Council President and Bruised Delinquent: The Unfiltered Truth
By Kimi Kawano
It wasn't long after Ren Amamiya arrived at Shujin that he set his sights on Makoto Niijima. As our (formerly) exemplary student council president, she gets all of our attention with ease. However, it seems that she had her mind on things other than leading our school through this tumultuous year, due in no small part to our aforementioned delinquent. Amamiya has started fights, belittled our noble volleyball players, and set Shujin Academy's single-month record for profanity usage, clearing the previous record by 74 f-bombs.
Now, you may be asking, "Kimi, why does all of this matter?" and I'll tell you this: context matters. I need to paint you a picture of the kinds of people that I'll be analyzing in this post, with help from several trusty sources. After all, what kind of reporter would I be if I did not tell you the whole truth?
As many of you all know, Amamiya arrived at Shujin at 8:21 am on Thursday, the 29th, with a black eye (pictured above*[1]). That day, discourse on the delinquent soared. We all had our own theories about how he obtained such a gruesome injury, and each of them were equally correct. Personally, I believed that he got it after attempting to kidnap someone's newborn child. Fortunately for newborns everywhere, they are safe from Ren Amamiya.
In a revealing interview with Shujin Academy's very own Eiko Takao, we get into the gritty details of her first-hand account of Amamiya's menacing mug. What follows is a transcribed interview I had with the self-proclaimed "Princess of the Tsukasan Empire."
Kimi: So, Eiko, give it to me straight. How'd Ren get his black eye?
Eiko: Well, it all started with a little act of kindness on my part. I've always had a soft spot for people like Makoto and Ren—people who are misjudged by the others around them. I always heard the rumors and felt bad, so I reached out to Makoto.
Kimi: Your kindness is renowned around the school. Just the other day, a teacher-
Eiko: Excuse me. Who's the one being interviewed?
Kimi: (silence)
Eiko: That's right. So anyway, my boyfriend Tsukasa is, like, a total sweetheart. With his blessing, I reached out to Makoto to invite her on a double date. Obviously, I wanted them to make some new friends because they always look so lonely around school. It's so sad, I could almost…
Kimi: There there, Eiko.
Eiko: (cries profusely)
Kimi: So you guys go on the double date. What happened then?
Eiko: So, like, we finished eating. I had these chicken tenders and they tasted sooooo good.
Kimi: Everyone loves a good te-
Eiko: Hey. This is my time in the spotlight, not yours. As I was saying, we finished eating. As we go outside, I see my boyfriend telling Makoto how nice she is, which he only did because he's such a gentleman. She's actually a total [redacted], and so is her boyfriend. My boyfriend attempts to be friendly with Ren because he's nice like that, and what does Ren do? I guess he didn't like another guy complimenting Makoto, which is, like, such a toxically masculine thing to do, so do you know what he did?
Kimi: What'd he do?
Eiko: (yelling in my face) Do you know what he did?!
Kimi: Nope, that's why I'm intervi-
Eiko: GUESS WHAT HE DID?!
Kimi: (I gave up and stayed silent until she told me what he did)
Eiko: Ren shoved my boyfriend! And, you know, my boyfriend is a saint, but he's also a man. A real man! So he turned around and punched Ren so hard that he… that he…
Eiko spent two minutes trying to find the proper words to describe Amamiya being knocked out. When she failed to come up with any, I proceeded with the rest of the interview.
Kimi: So it was your boyfriend defending himself that gave Amamiya his black eye?
Eiko: Oh yeah, and that's not where the story ends. Makoto, totally evil and stuff, killed my boyfriend.
Kimi: She… killed him?
Eiko: Okay, maybe she didn't kill him, but she kicked him, like, really hard.
Kimi: Thank you for your bravery, Eiko. Most of us couldn't dare to offend someone as dangerous as Amamiya, or someone as powerful as our student council president.
Takao only granted me the interview on one condition, so here's me fulfilling that obligation and letting her plug her profile:
Eiko: Make sure you all go follow me at EikoNotIco on Shujinstagram!
All of this is incredibly revealing news for us Shujinites, but the potential for more is ever-present. That is why I got not one, but two sources. I know, I know. I'm the best journalist ever. No need to thank me. Anyway, my next interviewee requested anonymity so that he isn't headhunted by Gardeners Raging Against Veganism Yearly, the club Amamiya and his gang run.
Kimi: [Timid Shujin Student], you've approached me out of nowhere in desperation for one reason: you want our school to know the truth about the student council.
Timid Shujin Student: I do. And I'm tired of seeing Niijima-senpai be used by a no-good, rotten apple like Amamiya.
Kimi: Are you saying that Niijima is not to blame for any of her more questionable actions as student council president?
Timid Shujin Student: No. Of course she isn't. Niijima-senpai is perfect, the definition of pure. Unfortunately, there's a corrupting hand manipulating her, guiding her down this dark path of self-destruction and she can't even realize that.
Kimi: I'm assuming this "corrupting hand" would be Amamiya?
Timid Shujin Student: Who else? He even tried to have his way over the student council just a half hour ago. He entered the student council room with nobody's permission, then interrupted every instance of us getting work done by distracting Makoto. I saw- I mean, my friend told me that Amamiya was aggressively giving our president a shoulder massage during the meeting, all while telling the rest of the council off because he saw himself as more important.
Kimi: The horror! Anything but a massage!
Timid Shujin Student: I haven't even told you the worst part. We all know Eiji Tanaka and his fight for first-year equality on the school's social platform. He's the real standup guy of the council, and he was right there with Niijima-senpai as one of the two on the council who made a real difference. I mean, he could probably be the king of Shujin academy while Niijima-senpai serves as his queen!
