Yo
Come howl at me, I'll be up in AizenTheGoat's server. The server link is : c9k4V9Y4wa
Kakashi brought out his orange book and began to reread the work pages as everyone got up to talk with each other.
Well almost everyone, the blond couple remained joined at the hip and just talked with each other while Gaara and the green man sat in silence.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wonder Woman approach Naruto and chuckled. At least that saved Naruto the stress of figuring out how to get closer to her. He still couldn't believe the boy liked older women. Poor Hinata, she never stood a chance.
"Not talking with anyone?"
Kakashi looked up to see the armoured man standing next to him. He had heard the man approaching but hoped he was going to just pass him by. Apparently not.
"Ah, Batman." He greeted the man. "You're talking with me now, aren't you?"
"I have a few questions for you." Batman said.
"I don't know what's under my mask, Lady Tsunade's bust size is one hundred and six centimetres, the dark circles under Gaara's eyes aren't make-up, they're eye bags and no, Naruto's whisker marks aren't whiskers, they're just marks." Kakashi smiled widely.
Batman didn't acknowledge the ninja's words save for narrowing his eyes. "Where were you all when the portal took you?
"I wouldn't know." Kakashi shrugged. "And if it's the portal you're worried about, you're better off asking Naruto. He's the space-time enthusiast among us."
"Do you think he could have anything to do with it? Maybe an experiment gone wrong?" Batman pressed.
"I wouldn't know that either." Kakashi shrugged again. "And like I said the first time, you're better off asking Naruto."
"He's… occupied."
Kakashi looked at his former student who was making wild gestures at Wonder Woman. He wasn't sure what the boy was talking about but it seemed to amuse the woman a lot. Good for him.
"Then it's best you wait for him to finish." Kakashi said. "He was out in the wilds when all this happened."
"I thought you didn't know where anyone else was." Batman's eyes narrowed.
"He said he was in a forest when he arrived here." Kakashi flipped to another page.
"Awfully convenient."
"Life doesn't always have to be hard, Batman."
"What about you?"
"Hm?" Kakashi blinked.
"Where were you? What were you doing?"
"What I'm doing now." Kakashi raised his book up. "I can tell you're not really here to ask about the portal, what are you really here for?"
Batman, seeing that he'd been found out, switched topics. "You lied about being in the military. Why?"
"I am in the military. I'd give you my identification number, but I doubt it'd be meaningful to you." Kakashi said.
Batman ignored that. "You're ninjas aren't you?"
"What makes you think that?" Kakashi frowned.
"You're ninjas. All of you. I didn't get to look at your pouches well, but I can recognise the outline of a kunai's ring on the flap." Batman said.
"Kunai are a farmer's tool." Kakashi retorted. "If you know your tools well, you'd know that."
"Kunai with ringed rears were made with the purpose of tying smoke bombs to them and so they'd be able to stab into whatever surface they got thrown at."
"Farmers did that so they could tie ropes around the ring to pull out root crops easier." Kakashi flipped to the next page. "Are you by any chance, looking to become a farmer? I'd ask Naruto for advice instead. He's not one, but he gardens a lot."
Batman, seeing that he'd get no admission from the silver haired man, went silent.
"Why exactly are you adamant on knowing what we are? It's not going to help you even if you did." Kakashi asked the man.
"It's better to know what we're up against, just in case." Batman replied bluntly.
"Oh, you don't trust us?" Kakashi asked innocently.
"Trust isn't a luxury I can afford."
"You've probably been waiting weeks to say that line, haven't you?" He chuckled. "I like that. I think I'll stitch it onto a shirt when I get home."
"You're avoiding the conversation."
"If we were going to attack you, we'd have done it the moment you all dropped here." Kakashi deadpanned. "And what would we gain from killing you? Your clothes?"
"Or you could just be waiting for all this to be over so you can catch us off guard"
"You all have your guards down now, don't you? Now would be as good a time as any to signal the rest to start the attack that we planned against a group that we've never known before and didn't expect to come here even though that group's been with us since the moment they arrived and we haven't spoken to each other since then."
"I can't say I don't trust you not to have figured out a way to communicate without words." Batman continued undeterred. "And you shielded your minds from Manhunter."
Kakashi knew something was wrong when the other group members would occasionally become distant during the course of Naruto's reading. They were all probably telepathically linked via the green one and were sharing their suspicions. This Batman fellow could have been the one they elected to voice them out.
"And what, let him just enter all our minds to establish trust?" He snorted.
"It's better than remaining suspicious to the rest of us for the remainder of the time here. And we might be here a while."
"For a while, not forever. Your mistake is assuming that your opinion has any importance to us. And it means even less since we won't be seeing each other again after this.
Kakashi closed his book with a sigh and stared at the superhero. Now that it didn't seem like there would be any fighting, he didn't bother hiding his scrutinising gaze.
After a while, he spoke again. "But then again, I doubt you're doing any of this because you're concerned for your people's wellbeing. I think you're really doing it because you can't handle not knowing about us. We're unknowns, and you don't like it."
"The most rational fear is the fear of the unknown."
"In your case, there is no fear, Batman."
"It doesn't mean I can't be cautious of you."
"Being cautious is a good thing, Batman. It keeps people alive. What you're doing now, isn't."
"And what am I doing?"
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Acting on baseless paranoia and assuming you're entitled to answers simply because you don't know us. We don't know you either and you haven't seen any of us interrogating your own."
"It's not that we can't or that we aren't curious or cautious, it's that we sincerely don't care what kind of people you are so long as you don't take up arms against us. And I can tell most of your own are the same, so it leaves only you."
"You're probably used to finding out about the things you want to know but real life wouldn't be real life if you always got your way. You can't always be one step ahead, Batman, the sooner you accept that, the better your life's going to be. And don't take this the wrong way, but if you keep up like this, you'll only end up making enemies of people who could have been valuable allies."
"Like you?"
"We're not seeing any of you after this place, so no." Kakashi smiled. "I've got to say, you even made me give a speech. I haven't said this much at once since my promotion. Don't worry, we're not attacking any of you."
"We don't know that."
" You don't know that." Kakashi corrected. "This conversation has been as bland as I thought it'd be, so I'd like to focus on my book now. If the desire to gather unimportant information still hasn't left you, feel free to ask…anyone who's not me."
Batman frowned at the giggling man who looked to have forgotten about him entirely. It was clear any further attempts would bring about the same outcome or cause the man and possibly the others to become hostile against him.
He turned to look at the blond woman who was currently in a conversation with Superman and decided he'd approach her later. His eyes went to the redhead who sat quietly and he neared the boy.
"Ga-"
"I'm not speaking with you, Batman." Gaara cut him off.
Batman frowned. "I jus-"
"Leave." His frown deepened when he felt something wrap itself around his ankle and tighten hard enough to slightly crush the armour. He looked down at what it was. Sand.
He looked back up at the boy who fixed him with an unblinking stare and got the message. He nodded and the sand flowed away from his leg before disappearing into something he couldn't see.
'He can manipulate sand, possibly earth in general. The sand reeked of stale blood. Naruto can use wind, possibly as was shown in the book. Most likely with lethal intent. I don't know about the others but they're most likely the same.' He thought as he walked away. 'What kind of people are these?'
He couldn't act like they weren't a threat, they very much were. Why couldn't the others see this? These people weren't half as nice as they made themselves look.
He glanced at Naruto who leaned on the wall as he listened to Wonder Woman talk and tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling in his gut. They'd slip up eventually and show their true colours.
It was just a matter of waiting. And he was a very patient man.
"So you're from an island of warrior women?"
"Indeed."
"Did all the men leave or something?"
"We don't allow men on the island."
"Strange, but it's not new. There's a place in my world called the Nadeshiko village. They don't exactly have a "no men'' policy, but they don't allow any man that enters to leave unless he fights."
"So all he has to do is fight?" Wonder Woman asked.
"Well, not just that. If he wins, he'll have to marry the woman who challenged him and can only leave after getting her pregnant."
