Three of my stories got banished to the shadow realm.
If you're not aware, I got paid to write a one-shot involving Sasuke and Kushina. Since I don't know how to work the HentaiFoundry site, I posted it here on for the commissioner to see and closed my eyes.
Naturally, I wasn't surprised when it wasn't all that well accepted but I didn't think about it. My payer's happy, I'm happy type shit. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of the pairing either and like some guy who did a copy and paste of one of my previous reviews just to talk about how the mighty has fallen for money, I'm sure some of you would have seen proof of that in one or more of the reviews I've posted and forgotten about.
I was even okay with the bad reviews. Shit, I used to flame pretty much every story I didn't like when I was new to the site, I probably even still did it recently and just can't remember so I'm not going to call people who gave it bad reviews.
What I didn't expect was someone actually reporting it to the admins so it'd get taken down. I don't understand the mindless hate you'd have for a pairing to go ahead and report a fic containing it and the immaturity you'd need to have to decide you'd rather see it gone than just ignore it and carry on with your life.
I initially put Naruto in the tags because he was in the story, just not as an active character and when one of my first reviews was pretty much saying I was clickbaiting people, I removed the tag and people still read it to hate on.
And I'm not going to listen to anything about how it went against guidelines because I wrote SMUT and it had been up since 2021 till now because someone got butthurt that it's not Naruto as the MC.
That's not even counting the admin's idiotic guidelines and their own mediocre methods of enforcing them. A guy posted a 'story' containing child porn links and it would have stayed up had multiple people not complained about it.
I don't understand the foolishness of adding a rating 'M' to your site, which is the fanfiction version of '18' and not expecting people to write sexual content. It comes with the rating and anyone who's been warned about sexual content in the summary of an 'M' rated story but reads it anyway only has themselves to blame. It's like catching your underage kid watching porn and deciding to sue the company rather than set boundaries for the kids. It's dumb, nothing more.
Some people write pedophilic content, beastiality, snuff and other debauched shit but their fics don't get taken down, and it's not because they rated it 'T' or they somehow managed to substitute every sexual word with an SFW equivalent.
Nah, they're still up because you rely on people reporting the stories they don't like meaning so long as nobody reports it, it's more or less cool to write whatever. It's that level of passiveness that makes you unfit for your role.
I swear some people get too worked up over fictional stories about fictional franchises that you get to read for free and can just ignore easily. Go to another page or just scroll down. It's that easy. I'd you don't like it, ignore it. Don't like, don't read. It's a simple rule.
Don't be the kind of immature bitch who goes into a story they don't like just so they can masochistically power through or skim through it in order to be able to put a bad review on it and if you're already that kind of person, I'm advising you to stop.
Maybe the admin's a bot, maybe I'm just unlucky, maybe I'm just angry for nothing and even if I am, I'm still angry and my words still stand.
And if whoever reported the story is seeing this, I hope your immaturity is as a result of your relatively young age, which isn't exactly a good thing considering that would still mean you were stupid enough to read an obvious smut story involving a clearly tagged character you dislike. But hey, you still have time to grow.
But if it's not, then you're either just an immature fool incapable of ignoring the things you don't like or you're one of
Why don't you go report this to the admin and fellate them a little while you're at it, maybe they'll like your technique enough to take this fic down too?
Anyways, I'll see to opening an account on another site and posting the taken down fics there. If anyone's still interested in seeing them, feel free to PM me or message me on AizenTheGoat's server. The invite code's: cswtVb6mzE
With that said, let's get to it.
The slightly wholesome moment was broken when Clark blinked. "Wait, why do you want him to watch it in my house?"
"Cause you're the only one who still has the disks and the player." Barry said.
"We could just stream it in the watchtower or something." The kryptonian retorted.
"Hmm, you're ri-"
"No." Batman shut the man down. "I'm sure people would be interested in knowing how and why someone's watching a cartoon from orbit."
"You just don't want to have to pay for the data plan." The speedster grumbled.
"There's always piracy." Oliver offered.
"Are you kidding? You're a billionaire, you could even have a movie delivered to you in blu ray before it even premiers in a cinema. What do you need to pirate movies for?" Hal asked the man disbelievingly.
Oliver shrugged. "You can never outgrow piracy. I only pay for movies and games when I can't find the pirated ones."
"And when they don't work as well as the paid version." Clark added, much to his cousin's surprise. When he saw the looks he was getting, he smiled sheepishly. "I downloaded a pirated game once and it crashed everytime I tried adding a DLC or mod to it. I was forced to pay the whole nineteen dollars."
"I can't believe you, of all people would do that." Diana snorted.
"Like you don't?" Clark gave her a dirty look.
"I don't need to, I get more or less everything for free. Endorsements and all. You know how it is." She smiled proudly.
"It beats having to spend data on streaming the same thing over and over and I'd hate to have to pay seventy dollars for a game that might turn out to be bad." Kara shrugged.
Hal sighed. "Criminals, the lot of you."
"It's somewhat ironic to see crimefighters admitting to committing a crime." Gaara remarked.
"Well, we're not exactly doing a crime…" Barry started slowly. "We're not the ones pirating it, we're just…supporting them. I mean, better piracy than gang activity, right?"
The heroes nodded, content in supporting the convoluted notion.
"It'd be a shame if they put down the keyboard and picked up guns." Kara agreed.
"Yeah, we could have stopped them if we wanted to, we have a walking supercomputer qon our team." Dinah nodded. "But you have to stop and ask yourself 'what would they do if they can't do the one thing keeping them busy and paid?'"
"Get jobs. Like normal people." Hal insisted. "You're just defending them because you get stuff from them for free."
"That's an unfortunate bonus, yes." Dinah shrugged.
"You are aware that if they don't make enough money, the companies handling the movies and games will have to cancel them or shut down entirely, right?" Batman asked.
"We are, but most people still pay…right?" Kara looked at Naruto for support.
"Unless your version piracy means intercepting ships to steal camera rolls, which nobody does to my knowledge, I can't help you." Naruto raised his arms.
"Piracy is more or less the same, you're stealing the files from the source to distribute for free." Oliver explained.
Naruto shook his head. "I don't know enough about it to judge, man."
"It's called piracy, they wouldn't name it after a crime if it was objectively good or bad." Tsunade rolled her eyes.
"Let's just go back to reading about you kicking ass, shall we?" Kakashi cut Naruto off before he could talk.
"You mean massacre another group of people?" Kara asked.
"If that's what you want to call it."
"Well he's obviously going up against the psions here." Hal sighed, his worry for the bounty hunter resurfacing. "He might seem like a badass, but even he can't fight an entire world."
"The book's still large." Dinah gestured towards the book that flew to J'onn's hands.
"Oh, so you think he single handedly wiped out an entire species?" Hal scoffed.
