Hello everyone! Yes, I know….it's another bonus chapter, but this one literally grabbed me by the face and demanded I write it. I whined at my muse asking that they intervene, but I was ignored. So, here we go!
"And right over here, we have the bridge. This is the command center of our ship, where I and my fellow Utrom will be able to chart our progress across the galaxy."
Leo sighed, cheeks growing weary with the pleasant smile he had plastered across his face. Master Splinter stood nearby, his furry features serious as he listened to their tour guide while his brothers, with the exception of Donnie, having long abandoned the pretense of excitement. Even he, the leader of his intrepid team, was wishing for a rescue from the monotony. However, that hope seemed dim, and Leonardo resigned himself to another hour or two listening with only half an ear to the excited ramblings of an alien. Honestly, this all sounded so much more fun in the invitation than it was turning out to be in real life.
No, the prospect of touring the spaceship of their friend and ally Mortu was something that sounded exciting, not something he'd consider an inconvenience, or a chore.
His whole family had jumped at the chance when invited to be present on the ceremonial launching of the newly refurbished cruiser, and they would even be escorted to the Utrom home world for a small festival in celebration of the event. Splinter also felt it necessary they attend, especially after learning that it was being renamed the Hamato, in memorial of Master Yoshi as well as in gratitude of their own efforts to assist the aliens against the Shredder. They were beyond honored at the prospect of their family name emblazoned on the side of a battleship, and Donnie was practically salivating in his wish to explore the vessel. However, the tour was going on and on, with them being shown every single room on the ship, and even the scion of their small ninja clan was ready for it to end. Truthfully, there were few things Leonardo found as tedious as feigning interest in a subject he'd long gotten bored with.
Not that he'd admit it out loud.
No, Leo was being a proper son, honoring his father and performing his filial duty for the good of the clan.
Never before had Leonardo wished he could trade places with Mikey as ardently he did now. When was Mortu going to stop talking?
"Now, if you follow me, we can tour the lower levels."
Leonardo stifled another weary sigh, following their host down the brightly lit hall and into an elevator. A soft whoosh, accompanied by a weightless feeling of falling in his stomach, the group began their descent. During the lull in conversation, the eldest held a quick headcount, ensuring that none had fallen behind. There was Donatello, still drinking in the sights with the wonder of a child in a candy store. Raphael stood leaning against the wall behind him, eyes dull, and fingers fidgeting for something to occupy them. Michelangelo seemed the most unbothered, the youngest had headphones strung around his neck, softly playing K-pop, while the orange clad turtle scrolled through his phone.
Leo gave a fond shake of his head, count on the youngest to get away with being on his phone while with company. Mikey, sensing he was being watched, glanced up only to freeze when he made eye contact with their leader. Guilt at not paying attention, along with shame at being caught, warred on the youngest's features. However, Leonardo was quick to send a playful smirk to his baby brother. Mischief quickly replaced the nervousness, and Michelangelo tapped something out on his phone. The blue ninja's shell cell vibrated, and Leo bit back a smile as he pulled out the device as surreptitiously as possible.
"You as bored as I am?"
The leader gave a silent huff of laughter, then double checked to ensure he wasn't being watched before typing his reply, "Yes"
One side of Mikey's mouth twitched into a smirk, gaining Raphael's attention. The brawler leaned over, reading the text sending topaz eyes bouncing up to meet sapphire, before a green finger punched out a short message, "Are we there yet?"
Leo stifled a chuckle, preparing to answer but hurriedly put the phone away as their descent began to slow. Elevator coming to a stop, their group was deposited into the lower levels of the ship. The blue ninja threw one last private grin at his brothers as he turned back towards the front where Master Splinter walked besides Mortu. It was then that the young leader felt his breath catch and his mouth dry, as the doors opened to reveal a room straight out of his nightmares, or more accurately, his memories. The room had a clean, sleek design, with a center panel and railings keeping the crew from walking off the narrow paths across a cavernous chasm below. White walls accented by pristine steel, while bright lights blinked on the center console. In short, it looked exactly like the engine room where they fought the Shredder that fateful night, well over a year ago.
