So one of my lovely readers requested a Hurt!Comfort with the title being Jealousy, she wanted to revisit Leo's jealousy of his brothers, particularly Mikey who's spiritual powers are blossoming.

"Well done, Michelangelo, your focus has truly improved. I'm very proud of you."

Mikey beamed at the praise from their father, his features glowing with a grin that stretched his mouth from ear to ear. However, unlike time's past, the turtle didn't hold it over his brothers' heads, but merely basked in the moment, giving a modest bow of thanks to their father. Leo felt warmth fill his chest, pride causing his own heart to swell. The youngest had worked very hard in the past few months, improving his ninjutsu and developing a keen spiritual sense that had already surpassed Leo's own. Not that he was surprised, Leonardo had always known that Mikey was attuned to the supernatural around them. His childlike belief in the impossible, paired with his limitless imagination, were just two of the many clues given that he was destined to become something of a mystic ninja. If he continued at this pace, then in no time at all, the orange turtle will pass up his eldest brother, and fly like a shooting star into his destiny.

A pinch twisted the back of the blue turtle's heart, making him wince. The grimace only graced his features for less of a millisecond, Leonardo quickly schooling his face back into a look of joy and pride. However, the darkness that he had thought long banished from his mind yawned in the deeper reaches of his thoughts. It's predatory gaze locked on the eldest, making his heart sink ever so slightly. Leonardo tried to shake it away, reminding himself that it was perfectly fine that Michelangelo was doing well in his training, especially after years of slacking off. The caves had really helped the youngest mature, in taking their ninjutsu training more seriously and striving to better his skills. So, the fact that he earned a compliment from Master Splinter was a win, not only for the orange ninja, but for their entire team. That's what Leonardo told himself.

This was fine. Really, it was absolutely fine. Totally, and utterly, fine.

Except it wasn't.

Fear crept across the back of Leo's mind, spilling down his spine like an errant ice cube, and suddenly Leo found it harder to breathe. Repressing a shudder, the eldest dared a glance at his brothers. He should have seen the strong siblings who had stood by him through the cave of trials, his stalwart team that had never abandoned him even when he was at his lowest. Unfortunately, once again the young leader only saw yet more examples of how he was falling behind. Raphael was stronger than ever, his physique intimidating and rugged, plus he'd been recently dominating the regular sparring sessions with his siblings. Donnie, making time for rest and healthy meals since the caves, was doing even better in his ninjutsu training, and had several new projects that baffled the small family. Mikey was excelling, both in ninjutsu, and in meditation. The youngest could even do the more basic forms of healing hands, something that not even Splinter was capable of, and Leo had never attempted. That thought alone made the rock in his gut even heavier, the chains of depression weighing down his shoulders.

His little brothers, Leonardo loved them fiercely. With a fire of devotion that could outshine the sun. So why was he struggling with these feelings of inadequacy again? And over a simple compliment? Shame scorched the turtle, burning the back of his throat and searing down his gullet. How pathetic was he, that he couldn't even cheer on his baby brother? Was he so fragile that a compliment made him feel less valuable than his siblings?

Shaking hands clenched into fists, and Leo chewed the inside of his cheek, desperately trying to shake the dark fears that were hunting him down. Unfortunately, like a fox running from a pack of baying hounds, all Leonardo was feeling was the hopelessness of failing his family yet again. He didn't have to be the best at everything, it wasn't about that. However, he'd long been the sibling who was relied on when they had questions about the mystical realm. It had been something that Leo appreciated, feeling like he was finally contributing something to the team. Now, though, he was feeling passed over, forgotten like Mikey's out of date N64 when April surprised him with a PlayStation 5 last christmas.

Closing his eyes, the eldest turtle pulled in a deep breath, once again striving to banish the negative thoughts. His family loved him, he reminded himself. He didn't have to be a spiritual guru, or the greatest mystic ninja to earn a place in this family. He led with honor, and his brothers trusted him. They had told him again and again, both in the cave of trials and since, that he was enough. That he didn't have to push himself the way he used to. The turtle couldn't help but deflate, though, as a small venomous thought whispered, if he had continued his old training regimen then maybe he wouldn't be falling behind again. Maybe he wouldn't be feeling so useless and out of place?

