" I don't know if i can . "
Paige's face dropped " Why ! " Was all she managed , but tears began to roll down her face .
" Paige my love for you has never been as strong as it is now and Ralph and now Megan fill my heart with so much love and pride it feels as if it is almost at bursting point . But the last ten months have been so hard for me , i have got through each day by concentrating on my work for Richard .
If i let you and my two children back into my life , every minute of every day i will be wondering if i am going to make another stupid , if in my mind innocent mistake and you will just walk out on me again , but this time with Megan as well .
There is no way i can go through another day let alone months of what i have been experiencing since you walked out on me . " All the time he was speaking his eyes were moving between Paige and Megan .
" Walter i have never regretted anything more than that night i left you standing there in the garage , the look on your face as haunted me ever since . I cannot close my eyes at night without seeing you . I do not deserve your forgiveness for the way i treated you that night . In fact i do not want you to forgive me for that , i would want you to remind me everytime i seem to be getting to pushy . I should never have tried to change you , i fell in love with Walter O'Brian i met at Nemo's Diner , so why should i want to change you . I went over the top thinking you needed to change to fit into the world we live in , but i was wrong you should be you and i should be me , it was what attracted us to one another in the first place .
Please Walter can we not talk some more . I do not expect to sort out all our problems out in one afternoon . All i can tell you from the bottom of my heart , i am as much in love with you now as i was when i first told you at Happy and Toby's wedding . Look , it will soon be time for me to feed Megan , please come back to the condo and we can talk some more , no pressure ."
Walter still holding Megan , looked down at Megan and spoke to her .
" Do you think your mom is telling me the truth and she really does want to get back together . " As he finished speaking Megan's face broke out into a wide smile .
" I guess from that you agree . " Walter said still speaking to Megan .
He looked up from Megan and looked straight into Paige's eyes .
" It would appear that our daughter thinks i should carry on talking over the situation . Will Ralph be there ? "
" No Ralph is on a sleepover with Daniel . But i am really pleased you are willing to keep on talking . " Said a now happier Paige .
Walter handed Megan to Paige so she could put her back in the bassenet .
" Will you follow me back to the condo ? "
" That would be the best idea , are you ready ? " Asked Walter .
Walter carried Megan down to Paige's car and watched with interest as she secured the bassenet in the car .
" Were is your car ? " Paige asked curious to see what Walter was driving now .
" It is over there . " He said as he pointed to a metalic blue Range Rover Sport SVR .
" Woa , that is certainly not the type of car i would have thought you would ever go for . " Said a surprised Paige .
" It is not , Richard insisted i had a better car than my old one , so he leased it for me . " Walter explained .
" Did you sell your old one ?"
" No it is in the garage of the house Richard gave me as part of my contract . It is all a very long story and i do not think the car park of the hotel is the best place to have it . Plus you did say it was getting close to Megan's feed , so i think we should go to your condo . " Walter replied , but his voice was now much more like the one Paige carried in her mind .
" You are correct , lets go . But please Walter promise me we can talk about everything when we get to my condo . " Paige asked , her heart beating faster then she could ever remember .
" Until i say something wrong and you get mad at me . " Walter replied his eyes filling with tears .
Paige wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be alright , but she knew that she had not yet earned the right . Instead she said . " Ready to go ? "
Walter just nodded .
Thirty minutes later Paige pulled into her parking space and Walter pulled into a visitors parking spot in front of Paige's condo . Paige got Megan's bassenet out of her car Walter shut the car door , Paige walked up to the front door of her condo , closely followed by Walter who took Megan from Paige so she could open the door .
Once indoors Paige put Megan's bassenet on the floor and told Walter to sit on the sofa .
" Would you like a cup of coffee , before i feed Megan ? "
" No go and see to Megan first she is the most importent person at the moment . " Replied Walter .
" Alright , i am breast feeding so i will go into my bedroom to feed her . Do you promise you will still be here when i come back out . " Asked Paige her anxiety building up .
" I promise , but will i be able to see Megan again once you have fed her ? " Walter replied his voice tinged with saddness .
" Of course you can Walter , i would like you to see her whenever you want . I will be back in about twenty minutes . If you want a drink before i get back , please help yourself . " Paige explained .