Leonardo swallowed, tongue heavy as lead and throat parched as the desert. His right arm quickly swung around to stifle the shaking he could feel building in his left hand. He could handle it. This was just a room. Besides, his brothers had suffered much worse than he had, and they were fine. Donnie was inspecting the center console, and Mikey and Raph were leaning against the railing looking down at the space below the platform they were walking on. Even Master Splinter was calm and collected, sticking close to their host as they discussed the various improvements and upgrades put into the ship. He had no reason to feel this surge of panic and anxiety flooding his entire nervous system. None. Whatsoever.
"While an old design, this engine room will more than satisfactorily serve our crew!" Mortu exclaimed, robotic body striding across the floor, "currently, its one of the less common seen among the Utrom, but I've always been, as your sons might say, old school. I'm partial to it as this model has been more dependable than even some more modern engine designs."
"Fascinating," Donatello murmured across the room, his full attention on the console, green fingers hovering over the keyboard.
Michelangelo and Raphael stood close, their broad shoulders brushing together, the youngest hunching the slightest bit while shifting his weight from foot to foot. "So," Mikey attempted, voice full of forced cheer, "you guys got a cafeteria on this thing?"
Raphael could only roll his eyes, however, before Mortu could answer, the lights flickered, the room falling into darkness, accented only by red emergency lights illuminating the space. "Ah, I'm sorry," their host began, voice sheepish, "as I said, it is an older model, however, it's nothing to be concerned over. Even in newer ships, when testing the engines and preparing for launch, some fluctuations in power are to be expected."
Over near the elevator, Leo felt his heart rate pick up, the phantom smell of burnt hair assailing his nostrils. Looking to his left, the child warrior blinked hard as he could have sworn he saw a form flicker in the corner of his eye, casting a shadow on the wall that looked frighteningly familiar. Ghostly yells and screams built in the recesses of his mind, the sounds of his family's bones breaking as the Shredder took them apart one by one. Casting his eyes about, Leonardo searched for an exit, backing up until his shell touched the closed doors of the elevator shaft. A trembling hand groped along the wall, searching for a button or panel that would call the lift back down.
"It appears the elevators are unresponsive," a nameless Utrom assisting in the tour reported, "however, the bridge stated that they are conducting a brief test of the emergency systems, the main power will be back online momentarily."
"Thank you," Mortu nodded, then turned back to the small family, "I apologize my friends, for the moment, please be patient as the bridge finishes the test."
Harsh bellowing beeps echoed through the space, making the mutants cover their ears, while flashing yellow lights appeared on the walls, strobing out a warning. The blue ninja jolted at the sound, hands raising into a defensive cross over his plastron, drowning in the tsunami of panic overwhelming his senses. Leonardo's vision was tunneling at this point, warping into a horrifying amalgamation of past and present, pulling the teen ninja down into a spiral of terror, "We need to get out," he gasped, voice merely a tremulous whisper, "it's not safe."
Michelangelo noticed the eldest's disquiet, features wreathed in worry, as he hurriedly left his spot by Raphael and approached Leo, "Dude, you ok, bro?" He asked in an urgent tone, reaching out to his big brother.
Leonardo flinched as he felt a hand grasp his shoulder, thankfully it was his good one, the other side was still oozing blood, throbbing in pain around the cold bite of steel. Or was it? The young leader shook his head, gritting his teeth and clenching his hands into fists. Wide sapphire eyes rose to meet innocent baby blue, and confusion once again smothered the teen, "Mikey?" He quavered, vaguely acknowledging that his shoulders had begun to shake as much as his hands, "how are you standing? Your legs, you need to sit down, you're going to hurt yourself even worse."
Mikey's eyes darkened with concern, quickly turning to call over to their purple clad brother, "Donnie, I think something's wrong."
A calloused hand pressed against his neck, even as a harsh shudder stole through Leo's frame, jittering down his spine. Sounds were growing fuzzy, Michelangelo's voice fading away like a radio sinking under water, slowly dissolving into static. "Leo," Donnie's clinical tone barely broke through the fog, but it was distant, like calling across a canyon, "I need you to breathe, ok, aniki? Deep breaths! In and out, I need you to follow my rhythm."
