Hey hey, people. Issex here.
The single life has proven to be unbearable and so, I'm searching for a relationship with a girl on the internet who I'll probably never meet in real life. If you're interested, hit me up and if you're planning on catfishing me, you better do a good job with it or my next paycheck might come from the lawsuit I'll file against you for fraud and emotional damages.
If you're interested in joining a discord server filled with fanfiction enthusiasts who'll be happy to help you with starting, continuing or finding stories, I have two for you. Well, I have more than two but I don't have permission to promote the others.
The first is MADB's Overseers. It's a new server and as such, it's not as populated as many others. If you're interested in joining a growing community as well as having the privilege of being able to call yourself a…server OG in the future, feel free to join.
The link is: PR7SEEF5U
Another is AizenTheGoat's discord server. It's constantly active, it's fun and we do a little trolling but it's got lots of helpful fellows like yours truly. Shout-out AizenTheGoat. It's coming soon, bro. Believe.
The link to AizenTheGoat's discord server is: HZHwJ7tcH
PS: I take commissions too. You can check my bio to know more or send me a PM. I must warn you though, FF doesn't send email notifications so I might not see your message until I decide to check my inbox.
Onward to the story.
"You know," Diana heard Naruto say as he draped himself over her and shivered a little when she felt his hair tickle her ear. "I saved you twice and you didn't give me any credit. Is the third time the charm?"
"I assure you, there won't be a third time," Diana retorted.
Naruto grinned. "Wanna bet?"
"I don't gamble." Diana turned him down quickly. "Besides, I have nothing to wager. It might come as a surprise to you, but there are no pockets on my armor."
"It's nothing serious, honest," Naruto persuaded. "How about this? If I save you one more time, I get to call you princess whenever I want. Just that."
Diana narrowed her eyes. "And it's the other way round?"
Naruto shrugged. "I don't know, what do you want?"
Diana hummed contemplatively. "I'll let you know when I win."
"I think you meant to say if you win."
"No, when." Diana stood up, lifting the blond with her. "And when I win, you're going to regret betting against me."
Unbothered by their height difference being emphasized by his dangling legs, Naruto said, "if you're trying to make me feel bad like this, you're doing it wrong. I like tall women."
Diana commended herself for not flushing again. "Is there anything you don't like?"
"Nothing you have, that's for sure." Naruto tightened his arms around her. "So? Do we have an agreement?"
Diana nodded. "I'll make sure to think of something humiliating to make you do, something to make up for all the nonsense you've been spouting since."
"You just call it that 'cause you don't know how to respond," came Naruto's knowing reply. "But hang around me long enough and eventually, you'll be the one doing the flustering…wow, you're really strong. Are you even feeling my weight?"
"You weigh almost nothing to me," Diana shrugged to prove her point.
"Huh," Naruto idly swung his legs in the air.
"Now that I think of it, how is your hair so soft?" Diana rubbed a bit of hair in between two fingers. "Do you put something in it?"
"Genes." Naruto smiled.
"You better thank your parents then," she said. "Some of my sisters would butcher a dozen men to have hair like yours."
"...thanks?" Naruto's smile was strained. "Seriously, how did that Steve guy get off your island alive if you're all so kill-happy?"
"I vouched for him and left the island with him," Diana confessed. "I'm sure if it wasn't for me, my sisters would have simply caught up to him and killed him after he left the island."
"That's fair," Naruto nodded. "Is it strange that a part of me still wants to see your island?"
"That only makes one of us," Diana refused. "At best, my sisters will be extremely unpleasant with you. At worst, they will ignore me and attack you on sight."
"I'm used to that," Naruto said. "But I'm curious how the nadeshiko and amazons would act to each other if they ever met."
"They'd probably get along," Diana nodded. "The only real bone of contention between them would be the marriage thing with the nadeshiko women."
"With how you described them, I think most men would travel to your island just to fight," Naruto chuckled.
"I'm sure you'd do that too, wouldn't you?" Diana snorted.
"You're the only one I need."
"Don't you sleep around?"
Naruto shook his head. "No, I just have friends I have an…arrangement with. They know one another too."
"So you're polygamous?" Diana asked.
"I'm not dating any of them," Naruto said defensively. "We're just really close friends who fuck each other."
Diana knew it was a thing, many of her sisters had a similar arrangement, but she could never bring herself to approve of it, much less do the same.
"That still means you're accustomed to seeing multiple women at once," she insisted. "You wouldn't be able to enter a relationship with one without pursuing another and a hunter who chases after two rats will catch neither."
"You really don't like polygamy, do you?"
"I don't have any issue with it," Diana clarified. "I just don't like the thought of sharing my lover with someone else. Would you like it if one of the women you lay with told you they were about to marry another man?"
Naruto thought about it. In all honesty, it'd suck but he'd get over it fast and he'd rather stay single and celibate than sleep with anyone behind their spouse's back. He'd been ignored for long enough in his life to willingly be hidden like an unhealthy treat to be indulged in secretly.
"I see where you're coming from," he admitted.
"Exactly. It's not about it being another woman, I-"
"If you two are done with whatever piggyback courting ritual you've got going on, can you please get back here so we can continue?" Kara called out to them.
Secretly grateful for Kara cutting the woman short, Naruto dropped off Diana's shoulders. "We should probably continue this later."
"I agree." Diana glared at the Kryptonian. "We'll talk later."
Kara tried to look ignorant as the irritated amazon walked past her and when the woman was seated, she looked at Naruto and whispered, "I'd been listening. Shit was getting way too deep, huh?"
"You don't say," Naruto sighed. "I owe you one."