Wonder Woman snorted at that. That would go horribly on Themiscryia. The only men who knew the island existed before Steve were gods and they'd be ecstatic to know that they could bed all the amazons they wanted so long as they defeated them first. "And if he loses?"
"She'll kill him. It's a fight to the death, he's also free to go if he kills her, but if he spares her, that's when the marriage and impregnation option comes in."
"And you encountered one of those women? That one that was searching for you?" Wonder Woman gave him a curious look.
"Yeah. Her name was Shizuka. She was a pretty nice person." Naruto smiled wistfully at the memory of the green eyed girl. He'd have to see how she was doing one of these days.
"She tried to kill you."
"She was just following customs. And we came to an understanding afterwards."
"You bedded and impregnated her?" Wonder Woman asked, causing Naruto to sputter. "I knew it."
"I did not! There was another guy she still liked even though he was dead so even though she lost, it was obvious she didn't want some random guy knocking her up." Naruto defended himself.
"Considering she sought you out to challenge, I doubt she considered you a random guy." Wonder Woman said.
Shizuka hadn't even known who he was at the time. All she knew was that she had to challenge Jiraiya's student and it just happened to be him.
For all the good it did her. She gained nothing from the fight other than a bruised ego and the motivation to change her village. Hopefully, she succeeded.
"I'm surprised you didn't try. Was she not up to your standards?" Wonder Woman asked.
"Oh she was, but if I did, I'd have to marry her." He hated not to do it, but it was better to abstain than get roped into a situation you weren't ready for just because you wanted to get laid.
"Hm." Diana smirked. "Do you have any other tales like this one to share?"
"Oh he's got more." Kakashi cut in, idly reading from an orange book. "There's Shion, Amaru, Haruna, Koyuki-"
"Shut up! Shut up!" Naruto pushed the man away. He couldn't have Wonder Woman thinking he was some sort of guy who slept around.
"You know quite a lot of women, don't you?" The woman in question asked. Naruto was a good person from what she could tell and she didn't plan on judging him for his vices so long as they weren't depraved or harmful.
"Err, let's get back to your Island." Naruto dodged the question. "So you've got nothing but women? How'd you manage to keep it a woman-only place especially if you still have children?"
Wonder Woman snorted at the obvious diversion but answered nonetheless. "I haven't really asked about it myself. It's been like that centuries before me and since I was little."
She had never really put much thought into why they only had women on Themiscryia. She had never even seen a real man until Steve crashed on the island.
"You should, Wonder Woman." Naruto said. "There's no harm in asking questions about things that seem unusual. Even the ones that are usual should still be questioned if you don't understand them."
"Perhaps I'll ask my mother the next time I go back." Wonder Woman rubbed her chin. "I don't think I should keep you any longer, you wanted to speak with The Flash and Green Lantern, didn't you?"
Naruto waved her off. "They're not going anywhere. Besides, you're good company. I don't meet people who like to talk like you do."
"I imagined I'd be boring for someone your age." Wonder Woman raised an eyebrow. "I've dealt with teenagers before and our topics of interest rarely ever align."
"Well, I've always been different. I never fit in with the rest." Naruto scratched the back of his head. He fit in even less after the war.
Most people he used to know were either nauseatingly respectful to him or purposely rude in an attempt to remind him that he was still one of them or reassure themselves that he wasn't as high up as he was said to be.
He'd attended the birthday party of one of his former classmates as a guest of honour and the man decided a good way of reminiscing about the past was to tell all the guests about him being the dead last that everyone was allowed to bully.
If he wasn't sure doing so would take the idiot's head clean off, he'd have punched him in the face. He however, found his details and using the connections he had, increased the taxation on his business and properties as well as the bills for his amenities. The man went broke in a few months.
"I find that hard to believe." Wonder Woman snorted. "I haven't known you for a while, but you seem like a social person to me.
"Oh, I am. Very much so. I don't want to sound egotistical, but I'm the life of the party. But finding a person fun doesn't mean you're friends."
"That's understandable."
Gaara approached the two and tapped Naruto on the shoulder. "My apologies for interrupting you two, but I need to talk with Naruto."
"It's alright, I'm still here." Wonder Woman shrugged.
"We'll continue this later?" Naruto asked the woman as he walked away.
"Of course." She smiled at him.
"You work fast." Gaara remarked when they were out of earshot.
Naruto blinked. "What?"
"You never talk that much with people you don't take a shine to. You like her."
"She's nice, yeah. A good conversationalist too. If you can get past how she sounds a lot older than she looks sometimes." Naruto nodded.
"I think you see her in a romantic light." Gaara gave him a small smile.
"Gaara, you're my age. At least talk that way and no, I'm not planning to date her. We just met."
"I don't think it's a good idea."
Naruto frowned. "Why not? If I was planning to date her, that is."
"Because it's highly unlikely that you two will ever meet after this, Naruto."
"I know that, Gaara." Naruto sighed. "But she's…special. I don't know why, but I've been drawn to her since she arrived here. It's strange, but I can't help it."
"I can't say I understand what you're talking about, Naruto, but I'm just concerned about you. It wouldn't do if you start something that'll end on a short notice." Gaara patted him on the shoulder. "Batman tried to interrogate Hatake."
"Why?" Naruto asked. "It's not like anything he finds out is going to be of any use to him."
"He's paranoid, nothing more. I wouldn't put it past him to try using underhanded methods like agitating you into giving away what you wouldn't, so be careful."
"Thanks, Gaara." Naruto nodded. "Before I forget, I got the plan for the aqueduct from Tazuna before going to River County."
"Did he get the scaling right? It's going to be going from River County to Suna."
"I still say you should have tested the waters in River Country first. I heard many of the rivers are infested with parasitic worms."
"We don't really have many options, Naruto. We can't keep purchasing water from other countries, we're still rebuilding our economy." Gaara sighed.
"I told you I could help you get permission from Koyuki to let it run all the way down to Spring Country."
"But the costs of building it would be too high."
"I also told you to let me handle that. Nobody has to know it's not an officially funded project. We're still keeping mute on the fact that you're building an aqueduct."
"Naruto?" Superman joined in the conversation. "I think it's best we start reading now."
"Oh, alright but why are you telling me? I'm not the one reading."
"I just wanted to let you two know. The rest are seated again. Besides, we're reading about you."
"It feels a lot more uncomfortable now that I remember that." Naruto muttered. Alternate self or not, it didn't change the fact that it was still him and everyone got to know his thoughts.
Superman shrugged sympathetically and went to get seated, leaving the two friends alone again.
"Well, back to it." Naruto said.
"Indeed."
…
"Hey, Naruto. We still haven't gotten to really talk about the portal. Hope you haven't forgotten." Flash greeted the boy as he sat behind him.
"Hell no." Naruto shook his head. "I just got a little sidetracked."
"Yeah, you and Wonder Woman were very sidetracked." The crimson speedster gave Naruto a teasing smile. "Should I get her to come sit next to you."
'That'd be nice.'
"It's cool." Naruto refused. "Besides we get to talk as Superman reads without interrupting the man."
"Yeah. This would be better if Arrow were here too, he's really cool too."
"If he detaches himself from Canary before the book's read to the end, I'll find out." Naruto glanced at the two lovers. "But then, I can't really blame him for not doing so."
"I'd keep my eyes away if I were you. He tends to go psycho for her sometimes. He catches you staring, that's an instant wrong foot."
"I think I can get away with admiring a hot person, Flash. Besides, I'd be bummed too if someone tried snatching my partner." Naruto defended. "That's not cool. Not one bit."
"True that." Flash nodded.
"And you don't have much ground on which to complain about me staring, I saw you staring at granny's boobs." Naruto accused the man.
"I- I have the same as you, Naruto. Nobody's boobs should grow that big. Besides, I'm married. Happily at that." Flash sputtered. "Why do you call her granny anyways? She doesn't look a day over thirty."
Naruto winced as a bottle cork hit him on the head. Apparently, Tsunade had heard everything they were saying. Shit.
"...Hey, Superman's starting."
Flash hastily looked up as the screen appeared again just as Superman opened the book.