A traitorous thought, a horrible ambition, one he'd thought he'd destroyed. But…what if…. Could he pick up his training again? Stop taking days off, and just throw himself into training again, just long enough to catch up?

Leonardo's heart trembled at the silent suggestion. It would be breaking a promise though, and he never broke his promises. He had promised that he'd take it easier on himself, not driving himself into the ground. But, it wouldn't be for forever, right? He'd just get back into training enough to make up the ground he'd lost with his siblings. Surely, that wouldn't be too bad, right? He needed to keep the much older promise he'd made to his father first and foremost. The promise to protect and defend his brothers. He couldn't do that if he was falling behind.

Dizzy with the exhilaration of rebellion, Leo made the choice then and there. He would do extra training again. Not for forever, but just enough so he could catch up to his brothers. He would have to hide his activities, but he was certain he'd be fine. It was only temporary, anyway.

….

One month later

Michelangelo threw his comic book to the side, heaving out a groan. Baby blue eyes narrowed behind the orange mask, and the youngest turtle pouted at the ceiling in the lair. Something was wrong. Or, more accurately, something was wrong with Leo. Everyone had noticed. It was hard not to.

In the past month Leonardo had almost disappeared. Granted, he was still there in the morning, then for meals and for training. If you could call it a meal, Mikey groused silently, his big brother's appetite had shrunk to almost microscopic proportions. The eldest had lost weight, despite gaining some muscle, but Michelangelo wasn't an idiot, he'd seen how Leo's belt had gotten smaller. The leader thought he was being sneaky, but Mikey was a ninja too, and the family chef, it would be impossible for him not to notice his eldest brother suddenly stop eating. However, that wasn't the worst part. The dark circles were back under Leonardo's eyes, meaning he wasn't sleeping again. Plus, he never saw his brother on the weekends anymore, and at night, the siblings sometimes found their big brother's room empty. Something was wrong, and Mikey knew in his gut that they needed to step in before it become serious.

But how? Leo wasn't talking to them, which was a shock. Had they done something? Was he upset at them for something? Surely not. Leo wasn't acting like he normally did when he was mad, if anything he was spiraling kind of like he used to do before the caves. Baby blue eyes widened, and Mikey suddenly felt like he was on the verge of a revelation before getting startled out of his train of thought.

Raphael's booming war cry rang out in the lair, jarring Michelangelo, causing the terrapin to flip over on his stomach and assess the scene. In the main area designated for training that wouldn't fit inside the dojo, the same turtle Mikey had been worrying over was locked in a sparring match against Raphael. They were drenched in sweat, their muscles jumping in exhaustion as both tried to wear out the other and gain the upper hand. Raphael's liquid gold eyes were laser focused on Leo, not missing even a single twitch, the blue turtle, however, almost seemed out of it. His normally sharp sapphire gaze was glassy, unfocused and bleary. The youngest growled softly, sinking down to brace his chin on his arms, as he lay on the arm of the couch. What was wrong with their leader?

The same question must have been burning in Raphael's brain, because their resident hothead addressed Leo in panting gasps, "What's goin' on with ya, lately?" He asked, his usually brash features softening in worry, "The past month, every time I turn around, yer either gone from the lair, or trainin' in the dojo."

"I'm fine, Raph," Leo replied, his voice a breathless wheeze as he repositioned his katana into a more defensive stance.

"No, ya ain't," the red ninja growled, "fine doesn't make ya lose weight like ya have been, and it sure don't make ya get those dark rings under yer eyes."

Mikey gave a triumphant smirk, looks like even Raphael has noticed. Leo isn't as sneaky as he thinks, especially given that he lives with a family of ninja.

The young leader in question blew out a frustrated huff, wiping the excess sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, "I'm just training differently, nothing is wrong."

"Bull-crap,"

Michelangelo snickered, looks like the swear jar their father set up is also making an impact. He fully approved, considering that Raphael and Leo could have potty mouths when startled, the lair could use some cleaning up. Leonardo rolled his eyes at Raph's rejection of his reasoning, determined to stubbornly hold out against the interrogation. "You don't have to believe me, Raph, I'm just trying to do what needs to be done."

"What needs ta be done?" Raphael scoffed, "Accordin' ta who?"

"Doesn't matter," Leo replied with a shake of his head.