Donatello's hand pressed against the leader's plastron, pulling the trembling hand to touch his own. Leonardo couldn't concentrate on that, though. Armor clanked closer to him, the metallic sheen glinting in the lights, until the tall figure stood beside him. Stark terror froze the blood in his veins, a strangled whimper wheezed from the constricted throat. Leo slid down the elevator doors, his knees buckling, until he sat hunched in a ball on the floor. "We're going to die," Leo gasped, "oh God, we're going to die."
Muscled arms wound around the convulsing frame, pulling him into a warm embrace, but the sapphire gaze was lost in a waking dream overflowing with fear and pain, "Leo! Come on, bro, ya gotta snap out of it!" The brawler bellowed, straining to be heard over the sirens.
Leonardo jolted at the harsh tone. Raphael screamed back then too, or did he? No, he definitely screamed, the Shredder had just knocked him against the center console. Which was still in one piece. Wait, didn't Raph's shell crash it? It should be cracked and smoking, and how was Raphael next to him? He should be unconscious on the floor? Leonardo was losing any concept of reality, everything was blurring together in a giant nauseating swirl, "Raph," Leo stammered, his words starting to slur as the last of his vision spun into vapors of smoke and spotty color, "hel-lp,"
"Aniki," the husky Brooklyn accent pleaded, so rare was it that the hotheaded turtle would call Leo by the Japanese term of endearment, that the leader found himself wondering at what would cause Raphael to sound so worried, "please, yer safe, nothin' is comin' after us. Ya gotta snap out of it."
Raph, Raph was calling him. Just like the rest of his family, lying on the ground beaten and burned. Leonardo flinched as the smell of burnt hair made him cough and gag, the shrieking alarms and strobing yellow lights, accompanied by the darkness and dim red emergency lights. The young leader shuffled further into the arms holding him, trying to escape the danger that he knew existed inside that room, until he could only curl up into a ball. Oxygen was suddenly too precious, green fingers clawed at his throat and plastron, even as broad shoulders heaved with panicked gasps. Someone, or something, caught his hands in a strong grip, forcing them away from his throat. Leo fought back, still unable to regain control of his breathing, vision growing fuzzy as black crept across the periphery of his vision.
Warmth streamed down his cheeks, was it tears or blood? Leo couldn't remember. Everything was falling away, he was being sucked into a hole, gravity was increasing on him, stealing his breath. Sounds too loud. The smell of burnt hair. The sensation of a blade piercing through his plastron and leaving a scar on his shell and soul. He could hear them. His family calling for him to fix it, to save them out of an impossible situation again, pleading as they dragged their broken bodies across the floor. They were screaming. The shrieks wouldn't end, the pain of the explosion, the cold of space. It was too much. His heart couldn't take much more, it was thundering in his ears, banging out an uneven rhythm that burned and stabbed with every beat.
He couldn't breathe.
He Couldn't Breathe!
….
Donatello shouldn't have been surprised that the engine room looked like the one on the Shredder's ship. He was Utrom, so it was natural that certain design choices would overlap. However, he couldn't deny the shiver that slunk down his spine at the sight of the room.
The scientist gave a heavy swallow, feeling himself pulled to the center console, so similar to the one where Leonardo had given him the dreaded order that still rung out in his nightmares. Shaking fingers hovered over the buttons, remembering how broken Leo sounded when he said to overload the engines and make them blow, how even Mikey's face became so uncharacteristically serious. The family had resigned themselves to death in that moment. Accepting that a universe without the Shredder, at the expense of their own lives, was worth the sacrifice. None had thought about survival, or the recovery that followed. If they had, would they have been more prepared for the fallout of the eldest? Would they have been able to help him more? Probably not.
Donnie gave a distressed chew to his bottom lip, considering all that had transpired in the time between facing the Shredder and how the mere act of surviving was what almost destroyed their family.
Of all the turtles, no one would have pegged that Leo would be the one to almost lose himself. Even Raphael had made a mumbled comment, during an altogether too quiet family dinner, that it should have been him to lose control not the most zen member of the clan. Donatello breathed a shaky sigh, honestly, it was a miracle that they all didn't have worse PTSD than they already had. Not that Donnie was one to talk, he had more than enough trauma from the alternate future he never wanted to see, thank you very much. Especially with his genius level intellect constantly screaming at him about how it may be unavoidable. That all his calculations, all his predictions and preparations, may just be pointless at the end of the day. That some point in the future, his family will be shattered beyond repair, and they would die in a suicide mission to bring the Shredder down for good. The scientist gripped his Bo staff, as he considered the unpredictable or the inevitable future ahead, and if it contained his worst fears.