…
Chapter 2 - Argo
Superman paused.
"What's an Argo?" Naruto asked.
Superman's voice was heavy. "It was one of the three principal city-states on Krypton. The last time I went to the planet to search for survivors, Argo was the only place still standing, albeit barely."
"Oh…" Naruto frowned, unsure of what to say. He suddenly felt a bit guilty for never going back to Uzushiogakure. Sure, he wasn't likely to find anything other than ruins and maybe a few human remains but it's the thought that counts.
"It's also where I found my cousin, Supergirl so it's not all that bad." Superman continued, smiling slightly. "She'd have loved to be here. She's the adventurous one out of the two of us, always wanting to meet new people, see new places."
"Your cousin destroyed fifty thousand dollars worth of equipment." Batman spoke out.
"For God's sake, Batman." Superman groaned. "I told you I'll pay you back."
"With a reporter's salary?" Batman scoffed quietly, although Superman heard it clearly.
"Yes, with a reporter's salary." The Kryptonian huffed.
"Hey, I don't know what you two are talking about but if you miss her that much, don't worry. You might see her here if the portal's still running wild in your world." Naruto gave him a thumbs up, only realising how bad that sounded after saying it.
All the superheroes looked worried at the thought. What if the portal was still running amok? If it took all the heroes, it'd be the anarchy all over the world.
Kakashi coughed awkwardly. What a depressing way to start the story.
Through the thick windows of the spaceship's cockpit, an enormous red star could be seen. It was Rao, a red supergiant.
All the ninjas looked amazed.
"Wow." Naruto whispered. "That's what a star looks like up close?"
"Most are smaller though. Supergiants are the largest class of stars." Green Lantern, getting Naruto to look at him. "But save for the differing colours and surface patterns caused by different wavelengths, velocities and amplitudes of radiation, they pretty much like that."
"I don't understand half of what you just said, but you're going to explain it to me after this." Naruto said excitedly. He'd have to talk with Kurama about going back out to space. He had to see everything!
"If you think that's amazing, wait till you see galaxies, black holes, white holes, nebulas, star clusters and supernovas." Green Lantern smirked at the boy.
He wasn't sure if a lantern ring would consider him worthy, but his desire to learn and explore alone would get him an instant approval from the guardians to join the research groups.
Supergiants were the largest type of stars that could be found in the Universe.
"Just as you said." Tsunade told Green Lantern who nodded.
"Well, yeah. All the knowledge in the universe in this head." The man bragged.
"I knew it was all the ring's work." Black Canary snickered.
"I said in this head, not the ring." The man frowned at her.
"Let's not start this again." Green Arrow stopped them both from starting the same back and forth they always had.
The one saving grace for the planets orbiting it was that red stars were not as hot as yellow stars, let alone blue stars.
"I don't think there's any planet with a blue sun, is there?" Superman rubbed his chin. "Is there, Lantern?"
"There's a few but they're further away from the sun than Pluto is from yours. It doesn't help much though, they're still hotter than Venus."
"That sounds…scorching." Green Arrow grimaced. He wasn't a big fan of hot places. The only reason he even went to beaches at all was because he got to see Dinah in a bikini and she sometimes fucked him in the changing rooms when she was feeling bold.
"You have no idea." Green Lantern shook his head. "I had to retrieve a core from one of those planets and nearly died doing so. I literally caught fire the moment I entered the atmosphere. Nasty way to go."
Naruto nodded in agreement. The memories of his clones who'd met fiery ends gave him a good feel of the experience.
Come to think of it, he had many memories of dying in painful, often messy ways. Maybe he should start using clones less.
Nevertheless, the intelligent lifeforms in the Rao System had still perished in the end.
Superman sighed dejectedly.
Martian Manhunter looked pained too as his mind went back to his own world.
As the Almeracian spaceship flew towards the area that Krypton used to orbit, they saw a very large number of asteroids glowing with a dark green light littering the space. Chunks of matter starting from sizes of several hundred feet to even tens of miles were all that remained of planet Krypton and its moons.
Kakashi stared at the planet. He knew it was a dead one but it still looked unreal.
"How did rocks get in space?" Naruto looked confused.
"They're called asteroids and they're the residue from when planets were formed." Flash explained. "Although some are the remains of planets."
Naruto nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem, bud."
"But why are they glowing?" Gaara asked.
"Kryptonite." Superman's eyes narrowed. "There's kryptonite on them."
"No wonder it's so common." Green Lantern exclaimed. "There's a whole asteroid belt's worth of it. And I can bet that your high speed exit from Krypton was enough to get some of them moving in the direction of Earth."
Superman couldn't think of a proper response for the man. How hadn't he noticed this last time? If he had taken care of it, maybe not every villain, if any of them would be able to get their hands on the radioactive crystal.
Maybe Lex would be normal by now.
When civilisations as powerful as Krypton are wiped out in a single day...it makes you realize how fragile and insignificant our lives are. That no matter what great accomplishments one has in life, in front of nature we are nothing but specks of dust." Naruto said.
Everyone nodded in agreement. In the end, achievements, titles and ranking were just worldly possessions. In the end, it was the same death that claimed the poor that claimed the rich, their bodies decayed the same way and their works in life would be of no benefit to them in death.
Naruto sighed. Connecting with nature had driven the point in for him even further. The world didn't mourn or celebrate anyone's passing, not even Jiraiya who had been the only sage for decades or Madara who had damaged the landscape for miles. It simply claimed their bodies. Nobody's death truly meant anything. Life goes on.
It was also part of why he never killed people he didn't have to. In the eyes of the world, killing people was the same as sparing them. Both were equally inconsequential in the end.
Wonder Woman felt something similar. She'd been exposed to the fragility of life early in her life and learned first hand how easily it could be snuffed out permanently. Consequently, she developed a greater appreciation for life than most, only taking it when she had no other conceivable option. Her sisters considered her soft hearted for it, but didn't dare say it to her face. She was still a fearsome warrior after all.
His facial expression could not be seen because of the mask he was wearing but his voice was subdued, melancholic.
"Have you been here before? I mean on Krypton." Superman who had been silent until then asked.
"Unless the other me wanted to scavenge something from the world, I doubt it." Naruto commented, having already gotten over the moment of sobriety.
"Yes, roughly 4 decades ago, to get my reward for completing a bounty. It wasn't long before it blew up now that I think of it. It came out as a shock for many beings in the entire Galaxy when Krypton was destroyed."
"Oh, he did." Naruto blinked.
"He actually went to Krypton before it got destroyed?" Flash looked surprised. "No wonder he looks so sad. It's like going to a fun place a few years ago and then going back there years later only to find a demolished building where it used to be."
"That's…surprisingly understandable." Green Lantern said.
Hearing him speak about his homeworld, Superman was listening with rapt attention.
"You may or may not know this but even today, dozens of years after Krypton's destruction, their technology and their relics still fetch a very high price on the legal and black markets alike. It goes to show how advanced they had been for their tech to have not become outdated even after all these years."
Superman looked irritated at the reminder. He'd been attacked once in space by a group of pirates using Kryptonian technology they got off the black market.
"He's not wrong. Many people would still pay a fortune for anything Kryptonian, no matter how small or useless looking." Green Lantern said. "We once busted a guy involved in an illegal trade ring specifically for Kryptonian technology. He had dozens of weapons and vehicle parts in his warehouse. We estimated the worth to be at least a hundred million credits."
"In dollars, what would that be?" Flash asked.
"Credits are the only universally accepted currency and while they have the lowest exchange rate, I'd still say it would be about four hundred to a billion in dollars."
"Well shit." Green Arrow whistled. He could afford kryptonian technology then?
"Don't think about it, Robin Hood." Black Canary shut him down. "You're a handful already without alien tech."
"Come on, babe. Think about it. Me with an 'S' on my chest running through the rooftops, no, flying. Flying through the skies in my alien jetpack and my gatling bow."
"Sounds like a nightmare." She chuckled. "Let's leave the 'S' business to Superman, yeah?"
"It's not an 'S', it's my people's symbol for hope." Superman said.
