AN: Sorry if the editing is a little bad on this. I just got a COVID shot. Still, it's better than having the real thing, so it's worth it!
Also, I've been having troubles getting emails from this site, so if I haven't answered you, please be patient. I'm trying to get it resolved.
Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
How could Hermione not know how beautiful she was?
Severus gazed at the woman he cared for more than anyone else. She was seated on her bed, her body bathed in the full moonlight. Her skin glistened as her brown eyes danced in mischief. Under the blankets, her leg shook, yet it only added to her beauty. She was who she was, and she was perfect as she was.
Judith Turner was attractive in her own right. Even Severus couldn't deny that. Yet, she was too perfect. With one wrong move, the illusion of her perfection would shatter into shards around him. Hermione was real though, a person with a mind he'd grown to admire, a wit he'd come to enjoy, and a heart he'd come to cherish.
How had someone so beautiful, so intelligent, and so kind care for him?
"Well," Hermione began, her smile wide, "what terrible date story do you have for me tonight?"
"Yes," he cleared his throat. "Tonight's date was intriguing."
"Oh my, this is bound to be an amusing story," she laughed.
His chest warmed at the sound. Her laughter was intoxicating, ensnaring all of his senses. When had his best friend become the most desirable woman in the world?
"How bad was it?"
"Actually, it did not go horribly at all."
"It didn't?" The light in her eyes lessened.
He gestured for her to move her legs. She did so, her expression difficult to decipher.
"It was not horrendous at all." He sat on the edge of the bed. "Judith Turner is a pleasant enough conversationalist. She is an accomplished businesswoman and knows her way around a potions lab. She was somewhat enjoyable to be around."
"I've heard of her," Hermione shifted her eyes to a loose thread in her satin sheets. "She's the founder of a skin care company, correct?"
"Indeed, she has her own line of products, which from what I understand, is quite extensive and even more profitable."
"Yes, I used to look through the aisles at them, wondering if I should try any of them."
"Have you ever done so?"
"No," she began picking at the string. "Something never felt right about it."
"What didn't feel right?"
She shrugged. "I figured perfect skin other women. I could dress myself as nicely as I could, but my hair and my face are hopeless. Clear skin doesn't make up for a trembling leg either."
"You have no need of her products," Severus answered. "You are stunning just as you are."
She stilled her hands, though her leg spasms increased.
He put two fingers under her chin and raised it. "There is never a need for you to use products. You are alluring just as you are."
"I haven't been attractive to anyone in years. Actually," she sighed. "I've never been attractive."
"That is not true. You are a beautiful woman."
"Severus, please don't toy with me, not tonight."
"I never toy with people I care about," his voice was firm yet gentle. "I may tease you, but I would never toy with you, especially not when discussing my emotions towards you."
"So you think I'm beautiful?"
He nodded before removing his hands from her.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I don't think anyone other than my parents has ever said that to me. Even before my disability, nobody found me beautiful."
"People are dunderheads who do not know true beauty."
"So did you find Judith unattractive?" The spark returned to her eyes.
"Let's just say I was more impressed with her intellect than her appearance."
"Oh," she slumped.
"Granted, she is not as intelligent as you, but very few people who are."
"I was called the brightest witch of my age for a reason." Her lips curled upwards.
"And I will never forget that, and if I ever do," he lowered his voice, "you have permission to hex my balls off."
"Don't put that idea in my head." She smirked. "Someday I may take you up on it."
"I will do my best to avoid your wrath then."
"You do a decent enough job at that." A tendril of hair fell on her forehead. "I may become cross with you, but never wrathful."
"You would be one of the few who could say that," he tucked the tendril of hair behind her ear, reveling in the softness and warmth of her skin.
"So there's no embarrassing dating story?" She blushed.
"Not tonight, though I may have one as soon as I find her unworthy of my attention."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I think I have a way out of this bet, one which I may not find completely torturous."
"Which is…?"
"I can date her."
"What?" She exclaimed as her eyes grew. He recoiled form the volume. Then, she covered her mouth and whispered, "sorry."
"There is no need to apologize. I realize how shocking it must be for me to go along with Minerva's scheme."
"It is. I mean, wasn't your ultimate goal to get out of dating anyone?"
"I know, the idea of dating sounds absurd, but there is a method to my madness."
"What would that be?"
"Judith Turner is enjoyable, and someone who would make a reasonably decent professional contact. She is not a terrible woman to converse with, unlike many of the other dates I have had to endure."
"So if you date her, then you will not need to worry about anyone else coming and torturing you."
He smirked. "Exactly."
"On paper that sounds all well and good, but what about Judith's heart? She may believe you want an actual relationship with her. Won't it be heartbreaking if she realizes you only see her as a way to get out of an unfortunate bet?"
"I made it clear towards the end of our date I was only looking for a friend, but that I am not opposed to meeting new acquaintances. So long as things remain casual, I will see her again."
