Lee couldn't close his eyes without seeing everything play out in his mind like a movie. They'd gotten to Somalia and went to take out their target. Barney had recognized the target, and things had gone to hell after that. Lee had honestly thought they'd be all right, but then their target came back and shot Caesar a few times before firing a rocket at them.

His last thoughts had been about Maya.

"Dad?"

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her sitting beside him. She had her hands in her lap, and her eyes were sad. Louis was with Tia now in Caesar's room.

"Yea?" he said, clearing his throat.

"Is Uncle Caesar going to die?"

Lee didn't know how to answer this question. The possibility was very real, but he didn't want to make her feel any more afraid than she already was. She was terrified of losing them every time they went away. He knew this would solidify that fear for future times he went away. If he went away.

He was thinking really hard about that.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, deciding that he couldn't hide it from her because she was too damn smart.

"What happened?"

"Someone hurt him."

"Who?"

"I don't know," Lee answered, catching sight of Barney pacing farther down the hall, hand raking over his hair over and over again.

Toll came into view then. He looked drained and worn out. Thankfully, he'd changed his clothes so Maya wouldn't see the blood. Gunner had too. Lee hadn't gotten any on him, but he was itching to go home and change. He needed to wash it all off.

"Uncle Toll," Maya said, jumping up and going to hug him tightly around the waist. Toll rested a hand on her head to hold her close.

"Hey, kid," he said back.

"Were you scared?" she asked, looking up at him. "Did your life flash before your eyes like they say it does?" Lee was always amazed at her questions sometimes. She was miles ahead of her seven-year-old self most of the time.

"Yea," Toll answered truthfully. "I was...and yea, it did."

"Are you still scared?"

"I am."

Maya released him and stepped back. Lee caught the back of her hoodie and pulled her backwards into him, lifting her up onto his knees and wrapping his arms around her. He could feel her trembling.

"What did you get up to while we were away?" he asked, thinking that changing the subject might help. He shifted her hair from behind her neck to in front of her shoulder, looking at the chain around her neck. She'd wanted a Saint Christopher necklace too after seeing his all the time, so he'd indulged. She never took it off.

"Aunt Tia did some drawing with us. We went for hikes. We made pizza," Maya answered.

"That sounds like fun."

"It was."

"Lee."

He looked up to see Barney standing there. Maya looked up at him too, but Barney didn't acknowledge her.

"I got her," Toll said, reaching to pluck Maya from Lee's lap and setting her onto his. She curled against his chest, watching Lee carefully as he stood and walked away with Barney.

"What?" Lee asked, feeling nervous.

"It ain't looking good," Barney answered. "I don't know what to do." Lee noticed his lucky ring was missing, and he surmised Barney had left it by Caesar's side.

"There's nothing we can do."

"Not for him, but we can deal with Stonebanks."

"Tell me who he is again?"

"Irrelevant."

This irritated Lee a little bit. How could it be irrelevant? "How do we find him?"

"I've been trying to reach Church, but he's not answering. They found him once, they'll find him again."

"Alright. Keep me posted."

Both men looked back at Maya, who was engaged in a thumb war with Toll now. Lee appreciated his effort at trying to make her smile.

"How's she doing?" Barney asked.

"Scared."

"Maybe you should reconsider this line of work."

Lee looked at his friend, and it never ceased to amaze him how much Barney could read his mind and know what he was wrestling with. He didn't say anything, and Barney walked away after a moment, leaving Lee standing there and wondering what was going to happen to all of them.

...

Barney sank down onto his chair and sat staring at the wall. He barely registered Tool coming into the room. He said nothing as he sat across from him.

"What happened?" Tool asked after a moment.

"Stonebanks happened," Barney answered. Tool inhaled sharply, and Barney finally looked at his eyes. The hurt and anger and confusion were evident. He was pretty sure they were reflected in his eyes too.

"Church gonna find him again?"

"Church is gone. We got some new asshole. Drummer."

"They definitely come up with some interesting names for themselves," Tool sighed, pressing his fingers into his face momentarily, rubbing up and down slightly.

"I gotta cut 'em loose," Barney continued, making Tool lower his hand and look at him again.

"What?"

"The boys. I can't risk them getting killed over this."