Kimi: Not sure I see that ever happening, especially with you- I mean, Eiji's reputation for being Chouno-sensei's favorite student, but we all know the point: Amamiya's arrival at this school has made it objectively worse. Not only has he caused endless commotions in the halls, but he's even poisoned the best among us.
Timid Shujin Student: Precisely. That is why I, [Timid Shujin Student], vow to take revenge on Amamiya. To tear this school free from his evil, vice-like grip, to unshackle our beautiful president, to-*[2].
And that's enough of that. As seen in both the interviews, Amamiya is in an enviable, but unrealistic, place. He does whatever he wants, wherever he wants, however he wants with little consideration for those around him. His frail ego shatters at the slightest offense, only to ramp back up when his toxic masculinity screams for him to act rashly.
For the normal, everyday students of Shujin, how does this affect you? Well, that's where it gets dicey. Outside of Niijima's commitment to the student council and Amamiya's commitment to poisoning the well, both of them function as social outcasts. They are beyond the fringe of the respectable hierarchy we've built for ourselves because of one fact: they do not seem to care that much.
As evil as they (or only one of them) may be, they keep to themselves. That much is a thing to be grateful for. Signing off for today, I'm Kimi Kawano, and this was your Daily Shujinews.
*[1]For our viewers that have not updated Shujinstagram to version 2.1 and are unable to view images, the picture shows Ren Amamiya, left, and Makoto Niijima, right, holding hands with shocked looks as they are caught on their way from their student council sabotage. Amamiya's bruised eye is viciously dark.
*[2]As mandated by our anonymous source, The Shujin Academy Newspaper Club endorses Eiji Takao for Secretary next year. Turn in your early-action ballots and receive a sticker to feel good about yourself!
Supplementary Reading
-Bill's Dizzying Effect on Tokyo Culture-
-Yuriko Kuramoto: Victim, or GRAVY's Hidden Agent?-
-Dai's Big Day—Self-Proclaimed Rap God Releases First Mixtape-
Saturday, 10/1
Ann stayed away from Shujinstagram. She did upload photos to her private page, only doing so to keep such photos in one location if she needed them for modeling purposes. Outside of that, she never scrolled through her feed. The days when she had were long gone. Shiho enjoyed Shujinstagram's social aspect quite a bit, and Ann kept up with it exclusively for that reason, but her engagement dropped off a cliff once her friend departed from the school.
Not that Ann's engagement mattered. As that morning demonstrated, Shujinstagram did not need one student for the site to drive buzzing whispers of backroom gossip through the roof. In fact, the site crashed. This was less impressive when considering how low of a budget Shujin Academy and its associated schools had for any server infrastructure, but still a display of something.
Of course, Ann had to see what the fuss was about. The first post she saw upon opening Shujinstagram was a hit piece directed at none other than the Lord of GRAVY-esque Goodness himself, Ren Amamiya. Under the threat of Kawakami's less than strict teaching, Ann read the entire article. Every word her teacher said went in one ear and out the other as Ann lost a considerable amount of brain cells.
They really darkened his black eye for the photo! The photo was by far the most appalling part of the article, and that said a lot. An array of emojis was plastered all over the doctored image, making the photo look like a desperate internet thumbnail. Ann figured it was in character for a club so willing to spread lies, but she thought that everyone possessed at least a smidgen of decency.
Turning around during one of Kawakami's lectures always proved unfortunate for Ann. Her slacking was obvious, too obvious, and just to talk to Ren with whispers hushed enough to make even a selective-hearing journalist say, "Huh?"
Instead, Ann texted him.
Ann Takamaki:
-You saw the article, right?
Ren Amamiya:
-The club actually sent me a PM to check it out, funnily enough. Good article.
Ann Takamaki:
-Good article?! This is slander.
Ren Amamiya:
-It's not slander at all.
Ann Takamaki:
-How the hell is accusing you of manipulating the smartest girl in school not slanderous? They literally call you evil!
Ren Amamiya:
-It's not slander because it's libel.
Ann Takamaki:
-Big difference.
Ann Takamaki:
-Ren, you can't just do nothing about this. This is on the internet, it lasts forever!
Ann Takamaki:
-At the very least, you need to demand apologies from Takao-san and Kawano-san.
Ren Amamiya:
-Oh, don't worry. I have a trick up my sleeve, along with a very well-thought-out Plan B.
Ann Takamaki:
-You better. They can't get away with posting shit like this!
As Ren stood before Makoto, sitting at the student council table to plead with her, he gave everything to his performance. "Shut down the newspaper club."
"I'm sorry, Ren. I can't do that." Makoto crossed her arms with a half-smirk across her face. She had no plans of obliging Ren, clearly, but found some amusement in him approaching her with such an absurd request.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because they're within their rights as a club at Shujin."
"Really? Posting libel is allowed?"
"Shujinstagram was an idea pushed forth by the aging administration to appeal to the youth—you really think they thought about libel guidelines for a school-run social media platform? There are no such restrictions in the terms of service."
"They didn't consult any lawyers?"
"Lawyers cost a lot of money and Shujin plays cheap."
"But… but…" Ren, defeated and out of arguments, rested on his laurels. "They don't even really do anything… it takes zero effort to run a club as they do."
"Even though I'm in the club, I could say the same thing for GRAVY."
"What? In what world are GRAVY and the newspaper club similar?"
"Are you really going to pretend that you haven't been writing the mandatory monthly reports for the club that vividly describe us gardening each day of the week while wearing custom merch that has our last names on the back?"