Walter looked at her , his heart pounding , how much he had missed her eyes , her smile , and her voice , but most of all her touch. But all he could manage at the moment was a very quiet . " Thank you . "
All the time Paige was in the bedroom , Walter hardly moved a muscle as he sat ridged on the sofa , his eyes never leaving the wall that was in front of him .
Paige was a little longer than the twenty minutes she had said . But Walter was unconcerned because she was looking after his daughter . As he thought of Megan a big smile came across his face , but it vanished just as quick as his thoughts went back to when everyone he cared for , except Cabe , walked out on him . Almost thirty minutes after she had left the room , she returned carrying Megan in her arms .
" Your daughter is now fed and changed . Do you want to hold her again ? " She asked Walter .
With a big smile on his face he replied . " Yes please . "
Paige gently placed Megan into Walter's arms . " Would you like a cup of coffee now ? "
Walter looked up at her . " She is smiling at me again . "
Paige smiled and said . " She knows you are her daddy . "
" How could you possibly know that ? " Walter asked a little confused .
Paige sat on the arm of the sofa . " All those voice messages you sent me and i ignored , i recorded them all on my computer . While i was pregnant i would put my bump close to the computer and play all the messages to the bump every mornings and every night . Once she was born i would play it to her every time i had to feed her or change her and also when i put her in her cot at night , i would play it at least twice . So she has got used to your voice , which is why she always smiles when she hears your voice . "
Walter looked down at Megan . " So you do know i am your daddy and might i say a very proud daddy . "
Megan's face again broke out in a big smile , matched by the one on Walter's face .
" How about that coffee now ? " Asked Paige
" Yes Please . " Said Walter .
All the time she was making the coffee , she could hear Walter chatting away to Megan , it seemed he wanted her to know all about him .
Walter knew it did not mean anything to Megan , but he did know when he talked to her he could watch her smile , a smile that was so close to the one Paige would do .
Paige came over with two cups of coffee , she put one cup in front of Walter on the coffee table . The other one she kept in her hand .
" Do you think we could talk a little bit more about us ? I do not want to push you or rush you into making any promises to me . But please let me just say again i fully regret what i did to you and i want to try and put things right between us . I do not expect to do it quickly but i would like to carry on seeing you , even if at the start it is only to bring Ralph and Megan to see you and collect them later . "
" Paige i have already said my love for you as never changed , but it is me that is the problem . I am afraid i am going to do something stupid again , and you would just walk out on me again . I know i am probably being stupid , but you know me better than anyone else so you must realize why i think like that . " Walter tried not to sound sad but Paige could pick his saddness up in his voice .
" Why don't you talk more to Megan about what you really want . You appear very comfortable when you speak to her , you never stutter or seem shy no matter what you say . I can listen and then maybe we could begin a conversation , both knowing how you feel . I will be completly honest with you i need you in my life , i have never been so miserable at any other time of my life , even when i was living in my car with Ralph . I have never felt as miserable as i have since i was stupid enough to walk out on you . " Paige said with tears streaming down her face .
Walter looked at Paige , his own face full of sadness . " Please do not cry , i hate to see you cry . I feel i should be cradeling you and not Megan at the moment . But i know i do not have the right to touch you until we have sorted out the problems that caused you to walk out on me ."
His words seemed to have the opposite effect to what he expected . Paige now began to sob so hard she began to have a problem breathing , she managed to put her coffee cup down on the table before she collapsed in a chair .
" Paige please stop , i cannot help you i have Megan in my arms and no were to put her . "
Paige looked up at him and could see the concern and fear in his face . She managed to stop the heavy sobbing and began breath more steadly . After a few more minutes the crying stopped but her face was full of sadness .
" I am sorry Walter , i know what you say is true but everytime i am reminded of what i did that night , it cuts into my heart , because i know within a few hours i had thrown away the best thing that i ever had in my life . So i am determined to do all that i can to get you to give me your forgivness .
" I do need to say something , but you were correct i can tell Megan things . I feel at the moment i can share with you direct , but there is so many things i would like you to know , mainly so i can get things off my chest before we begin trying to mend our romance . " Walter replied as he gave a half smile .
" I am prepared to listen to anything you have to say , no matter how hurtfull it may be to me . If i cry that is up to me not your fault ." Replied a very withdrawn Paige .
" I suggest we drink our coffee and then maybe wait until Megan as fallen asleep . " Walter told her in the calm voice that sent shivers down her spine . Paige reached over and picked her cup of coffee up and passed Walter his cup .