"She's got a point though, I wouldn't want to share either." Kara shrugged. "I mean, I probably could…but it'd take a lot of getting used to, you know. I'd have to like the girl too. Like, a lot. I mean enough that I'd be okay with going down on her too and all, you kn-"
"I get it." Naruto stopped her. "I don't really blame her, the gods she's been looking up to aren't exactly examples of happy relationships."
"Yeah," Kara nodded slowly. "You're still going to talk with her about this stuff?"
"It's not like I can dodge it forever." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Who's reading next?"
"The book reached Gaara a while ago," Kara pointed at the redhead who looked to be talking with J'onn. The two seemed content with the company of the other since they hadn't bothered meeting anyone else since.
"Alright then," Naruto sighed. "Thanks again, Kara."
"Yeah…don't mention it." She patted him on the shoulder.
…
"Glad you could join us again," Oliver greeted the blond when he sat. "I know you can't relate to us plebeians, Naruto, but you don't have to huddle up with Diana everytime we take a break."
Naruto flashed the archer his middle finger, but refused to offer a verbal response. Eventually, everyone had settled down and Gaara opened the book. The screen came down and lit up as he began to read.
Chapter 16 - Justice League Unlimited
"We have no limits." Oliver did a rather accurate impression of Batman's voice.
His hands were coated in a cyan light and with beads of sweat appearing on his forehead, Naruto focused on speeding up Wonder Woman's recovery. Even so, he could not help letting his eyes roam over her face. Long and silky-looking raven-black locks of hair, unblemished pale-white skin, a pair of supple eyebrows, a cute and small nose, symmetrical and defined cheekbones, an oval face and a pair of luscious, plush and naturally-red lips...Naruto felt his pulse speed up when he looked at her.
Diana found the workmanship of her bracelets very interesting. From there, she went on to admire the craftsmanship of whoever made her sandals. Anything to keep her mind away from the man's description of her.
"Somebody get him something to drink," Barry sniggered.
"The thirst." Oliver fistbumped the speedster. "The thirst is real."
"Want a sprite cranberry?" Kara teasingly nudged the blond beside her. "It's the third thirstiest time of the year."
"None of you get to judge me-I'm sure you'd all be doing the exact same thing if you were in my place," Naruto shot back at them.
'No doubt, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.'
"And that's a fact," Naruto said to Diana who smiled.
Feeling his chakra flow slipping out of his control, he closed his eyes and shook his head to dispel the distracting effect that her flawless beauty had on him. Resolutely, he refused to look at her face anymore and chose instead to keep his eyes locked on his hands or else he would not be able to maintain his Mystic Palm technique. But that proved to be no good either because after 2 minutes he got bored and his eyes unwittingly jumped to what could be seen beyond his hovering hands.
Kara blinked. "You got bored? How do you get bored of healing someone?"
Tsunade shrugged. "It happens. I often get bored halfway through a surgery and my mind ends up going somewhere else while my hands do the work."
"So there's a chance that the guy operating on you might have zoned out and probably won't realize he's fucked your shit up till you're squirting out blood?" Oliver chuckled. "Shit, the hippocratic oath needs a few more rules written in."
"You wouldn't even be allowed to become one if you had the attention span of a goldfish," Tsunade pointed out. "But surgeries can last hours without any breaks in between and I'm sure you've heard things, but surgeries aren't fun. You're either bored out of your mind or desperately trying to keep someone alive. There's hardly much of an in-between."
"Try being in forensics," Barry grumbled. "You could spend weeks doing nothing but scan fingerprints or find DNA matches. It's boring as hell."
"I'm more concerned with where Naruto's hands are," Kakashi grinned at his student. "You've been making me proud since the beginning, Naruto. I always knew you had it in you."
"He's probably just making sure that punch didn't give her a heart attack or something." Even Naruto knew that was a weak defence.
"Whatever you tell yourself," Kakashi replied skeptically.
'H-Huge!' was the only thing he could think about.
Kakashi hummed. "What was that you were saying about cardiac arrest?"
Naruto sighed.
Before he could stop himself, his cyan-chakra coated hands lowered and lightly pressed against the large mounds of flesh below. The soft but springy sensation coming from his palms when he touched her peaks was like a small electric shock for his body. But it lasted only for a second because he quickly lifted his hands up and turned his head away, closing his eyes tightly. When he opened his eyes, however, he noticed - to his horror - that the giant fox pressing his huge head against the window of the ship had seen everything that he had done.
Diana raised a brow. "How…forward of you, Naruto."
Clark fashioned a phone with his fingers "Hello? Is this the police?"
"Groping a lady while she's asleep. That's completely normal and not creepy at all." Hal shook his head.
"That's not groping!" Naruto glared at the lantern.
"Tell that to the feds, pervert." Clark said.
"I don't know, man." Kara puckered her lips. "I'm sure all of us have wondered what they feel like. If any of you got the chance, would you stop at gently touching them?"
Diana gave the girl a flat look. "I'm still here."
"And?" Kara asked. "It doesn't change anything, the others just won't want to admit it out loud. Me personally? I'd be squeezing your boobs like a stress ball."
Clark now understood why only Barbara hung out with Kara. She must have scared off every other girl and the fact that the redhead stuck around after getting close to her made him afraid of what Batman's female protege was like underneath her polite persona.
Diana rubbed her head and tried to pretend she hadn't heard what the blonde said to her. How in the world was she supposed to react to that?
'It's over. Ah, I wanna die. Kurama will never let me live it down.'