"Well, uh, that's different."
"They wrote their article, Ren. You haven't cared about their articles before; why start now? Every decent student knows that those posts are nothing but lies." As if. Ren heard more whispers than ever. Not that it was a problem for him, definitely not. He only got upset over it because it disrupted Kawakami-sensei's great lecture that she worked so hard on.
With nothing left, Ren tossed out one final attempt. "You really can't shut the club down?"
"Sorry."
"Shucks."
Well, if I can't get the club shut down, I can always discredit their sources. I'll move forward with Plan B tonight.
"Good afternoon, Maruki-san," Ann said as soon as the door to the nurse's office opened. The counselor himself stood before her. Ann rarely saw Maruki, but he continuously maintained his put-together look: a lab coat over a light blue dress shirt. His tie was loosely fitted around his neck, almost as loose as the rolled-up ankles of his khaki pants. "Kawakami-sensei said you wanted to see me?"
As ordered by Kawakami, Ann was supposed to report to the nurse's office following the end of school for a routine counseling session. Ann didn't understand the full reasoning, but she assumed Maruki would explain things more.
"Ah, great to see you Takamaki-san. Come on in." Maruki beckoned as he walked back into the nurse's office. Ann followed, watching the counselor take a seat in one of the chairs before she took a seat for herself on the couch. Without being invited to do so, Ann took some chocolate from the bowl at the center of the coffee table; enough good word of mouth of Maruki's generosity passed from student to student that Ann knew of his generosity with candy. "Thank you for joining me. Quite a few students choose to just skip these meetings, unfortunately."
"Really?" Ann believed it, but saying so felt disrespectful. "I figured you'd be overbooked with appointments from students."
"I appreciate you saying that… but the nurse's office is never busy enough."
"It's their loss."
"And that is what pains me about it. I'm here to help them, but I suppose therapy, or even just a conversation, is a bit boring in the age we're living in. No one wants to speak with each other these days."
Ann almost laughed. Here was her school counselor, still a relatively young guy, who was giving out old person takes. "I don't know about that. Sure, there are people on their phones twenty-four-seven, but other there are still people around talking. Plus, there are people from your generation and the generation before that are addicted to their phones—they just don't want to admit it and project onto the new generation."
Maruki chuckled, folding his hands in his lap. He seemed pleased by Ann's insightful response. "You have a keen eye. Have you thought about your plans beyond Shujin? I know that you're only a second-year, but things only get faster from here."
"Oh, it's started already. This year's gone by so much faster than the last one, or is that just me?"
"Well, it is just you, but that does apply to everyone else." Maruki sat forward. He looked Ann in the eye, though the light reflecting off his glasses obscured his eyes. "My father explained this to me once. Every passing year is a slightly smaller part of your ever-expanding memories. This year will be one-seventeenth of your life so it feels like less than previous years. The same applies to me—this year has been one-thirtieth of my whole life and it's been a bit difficult to keep pace."
Ann thought about age a lot. She wanted the freedom of adulthood, the uninhibited lifestyle that independence brought, but believed she would never be ready for it. How on Earth could she feel prepared? Was someone supposed to be teaching her about adult stuff? Ann figured some of it must have been in her classes, just disguised as schoolwork. That must be why she couldn't remember it; she didn't do the schoolwork. "It must suck getting old."
"Hey!" Maruki acted offended as best he could, his hands in the air and a smile on his face. "I'm only thirty!"
"I-I don't mean you," Ann immediately corrected. "I was thinking of… my parents. Whenever my dad's home he's not there as much as he was last year. He's fading. And for my mom…" Ann hesitated. Her next words would be an unfathomable evil—words so cruel that the oceans would turn red and fish would rise to the surface. "Er, this is confidential, right?"
"Absolutely. Everything said in the nurse's office stays in the nurse's office."
"My mom," Ann began, stopping to filter herself. "It's visible that she's getting older. Her hair's losing its color and wrinkles are setting in."
"It happens to everyone. Honestly, I sometimes think we weren't meant to make it past our most capable version of ourselves, but modern medicine has outpaced nature." Maruki added a chuckle to make himself sound less morbid. "Sorry, I realize that may sound a bit dark."
"Weren't people in the medieval ages dying by, uh, thirty?"
Maruki laughed. "That's right. I don't think that a plague-infected body is the best version of anyone, but you get my point. It's rare for us to peak in our old age. Maintaining happiness from our youth in the later years is the most arduous task of all." Ann stayed silent. Unsure of what she could add to Maruki's thoughts, her blank face looked back at the counselor. "Uh… did I take us too far off topic? Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. My job is to talk things over with students, after all."
Ann always found the doctor's clumsiness and his anxiety over being consistently kind of endearing. The counselor was someone who pretty much everyone liked. Ann disliked to give in to the opinion at large, but they were certainly right about Maruki. If she couldn't trust him, who else could she trust?
Maruki righted the course of the conversation along with his sitting posture, straightening his back and crossing his legs. "We were talking about your plans after Shujin, I believe."
"Oh! So, about that…" Ann felt embarrassed whenever her failure became a talking point. She rarely spoke to others about it, mostly just Ryuji over some nighttime text conversations and Haru at breakfast some mornings. Despite the significant difference in Ann's relationship with those two, Ann felt similarly reluctant to share her modeling struggles with them. So many years of rumors and word of mouth about her model status put pressure on her to uphold that status. When she couldn't do so, she felt like a failure. "It's funny. A year ago, I had it all worked out. I was going to keep modeling, take over the world, and retire early to my own private island."