"It's not impossible." Clark shrugged. "We've taken on people capable of reducing a planet to an asteroid field."
"I still can't believe what kind of people you have in your dimension." Naruto muttered. "How do you fight people like that?"
"With prep time." Oliver glanced at Batman who rolled his eyes.
"Let it go, Oliver." The Dark Knight said. He knew the archer still felt insulted about not being considered worth making a contingency plan for.
"Didn't you fight a guy who split the moon in half?" Kakashi asked.
"Oh?" Diana raised an eyebrow. "Toneri I'm guessing?"
"Yeah. Hurt like hell though." Naruto subconsciously rubbed his arm that took most of the brunt of the technique. To this day, he still had no idea how to replicate it and even though they were relatively cool now, Toneri remained tight-lipped about it.
"Split the moon in half?" Oliver mouthed to Dinah who shrugged.
"You don't look like it left any effects on you though." Clark said, a little skeptical when he didn't find any scars on the boy's form. There wasn't even evidence of a lightning coated fist having been used to run him through.
"Yeah, stuff like that usually leaves people at least looking like they slept on an open furnace." Hal agreed.
Naruto shrugged. "If every damage that got dealt to me left a scar, I'd probably be skinless by now."
"Skinless?" Clark blinked.
"You don't want to know."
"It seems you've also got your fair share of absurdly powerful enemies." Diana remarked, feeling impressed. She'd seen many people capable of surviving an attack of that scale, but it was no less impressive.
"You have a guy who shoots lasers out of his eyes and people who can wreck planets. A moon's nothing."
"There's powerful and there's relatively powerful. Just because you don't have enemies quite as…destructive as ours, doesn't make them any weaker." Diana comforted him, neglecting to mention that Clark and Kara were among those people, just on the opposite side.
Kara joined in. " Yeah, besides, you still have that safe-"
"Sage."
"-sage mode. You tanked a moon splitter, just get stronger and you'll probably find yourself busting planets in time or something."
"I guess you're right." Naruto smiled at her.
"Hm. Come to think of it, what happened to your world after that? You know, with the tides and moon rotation and all." She asked.
"We put the moon back together."
Kara and Diana glanced at each other. Put it back together?
"I'm not even going to ask how." Hal sighed. As if a dimension filled with super powered ninjas and alien gods wasn't absurd enough.
"Yeah, me neither." Kara nodded to herself.
Naruto deflated slightly. He'd been hoping someone would ask. He looked at Diana who looked away for a few moments before she folded.
"How did you do it?" She asked.
He smiled at her brightly. "Since you're so curious, first w-"
"I think we should start reading now." Kakashi cut him off loudly.
He ignored his former student's stink eye in favor of taking a seat with Tsunade who chuckled. "Nice work with the intervention, Hatake. Couldn't have done it better myself."
"He tells it to everyone who makes the mistake of asking and for some reason, I'm always there to hear it. Needless to say, I'm more than tired already." He sighed.
"You do know he just does it to mess with you now, right?" She asked.
"I know. That's why I stopped him."
When everyone stopped talking, J'onn opened the book and the screen came down as he began to read.
Chapter 9 - Demonic God
"That's not foreboding at all." Barry joked.
"How many demonic gods do we know?" Clark asked Batman.
"Unless the specter counts, Trigon."
"Trigon? The titan girl's father?" Oliver asked and got a nod. "Well shit."
"Who's Trigon?" Naruto asked.
"He's a demon who's main motivation is conquest and destruction." Diana explained. "He operates by having a child in his target worlds to use as portals when they come of age."
"And when do they come of age?" Naruto asked.
"When they turn…seventeen…" Diana trailed off. "Batman, how old is Raven?"
"She'll be seventeen next year." He made a mental note to travel to Jump City for an actual meeting with the team.
As if having read his mind, Superman added. "Take Constantine with you. Or Dr. Fate."
His expression turned sour. "I'll take Zatara."
"We both know demons isn't his area of expertise." Clark retorted. "Now's not the time to let your own opinions get in the way."
"Oh great, another invasion." Barry sighed.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Clark assured the speedster.
"I'd rather that bridge not even exist at all."
"It's great that we're all ready for an invasion, but the real question is what's a demon going to be doing in outer space?" Hal asked. "You know, since it's like that's where most of this story's probably going to be taking place."
"Chances are it's not an actual demon god and you all just derailed off the topic for nothing." Tsunade stopped them from talking. "Besides, this is still just the title. Let's go to the actual story first."
As they quieted down, J'onn continued to read.
"What in the world...? Did I put in the wrong coordinates?" Naruto muttered to himself when he saw the desolate scenery outside, through the pilot cabin's window.
It was a scene extremely similar to the one that he had seen half a year ago when he went to the Rao System at the request of Superman and saved the young Argonian girl, Kara Zor-El: countless asteroids littered the space where the planet Tamaran should have been.
"Oh God…" Barry whispered.
The others remained silent, shocked and horrified by the fate that had befallen Starfire's world. At least Krypton was still a planet, Tamaran had been reduced to rocks.
"I figured the gordanians would go back to finish the job, but damn." Kakashi shook his head sadly.
"If you're sad, imagine how Starfire would feel when she finds out." Oliver said quietly.
"This is insane." Naruto said. "You've beaten them already, why destroy their world on top of it?"
"I wish I knew, Naruto. Nobody really knows why the gordanians and the citadel do what they do." Hal sniffed. "See? This is why the Thagnarians hate them so much. If they hadn't fought as hard as they did, this would be Thagnar too."
Clark suddenly felt guilty for berating Hawkman and Hawkgirl for going out of their way to kill every gordanian they saw.
"Computer, confirm our location," Naruto ordered.
At his request, the large screen of the computer showed a very detailed map of the milky way galaxy, a map that proceeded to be zoomed in rapidly. It took just a few seconds for the map to be zoomed in until only a planetary system was displayed on the screen: the vega System.
On it, an inverted green triangle was blinking above the planet Tamaran. But when he looked through the windows of the ship, Tamaran was nowhere to be seen. Countless chunks of rocks and a large amount of debris was all that was left of the previously flourishing planet.
Although Koriand'r did not understand the Almeracian language that Naruto used to interact with the AI of the ship, it did not take a genius to understand what was going on when she saw their location on the map of the Vega System and the mass of asteroids outside. Tears welled up in her eyes and she started crying bitterly.
"Can't say I want to know how she feels." Barry muttered pityingly. Losing her parents, her people and her entire planet. The girl literally had nothing left in life.
From someone who had had everything, Koriand'r had lost everything.
Initially, a princess of the royal family and the next in line to become the ruler of her planet, she was sold out by her own parents, at a very frail age, for the sake of the greater good - for 'peace'. She became a slave and she even lost her innocence when one of the Gordanian jailers raped her.
Diana's eyes widened in horror. "What?"