He was not allowed the luxury to even wallow in his own inner misery and prepare his heart for the aftermath because at that moment, a strangely sensual voice - in his distorted point of view - came from the woman lying below.
"Nng, why were you touching my chest?"
"Sounds like someone enjoyed it," Dinah teased the amazon who once again, looked in a random direction.
"Maybe she's a closet somnophiliac?" Kakashi offered.
"I think it only works if she went around molesting people in their sleep," Barry argued.
Naruto froze, even the chakra flow to his hands halted and the Mystic Palm technique stopped. Three infinitely long seconds passed, with Naruto just staring at her stupidly, momentarily not knowing what to say.
He dressed his voice awkwardly. "I was, uh, healing you."
"Future you is a terrible liar," Hal said.
"But it's the truth." Naruto pointed at said man on the screen whose hands were slowly but steadily losing their green glow.
"He just stopped to do a little side quest." Kara nodded to herself.
A sound between a scoff and a chuckle came from the fox outside the ship.
"That's not how the Mystic Palm Technique works. You don't need direct contact. You just wanted to feel up her big milkers and-"
"I'm not sure how I feel about having my breasts described as such," Diana glanced down at her chest. "They're not that big, are they?"
"The only pair larger than yours are hers," Kara pointed at Tsunade who glared at her before touching her own chest. "You should be happy, I want bigger boobs. My own clone had larger tits than me!"
"Oof," Naruto whispered.
"It's not about the size, it's just…you're talking about them so vulgarly." This time, Diana went red again. She'd gotten used to Kara's antics already, but it still got to her.
"You sure she's really your cousin?" Oliver asked Clark who hung his head despondently.
Where had they gone wrong?
"Kurama, you shut your trap!" Naruto hollered.
Understanding what was going on, a hue of pink appeared in Diana's normally pale cheeks.
"I am exhausted and far from being in my best state. It was an accident!"
Kyuubi returned to a smaller size and rushed back inside the ship very quickly, not wanting to miss out on even 1 second of fun.
"So you switched from 'I was healing her' to 'it was an accident'? Bwahahaha!" he mock-imitated Naruto's voice and then barked with laughter.
You can't lie to me, son. Naruto fought the urge to groan out loud as Kurama's voice rang in his head, the tailed beast's grin obvious from his tone alone.
I'm. Not. Your. Son.
As if they could read each other's mind, in the next moment, a human-sized fox and a man lunged at each other at the same time.
It was a full-on brawl.
The two of them started rolling on the ground and clobbering each other with punches, trying to strangle the other with their hands or tails and even trying to bite each other in a mess of tails and limbs while Diana and Justice Lord Superman watched them with a blank look on their faces.
"Yeah, it's a bad feeling watching the guy who schooled you rough-housing with a plushie sized fox," Hal commented. "I'm sure he's wondering how he lost to him."
"Because he forgot to put on his winning smile, yeah!" Kara looked around. "Eh? Eh?"
Naruto shook his head. "No."
"You just don't know good humor."
Normally, these kind of brawls ended up with Naruto getting the upper hand due to his superior hand to hand combat skills but this time it was a completely different story. Huffing and breathing out heavily, Naruto was eventually thrown flat-faced on the floor, sprawled on his stomach, while the human-sized nine-tailed fox plopped himself heavily with his butt on his back.
"And he lost too," Oliver lamented. "Yeah, Dark Clark's ego's definitely taking heavy blows."
Clark blinked. "Dark Clark?"
"He's right." Barry agreed with his friend. "This guy wears darker clothes and has a darker attitude.
"How about…Negative Clark?" Hal suggested.
"Nega Clark…" Kara repeated the name a few times. "That sounds cool, I'm not going to lie."
Triumphant laughter came from the fox:
"Wahahah! I win! Now say it! Say it!"
"Piece of shit!" Naruto cursed under his breath.
At his words, Kyuubi's size increased, suddenly becoming 400 pounds heavier.
"And he gets mad when someone calls him heavy," Kakashi chuckled.
"Exactly. You're fat, Kurama," Naruto said to his stomach. "You're fat. An eldritchly obese abomina-ow, shit!"
Diana couldn't help the amused giggle that left her lips when Naruto doubled over in pain. Whatever Kurama had done to him, it must have hurt a lot.
"I give! I give up!" Naruto cried out breathlessly.
"Then say it!" Kyuubi said with a gloating voice.
"Kurama...sama."
"Oh no!" Naruto wailed. "Nooo!"
Oliver rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, we've all had to say uncle to get out from under some fatass in middle school."
"Those ones won't remember that for eternity and hang it over your head till you die!"
"I didn't get bullied," Clark looked smug. "Nobody got the chance."
"Yeah, probably cause they got tired of wondering why hitting you hurt them and just decided it wasn't worth it," Hal said. "It's a good thing though, I'm pretty sure we'd have had a Brightburn instead of a Superman if you'd been bullied."
Clark blinked. "A what?"
"Alien kid, powers like ours, turned evil, brutally murdered a bunch of people." Kara gave a skeleton summary. "It's an okay watch, it's just one of those movies that use the whole 'evil Superman' premise."
"I don't understand, what is this obsession movie makers have with the possibility of me being evil?" Clark asked. "You want to know what would happen if I was evil? Earth would either be under me or it wouldn't exist. That's what would happen."
"Woah, slow down now," Oliver raised his hands. "We can still fight you."
"Barry could probably kill eighty percent of the world's population just by running into them in under ten seconds," Batman said. "Clark is almost as fast as him and when you take into account his abilities, he probably doesn't even need speed. He could simply snipe us with his heat vision from space."
