura's lips. "You really do know how to charm…" Her hand clasped her drink as she answered my question. "Uthar used an assassination droid. It went rogue after Selene's death though. Currently, you can find it in the tomb of Marka Ragnos where it is…killing all students that try to enter. If you manage to get its memory core..."

Then I would be able to show Dustil what happened. The tomb of Marka Ragnos. That was the same tomb Verena was last seen at. And the same tomb I would find HK-47 too. If a rogue assassination droid was in there, then Verena might have run into it. She could be hurt, killed maybe. I eyed Carth in the corner. Then Jolee. They must have gotten my silent memo since they stood a moment after I turned around and left.

They followed me as the sun gradually began to set out into the valley floor towards the tomb marked as Marka Ragnos'. I stopped before the crumbled ruin—from what I remembered, Exar Kun had gone to this tomb to summon Ragnos in a ceremony to proclaim himself as the Dark Lord of the Sith. It was no wonder why the tomb was so opulent, so clean, compared to the others.

Before I could say anything to either Carth or Jolee, Carth threw a blaster at me. I caught it, tilting my head.

"You…don't even know why we're here," I said.

"Sure. But I noticed that you don't have a lightsaber and I have a feeling we'll be going in there." He pointed at the entrance of Marka Ragnos' tomb.

I nodded, gripping the blaster tight. I told both Carth and Jolee what I'd discovered from Yuthura and that the proof we needed was in this tomb. I neglected to tell them that Verena may be in there as well, but I honestly didn't want to get their hopes up. Not when I wasn't even sure if she was alive.

Then again, if she was dead, HK would have come back by now…

Carth sighed then held his own pistol tight in his hand.

"So, we're looking for a droid?"

"An assassination droid."

"So, like the one that follows you around all the time?" Jolee asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe…I don't know." I took a step forward. "Hopefully it's all in one piece…"

We entered the tomb and I shoved the door open with the Force. The foyer was silent, dust drifted in the air and incandescent lights lined the walls. Just like in the other Sith tombs, the walls were marked with Sith writing and pictures. I rubbed my hand on one of the walls, reading some of the writing. Most of it was…flowery poetry detailing Ragnos' one-hundred-year rule.

Carth coughed. "Ugh, the air is so thick."

It was. The heat was stifling and I could smell…steam or some sort of gas. Jolee unleashed his green lightsaber and used it as our light. A pile of droid parts sat in the corner. So, it wasn't just one droid then. There were many.

"Mark IIIs and Mark Vs." I bent down over the parts. "If we use ion charges it should take care of them. If we run into them. But we should avoid using those on the assassination droid. We need its memory core."

"Roger."

Carth kept a careful hand on his grenades. Ready for anything.

We were attacked as soon as we entered the hall. Jolee deflected the red bolts back at the offending Mark IIIs then used a Force stasis to keep the droids still. Long enough that Carth and I could both shoot at their exposed wiring. The three droids sparked and burst into flames after our bolts cut into their weak spots.

"More of them!" Jolee called out.

I turned and paused. More of them was an understatement. A whole troop of droids clattered down the hall. Too many. Carth shouted for us to clear as he threw the ion grenade. The blue sparks sent many tumbling but it wasn't enough. More replaced the five that went down. We had no choice. We had to run back to the foyer. Carth threw another grenade and it once again slowed them down. Enough for us to retreat and slam the doors shut behind us.

We all took in deep breaths as we leaned on the door…though none of them seemed to want to try to come after us. They were defending…something.

"What do we do?" Carth held up his last grenade. "There are too many for us to hold off at a time."

Jolee glanced over at me. Giving me a worried look. I knew what that look meant. He knew what I was going to try. And he wasn't going to like it.

But…we didn't have a choice, did we?

Focusing—recalling pain—I gripped the handles of the shaking door, closing my eyes. A shock of pain rippled up my spine. Monster, evil, weak, worthless…

Revan.

"What…are you doing?"

I ignored Carth and shoved the doors open with the Force. Without waiting, a bolt of lightning ruptured from my hand. My face, my chest, grew cold. Body chilled despite the heat of lightning surging out from my body, from the Force. The lightning bounced from droid to droid shutting them off immediately. The wave flowed back and forth throughout the mass of droids. The white light reflected off the clean walls.

It felt…good.

A minute passed. Long enough.

I released my grip on the Force and took a few steps back, breathing heavily. I ripped off my glove after I felt pain shooting up and into my hand. Black veins curled up my arm…like a disgusting mockery of one of Yuthura's tattoos.

"What…the hell was that—!"

Danger. I felt my mind blank and I grabbed the offending shadow by the neck, shoving them against the wall without any strain.

"Wes!"

Closing in…the shadow was struggling as I gripped their neck tight. Breath gone. Power. It fed me…gave me life…

"Revan!"

A hand grabbed my shoulder and tried to pull me back. It wasn't strong enough but it snapped me out of it. Carth had been shoved against the wall…by my dark-veined hand. I released him without hesitation, stumbling back, almost tripping on a fallen droid. Carth fell to his hands and knees, coughing hard. I shuddered, afraid of what I'd just done. I'd succumb to the dark side, again, and in exchange Carth almost died. Monster. Evil. I pushed those thoughts aside and rushed to Carth, sliding to my knees.

"Force, I'm…I'm sorry. Are you—"

He pushed me aside as he stood on wobbly legs.

"Whatever." He glared at me. "The droids are dead. Let's get the memory core and rescue my damn son already."

I pursed my lips as I searched Carth's face. He seemed…afraid of me. For good reason, but he was visibly hiding his fear. Which wasn't like Carth at all. He would do anything to save his son. Even if it meant tolerating the Dark Lord of the Sith. I pushed myself onto my feet, grabbing my discarded blaster on the way up with the Force.

As we walked down the halls, I made a promise to never use that power again.

The nihilistic part of me didn't believe in that promise whatsoever.