"It's like these gordanians find new ways to make themselves worse." Oliver scowled, feeling anger for the girl run through him. If he ever found a gordanian on Earth, he'd shoot it dead first and question it later.
Kakashi, on the other hand, wasn't as emotional. He'd seen things like that happen far too often to be affected by it anymore. It was an unfortunate consequence of being captured, especially as an attractive female as well as a reason most women didn't join the military.
"Why would they do something like that to her?" Kara shuddered. She didn't want to imagine losing her virginity to one of the same people who captured her.
"It's an effective, albeit brutal way to break a person's spirit." Naruto said somberly. "The ones with the strongest will move on, but they never forget. Those who aren't as strong don't find it as easy."
"And a broken spirit means a docile slave, a compliant captive or a loose lipped prisoner." Batman finished for him.
Naruto nodded. "It's sad, but that's life. Chances are, the guy just felt like doing it and since she technically belonged to them, well…best we can do is hope she got her pound of flesh or he's dead."
Diana nodded, but her anger didn't simmer down. Purity was one of the things most amazons valued. One of the worst fates that could befall an amazon was to be robbed of theirs by force.
She had murdered that Gordanian in revenge later on but the damage done to her was obviously not repaired. Instead, things only continued to spiral downwards from there. After killing her jailors and attempting to escape, the Gordanians thought of her as too dangerous and sold her to their allies, the Psion Monarchy. In the following years, she had endured all kinds of torture and experiments at the hands of the Psions.
"That's why they hired Naruto to find her. They want her back." Realization struck Hal.
"And they want to take him too along with her." Clark nodded. Whatever doubts anyone had about Naruto's meeting with the psions being a trap were gone.
"And if he does, he'll be springing whatever trap they've set for him." Tsunade sighed. Naruto was a brilliant tactician, but he was no strategist and what he needed here was the latter. He couldn't afford to make things up on the fly against people prepared to combat him specifically.
"I hope your other self has a plan, Naruto. And a very good one at that." Diana said worriedly.
"I hope so too, Diana." Naruto frowned. "Don't worry, the b-"
"The big book could just be covering your life on an experimenting table." Kara shot at him.
Naruto backed up a little. "I'm happy you're worried about me, Kara, but it's the other me, remember?"
She paused. "Yeah, sorry about that."
He nodded.
And now, even her homeworld had been destroyed. Koriand'r let herself down on her knees and sobbed in her hands.
Over the course of his long life, after witnessing the death of many worlds (including the apocalypse of his own) Naruto inadvertently became detached from the world around him.
He would enjoy the moment and have fun but he always kept other people and places at an arm-length, never letting anyone in his heart except for his life-long friend, Kyuubi. However, at that moment, hearing the girl's anguished cries cracked his heart.
"Do you understand pain a little now? If you don't share someone's pain, you can never understand them."
Even to this day, almost a century after his fateful battle against the leader of the Akatsuki, Uzumaki Nagato, Naruto could vividly remember every single moment of it, every single word of his former enemy.
Nagato was the one person that had marked him the most, even more than his mentor, the Toad Sage. Because the older Naruto grew, the more he realized the naivete of Jiraiya's dream and the harsh truth in Pain's words.
In spite of himself, Naruto nodded. As much as he wanted to believe the latter, Jiraiya's words were too idealistic and borderline delusional especially when coming from a man who'd fought in two great wars. There was no cycle of hatred to break and peace couldn't be attained by simply ending the cycle.
Madara and Pein's methods had unfortunately been the effective ones and they'd been proven right even if posthumously. It had taken everyone uniting against a common enemy and even then, they'd had to be strong armed into putting animosities aside to force peace.
And he wasn't so deluded to think there was still peace because everyone had forgotten everything they'd done to one another. The main reason they were still working together was fear. Fear of what could happen again if they reverted to the old ways and mostly, the fear of him.
Jiraiya's form of peace was a pipe dream. Peace through understanding could never be attained. Not while individuality still existed. With different thoughts would come different ideals and eventually, two or more would end up clashing.
Naruto lowered himself to Koriand'r's level and put his hand gently on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
Her situation hit very close to home for Naruto. He may have not had it as bad as Koriand'r - to be enslaved and raped by his captors - but, just like her, he had also been sacrificed by his own father for the sake of the village, for the greater good.
Betrayed by their family for the sake of peace. And just like her, he had also lost his homeworld. He understood all too well her pain. And that was why his passive attitude cracked when faced with her cries.
"Misery loves company." Oliver said humorlessly. "And nothing brings people together like shared misfortune."
Even though Oliver didn't mean it the way she thought, Diana twitched.
It was just a small show of compassion on Naruto's side but for the crying Koriand'r, it was the drop that spilt the glass. She lunged at him and her arms wrapped around his back tightly as she started to cry out loud in his chest.
"I have nothing left... nothing..." Koriand'r said through her tears.
What could he say to comfort the young woman desperately crying in his arms? That "things have to get worse before they can get better"? Or that she's at the lowest point in her life and that "from now on, things can only go up"? In his mind, such cheap lip-service was disgusting. He chose to stay silent, only offering her a shoulder to cry on.
Batman nodded. It reminded him of the times where people would comfort him with bland words after his parents' deaths, talking about how life only got better and the dawn came after the darkest night. In the end, life didn't get better for him. If anything, it only kept going downhill.
Even now, he couldn't say he was happy with his life. Batman was more than a suit of armor for him now, it was the lifeline that kept him from spiraling.
Naruto let out a drawn-out, despondent sigh.
'In this dog-eat-dog world, being weak is almost like a sin. But even if you're powerful, you can only guarantee your own survival... For all my power, I could never protect everything. On the grand scale of the Universe, one man is nothing. In front of a reality-bender god, even I would be in danger... Against the all-powerful force of the Void, in front of the Universe's power, I am but a speck of dust.'
"A rather pessimistic way of looking at life." Diana said.
"He's not exactly wrong." Oliver shrugged. "In the larger universe, We're not important enough for anything I do to matter."
"That's why we act within the field where we do matter. A shark doesn't go into a water of whales and expect not to be pushed around." Naruto said. "You can't expect to change the world when you can't even change the small place you find yourself in. It's why only the present matters, not the past or the future. It is what happens in the present that determines the future."
Diana smiled at him. "Wise words, Naruto. It's a little frightening how different from your other self you are sometimes."
"We're not exactly different, it's just our experiences that differ." Naruto said. "Chances are, if I was taken from my world in the exact same way and time he was, I'd have ended up like him too."
There were some groups and organisations like the Green Lantern Corps that tried to uphold peace and justice in the Universe but they were only minimally successful and their death toll was very high.
