Here is part III! It will be going back and forth from past to present, so watch the headings.

Quotes in the intro are definitions from Google and from Traitor by Daughtry

July 2013

She knew who they were the first night. She'd come in from her boat ride, passed Ethan on the end of the dock, ignored his attempts of talking to her, and went to her room. She pictured the men again, dedicating them to memory. There had been something on the one man's inner arm, a tattoo by the look of it. She turned on her camera and had a look. They hadn't noticed her taking their photo, which was lucky for her. She zoomed in on the tattoo, thankful that he had stretched his arm out in that particular way as he was making his point to his friend about steel line fishing being stupid.

"Expendable," she murmured, examining it. "Alright. Let's see who you are." She went for Maya's stuffed bear and unzipped the back of it. She pulled out her sat phone and locked her bedroom door. She'd swept the cottage regularly and found no bugging devices. She was good to go. She looked out the window to make sure Ethan was still outside, which he was. He was sitting in the chair on the dock and looking like he was pouting still from her rejection.

She dialed.

"What?" his gruff voice barked.

"It's me," she said.

"Emily," Church confirmed.

"Yes."

"What's going on? Why are you calling me? Do you have a lead on something?"

"No. We just had some guys come to the cottage next to us, and I want to check them out."

"How many?"

"I've seen two so far, but I guess there's more."

"Any identifiers on them?"

"A tattoo. It says Expendable."

There was complete silence for a moment, and Emily pulled the phone back to see if she'd lost her connection. She frowned when she saw he was still on the line.

"Church?"

He burst out into almost maniacal laughter.

"Are you shitting me?!" he exclaimed once he could speak.

"No..."

"Barney Ross and his gang of psychotic mutts are next door?!" Church asked, still laughing.

"I guess...?"

"This is just too good," Church said. "Holy shit. Well, Emily, you've got yourself some good backup, even if they are bat shit crazy."

"So they're good guys?" she asked, feeling annoyed with Church in that moment.

"If you wanna call them that. They've done work for me in the past."

"They have?"

"Yea. The last job didn't go so well. They lost a man. Billy, I think the kid's name was. Barney's been ducking my calls ever since. I think he's pissed at me."

"What do you want me to do with them?" Emily asked.

"Don't reveal yourself unless you have to. Stay low. If I know Ross, he'll figure out what's going on with Fred and Ethan soon enough. He won't be able to help himself and will get involved. When that happens, we can talk about if you should reveal yourself."

"Okay."

"Thanks for the update. Made my day."

Emily hung up on him without saying goodbye. The man irked her at times but he did give a shit at other times in surprising ways. He'd given her absolute hell when she told him she was keeping Maya because he thought it would cost him a good agent, but he'd supported her in the end after realizing it would help her cover that much better.

She put the phone back and tucked the bear back under Maya's covers. Then she went back outside.

...

Later that night, she'd had enough and finally intervened when Fred tried to hit Serena, and she got grabbed and thrown to the floor. Emily saw Ethan standing by and doing nothing, just smirking. She hated them both. She also hated Serena for never standing up for herself. Why didn't this woman realize she could do so much better?

She'd gone to check on Maya, feeling guilty for having her daughter endure this bullshit. She found her daughter's bed empty, and she panicked.

"Maya!" She called, running down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asked. She ignored him and burst outside.

"Maya!"

She ran, searching. Where would her daughter go? Then she looked over at Barney's place. Would she go there?

"MAYA!"

She ran towards it, not even caring if she looked and sounded like a crazy person. She was a single mother whose daughter was missing. She ran into one of the men holding her daughter in his arms, and her heart stopped. One, because he was holding her daughter, and two, he was incredibly good looking up close in person. Then her mother bear instinct kicked in. She'd kill him if she had to.

"Who the hell are you, and why do you have my daughter?" she demanded.

"She came over to get away from the yelling," he said calmly. His British accent made her feel almost homesick. She had not expected that. "She fell asleep. I was bringing her home."

"Emily?" Ethan called. She groaned inwardly. She did not want him coming over here.

"I'm fine," Emily said back sharply. She tucked her flashlight under her arm and reached for Maya. The Brit handed her over smoothly, careful not to wake the little girl up. Emily wrapped an arm under Maya's legs and rested her against her shoulder.

"Here," he said, handing the stuffed dog over next.

"Thank you."

"Everything all right over here?" he asked.

"Fine," she answered, her voice clipped. "Thank you." She turned without waiting for him to say anything else and walked back to her cottage. She walked past Ethan, pulling away from him when he went to reach for her. She hated him with a passion. She hoped one day he would be gone from her life forever.