"Oh…" Dinah paused. "Hey, have I ever told you how glad I am that you're on our side, Clark?"
"No, but I'm glad too." Clark smiled at the woman.
Kyuubi's size increased once again and Naruto started tapping on the floor with his hand like the loser tapping out in a wrestling match.
"Argh! Gerroff me you fat fuck, you're gonna crush my spine!"
I should grow heavier just for that, son, Kurama growled. If you hadn't acknowledged that I'm your better, I'm sure my other self would have done just that.
The huge fox brought a hand to one of his large, rabbit-like ears and sing-sang:
"I can't heeeaaar youuu!"
"Kurama-SAMA!"
When Naruto finally yelled those words, an expression as if he had just attained nirvana and ascended to heaven appeared on Kyuubi's face.
"I came." Oliver whispered.
"Shut up." Dinah slapped his arm.
Brawling against each other without using any kind of ability or chakra-reinforcement technique was almost like a tradition for Naruto and Kyuubi. They only used their physical strength and Kyuubi adopted a size similar to Naruto. Whoever lost had to call the winner 'master' and obey his commands for a week. It was how they solved their issues and let out some steam.
"Definitely making you take him on a feeding frenzy," Diana shook her head.
"Since we're still on Earth…" Naruto looked at the heroes or to be more specific, Batman.
The caped crusader caught on fast. "No."
"I saved your lives-you owe me."
"We cashed in a favour, we owe you nothing."
"Why are you so stingy? You're a billionaire for crying out loud."
"Talk to him." Oliver nodded.
Clark looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "You're the last person to say that, Oliver. When was the last time you funded anything we did?"
"I pay for the food we get whenever we hang out."
"...I don't like you."
Usually, it ended either in a tie or with Kyuubi outright losing because Naruto's physical strength was not any lower than his while his fighting IQ was leagues beyond that of the bijuu. Kyuubi could count on the claws of one paw the number of times he had won against Naruto over the past almost 10 years. It went without saying how frustrating that was. This time, however, by taking advantage of Naruto's weakness, the fox won. His elation was beyond words.
"Next time, try not to fight while half the blood's going to the wrong head," Kara advised.
"I don't even want to think of what you'd be like if you were a guy." Naruto shuddered.
"She'd probably have more kids than a rabbit by now," Hal snickered. "She'd be slinging dick to anything in a skirt. She'd have knocked up Barbara three times by now."
"Hey, I'm not that bad," Kara defended herself. "It's easier to get laid as a girl and I still haven't gotten any yet."
"Because of your parents," Kakashi said.
"And she probably weirds out every guy who shows up to try their luck." Oliver added. "Half the shit I've heard you say even before we got here would make you sound like a giant red flag with the words 'aspiring sex offender' on the body."
"Fuck you, I'm the greenest flag there ever was!"
Justice Lord Superman was lying completely still on the floor with a seal painted on his forehead and Diana was similarly sitting on the floor while watching in stupefaction how the giant fox was crushing a screaming Naruto under the weight of his massive butt - that was the scene on which the Justice League and the other dimension Batman stumbled upon when they finally found the Javelin.
Witnessing the huge fox tormenting Naruto, an incredulous voice came from the other dimension Batman:
"That is the guy that crushed the Justice Lords?"
"Yes, that's the guy who crushed you." Naruto grinned.
"Crushed them like HR Pickens," Dinah clenched her fist.
"All that's left is to marry that Diana, fill her belly with his festering seed and birth a son as his final revenge against them," Oliver said, unmindful of Dinah's sputtering.
"He married Pickens' granddaughter. If there's anyone he'd be marrying as revenge, it'd have to be me." Kara pointed to herself.
Diana scowled.
⁂
"Haa~ I'm so tired!" Naruto complained, now needing to sit and rest in his wheelchair for real. "I was still recovering but I was forced to use so much energy to fight the Justice Lords and then to heal both Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman. Ah, whatever shall I do? Only ramen can save me now. At least 49 bowls of it."
Naruto sighed tiredly. "Saving people is hard work, especially for a convalescent."
A soft hand grabbed him by one ear and twisted it slightly, enough to make him uncomfortable but not enough to cause him pain. He heard Diana's threatening voice coming from behind. "Don't think that playing the victim will make me forget what you did."
"Yes, you molested me in my sleep," Diana accused him.
"And he doesn't regret it," Kara said.
"I'm a sick man, Diana, you can't handle me like that," Naruto cried. "Where are the doctors? Granny, tell her to stop!"
Tsunad shrugged uncaringly. "It's not like anything I say will change a thing."
Naruto suddenly stopped his whining and became as silent as a grave making both Diana and the fox on his shoulder giggle at his meek reaction. Deciding to figuratively pour salt on the open wound, Kyuubi said:
"Listen up, slave. Lightning Rasengan. Now."
Your gluttony will be the end of you,
False, Kurama said.
Naruto burst with indignation:
"You asshole, I'm seriously weak now! I can't expend more chakra! Rasengans are too hard to make when I'm like this!" he yelled at him.
Kyuubi laughed uncaringly.
"For all I know, you could be faking it again. You pretended you needed a wheelchair for almost a week when you could walk around just fine. So gimme my lightning Rasengan now! Remember, you're my slave for a week. You don't wanna go back on your word, do you? Unless you want me to start talking about stuff? I'm sure that certain people would love to hear more about it."
"Blackmail," Barry said.
"He did say Naruto's his slave for a week. You should have tried harder, Naruto." Kara patted the blond on his shoulder. "But don't listen, I want to hear what Kurama has to say."