Donatello shuddered at the thought.
Lost in the massive corridors of his own mind, the purple ninja flinched when the lights flickered and then turned off, wide brown eyes shooting skyward in silent confusion.
"Ah, I'm sorry," their host began, voice sheepish, "as I said, it is an older model, however, it's nothing to be concerned over. Even in newer ships, when testing the engines and preparing for launch, some fluctuations in power are to be expected."
On instinct, the scientist cast his eyes to the nearest exit, that being the elevators. However, they appeared offline, a hypothesis proven correct not even a moment later. "It appears the elevators are unresponsive, however, the bridge stated that they are conducting a test of the emergency systems, and the main power will be back online momentarily."
Donnie sighed, if they were testing emergency systems then he'd better brace for-yep, there it was, the alarm sirens were going. The scientist grit his teeth, pressing his hands into the sensitive ear slits on the sides of his head. However, Donatello's attention was quickly garnered by the movement of his youngest sibling. Mikey's normally cheerful features were shuttered, baby blue eyes intent on something near the back of the group. Donatello followed the retreating form of the youngest, brown eyes narrowed in the dim lighting, noting that Raphael was close behind Mikey.
Stepping between various unknown Utrom who had joined in on the tour, Donnie and Raph edged their way through the group, hands still clamped to their heads. The warning signals continued to glare out their bellowing call, and Donatello could already feel a migraine blossoming behind his eyes and under his ears. Eventually, the middle children made their way through the gloom and found themselves next to Michelangelo and Leo, but the state of their leader had the hearts of both purple and red freezing over in concern.
He was almost unrecognizable from where he stood, with wide, fearful sapphire eyes, and trembling hands held defensively in front of himself. He looked more like a child hiding from the boogeyman under the bed. Mikey had one hand on Leo's shoulder, lips moving as he asked him something, but the blue ninja merely cast a confused gaze on the youngest, voice inaudible as he replied. Harsh trembling stole across the broad shoulders, shaking the normally strong frame, making it shudder as if from a severe chill. Michelangelo reared back, eyes wide in confusion and fear, as Leo finished speaking, his words lost to the blaring alarms. The orange clad turtle whirled around, relief filling the blue eyes when they connected to Don's brown.
"Donnie," he called, straining to be heard above the resonating beeps, "I think something's wrong!"
The scientist didn't hesitate to shift over to medic, pushing forward to check on his leader. Back smashed against the metal elevator doors, Leonardo's pupils were blown wide, no doubt adrenaline was rushing through his veins if the panicked gasps were anything to go by. However, his eyes were dull, unfocused and glassy. As if Leo was seeing something they weren't. Reaching out to place his fingers on the pulse point of Leo's neck, Donatello bit back a curse as he felt the far too fast heartbeat of his brother. Apparently, being in a room that looked so much like the one they almost died in, and then dealing with the stresses of an impromptu emergency systems test, were not conducive to Leo's healthy state of mind. If Donnie had to theorize what was happening, he'd bet his best blowtorch that his big brother was trapped in a PTSD induced flashback.
"Leo," Donatello tried to keep the worry out of his voice, striving for a soothing neutral that wouldn't stress his leader more than he already was, "I need you to breathe, ok, aniki? Deep breaths! In and out, I need you to follow my rhythm."
Don pulled his hand down from his leader's neck, to press his palm flat on the billowing plastron. Leo didn't seem to understand, the turtle's eyes only got impossibly wider, his breath coming in ever more erratic gasps. The scientist quickly grasped one of the trembling hands, bringing it towards him and flattening it against his own chest, as he mimicked deep breaths. For a moment, Leo's eyes sharpened, and Donatello thought he was getting through, but that hope was dashed when he noticed that his big brother was watching something approaching them. Sparing a fleeting glance over his shoulder, the scientist allowed a growl past his lips, knowing it couldn't be heard in the din. Mortu was approaching them, and in his robotic body, without any synthetic flesh to appear human, the red and strobing yellow lights glinting off the metal; it didn't take a genius to know why Leo couldn't take his eyes off the alien.