"We all have unrealistic dreams of some kind."
"Yeah… I think I just hung on to them for a bit too long." Ann thought back to her parents, seeking a way to make the problem not her fault. "Do you think it's my parents' fault? I mean, they're not around for those reality check moments. They didn't tell me Santa wasn't real until two years ago." Maruki raised an eyebrow which sent embarrassment coursing through Ann's veins. "Er, I found out online before that."
"No, it's no one's fault. It's just who you are. Some of us dream big, others want their lives to be more lowkey. It's human nature to differ from others and that can't be attributed to our parents."
Not challenging Maruki's explanation, Ann turned her aim inward. "Then is it my fault?"
"For what? Dreaming too big, or for not accomplishing those dreams?"
"Both."
"No. How could it be your fault? You should be commended for out-dreaming the achievable as it gave you something to constantly work for. As for not accomplishing those dreams, you're… seventeen?"
"Sixteen," Ann corrected with a nod of her head. "One month left."
"Yes. Sixteen. You could spend the next ten years brainstorming what to do with your life and still be young. So long as you still have those dreams, they're achievable, Takamaki-san."
"But I…" Ann reconfigured her words with more confidence than she started with. She hadn't spoken such thoughts aloud yet, and she knew doing so would be demanding. "What if I don't want to be a model anymore? I might not even have what it takes anymore."
"That may just be what you think. I would give it some time. Keep trying, don't give up unless you're sure there's a happier way for you to live, and let your friends help you. They know you in ways that I don't and can provide so much more than I can."
Ann had done a test run of such a thing. Haru offered to reach out to her father for contacts in the modeling industry, but Ann protested anything close to Haru going out of her way like that. She still promised to help Ann in whatever way she could, though. Ryuji also helped Ann, telling off Mika at ModCon. Ann greatly appreciated the gesture, she just didn't know how Ryuji's vulgarity would take her with modeling agencies.
Ryuji could stand up for her all he wanted, but could he get her contracts for shoots? If anything, the mental image of Ryuji trying to charm modeling agencies made Ann laugh more than it gave her strength, though that was the best part of Ryuji. He was always there, always trying to pick others up. Even if he couldn't do much to help her career, Ann knew he would have her back every step of the way.
"I'll do that. Thank you for your confidence, Maruki-san."
"Of course. I wouldn't be much of a counselor if I couldn't talk people through these things, could I?"
"I suppose you couldn't. It'd be like a comedian who couldn't make someone laugh."
Maruki hesitated to agree, one eyebrow raising as he considered the analogy. "Well, comedy is subjective. Happiness is objective, as I know what defines someone's happiness."
"Sorry. Guess I haven't paid enough attention in class."
"Analogies aren't for everyone."
"True." Ann stood up, walking towards the door. "Thank you for your time, this helped a lot!"
"No problem, Takamaki-san. So long as you're happy, I've done my job."
With those words wishing her well, Ann walked out the door. She left in a much better mood than she had entered with, even with what the evening had in store: GRAVY Saturdays were in full effect and Ren's house was the destination yet again. Ann hurried through the halls so she could go home, meet up with Haru, and pack her overnight bag.
Hell itself set upon Ren's apartment as he stood in the kitchen. Makoto chopped vegetables for her recipe of the week as the pair let the chaos on the other side of the room thrive. Yusuke, Haru, Ryuji, Ann, Futaba, and Morgana were caught up in an intense karaoke battle between the two sides. Ren didn't pay attention to the details because he valued his sanity, but he did glean that one team consisted of Yusuke, Futaba, and Morgana while the second team was made up of the rest.
No matter how strange the song was or how violent Yusuke's raps were, Ren did not pay attention. He spent his time helping Makoto prepare her version of a stir fry. "I talked to Akechi the other day," Ren said, focusing on dicing his own set of vegetables. Junpei owned just one cutting board, so Ren's vegetables were cut upon several layers of paper towels. "He was… not too cooperative, but I still got some info out of him."
Ren heard Makoto's knife slam into the cutting board. She pulled it out with a slicing noise that traveled just as loudly. "And?" Makoto said.
"He confirmed that it was the real version of him talking to me in the last hallucination, which means that all the shit about a god is true. We're fucked, some way or another."
"Did he tell you what to do?"
"He did…" Ren paused, remembering Akechi's hopefully empty threats. "He ordered me to do nothing, or else he'll turn the Takata investigation towards me."
"What?!" Makoto and Ren were lucky the karaoke battle raged so intensely, or else everyone would give their attention to the kitchen. Ren heard the knife drop to the wooden cutting board.
"He says he needs me, but he's not sure what for. Apparently, he has similar visions to me. Not sure how, but that doesn't matter because there's no chance he'll tell me. Those visions are telling him that I'm important, the final piece of some plot for him to take down the god. He's keeping me around and out of the way until then." Ren looked up from his vegetables to find Makoto's red eyes bearing down on him, her vegetables waiting atop the cutting board. "I guess I don't have anything to worry about until then."
Immediately, Ren could tell that Makoto was going to spit his words back in his face with venom. A Niijima Death Stare soured even more. "Nothing to worry about? Ren, he's blackmailing you."
"I get that, but what am I gonna do?" Ren glanced over to the living area. Futaba held Morgana in the air as the cat screamed into an invisible microphone that Yusuke grasped. Back in Makoto's direction, her eyes pleaded for him to stay grounded in the moment. "I'm still on probation. I can't afford attention like that and Akechi knows it. Sure, he needs me for something, but no one knows what that is."
"We can't sit back and do nothing, especially let him get away with blackmail. I refuse."
