NEVER SAY NEVER

CH 25 Wake Up Calls

Author's Note: Thursday, August 21, - Friday, August 22, 1919

Elizabeth spent all night looking through her old journals wishing she had done it sooner because she could see now that there were a lot of gaps in them after the hug in the street. In fact, how had she not realized she had stopped writing in them at all once she began courting Lucas?

She recalled the advice she had given to Clara the night before she married Jesse. With a start, she realized that Clara had faced Jesse being in danger twice since then. The first was that day of the windstorm and then once again when he had gone missing while working just before they left Hope Valley.

Elizabeth

"Why are you still working?" She had asked upon seeing Clara sweeping the floor of the café.

It keeps my mind busy.

Why don't you tell me what is going on? You haven't been yourself lately and it's more than wedding jitters?

She had taken the broom away from Clara, and they had sat down on the settee in the private area of the café. After they had sat down Clara had handed her a piece of paper and she had read them out loud.

I promise you all my love today and ever after

You are my heart, my soul, my reason for laughter.

Forever for us begins with I do, and I do so much.

So very much love you."

They were Peter's wedding vows to me. I was looking for my mother's earrings and found these instead. And now I… I can't stop thinking about Peter and how much it hurt to lose him. How much it still hurts and now nothing makes sense.

"Oh Clara

What if something were to happen to Jesse? I don't think I could go through that pain again.

You can't live your life on what-ifs. You and Jesse are going to have so many wonderful years together.

Elizabeth…We both know how quickly someone can be taken from you.

Yes. But I also know that loving Jack was one of the greatest things I have ever done. I don't regret the time I had with him for one moment. And if I had the chance to do it all over again knowing exactly how it would end, I would still do it. Wouldn't you? (1)

Then, there was also her advice to Katie and Ned Yost just before he married Florence.

Is there something about Florence that you find makes her ill-suited for your father?

Florence is a wonderful woman. I've known her since I was a child.

Then I'm sorry, I just... I don't understand why you wouldn't want to see them married.

When my mother died my father nearly died along with her. You weren't living in Hope Valley at the time so you wouldn't know. I've never seen a man so stricken with grief.

But Katie, your father has found someone to love again.

Someone to lose again. Elizabeth, if anyone should understand I'd think that'd be you.

You're right. And in all honesty, I still struggle with it. But there will always be uncertainty in life and if we start to shrink back from those things that might hurt, well, then our greatest risk is possibly never experiencing our greatest joy. (2)

"Katie's afraid for you. Of what might happen if you were to lose Florence. And Ned, I'm sure you're a little afraid, as well."

"It's... it's why I've been so indecisive." Ned had told her.

"You know, after I lost Jack, I doubted that I'd ever be able to open my heart again.

"And look what happened." Ned had replied. At the time she thought he had been referring to her relationship with Lucas. Looking back, she was embarrassed by his assumption now since she knew all along it had always been Nathan who held her heart.

And while that should have been a comfort, for the longest time, all I could focus on was the loss. We both know what it feels like to wish you had just... just one more day with that person you married. But Ned, people like you and I, we have to remember what it is that we've learned. That life is brief and... and unexpected. And we always have to ask ourselves, "What'll I do with today?"

I went up to Katie's room but she didn't want to talk. But I think I will leave her a note making sure she understands that there'll be a place for her at the ceremony if she changes her mind. Thank you, Elizabeth.

You're welcome, Ned.(2)

Although it was a different scenario, it still involved being afraid of losing someone. But in the end, they had taken the risk and followed their heart. Why couldn't she do the same? She hadn't spared herself any pain by denying what was in her heart. Because with the way things stood with her and Nathan, she had lost him anyway, and the pain felt even more acute. There were plenty of women in Hope Valley who had a romantic interest in him, and the thought of him returning their interest or, worse, their love sent a sharp pain through her heart.

She recalled Nathan's honest and direct answer to her question. 'Why had she even asked that question in the first place? What purpose did it serve, if any?

"Nathan, do you remember after you and Lucas brought me flowers, and you said you weren't afraid of a little competition?"

"I do," Nathan said warily.

"Why did you back away almost immediately afterward?"

She recalled the pain that was reflected in his eyes as he replied to her.

"At first, it was because, as you know, I was battling my guilt over Fort Clay. But then I realized it was also because I knew that, unlike Lucas, it wasn't a prize I was after but a lifetime. You know, one of the things I loved most about you was that you never give up on people. Too bad you didn't think I was worth the risk and our love was worth fighting for."

