We arrived at the cafeteria. Annabeth successfully picked a functional chair and so did everyone else. Annabeth waved at someone, but I didn't see who it was. "Regarding the jumping off a cliff thing, I guess your mom accidentally predicted the future" "I mean, she is clear sighted" "But apparently not as clear sighted as a certain mortal." "That is correct, her abilities got worse over the years" "So you had to get Rachel, right after returning from Calypso's island." I saw someone next to me. "Hey, can I sit here?" "Sure" "So, what are you two arguing about." "Just some girls Percy found particularly interesting." "I only stayed with Calypso because I was physically not capable of leaving the island. I hired Rachel because I needed her for the mission. I don't know why you have a problem with that, we've discussed this" "I was just making a joke" "Didn't seem like a joke to me" "To me neither" "You made a joke but didn't realize it was a joke?" "Essentially" "How?" "My brain is multi-threaded" "So you're discussing relationship stuff" "Not anymore" "Good, because otherwise I'd feel slightly excluded" "Yeah, but have you considered, you're only immune to romantic attraction. What we were discussing here goes far beyond just the romantic aspects of a relationship. It was actually more of an abandonment and being-the-second-choice thing." "I don't know about that either. In most situations, I'm the first choice. By most situations, I mean bullying." "Didn't Percy get rid of that whole thing" "Don't ask me how, but he did" "Welcome to my life" Annabeth said. "Seaweed brain does so much stuff and I have no idea how. Just under two weeks ago, he introduced himself to someone and she said 'I know that name, you blew up my school's chemistry lab' and believe me, that's not the biggest thing he's blown up." "And I'm not even the biggest pyromaniac in my friend group. That would be the guy who… never mind, I am the biggest one." What happened to the other one?" "He caused a really big explosion on August 1st and we haven't found him yet. He just blew himself very far away" "And by far away you mean what? Tartarus?" The word hit me like a punch to the face. Annabeth probably doubled over internally. "Why would you say that?" I asked. "I could have just said 'the afterlife', because that's sounds like he died, but I figured that you're both interested in Greek myth, so I said the Greek version of it instead." "In that case, Hades would be the correct term. Tartarus is more like hell. Though I do sometimes say what the Hades. Anyways, Hades would have been the place he'd be. But no, we have reason to assume he's still alive." "Do you have a problem with the word I said?" "Yeah. Trauma." "You have trauma from the Greek equivalent to hell, which is a made-up place?" Annabeth saved the situation (as always). "No, just something that sounds similar. Could we maybe not discuss that?" "Oh, of course, sorry. Where were we again? Right, at the point where you're explaining that you're excluding me in a way that is different from what I assumed" "You don't have severe abandonment trauma. Be happy about that" "That is true I guess. I never had friends abandoning me because I never really had friends to begin with" "Wish I could say that about me, but my life was just a little too hard to not look for friends. Well, family fits it better. Now they're gone, which kind of really hurts" "Why are being so open with me? I'm practically a stranger" "Usually, I'm more secluded, but I'm assuming Percy's mere presence overrides all the safety protocols in my brain. Also, once I start talking, I can't stop." "Okay. By the way, you promised me an aro flag. Did you get that?" "It's in Percy's room" Annabeth said. "It is?" "In my bag" "I didn't even know we made that" "I'll explain it later. See you in like two minutes" Annabeth got up and left. "Do you know where she's going?" "Probably getting your flag" "She'd do that for me?" "Do what for you, walk a few meters to our room" "A few meters that she'll have to walk anyways after breakfast" "Still, she's obviously doing it" "Yes, it's obvious, I was just surprised. People usually don't do that. Being nice to me I mean" "I feel like you'd get along quite well with Annabeth. She once said 'I was still figuring out the whole people-being-nice-to-me-thing'" "That's an accurate description of my current state." In that moment, Annabeth came back. "Here's your flag" "Thanks. I'd unpack it now, but it looks too big to do that here. I'll probably hang it up in my room" Since we had all finished breakfast by now, we decided to do that right away. It was the first time I had ever been to Julia's room. (Anything else might have made Annabeth just a tiny bit jealous) She put the flag on her bed and began unfolding it carefully. "You don't need to be this careful" Annabeth told her. "I just want to make sure I don't rip it. It looks really fragile" "You might as well try to rip apart a tin can. That's around the tensile strength we're talking about here." "Oh, that's really strong I guess. And the green almost looks like it's glowing." "I put a lot of effort into it." "All of that for me?" "From one aspec to another. Also, I just wanted to try out what I was capable of." "Apparently, what you're capable of is pretty insane" "Please, don't make her ego bigger. That already almost got her killed a bunch of times" "Hubris. That's what that was called, right?" "Exactly" "Wasn't that the cause of death for a bunch of Greek heroes?" "Yeah, Bellerophon for example. He thought it would be a good idea to fly up mount Olympus on his brother's back. Zeus killed him" "Did you just say brother?" "Technically half-brother. Bellerophon was a son of Poseidon and so is Pegasus. Let's just say Poseidon wasn't exactly the biggest ace icon of Greek mythology." I explained "Wasn't Zeus the guy who bangs everyone" "I'd say Zeus had the most, uh, partners, if you only count humans. Poseidon literally had a child with Medusa. Polyphemus is also one his kids" "You know, I think I'm starting to understand that one Roman emperor who tried stabbing the ocean to get rid of him" We talked for a while longer before leaving her alone and going back to my room.