"But-"
"No buts. It's easy to keep it out of mind, but we'll intervene in a way that doesn't risk your future. We'll observe from afar as much as we can, then we'll take the first opportunity that presents itself."
Ren was surprised. He knew Makoto would hate Akechi for the blackmail and threats, but he didn't think she would be this proactive in formulating a plan. "I like the way you think." Ren cut more of his vegetables, the action sending Makoto back to resume her work. "I also mentioned Maruki. He sees no reason to help with that—he called Maruki 'harmless'."
Makoto scoffed out a laugh. "He's anything but."
"I know. That's where the conversation ended. I got pissed over that, Akechi left after getting what he wanted. I hate him, I really do."
"It's frustrating, but it's all we have to work with. We'll bide our time, Ren. We have enough information to keep up."
Somehow, I doubt that's true. I'm getting dragged through the mud by Akechi's coattails.
"Yeah, I guess." Ren sliced up the last of the vegetables and then turned to check Makoto's progress. "Done with your share?"
"Yep. Could you add these together?" She shifted the cutting board towards Ren and left the counter for the fridge. "I need to start on the noodles." After opening the fridge, she turned back to Ren. "Oh, and could you get Yusuke for me? He said he was good at simmering meat, so I've got a job for him."
"Got it."
"You guys saw Shujinstagram today, right?" The group turned to Ryuji, who talked with his mouth full of food. He wiped his cheeks clean of the grease he left behind before he continued to speak, obviously feeling the judgmental eyes on him. "It's effed up that they can just do that to us."
Futaba reminded everyone that not all of them went to Shujin or were active on Shujinstagram. "Do what?"
Ann turned to her right, looking slightly down at Futaba. The two sat on pillows at the coffee table. Futaba extended the entirety of her legs under the table—blocking the others from doing the same in the process—while Ann crisscrossed her legs atop the pillow. "The newspaper club put out a pretty negative article on Ren and Makoto today."
Futaba shrugged, not seeing the big deal. "Cool. Want me to delete it?"
Ren perked up at a chance to do things the easy way. "Yes, ple-"
"No, leave it," Makoto said, getting confusion from all of her friends. Ren, Makoto, and Yusuke took the couch, forcing themselves to curve their spines into a hunch just to eat over the table. "That's a can of worms just waiting to be open. If I have articles deleted that are critical of my competence as student council president, what kind of leader am I?"
Ryuji pointed his fork at Makoto as he gave his opinion. "A normal one, especially if those articles ain't true. That's gonna be out there forever unless she deletes it." Haru and Ryuji were in similar situations. Each of the two took the single chairs that Junpei kept in the apartment. Their backs were hunched, though not nearly as much as their friends on the couch.
In the middle of all of it, Morgana sat in between the legs and pillows to jump up for any and all scraps. Anything dropped that didn't land on a plate was fair game for the cat.
"No. I won't allow you to delete it, no matter what it says about me or Ren."
Ren felt eyes turn to him. For whatever reason, the group expected him to be the one to counter his girlfriend.
Sure, the article pisses me off, but I'll be over it in a week. So will Shujin's rumor mill; they move quickly without critically thinking about things like this.
But the article nagged at Ren, no matter what he tried to think about it or to keep it off his mind. Eiko ran her mouth, lying for the sake of lying, while Eiji couldn't help but be a jealous, self-contradicting, sexist dickwad with no clear redeeming qualities. Ren needed revenge. However, he drew the line for the latter offender against him. Eiji needed time alone to think, maybe a stern conversation from a father figure, not to be humiliated. Eiko, on the other hand, needed a humbling.
Sweet revenge would come in the form of Ren's Plan B.
"Okay, we don't need them to delete the article. What if they apologized for it instead?" The attention the group already paid to Ren grew stronger. "It would be way more embarrassing for them to say that they lied, reigns in all the hate from the last article, and ends Eiko's relationship with Tsu-Tsu."
"Tsu-Tsu?" Futaba's question for clarity went unanswered as the group ignored it.
"Yeah, alright." Ryuji sighed, not convinced. "That makes sense, but how the eff do we do that? The newspaper club's never been anything less than stubborn."
"If the pretentiousness I saw in the article carries over into their morals, they'll have to apologize. All we need is to crack Eiko. I have a perfect idea."
"Eiko has been spamming my phone with obscenities for the past few days," Makoto said. "We can't count on her for help."
"No, we certainly can't. However, we can count on three things." Ren held up one finger. "One: Eiko is dumb." Along with nods of agreement and a few laughs, Ren's second finger raised. "Two: she works on Saturdays." The final finger came up as anticipation heightened for Ren's master plan. He nearly stopped to laugh because he knew that the group wouldn't get it. "Three: Tsukasa is one sleazy motherfucker."
Dumbstruck faces stared Ren down, not-so-subtly telling him that he didn't make sense. "How do any of those tie together?" Ann asked.
Ren smiled, ready to blow everyone's mind with his unparalleled genius.
"They tie together because I'm going to send Tsukasa photos of my ass."
"Ryuji! Hold your arm still!" Futaba barked orders at everything with a pulse, including Morgana. "Stop meowing, kitty! You're distracting Yusuke, who needs to hold the lamp steady, or else I'll put broken glass in his sleeping bag!"
Ren's master plan was a sight to behold. Sitting on the couch, Ryuji flexed his arms so that the crease between his forearm and bicep lengthened, looking awfully similar to an ass crack with the right angle. To get said angle, one needed exact precision. Ren held Futaba's legs up above his head while Makoto clutched Futaba around her torso, the short girl pointed downward to get the photo. Muscles burned from holding her for far longer than necessary, but GRAVY's lack of efficiency when it came to taking fake nudes was on full display.