Thinking about all they had discussed over the past week or so, she had failed all four of them and dishonored Jack's request. But it all came down to one thing, and that was her fear of the unknown. It made her think back to that day in the mine with Jack. Before she could even think of gaining Nathan's trust again, she would have to prove that she was willing to face her fear and risk it all for a lifetime by his side.

She had been so worried about what could happen to Jack, but she ended up in danger when part of the mine had collapsed on top of her. After carrying her back to the fire, Jack teased her that she had proven that being a teacher was just as dangerous as being a Mountie. Since then, others have proven that same lesson. There was Lee, who almost died doing his job, Rosemary almost died from Chickenpox; and Jack died from a landslide, not a bullet as she had always pictured in her mind. She also recalled how he almost died from being swept away in a flash flood and contracted Pneumonia.

In the time that she had known Nathan, she almost died when she was taken captive by Amos Dixon, thanks to Lucas, and when that tree fell in front of her and Emily during that windstorm. Both of those times, Nathan came to her rescue. But except for that Failed Prisoner transport and his brother-in-law, Nathan had never even come close to an injury before that though he had gone on several missions. Nathan, by nature, was not one given to risk-taking, probably because of Allie.

It was the end of her conversation with Jack that captured her interest.

The storm's passed. We can head back to town if you're up for it.

Can we stay here just a little while longer?

Yeah. What for?

In here, it's just the two of us, and... out there, everything is... complicated.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. But whatever challenges we have to face out there, I believe that we can take them on together." (3)

'Whatever challenges we have to face out there, I believe that we can take them on together. (3)

Her thoughts next went to the plaque that even now hung in the library, 'Always do what you are afraid to do'

The answer was right there in front of her the entire time. Nathan had always been there for her no matter what. If she had just shared what was really wrong, he would have helped her through it. A shared burden was always easier to bear. Nobody would have had to be hurt, and she wouldn't have had to make so many apologies or have wasted so much time running away from what her heart had revealed that day in the street. Worst of all, she would have never hurt the people closest to her needlessly. Starting with apology muffins, she would find a way to make things right between them. The muffins weren't really a big deal, but she knew how much he loved Banana Nut Muffins. They were just a token of appreciation and love that she had in her heart. She would deliver them on her way to the church to talk with Joseph.

THE NEXT MORNING

Nathan had done a lot of thinking the previous night and had managed to reconcile everything in his mind. As he walked into his office, after doing morning rounds he saw a basket on his desk and smiled. There was a hint of lavender still lingering in the air that let him know who had placed it there. Walking over, he moved the cover from the basket and was excited to see she had made his favorite.

As he took a muffin from the basket, he also saw the note that had been left with it tucked between the basket and the cloth. Grabbing a cup of coffee that had been conveniently made as well, he settled himself in his chair to read.

Nathan,

I am so sorry that I didn't fight for us or wasn't willing to take the risk. Looking back over the past four years, I realized that instead of running from my fears, I should have shared them with you. If you get nothing else from this letter, please know that you and Allie mean the world to me, and I have come to see that a life without either of you is very bleak indeed. I am tired of letting my fear of losing you dictate my actions.

I would love nothing more than for us to share the rest of our lives and blend our families. However, I know that I have hurt you and Allie. So, as I told you yesterday if friendship is all you can offer, I will thankfully accept that and treasure every moment we have. But if after some time has passed, you find that you can return my love and be willing to open your heart to me again, then know it will be safe, as will Allie's. I will do everything in my power to make sure you never regret it.

I recalled something Jack had once told me when I spoke of my fears when we were courting. If we face all our challenges, we can take them together and win or lose. We are that much stronger because we are together. So, while you being a Mountie scares me, if you are willing to help me, I'm ready to risk everything for you and Allie and our possible future together as one family."

Love E

Nathan smiled as he took another muffin and placed the letter inside his desk drawer. He was done going through all the old stuff and was ready to move forward. He was jarred out of his thoughts by the ringing of the telephone.

"Hope Valley Mountie Office."

"Nathan, I have Patrick O'Reilly on the line for you."

"Thanks, Florence."

"Morning, Superintendent O'Reilly."

"Hello, Corporal Grant. I wanted to call personally, but I want to wait until Bill is with you before I begin. He should be on his way any minute." Just as he said it, Bill practically ran into his office.

"He just walked in, Sir."