"Get back!" Don cried, waving his arm at the Utrom, voice cracking as he tried to be heard above the alarms, "Something's wrong with Leo, you need to stay back!"
Unfortunately, the damage had been done. Donatello barely had enough time to catch his brother as Leonardo's knees buckled. Diving forward, the scientist assisted his brother, allowing him to slide down to the floor, carapace scraping the wall until he was a shivering ball on the walkway. Don noticed Leo's lips moving, and leaned forward, trying to catch what he was saying. Soft as a whisper, barely discernible above the alarms, the purple ninja heard the voice of his brother. His voice reduced to a trembling sob, "We're going to die, oh God, we're going to die."
As if his heart wasn't broken enough for the eldest as it was, but the family medic didn't have time to dwell on that, as a red clad turtle grasped his shoulder, "Donnie, what's goin' on?!" Raphael squeezed in close, bellowing his question into the scientist's ear.
The purple ninja shook his head, "Leo's spiraling in a flashback," he shouted back, "this room, the lights, the noise, it's triggering a post traumatic response, we got to get his heart rate down!"
"And how do we do that?" Came the snapped response, liquid gold eyes pleading for an answer to help their brother.
"Ground him!" Don answered, "Physical sensation should help bring him back to reality!"
Raph paused, then nodded. He knew what to do. As the strongest turtle in the clan, he was always the one called into med bay to hold down a sibling that was incoherent but needed immediate medical attention. He was also the only brother capable of holding down Leo without hurting him or getting hurt himself. Thankfully, this time wouldn't call for that, though. Kneeling down next to the struggling eldest, Raphael wrapped his leader in one of his famous hugs, rubbing warmth back into the cold arms, "Leo! Come on, bro, ya gotta snap out of it!"
The eldest flinched, but didn't pull away, frightened sapphire eyes slowly rising to meet liquid gold, "Raph," he gasped, tears overflowing the blue mask and dribbling down pale cheeks, "hel-lp,"
Raphael felt his heart shatter at the helpless tone his brother used, as if he was holding on by only the barest of threads, unable to stand against the raging storm. He hadn't seen that look on Leo's face, that vulnerability and raw terror, since the caves. Pulling his big brother close, Raph touched their foreheads, trying to impart a measure of strength into the blue ninja, "Aniki," he tongue almost tripped over the seldom used term of endearment, however, Raphael was not to be dissuaded, "please, yer safe, nothin' is comin' after us. Ya gotta snap out of it."
The musky scent of their father's fur wafted close, and the brawler turned his face in time to see Master Splinter kneeling down with his children, "Leonardo, my son," the rat mourned, stroking the eldest's cheek, "you must come back to us!"
"Come on, Leo, you can do it," Mikey urged, voice barely discernible over the alarms, "please bro, just come back!"
Somehow, their voices only seemed to make it worse. Fresh waves of tears streamed down the pallid cheeks, even as Leo gasped for air. Pitiful whines and whimpers, covered by the shrieks of the beeps, but still heard by his family wheezed through clenched teeth. Long legs curled up into a ball, as green hands clutched at the heaving plastron, scratching and clawing as he struggled to draw breath. Donatello panicked, as he watched his eldest brother's movements become erratic, the fingernails leaving welts and scratches on the sensitive skin of Leonardo's neck. If he continued like that, he'd hurt himself.
"Aniki!" Donnie cried, grabbing at Leo's hands only to cry out in shock when the young leader ripped them away, shuffling further back into Raphael's grasp.
Raphael grabbed Leo's hands, pinning them against the convulsing chest, until just as the breaths reached a billowing peak, finally it ended, leaving the leader collapsed within himself. The shaking frame sagged as it fell against the red ninja's chest, trembles dying down to twitches, and the breaths evening out from ragged inhales back into a natural rhythm. Donnie felt for a pulse, and breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the previously pounding heartbeat slow into a throb. While he wasn't happy that Leo passed out, it was probably for the best. He certainly didn't want a repeat of what had happened in the caves, God knew how he'd explain that to Master Splinter, especially since they still hadn't admitted that part to him yet.