Neither spoke as they drank their coffee . Once they had finished their coffee , Paige looked at Walter who had a big smile on his face as he was looking down on Megan . She had something she needed to ask Walter , before they even began to try and repair the damage caused by her mad thirty minutes .
" Walter could i ask you were you are living now ? " Asked Paige , her voice a little shakey as she was feeling so nervous as he may not be prepared to let her know as he still needed his privacy .
Walter looked up from Megan and turned to Paige , as he did the smile disappeared from his face and was replaced by a face full of sadness .
" I do not live anywhere , i just exist in a house . When Richard asked me to go to work for him , he offered me a place to live as part of my contract . What i did not expect from him was he gave me the keys plus he signed the complete house including all the contents over to me .
He had purchased the house four years ago when the bank foreclosed on it , the couple who had owned it were both killed in an automobile accident . With no living relatives to pay the debt the bank took action .
To quote Richard " He picked it up cheap . " It is in the Malibu area , he bought it without even looking at it , but when he found out how far it was from the beach , one and a half miles , he just locked it up and basically left and forget it . "
Paige sat there her mouth dropped open . " Richard gave you a house in Malibu . You have to tell me more PLEASE . "
Walter gave a little sigh , looked back at Megan . " Your mom can be very persistent . Ok, it is a four bedroom five and a half bathrooms , lounge ,dining room , kitchen and a large conservatory . I use the kitchen and a bedroom with the en-suite . All the rest of the rooms are full of furniture and pictures and lots of bits and pieces . Most of the furniture are covered in dust sheets . There is also a large swimming pool in the back garden and a triple garage .
I only live there because once all of you walked out on me ,i could not afford to repay the $250,000 loan i owed for Cabe's bail , which i gave to Toby and Happy when it was returned . The bank foreclosed on the garage . Once i left i spent a few weeks in a cheap hotel , until Richard offered me a job and a house . "
Tears were begining to roll down Paige's cheeks again . " I am so sorry Walter , i know i keep saying it but at the moment that is all i can say . "
Walter had gone back to watching Megan who was still smiling at him . " You know my darling little girl , today as turned out a lot better than i thought . Maybe tonight i will be able to sleep , because when i close my eyes i will be able to see your face instead of your mom's . "
Listening to Walter speaking to Megan again , felt like an arrow entering her heart and the tears began to flow faster down hercheeks .
Her voice shakey because she could not stop crying . " Walter please look at me . "
Walter looked up from Megan and again saw the tears streaming down her face .
Paige please stop crying , you know i do not like to see you cry . "
" I know but i feel so sad that you are all alone in such a large house and you confine yourself to living in only two rooms . I can see how much i have hurt you and i promise i am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you . " Paige managed to say despite the tears still streaming down her cheeks .
Walter again looked down at Megan and began talking to her , the smile back on his face .
" You know Megan , the house i live in deserves to have a family living in it . Do you think you and your big brother would like to live in it , but first your mom and me need to talk and work very hard to sort our problems out so we can make your wish come true . "
Megan's smile seemed to get even bigger . Walter carried on holding Megan and Paige excused herself to go to the bathroom and tidy herself up . When she returned , Megan had fallen into a contented sleep in Walter's arm .
" Paige , Megan is asleep , do you want to put her in her cot . " Walter asked .
" Well why don't you come with me to put Megan to bed . " Paige asked Walter in a sweet voice .
A big smile broke out on his face . " I would love to . "
Paige walked over to him and gently removed Megan from his arms . Walter got off the sofa and Paige handed Megan back to him . By now Walter was more comfortable with Megan , so he took her in his arms and followed Paige , who led him into her bedroom , were Megan's cot was . As he walked in the bedroom , he felt his chest tightening as memories of what had gone on in this room , came flooding back to him, so much so he handed Megan quickly back to Paige and ran out of the room .
Paige quickly put Megan in her cot and made sure she was safe , before quickly going after Walter . Once in the living room she was happy to see Walter had not fled out of the front door , but at the same time a little sad , to see him sitting on the sofa with tears streaming down his cheeks .
Paige took in a deep breath and walked over to him and knelt down in front of him , she then took both his hands in hers .
