VIII. Until We Meet Again

Summary: Isabella catches Edward in her room and reacts accordingly. [Part III]

The idea of never seeing Isabella again was...painful.

But it was also necessary and completely out of my hands.

By nightfall, Esme had already purchased a new property in Ithaca, and Carlisle had submitted an application to the Cayuga Medical Center. We would be making our departure within the next two days.

I don't understand.

I withheld a sigh and continued to neatly stack my collection of music CDs in a box. They, alongside my books and journals, were the only valued items I currently possessed. Everything else was more easily replaceable.

"I know," I said.

Alice grumbled from where she was perched on the armrest of my couch, watching me pack.

Unlike the rest of our family, Alice did not have the slightest clue as to why my actions against Isabella had been so appalling.

While she understood, on the abstract level of someone who had never experienced it before, the immorality of sexual assault, Alice was less familiar with the idea of privacy. Especially in a family like our own, where the idea was hypothetical at best and nonexistent at worst.

Like myself, Alice rarely afforded anyone the level of privacy which most humans sought and guarded. It was the type of consequence that resulted from possessing gifts like ours. And for Alice, who had no memory of being human, the concept was all the more foreign.

Once again, she ran through every one of Rosalie's scathing tirades.

Learning that we would have to leave Forks had rekindled Rosalie's wrath. It was only Carlisle's interference which had momentarily paused her cutting reprimands. Although I could not say the same for her thoughts. Even now, her mind was clamorous as she mentally slandered my name.

Alice huffed a sound of frustration.

Despite her attempts to comprehend Rose's resentment towards me, she was unable to grasp the true offense caused by my actions.

I sighed.

It was in trying to figure out how to adequately explain how depraved my behavior had been, that I felt I truly reached an honest level of remorse.

Before, I had been more focused on myself, comparing myself to the monsters I had once freely murdered; feeling ashamed of how I had hurt Rosalie and Esme through my deplorable behavior.

But the more I thought about what I had done, the more I realized how deeply I must have hurt Isabella as well.

I saw the reflection of my regret through Alice's eyes, and she thought, Even though I don't really understand, she'll forgive you one day. And hopefully, you'll forgive yourself as well.

I froze. "…One day?"

Alice nodded emphatically.

My visions have not changed at all. They've just been postponed.

As though to prove this, Alice looked to the future. She was right.

You will see her again, Edward. It'll just be a couple of years. For us, that's hardly notable.

I knew she was only attempting to soothe me. And to my displeasure, it worked.

The despair which weighed so heavily on my shoulders had eased.

Alice smiled. Everything will work out, Edward. Don't bet against me just yet.

The corner of my mouth lifted into a barely-there smile. "I won't," I promised.

The next day, we attended Forks High one final time.

While it was unnecessary for my siblings to do so, they did it with the intent of keeping me from standing out. Unlike them, I had one last purpose in attending.

I still needed to apologize to Isabella.

Sitting beside her in our one shared class was excruciating, but I did not attempt to break past her stony silence. It was vexing continuing to allow her to believe that I held not an ounce of remorse, but attempting to express this to her in between Mr. Banner's lessons or during the allotment between periods, would simply not allow enough time to convey my regret.

But when the end of the school day had been reached, I realized how much preferable the painful silence between us had been. Because alongside my apology, would also come an indefinite goodbye.

"Isabella," I said, calling her name before she could reach her truck.

Her spine grew rigid, and she hesitated in her next step, as though deliberating whether to acknowledge me or not.

"May I say something?" I continued, as soon as I stood at her back. "It will only take a moment."

After a long, agonizing pause, she slowly turned to face me, eyes guarded and lips pressed into a flat line.

I took a deep breath and ignored the white-hot fire piercing the back of my throat, the tightening of my muscles, the venom pooling on my tongue, the violent images flashing across my mind.

"I'm sorry," I said, the words already feeling inadequate even as they passed my lips. "What I did was inexcusable and I don't expect you to forgive me. But I want you to know that I deeply regret my actions. I should have never broken into your room. And I should definitely have never watched you at your most vulnerable without your express permission. For that, you have my sincerest apologies."

The hard lines of her face had softened slightly. And though I knew I should have crushed the swell of hope that rose inside of me, I was too weak to do so.

"Thank you for apologizing," she finally said.

There was a burst of relief in my chest.

It wasn't forgiveness (not that I had expected it), but it was acknowledgement from her all the same.

"I also came to say goodbye."

That pulled a more visible reaction from her. Her eyes widened and her lips parted with shock.

"You're leaving?"

It was difficult to put a name to the emotions coloring her voice. Bewilderment, certainly. And confusion. It was the hint of guilt I found most puzzling.

I shook away my curiosity. I no longer had any right to ask questions.

"Yes. Today is my last day."

For a moment, she appeared to struggle with how to respond.

"Where are you going?"

"California."

For some reason, my answer seemed to appease her. The quirk of her lips betrayed amusement, though I could hardly imagine why.

"There's an advocacy center there," I blurted out, a little suddenly. Not to earn her forgiveness, I thought. But perhaps, to impress upon her my honest regret. "They provide services for victims of domestic and sexual violence. Esme is planning to volunteer there, and has requested I join her. I agreed."

After much discussion between Carlisle, Esme, and myself, they had decided that this would be a befitting punishment. And though Esme rarely attempted to work so closely with humans, she wished to support me in this.

Isabella smiled. It was a small and tentative thing. "I'm glad."

I had not said it to seek her approval, but my conscience eased at her words all the same.

She turned back to her truck, but not before saying, "Goodbye, Edward."

Knowing that I would one day see her again did not make the pain of watching her walk away any less harrowing.

Although she was now too far away to hear my words, I still said, "Goodbye, Isabella. Until we meet again."

A/N: I wasn't originally planning to add another part to this, until I realized how incomplete it felt. I hope this was a more satisfying conclusion!

Plus, I'm also still stuck in Edward's head. I hate it here lmao

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter! :3