"Nah, I think it does matter. Come on, Leo, it don't take a genius ta see that somethin' is goin' on with ya. Yer actin' like ya used ta before the caves," The brawler paused, analyzing his leader, liquid gold gaze overflowing with worry, "Leo, ya said ya'd talk ta us back then, ya promised, so why are ya runnin' away from yer family?!"

Sapphire eyes went from narrowed, to blown wide in shock and…hurt? Shaking hands lowered the katana, and shoulders hunched in the unspoken need to hide. Shame flashed across the strong features, and Mikey sat up, mind buzzing as it looked like someone was finally making headway with their leader. Raphael, sensing the shift in the mood, slowly approached Leonardo, his face never losing its loving concern.

"Leo, ya promised," he repeated, softer this time, "honestly, yer worse than ya were before the caves. Ya went from barely eating, to hardly eating at all. Yer tired all the time, yer not focused, ya couldn't even make a solid plan when we were ambushed by purple dragons last night. Yer exhausted! Why won't ya talk ta us, ta me?"

The eldest hesitated, eyes unsure and vulnerable, a face that the siblings had become well acquainted with in the caves. Oh yeah, Michelangelo was more convinced now than ever that something was going on with him, something that Leo was aware of and was scared to admit. Leonardo's broad shoulders quivered, while the dark blue gaze fell to the floor. Nibbling on his bottom lip, the turtle drew in a breath, "Raph, I…"

"Leonardo,"

All three heads snapped to see their father approaching the living area, his cane tapping on the stone with each step, and Michelangelo had to bite back a groan of frustration at the interruption. "My son," the old rat said, cobalt eyes heavy with concern, "why are you sparring with your brother? Training has ended for the day."

"It's my fault, sensei," Raphael stated, amber gaze desperately trying to convey that they were having an important talk, "I asked Leo ta spar with me."

Unfortunately, Splinter didn't get the message. The rat paused, then addressed his eldest again, "Leonardo, I'm concerned for your health. I would like you to spend the remainder of the day resting, no more training, and no patrol tonight."

"But, Sensei-!"

"Yame!" Splinter cut in, hushing the blue ninja's argument, "You will go to your room, and sleep. Tonight, instead of patrolling, you will eat a full meal and then go to bed early."

"Go to bed early? Please, I'm not a child!" Leonardo snapped back, shocking himself and all watching. Even Donnie poked his head out of his lab to stare gobsmacked at their leader.

Mikey whimpered. This was starting to resemble the last lesson before Leo was sent to Japan. Evidently Leonardo thought so as well, as he immediately backpedaled, "I-I'm sorry, sensei," he gasped, sapphire eyes wide in horror and he hurried into a low bow, "I'll…I'll go do as you ask."

Turning on his heel, the leader sheathed his katana, then practically fled to his room, no doubt feeling the eyes following his progress. Mikey watched Raph's shoulders droop, and the red masked head gave a forlorn shake. The youngest sighed, his own heart heavy. Raphael had been so close to getting Leo to talk. Mikey understood Splinter's reasoning, he probably wasn't even aware that Raph was already about to find out what was going on with Leo. It wasn't their father's fault for accidentally causing their leader to blow up like that. If anything, it just proved them all right that Leo was struggling with something, and he needed help, as soon as possible.

….

Leonardo stuck his head out the door of his bedroom, looking either direction, before stealing out into the hall and towards the front door. His steps were ninja soft, not even the sound of the turtle's breaths disturbed the serenity of the lair. However, the eldest's normally razor sharp observation skills were too befuddled to notice he was, in fact, being hunted. Three shadows detached themselves from the wall, flitting down the corridor and haunted the steps of the blue warrior. Through tunnels, down pipes, and up ladders, the phantoms followed Leonardo, until he was running across the rooftops. Silent as ghosts, the figures said not a word. Moving as one, they simply followed the distraught teen, waiting for the right moment to announce their presence.