"No you don't," Naruto refused. Kurama had been with him since infancy and consequently, knew every single embarrassing moment he'd had to date.
He didn't want to think of what kind of dirt the fox had on him after an additional century.
Naruto did not need to have eyes in the back of his head to feel that Diana who was standing behind his wheelchair suddenly made a very interested face at Kyuubi's words. He ground his teeth in unwillingness but he raised his hand in defeat. A spiralling sphere of blue energy took shape in his palm and yellow arcs of lightning started to dance on its surface once he added lightning nature chakra to it too.
Not waiting for an invitation, the tiny fox stuck out his small tongue and licked at the sphere of lightning chakra. An electric current coursed through him and the crimson red fur all over his body stood straight like needles but Kyuubi let out an excited sound of delight and started taking small but quick bites off the lightning Rasengan. He had travelled the Universe from one corner to the other alongside Naruto and he had eaten countless types of dishes and the raw meat of countless creatures. However, nothing had ever come close to tasting as good to Kyuubi as Naruto's chakra. It was the ultimate delicacy.
"I'm sure it warms your heart to know you'd be the best meal he'd ever have if Kurama chose to eat you alone one day," Hal said.
"It doesn't," Naruto replied. "It doesn't warm my heart at all. I've been swallowed enough times already."
"Really?" Barry asked. "You've been eaten alive before?"
"More than once even. I'll tell you later."
From behind, Diana was giggling silently to herself as she watched the interactions between the two of them. She was especially amused at how the fox cub's previously fluffy nine tails looked like a hacksaw now but he still continued to eat the electrifying treat with gusto.
The other members of the Justice League that were in the Javelin were looking curiously at them, especially at Wonder Woman who was acting completely different compared to how angry and frustrated she had been a few hours before.
"Nothing like a good night of impromptu sleep and a passionate groping to get your spirits up," Kara joked.
"Since when did she become so chummy with the two of them?" Flash asked Green Lantern and Hawkgirl who were sitting next to him.
"Something must've happened while we were captured. But the fox liked her from the beginning so I'm not that surprised. What I'm surprised about is the mercenary allowing the princess to pull on his ear like that and not saying anything back." Hawkgirl replied.
"You let a lot of things slide when it's your crush doing them to you," Oliver nodded.
"Tell me about it." Hal agreed. "I once let a girl I liked back in high school talk me into doing a dance in exchange for her showing me her tits."
"Did she?"
"No."
"Damn, you did that for nothing," Kara said. "I'm sure that memory comes back to you at 1 in the morning while you're trying to sleep."
"That's the worst part, it does," Hal complained.
"If only the Guardians could see now who they classified as Universal-level threats..." Green Lantern trailed off, making Flash and Hawkgirl laugh.
Meanwhile, Superman and Martian Manhunter were standing close to Batman who was piloting the Javelin. Currently, they were heading back to the Watchtower.
"Can't say I'm not happy how easily we got rid of the Justice Lords. I expected a lot more struggle." Superman said.
"It looks like the mercenary really is a man of his word. He returned the favour he owed us without us asking him to do it." Martian Manhunter said and glanced back the masked Naruto who was sitting in his wheelchair and feeding Kyuubi a ball of lightning energy.
"That's me," Naruto said proudly. "I'm a man of my word."
"Unless you promise not to commit a crime," Diana reminded him of the past chapter.
"I didn't know it was wrong."
Superman nodded in agreement.
"True. And he helped Hawkgirl recover as well. By all means, she was in a hospital before that." (1)
After Naruto had confirmed that the Justice League was fine, he let go of Justice Lord Superman and freed him from the effect of his painful fuinjutsu. Then, the other dimension Batman took the rest of the Justice Lords and left, going back to their dimension. Now, the Justice League together with Naruto and Kyuubi were returning to the Watchtower.
"What's on your mind, Batman?" Superman asked when he saw him being silent.
"Wonder Woman looks different from earlier today so I'm thinking that-" he said.
"Oho, are you perhaps jealous?" Superman cut in and joked.
"He had his chance," Diana folded her arms.
"And you blew it, Bats. Gargantuan fumble." Oliver looked disappointed as did Barry and Hal. Batman stared at them quietly, his expression unreadable.
"Hey, I'm not complaining," Naruto slung an arm over Diana's shoulder, getting the amazon to smile a little.
The only answer he got was a blank stare. The Gotham vigilante was not impressed.
"Right, who am I kidding. There's no space for human emotions in that broody heart of yours." the Man of Steel said.
"Other me," Clark quickly said upon seeing Batman fix his stare on him. "But seriously, I've never seen you with any woman before."
Dinah scoffed. "Are you joking? He and Catwoman have been dancing around each other for years now."
Kara nodded. "Yeah, Barbara told me he fucks the shit out of Catwoman everywhere. They've had this on and off thing going on between them for a long time now."
"How am I always the last person to know these thing?" Clark looked at Batman. " You're supposed to tell me! We're brothers."
"I don't ask you about your relationship with Lois Lane, do I?" Batman asked.
"Well no, but-" Clark gave up. He and Bruce needed to talk after this.
"I was thinking that it's time we started our plans. Now that Wonder Woman seems to be back to normal, all 7 of us can finally make decisions together." Batman continued in his usual tone.
The Justice League did not have a ruler per se. They were a team and everyone's opinion held equal value in the eyes of the others when it came to making important decisions. Because of Wonder Woman's previous emotional instability and absent-minded behaviour, the 6 of them had been putting off their plans for the past 3 weeks - the plans of expanding the Justice League. That was a very important matter and they had not wanted to leave Wonder Woman out of it.