On the other side of the couch, Yusuke held the lamp that usually sat in the corner of the apartment directly over Ryuji's elbow, though not low enough to create a shadow. His artistic ideas kept him from holding the lamp at the perfect angle for Futaba, as he wanted to improve the lighting in his own way despite threats of broken glass.
Haru's voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. "I have the razor!"
"Razor?!" Ryuji flinched as his body flipped sideways to see, but Ann's arms around him stopped him from completing the turn. "I'm not shaving my effin' arms!"
"Shhh, Ryuji…" Ann hugged him closely, rubbing his head to calm him. "There, there."
Ryuji was a simple man. The slight touch of his girlfriend did wonders. "Well, uh, maybe I can consider it…"
Makoto looked back at Ren, rolling her eyes with her face getting red. Not from the daily acts of flustering that Ren put her through, but the exertion of holding Futaba. The girl was far heavier than she looked.
Ren felt the same pain. "Let's get it going, Haru!" he yelled to his friend. At the same time, Haru emerged from the bathroom with her a fresh shaving razor and her cupped handful of shaving cream.
"You better prepare them elbows!" Futaba yelled, pushing the phone closer to the fake ass-crack. "Nobody likes a hairy ass!"
Well, I'm sure someone's into it. There's a fetish for everything, so it's impossible for nobody to like a hairy ass... what the fuck am I thinking about? Better yet, think about what you're doing, Ren. You're holding your absurdly undersized friend with your girlfriend to fake photos of your ass and pretend to be one of Tsukasa's side chicks. You peaked long ago because this is a new low point for you.
"Futaba, you don't need to…" Ann gave up halfway through the process of telling Futaba to be less blunt. "Actually, nevermind. This is already too weird for me to believe."
"Wait, am I gettin' both arms shaved?!" Ryuji tugged against Ann's grip, panic surging in his eyes as he looked at Haru.
Ann, annoyed, pulled him back towards her. "Shh, relax… it's just one elbow that has to look like an ass." It occurred to Ann that she didn't know if she was telling the truth. She looked up at Futaba, craning her head to get around the phone that was held in between them. "Er, right, Futaba? We're only shaving one elbow?"
"We could do both for fun."
Ryuji jerked, hitting Ann hard in the arm. "Nope!" Unfortunately for him, Haru finished her short journey and Haru did not fuck around when it came to faking nude photos. She dropped the razor onto the couch, slapped Ryuji into submission, then towered over him.
"Give me your elbow."
Ann didn't even need to hold him steady anymore. Instead, she could rub her sore elbow muscle where a bruise would be forming in the near future. "Yes, ma'am!" Ryuji said as he pointed the elbow up towards Haru.
Without hesitating, as if she'd done it a hundred times before, Haru slapped Ryuji's elbow with shaving cream. Bits of excess shaving cream shot in every direction, getting on the clothes of everyone involved and the couch itself.
Either I spend an afternoon scrubbing the stains out of the carpet and the couch, or Junpei probably never notices them. Tough decision.
Haru picked up the razor from the ground, brandishing it like a divine weapon. "My goodness…" Yusuke redirected the lamp to see the razor better. "The way the light races down the blades… the command it holds over Ryuji… it is truly the Excalibur of shaving equipment!"
"Get that lamp over the crack or else your browser history is mine, Inari!"
I'll have to see that. I wonder what secrets lie in those sacred depths.
If one person could scare Yusuke, it would be Futaba. Much to Ren's surprise, the artist stood his ground. "I have nothing to hide. Take from me what you will!"
"Okay, whatever, just shine the light on the crack! My legs are starting to hurt!"
"Your legs?" Makoto's strength waivered, dipping Futaba just slightly lower than she had been. "What about our arms?"
"When?"
"When wh-"
"When did I ask?!" Futaba laughed at her own joke then resumed barking orders as easily as she'd been distracted. "Haru, start shaving already!"
"Hold still Ryuji-kun. I'll be as careful as I can." Haru began sliding the shaving razor in a vertical stroke across Ryuji's bicep and elbow, slowly dragging it over the cream-covered skin.
Futaba wasn't satisfied. "Ergh, go faster!"
"I don't want to hurt Ryu-"
"I'll be fine. Feels kinda nice, actually." Ryuji had a genuine smile on his face, clearly relishing in the smooth sensation of his arm hair being removed.
Ann patted his shoulder. "See? What'd I tell you?"
Haru nodded and quickened the motion. She lost her gracefulness but gained vigor, going down Ryuji's elbow before lifting it up and moving the razor left to cover a new unshaven area. "Almost done…" The two final strokes came in no time, leaving Ryuji's elbow mostly bare except for the few strips of shaving cream that remained. Haru wiped them off with a rag and then proclaimed victory. "That's it. Good job, Ryuji-kun."
"Thank y-"
"Alrighty, Haru, time for you to move!" Futaba said as Ren and Makoto moved her closer. Yusuke knew the appropriate moment to get the best lighting and held the lamp steady just as Futaba steadied the phone directly over Ryuji's elbow. "Right there… aaaaaaaand…" The group heard the click of Futaba's phone snapping pictures but still waited for her declaration to celebrate success. "Ladies and gentlemen, we g-" Ren and Makoto dropped Futaba mid-sentence to high-five and to rest their throbbing arms. "Ow!"