The young leader pelted across the skyline of New York City. His breaths were already diminishing into wheezing gasps, and the sapphire gaze hardened with frustration. He had barely begun his workout, and already his endurance was flagging. His body was exhausted from overuse the past month, and Leo had to acknowledge that his body was close to collapsing from the abuse. It needed rest. Not that he's been able to get any. He truly did try to obey Master Splinter that afternoon, however, he just couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned on his mattress, anxiety burning a hole into his gut screaming about how he was falling behind his brothers. Finally, he had flopped off the bed and proceeded to exercise the rest of the day on the floor of his bedroom. True, it wasn't as intense as it could have been with the weights they had at their disposal, but there was an upside to being a mutant turtle. Using his own body mass, not to mention his shell, as his exercise weight was efficient for his needs.

Leo groaned at himself, remembering how he'd exploded at his Father, and how he was worrying his brothers. Raphael had looked so afraid, an expression that did not suit their resident hothead at all. When he said that Leo was worse than he was before they'd gone through the caves, it felt like a punch to the gut. Leo swallowed the guilt that those words ignited in him, blinking away the angry tears burning in the corners of his eyes. If he was telling the truth, he was about to spill his guts to the brawler right then and there! He missed the freedom and openness that he'd enjoyed with his siblings, particularly Raph. Leonardo could count on one hand how many times they'd fought in the past six months since going to Japan. In fact, he couldn't remember their last fight, ever since the hothead decided to start listening to his siblings instead of punching them, a lot of the fights they used to have disappeared. It wasn't just Raphael, though. Having his brothers to lean on was such a weight off his chest, and having to go without that support just to try and catch up, the last four weeks had been miserable.

The edge of the roof came quickly, and Leo gathered the strength in his legs to jump across the gap. Flipping in a neat twist, the blue turtle landed on the next building, but his mind was too far away to notice the slight stumble.

He wanted to let his brothers back in, he missed their talks, he even missed being allowed to show his vulnerability to his family. In fact, Leo never realized just how badly he needed the heart to hearts, how badly he needed his brothers' support, until he experienced six months of amazing family unity. Instead of bottling up how he felt, he could approach Raph, or Donnie or Mikey, or even all three of his siblings and they'd sit down and listen. Raphael wouldn't give him a hard time, or make fun of him in a mean way. Donnie wouldn't make him feel stupid and Mikey rarely made a joke out of their talks. It was always a relief to get the negative emotions out and allow his family to give him the reassurance he needed. He honestly wished he had it now. The loss was like a knife to the heart.

Raph's face from their sparring session flashed back in his mind's eye, "Leo, ya said ya'd talk ta us, ya promised!"

Raphael was right, he had promised to talk to them, but he had no idea how to do that now. He had gone too deep. It started as a simple wish to catch up with his brothers' accomplishments. However, it spiraled out of control. Yet another thing Raphael was right about. He was much worse than he was before the trials in the caves. Even Leo wasn't so delusional to deny that fact. He knew his body was overworked and underfed, the anxiety and depression nipping at his heels making him lose what appetite his work outs stirred up.

"Leonardo, I'm concerned for your health…"

The mutant teen sighed. His father even looked scared, and with the way Leo snapped at him back in the lair, once again the teen couldn't fault his family for worrying.

The leader ducked his head, gritting his teeth as he slowed his run to a jog, revelation slapping him like a good drenching from a bucket of ice water. He was acting ridiculous. His brothers and father loved him, he didn't have to prove himself or work to be 'good enough' for them. He should have talked to his brothers about how he was feeling, instead of running from them again. Raphael had even gone out of his way to remind him that he didn't have to struggle alone. Leo sighed, strong arms wrapping around himself in a lonely hug. He was being a real idiot right now, and had been for the past month. Why had he even done this? He hadn't improved, if anything, he'd hurt his progress by not eating properly and denying his body the rest it required. Not to mention, Mikey hadn't made any further progress in his spiritual training because Leo hadn't made time to meditate with his baby brother. Which means that the sole reason for his success was because he was learning from his big brother, and in a fit of self pity, Leo had stunted that growth.

So, in essence, his bout of insecurity took a heavy toll on not only his family, but also his team.

Leonardo groaned as he came to a stop on a rooftop edge, dragging his hands down his face, and casting weary sapphire eyes onto the dark cityscape. Suddenly this entire month just felt like a childish temper tantrum. What was he thinking? It was one thing to up his training, it was another to completely lose his mind. His poor family, they probably thought he was spiraling like he did after the starship fiasco with the Shredder. No wonder Father looked so worried, and Raphael looked scared. Hands sinking down from his face, the turtle held them palm to palm, features losing their manic edge and becoming more determined. He needed to go home, and he needed to apologize, to Raph and then to his father. After that, he was going to suggest a trip to the farmhouse, they needed a small family vacation after the crazy month they've all had. Maybe then he can start repairing the damage he'd done.