" Walter was it to much to see inside our old bedroom, your memories overpowered you . "
At first all Walter could manage was a nod of the head . Paige squeezed his hands and he began to respond by returning the squeeze . After a moment Walter raised his head so he could look Paige in the eyes .
" You are correct , memories did begin to come flashing back , with much more detail than even my own mind could normally recall . Not so much the sex and lovemaking we did , although it was something i always thought of as magnificent . It was the small details that made my feelings for you even stronger .
I remembered what it was to wake up and feel the weight of your head on my chest and the cuddles we gave each other . I can even remember the warmth i felt from you even if you were just lying there beside me . Most of all it bought back the memory of the quiet purring you used to make when you slept . "
Paige had again got tears running down her cheeks . She released one of Walter's hands so she could wipe her tears from her cheeks . " I know what you mean , because until Megan was born i could not sleep in the bed , i either slept on the sofa or the recliner . It was only when Megan was born i had to force myself to sleep in the bed again , so i could have Megan's cot close to me . I also have another confession to make , ever since we broke up i have slept in one of your blue shirts you had left here ,up to a few weeks ago i would spray them with the aftershave you also left behind until it finally was all gone . " Paige explained all the time stareing into Walter's eye's . Oh how much she had missed , those deep brown eyes , although the sparkle that used to be there was still missing .
Walter gave a small smile at her , released her hand and gently stroked her cheek , the first attempt he had made to physically touch her . Paige responded by moving her hand and putting it on top of Walter's hand that was on her cheek .
Walter was first to speak . " It would seem we both have suffered because of a white lie and confusing advice given . I still cannot get over how i felt as everyone , but in paticular you walked out on me . I know i have said before i could never go through that again . However the longer i have spent with you , i am begining to feel i still need you in my life . But i think we will need to take very small steps to get back to to anything like we were twelve months ago . I know a lot of the fault was on my side , mainly because i put Scorpion before anything or anybody else , but now i am working for Richard , i still put my work first during work hours , but once i leave work , i leave it behind . To be honest once i get home most of my thoughts are about what we used to be each other .
Up until the last hour it was nothing but a pipe dream that i would ever see you again , let alone maybe have a chance to reconnect with you . "
Paige's face had lit up with a big smile . " Does that mean that you can consider trying to make thinks work between us ? " She asked as she removed Walter's hand from her cheek and gently kissed his palm . The feeling of his skin on her lips sent shivers down her spine .
Walter as he felt her lips on his palm , felt some of the old warmth they used to have began to invade his body . " Yes i certainly am ready now , but i still want to take things slowly , so i do not make any silly mistakes . "
" I can certainly live with that , if you want i would be willing to go to couples councilling if you would like to . " Paige said a big smile on her face .
Walter did not speak for a minute , he just looked thoughtful . " I could agree with that as long as the councillor does not have the name Toby Curtis .
" I can certainly agree with that , i want it to help not hinder our relationship . Would you like to stay for something to eat and maybe talk a little more ? " Paige asked just hoping he would say yes .
"That would be very enjoyable , i am sure . But lets phone in for some food , my treat , so you don't have to cook . " Replied Walter .
" Thank you Walter , we could maybe pretend this is like our first date . What kind of food would you like , then i can phone an order through ? "
Well if you want to treat this meal as a sort of first date , i will let you decide . " Replied Walter .
" Chinese then , do you want to choose what you want to eat ? " Paige asked .
" Surprise me , that is if you can remember what i would normally eat at the Chinese meals . " Walter replied with a smile on his face .
" Of course i do , i think i remember everything about you . " A smiling Paige replied .
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Grykon Thank you , hope you enjoyed this chapter .
T J Martin Ralph knew it was Walter's baby , it was after he had been told the news that he went to stay with Drew for 4 months . Has he taken to Megan , wait and see .
LouBe 96 Not completly as you see in this chapter ,still a little wary .Richard sent him to the hotel to see a client about a computer upgrade ,as arranged with Paige
Guest 197 Thank you . Not to long , he never could resist the Paige smile for long .
Pearlie girl I am an avid reader and that first chapter needs to gain my attention or i do not carry on reading , so i tend to try and write the same way . Glad you enjoyed rumble in the jungle , that was my first attempt to write a multi-chapter creative writing story .
Guest Thank you .
Skunkeefunk Thank you , a few more surprises , at least i hope they will be .