"But hope starts with an 'H'." Flash pointed out.
Superman ignored the man and kept reading.
"Can't stop wondering though... how could a civilisation as technologically advanced as them die out in such a dumb way? You'd think they should have easily managed to detect that something was wrong with the planet's core and at least escape if not outright solve it. This whole situation smells fishy to me. And not just me, anyone with a working brain would think something else happened behind the scenes."
"It's true." Tsunade said. "If they were as advanced as you say they were, how couldn't they tell their world was dying?"
"Unless it was triggered by something or someone." Kakashi said.
"Or someone outright destroyed it." Gaara put in his own point.
Superman clenched his fists at his words.
"You are right. Someone orchestrated everything. My father was one of the leading scientists on Krypton and he had warned everyone that the planet was going to explode but nobody in the government wanted to believe him and the results of his research. Instead, they chose to listen to the corrupted AI that they had created, Brainiac."
"I don't see the point in trying to ignore something like that." Naruto shook his head. "Even if it sounds absurd, it's better to look into it and be sure the man's just lying or crazy than just not believing."
"I agree." Martian Manhunter said. "Investigation is more profitable than skepticism."
"They probably just didn't want to cause mass panic. Nothing drives people mad better than the knowledge that they're all going to die." Green Lantern said.
"Or they wanted to preserve their image and keep getting money." Batman joined in. "Panicked masses can't work to gather revenue."
"The fact that they didn't flee before everything happened means you're both wrong." Tsunade said. "Nobody believed the man, that's it. If they didn't want to cause a mass panic, they'd have taken steps to evacuate everyone quickly or prevent the disaster. And if they were after the money alone, they'd have fled before anything happened."
Wonder Woman agreed with the woman.
"Man, it's Skynet all over again." Flash shook his head in an attempt to lighten the mood. Green Arrow snorted, getting the reference.
"Sky…net?" Naruto spoke slowly. Flash gave him a pitying look.
"You poor, poor, unenlightened soul."
"But, by the time they finally realized that Brainiac had been lying to them all along, it was too late. As far as I know, besides the criminals trapped in the Phantom Zone, I'm the last Kryptonian. My father sent me on a rocket, as a baby, to Earth, minutes before the collapse. A short video is all I have left of my parents' memory."
Naruto patted the somber man on the shoulder. "Considering your parents saved your life rather than their own, I'd say they loved you very much and believed you would turn out better than they would if they had been in your place. Let that push you, Superman."
"Their memory shouldn't just be a source of sadness to you, Superman. It should also be a source of drive. Let their memories give you drive. Let the knowledge that they loved you enough to die in your place drive you to become what they believed you could be. What they died for so you could be."
"Become what they wanted you to be, become more than that. Go beyond their expectations so that when you're able to meet them in the afterlife, you'll be able to face them with pride because you know they didn't die for nothing. Be that man, Superman. Honour them with your life so you can face them in death with your head held high."
"I…thanks, Naruto." Superman gave him a small smile.
"It's alright. Besides, you may be the last Kryptonian, but you're not alone. You've got your team, your cousin and a bunch of other people I don't know." Naruto smiled.
He had to admit, the man's parents sounded very nice to make a recording for him. Probably just so he wouldn't grow up without knowing who they were. He was sure his own would have done the same if they had the time, but they hadn't. All he had were the memories of meeting them in the seal and his father during the war.
Diana stared at the boy. Normal people didn't end their speeches by talking about death and didn't start without offering their sympathies but the boy did both. Encouraging words, they were.
'We'll be talking a lot more, Naruto.' She thought. 'I want to know what would make you speak the way you did.'
"Wow, you practice that speech in the mirror every morning?" Green Lantern snickered.
"Knowing Naruto, it just came to his mind." Kakashi said. "He's always been good at speeches."
"Good at speeches, huh." Green Arrow hummed. "Hey Naruto, do you draw?"
" You look like a blond Guy Fawkes." Flash cut in. "Don't get started on that."
"Think about it, Flash. He's good at speeches and he's been to prison."
"What exactly is going on?" Tsunade asked Wonder Woman who shrugged.
"I think they're talking about a dictator, I'm not too conversant with history myself."
"It's funny because we have a dictatorial rule too." Kakashi chuckled. "And Naruto was once considered a candidate."
"See?" Green Arrow said.
"I can't believe you." Flash shook his head.
Naruto stared at the two, feeling lost.
Due to his upbringing, Superman was a very kind and pure-hearted man. One that would not willingly hurt even a fly. However, if there was someone he wanted to destroy with every fibre of his being, that was Brainiac.
Superman's eyes darkened. His encounters with Brainiac were few but as much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed it every time he got to tear the AI's vessel apart.
The God of Evil, Darkseid was a close second too. Nevertheless, that was easier said than done.
"Sounds like one hell of a guy." Kakashi chuckled nervously. He'd lost his life fighting a self proclaimed god and here was a bonafide god who was so evil, he lorded over the very concept.
"He's a lot worse up close." Green Lantern shuddered. The god had broken almost all his bones and all he did was swat him like a fly. He didn't even look in his direction as he did it.
"We did tell you not to rush in." Batman said.
"Naruto, I'm hungry." Kyuubi said all of a sudden.
The ninjas became attentive as the kyuubi showed on the screen. Wonder Woman and Naruto smiled when they saw him.
And just like that, the solemn mood from before was completely broken. Naruto's voice sounded helpless when he spoke next.
"Seriously, Kurama,"
"The kyuubi has a name?" Kakashi looked surprised as did Tsunade.
Naruto felt thankful that Kurama wasn't awake. He'd be pissed that everyone got to find out his name so easily. To a degree, he was too.
It took him battling his own self and engaging the tailed beast in a chakra tug of war before Kurama decided he was alright enough to know his name but for the rest, all it took was reading a line on a book.
"Well, cat's out of the bag." He sighed. "I wouldn't say it casually though. He's mellowed out a lot but he won't think twice about biting your heads off if he hears you saying it."
"The kyuubi has a name." Tsunade still couldn't believe it.
"What, did you think he was some mindless creature of destruction?" Naruto frowned. "He was actually pretty alright with people until Madara got to him and the first hokage decided to capture him and the others instead of letting them roam free like they always had."
Tsunade frowned at the memory of her grandfather. She had a lot of love for the man but she had to admit that was perhaps his most foolish action in his lifetime. He'd introduced a new and devastating method of warfare in an asinine attempt at brokering peace.
"You ate 3 hours ago. Have some patience. You can see that there is nothing edible around..." but then his words trailed off and he turned his head towards Superman.
Superman sent a nervous glance at Naruto who grinned toothily at him. Had his canines always looked that sharp?
"See this is why you keep a weapon on you." Green Arrow chuckled. "Keep them out of arms range."
"I'm not talking about seat belts when I say that I'm strapped." Flash grinned.
"I'm not talking about the bike when I say I've got the chopper." Green Arrow followed.
"I call my gun the KKK because it hates ni-" Green Lantern got cut off by an alarmed Flash who screamed.
Black Canary rolled her eyes. Rap music. Ugh.
"Don't worry, Naruto isn't a cannibal." Kakashi assured the man. "He might like to swallow live animals whole, but he's never eaten a person before."
Everyone gave Naruto a strange look. The boy in question sighed. Damnit, Itachi.
Coincidentally, Kyuubi also turned his head and licked his whiskers as he looked at Superman with a hungry look in his eyes.
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this." Superman stared at the book. "I'm stuck on a ship with two potential cannibals."
"Kurama's not the same species as you so he's not a cannibal." Naruto reasoned with him. That didn't comfort Superman.
"And you?"
"...I mean, you're not human."
"Oh my God." Superman looked horrified.
"I'm just joking." Naruto laughed.
"Well, his genetic code is different from humans, he's only human in appearance." Green Lantern pointed out.
" …Okay, hear me out."
"Read, Superman." Batman sighed.
A chill travelled down Superman's spine and he unconsciously stepped back, inwardly starting to become alarmed. Only 3 hours had passed since he left the Preserver's ship and he had been nowhere close to a Yellow Sun to recover his strength. Because of that, he was still severely weakened compared to his usual self.