She got Maya back to bed and tucked her in. Her daughter didn't even stir. Emily worked to calm her racing heart. That man had looked after her daughter without even knowing her or Emily. She was pretty sure she was getting the answer to her question about if they were good guys or not.

The Next Day

Emily figured she had to insert herself into these guys' circle, so she let Maya wander over without stopping her, giving Emily a reason to go over there. She waited a bit before throwing a shirt over her wet swimsuit and walked to go get her back.

"Maya!" she called. That would give her daughter a head's up. She could hear the Brit (who she now knew to be Lee) talking to her as she got closer. He was telling Maya she could come get him if she ever needed him. Interesting.

"Maya, what are you doing?" Emily asked as she got closer. She saw her daughter give her a bit of a guilty look as she looked over her shoulder at Emily. She halted upon seeing Lee standing there holding a knife in his hand. She instinctively put her hand on Maya's shoulder. Even though she knew who he was, she suddenly had a fear he was pretending to be nice and might actually be the psychotic mutt Church painted him out to be.

"He's filleting a fish," Maya told her. "See?"

"Oh." Emily's eyes flickered to the half butchered fish on the workbench. What a relief. She knew he was a knife specialist because Church had sent her all the files on all of them, which she had checked out late the night before after Maya was safely tucked into bed. Lee Christmas was supposedly the best. She had read up on the others too: Barney Ross, Toll Road, Gunner Jensen, and Hale Caesar. They were quite the group. It seemed that Yin Yang was missing, though. She wondered where he'd gone.

"Hi," Lee said to her. In the daylight, he was somehow even more handsome looking. She swallowed.

"I'm sorry if she's bothering you," Emily said.

"Mr. Christmas is my friend," Maya insisted.

"Sweetheart, you've only known him for five minutes."

"Half an hour," Maya corrected. "At least." Lee chewed on his cheek to stop from laughing, and Emily put on an exasperated expression on her face.

"Alright, but please leave him in peace, okay? You're giving me a stroke every time I turn around and you're gone."

"You'd be dead if you really had a stroke," Maya pointed out.

Not necessarily, Emily thought to herself, but there was no sense in arguing with her right now about it.

"Okay, we really need to get you back into reading books for your age."

"They're all so boring," Maya said, rolling her eyes.

"Come on," Emily said, nudging Maya back towards their cottage.

"Bye, Mr. Christmas," Maya said.

"I really don't mind if you call me Lee," he offered. She bit down her smile, knowing that was his way of telling her his name. It was kind of cute, really. Too bad she already knew it.

"Can I, Mum?" Maya asked, looking up at Emily.

"An exception to the rule," Emily agreed. "But only because he's okay with it."

"Okay! Bye, Lee," Maya said, trying it out.

"Bye kiddo."

Emily gave him one last look before turning to follow her daughter. She gave him to the count of ten, and he didn't disappoint her.

"Wait!" he called, jogging after her. She stopped, passing a hand over her face to keep her hair out of her eyes. Maya kept going, though, without looking back.

"Yes?" she asked.

"My friend has a son who is seven. If Maya wants a buddy to hang out with, I'm sure he'd be thrilled. He really could use time with someone his own age."

"That actually might be nice," Emily said genuinely. "She doesn't have a lot of friends."

"Too smart for them?"

"Was it that obvious?" she countered, a smile on her lips finally.

"Well, Louis is pretty smart too. Maybe not her level, but close enough." She watched him work hard not to look at her body but instead keep eye contact with her. It made her feel a twinge inside, and she appreciated his efforts to not be rude. Not many people did that for her.

"Let me know when you want her to come over," Emily said. Movement made them both look to see Ethan watching them.

"Is he a problem?" Lee asked quietly.

"No. He's leaving soon," Emily answered. "Is your phone on you?"

"Yea."

"I'll put my number in it."

He handed her his phone, and she entered her number slowly. She hoped it would piss Ethan off.

"Text me," she said, handing it back to him. She let her fingers linger against his, and she felt an even harder twinge than before.

"I will."

She smiled, and he smiled back. Then she made her way along the trail. Ethan reached for her hand when she got nearer.

"Sod off!" she said loudly, pulling away.

"Who the hell is that?" Ethan demanded in her ear as they walked side by side.

"Nobody. Just a new friend."

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it," she retorted. "It's my life." She moved away from him and went to play with Maya.

Mission accomplished.

Present Day

Since it was the middle of the night, Lee left Maya with Tia. He planned to pick her up after breakfast so he could get some sleep. His brain was on fire, though. He wasn't sure if he was actually going to sleep. Emily's face kept crowding his mind, and he half expected her ghost to pop up and say something to him, but then he remembered she was very much alive and his imaginings of her had just been manifested from his need to still have her in his life.