"Barns..."

"I can't!" Barney said loudly, making Tool flinch at the sound. He swallowed and nodded slowly. Ever since Billy and then Emily, he knew that Barney couldn't handle anymore loss.

"It'll crush them," he said after a moment.

"Better their egos bruised than dead," Barney retorted.

"They're your brothers. You can't just cut them out like this..."

"It's already decided," Barney cut him off, holding up a hand. "Lee's got Maya. Doc should enjoy his newfound freedom. Toll and Gunner have a life ahead of them still. I don't. I'm old. I'm ready to die."

"Barns, don't say that..."

"You're not changing my mind. Caesar could still lose his life...he's hanging by a thread. When is it enough? When do we stop? When one of us finally dies? No. I'm ending this now."

They were quiet for a bit, and Tool fidgeted with his fingers in his lap. He watched Barney struggle with his emotions.

"This isn't your fault," he said. Barney shifted, grinding his jaw but not answering. Tool knew it was pointless to sit there and argue with him any longer, so he got up and tapped the desk, told Barney to call him if he needed him, and left him alone.

...

Lee stood in the doorway watching Maya sleep. Her night light was in the corner, casting a yellow glow into the ceiling and along the wall above her bed. It had taken a while to convince her to leave the hospital. She felt like if she stayed, Caesar would definitely be okay. It broke his heart knowing that she thought she had this kind of control.

"I'm sorry."

He turned his head, seeing Emily standing there. His heart clenched. She was always wearing that deep blue dress that he loved, and today, she crossed her arms and gave him a sad look.

"It is what it is," he answered, his voice slightly hoarse. Fighting down emotion for hours does that to you.

"Is this enough of a wakeup call for you?" she asked as he pushed off the doorway and walked down the hall to his room. She followed.

"We were fine until that bastard shot at us like fish in a barrel," Lee retorted, yanking his shirt off and throwing it into the laundry basket by the door. The chain of his necklace was cold on his skin, but he barely felt it.

"I really think you should consider retiring," Emily tried as he went to brush his teeth.

"Not right now."

"Lee..."

"Not right now!" he said sharply, staring at her. "It's people like this guy out there who make me realize more than ever that I can't retire because then they'd get away with this shit and possibly hurt Maya."

"Someone else can do the job," she said softly. "You know this."

"Please just leave me alone," he instructed, pressing a hand to his face and turning away from her. When he looked back a moment later, she was gone. He exhaled long and slow, slumping against the counter. He knew she was right, that his own brain projecting his thoughts into her words was right, but he wasn't ready to give it up just yet...didn't know how to.

Blood work was the only life he knew.

The Next Day

Toll sat beside Gunner, Doc, and Lee at the bar while Barney sat across from them. Tool had Maya for the afternoon just to distract her from what was going on. Lee was thankful for that. She'd been upset all morning, clinging to his leg and crying and then sitting silent at the table. He looked at his friend now, and he knew what Barney was going to say before he even said it.

"I'm calling it," Barney said, looking at all of them. "This is it. The team is breaking up."

"What?!" Doc exclaimed. "You bust me out just to put me out of a job?!"

"Barns, you can't do this," Toll argued. "We signed up for the whole ride!"

"Ride's over," Barney said, standing up. Gunner and Lee didn't say anything, and Lee waited until Barney was outside before getting up and running after him.

"Hey!" he shouted, making Barney turn around.

"What?"

"You can't just dump us like this," Lee said angrily, "not after everything we've been through."

"Lee," Barney said, putting a hand on his shoulder firmly. "You have Maya now. Think about it. What would it do to her if she lost you too? You're everything to her, and you can't come with me chasing after a ghost because I can't lose you either. I've done enough."

"What does that mean?"

"I've put all of you in danger one too many times," Barney clarified. "It's over, Lee. Go home. Be with Maya. Do something else in your life that doesn't involve almost dying every time you go to work. Do it for Maya. Do it for me. It's not too late for you; it is for me."

"Barney..."

"Go," Barney said again, more strongly. He gave Lee's shoulder a final shake and walked to his truck. Lee let his arms fall to his sides, and he struggled to breathe. His entire life was turned upside down. He didn't know who he was without a gun or a knife in his hand.