"Your body's strange." Naruto said. "Red suns weaken you, but yellow suns empower you?"
Superman nodded. "Yes. It's because of the radiation."
Naruto rubbed his chin. "Hmm, what would happen if you were under a blue sun then?"
He had been under a blue sun once. It had left him feeling as if he could take on all of Apokolips on his own. "It's like a yellow sun. But far, far more empowering."
Naruto gave him an envious look. The best he could do with the sun was use it to heal and energise himself in sage mode which was the closest thing to photosynthesis a human could achieve.
As Superman was bracing himself for what could be a battle for his life, the fox started snickering like a hyena.
"I'm just kidding! Hahaha!"
After he stopped laughing, Kyuubi asked as though it just came to his mind. "By the way, can you Kryptonians regrow your limbs if you were to lose an arm or a leg?"
"I don't know and I'm not interested in finding out." Superman ignored the curious looks sent his way.
"You say it like they'd even be able to get past your skin." Green Lantern rolled his eyes.
"He's got tough skin?" Naruto asked.
"Tough? Try impenetrable."
Naruto whistled. "You're really something, Superman. Hot eyes, impenetrable skin, flight, absorbing energy from the sun. Is there anything you can't do?"
"It's not 'hot eyes'." Superman ignored Flash's muttered 'pause'. "It's heat vision. I can fire out the solar energy in my body through my eyes in the form of beams."
"Do you think you can do it now?" Naruto asked. "Not at me, just fire a quick beam out into the distance."
Superman shrugged and his eyes glowed red before two thin beams escaped his eyes and disappeared into the distance.
"Maaan, that's hot as fuck." Naruto fanned himself. "Do you really shoot that at people? Shit, I felt like I was standing next to a furnace."
"It's usually like that." Superman smiled sheepishly. "Most people don't stand near me while I'm using it for the same reason. And no, I don't use it on people. At least not the ones who can't take it."
"I'd hate to meet the people who can." Naruto said. He was probably one of them, but he could tell the man had barely put anything into those beams. He wasn't sure he could survive a fully powered one.
The real meaning was not lost to Superman. But, before he could reply, Naruto grabbed Kyuubi by the scruff of his neck and brought him down from his right shoulder in his lap.
"I can't believe you did that to the kyuubi." Kakashi said. This was the same being that nearly reduced Konoha to rubble in one night?
"Stop teasing the poor boy." he said with a chuckle and, in the palm of his other hand, a glowing sphere of light-blue energy took shape. "Come, tell me what flavour you want this time."
Batman's eyes narrowed at the screen. "What's that?"
"A glowing sphere." Naruto gave him a 'duh' look. "I think we're both seeing the same thing."
"It's clearly a power." Batman said. "What does it do?"
"It's obviously being used to feed a hungry animal, Batman." Flash said. "I wouldn't say it's got any destructive properties if it's edible, even if it's just energy."
"Exactly." Naruto nodded. Like hell he was talking about the rasengan. What was with the flavours though?
At the sight of the Rasengan in Naruto's hand, Kyuubi's nine fluffy tails started wagging excitedly.
Naruto sighed.
"Rasengan?" Batman asked. "I'm guessing you know what it is then."
"It's a technique used to feed creatures capable of consuming energy as you can see." Kakashi jumped in and formed one in his hand, slightly amazing the people who watched energy swirl around rapidly enough to form a sphere. "A basic technique for the event where you come across them. They're usually hostile but if you feed them, they'll leave you alone."
That seemed to satisfy Batman who nodded, filing away the information, and looked at the screen again.
"Make it spicy!" the fox said and gulped impatiently. He looked like a glutton.
In the next moment, the light-blue Rasengan turned red, transforming into a ball of fire. With no further ado, Kyuubi started to bite and lick at the sphere of fire chakra with gusto, as though it was a delicious ice-cream.
"He'd make a killing in circuses." Green Arrow remarked. Wonder Woman looked annoyed by his comment. No creature like that would live out its days entertaining vile people who delighted in watching the torment of animals.
"Look at him, isn't he adorable?" Naruto cooed.
"He is." Wonder Woman and Black Canary nodded. Naruto smiled at the former.
"I have a feeling Kurama's going to love you." He told her.
A growl came from Kyuubi for being called 'adorable' but his ire did not last long because he quickly lost himself in the sauce.
"He does look endearing when he's not threatening to eat my limbs whole." Superman said and the two men chuckled together.
"Yeah, he does." Superman had to admit.
While they were laughing, an alarm rang and a notification appeared on the large screen of the computer in the control room of the ship. Below a red S.O.S. signal, a small map of the Rao System appeared with a pulsating red dot at the very edge of it.
"Is there anyone alive?" Superman asked, his voice betraying his hopes and expectations.
Superman didn't let anyone speak and kept reading. He had to know what happened next.
Naruto extinguished the orb of chakra in his hand but Kyuubi growled in unhappiness and bit on his fingers.
"I'm going to pull his ears so hard, they'll extend an extra inch." Naruto frowned. Biting the fingers that fed him, the lazy ingrate.
"Don't do that to him." Wonder Woman warned him.
"Why not? He's biting the fingers that fed him."
"Ow, you little shit, biting the hand that feeds you?"
"See?"
Still, it was not the time to start a fight with the fox and instead turned his attention towards the screen. He changed the destination of the ship to the coordinates shown on the map.
"It's still amazing that you can easily triangulate locations like this." Kakashi remarked. Honestly, their world sounded a lot better than his if the issues were ignored. "We don't even have any proper maps."
"Really?" Flash asked. "Why not?"
"We used to be at war pretty much all the time." Kakashi explained. "The only cartographers were scouts who examined villages from vantage points and mapped out everything they saw so as to analyse it for entry points. The official map of our village was inspired by an enemy cartographer we found and killed in the third great war."
"Damn. You've had three great wars?" Green Lantern asked. The way the man said it, it sounded like a world war.
"Yep." The man nodded. "We even had a fourth one about two years ago."
Batman stared at the man. That 'we' sounded a bit too personal for the man to mean soldiers in general.
"Don't get your hopes too high. For all we know, there is no landmass at the edge of the system, so far away from the star. Most likely it's a stranded ship requesting assistance." Naruto said.
"Ah, stranded scavengers." Green Lantern spoke. "Gotta love them."
But, to Superman's delight, the blond's words were proven to be wrong a few minutes later when a rather small planet appeared in their view. It was grey, seemingly devoid of life, and enormous cracks littered the surface, cracks in the crust that were so large that they could be seen all the way from space. It was a dead planet.
"I'm guessing that's Argo?" Kakashi asked.
"He said Argo was a city." Naruto corrected him.
"But they're headed towards a planet. I'll bet you a thousand ryo that the planet's name is Argo."
"I'll bet you a hundred thousand that it's not." Naruto smirked.
"Stop throwing money around so carelessly, Naruto." Tsunade frowned at him.
"Relax, granny. I'm a billionaire!"
Flash sighed. "It's like everyone gets billions except me."
Kakashi looked curious. "Jiraiya's inheritance?"
"Coupled with my rewards for the war, the pay for the diplomatic missions and the new line of icha icha books." Naruto said. "Do you really think I'd just sit still and go around doing whatever I want with my life just because I think I'll never run out of money?"
Batman and Green Arrow avoided te gazes directed at them.
"Could anyone still be alive on a planet like this? After such a disaster?" Naruto wondered.
"It doesn't even look like your ship's going to survive entering its atmosphere." Green Lantern remarked. "Without a sun, it's going to be cold enough to freeze red hot metal in seconds."
"Well, let's hope my other self can convince Superman of that." Naruto gave the man an annoyed look that he turned away from.
"We have to try! Even if the chance is minuscule, there's still a chance that there are survivors! There's no way I'm leaving without saving them!" Superman insisted vehemently.
Naruto didn't say anything. To be honest, he knew he'd do the same if he were in Superman's shoes
He had always wanted to one day come to the Rao System and look for survivors. He had always hoped that maybe - just maybe - one of the colonies of Kryptonians located outside of Krypton had managed to survive somehow.