As if the room sensed that the crisis had passed, the lights flickered back on, and the alarms finally died, leaving only ringing in the ears of the occupants in the engine room.
Mortu stood near, his face wreathed in worry and guilt, "I'm so sorry," he stated, tone barely above a whisper, "I didn't know…didn't think…this is similar to his ship, isn't it?"
Splinter sighed, a tender finger wiping away any evidence of tears from Leonardo's unconscious face, "Yes," the rat nodded, voice heavy with remembered pain, "and it was in a room like this one where we had to make a most difficult choice."
"Ya mean, where Leo had ta make a choice," Raphael muttered bitterly, beak twisting in remorse over how helpless they were at helping the blue warrior.
Raph bit back an angry growl, stifling the fury that wanted to take over in deference to the fragile form in his arms. As much as he didn't want to admit it, as much as it pained him to say to himself, Raph had never been so terrified as he had been just a few moments ago. Yeah, he'd been scared for his brother's sakes, they'd all taken turns screaming each other's names, thinking their siblings hurt, or dead. Raph had even thought that the caves was the worst he'd ever seen of Leo, considering how out of control he was. But after seeing his leader go into such a state of panic, eyes wild with animalistic fear and lacking the calm strength Leonardo was known for; there was no getting around it, the brawler was shaken.
He thought he knew, he thought he was aware of the demons lurking in Leo's heart and head, but apparently he wasn't. Yeah, Leo had talked to them about the problems he dealt with in feeling like a failure, especially after they almost died while trying to defeat their greatest enemy. The night after coming back from the caves, the four brothers had sat on the roof of the Ancient One's home, stargazing but mostly talking. It was in those hours between dusk and dawn that Leo softly admitted to his brothers some of his darkest secrets. Explained nightmares, and fears, allowed tears to fall, didn't pull away when his brothers held him through moments of emotional weakness. Raphael thought he'd come to understand all that needed to be known that night, but the stark reality was, that Leo held more pain than any of them could comprehend, and it scared the hothead.
Leonardo's head lolled in Raph's embrace, feeble tremors shaking the well muscled frame, and grief gripped the red ninja's heart. The promise he made back in the caves rung through his memory, pricking his conscience. Leo wouldn't want to wake up from such a horrific experience here, surrounded by strangers. They needed to get him somewhere safe, where his brother can recover in private. Setting his jaw into a determined scowl, Raphael shifted his older brother in his arms, cradling him against his broad chest, before standing up and turning back to his family, "Let's get Fearless somewhere he can rest, I don't figure the floor is the best place for him,"
"Of course," Mortu agreed, quickly pressing a panel to call for the elevator, "I'll take you to the living quarters we set up for guests."
….
Leonardo slowly came to, body heavy, and muscles sore as if he'd just finished running a marathon. Despite just waking up, the turtle felt incomprehensible fatigue weighing down his limbs. He wanted to just leave his eyes closed and drift off on the soft cloud of blissful sleep, however, the need to check his siblings, as always, superseded everything else.
Forcing his eyelids open, the young leader found himself lying down on what seemed to be a bunk bed of sorts, stowed away in a small room, with the lights dimmed but not off. As he lay there, Leonardo took stock of his location, trying to remember how he'd come to be there. As far as he could figure, he must be in one of the guest rooms the Utrom had built on the ship. It made sense, as he could hear the dull roar of the engines, and the almost imperceptible sway as the cruiser cut through space. That must mean they were on their way to the Utrom home world, which means that the ship had already launched. This was a rather distressing thought as the teen couldn't remember said launch. Why couldn't he remember, and where were his brothers? He needed to get up and find out what happened.
That being said though, Leo wasn't entirely ready to move yet. The mattress was comfortable, and Leo found that he'd been tightly swaddled in a thick blanket, soft plush brushing pleasantly against his cheek.
"Aw, come on, seriously?"
Sapphire eyes widened as Michelangelo's unmistakable voice echoed from the floor next to the bed. Shifting closer to the bedside, Leonardo glanced over and found his younger siblings all seated on the floor, a deck of cards dealt between them. Mikey was lamenting as Raphael grinned, both presenting their hands, "Read 'em and weep, Mikey," the brawler said with a dark chuckle, "my Straight Flush beats yer Two Pair, easy!"