"Thank you for your help guys. You especially, Ryuji. Not everyone would shave an arm for their friends," Ren said, picking up Futaba's phone from the ground. He sent the photos to himself, then leaned over his crumpled friend on the ground. Ren extended a hand and pulled her up, giving her the phone in the process. "Thank you for directing, too."
"Pfft. That was small-time shit."
"I'm sure." The group stood motionless as they stood before the blank canvas of the rest of their Saturday night. "So… uh… what do we do now?"
"What do you mean?" Ryuji wiped the last specks of shaving cream from his delicately smooth arm and laid back on the couch, putting his hands behind his head. "Now we enjoy the rest of the night."
Oh yeah. I got so caught up in pulling this off that I forgot we're supposed to be hanging out. Huh. Time flies when you're faking ass pics, I guess.
Sunday, 10/2
Makoto's Saturday started with an incredible surprise: Ren's plan worked. Not that Makoto hadn't had faith—she went along with the plan, after all—but she couldn't believe the kind of people that Eiko and Tsukasa were. Over and over again, they proved themselves as the lowest of the low, the people that all government services were required to be idiot-proof for.
More than a few texts from Eiko told Makoto enough.
Eiko Takao:
-Can we meet for lunch
Makoto reread the text message to herself as she walked towards Big Bang Burger. I'm surprised she didn't fill it with emojis and acronyms. Ren actually got her to be serious, she thought to herself as she looked through the rest of the messages, making sure she hadn't missed something from that morning. She had been groggy from not getting much sleep from sharing a room with GRAVY, so the chance of her misreading a text stood tall.
Makoto Niijima:
-That depends. Will you behave yourself calmly and treat me with respect?
Eiko Takao:
-Yep, anything u want, can we just meet now? Please?
Makoto Niijima:
-Very well. May I invite Kuramoto-san as well?
Instead of directly responding, Eiko had liked Makoto's final message earlier to signal her approval. Makoto put her phone away and looked through the window of Big Bang Burger. Crowded, as usual, the line extended to barely within the door. Yuriko stood on the other side, looking around for her friend.
"Yuriko!" Makoto got her friend's attention and quickly approached. "Sorry if I kept you waiting." Forced to make the trip back to her apartment before leaving for lunch, Makoto took the extra time to shower and get a new outfit together. Going back and forth between her apartment and Ren's so much seemed more tedious the more she spent time over there.
Yuriko held up a hand with a smile, telling Makoto not to apologize. "Oh, don't worry about it. Eiko's inside sitting in one of the booths. She skipped getting food, looks like." Makoto invited Yuriko as moral support. If Eiko slipped into the disrespect she'd been sending Makoto the past few days through text messages, Yuriko could fight fire with fire in a way that Makoto could not. To put it simply, Yuriko was there to play judgmental and sarcastic cop while Makoto kept it simple as good cop.
"That makes it easy." Makoto opened the door, beckoning Yuriko inside. They entered together and walked through the crowded store. They stepped around people carrying their trash to the waste bin and walked over legs that extended into the walkway from customers lacking self-awareness.
Finally, they reached the corner of the restaurant. Eiko occupied a booth up against the window, taking the seat with the window behind her and leaving her lunch dates to take the other side of the booth. "Hello, Eiko," Makoto said. Eiko looked up from her phone without the usual ignorant joy or vapid, spontaneous emotion on her face. Only sadness, the same kind that everyone else felt. As much as the hole she was in was her own fault, Eiko was human, too.
"Thanks for coming, guys." Makoto slid into the booth first, Yuriko following a second later.
I hope Yuriko keeps her mouth shut. She really only needs to be here if things get nasty, which won't happen, hopefully, Makoto thought. At least Eiko seems more reserved today. I don't think she'll be giving Yuriko much to make fun of.
"I'm assuming you're here to apologize for the Shujinstagram article." Knowing the extent of Ren's plan, Makoto knew that wasn't true. She just wanted to give Eiko the chance to do so.
"Er… not exactly." Alas, Eiko was too trapped in her sadness to realize the damage to the article. Makoto watched the girl's confidence waver in strength, going back and forth between readiness and apprehensiveness to spill the beans to Makoto. Even though Makoto knew what the girl was going to say, she waited on the edge of her seat to hear the words. "I'm here because of Tsukasa. I don't think I can trust him."
"Oh no," Yuriko said, doing a decent job of feigning empathy. Makoto filled Yuriko in on Ren's plan in their prior text exchange, so she also knew exactly what Eiko had to say. "Why's that?
"He… he…" Eiko sniveled. She got a tissue out of her fashionably expensive purse—probably purchased by Tsukasa—and blew her nose into it. Makoto and Yuriko shared a disgusted glance but remained in the booth. "He doesn't love me!" Eiko cried after one particularly forceful blow.
Eiko blowing her nose eroded any of Yuriko's attempts to fake sympathy. With a complete lack of emotion or enthusiasm, Yuriko prodded Eiko for more information. "No way, tell me more."
"Well, it happened before work last night."
Saturday, 10/1
Eiko leaned against the cold wall of a Shinjuku alley. Down the street, the blaring neon sign of The 953 lit up the sidewalk and its pedestrians. Eiko's shift began soon, she just wanted to see her beloved before another night of work. This was typical—they met before every shift for a kiss of good luck along with a reminder to fill her quota or else there would be consequences. Eiko didn't understand what those consequences could be except for Tsukasa's love for her ending, which was unacceptable. Every shift at The 953, she gave it her all to make Tsukasa proud and make money for both of them.
A voice from around the corner of the alley pulled Eiko's attention from her phone. "Hey, babe." Tsukasa walked around the corner, his usual suit looking clean among Shinjuku's filth. "Miss me?"