Superman knew they hadn't. The only kryptonians other than Kara that he'd met were Zod and Faora, neither of which were peaceful people. The rest of the survivors, if there were any, were probably scattered across the universe
But whereas at first, he had not had the technology to do that, after he got the means to travel in space he no longer had the leisure to do so. For example, less than 3 months ago, Imperium and his race had also tried to conquer the Earth and kill every living being on it, just like they had done to Mars a thousand Earth years ago. He was afraid of leaving the Earth unprotected for too long.
Martian Manhunter didn't show any visible reaction other than clenching his fists. Superman gave him a worried glance.
"I am fine." He told the Kryptonian who hesitantly nodded.
However, whether it was luck or fate, he was now in the Rao System. He would not miss the chance to save any survivors for anything in the world.
When he heard his words, Naruto looked at him amused.
"What can you do about it if I decided to leave though? You may have special powers on Earth but, in this system, you're just an ordinary man. You don't even have a suit to survive the temperature on that frozen planet or the lack of oxygen."
"You've got to consider those factors, Superman." Green Lantern chided the man. "No yellow sun, no ship, no special suit. You'll die the moment you enter the planet."
Superman didn't respond. He knew the man was right, but he hated the idea of just potentially leaving Kara to die.
Superman became silent. He realized his mistake. The masked person in front of him was not his subordinate to listen to his orders.
"Please, I need your help." he said and lowered his head.
To his surprise, the blond quickly agreed.
"Sure. I will help you. For 40 mass units of gold."
Kakashi laughed. "Nice one, Naruto."
Naruto grinned. "The other me sure knows his business."
"Forty mass units of gold!" Green Lantern screeched. "That's not business, that's robbery?"
"H-how much is that?" Superman asked faintly.
"It's about…." Green Lantern's ring glowed brighter as it ran conversions. "Four million dollars."
Superman glared at the blond boy who grinned sheepishly at him.
Superman's head shot up, his eyes wide.
"What?!"
Naruto chuckled at his reaction and the fox curled up in his lap chortled too.
"There is no free meal in this world, kid. You think people are going to work for you just because you said 'please'?"
"That's true." Kakashi said. "Even if he's a good person, he's in no condition to help you out of the kindness of his heart."
"Why not?" Superman asked him annoyedly.
"Because he still has to maintain his own lifestyle." Wonder Woman spoke. "Fuel, food, repairs, maintenance. And he's a bounty hunter. Every second he spends with you is a second he could have spent chasing after a profitable bounty, perhaps even cashed it in already."
"You might very well be my dream woman at this rate." Naruto said, surprising the woman. "You understand me so well."
Batman tried not to glare at the boy.
The Man of Steel looked as though he could still not fully grasp the current situation.
"I still can't." Superman shook his head. "I just cannot."
"...You want me to pay you in gold to save innocent people's lives?"
Naruto nodded.
"Naturally."
"It's just how our society is." Kakashi said.
"You need money to save lives?" Superman asked him incredulously.
"No, we won't even know people need saving if you don't tell us…after paying of course."
"So you're all mercenaries." Batman asked the man.
"Ehh, we're soldiers who do mercenary work for the village." Kakashi shrugged. "It's like that for every village in the world. It's how the system is."
"Sounds weird." Flash admitted.
"Different cultures, different standards. Yours would be just as strange to us." Naruto said.
"And you also better not forget that I freed you from the Preserver's cage and gave you a ride on my ship too - because that'll cost you another 30 mass units of gold. Normally, I should charge you for this detour trip to the Rao System as well but I decided to do this one thing out of the kindness of my heart. Take it as a bonus, on the house."
Superman made an incredulous face and Naruto almost started laughing out loud when he saw the small bulges in his cheeks, a sign of how hard he was clenching his teeth.
"I don't think I've ever seen you this angry before." Flash said to the Kryptonian.
"I think anyone would be angry when they're being extorted." Green Arrow said.
"Oi, oi. You're acting as if I'm robbing you now or something. I don't know what kind of environment you've grown up in but normal people in this Universe expect to be paid for their work. Of course, you can choose not to pay and I'll drop your sorry butt in space right now."
Superman could no longer hold back his anger. "I thought you were different! I was even feeling sorry for you, I thought that you were like me! But you're just a money-grubber, not that different from a highway robber!"
Naruto frowned. "Sorry for trying to earn a living."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Superman was quick to apologize.
"It's not me, Superman. It's fine. You're cool."
Naruto stood up from the pilot's seat and the easy-going mood around him suddenly disappeared.
"I'll never get over how quickly he flips moods sometimes." Kakashi commented.
"I could've ignored and left you to rot in that glass cage and be on my way. I had no reason to take you on my ship and give you a ride to Earth because I have no business there. But I do try to help people in need if it's not too bothersome. Still, this is this and that is that."
"It's a good thing." Wonder Woman said. "But gratitude won't keep him alive."
"I'm a mercenary, not a priest. I don't do charity. You think your words of gratitude will fill my stomach or buy new parts and cover the maintenance costs for my ship? Or maybe your gratitude will compensate me for potentially risking my life in an unknown place? Wake up to reality, boy."
Naruto blinked. What was that last line?
An uncomfortable silence for Superman was instilled after Naruto said those words.
"Now let's cut the crap. Are you going to pay, or not?"
Superman sighed in defeat. He understood that he could not force his lofty ideals on other living beings that were not even from Earth, much less on a mercenary.
Superman also looked defeated.
Furthermore, the man in front of him held all the cards at that moment. He and his beast were stronger than his current self and it was their ship too. Not to mention that, as Naruto said, in his current condition, Superman had no way of surviving on the surface of that dead planet alone. He did not have a suit to protect himself from Rao's red radiation, or from the extremely cold temperature or from the lack of oxygen.
If he wanted to save whoever had sent that distress signal, he depended on Naruto. Lastly. he also owed Naruto a debt of gratitude.
"I don't recall you asking Lobo for anything." The Kryptonian still grumbled unhappily.
"He owes me a favour." Naruto said. "When cashed in on at the right time, it can either save my life or mean even more money."
"That's because Lobo had a modicum of common sense to acknowledge by himself the debt he owed me. And yes, just one promise of his is more than enough guarantee. He's been a bounty hunter for decades and never once went back on his word or broke a contract. He may be a piece of shit but he does have his own standards too."
"It doesn't matter if people don't like you so long as they respect you." Naruto said at the same time as Wonder Woman.
"Fine, fine, you win!" The Kryptonian said in exasperation and then muttered to himself: "What do you even need gold for is beyond me..."
"It's not about what I need it for, it's about what I want it for." Naruto snickered.
Flash hung his head solemnly. "Deep thoughts with the deep."
"I don't know what that is, but I like it." Naruto grinned at the man.
Naruto sat back on the pilot's seat and steered the ship to enter the cracked planet's atmosphere.
"For transactions at an intergalactic level, what currency do you think that people use? With millions of planets and even more currencies, do you think money is of any use? Say you give me money from Earth, where am I going to use it?"
Naruto leaned forward. Economics was something Jiraiya had been surprisingly gung ho about. The man kept track of exchange rates, price hikes and crashes of every item on markets and calculated the profits from the sales of his books himself.
He'd gotten him hooked on it also, although he already had an edge in having had to learn to manage money in his earlier years so as not to spend the rest of the month penniless.
Everyone else looked interested in the topic as well.
From his words, Superman momentarily forgot how annoyed he was and became genuinely curious. He had never really asked himself that question before because he had never left the Earth until then for other reasons besides fighting against his enemies.
"You should try expanding your knowledge in other areas other than fighting, Superman." Naruro advised the man. "A powerful fool will only be tricked and exploited."
"I'll keep that in mind." Superman said. "He was a reporter and an accomplished one, but he had to admit he wasn't all that knowledgeable in many things. Growing up as a farmer's boy probably had something to do with it."