He sighed roughly and dropped his bag on the floor in the corner of the kitchen. He pressed a hand to his face and closed his eyes, trying to think. What was he going to do? How was he going to tell Maya about this? Would she be happy? Upset? Angry? Betrayed? He knew he sure felt betrayed. He paced for a while until someone knocked on his front door. He stopped, staring at it. Who the hell would be at his place this time of night?

He almost felt anxious as he went to pull it open.

"I know you hate me, but I have nowhere else to go," Emily said, standing there. She had obviously borrowed Gunner's jacket since it almost engulfed her entirely. She'd left it undone.

"Sure you do," he replied. "Your buddy Barney can take you in." He went to shut the door when she grabbed it fast to stop him.

"Okay, fine. I came here to explain, so let me explain," she tried.

"How did you know Maya wasn't here?" he asked. "I told you to stay away until I figured out how to tell her about you!"

"Barney said she was with Tia, and I knew you'd leave her there for the night," Emily answered logically. "Look, Lee, you need to hear my side."

"Why? It won't make me hate you less."

His words were like a slap to her face, he could tell. It was as if she hadn't really believed he hated her and hearing him say it made it real. He really hadn't meant it, though. He was just pissed off. He couldn't hate her when he was still in love with her...angry or not.

"It matters to me that you know everything," she said quietly, "and you can still hate me at the end of it, but at least I'll know you know everything and can make your decision based off it."

Lee really didn't want to do this now, but she was determined. She had an arm holding herself, and he tilted his head a little.

"You need to be looked after first," he told her. "Get Doc to take a look at you."

"He already did. Nothing to do but take pain killers and ice it," she replied. Lee stood there looking at her, and he could still see her wounds without them being exposed. He knew Doc was their medic, but he felt the need to double check his work.

She said nothing as he stepped towards her, simply looking at him when he stopped in front of her. He rested his fingers on her chin to turn her head and look at the bruise on her left cheek. Her eyes were on him still as he released her and moved his hand to lift her shirt.

It was just so sickening to see. Doc had put something on her taser burns and bandaged over them. The bruises were fresh. He swallowed as he imagined Fred unleashing this hell on her.

"How did he find you?" he asked now, looking at her finally.

"I'm not sure," she answered. Lee rested a hand on her right hip and lightly slid it up to her ribs. He felt her flinch when he made contact with the second rib up.

"That hurts?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Doc's not sure if it's broken, bruised, or fractured. He said to monitor it and be careful."

Lee just nodded and took his hand back, dropping her shirt. He moved to step back when Emily caught his arm.

"I never wanted to hurt you," she said fiercely. "Never. I need you to understand that."

"But you did," he told her. He didn't want to be this close to her. It was making him think of other things outside of his anger, and he wasn't finished being pissed at her just yet.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm so sorry, Lee."

He held her gaze. He knew she meant it, but she'd broken him...broken him so badly he'd been barely able to function properly for the last 22 months. Broken him to the point that he'd almost gotten back together with Lacy for crying out loud.

But she'd done it for Maya to keep her safe. If roles had been reversed, wouldn't he have done the same? He felt conflicted. He was mentally going through their interactions together and trying to find something, anything, that proved she was just a liar who had an agenda when she first met him and didn't care what happened to him afterwards. If he was honest, he couldn't.

"Lee," Emily whispered, daring to rest her face against his now. His heart rate picked up, and his hands itched to cup her face and kiss her. He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing.

She'd abandoned him and Maya. She'd pretended to be dead.

He pulled away from her, and she stood with her hands clasped in front of her and her head slightly hanging. It hurt to think about how she could have been his family, that he could have something he'd always wanted, but after this, he didn't know how to move past her betrayal.

"You betrayed my trust," he said now. "I don't think you'll ever get it back."

"I was going to tell you," she started, "but Church..."

"I don't want to hear excuses," he cut her off. "You should have trusted me to help you. I would have."

"I know."

"Instead, you trust Barney and have him lie to me too."

"He insisted," she replied strongly. "I didn't ask for his help."

"Did you hear me?" Lee asked now, bypassing this. "When I held what I thought was your dead body in my arms and told you I was sorry for letting you down and that I loved you? Did you hear me say it?"

"No," she answered. "I didn't."

"You have no idea," Lee said again. "None at all."

"I don't, but please let me explain..."

"Explain what? You're obviously CIA. You used me to reach an endgame. End of story."