"So, when was this flag created" "I actually made the fabric on what would have been the first day of school if it hadn't been for that broken pipe. Or rather I made a semiautomatic weaving machine on that day. My siblings helped maintain it over the time I spent in school, but decided that I would still receive the first bit of fabric to come from it without needing to be threatened with cleaning duties. I then asked the Iris cabin if they could do the colors. I think their mom accidentally also became the goddess of pride flags, so they're kind of obligated to do it, the same way that Aphrodite makes her kids ship us. One of the few good ideas she had." "That would explain why the colors were so vibrant. Okay, how much work actually went into this flag? I'd like to have some concrete number" "Who are you and what did you do to my boyfriend?" She asked, not followed by a laugh. "Was that a joke or a genuine question? "I have no idea. The existence of the mist and cyclopes make the idea of you not being the real Percy actually plausible rather than just an absurd idea proposed for the sake of comedy" "Don't worry, I'm the real Percy" "Good" "You weren't actually doubting that, right?" "Maybe a small part of me was. Only like 5%. Also, I doubt a bunch of things. I hate to admit it, but a tiny part of me still doubts that I can trust you" "Come on, we've known each other for over four years now." "Four years. One less than Luke" "You've know him for eight" "That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is, he went for five years without any evidence of him being untrustworthy" "And when you say evidence of being untrustworthy…" "I mean that day he almost killed you and admitted he was working for Kronos. So, by the time he started acting suspicious, I had known him for a year longer than I have known you. A small part of me just cannot ignore the fact that based on time alone, I have no reason to assume you're better than Luke. Don't get me wrong, you have done more for me than Luke, more than anyone else, and I'd put my life in your hands any second but still… some part of me just cannot ignore that extra year. I feel like this conversation is taking a significant toll on my emotional state, but if you could do something about that, maybe I'd trust you just a bit more" "You're talking about trust and then you try to trick me into giving you a hug" "Maybe. I'm sorry. Oh, would you look at that? My intense people pleasing response is back. Haven't seen them in a while, especially not when you're around" "If 'rare response' means 'badly triggered', I'm sorry" "No, I'm sorry" "Do you want the hug or not?" "Yes please" And so I gave her a hug for like the third time in one hour, sleeping not included.