"Honestly," the youngest pouted, "for someone without sleeves, you play a pretty shady game of poker, Raphie!"
"Ha!" The red ninja guffawed, "Like I need ta cheat ta beat you?"
"I dare you to say that again," Michelangelo retorted, his voice taking on an exaggerated Hispanic accent, "but this time, say it to my face!"
"I'll say it ta yer face as many times as ya want," Raph bit back, mouth stretched in a wicked grin, "I don't need ta cheat ta beat the likes of you, lamebrain!"
"Excuse me, gentlemen," Donnie broke in, his voice soft and smug, "but I have yet to reveal my hand?"
The red ninja scoffed, waving away the scientist, "Whatever, Donnie, the only way ya beat my hand is with a Royal Flush, and ya ain't got that. No way."
"Don't be so sure," Donatello laid out his cards, proudly presenting the Royal Flush for all to see, prompting Raphael to throw his cards down in a fury, "I believe the term you used was, 'read them and weep'?"
"No way," the hothead growled, "I watched those cards, I shuffled them myself, so no way do ya get a Royal Flush?!"
"Never question the cards," Mikey said in a spooky voice, wiggling his fingers eerily through the air, "or you'll end up in the shadow realm!"
Raphael slapped the youngest on the back of the head, reveling in the startled yelp it elicited, "Wrong card game, birdbrain."
Leo couldn't hold back a chuckle as he watched mikey retort by sticking out his tongue with a vehement raspberry, a fond smile lighting his features. The soft sound garnered the attention of his brothers, three pairs of eyes swinging around to meet the gaze of the eldest.
"Leo!"
Don was on his feet, stepping over the card game to gingerly sit down on the bed, a practiced eye gauging Leo's current state, "Well," the family medic began, a relieved smile replacing the previous frown, "you certainly look better."
Confused dread washed over Leonardo like a cold ocean wave, starting at his head and traveling down to his toes, "Better?" He asked, clearing his throat as it protested him talking, "What do you mean, Don?"
His younger brother pulled back, a soft inhale through his nose clueing in the young leader that something very wrong had happened. Donnie had that tic, where whenever he had to do something unpleasant, but necessary, he'd always pull in a steadying breath. As if bracing for a plunge off a cliff. The dread coiling in Leonardo's gut immediately morphed into fearful anxiety.
"What. Happened?" Leo asked, trying to rally his weak voice into something like his usual tone of authority used during patrol.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Donatello asked slowly, brown eyes softening in empathy.
The sapphire gaze fell to the floor, as the eldest struggled to pull his most recent memory to the top of the mud slog currently inhabiting his brain, "We were in the elevator," he began, voice hesitant as he pieced it together, "Mortu was taking us on a tour of the ship, and we were going down to the lower levels, into the…engine…room…"
Oh….oh no….
…..
Michelangelo watched as Leo's face paled, horrified shock screaming behind wide navy eyes. Oh yeah, his brother remembered now.
The leader slowly curled up under the blanket, silently pulling the edge over his head, in an unspoken plea to hide. "Please don't look at me". Mikey remembered hearing his brother say those words back in the caves. He could still see Leo standing in the tunnel, covering his face with both hands, mortified at his lack of control. Now, their big brother was right back in that cave, maybe not physically, but emotionally the guy may as well have gotten sucker punched. What was worse, he didn't have the excuse of a crazy cave spirit messing with his head, and if that wasn't bad enough, he was probably realizing right about now just who all saw him lose it.
"Leo?" Don asked, placing a gentle hand on the now quivering shoulder under the blanket.
At first nothing, only silence, and then several heartbeats later, "What did Dad say?"
Mikey gave a heavy swallow at the fearful tone, unsuited to the strong leader he loved and respected, even as the brothers drooped in response to the quiet question. Of course, Leo would be concerned about what Master Splinter thought. Heck, they'd all worry about that if it were any of them in his place. However, Mikey couldn't help but sigh at his brother. Typical that Leonardo would worry about about how others felt before even considering himself, especially after an honestly horrible experience. It was perfectly natural to be an emotional wreck during something like that, but of course Mr. Calm-and-Collected wouldn't allow himself the grace to acknowledge he couldn't be perfect all the time. Why couldn't he understand that no one looked down on him for his perfectly understandable struggles? Mikey shook his head and drew in a deep breath, forcing the turmoil of emotions back down. Constructive criticism wasn't what Leo needed right now. He needed the support of his family and reassurance that no one faulted him for what happened.