Despite their efforts, intergalactic wars still raged on, greedy dictators took over planets and enslaved their inhabitants and mad conquerors destroyed everything in their path. And that was only on a large scale, to say nothing about the countless conflicts that took place every day on every planet: armed conflicts, killings, kidnappings, physical and sexual abuse, torturing, human trafficking.
'I've fought against evil for decades, even after coming into this new world. But no matter what I did, it always came back. No matter how much I stepped on it, the darkness crawled back, like a cockroach.'
"Evil is like darkness. It's not an existence in itself, it is simply the absence of it's opposite." Naruto shrugged. "And the brightest lights-"
"Cast the darkest shadow." Oliver interrupted him. "Even though it was said in fiction, Martin's words still hold in real life."
"I'm pretty sure that was Jess Scott." Barry corrected him.
"Let's just say it's both."
'Yin and Yang, evil and good, darkness and light. Supposedly, for life to exist, there has to be a balance between these two opposing sides. But where is the light when I can see only darkness? Who is the light and what does it do to stop the ever-growing darkness? Where are all the benevolent gods that so many people worship and pray to?'
"Only a fool that relies on higher powers to save them." Batman said.
"We're not going to listen to you diss religion again, Bats. Remember that slugfest you had with Huntress after you said she was wasting her time with church?" Barry reminded the man who winced a bit. He'd won the fight, but not without a few scars to remind him of the event.
"Religion in itself isn't a mistake, it's the over-reliance on it that's wrong." Diana sighed. "We pray to gods too, but we won't ask them to do for us what we can do for ourselves."
"Tell that to some people." Oliver scoffed.
Naruto and Superman stayed quiet. The topic of religion was something they went out of their way to avoid getting involved in.
Naruto had no wild thoughts about him bearing the role of the light. He was but a tired old man...a lone man. He had been the so-called child of the prophecy but he had still failed at protecting his own homeworld.
If he could not protect his loved ones and his home, he had no illusions about being able to protect the Universe at large. His power may have grown by a lot but just like his powers, the strength of the enemy had increased just as much if not more.
'Fighting against the darkness is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. Darkness is ever-evolving, ever-spreading and indestructible.'
That was the conclusion that he had reached after more than 100 years of life. That the laws of the Universe made it so there would always be darkness. Darkness would never be destroyed for as long as sentient living beings existed. And this thought filled him with helplessness.
Over the years, it made him lose much of the drive that he used to have in his early teen years when he wanted to protect every innocent being, regardless of whether they were friends or strangers. The despair of knowing that no matter what he did, darkness would never be extinguished... it slowly made him become detached from the world around him.
Naruto rubbed his eyes. His other self was placing on himself burdens that weren't his to bear.
But there were moments like the present one when he came in contact with people whose pain he could relate to. People like Superman, people like Koriand'r. Those moments always shook his cold heart and perturbed his inner peace and calm.
…
"What are you going to do now, Naruto?" Kyuubi asked quietly.
After taking the sleeping Tamaranean princess to one of the rooms in the ship's living quarters, man and fox were now back in the control room, alone.
"I'm going to turn in Vandal Savage to the Psions first."
"Really?" Clark sighed tiredly.
"Yes, I know it's a trap. Yes, I'll be careful. No, my other self's not running away. Let's stop beating a dead horse." Naruto snapped irritability. Having everyone complain to him about the actions of his other self was beginning to grate on him.
"Yeesh." Kara muttered.
"You do realize that this bounty was most likely a highly-elaborated trap from the beginning, right?" Kyuubi asked again.
"Oh, I am betting on that," Naruto said darkly.
"He's out for blood." Oliver ooh'd.
Barry looked disturbed by that. "Come on, what if he just wants to get them arrested or something?"
"Let's be honest, Barry, he's going there to put the psions on a T-shirt." Hal shook her head.
"He's turning them to a chalk outline." Kara said.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're awfully enthusiastic to see death, especially considering you don't kill."
Kara shrugged. "It helps that they have it coming."
Clark didn't bother arguing with her.
From the moment that he saw that Tamaran was destroyed, he realized that Kyuubi's hunch about Rui Nak betraying them was right all along. As one of the top information brokers in the Milky Way galaxy, there was no way that Rui Nak did not know that Koriand's parents were dead or that Tamaran had been destroyed.
"That rat betrayed us," Kyuubi said. "Most likely, he was paid by the Psions to deliver us to him. I can totally see those crazed scientists wanting to dissect you and me to see what makes us tick and what gives us our power. And that scum of a rat even sold his wife and kids for money, to say nothing of his willingness to sell you."
"Yeah, it's kind of weird to trust a person who could sell his own family." Barry said.
"Having a mutual understanding doesn't mean trust." Batman said. "He worked with the rat because it provided him with work, the rat worked with him because he saw money from doing so. That's just business."
"Exactly." Naruto snapped his fingers.
Naruto nodded his head and added. "The bounty to save the princess of Tamaran was probably just to distract us and give more of a reason and make sure we entered one of the Psions' bases." Cold laughter came from him as he said: "But I will play their game. Hehe."
At his different-than-usual demeanor, Kyuubi jumped off Naruto's shoulder and then stood in front of him. He looked him in the eye and said meaningfully. "Are we going all out?"
"All out?" Clark blinked. "So that show on Earth wasn't you going all out?"
Naruto shrugged. "I don't know what else my other self has up his sleeves."
"I'm guessing that means you too?" Batman asked.
"If you took off your mask, I'd be happy to tell you." Naruto smiled.
"No."
"Then I guess we'll never know."
Naruto chuckled softly.
"You know me so well, Kurama."
As they were speaking, over a dozen space-warp tunnels appeared within 200 miles of their ship. The radar of the ship went crazy and alarms started blaring as multiple hostile targets appeared within its scope. From those space-warp tunnels, almost 40 frigate-class and even 8 galleon-class warships came out.
Clark gaped at the fleet. "That's even worse than the gordanians on Earth."
"You don't say." Dinah muttered.
"I hope whatever the Psions had bribed the rat with was worth trading his life for because I'll rip him to shreds after I am done here." Naruto growled.
Oliver shuddered. "That doesn't sound like you at all."
"Yeah, it's like you and Kurama decided to do a fusion dance and hop on a microphone. That sound's nightmare fuel, man." Barry said.
"Yeah, I get that a lot." Naruto nodded before the second part registered. "Wait, are you implying I can't sing?"
The speedster raised his hands. "No, it's just…your voice has this…hoarse tone in it, not the kind a person uses to sing."
"Pop Smoke had it too." Kara pointed out, much to Dinah displeasure.
"Pop Smoke used to rap and his voice's a lot deeper than Naruto's." Oliver said. "Imagine if Naruto decided to go down the same route."
"He'd sound like Pop Smoke's deformed cousin, Pop Steam." Kara snickered.
Naruto ignored Diana's laughter. "Oh fuck you."