"But you did," Diana smiled humorlessly. "And look where it got you."
"You got knocked out pretty easily too, I don't think you being there would have changed much." Kara pointed out.
⁂
A few days later, all 7 members of the Justice League were gathered together in the Watchtower. They were sitting at a table, except for Superman who was standing on his feet.
"Since we all agree that the Justice League has to expand, we need to understand the consequences of that. First of all, the United Nations will not like it, not one bit. We can expect that among the heroes that we recruit, there could also be moles from the government or from the United Nations too. Because of that, we need to be certain that we can trust each other. With everything."
Realizing what Superman's words alluded to, Flash said a bit flustered:
"Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys but I'm not sure I'm ready to expose myself yet."
"You sound like you're being asked to streak," Hal chuckled.
"You do realize that Batman and Superman already know everyone's identities, right? Probably J'onn knows it too. Moreover, the princess and I don't have a secret identity and Hawkgirl can't exactly disguise herself with her wings either." Green Lantern said.
While they were talking, Batman was the first to take the initiative and pulled off his mask.
"I'm Bruce Wayne."
The heroes were unphased, having already known one another's identities, but the ninjas were a different case.
"Bruce…Wayne?" Naruto repeated.
"Yeah. Billionaire playboy, Son of Gotham, heir to the Wayne fortune…" Oliver recited the titles Bruce Wayne had amassed over the years.
"The glazing is crazy." Kara shook her head. "For real." Oliver flipped her the bird.
"I'm not going to lie, this reveal feels…underwhelming." Tsunade admitted. "I wasn't expecting something like an alien underneath the cowl but….you know, you look pretty normal. You're good looking, very much so, but you're still normal."
Batman shrugged. He was irritated with being exposed so casually, but the gig was up. They'd have probably found out eventually anyway. He took off his cowl, revealing the same black hair and blue eyes on the screen. "I get that a lot."
"So the only person who's face we haven't seen is…" everyone looked at Kakashi who looked to have his mind somewhere else.
The feeling of being stared at made the man return to the present only to see all eyes on him. "What? Why's everyone looking at me?"
"It's the season of revealing," Kara said. "Mask off, man."
"Haven't I already said what I look like?" Kakashi raised a brow. "I told you I'm a handsome man."
"Not good enough, man. Take it off!"
Barry smirked and in the next instant, appeared beside Kakashi. His hand was a blur as it shot towards the man's mask, a finger hooking the and yanking it down. "Ha…what the hell?"
"It's another mask?!" Oliver shrieked.
Kakashi merely smiled as Barry went back to his seat grumbling and everyone complained about his trust issues.
"You really wear two masks?" Tsunade whispered to him.
"The funny thing is if he'd taken down the second one, he'd have seen my face," Kakashi replied. He'd keep a genjutsu up now, just to be sure.
Superman also took a pair of round glasses from somewhere and put them on his eyes.
"I'm Clark Kent."
"Your disguise is glasses?" Naruto asked.
"I wear baggy clothes to hide my frame and slouch too," Clark replied. "You'll be surprised by how easily it is to go under the radar when people don't even have a reason to suspect you might be someone."
"But…how?"
"Charlie Chaplin got twentieth place in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest," Batman said. "Clark is right."
"Show off!" Flash mumbled and sagged his shoulders when he heard who exactly Batman was. "I'm Wally West," he said and took off his mask too.
"Oh, Wally's The Flash here." Barry had seen many worlds where Wally took his place. Apparently, this was one too.
"Red hair. It suits you!" Wonder Woman who sat next to him said with a smile and playfully rubbed the top of his head.
Naruto idly wondered if Diana liked redheads.
Flash perked up at her words.
"You think?" he asked in a voice that betrayed how happy he felt at her compliment.
Everyone knew who Green Lantern was - John Stewart - and that was the same for Martian Manhunter and Wonder Woman. The three of them had never made an attempt at hiding their identities. Everyone turned to look at Hawkgirl who was the only one who had not taken off her mask. She was looking down, as though she was thinking intensely about something.
"Before I tell you who I really am, I ask you to please listen and not interrupt me until the end."
Noticing her unusual seriousness, the others piped down and focused their attention on her. Hawkgirl took off her bird mask and said:
"My name is Shayera Hol. I am a lieutenant and an espionage instructor in the Thanagrian Intergalactic Army."
Despite her request to not be interrupted, John Stewart cried out:
"You mean to say that you are a spy?!"
Kara hummed. "More like a spy teacher."
"It takes a master spy to teach a spy," Naruto said.
Similarly, Superman and Wonder Woman stood up and looked at her with serious eyes.
"Care to explain what exactly do you mean by that?" Green Lantern pressed on.
Hawkgirl continued without flinching back at his reaction.
"As a Green Lantern, you should know about the intergalactic war between the Thanagarian and Gordanian Empires. It's been going on for generations. Everywhere the Gordanians pass by, they leave only death and destruction in their wake. They kill everyone that opposes them and enslave and sell the ones that surrender. The Thanagarians are the only thing that stops them from taking over the entire galaxy. The reason why Earth, which is so close, at only 25 light-years away from the Vega Star System, had not been invaded by the Gordanians yet, is the Thanagarian fleet holding them back."
"I ain't listening to all that." Kara shook her head.
"I'm happy for her though," Barry joined in.
"Or sorry that happened." Oliver grinned. "W-"
Gaara silenced them with a glare. He'd nearly lost his breath giving that long-winded speech and by the gods, they were going to appreciate it.
Green Lantern calmed down at her words and stood silent, listening to what she had to say.