"Payments are made mostly with goods. Usually, it's stuff like advanced weaponry, spaceships, reactors or magical artefacts. But, depending on the planetary system and the position in the galaxy, gold, precious minerals, and other rare materials can be used as currency too. Hell, you can even pay with rare or powerful creatures or even slaves. Anything that the other party is interested in. Of course, money is used for transactions as well but only between planets belonging to the same intergalactic empire. Outside of those, money is worthless."
"So barter is still a thing in outer space?" Kakashi mused. "Interesting."
"Why would they accept stuff like gold though?" Green Arrow asked.
"Just because we have no value for the beyond cosmetics doesn't mean others will as well, Arrow." Batman said. "For them, it could be food, fuel, anything."
"What about credits?" Flash asked. "Didn't you say it was universally accepted?"
"Yeah, you can exchange it for other currencies or in many places, simply use it to make purchases."
"Like normal money?" Green Arrow asked.
"Not all currencies can be exchanged. Most aren't registered anywhere other than the main planet." Green Lantern said. "You can't take gordanian money to anywhere other than Karna. It's not even registered in most places and if you took it to Thagnar, you'd get arrested."
Naruto explained all that patiently, with a very light voice. It was as if their small argument from a few moments ago had never happened in the first place. He did not seem affected by it. Apparently, it had not been the first time, by far, that someone had tried to slither their way out of paying him what they owed.
"That happens a lot." Kakashi chuckled. Most ended up paying anyway. The ones who tried using more violent methods to avoid paying didn't live long enough to regret their decision.
"So I'm asking you for gold in consideration of your origins. I can't expect someone from a backwater planet like the Earth to pay me with a planet-destroyer cannon or a motherbox now, can I?" he said with a chuckle.
"I know Earth isn't as advanced as many places but come on, man." Flash groaned.
"Other me, Flash." Naruto said. "I'd never offend you knowingly, we're bros now."
"Bros!" Flash cheered.
Naruto landed the ship on an open space. It looked like a large plaza of a city. A ruined city covered in ice. The entire planet was covered in snow and ice. A sombre expression appeared on Superman's face when he looked at the scenery outside. Vaguely, he could recognize the architectural style of the buildings buried below the ice.
Superman stopped reading to look at the screen. It didn't matter how many times he'd gone back to Krypton, the sight of the ruins still hit him hard.
"Alright, I'm heading out." Naruto said with an energetic voice, not exactly fitting with the desolate scene in front of them. After all, they were basically in the middle of a giant graveyard. The burial ground of an entire civilisation.
"We can't all be grim." Naruto smiled. "Someone's got to lighten up the mood. Might as well be me."
"You almost always do it at the worst time." Kakashi pointed out. "You were joking about how Lord Third didn't want to die but The Shinigami was bigger than him."
"It was to make light of a bad situation."
"It was at his funeral."
"I had to cheer up Konohamaru."
"By making fun of his dead grandfather?"
"He laughed, didn't he?"
"...Yeah, he did."
"Then I don't see anything wrong." Naruto folded his arms smugly.
"You've got a…peculiar sense of humor." Wonder Woman remarked.
"Life's going to be bland if all we do is crack 'socially acceptable ' jokes that don't offend anyone, Wonder Woman. It's the offensive ones that are most funny."
She couldn't argue with that. One of her favourite pastimes was going through memes.
Before he opened the outside trap door of the spaceship, he said.
"Don't think about doing anything funny while I'm away. The moment anyone besides me tries to start the engines of the ship, this bracelet over here," He pointed at the white band around his wrist "- will teleport me back to the ship. It's an anti-theft system implemented on all the military ships of Almerac."
"We really have to get closer to the Almeracians." Green Lantern said. The technology those people were coming up with would be a huge boon to the lanterns.
"Not gonna lie, it caught me off-guard too when I stole this ship and... ahem. Anyway, I'm going. Be a good boy and stay put until I come back."
"Wait, you stole the ship." Superman asked loudly. "I'm stowing away on a stolen ship?"
"If we get caught, you'll be considered an accomplice." Naruto laughed. "We're actually going to be no-good criminals, just like you said."
"No!"
Superman was between laughing and crying, not really knowing how was he supposed to react. Indignant for being suspected of being a thief? Annoyed or amused at being treated like a naughty little kid? Or maybe worried that this guy stole a military ship from Almerac? He still remembered his encounter with the violent Queen of Almerac.
"I've met many weirdos in my life but this guy...I think he takes the cake. Phew, what a character!" Superman muttered.
"Hmm, I wouldn't say he takes the cake. I've met Mr Myxlplyx." Superman rubbed his chin. "But yeah, he's got his…unique features."
The masked blond man may not be weird on the same level of weirdness as someone like Lobo but he gave off a feeling of instability, making one feel on edge the whole time while interacting with him. Throughout the entire ride, Superman had been secretly anxious due to how whimsical Naruto seemed to be.
"You say it like I'm some kind of lunatic." Naruto frowned.
"No offense, Naruto." Superman said.
"Just because you say no offense doesn't mean I can't be offended. I'm offended."
Was he a bad guy? Well, not really, because he saved Superman's and Lobo's lives. Was he a good guy? Well, he had just admitted that he robbed Almerac of one of their military ships and he also demanded a crazy expensive fee for his services. That was not the behaviour of a morally-upstanding guy but the behaviour of a thief and an unscrupulous businessman. Superman couldn't get a proper read on his character.
'70 mass units of gold...where the hell am I gonna get so much gold from? I'll have to ask Batman for help once again.'
"I knew it." Batman sighed. "That's going to be four million and fifty thousand dollars."
"Wow, Batman you're rich." Naruto stared at the man. "Four million and fifty thousand? I'd probably have a heart attack if I spent that much at once."
Batman ignored Flash's laughter.
He could already imagine Batman's patented glare boring a hole in his head or Flash making lame jokes and poking fun at him. He palmed his forehead when he felt the beginning of a headache. But then, another thing came to his mind:
'Wait, how much is a mass unit?'
"It depends on the planet he's weighing it on." Green Lantern said. "Some have greater gravities than others. If you're lucky, he's going to one with less gravity."
Superman nodded resignedly. Batman would never let him live this down. Maybe he should listen to Lois and start accepting the offered rewards.
That was not how they calculated the weight on Earth. Clearly, it was an alien measuring unit. Was 1 mass unit equal to a pound? If that was the case then it was still ok. Somewhat. But what if 1 mass unit was equal to say - god forbid - one ton? At that thought, Superman's face became ugly to look at.
"Argh, what a scumbag!"
"That's rude, Superman." Kakashi said. "He's only trying to survive."
"I'm very sure forty mass units is more than enough to survive on, but he lifted it to seventy." Superman didn't let up.
"It's not his fault that you annoyed him into thinking forty mass units are rookie numbers."
…
It did not take long for Naruto to find out where the distress signal had been sent from. With a sweep of his Sage Mode senses, all life signatures in a radius of fifty miles were revealed.
Naruto raised an eyebrow. All? On a dead planet? How did he even gather energy for sage mode on a dead world?
A thought crossed his mind that filled him with excitement. Had his other self somehow managed to absorb and use energy from space itself?
All of them... better said would be that the only one. There was only one person still alive. As he walked through the ruins of the previously prosperous city, he let out a long sigh. Men, women, children, animals, vehicles, buildings, everything was buried into the eternal snow and ice.
Naruto sighed as did Superman. The latter because it was his world he was reading about, the former because he knew sensing corpses in sage mode wasn't a fun experience.
Nevertheless, he did not dally and continued walking towards the location of the life signature. Soon, he reached the ruins of what had been a rather impressive building. Upon entering, he noticed that the temperature was a bit higher than outside. He followed the still relatively intact staircase and went down to the underground floors of the building. It made sense that if anyone was living in this building, they would be living underground rather than on the higher floors.
"I can only imagine how strong your buildings had to be to survive a cataclysm of this level and still not give in to the elements." Tsunade said admiringly. She doubted there would be any remains of Konoha whatsoever if they encountered the same situation as Krypton.
"Yeah, it's something, alright." Flash agreed.