It was not his normal voice, it was deeper and it sounded demonic. The nails of his fingers had turned into claws and if it had not been for his masking jutsu that made his hair look golden-yellow, it could have been seen that his hair had become blood red, compared to the regular strawberry-blonde from before. Under his mask, his canines grew into fangs as well and his already thick whisker-like marks became darker and deeper.
"Check his power level again, Barry!" Kara screamed.
Barry stared at the screen in mock amazement. "Is this…the power of a Super Saiyan God?"
"What the hell is a Super Saiyan?" Tsunade looked at Clark who shrugged.
"I don't know, I didn't watch the show." He said. "Ask Batman."
Batman glared at the Kryptonian before sighing. "They're a fictional race of aliens."
"I see." She nodded slowly.
A beeping sound was being made by the computer, showing an incoming transmission but a clawed finger pressed on a key to reject it. He did not need to hear what the incoming fleet of warships had to say to know their intentions - on the large screen of his computer, he could see the footage recorded by the AI: the ships that had appeared on their radar carried the emblems of the Psion Monarchy and the Gordanian Empire.
"They think they can trap and capture us like a beast? Come, Kurama. It's time we reminded the world what happens after provoking a slumbering beast."
The fox met the man's fist in a fist-bump and, as the two of them looked at each other, blood-thirsty grins crept on their faces. In the next moment, their silhouettes teleported out of the ship.
"Damn, I actually kind of feel sorry for the psions now." Oliver said.
"Tell me about it." Hal replied. That was the look of people looking to do nothing other than destroy.
…
Hundreds of ships were firing laser beams at an enormous monstrosity. A fission-type missile exploded against the torso of the beast and an enormous mushroom-like cloud of fire rose for tens of miles into the sky, even puncturing the stratosphere of the planet. A roar of pain came from the beast as a patch of its chest was burnt off.
"I knew you said Kurama could get even bigger than before, but this is unbelievable." A dumbstruck Kara stared at the screen.
"Whether or not you believe it does not make it any less factual." Everyone tensed momentarily as Kurama appeared on Naruto's legs.
"Oh, you finally decided to come back out?" Naruto smirked.
Kurama rolled his eyes and went over to lay on Diana's laps. "I couldn't bear to miss out on watching myself cutting loose."
"It's good to see you outside again." Diana smiled at the fox that nodded.
"This isn't right! This wasn't in our calculations! Our data was wrong!" a frail-looking green lizard-man yelled hysterically.
"This is nothing like the stimulations!" Oliver did an impression of a storm trooper.
They had not known that the tiny "pet" of the mercenary they wanted to capture would transform into a world-destroying behemoth.
That fission-type missile was the strongest weapon of mass destruction they could use without endangering the very core of the planet their race was living on. But that weapon that could lay waste to an entire nation had only scraped some skin off the beast's chest.
The one that looked like the commander of the lizard-men screamed. "Everyone, evacuate the planet! Prepare the star-destroyers and blow up everything to dust! Blow them all up along with the planet!"
"Hey, does anyone else think that's a bit too drastic?" Dinah asked.
"I don't think they have any other choice. If we got attacked by something that looked like a rabid fox ate a million mario mushrooms, we'd probably want to nuke Earth too." Oliver said, much to Kurama's offense.
"Rabid?" The tailed beast growled at him, exposing the set of daggers it called teeth.
"Uh, i-its a figure of speech, I'm not calling you that." The terrified archer stuttered out.
His adjutants could not help yelling out in disbelief. "But sir! Our home and everything we've worked so hard for will-"
The adjutant, however, did not finish speaking when the sky suddenly seemed to turn black. His words died out in his throat when an enormous sphere of purple-black energy cast a shadow over the capital city of the planet.
"What's that?" Clark gulped.
Naruto hissed. "Kurama's trademark, the bijuudama. They don't need to blow up their planet anymore, he'll do it for them."
"Is it really that powerful?" Kara asked, looking at Kurama who stared at the screen enviously. She knew the fox was far from weak, but she still didn't believe such destructive power could be packed into something this small.
"A normal sized bijuudama would normally lay waste to a great village. But one this size?" Naruto shook his head.
"Damn." And ninjas managed to trap and seal it in a baby? They were crazy as hell.
*BOOM*
A cataclysmic explosion boomed. A white light blinded every living being in range and the shockwave it generated deafened everyone a second later. The energy shield that should have been capable of defending even against a shot from a star-destroying particle cannon was obliterated.
"Oh God." Clark stared at the screen in awe as did everyone save for the grinning Kurama.
"What kind of person have you become, Naruto?" Kakashi said to himself. Not even Madara had been capable of destruction on such a scale. Was time really all a person needed to become like this?
Maybe it was. He'd witnessed firsthand how much Naruto grew in the space of just two years.
Even Batman couldn't contain his shock. He'd witnessed firsthand how much it took to destroy a star. If those shields hadn't been there, the city itself wouldn't have stood a chance.
He looked at the blond ninja and the fox on Diana's laps. Almost everything his other self could do, Naruto could do the same and knowing it was to a lesser degree didn't make him feel any less comfortable. The two were walking nukes, there was no other way to put it.
"Oppenheimer would have a heart attack if he saw that." Barry chuckled nervously.
Twenty galleon-type warships equipped with star-destroying cannons flew in front of the enormous beast. But despite the destructive might of their warships, everyone on board trembled at the sight of the colossal beast standing ahead of them. They have never seen anything as monstrous as that before.
Blood-red fur, over 1500 feet in height and over 2500 feet in length. At its back, 9 enormous tails created tornados just with simple twitches. It was a gargantuan 9-tailed demon fox.
"Kurama! Sea of Fire!" Naruto shouted.
He was on top of the enormous fox's head but he was so small that he could not be seen from outside. The fur of the beast's head was even taller than him. He was no bigger than a fly was on a regular fox. He sat on his knees, with both hands pressed down on the head of Kyuubi. A massive amount of chakra was being passed on from him to the demon below through his hands.
The titanic demon roared. A conic breath of fire covered the entire sky. Like the furious waves of an ocean, the stream of fire obliterated everything in its path. The several miles-long star-destroying warships were reduced to liquid metal in mere seconds. Flames hotter than the sun melted everything.
Hal grimaced. That sounded terrifying.
"That's even worse than Clark's heat vision, Naruto." Kara remarked. "I knew you two would be doing some epic shit, but this is some biblical level destruction."
"If it makes you feel better, I can't do that and unless he's been holding out on me, neither can Kurama." Naruto said.
The fox raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I make you breathe fire once?"
"Once."
It was hell. And in the middle of that hell, demonic laughter shook the skies.
"Wahaha! Die! Die!"
"It should be me, not him." Kurama lamented.
"I let you run free a few times." Naruto reminded the fox.