Gaara paused upon seeing the next paragraph. Was this a punishment?
"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, concerned for his friend.
"Nothing," Gaara sighed and took in a deep breath.
"However, over the past few decades, the Gordanians' incursions have grown fiercer and their technology advanced in leaps and bounds due to the increasingly growing support of their old allies, the Psions. As of late, we started to lose ground. We predicted that the Earth would soon be faced with their invasion. Coming here, my mission was to ascertain the planet's defences and become familiar with the natives' culture and customs in order for the Thanagarian Army to more easily establish a military base here and halt the Gordanians' advance. To prevent the Earth from being destroyed."
"So they were going to use you as a satellite outpost for their own conflict?" Kakashi asked.
"They've been fighting them for centuries," Batman said. "If they feared Earth could be a target, it's likely that it would be. But they should have come to warn us rather than try doing their own thing under our noses."
"It feels counterproductive." Tsunade criticized the woman's speech. "Should an invasion occur, humans wouldn't be able to tell between ally and enemy, at least at first. By the time they figured out which was a friend, there'd have already been losses."
"I guess we'll never know though." Kara gestured for Gaara to read before anyone else could speak again.
A silence that one could hear a pin drop was instilled in the conference room of the Watchtower.
"You spoke of your mission using the past. Did something change or am I reading too much into it?" the ever perceptive Batman asked.
Hawkgirl confirmed his thoughts:
"Two days ago, I received a transmission from my commander. My orders have changed. I am to return to Thanagar. I did not know how to break the news to you because they were so sudden but now it looked like the perfect opportunity."
When her words finally sank in, multiple issues dawned on the others.
"You have to leave?! Then...what about us?" Green Lantern asked.
Green Lantern and Hawkgirl had never spoken outright about their relationship with the rest of the Justice League but the others were not clueless. They had long since discovered the growing affection between the two of them. They were not surprised by his question.
Shayera Hol made a conflicted expression and sighed.
"I am military. I cannot ignore the orders I have been given. You were a soldier too, John, you should know that."
"The job comes first." Kakashi agreed.
Martian Manhunter spoke from the side:
"Then what about Earth? Have the Thanagarians given up on our planet and left us to fend for ourselves? We can't possibly stop an Intergalactic Empire's army alone."
The problem brought forth by the Martian alarmed the others too.
"That's not the case anymore. The mercenary Caterpillar annihilated the Psion race. Furthermore, the Gordanians have still not recovered from the shock of losing their allies like that. Our intel says that over the past 3 weeks that passed since the Psions' destruction, almost 1 million Gordanians have run away from their planet, Karna, terrified at the possibility of the mercenary coming to kill them too. The number of Gordanians deserting the army is increasing on a daily basis too. Currently, the Gordanians' ranks are in disarray. The Thanagarian army has already started winning battles on multiple fronts. Without the backing of the Psions and with the Gordanians shivering in their boots in fear of Caterpillar's retribution, they can no longer hold their own against our troops. Their defeat is only a matter of time. We will finally win this war."
Kara squinted. "Someone explain this in YouTube terms."
Oliver stroked his beard. "Raid Shadow Legends went bankrupt and stopped sponsoring videos."
"Talk about a butterfly effect." Everyone looked at Naruto who shrugged.
"Like I said, the gordanians were done for since the psions got wiped out," Hal said.
The other 6 in the room were once more reminded of just who was the one living with them in the Watchtower. Watching the easy-going attitude of the mercenary as he bantered with his fox every day, they almost forgot how the two of them had destroyed a planet and how many beings they had killed only 3 weeks ago. Hawkgirl's words reminded them how terrifying the alien mercenary and his planet-busting fox were - terrifying enough to even influence the course of a generation-long war between two Intergalactic Empires.
"When I came to this planet, my intention was to just keep a professional distance from everyone. After all, despite the Thanagarians' good intentions, I was still a spy. I could never be here with you forever. I knew that when the time came, both I and the people I got close to would suffer. I knew that I will have to leave you behind someday...but I could not help becoming close to you."
As she spoke those words her voice became shaky. However, she was a tough woman and she did not cry.
"Seeing as I will not be able to continue living on Earth due to my orders, I should not take part in deciding the Justice League's future course of events. In fact, I will be leaving for Thanagar today. I have already packed all my belongings."
Saying that, she stood up from her chair and left the room.
"Shayera!" John Stewart called out and rushed out of the room after her too.
Everyone watched, not really knowing what to say. They didn't know John and they felt sorry for Shayera but that was about it.
"He's a lantern, isn't he? Can't they just hook up in space?" Naruto asked.
"It doesn't work that way," Hal sighed. "Each lantern is assigned to a sector and they aren't allowed to leave there unless ordered to. If it got out that he left the milky way to see a woman, he'd be punished. It's not worth it."
"Shame."
⁂
The Justice League's meeting was unexpectedly interrupted by Hawkgirl's revelations and her decision to leave the Earth right away. However, after Hawkgirl's abrupt and swift departure, the remaining 6 came back to the conference room.
"John, do you want us to postpone this to a later date?" Superman asked in a tone of understanding.
"Don't mind me." Green Lantern said. Though he looked more taciturn than ever, his expression was composed. "Personal matters can't come before Justice League business. As Shayera said, I was a soldier too; I understand her decision. She can't disobey the orders coming from above."
Superman nodded in acknowledgement and dressed his voice.
"Though Hawkgirl leaving us is unfortunate, there is nothing we can do about it. We have to move on and work harder in order to protect our planet. And now that we know each other's identities, it's time we discuss another very important issue: funding. Not only we will need a much bigger headquarters - which will cost us dozens of millions - we will need more spaceships, specialized equipment and many other facilities, enough to accommodate dozens or maybe hundreds of heroes."