When Barney didn't come back, he didn't bother going back inside to join the others. He just left.

...

Tia looked up when Lee came into the hospital room. She'd been crying about ten minutes earlier, and her cheeks were now stiff and tight. She saw Lee's hesitancy, as if he wasn't sure he should be interrupting her silence with Caesar.

"Hey, Lee," she said tiredly, resting her right cheek on her hand and looking at him.

"Hey," he said back softly. "How is he?"

"Still with us," she answered with a sigh. "I don't know for how long, though."

"He'll pull through," Lee insisted, coming to sit in the empty chair next to her. "He's a tough guy."

"I know, but I can't stop my mind from going through all the scenarios where he isn't here," Tia admitted. "It...it breaks my heart." Her voice became emotional near the end, and she pressed the back of her fingers against her lips to stop from crying.

"You know that if anything happens to Caesar, we're all here for you, right?" Lee said, reaching to grasp her left hand in his tightly. She nodded, a few tears leaking out regardless of her efforts.

"I know," she managed to say. He offered a sad smile, and she pressed her lips into a tight smile in return. She looked over at Caesar when Lee let go of her hand, and she willed him to open his eyes.

He didn't.

"Where's Louis?" Lee asked, making her look at him again.

"At my sister's," she answered, "but I feel bad having her look after him so much."

"I can take him for a bit," Lee advised. "It might help him and Maya through this."

"Oh, Lee, I can't ask that of you," she started, but he held up his hand.

"I don't mind," he insisted. "Barney fired us all anyway, so I have lots of time on my hands now."

"Fired you? I don't understand," Tia said, confused. Lee sighed roughly.

"Barney doesn't want anyone else getting hurt or killed, so he's let us all go."

"Oh..."

"I guess it's a good thing," Lee reasoned, running a hand over his head briefly. "Maya won't lose another person."

"I honestly can't see you doing anything but mercenary work," Tia commented, tilting her head at him. "That's going to be quite the adjustment."

"It will be."

"It's sounding like you taking Louis is a way of distracting yourself from it," Tia noted.

"You got me," Lee admitted, smiling again. "But seriously, I want to make things easy for you too."

"Let me work it out. I know I need to spend time with him too. Maybe when I'm here, you can have him."

"Sure."

Tia turned her head to look at Caesar again, watching his chest rise and fall. At least he was still breathing. That was what she was holding onto right now. With Lee there for the rest of the afternoon, she didn't feel as alone.

Two Days Later

Lee pulled back against the door when Louis went rushing past to greet Maya. Tia was taking the day to run errands and sit with Caesar, and she'd taken him up on his offer to have Louis for the day.

"I think he's done with my crying," Tia joked as they both watched Maya show Louis the math equation she was working on.

"I envy how kids can cope better than us," Lee said.

"He has his moments," Tia assured him. "But I think this was good for him too. Some distraction never hurt anyone."

"Any updates?" Lee asked.

"No," Tia replied, shaking her head. "Hale's still the same."

"Keep me posted."

"Of course. And thanks again."

"Anytime," Lee said, and he meant it. Tia smiled and yelled goodbye to Louis, who rushed back to hug her before rushing back to Maya. Lee shut the door once Tia was gone, and he watched the two kids chattering about math. It made him chuckle a little and shake his head slightly. It was definitely out of his wheelhouse. He was the jock of the group.

"Dad, I need more graph paper, please!" Maya called. Lee's lips twisted into a smile as he went digging for it. Maya snatched it eagerly when he handed it to her, thanking him emphatically. He stood behind them and watched her sketching. He was already lost at what she was drawing, so he gave up and went to entertain himself with fixing things up around the apartment.

...

Toll and Gunner found Tool by himself at the office. Toll had an idea as to where Barney had gone, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't like knowing he was getting replaced.

"What're you boys doing in this neck of the woods?" Tool asked, peering up at them over his tattoo design he was doodling.

"Bored," Gunner replied, sinking down into the chair across from him with a grunt and a sigh. Toll leaned against the desk on his hip and nodded his head. Ever since losing Serena, he didn't say much. Even though they hadn't known each other for long, it had given Toll a hope for something good in his life that he hadn't felt in a long time. Without it, he didn't feel like being jovial.