"Letting me kill criminals isn't the same." Kurama gave him the stink eye, ignoring the uncomfortable looks the heroes got from his words. "And I can't use a bijuudama to wipe out a gathering of rogue ninja now, can I?"
Naruto sighed. "Fair."
Kyuubi reveled in the feeling of power, in the slaughter. Power like he had never wielded back in the Elemental Nations. A power not any lower than that of the Ten Tailed Beast, a god.
Kurama hummed in thought as he left Diana's laps to stand on Naruto's shoulder. The ten tails had made quick work of him and all his siblings together. For his other to claim himself equal to that was a very bold claim. Or was that the result of Naruto's chakra empowering him too? "See, Naruto? This is why I insist on you training all the time."
Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Ten tails?" Diana asked. Kara, having already known what it was, didn't bother asking.
"I'll tell you about it later."
He did not have many opportunities to let loose like that. When Naruto had unsealed him from his body, he was in his 40s. It took Naruto nearly 3 decades of studying the art of Fuinjutsu before he became proficient and confident enough to undo the seal without killing himself in the process.
But after 40 years spent locked by the shinigami's seal, much of Kyuubi's chakra had seeped into Naruto, fusing with him - that was why Naruto's whisker marks were so thick and dark now by default and that was also why his golden blonde hair had become a strawberry-blond, almost red. Before unsealing Kyuubi, the man and bijuu had been very close to the point where they would completely fuse into one single entity
When Naruto finally unsealed him, the bijuu lost a part of himself in the process - in the present, Kyuubi could not regenerate his chakra like before, simply by drawing it in from the outside world. That's why he had become a glutton that could eat 24/7. He converted the physical energy from anything he ate into chakra. That was also why he took on the appearance of a tiny fox cub most of the time: to preserve his energy.
"That explains the gluttony." Barry said
Kurama frowned, not feeling as envious of his other self anymore. If his other self couldn't regenerate chakra anymore, that implied he was living on borrowed time. Tailed beasts were made of chakra, the only reason they never got weaker was because they regenerated chakra at the same rate that they expelled it.
Naruto, having thought the same thing spoke. "Don't worry, you don't have that to worry about."
"Hm."
But when Kyuubi actually let loose and put to use all the chakra that he had accumulated over many years, this was the result: a might far surpassing the original level of power given to him by his creator, Rikudo Sennin. Unlike before, there was no real limit to how much chakra he could store. Theoretically, with enough time and chakra, he could become invincible. He was no longer just a demonic fox. In the present, Kyuubi was like a god, a demonic fox god.
"So that's the reason for the title." Clark said. "And here we were worried about Trigon."
"Prepare one final attack. Destroy their planet," Naruto said.
"What?" Gaara spoke out. Never in his life did he think he'd hear something like that from Naruto's mouth.
"Do you know what you're asking him to do, Naruto? That's genocide!" Tsunade half yelled.
"You really think my other self would kill off a whole race if he didn't think it was the best option?" Naruto defended.
"For the love of God, there's never a good reason to commit genocide, Naruto." Clark groaned.
"If the psions are really as bad as Hal made them out to be, don't you think the universe would be better off without them?" Kara asked.
Diana nodded. As much as she valued life, she knew when it was time to get rid of someone.
His ruthless words would have shocked his younger self back in the Elemental Nations. But Naruto was no stranger to the atrocities that this race of degenerates had committed over their millions of years of existence. There was not a single innocent among them. When one wants to cut the weeds, they have to pull them from their roots. Complete annihilation.
Kyuubi's booming evil laughter subsided. He had never fully lost himself in his lust for carnage and slaughter. He had not forgotten even for a second that his current power was possible only because of the chakra that Naruto was pouring into him, a chakra that Naruto absorbed from Nature, on a planet even more polluted and infected than the Earth.
"Oh yeah, the sickness stuff." Barry recalled. "And you said you can't just expel it back into a polluted world, right?"
Naruto nodded, concerned for his other self. "Yea. Now I see why Kurama's worried. The amount of nature energy he'd have to take in to power up a planet destroying attack would be absurd and when you consider the pollution, it'd leave him severely incapacitated, if not kill him."
"And he's taking that risk." Kara said. "For what, payback?"
Kurama snorted. "In part. Another reason is his own altruism. He doesn't want it happening to anyone else. "
"I don't know why you don't like people associating you with it, it's a good quality to possess." Diana said. "I wouldn't side with anyone who doesn't have at least a little bit of an altruist in them."
"It's a real shame that I'm not in your world." Naruto said.
"Don't hold your breath on that." Barry spoke up from behind him.
"Are you sure, Naruto?" Kyuubi asked worriedly.
"Just do it!" Naruto said grimly. "I'm only acting as a conductor, not as the engine - I'm just pouring chakra into you instead of using it myself. The damage this infected natural energy does to me is not as bad as if I was the one to use it and cast jutsus."
Despite his words of reassurance, right at that moment, his mask cracked and dispersed into particles of light. His perfect chakra control was starting to slip up. His red hair came into view now that the mask no longer disguised it and the appearance of his face too. He was horrible to look at.
Had Kyuubi been able to see how Naruto looked at that moment, he would have stopped his rampage in a heartbeat: purple-black blood was flowing from a corner of his mouth, most of the skin on his face was a mixture of dark violet and black and he lost the sight in one of his eyes after half of his face had been petrified. It was a clear sign of nature-energy poisoning.
"Oh, that's nasty." Oliver shuddered with Dinah nodding in agreement.
Batman wondered if Poison Ivy suffered from something similar in Gotham. Maybe that was why she was so insistent on cleansing the city even if it meant destroying the things and people polluting it.
Tsunade stared at the screen worryingly. She knew it wasn't the same Naruto, but seeing him in the state he was in as well as knowing something similar could happen to him didn't make her feel any better.
"No wonder you're careful about where you use sage mode." Kakashi commented.
If he did not stop drawing on nature's energy very soon, at this rate, his entire body would turn into stone, becoming a statue just like the many other people before him who had lost control of their senjutsu.
Kyuubi did not have a wishy-washy nature. He was aware of the dangers Naruto faced the longer he kept using this infected natural energy. So he did not hesitate. Cupping his fists together, he slammed them against the ground with all the strength that his gigantic body was capable of.
A huge crack appeared in the ground, splitting the crust of the planet open for dozens of miles. Then, opening his enormous mouth wide-open, the largest bijuudama Kyuubi had ever cast slowly took form in front of him. It was even larger than his half a mile long body. At last, he fired it into the huge crack that he had made in the crust of the planet.
Despite how violent and powerful the following explosion was, it was not enough to destroy an entire planet by itself...but the chain of reactions that it produced made up for it. The aftershocks and the rest of the berserk chakra resulting from the tailed beast bomb's explosion reached the very core of the planet.