Giving a firm nod, the terrapin turned to head back towards the lair. However, as Raph always said, turtle luck was often the worst kind of luck.

It only took a second, less even. Leo was turning, preparing himself for the walk home and the eventual apology, but the past month of misuse to his body made the turtle's usual grace unstable. His foot slipped, one moment of weakness, and the leader was tumbling. Panic overtook his senses, the fear he'd had of heights since childhood rearing it's ugly head, as gravity enacted it merciless law on his limbs. A breathless gasp, flailing hands, and Leonardo's nightmare of falling came true in stunning technicolor. The ground rushed up to greet him, his heart in his throat, and as the turtle brought his arms up to cover his head in preparation for his inevitable crash, he felt a calloused hand snatch his leg out of thin air.

Shoulders heaving with panic filled adrenaline, Leo peeked between his forearms. He was hanging upside down, his right leg in the grasp of a strained Michelangelo, the youngest gripping a small stone ledge with his other hand. The orange ninja's jaw was set in a determined snarl, his arms trembling with the effort to not drop his leader, and more importantly, not fall himself. Despite the gravity of the situation, Mikey spared an impish grin for the blue turtle, "How's it hangin, bro?"

Leonardo released a delirious giggle, relief that he was no longer falling battling with the strangling fear that he was still in a very precarious situation, "I'm doing a lot better now that you're here."

"Not just me," Mikey grinned, "Donnie and Raph are here too!"

"Don't worry, Leo!" Donatello called over the edge of the roof, "Raph is coming down now!"

True to the purple turtle's word, the large muscular frame of Raphael was quickly clambering down the side of the building, deft hands and feet finding purchase allowing for a swift descent. Leo closed his eyes, having made the mistake of looking down, as nausea churned his stomach making him dizzy. The ninjutsu master in his head chided himself for the mistake, and Leo would make time to feel embarrassed later. However, he couldn't deny the relief in knowing that despite being extremely stupid for sneaking out of the lair alone, his brothers cared enough to follow him. If they hadn't, this night would have gone very differently. The family would, very likely, had greeted the morning with one less turtle in the clan. That thought alone made Leo sick to his stomach with guilt.

"Raphie, could you step on it?" Mikey groaned, the shaking in his arms growing worse, "I'm…uh, well I'm losing my grip."

Leonardo bit back a strangled yelp as he felt Michelangelo's grasp on his leg slip down to his ankle. The blue warrior clenched his eyes shut, the trembling in his shoulders spreading down his arms, once again hiding his face behind muscled forearms. Raph gave a grunt of effort overhead, swinging himself down in an attempt to speed up, "I'm comin' Mike, just don't let go!"

"I'm fine, everything is fine, we're all going to be fine," Leo muttered to himself, fighting against his body as it started to hyperventilate.

"That's it, bro," Michelangelo encouraged, his tone a huff of sustained tension, "everything is gonna be fine, Raphie is almost down, then we'll go home, and we can have a long talk over a mug of hot cocoa."

"Only if I can have extra marshmallows," Leo quavered in a weak attempt at levity, determinedly not looking down.

From somewhere on his right, Leo startled at the sound of Raphael releasing a bark of laughter, "Ya can have all the marshmallows ya can handle, Leo," his gruff tone smiled, "but only if ya promise ta give us that talk."

"Don't worry," the young leader assured with a breathless chuckle, "I'm not planning on running away from you guys."

The mood shifted, and Leo couldn't help but grimace at the way he could palpably feel his brothers sag in relief. He'd done a number on them, hadn't he? "I'm so sorry guys," he muttered bitterly, guilt burning in his stomach, "I really made a mess of things, didn't I?"

A large hand grabbed Leo by the edge of his shell behind his head, careful to avoid touching the scarred section of his carapace, then heaved the turtle up. "Save it for the talk, Leo," the red ninja rumbled, voice softer than usual.