"Bored," Tool repeated with a low chuckle. "That's never good."

"No. I break shit when I'm bored," Gunner added.

"Well don't break anything in here."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Tool looked at him anyway and caught him eyeing up the mug on the table. He moved to pull it out of reach.

"How many young farts do you think Barney's gonna hire?" Toll asked as Gunner sighed and looked elsewhere for another target.

"I have no idea," Tool answered. He was back to drawing, his concentration on what he was doing very deep.

"He's going on a suicide mission, isn't he?" Gunner asked.

"Probably," Tool answered with a sigh. "He's got those crazy eyes on him. No stopping that train."

"Have you talked any sense into him?" Toll questioned. Tool gave a scoffing snort.

"Since when have I ever talked sense into him?" he countered.

"Fair point," Toll agreed. "I guess I was just being hopeful."

"Well stop it," Tool ordered. "Having hope right now is too damn hard." He went back to his work, and Gunner shared a look with Toll.

"You don't think he's gonna make it, do you?" Toll asked, his tone a bit gentler now. Tool refused to look at him as he worked, but he gave a mighty sniff a moment later.

"If he wants to rush out and get himself killed, then there's nothing I can do about it," he said. He kept working, still not looking at them. Toll shifted, feeling a little bit anxious now.

"Bonaparte will get him a good team," he said confidently, trying to believe it.

"We'll see."

Toll didn't say anything else as he pressed his lips together. It bothered him to think of Barney going on a suicide mission. He didn't like knowing his brother was going out there without him having his back.

No one said anything else; Tool's smoke from his pipe swirling and drifting to the ceiling silently and slowly.

...

Caesar was wandering around a trail through some woods. He wasn't really sure where he was, but he felt calm. He could hear birds singing and the wind blowing through the leaves. He looked up, seeing the sunlight filtering through. He smiled to himself as he walked. He wasn't sure why he was there or why things felt foggy in his mind. He turned the corner on the trail and stopped in his tracks upon seeing a woman sitting on a bench, her elbows resting on her knees. She turned her head to see him, her hair falling forward slightly.

They locked eyes, and Caesar felt something pulling in his mind.

"I know you," he said to her. "How do I know you? Who are you?"

She just smiled and shook her head. Caesar turned to look behind him, having heard a noise. When he turned back to see her again, she was gone.

...

"Well, I think we're done here," Bonaparte said, reaching to shake Barney's hand. "You've got yourself a good team."

"We'll see," Barney replied dryly. He released a cough and reached for his cigar, sticking it into his mouth and lighting it up.

"You're really going after Stonebanks?" Bonaparte asked. His one brow was lifted as he looked at Barney intently. Barney nodded.

"Yea."

"You're a crazy man."

"So I've heard."

"Your boys are upset at being cut loose I imagine?" Bonaparte questioned.

"They'll get over it," Barney answered, blowing smoke now. "Thanks again."

"Yea, no problem. Good luck."

They shook hands again, and Barney turned to walk back to his plane to go home. He could feel the anger from his former team in the air around him. He knew they wanted justice for Caesar just as much. He just didn't want to lose anymore men that he cared about. These new kids, he didn't know anything about them. He didn't care to. They were just bodies to him. They were going to help him get the job done.

As he flew home, he did his best not to think about his uncle or anyone else that made him feel sad or angry. It proved to be very difficult.

...

Lee was finishing drying dishes when Tia came to collect Louis. She looked exhausted as she came inside and leaned against the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. Maya and Louis were in the middle of a race on Lee's old Nintendo system.

"What a day," Tia said tiredly.

"You want me to keep him overnight?" Lee offered. For a moment, she looked like she might accept, but then she shook her head.

"I like being around him," she advised. "He helps me to feel like things are gonna be okay."

"Fair enough."

"Was he any trouble?"

"Of course not," Lee answered with a slight scoff. "He's a very well behaved boy."

"That's good."

"You want something to eat? I've got leftovers."

"You know what? Sure," she agreed, moving to sit at the table while Lee pulled out the tinfoil wrapped plate in his fridge to put it in the microwave. He set the now crumpled tinfoil aside and started the microwave after shutting the door.