"Tsu-Tsu!" Eiko ran towards him, ending the run by jumping into him. Tsukasa was strong enough to resist the force and hold himself steady and hug her tight. "I missed you so much! The girls were saying mean things again today and they sounded like they're gonna quit working."
"Who?"
Eiko didn't realize that Tsukasa wanted a specific context. Luckily, it would pay off for her, in the long run, to not give him the straight answer. "My friends! They were saying that you tried to hit on them during their shifts at The 953, but I know you didn't do that. You're too noble!"
"Heh… that's me."
Eiko pulled him into a kiss. Most of their kisses followed the same pattern: Eiko gave full effort while Tsukasa floundered and tried to pull away. She interpreted it as Tsukasa trying to play it cool for the pretty girl, despite him being older than her.
"Oh, Tsu-Tsu… I wish I didn't have to work tonight. I wish you'd take me to dinner."
"Don't worry about that. Just work tonight's shift, then I'll take you out tomorrow night." Tsukasa finally pulled away, smiling as he looked down at her. His hands on her shoulders felt warm, warm enough to wipe away any anxiety that Shinjuku caused in Eiko. He pulled her into his chest, rubbing her face against his skin and his parted shirt. "Just like we agreed, right, Ren-chan?"
"W-what?"
"Remember? You sent me pictures of that ass of yours and we agreed to dinner at Narisawa tomorrow night."
"I…" Eiko shoved him away. She wasn't stronger than him, only able to create distance between the two because she surprised him. "I can't believe you!"
Tsukasa looked stumped. "What? What'd I do?" Without giving him a second chance, Eiko ran away into Shinjuku's always-welcoming streets.
"I'm very sorry to hear that, Eiko," Makoto said to the bawling girl before her. Overdramatic was an understatement. Amid her story, Eiko pulled seven new tissues from her purse and needed to be prompted to continue her story instead of simply wallowing in the corner of a Big Bang Burger. "But that is who Tsukasa is. He's a manipulator; he wants you to think you're living a great life with him when he's really just using you."
Eiko's nose was much more vocal than her mouth. Makoto and Yuriko cringed at every wave of the tissue, but they couldn't leave then. They had to see Eiko through to becoming a better person and make sure her friends got out of the same situation.
Like a toddler, Eiko spoke through sobs and sniffles. "I know… but he made me feel so loved! And I needed it after Dai tried to use me… I'm an idiot!"
Yuriko coughed. Makoto knew exactly why and shot her friend an unforgiving glare to hold herself back. "And that's okay. All of us make mistakes, and that's how we grow as people. Sure, Tsukasa may have gotten the better of you, but you can start making up for it by learning from it."
"H-how?"
"First and foremost, you need to distance yourself from him. Quit your job, block his number, and make sure your friends quit as well." Makoto wanted to get what she wanted from Eiko, an apology for the article interview, but she wanted the girl to come to that conclusion herself even more.
"Done. I texted him this morning that I'm never going back, then I deleted his number."
"What about your friends?"
"I dunno. They were getting more and more upset about working there, so quitting should be easy for them."
"Good. Now, how else has Tsukasa affected you? Has he altered your relationships with others? Bought you anything you should throw out?"
"Well, he…" Eiko's eyes widened as she dropped the tissue. Yuriko disgustedly watched as it floated down beneath the table. "Oh, Makoto! I'm so sorry for the interview! I didn't mean it! I was soooooo pissed off, I couldn't handle myself."
Hearing the apology was way less satisfying than Makoto thought it would be. Oh well. She would have to settle for getting Eiko's life back on track. "It's alright, and thank you for apologizing. So long as you rectify what you did, it's okay."
"How can I do that?" The crying and snot returned. "Those articles stay up forever!"
"Have them write a new one. They may be hesitant, but news is news. They'll have to publish it. Better yet, use it as an opportunity to tell everyone to the rest of Shujin's students to stay away from Shinjuku. Nothing good comes from there."
"I will…" Eiko wiped the last tear from her eye. Mascara smudges and trails ran down her face, but there was still something admirable to her destroyed look. Despite the tears, snot, and ruined makeup, she became better. "Thank you, Makoto. And you too, Yuriko. I love you guys."
Yuriko reciprocated the words without any of the heart. "And I love you too, Eiko. So, so much."
"Aw, you're the best!" Eiko looked away from the table towards the shortening line for burgers. "Hey, whaddya guys say we get some vegan burgers? They're all the rage right now!" Makoto hated how easy it seemed to distract Eiko from anything of importance.
"Wow, vegan beef. Delicious." Yuriko's sarcasm escaped Eiko, who nodded in agreement with a wide smile on her tear-stained face.
In Makoto's case, she was not a fan of food products of that sort. She didn't care for Big Bang Burger's normal food either, but it was preferable to a fake slab of beans. The difference between Yuriko and Makoto was that Makoto wouldn't be sarcastic about declining and she had a proper excuse.
"Can't. I'm a gardener raging against veganism yearly, remember?"
"Ohhhh, is that what GRAVY stood for?" As always, Yuriko made sure to get a quip in. Her displeasure over getting vegan burgers ran through her flat tone. "I always thought it was Grabbing Revolutionaries And Vegetative Yoga."
Eiko, still in the heartfelt moment but with the hunger for a vegan burger, joined in. She held a hand up to her chest, patting it to emphasize her point. "That's what it stands for in our hearts, Yuriko." She added a sniffle for good measure.
Makoto and Yuriko stopped talking to one another to look at Eiko. Yuriko pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed away her annoyance. "Never change, Eiko. Never change."