Only a few seconds later, terrible earthquakes shook the entire surface of the planet and volcanos started showing signs of erupting very soon, from everywhere. It was the end of the world. After a few hours, the planet was going to explode from within.
Nobody in the room spoke. As horrifying as it was, the pair's display of power was still a sight to behold as well as the sight of a planet being destroyed.
"I can't believe this happens exactly as you predicted it would." Naruto told Kara.
"What, with the tectonic plates?"
He nodded. "Yeah, it looks like one got broken. Earthquakes, eruptions and all."
"I think I'd rather get blown up than this." Barry muttered as he watched the planet come undone.
"What? Why?" Oliver asked.
"Think about it, Ollie. The people who survived the blast would have to spend the last moments of their lives unable to do anything except wait for the inevitable end via the environment. Imagine surviving an explosion just to suffocate in the resulting fire."
"Oh."
"It's like you two get capable of more and more destruction with each passing chapter." Diana noted, much to Naruto's amusement.
"Ninety years is a long time to get powerful." He said.
"True, it's still amazing though." She said.
"It's like mass murder runs in the family." Tsunade said under her breath, but it didn't escape Clark and Kara's notice.
"What do you mean by that?" Clark asked, instinctively alarmed by the thought of Kara being close to a homicidal man.
Tsunade scowled. "Of course, super hearing. Naruto's father single handedly wiped out a battalion of enemy ninja during the war he fought in and well, Naruto here…we're seeing it, aren't we?"
"Oh." He'd forgotten what came with the lifestyle the ninja led.
"So the father had a lot of kills, the son committed omnicide, what's the grandson going to do?" Dinah joked.
"Mass omnicide." Barry offered.
"That's great and all, but don't let this distract you from the fact that Saviour Naruto can kill all your enemies for you." Oliver put his hands together.
"Not this again." Naruto sighed.
"I mean, you committed omnicide, man. Some people fail at a simple genocide." The archer shrugged.
"Because they weren't powerful enough." Kara said.
"I'm sure Jews would be happy to know they only still exist because the Nazis had a skill issue."
"Make yourself tiny, Kurama. Quickly." Naruto said with difficulty because the petrification process was advancing further than before and even his mouth was starting to turn to stone.
In spite of knowing he'd survive, the people in the room couldn't help but worry for him.
The over 1500 feet tall and over 2500 feet long demonic fox god decreased in size at a very fast speed until it became no larger than a horse. Kyuubi had realized that Naruto was in a critical condition. He made himself small enough for Naruto to be able to teleport them both but also big enough for him to carry his wounded friend.
In a flash of yellow and red light, the two of them appeared 4 thousand miles away, in the exosphere of the planet, aboard their invisible ship.
"Naruto, you-"
The fox could not continue speaking. Except for his right eye, all of Naruto's face had turned into stone along with his left hand and leg. He was petrified in a kneeling position, bent over - the position he had had while pouring his chakra into Kyuubi.
Diana grimaced. "How much nature energy did your other self take in?"
"Too much." Naruto said. "Far too much."
Naruto weakly raised his still working hand and put it on Kyuubi's chest. His index finger drew invisible lines on his chest like he was writing.
"Don't worry... I'll be ok...?" Kyuubi read by imagining what the lines Naruto drew with his finger would be in kanji.
Naruto made a weak thumbs-up gesture and then proceeded to write again on the fox's chest.
"Call Lobo... return favour... rat bastard... warp ship... Earth."
Naruto once again made a thumbs-up gesture to show that Kyuubi got it right. After that, his only remaining eye closed. He lost consciousness.
"He's coming back to Earth then." Batman sighed.
"Don't worry, he's not in the right state to drain your funds anymore." Barry joked.
"Yeah, he's just near death now." Kara frowned.
While Naruto was unconscious, on the brink of death, and Kyuubi was fumbling with the computer of the ship to activate the space-warp, the rest of the Universe was in an uproar.
"Yeah, the entire Psion race got wiped out in one day. Of course people would go wild about it." Hal said.
The two of them had no idea about how far-reaching were the consequences of their outrageous display of power and ruthless violence. They were in every discussion of the upper echelons of all the powerful forces of the Galaxy.
The well-informed and powerful organizations in the entire known Universe were shocked because the Psions were one of the oldest races of the Universe, almost as old as the Guardians of the Green Lantern Corps who had created them.
No self-respecting interstellar power could claim that they had not heard of the Psions and their cruel dominion over the lawless Vega System. However, such an old, powerful, and technologically-advanced race had been massacred to the last individual in the span of a day.
In the Vega System, the Gordanian Empire's ruling body was in a panic. Their allies and masters, the Psions, possessed far superior technology and means of destruction and/or defence. But they had been eradicated in only one day! Hundreds of thousands of Gordanians evacuated Karna planet in the following weeks, running for their lives.
"It doesn't matter where they run, the Thagnarians won't rest till they're all wiped out." Batman said.
"I'd say it's long overdue, especially with what they've done to the planets they attacked." Kara folded her arms.
"True that." Naruto nodded. "I'm just worried about what's going to happen to my other self. Attention of that level isn't always a good thing."
"I wouldn't put it past Mongul to try getting his hands on you." Clark said.
"Mongul?" Gaara asked.
"He rules a moving planet called warworld and captures people to fight as gladiators on his planet. He had me in his custody for a long while before I got free." Clark explained.
"Ah."
In contrast to the Gordanians, billions of other people in the Vega System were celebrating the day of liberation. The Psions who had taken over the entire system were no more. Countless people came out in the streets and celebrated together, regardless of race or nationality when the news of Psions' massacre came out.
On Thanagar, the members of the Ruling Council of the Thanagrians were having difficult to contain smiles on their faces. For generations, they had been at war against the Gordanians and, as of late, they were even starting to get pushed back by the flying lizard-men.
Although the Gordanians had not been destroyed along with the Psions, the Thanagrians were very happy with the outcome. Without the Psions' technology to support them from the back, the Gordanian Empire's defeat was only a matter of time.
On Earth, John Stewart had a look of disbelief on his face when Salaak, the administrator of the Green Lantern Corps sent him (and the rest of the Green Lanterns too) a shocking report. "The Psions of the Vega System have been massacred. An intergalactic mercenary, Uzumaki Naruto, also known as 'Caterpillar' and his companion, Kyuubi, a demon, have destroyed the Psions' planet and the 6 moons that they had colonized. The Guardians have classified the two of them as Universal-level threats. All Green Lanterns in possession of more information about these two subjects are to report to Oa immediately."
On New Genesis and Apokolips, Highfather and Darkseid, the rulers of the two factions of the New Gods were both frowning, though because of different reasons.
The Vega System was a place that even Darkseid had not attempted to conquer until then because he recognized the threat that the Psions' technology posed. Darkseid did not like the sudden apparition of such a wild and violent dark horse - one that annihilated an entire race in one day. New Genesis and the Justice League were annoying enough as it was; he did not like the thought of such a dangerous variable popping up in his plans of world domination.