"I just wanted my life back!" she exploded now, and he felt slightly startled. Her fists were clenched now, and she was breathing hard.

"What do you mean?" he asked, unable to help himself.

"I got recruited when I was 24," Emily explained. "I was still working at Runway and already sort of friends with Serena, who they wanted me to keep an eye on because she was dating an arms dealer. This arms dealer was a key to finding someone named Conrad Stonebanks, whose real name I didn't even know until recently. I was to just keep tabs and report back until I found something that could take them both down, but...well, you saw what happened."

"All those things you told me," Lee said, referring to her family and work.

"Were true," she finished for him. "I didn't lie about who I was or what happened to me. I just didn't add that I was working for Church. I'm not technically a field agent. I...I'd never killed anyone until that day, and I haven't killed anyone since."

"You're intelligence then."

"Yes."

"And Maya? Who's her father?"

"I told you. Some random guy I slept with to get over what happened with Ethan. I really didn't lie to you about my life, Lee. I just kept out some parts," she insisted. "And I did that to keep Maya safe."

Lee's head hurt. He went to sit down at the table, and Emily stayed standing, watching him. He rested his head in his hand and the other hand flat on the table.

"Why recruit you?" he asked. "It can't have been random."

"It wasn't. I...I had a brother," she confessed, and Lee felt weary as another truth came to light. "He was in the CIA, and Conrad killed him when he got too close. I felt like I owed it to him to finish his work."

"A brother," he repeated.

"If I had revealed him, it risked revealing who he was and how he was linked to me, so I had to keep him to myself," Emily answered. "I wanted to tell you everything, Lee. I trusted you...I still trust you."

"You were eight years on this job."

"Conrad was evasive, and also Serena would break up with Fred for a bit before going back or Fred would disappear for a few months, so I had to hang in for those, but I also didn't want to go in and out of Serena's life...I needed her to trust me. Once they figured out Ethan was involved as well, I kept tabs on him too. And of course, I took some time after Maya was born to focus on her."

"Feels like a really long time."

"Church claimed there were four times they almost had Stonebanks but it fell through, so he felt it was worth me continuing to get information. I also was able to give him information on other most wanted people too, so it worked out in the end."

"I need sleep," he said suddenly. "I can't think straight anymore."

"Of course," Emily agreed instantly. "I'll go find a place to stay. I shouldn't have come here..."

Lee held up a hand, and she stopped talking. She waited for him to speak.

"The couch pulls out," he told her, not offering her his bed. Betrayers got sore backs from lousy futons. It felt like a small bit of justice in his mind. He knew he was being petty and mean, but he didn't care in that moment.

"I don't want to make things worse," she said.

"You won't. Just let me sleep."

"Okay."

He got up and went to his room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against it, exhaling long and slow out of his mouth.

How the hell was he going to stay angry at her when her logic made so much sense?

July 2013

Emily could not understand why Serena stayed with Fred. He was an awful, horrible person, and she kept trying to hint at her leaving him, but Serena wouldn't have it or else she'd take a month or two break and then go right back. It was bad enough Emily had to pretend to be just the "dumb" friend. It was worse to see Serena take such bullshit over and over again.

Unless...

No. There was no evidence that Serena was an agent of any kind. She was a sweet person who just happened to love the world's biggest loser. Without Serena, Emily had no reason to stay in his circle. While she wanted Serena to leave, it had to be timed just right. Church was claiming they were getting close, that Fred would reach out to his boss again over this transaction. Then it would be all over...but Emily had heard this from him a few times in the last eight years. Fred's boss always seemed to get away, leaving her stuck there. And Church seemed to always have some other bad guy she could help him get through Fred and/or Ethan.

But Emily also didn't want to lose Serena as a friend because she had nobody else other than Maya. After her parents died, she went to live with her aunt, who hated her. Her brother flitted in and out, which drove her mad. She had just wanted him to take her with him, but he was 19 and working for the CIA and told her it was too dangerous to stay with him. He was killed just after turning 33, and she was left truly alone.

And then Church had come along.

She really didn't know why she decided to help other than she wanted to somehow avenge her brother's death. If Fred's boss was responsible, then he had to go.

"I thought you were leaving," Serena's voice said now, and Emily turned her head to see Ethan walking alongside Serena towards the cottage.

"Oh, that got cancelled," Ethan answered. "I'm gonna stick around here for now."

Emily groaned inwardly. She knew why he was staying; it was because he was jealous of Lee and didn't want to leave her and Lee alone together. It was ridiculous. She felt angry. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? It was bad enough he'd done what he'd done to her, and now he wanted more. Well, he was never going to get it.