"So, I have some information on Miss Mei Sou, although there seems to be a possible misunderstanding that she is actually Mei Sou Lewis, the wife of Jeffrey Lewis. She has charges pending in Chicago for Larceny, Forgery, and Spousal Abandonment.

"But she claims to be Miss Mei Sou," Bill said.

"Well, I talked to a police Deputy Chief there in Chicago. He sent a man over to the Clerk of courts and found a marriage license with her signature. I wanted to be sure of everything before I called you. They have asked for her to be extradited to the States as soon as possible, and due to the seriousness of the charges, it has been granted," Patrick said.

"So how is that going to work," Bill asked.

"Corporal Grant, you are to take her into custody and hold her until the Mountie escort arrives from Benson Hills to bring her to Union City. She will be held until the escort from Chicago arrives to take her back to Chicago. The officer will have all the appropriate paperwork for your records."

"Yes, Sir," Nathan replied.

"Thanks, Patrick," Bill said before Nathan hung up the phone.

"Well, I guess there's no time like the present," Nathan said.

"Yep," Bill said. "I guess it doesn't matter now about her credentials."

Nathan said nothing as they headed to the Mercantile, where she was restocking shelves. Thankfully the Mercantile was empty except for her and the Yosts. Ned had gone to greet him but, upon seeing the grim smile on both Nathan and Bill's faces, stayed quiet as they approached Mei.

"I'm sorry, Mei Sou, but I have orders to place you under arrest," Nathan said, feeling slightly conflicted for the first time in his career as a Mountie. "I need you to come with me."

"All right," Mei said, putting down the can of peaches she was about to place on the shelf.

When they got her back to the jail, they explained the pending charges and that she was being extradited.

"Judge Avery, is there anything you can do? I promise you that I am not guilty of what he has said."

"I'm a judge here, and if, for some reason, anything stems from your coming here after misrepresenting yourself to the Yosts for employment, I can't act as an attorney."

"Look, I apprenticed at Jeffrey's pharmacy while in school, and everything was fine. Then, after graduation, he offered me a job. But before long, he wanted more than friendship. When I refused, eventually, he began telling people he proposed and that later he said that we eloped and got married. When Jeffrey learned I was looking for another job, things only got worse.

I had intercepted a letter Faith wrote to Jeffrey about this job. I did write Ned as Jeffrey, but I had to get away because he filed a marriage license with my forged signature on it. But he already has a wife, and as far as I know, they aren't divorced. Please, you have to help me."

"Unfortunately, it is out of our hands. You will be leaving as soon as your escort gets here."

"What about my things?"

"I'm going to supervise Fiona and Faith in packing them up so they will be ready to go when the transport arrives," Nathan said. "I'm sorry, but that's the best I can do,"

"I didn't unpack a lot, so Faith should be sufficient," Mei said.

"You've been here almost a month now, seems like maybe you were expecting something like this," Nathan noted flatly.

"I was, but I held out hope that it just might work out in my favor," Mei said on the verge of tears, and she sat on the cot in her cell.

Bill stayed back while Nathan arranged for Faith to pack up Mei's things. Carson helped him carry it back to the jail. Just as they arrived back at the jail, the transport was coming down the main street. After loading it up, Mei was brought out, signatures were complete, and she was on her way out of Hope Valley.

Bill called Patrick and let him know what Mei had told them. Patrick agreed to type up a statement and requested Nathan and Bill speak with the Yosts to see if there was any need for charges. Knowing Florence and Ned, he knew there wouldn't be, and when they were questioned they proved him right.

What made it even easier for them was thanks to Carson the new thoroughly vetted pharmacist, Mr. Christopher Fletcher, was found and would arrive the day after the opening but it couldn't be helped. It didn't take long for the news of his being unmarried to spread throughout all the ladies and speculation to reach a fever pitch.

(1) S7 E6

(2) S8 E10

(3) S2 E7

Authors Note: Look for our next chapter on Thursday, December 21st. We'll start posting on Thursdays. We are focusing on our holiday fic exchange story right now.

For those who are sad to see Mei go, and in this way... We loved Mei in S10. She was so sweet. We adored that she brought out her culture and was proud of it. But I had to ignore how she was introduced in S9. I cannot easily forgive her dishonesty and lack of remorse for writing to the Yosts as Geoffrey (yes, we chose a different spelling of his name than the show used). The show glorified her dishonesty/crime, welcomed her, and made her a member of the town council. Then when she betrayed Nathan's confidences to Bill, it made me dislike her even more. Since this is a S9 rewrite this is how we decided to deal with her storyline. Melissa