A few moments later, he reached a circular room that did not look too different from the control room of a spaceship. The moment he stepped in, a circle of light glowed on the floor and a rather blurry hologram appeared from the device in the middle of the room. It was the image of a tall but very beautiful blonde woman in her late thirties. She looked identical to a female human. Then, a sad but warm voice resounded in the cold room.
The mood turned gloomy as they watched the hologram.
"Aunt Kala." Superman muttered sorrowfully. He had never gotten to meet her himself but the memories of his father still stuck with him.
Naruto quickly fiddled with the translating device at his belt to understand what she was saying.
"I am Kala In-Ze. Chief position of Argo City. Five years ago Argo was a thriving vibrant world. But then, without warning, five years ago, our sister planet, Krypton, was destroyed in a giant chain of explosions. Krypton's destruction tore Argo from its orbit."
The room stayed silent as they listened to the woman talk. They knew what happened to Krypton but hearing it from the mouth of someone who had experienced it was different.
It looked like the transmission was recorded 5 years after Krypton's and Argo's destruction. As the blonde woman in the hologram spoke, one of the screens in the circular room started showing clips from when the planet was still in a pristine condition and then the following catastrophe.
"The resulting devastation destroyed most of our world and sent it moving slowly, inexorably away from our sun, leaving a few desperate survivors freezing to death. There was nothing my people could do but pray our distress signals would be answered. But now, I can wait no longer. I have taken a desperate last chance to save my surviving family."
Superman hung his head.
"To my knowledge, we are all that is left of Argo. Please, help us!" she said, tears streaming down her face. With that, the transmission ended and the hologram disappeared.
Nobody spoke.
Naruto stared at the screen, feeling numb all over. Superman had found his niece there meaning nobody came to help them. They were all dead. Had this been what his clan had experienced too? Calling for allies that wouldn't arrive and praying for divine intervention while they were getting butchered?
"I-" Superman tried to speak but choked. After a moment, he sniffled and blinked back tears. "I'm going to keep reading."
Naruto sighed apathetically. It was not that he was completely stone-hearted to their plight. He was just numb. Krypton and Argo were just two of the dozens of planets that had been destroyed during his lifetime. Probably even at that very moment, another planet exploded somewhere in the vast universe.
Naruto didn't say anything. It was exactly as he thought. All was inconsequential in the end. Life went on.
Going by his homeworld years, Naruto was 113 years old. He had travelled through the Universe for 97 years. Even so, he showed no more signs of growing old at all after he reached the age of 25. For all he knew, he was immortal, never to die of old age.
"Even for you, that's awfully long lived." Tsunade muttered, still not over what she'd seen.
"Yeah." Naruto admitted. He was sure he wouldn't even live to see seventy, given how many times he'd used Kurama's chakra before they bonded. If he remembered correctly, using it ate away at his lifespan and he was sure he'd lost years if not up to a decade of his life.
Travelling from one corner of the known Universe to the other and witnessing all the death and destruction around him made him understand better than most people the frailty of life.
And that, coupled with his apparent immortality, made him over the years slowly detach himself emotionally from his surroundings. Why love someone if they could get killed off just like that? Why make friends too - just so he could watch them grow old and die? Regardless, Naruto did not dwell on those depressing thoughts for long. His life was not all gloomy and dark. Because he had Kyuubi.
Kurama. It seemed like the tailed beast was, in the end, the only thing he would have with him.
"Eternal life should not be a reason to close your heart, Naruto." Wonder Woman spoke quietly. "They may grow old and die but we are able to immortalise them in our memories."
"But it'll only bring more grief." He argued.
"Perhaps, but it is that grief and the nostalgia that keeps you from falling into insanity or worse, apathy. It reminds you that you are still a person. When you fall into apathy, you no longer become immortal, you are simply an animated shell."
Maybe, but in the end, he didn't have any of that to worry about. He knew now that even after Gaara and Kakashi and Tsunade and everyone else died, there would still be one friend who would be with him till the end of time. Kurama. He would never be alone.
As though the fox knew his inner feelings, he moved closer on his right shoulder and snuggled into his neck. Naruto smiled behind his mask and brought his left hand to gently pat Kyuubi on the head. In this ever-changing world where planets and even entire star systems could unexpectedly perish in less than a day, there was one constant in his life, someone that would forever be at his side: Kurama. Through thick and thin, the two of them would always have each other's back.
Naruto chuckled. Kurama wouldn't like to watch any of this.
Walking towards the side of the room, he arrived in front of four life capsules. Three of them had been invaded by ice and the people inside had become frozen corpses. But in the last capsule, a person still lived. A thin girl with shoulder-length blonde hair was sleeping peacefully. She looked no older than sixteen. She appeared to be the daughter of the woman in the hologram.
"Kara." Superman whispered. Naruto looked at him curiously.
"Your cousin's name is Kara?"
"Yeah, she's alive here too." The man looked overjoyed. "She's alive."
It seemed his happiness was infections because it seemed to lift the greyness that had covered them all. Even Naruto couldn't help but smile with him.
"She's beautiful." He muttered.
Wonder Woman didn't know why she didn't like hearing him say that.
Superman liked it even less. "That's my cousin we're talking about, Naruto."
"I'm not interested in her, I'm just saying what I see." He raised his hands disarmingly.
"Looks like our trip here has not been in vain." Naruto said.
"Mhm. And now, that big oaf won't bitch about the money he owes you either." Kyuubi grumbled, making Naruto laugh.
Superman grumbled half heartedly. He didn't appreciate being called an oaf, but he had to admit he did come off as somewhat of one in the beginning.
A yellow-red light appeared around his hand, coating it up to the middle of his forearm.
Kakashi's eyes widened. What was he doing?!
Batman noticed the man's alarm and looked at Naruto suspiciously.
It was Yang chakra, unmatched in vitality. It was a chakra born mainly from his body's physical energy. He ripped the capsule's door open and his chakra-coated hand immediately touched the girl's head.
"What are you doing?!" Superman's head shot towards a surprised Naruto with his eyes glowing bright red.
"Hey, hey! I'm healing her!"
That seemed to calm the man down a bit. "You're healing her? How?"
"It's yang chakra." He explained. "Physical energy. To create. If I'm using it on her, it means I'm healing her."
Batman filed that away for later. Naruto also possessed the ability to heal through contact.
The Yang chakra engulfed her body and an expression of comfort appeared on the unconscious girl's face. Her pale-white cheeks quickly became ruddy as her blood's circulation increased and she even started to show signs of waking up.
"You really did heal her." Superman looked amazed. "She got better in seconds than she did in days."
"Yeah, yang chakra does that." Naruto shrugged. If he still had the sun seal, he was sure the girl wouldn't have woken up that moment feeling as spry as she had been when she got in the pod.
"Thank you." Superman shook his hand rapidly. "Thank you so much."
"Hey, it's fine." Naruto nodded. "It really is. Other me, Superman, other me."
He took the young girl in his arms in a princess carry and then the yellow-red chakra covered him and Kyuubi too. In the next moment, the three of them vanished from the underground room, leaving only a flicker of yellow-red light in their wake.
Possible teleportation. Another thing to add to the list. Batman could feel Kakashi's eyes on him but chose to focus on Naruto.
Superman closed the book. "That's the end of the chapter. I think we've got a lot to talk about so we'll gather again in an hour or two and continue. Batman, you're reading the next one."
"No." The caped crusader refused.
Superman was about to speak when the book flew out of his hand and latched onto Batman's cape.
The man glared at the shocked man of steel. "Apparently, I don't have much of a choice."
Won't lie, I don't think it's just a cliche thing that fairy tale sages always become hermits. I think that's a side effect of connecting with nature. You just become apathetic to anything that doesn't involve it.
Fun fact, Genghis Khan slowed down global warming because of how many people he killed. Due to how many places were sacked and people were killed, forests were able to regrow and absorb tons worth of carbon from the atmosphere.
You call Poison Ivy an eco terrorist, I call her an environmentalist. We are not the same. Jkjk.
13k words in two days. Man I'm putting in work