I was still tired from our little trip yesterday and I also felt very safe right now, so I also fell back asleep almost quickly as Annabeth. Initially, the extreme closeness to Annabeth, combined with the blanket, made the situation very hot in perhaps more than just a physical way, but my old mist cooling trick quickly solved that issue.
The next time I opened my eyes, almost two hours had passed. The air was still cool from the breaking of hydrogen bonds between water molecules consuming thermal energy from its environment. What the Hades did I just say? I think Annabeth also explained it once as 'the air was sweating'. That's an explanation I can understand. Technically, it's not really an explanation, just the information that a process I didn't understand worked similarly to a different process which I also did not understand. I realized that I had been thinking for too long when I felt Annabeth moving a bit next to me. She opened her eyes and said "Secondary morning, my seaweed brain" "Morning. Did you sleep well this time?" "It was okay. I actually had a nightmare but it wasn't that bad. This was essentially a wbtb situation, so even if it wasn't intentional, I retained some awareness that it was a dream. Along with that came the awareness that I was asleep and that you were right next to me. Like, right next to me, and that just gave me a lot of comfort and helped me through it" "Really? I mean I knew I had that effect on you, but in your dreams?" "Yeah, sure. If Piper was here, her Percabeth sensor would be off the charts." "It sure would. Speaking of you, Piper and dating, anything going on there?" "Apart from that one drunk kiss, no. I mean sure, she is somewhere attractive and I can't deny that the potential is there, but you're just better. She's also not really my type" "Well, your type is people who you were cursed to believe had left you but they didn't and also they went through hell with you" "That is in fact my type. So yeah, Piper's isn't my type and we're just friends. Well, let's just say we're not significantly more than friends." "I guess that is an acceptable answer." "Are you implying that there would be a not acceptable answer?" "Well, if you cheated on me with her that would be kind of not acceptable" "But why would I cheat on you?" "I don't know? I never said you were cheating, I just answered your question on what an unacceptable answer would be" "Right, that was the situation we were in. That was an acceptable answer from you. It's just that when you mention acceptable answers I kind of thought that the implied existence of unacceptable answers seemed like controlling behavior which would be bad but you not wanting me to straight up cheat, that's fine." "Good. What were we talking about again. Do you remember?" "I think we were talking about my temple designs before the alarm interrupted us. So, in addition to the trident spring, I had the idea of adding…" Okay, I'll admit it, I didn't give a schist about Annabeth's temple designs, but the way she got all excited about it, the way her eyes seemed to light up a bit, made me happy for her, so I sort of listened to it. In addition to not caring, I also didn't understand a lot of what she was saying. Like, what the Hades was a tensegrity structure? I decided to ask her about it. "Oh, that's a really interesting field of, well, it's not strictly an architectural thing, but it is used in many artistically oriented architectural projects. A tensegrity structure is basically like my mental state" "How is that?" "It looks like it should collapse, but the constant stress won't allow that" "I did not need to be called out like that" "Sorry. Basically, a TS is a structure which is partially held up by tensile strength and typically extends above the highest points of the structure that is rigidly connected to the ground. By partially held I mean that any path connecting the object to the ground runs through an object with tensile, but no compressive strength, like a chain or a rope. One example of this is the ring portion of the London eye since it is not…" One thing about Annabeth is that you can get her to have a talk about pretty much anything pretty much everywhere at pretty much every time, and I have yet to decide whether that is a good or a bad quality of hers. On one hand, it can be seriously annoying, on the other hand you have the aforementioned excitation.
"… Which would also be a good example of that. But I'm getting off topic now" "No schist. You've been talking about tensegrity structures for like twenty minutes now" "I have? Sorry about that." "Don't be sorry. I haven't seen you this excited in quite a while so I really enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong, content wise I didn't really care, but I liked seeing you happy." "Then I guess I'll keep going. So, for Artemis I was thinking maybe a star theme. Or would that be too triggering?" "Why would stars be triggering? I'm assuming you're not talking about Bob says- oh" "You just made it more triggering" "So, I'm assuming you're talking about Zoë" "Yeah. It was the first time I saw a god expressing any emotion other than anger. What do you think?" "If I had lost someone I had known for literally thousands of years I wouldn't want an interior design that reminded me of them. But honestly, I have no idea. Maybe tell Thalia to ask her" "I'll do that. I don't have any drachmas here and iris messaging is only free between the two of us, so I'll do it when I'm back at my school. No offense, but the video quality is also a lot better from there." "Says who?" "Says the call you made on Thursday" "That doesn't count. As I might have mentioned, I was straight out of a flashback at that point" "Fair point. But even when you're mentally stable, I think my prism can still do better." "Fine, do it later. When you leave me again" "Percy, I'm the one with the abandonment issues" "Right sorry. Didn't mean to steal your trauma" "It's fine. As long as you don't contribute to it anymore. Because you kind of have, even if it was not on purpose. That was technically the reason for my visit" "The prophecy about me dying" "exactly" "Good thing it wasn't about me. I mean, what did happen still sucked but-" "It's okay. His death did severely traumatize me, but you would have been so much worse." "I'll take that as a compliment" "Family, Luke, you promised" It was only a whisper, but I recognized the phrase instantly. It was obviously heavily traumatic and not something she'd just say. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Just a little triggered." While talking, we had gotten up. Now, Annabeth sat back down on the bed and I followed. "Flashback potential?" "Yeah" My brain went into emergency mode. Annabeth was in danger! "I'm assuming you're still in possession of your senses?" "Mostly" I took her hand and squeezed it a few times. Then, I began running my thumb over the back of her hand in small circles. "Do you feel that" "Mhm" "Focus on that. Focus on my voice" "Okay" "Okay. The year is 2010. The battle of Manhattan is over. It's been over a year. I know it hurts, but I also know how strong you are. You're going to get over it. I believe you can do it. "Family" She repeated. "He promised it" "I know. And believe me, he tried. He tried his best. Also, you still have family. Thalia. The rest of camp. My family. You not having a family is a thing of the past" Annabeth turned to face me. Her eyes were filled with tears, but at least focused on me. "It's over" She whispered before putting her head on my shoulder. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but I allowed it. She needed me now. "You have HDAD again?" "You mean ADHD?" "No, HDAD. Hug deficit affectionate disorder" "Totally. Though it's not really a disorder" "Well, if we look at the definition for a disorder…" "Then what?" Annabeth asked after a few seconds. "That was an instruction for you to tell me the definition of a disorder" "Why didn't you just say that? Anyways, I'd define it as 'an abnormal physical or mental condition'" "The amount of cuddles you need could definitely be called abnormal. I don't mean that as an insult" "Why would that be an insult. You're just calling me different" "Most people consider that an insult" "Internalized Xenophobia is something I banished from my life a long time ago" "Didn't your family kind of hate you for being different? From my experience you tend to Internalize that sort of stuff." "You're getting things mixed up here. My family didn't hate me because I was different. They hated me because I attracted monsters. The monster attacks brought with them a need to be protected, which was of course a huge inconvenience to them and another reason to hate me. That was what I internalized. I focus on my actual flaws rather than just the generic being different. Being different isn't something you can change, and it's usually not the reason why you're hated, so why worry about it?" "First of all, I don't believe your family hated you. Especially when you were younger, they probably just had trouble understanding your issues. I mean, what sane mortal adult would have believed the story about the spiders. As for your later visits, you simply presented a small safety hazard. In the eyes of your family, staying separate from you was by no means an act of hatred towards you but more an attempt to protect everyone physically. They didn't realize how it would harm you emotionally. You weren't hated, just misunderstood"
"I only explained why abnormal wasn't an insult to me. I didn't expect a wave of validation" "Annabeth, you're a demigod. When do things ever go the way you expect" "Not often enough, especially considering that planning is main survival tactic and planning requires knowledge of what will happen next" "Yeah, that kind of sucks. That part of the Athenian skillset is kind of useless when you're a demigod" "But the rest is great. The hubris also sucks. In combination, hubris and relying on plans are even worse because they make me quite susceptible to false surrender" "Which I will never tell anyone such that no one can abuse that weakness" "Exactly. So, going back to the validation you were giving me. That was something you did. Just acknowledging that brought back the happiness" "A little dopamine can never hurt" "Well, dopamine is the thing that causes most addictions, so it can definitely hurt" "Oh" "Also, dopamine is more of a euphoria thing. Your general everyday happiness is covered by serotonin." "Good. So I'm not posing a risk for addiction?" "This isn't even about you. This is about me acknowledging something" "Something that I did" "That's true I guess" "So the thing I originally did does not pose a threat of addiction?" "That thing specifically, no. Other things you sometimes do, probably yes. For example, if you were to kiss me…" She looked at me expectantly, so I followed the suggestion. She was silent for a few seconds after that. "Okay, I can think again. Massive dopamine rush. Definite potential for addiction" "Same" "By the way, I just realized that I failed Piper's challenge again" "Which was?" "Not to have a flashback or panic attack before breakfast." "Wait, did you actually have a flashback?" "Whether you're in one isn't a clear, binary transition. There's some area in between, and I was in the deep end of that grey area. Like, I was re-experiencing things, mostly emotions 'cause the emotions were the worst part I guess. The blood spilling everywhere also wasn't great, but I'm used to it. Anyways, I was re-experiencing things, but I wasn't yet at the point where I lose a significant amount of awareness of where and when I am." "That's good for you I guess. Speaking of breakfast, that is an excellent idea" "Yes, that's always good for recovery. Speaking of recovery, I'd say the next order of business after breakfast would be a hug" "We could just do that right now" "No, getting to breakfast in time is essential. Also, the longer the buildup the better the climax, so I'll wait with the hug. Annie, what are you doing here? We're discussing the details of something where even the concept of it is traumatizing to you. Fine, I'll leave" "Those co-con convos will never stop being weird to me. Okay, maybe weird isn't the right word" "We discussed this like two minutes ago. Weird is not a bad thing. Go on, call me weird all you want" "Said no neurotypical person ever" "Do I look neurotypical to you?" "Not really. Okay, not at all." We made our way to breakfast "Okay, yesterday you, well, not you, if it was you I wouldn't have to tell you, yesterday Annie destroyed a chair and that caused a trigger which led to a switch and it was overall not a good time, so maybe avoid doing that today" "You took us to a river yesterday to steal sand but you're telling me what not to do" "Stealing the sand wasn't my idea. Annie convinced me it was necessary. All I did was supply transportation. And information. And maybe a little bit of extremely strong demigod powers" "Sounds like you contributed a lot." "But Annie, and by extension you, was still the one who had the idea" "And you just trust all of our ideas blindly" "Uh, yes, it's the only way I can hope to stay alive. My mom once asked me 'If Annabeth jumped off a cliff, would you jump as well?' What can I say? Been there, done that"
Yes, I did just write a whole chapter that was just Percy and Annabeth getting up and getting ready for breakfast. Deal with it