Annabeth
"Percy?" "Yeah" "Do you think we spend too much time with hugging and cuddles?" "Does it help?" "Yes" "Is it harmful" "No, unl-" "Then it's not too much" "Well, my first instinct was to say it's not harmful, but there's probably more too it" "And that instinct was right. We don't hug too much" "But I want to overanalyze it" Even without help from littles, Annabeth could be overwhelmingly cute when she wanted to convince me of something. "Fine, go overanalyze" "So, as you mentioned, hugging is helpful. It reduces stress and anxiety which is great when you've just had a flashback. Overall, it makes your problems seem less, right?" "That is correct" "That last part sounds a lot like alcohol, doesn't it?" I'll admit it, maybe I should not have said that. After all, alcohol was one of Percy's strongest triggers and while just the word usually didn't have an adverse effect on him, saying it so suddenly while in a conversation about our relationship was probably not so smart. My prediction turned out correct as I saw how shocked Percy was. "I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that" "You really shouldn't. Don't worry, I'm okay. I'm not like actually triggered. But that is a terrifyingly valid point" "On the other hand, our love for each other isn't going to make you violently aggressive or destroy your liver" "That's a relief. A small one, but still" "Let's rewind to before I mentioned alcohol. Hugs just make us feel better in a lot of ways. In other words, it makes everything seem less sad hence why you have to be very careful about using it as a coping mechanism because you could become dependent very easily." "So you're saying hugging is addictive?" "Essentially" "And that's why it's bad? Is that what you're saying" "I was just considering some points. I haven't made a conclusion yet. I'd say that other coping mechanisms would be way worse. As I mentioned, alcohol would have the same effect on us, but with more negative consequences, so this coping mechanism is not actually that bad" "But you still could be onto something with the whole addiction thing. I think we have to be careful now, that's a big trigger area. I mean, we already established yesterday that we are at risk of addiction to each other, so becoming hug addicts would definitely be an option" "We have to be careful with what we classify as an addiction now. Usually I'd define it as when not doing something causes you misery and this is not because of a normal bodily function, like how not consuming vitamin C gives you scurvy, you would call that a vitamin C addiction" "Makes sense" "So, for example, you can become addicted to painkillers which means that you suffer if you don't take them regularly" "Makes sense" "Now imagine someone is severely injured, like a broken bone or a stab wound" "Been there, done that" "Now, if this person didn't get painkillers, they'd suffer, right?" "Right" "But you wouldn't call them a painkiller addict, because their dependence on the drug is caused by a factor unrelated to the drug. By that logic, we are also not hug addicts. Our abnormal need for physical contact doesn't come from previous physical contact, but rather from the overwhelming emotional stress that comes with the trauma we have. I guess we'd have to redefine addiction as a state in which doing a certain thing will cause misery later and that misery must be constantly avoided by doing that thing again. In other words, addiction is when not doing something causes misery purely because you have done that thing before" "So you're saying we don't hug too much?" "No" "I told you so" "But your statement wasn't backed up by anything, even if it was correct" "fine, you win" "That tends to happen" "It does. Please, don't let this boost your ego. It's already way too big" "But not as big as my love for you" "Aww, Annabeth, since when are you being so romantic" "Five seconds I guess. I just saw the opportunity and took it. Now that I think about it, this sounds like the typical structure of a generic pickup line" "I think when you're talking about actual love, you're beyond the picking up phase" "That's why I said it matches the structure of a pickup line. At least that's what some pickup lines are like. Others are just obscure euphemisms for 'wanna bang?', like for example 'want to put your wooden horse into my city?'. In case you're wondering, I wouldn't let it in" "Dam it. Also, where'd you get that line?" "According to some sources, a centaur once said that to Atalanta" "That was the one girl in Greece who didn't have the personality of a fertile cardboard cutout, right?" "Correct, she's so cool. Did I just say that out loud?" "You did" "Well, it's true, or at least it was. So, ever since I was a child, I knew I was a demigod" "Obviously, you were at camp" "That's not what I meant. I knew since I was three or four. Also, I was raised- if you can call it that- partially on ancient Greek myths. Since I knew of my parentage, I was aware that these stories showed me how my life as a demigod should look. The thing was, I was a girl. I mean, I still am, but that's not the point. So, the characters I was supposed to relate to were all, as you put it, cardboard cutouts. I was like 'Is this what my life is gonna be like? Sit around until I get married and hope my husband isn't a complete sociopath?' But then I heard the story of Atalanta and finally found a girl living a life that I could relate and look up to. Apart from the part where her family abandons her on a mountain of course. Okay, can you keep a secret?" "Even if I said no and you didn't tell me more, I could probably figure it out. Yes, I can keep a secret" "So, when I was like four to five years old, I was like a huge Atalanta fangirl. I mean, I of course didn't have the ability to buy like posters or figurines and they probably also didn't exist but if I could, I would have absolutely done that. To this day, I still kind of like her. By the way, the centaurs got the death penalty for their bad pickup line"
I'll have to admit, when I started this Chapter I absolutely didn't expect it to end like this but hey, at least I got a chance for Annabeth to overanalyze her trauma a bit more