"Oh shit." Naruto muttered. Of course he had a literal god on his ass now.
"Join the club." Superman grumbled with Diana, Kara and J'onn agreeing.
As for Highfather, he went into a deep mediation, trying to make contact with the Source. He was worried about such a powerful character being evil. His adopted son, Orion, the most valiant warrior of the gods from New Genesis was getting ready to leave their world and make contact with the dangerous mercenary and his beast, to ascertain their intentions and thoughts.
On the planet Almerac, a beautiful red-haired woman shot up from her throne, her face betraying the shock she was feeling. She was Maxima, the Queen of Almerac.
"Look, Superman. Your ride or die." Oliver snickered.
"This is who you beat and refused to marry?" Naruto gaped at the woman on the screen. "What's wrong with you?!"
"Forgive me for not wanting to marry someone just because I can beat them." Clark defended himself.
"If she really wanted a husband on Earth, she should have showed up in the '50s." Hal grinned.
Dinah shook her head. Apparently, Steve wasn't wrong about domestic abuse being an important part of America's history. "I'm glad I didn't."
"It's not like you have anything to be afraid of, you could tell your husband you won't cook or clean and he wouldn't do a thing." Dinah said.
"When Wonder Woman refuses to cook and clean, she beats her husband." Barry joked.
"Wonder Woman kisses the groom." Batman smirked.
"Wonder Woman's husband isn't allowed to vote." Dinah joined in.
"When they can't seem to have a child, Wonder Woman is advised to marry another husband." Kara snickered.
Diana rolled her eyes.
"I've got no problem with anything other than the first and last." Naruto whispered to Kurama who snorted.
"Of course you don't."
A series of contrasting emotions flashed in her eyes: at first anger, then infatuation, and then anger again. She had met the mercenary and his fox a few years before.
"Oh yeah, you stole her ship." Clark reminded the blond.
"Other me. And don't make it sound so bad, tha ship saved you and Kara."
"Thanks for that by the way." Kara said.
"What about me? I gave him the idea to go to Argo." Clark deadpanned.
"..Thanks, Naruto." Kara repeated.
Infatuated with how powerful he was, she had tried to kidnap him and make him her husband by force. But not only that he rejected her, he even stole one of their most advanced stealth-oriented warships before escaping from the planet.
"Oh so that's how you got to Almerac." Clark snickered.
"Apparently so." Naruto sighed. This Maxima seemed like Shizuka, but turned up to the maximum.
"Is it even possible to get turned on from having your vehicle stolen?" Oliver stroked his chin in thought.
"If Stockholm syndrome's a thing, it's safe to assume you just haven't seen it happen." Dinah replied.
She had not heard anything about him for years but when she finally heard some news about him again, it was about him annihilating a race as powerful as the Psions... Her infatuation levels skyrocketed.
Flushed with excitement and desire and with her previous anger nearly forgotten, she immediately ordered her subordinates to search for more information about his whereabouts. She was definitely going to hunt him down and make him her husband
Dinah teasingly nudged Naruto. "It looks like you'll be having another Shizuka on your hands."
"But crazier." Kakashi smiled. Yamato had told him about Naruto's encounter with the N adeshiko kunouchi.
"It's like every woman who comes after you themselves tries to get you through violence." Tsunade chuckled humorlessly.
"Maybe he looks like a sub or something." Oliver mused.
"If you stare at him any harder, I'll assume you're checking him out." Dinah said.
Oliver took his eyes away from the blond. "You know I wasn't!"
"I'd much rather be in charge, but hey, if the lady's attractive enough, older or physically stronger than I am, I'm cool with being under." Naruto shrugged.
Diana raised an eyebrow. Did he say that with her in mind.
Kara hummed. "I am technically in my forties now."
The Amazon scowled.
Lastly, a Yellow Power Ring took flight from Qward, in the Anti-Matter universe. Its destination was precise: the Earth, in the Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy. Target: Kyuubi, the Nine-Tailed Demonic Fox God.
"Of course the sinestro corps would come for him." Hal sighed. The fox was now easily one of the most feared beings in the universe after that display of power.
"Yellow power ring?" Naruto asked.
"It's similar to what I have. Each corp has their own ring but each colour signifies a different emotion. They usually search out and pick whoever fits their requirement, so you can't really choose which one you want." Hal explained.
"What's green for, envy?" Naruto smiled teasingly.
"I hate that stereotype and no, it doesn't mean envy. Green's the colour of willpower. Red means anger, blue means hope, violet means love and so on."
Naruto hummed. "What about orange if there's one?"
"Greed."
He scowled. "That's not right, what about bravery or something? Why does it have to be greed?"
Hal snorted amusedly. "Take it up with Larfleeze or something and bravery's not an emotion."
"And willpower is?"
"What about yellow?" Kakashi asked before a debate could start.
"It signifies fear." Kurama grinned widely at that, purposely contorting his face to appear as frightful as possible.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd like that."
"Don't be too happy, the yellow lantern ring usually programs the minds of the wearers to obey the corps leader's will." Hal told the fox.
"I simply will not get programmed. I'm not like the rest of you fleshbags."
"Sure you aren't." Hal chuckled. "Let's keep reading."
"There's nothing more. The chapter has ended." J'onn said.
"Oh."
Everyone promptly got off their seats and went around to talk.
"Well, that's one hell of an ass kicking he gave them." Oliver sent Barry a mocking smile that made the speedster roll his eyes.
"Hmm, why is it kicking ass and not punching ass?" Kakashi asked. "Most acts of violence are done with the hands, aren't they?"
"... I've never really thought of it that way before." Barry paused.
"Well," Oliver started. "When you think of it, punching usually means striking with the first, right?"
"Right." The silver haired man nodded.
"But when you punch people in the ass, it's weird. Because of all places to punch, why'd you go for the ass? Why were you looking at the ass in the first place?"
"True, true."
"Not to mention, another meaning of punching means to put a hole into something like a ticket or paper. When you're punching in that way, you're putting a hole into someone's ass. And that's just weird. But even then, everyone's ass already has a hole. An asshole. And what happens when you try punching a hole into an already existing hole? You go into it."
He spread his arms. "And then, you're not punching a hole into someone's ass, you're punching into someone's asshole. So when you tell someone you punch ass and they take it another way, they're not going to think 'this guy stabs people in the ass' or 'this guy's a huge anal fan', they'll think 'this guy fucks dudes!'. With that said, when you say you punch ass, either interpretation is just weird so we just stick to saying we kick ass. Besides, kicking ass sounds more badass."
"Hmm, you have a point." Kakashi nodded.
Everyone stared at the two men weirdly.
"I worry about you too sometimes, Oliver." Barry shook his head.