"Plenty of casual relationships become serious, some quicker than you could imagine."
"This will not be one of them."
"How can you be so sure?" Her voice was louder.
"Because there is something about her which gives me pause," he admitted. "It is not enough to discredit her as a pleasant acquaintance, but it is enough to discredit her from a romantic relationship."
"And if whatever gives you pause turns out to be an illusion and you find your fears were unfounded. Then what?"
"I have no interest in dating her or anyone else, so the question has no merit."
"Love can sneak up on you."
"Hermione," he took her hand. "There are few things I am absolutely certain of, and the fact Ms. Turner is not my type is one of them. She is interesting as an acquaintance and I do not wish for anything more."
"How much longer will you feel that way?"
"The rest of my life." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I am not interested in anyone at the moment."
"This moment will pass."
"You need to trust me on this. I have no interest in her."
She opened her mouth, only for him to put a finger on it.
"Ms. Turner seeks perfection. I am anything but that. Once she realizes how many imperfections I have, she will move on without any hard feelings on my end."
"And you're okay with that?"
"With never seeing her again once this bet has concluded? Yes."
"And if she wants you?"
"I will remind her that I have always said I wanted something casual, a desire she should have respected."
"What do you want most out of this?" Hermione whispered.
"To be out of this bet."
"No, I mean, in a woman, what do you want in a woman?"
"Someone who can admit she is imperfect."
She cocked her head.
His voice was soft. "I want someone who understands that I am not perfect, and that she is not perfect. I need her to be someone real, someone who will bear her soul to me, and make me feel secure enough to do the same. She needs to compliment me, make me feel like I can strive to be someone better while accepting I will fall short of my ambitions. She needs to be patient, acknowledge she is not perfect, and be authentic to who she is. If she can do those things, I will be authentic to who I am around her. Only then will I feel confident giving my heart to her."
"But in the meantime, you'll settle for whoever will get you out of these dates," there was a flicker of sympathy in Hermione's eyes.
"Can I expect anything else?"
"Of course you can," she squeezed his hand. "One day, you will find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved."
"I deserve to be alone in my dungeons stewing in my self-hatred." His eyes softened. "Some days, you're the only reason I don't shut myself off from the world and stew in my own self-loathing."
"You deserve a happy life," her leg spasmed again.
"I don't know if I agree with that, but," he gave her a small grin. "I am happy with you in my life. Of all the women I've known, you're the one who has made me the happiest."
"Truly?" Another tendril of hair fell on her forehead.
"Truly," he returned her hair to its proper place, taking comfort in the feel of her skin. "Unlike everyone else, you've stayed."
"I don't plan to go anywhere, at least not until you want me to leave."
"i never want you to leave."
"Then I will stay forever." She winced.
"Hermione?" He released her.
"I'm fine," she squeaked. "My leg has been acting up tonight. I would have been in my sitting room waiting for you, but I needed to get as much weight off of it as I could."
"Perhaps you should get some rest then," he began.
"No, I wanted to know how you were doing, and if you had a juicy story, to hear about it."
"The juicy story is I must either feign interest in Ms. Turner or go on more horrid dates."
"What if there was another way?"
"What other way?"
Her eyes flickered, only for him to continue to stare at him. Then, the light in them was extinguished as fear began to cloud them.
"Hermione, are you well?"
"I'm just tired." She yawned as her leg began to shake more violently. "Sometimes my leg hurting takes more out of me than I realize."
"If you would like, I can stay and assist you in anything you need."
"No, I don't want to be a burden," she refocused on the thread. "The last person I want to be a burden to is you."
"You are not a burden to me." He tilted her chin up to him. "You're anything but a burden to me. In many ways, you're the only person in my life who isn't a burden."
"How much longer will that be the case?" She whispered.
"For as long as we exist," he answered. "As long as we exist, you will never be a burden to me."
"You mean that, don't you?"
"I meant it when I said I will never toy with you. This is me being more honest than I ever have been with anyone else. You are not a burden, and you never will be."
She relaxed.
"Now, do you need me to do anything for you?" He asked.
"No, except," she swallowed. "If you are settling for Judith, if this relationship is just a way for you to get out of a bet, do tell her sooner rather than later. Don't hurt her."
"I promise to do my best to avoid that very thing." He stared at her forehead. Never had he been tempted to kiss someone in that spot, yet if ever a moment was right to press his lips against Hermione's skin, it would be now.
"Good night," she began before laying down. "Sleep well."
"I will." He bent down, further considering planting a kiss on her forehead. Thinking better of it, he got off the bed and exited the room.
Had Severus turned around, he would have seen a tear trickle down Hermione's cheek. Had Hermione followed him, she would have seen a tear trickle down his cheek, the feeling of betraying her growing stronger with every breath he took.