"It's nothing fancy," he warned.

"I'll take anything," Tia said with a chuckle.

"How was he?"

"Still in a coma," Tia answered with a sigh. She rested her chin on her hand and looked over at the children playing. She smiled after a while. "Did you know that he fainted when I gave birth to Louis?"

"What?" Lee asked, laughing.

"Oh yea. Like a damn tree. He almost cracked his head on their little table on wheels on his way down."

"I can't believe that."

"Yea, he apparently can handle everything but watching his wife push a baby out of her," Tia said, laughing now herself. "I honestly think it was the shock that he was really a father that did it."

"I could see that."

"He's such a good father," Tia said in a quiet voice, almost hushed. "He stepped up in so many ways, and it breaks my heart to think that Louis is gonna miss out on so much if he dies..."

"He's not gonna die," Lee said firmly, making her look at him. "I know him. He's too tough to die."

"I hope you're right," she whispered. He gave her his best affirming smile when the microwave beeped to indicate it was finished. He pulled out the plate, set it on a hot plate, and then set it down in front of her with a fork and knife. She began to eat slowly.

"Mum!" Louis exclaimed, finally seeing her after he finished the game. He came over to hug her sideways.

"Hey," Tia said back, reaching to smooth a hand over his head. "You good?"

"Yea. Maya won again."

"I see."

"It's all in the thumbs," Maya explained as she came closer. Lee suppressed his smirk. Maya was definitely a competitive gamer.

"Well, thank you for keeping Louis company today," Tia said to her, reaching to pull her into a sideways hug next. "You're such a good friend."

Maya hugged her back without replying. Lee knew she got shy whenever someone complimented her. It was cute.

Once Tia finished eating and they did some small talk for a bit, she headed for the door.

"Anytime," Lee told her. "I mean that."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Bye," Louis said, waving.

"Bye," Maya said back, and Lee waved too. Tia smiled and ushered Louis out the door. Then it was just the two of them again. Lee looked at Maya, sensing she needed a distraction.

"Think you can beat me?" he asked, making her look at him.

"Oh yea!" she exclaimed, rushing back to the living room. Chuckling, he followed. Then he proceeded to kick her butt on the game, making her laugh and jump on him to distract him, her hands trying to cover his eyes while he did his best to nudge her off. She had him laughing hard when she reached to press buttons on his controller to make him mess up when her attempts to blind him failed.

He loved that little girl so much. He didn't know what he'd do without her.

...

Barney was finalizing his plan when Tool came into his office. He glanced up at his old friend as Tool stood there in front of him with crossed arms.

"What?" he asked.

"You're gonna make me spell it out?"

"Yes."

Tool reached to pick up the newspaper discarded on his desk and rolled it slowly while Barney watched with a wary expression. Tool patted it against his palm a few times before lunging forward at him.

"Don't. Be. Such. A. Stupid. Asshole!" Tool hit him with the paper like a bad dog in between each word as Barney covered his head with his arms to protect himself.

"Hey, hey!" he yelped. "Tool!"

"What're you doing?!" Tool exploded now, throwing the paper against the wall. "You're gonna go after Conrad with a pissant, inexperienced team?! Are you crazy?!"

"Tool..."

"You've got a death wish," Tool interrupted, shoving a finger into his face. "And I don't want to be a part of it."

"What're you doing?" Barney asked as Tool stormed off.

"I'm done, Barns," Tool replied. "I can't watch you and those damn crazy eyes of yours drive the ship into an iceberg and drown with it. I've been your friend for a long time, but I will not sit back and watch you do this. If I can't change your mind, then I'm leaving and not coming back. I don't want to know a damn thing about anything. I want to be able to pretend that you're out there somewhere still alive."

"Tool," Barney tried again. "Come on, don't go."

"Are you gonna change your mind?" Tool challenged.

"Well, no..."

"Then I'm gone," Tool interrupted. "Call me when your brain is back in your head. Or don't. Whatever." He disappeared, and Barney contemplated going after him, but he didn't. He knew this was Tool's way of protecting himself, and he didn't blame him for it. He knew he was making the world's craziest decision, but he didn't see any other way.

He had to avenge Caesar. He just had to. It was the least he could do.