Michelangelo scooted closer to the bed, eyes pinned on the area of blanket that he assumed Leo's face was under. "I'm not gonna lie, bro," the youngest rasped, his own voice subdued with grief, "he was pretty worried, but he didn't really say much, mostly just to watch over you."
"….Is…." Leonardo began, his voice catching in his throat, sounding so young, "is he mad?"
"What? No!" Don broke in, squeezing the shoulder he still had his hand on, "Why would he be mad?"
"I don't…I don't know," the blanket billowed softly as the leader shook his head under the material, "but, I'm just….I probably embarrassed him."
"No one is embarrassed," Raphael stated, tone firm and final, before giving a consolatory smile, "except you, that is."
"Raphie is right," Mikey nodded, uncaring that the eldest couldn't see his expression, "no one blames you Leo, it was a crazy situation that no one could have planned for. If anything, everyone was just worried and wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Exactly," Donnie agreed, "even Mr. Mortu was ready to end the tour so we could take you somewhere more private."
An embarrassed whine slowly drifted up from the blanket, the shape beneath curling into an even tighter ball, "That's right," Leo moaned, "he was there, wasn't he? Shell, I probably looked pathetic."
The blanket covered head bowed, tucking further into itself, and Mikey finally couldn't hold back any longer. The orange ninja crept up until his elbows rested on the soft mattress, and then used a finger to pull the blanket away from his brother. The material fell away, revealing the eldest laying on his side, hands covering his face, mouth set in a bitter snarl of self loathing. Crawling up onto the bed, Mikey situated himself between Leo and the wall, wrapping an arm around his big brother. Bracing a cheek on the cold, hard carapace, the youngest could only breathe as he lent abnormally silent support.
Donatello and Raphael also fell quiet. Their gaze heavy with grief, hands reaching out to grip the eldest, silently letting him know he wasn't alone. Leo didn't respond, but Mikey could almost feel his leader's heart sinking deeper as hopelessness wrapped its icy chains around his heart. The orange ninja breathed a sorrowful sigh, nuzzling his brother's shell. What do you say to a warrior who's been betrayed by their own body? To a master of the blade who'd honed his skills over the course of the past decade, forcing his body into compliance, making it submit until he held complete control over the smallest twitch; but now lay in defeat at its rebellion? Honestly, Mikey didn't have a clue, and he now felt that too much talking might make the moment even harder on his leader. So, he lay there, holding the struggling teen, praying that his brother would realize that he was loved, and that no one blamed him for things beyond his control.
That's when inspiration struck.
Leo didn't want anyone to look at he's weakness. He wanted to move past it. So, why not give him what he wants and change the topic?
"You know," Mikey began, nervously licking his lips at the metaphorical limb he was climbing out on, "there are much better ways of ending a boring tour, Leo. I mean, I was ready to flip if Mortu didn't stop talking anytime soon, but I never expected you to be the one to take one for the team."
The three younger siblings held their breath, waiting to see Leo's reaction to the comment. Each praying that he wouldn't allow the depressive guilt to eat him alive. However, as the seconds ticked by, a slow change overtook the eldest turtle. It started with a shudder in his shoulders, that traveled up into his throat and bubbled out as a laugh. Eventually, the leader was shaking, but not in fear or embarrassment, no, this time it was from the chuckles drifting between the green hands covering his face, "He really was taking forever, wasn't he?"
Grins flashed around the room, the palpable tension dissipating as the brothers relaxed. Leo had accepted the olive branch. Sure, tonight would be awkward, and the young leader would find himself leaning on his brothers for strength when uncomfortable questions popped up in conversation, and Leo would even unintentionally avoid talking to Mortu for the next couple days. However, the worst was past. Now they just needed to focus on doing what they do best, coming together as a family. For, as long as they had each other, there wasn't a blessed thing in the universe that could ever stand against them.
I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! I appreciate all the lovely reviews and until next time, have a fabulous week!