She was rounding up Maya when she saw Fred heading to the door with a bag. She paused. Where was he going? He gave Serena a kiss and smack on the rear, which made Emily cringe a little. Then he was gone with Ethan giving him a ride over to the landing in the boat.

"Where is he going?" Emily asked Serena when she came back inside.

"Some work thing," she answered vaguely. Emily felt a bit concerned. What was he doing? She couldn't exactly follow him. And why wasn't Ethan going with him? They worked together after all.

It puzzled her.

"You gonna see Mr. Hottie soon?" Serena asked, and Emily rolled her eyes.

"No," she lied. Truthfully, she wanted to. She'd been daydreaming about him all day.

"I think you should," Serena insisted. "It'd be good for Maya to make a friend too." She knew about Louis, and Emily had debated on whether or not she should let them play together, but in the end, she wanted Maya to be happy. If this did make her happy, then she'd do it. She was going to make Lee make the first move, though.

"I'm not tired," Maya complained as she pulled her head through the neck of her nightgown.

"I know you think you're not, but you've been yawning like crazy the last half hour," Emily pointed out. Maya did her best to fight down another one and failed, making them both giggle.

"Fine," Maya conceded. "Maybe I am a little."

Emily smiled as she watched her daughter climb into her cot. She was going to miss these moments when Maya grew up and eventually left her. She tried not to think about when that day was going to come.

After lying in bed for a bit, Lee texted her, which made her smile. As much as she wanted to protect Maya from getting hurt, she couldn't help but feel something for him that she hadn't felt in a long time. She couldn't risk him discovering who she really was, though, so she had to keep it platonic, and she would.

She woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and felt scared. It had been of Maya, and she could only watch helplessly as Fred killed her. This wasn't the first time, and she worried it was a premonition. It made her want to cry, but she held it back so as not to wake up Maya. She was so tired of feeling afraid. She worried about getting caught by Ethan or Fred, and now she was worried about getting found out by the Expendables and having her cover blown. However, she was thinking they could actually help her, that they could somehow help get her freedom back.

She hugged her pillow tightly and rolled over. She held onto the thought that one day, she'd be free from this, and maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to love a man like Lee and have a normal life.

The Next Day

Emily had to resist smiling when Tia said the men were part of a military unit and now doing construction. If only she could be honest and say she already knew they were mercenaries. She'd looked at Lee's tattoo again up close, and she'd admired the work done on it. She wondered why they went with the name "Expendable," but she could understand it. She felt expendable too.

"So who did that to you?" Lee asked, and she cringed inwardly. She tried not to interfere when Fred got into it with Serena, but sometimes, she just couldn't stand back and watch it happen.

"It wasn't Ethan."

"Who then?"

Emily shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She didn't want to get into this. She didn't want him trying to fix it. Not now. If he got involved, it would blow everything. She wasn't sure she could trust him yet, either. If she told him the truth, things would get out of hand, out of her control, and she wasn't ready for that yet. She could see Lee sensing her reluctance.

"You tried to stop the fighting the other night?" he asked, and she was surprised that he'd figured it out, but why wouldn't he? If not Ethan, who else would grab her like that?

"How did you...?" she trailed off. It seemed like a stupid question to ask.

"You just seem like the type of person who would," he said.

"I don't want you to do anything about it," she said, sensing he was going to offer and needing to derail that thought in his mind quickly.

"I won't unless you ask me to."

Emily took in the seriousness in her voice, and she knew he'd be in her corner if she needed him, no questions asked. She pressed her lips together and nodded, not knowing what else to say. What else was there to say? The truth was right there on the edge, ready to be told, but she held it back.

"Mum! We're going tubing!" Maya called. Emily opened her mouth to respond, but her daughter was already strapping herself into the spare lifejacket and bouncing around.

"You coming?" Lee asked, getting up. He offered his hand, and she hesitated before reaching to take it. It sent electrical jolts through her body as his fingers wrapped around hers. For once, she didn't fight it. She just went with the flow.

Present Day

Emily couldn't sleep. She stared at the ceiling in the dark and throbbed in pain from her injuries. Fred had thoroughly enjoyed giving them to her. She still didn't know how he'd found her. Church had sworn she'd be safe on the island, that Fred would never think to go back there because he didn't need to and because he, too, believed she was dead.

So what happened?

She turned over gingerly, wincing in pain. She wanted Lee badly. She wanted to feel his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She knew that was probably never going to happen, though. He was angry, and rightly so. She should have trusted him and told him. She wished she had.

Regardless, she was not leaving here until he heard the full story, no matter how long it took.