Batman said:
"As Bruce Wayne, I am a billionaire. However, I can't support all the costs by myself. Not because I can't afford it but because such a large sum of money disappearing at once without an explanation would attract too much attention and possibly expose the fact that I'm somehow connected to the Justice League. The government is most likely paying very close attention to all the wealthy people since they know that the Justice League would not be able to operate without serious financial backing."
"Make an OnlyFans and a GoFundMe," Kara joked. "Money flows in, no questions asked."
Everyone ignored her.
Flash said:
"To be honest, I don't see of how much help we could be. I'm just a forensics scientist at the Central City Police Department, John is a retired soldier, Wonder Woman is an exiled princess and Martian Manhunter has no worldly possessions. We aren't poor, of course, but we are not rich either."
"What about Aquaman, have you tried to contact him? He's the King of Atlantis, he's probably even wealthier than I am if we were to count all the sunken treasures at the bottom of the oceans, treasures that only he has access to. He doesn't have to justify his expenses to anyone either." Batman suggested.
Hal snorted. "I'm pretty sure converting supposedly lost Spanish doubloons into American dollars is even harder than explaining how a hundred million dollars vanished into thin air."
Batman only smirked. The man didn't know what was going on.
"That's a great idea. We just have to see how we can convince him to support us. I will go talk to him myself." Superman offered. "I can also provide the Justice League with highly advanced technology from Krypton and even money if it comes down to it. Over the years, I've gathered many valuable things in my Fortress of Solitude. As Clark Kent I may not be a millionaire but, as Superman, I could always get some rare space materials that NASA or other interested parties would be willing to spend a fortune for."
"I will get into contact with Green Arrow and see if he can support us as well." Batman said.
The others made a confused face. They had not heard about that name until then.
"Haha!" Kara doubled over laughing.
"I hate you all!" Oliver cried. "All of you! Fuck all of you bloody! Damn you all!"
"He's a small, local vigilante operating in Star City. I can't tell you his identity without his approval first but I can tell you that he is just as rich as Batman." Superman explained.
Martian Manhunter who had been silent until then spoke:
"I have been contacted by a very wealthy man named Maxwell Lord two weeks ago too, only a few days after our clash against Uzumaki Naruto in Jump City. It was not long after Superman suggested to expand the Justice League. Maxwell Lord offered to support the Justice League financially but..."
"Oh no," Clark buried his face in his hands. "This cannot be happening."
Hearing the way Martian Manhunter trailed off made the others curious.
"But what? Is there an issue with his character?" Wonder Woman asked.
"I do not know." Martian Manhunter said.
"What do you mean?" Batman asked.
"I could not read his mind. He is a telepath, just like me."
"A telepath wants to sponsor a group of superheroes. That'll certainly end well," Kara snarked.
"You have no idea," Clark grumbled. The man rarely partook in villainy but he was a handful when he did, being even more insidious than Lex with his schemes.
Bruce Wayne made a thinking posture.
"I know Maxwell Lord. He's the head of Chimtech Consortium, one of the wealthiest men in the world. A rather unscrupulous businessman but nobody ever gets that rich by playing nice against the competition. Still, as far as I know, he has not broken any laws yet. He is not sided with the government either, he's rather infamous for often butting heads with them."
Flash said:
"I don't find it weird that a billionaire would offer to support us. I mean people aren't blind, they see what we have gone through to protect everyone: Darkseid attacked the Earth a few years ago, Imperium and his race almost took over the planet about a year and a half ago and then there was the Gordanian ship threatening to destroy Jump City a few weeks ago too."
Green Lantern nodded in agreement.
"True. If Maxwell Lord wants to support us, I say we go for it. We need all the help we can get."
The 6 of them continued to discuss various matters related to the Justice League's future but, at some point, the alarms of the Watchtower started to blare.
Flash was the first to arrive in the control room, just in time to see a live footage captured by one of the remote cameras placed on one of the many Justice League-owned satellites orbiting the Earth: a very large and muscular grey-skinned man with shaggy and long black hair and a horseshoe moustache was approaching the Earth while riding a space-bike. He was dressed in leather clothes and a very thick chain was wrapped around his forearm while the other end of it was tied to a large, human-sized metallic box which he dragged after the bike making sure to keep it right after the engines, seemingly with the clear intent of heating it up.
"Hey, it's Lobo." Naruto pointed at the screen, happy to see the man again.
"You won't be saying the same if you got to know him," Clark said.
When Superman arrived in the control room as well and saw the appearance of the alien detected by the Watchtower, he frowned. .
"Lobo? What is he doing here?"
"The main man is here to tear shit up!"
"Lobo!" Clark jumped and looked around wildly for the bounty hunter. It was only after a few seconds that he saw Oliver with his hands on his mouth, having done the impression himself.
"He really gave you PTSD, huh?" Kara chuckled weakly. Clark merely grunted, but didn't let up the glare he'd fixed onto the archer. "You mind reading, Gaara?"
"The chapter is over." Gaara closed the book and worked his jaw a few times. "This Hawkgirl of yours seems like a long-winded woman."
"All the yelling she does builds her lung capacity," Oliver guessed. "But damn, she's a spy? I'd have never guessed."
"It would beat the point of espionage if you were able to," Bruce pushed a few buttons on his cowl and the helmet-like item collapsed so it resembled a normal cloth once again.
"Yeah, I guess you have a point."
More chapters to come.