The blue ninja nodded, opening his eyes to look into the liquid gold and baby blue orbs of his younger siblings, both harboring worry and fear. Leo winced, he had done that. In a fit of feeling inadequate, he became a burden to his family, yet again. Pulling the eldest brother up onto the nearest ledge, the three turtles shimmied to a fire escape, hopping down with soft thuds onto the metal landings. Once on solid footing, Leonardo and Mikey released twin sighs of relief, both siblings shaking out the trembling in their hands. The blue warrior closed his eyes, pulling in deep breaths of cool night air. Raph and Mikey were nearby, but the jovial face that the youngest had been wearing disappeared, replaced by a distraught frown.

Leo leaned over, his big brother sense screaming to check on his sibling, "Mikey, you ok?"

Silence for five, ten, twenty seconds, then the orange turtle spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, "We almost didn't follow you, ya know? We almost decided to stay home and just have our talk in the morning."

Leonardo froze, heart sinking like a rock in the ocean his baby brother's words, "I'm glad you did," he stated simply, unsure of what to say to soothe the youngest, "I was turning to come back home when I…when my foot…" the teen mutant sighed, "I'm so sorry Mikey."

Michelangelo suddenly whirled around and released a heavy punch to Leonardo's shoulder. Raph and Leo jumped at the hit, as the youngest wasn't one known for violence, both jaws hanging slack in shock. Mikey could only glare at the blue turtle, eyes welling with angry tears, then he pulled in a ragged breath. "Don't you ever do that again!" He bellowed, "You could have died tonight! We could have lost you! And the worst part is we wouldn't have known!"

The orange ninja threw his hands up in the air, turning back to face the railing of the fire escape. Planting both fists on the metal bar, Mikey's head sunk down below his shoulders, the youngest brother struggling to compose himself, "You didn't check in with anybody, or leave a note!" Michelangelo's voice was small, his breathing ragged, tears streaming down his face, "You always tell us to check in with someone when leaving the lair, but you broke your own rules, and for what?! So you can spiral in again?

"I don't know what's been going through your head the past month, but it can't be bad enough that I lose my brother! You should have come to us, you should have talked to us before your head got this bad again!" Mikey turned back to face his leader, sky blue eyes begging his sibling to reassure him that this would never happen again, "You could have died, Leo! What could possibly be so horrible that you risk your own life? I don't know if you've gotten the memo yet, but I need my big brothers! All of them! You're irreplaceable, just like Raphie and Donnie are irreplaceable. Why would you do something so stupid?"

Leonardo's gaze fell as he hunched his shoulders, nodding in admission of his crime, "You're right," he rasped, slowly lifting repentant navy eyes to his baby brother, "I don't have an excuse for my actions tonight."

Michelangelo gave a heavy swallow, then took a deep steadying breath, "As long as you admit you were wrong," he sniffed, blinking the tears away, "but we're still going to have a long talk about why you've been acting so dumb lately, got it?!"

Leo nodded meekly, sapphire gaze falling back to their feet even as his mind began to drown in shame, "Ok,"

Silence stretched out, with the blue turtle drooping in self recrimination and the youngest still striving to compose himself. Eventually the brawler couldn't take it anymore, "Oh, for heaven's sake," Raphael growled, "hug 'im before he starts hatin' himself even more."

Mikey was more than happy to comply. Darting forward, he pulled his eldest brother into a tight embrace. Leo was startled, but not surprised by the action. Scarred arms rose to wind around Michelangelo's shell, returning the hug. The orange ninja nuzzled the broad shoulder his beak was buried against, sniffling back the torrent of emotions roiling inside. The eldest clutched the youngest, muscles bulging as he held his baby brother as tight as he could. Raphael stood nearby, allowing the two to have their moment, that is, until the hothead was pulled into the hug by his siblings.

"Aw, come on," Donatello whined from above, "why are you having the group hug without me?!"

Leo and his brothers burst into weak chuckles at the middle child's complaint, taking just one more moment in the huddle before separating. As the blue and orange ninjas made their way back up to the rooftop, Raphael allowed himself a small smile. They had Leo back, and after they had their talk, things would go back to normal. This time, however, Raph would make sure that the good changes stick.

To my reader who requested Jealousy, I hope I did your idea justice!

Thank you for reading, and please leave a review!