CW: Sexual content!

1 January 1996

MK

Dear Diary,

Wow, are we really beginning our twentieth year together? When I first began to write in your pages, I was a regular Giuseppe who was a confirmed bachelor, worked as a mechanic, lived in a modest apartment and led an average life. Twenty years later, I'm in a wonderful relationship with a tomboyish Princess, an honorary uncle, and I live in and help protect a whimsical fantasyland alongside my big bro. I've become an extended family member to a gym owner and his wife, and I competed in my first kart race. I did say that I was counting on a few curveballs coming my way, but man! This is a little more than I bargained for!

But over the course of these twenty years, my relationship with Mario underwent a drastic overhaul. I fight as hard as him to keep this kingdom safe, but I'm still barely acknowledged. Only Agnes, Oliver and a small handful of Toads call me by my name; the rest call me "Mario's little brother" or "Green Mario". Even Koopa doesn't take me seriously. While I still love Mario, and I always will, seeing him mobbed like a savior while I'm met with crickets really chafes.

Luckily, I have new hobbies to keep me from bursting apart. I frequent the arcade, the skating rink and Josh's gym. I put in a CD of pop and Eurodance hits and dance like a maniac. I tinker with my racing kart, hoping for another kart race. I pour out my soul to Josh, Joan, Julian and even Jackie. And what I don't say to them, I entrust with you. These activities and more keep my emotions at a manageable level.

No sense stewing over it. More exciting opportunities might await me in these next twenty years. Happy anniversary!

Luigi

23 June 1996

MK

Dear Diary,

Well, it's official. Mario and Peach are definitely an item. (Boy, am I glad we get to call her by her first name now; it's much less to write, and thus, less taxing on my fingers.) Earlier this morning, she invited him to her castle to share a cake with her. If that doesn't sound like a date, then I don't know what does.

Just minutes after Mario left, he gave me a buzz. Peach and Toad were missing, and all the doors but one were locked! The door he was able to access took him to a giant painting, which transported him to a place called Bob-omb Battlefield. It was there that he got the scoop—someone's stolen the Power Stars from the castle, and they plan to turn everyone in the painting world into monsters to help them take over the MK. That was classic Koopa!

"So—I guess I'm gonna be gone for a while," Mario finished, a little sadly.

"Are you—are you sure you don't need any help?" I ventured to ask.

"Nah, I'll be fine," said Mario, "but thank you for the offer. Please, look after the rest of the MK while I'm gone, in case anyone else wants to try anything."

"You got it, Bro," I said. "Good luck. Get Peach back safely."

"Will do. See you when I get back—I'll tell you all about it!"

"Okeydokey. See you then."

I hung up and then punched the nearest wall in frustration. There goes Mario on another adventure, while I'm stuck here. Yes, I could use my skills to protect the MK. Yes, I can maintain some stability while Mario's gone. But for God's sakes, doesn't Mario realize that his lone-wolf mentality can get him killed? Doesn't he realize how much I worry about him when he goes off on this quest and that quest? Doesn't he know that I want to help him and protect him against enemies who want him dead?

Does he—does he even care?

I love my Big Bro, I really do. However, what I don't love is being constantly locked out of the loop. I'm barely recognized as it is—the Toads stumble over my name or simply refer to me as "Mario's little brother" or "Green Mario". Need I remind them that I don't look anything like Mario? But—I got my mind off of all that by cooling my heels and keeping the wheels of the MK turning, doing a few plumbing jobs, and when a few Toad retainers thanked me for my help and assured me that they'd take it from here, I headed home and took a cool, refreshing shower.

Daisy's schedule is too crammed for a visit right now, so I called her on my new cell phone. She sounded so happy to see me—and also stressed. We were both stressed, and what better time to release it than now? This was the first time I've—coupled—with someone over the phone, but it was so easy. I took off my clothes, lay on my bed, applied a few pumps of lotion to my hands and began talking sultrily to Daisy, telling her of the steamy and naughty things I wished we could do together right now as I caressed my Shroom. Daisy, for her part, gave as good as she got, talking about how I had a magical touch and how she loved the things I could do with my mouth and my tongue, leaving no detail untouched as she described what she imagined me doing to her. I heard her getting excited as she told me how she was currently visualizing me planting kiss after kiss on her breasts before wrapping my lips around them and sucking and flicking my tongue over each nipple, how her legs would be balanced on my shoulders while I—

Soft moans escaped my lips as I—tended to myself. I manipulated myself in slow, deep strokes, the image of my Flower Princess and what she was describing to me painted before my closed eyelids. Her breasts springing to life the moment I unclasped her bra, her Warp Pipe glistening and waiting and eager, her taut tummy as I kissed down it, her navel dancing in anticipation and her skin turning rosaceous as I did delicious things to her body. Her hands as they massaged my chest and trailed down my back before taking hold of my length and stroking it the way I was doing so now, sometimes running a thumb over the mushroom cap, rubbing and pumping until I was a gasping mess but always stopping before I exploded so she could lower herself onto me and go for the ride of her life.

And then I talked about how I'd rotate us so that I was on top, and then I really got her excited as I told her how my body would just barely skim against hers and the gentle, passionate way I'd take her. I'd plunge deeply, but never roughly. The last thing I'd want is to hurt her. I went on and on about how our bodies would be joined and how it would feel so good, and I knew that she was trying to hold it all in as she played with herself. We went at this for about an hour, expelling the tension and angst threatening to take us over. By the time we told each other about what we'd do in the shower the next morning, we were about to burst.

We made sure we released together, my pillowcase muffling my cries, Daisy's voice screaming my name. I lay there on my bed, spent but relieved, the two of us catching our breath before making plans to get together once her schedule lightened up. We told each other "I love you" before ending the call.

After cleaning up the evidence and changing the sheets, I was ready to continue with my day, and best of all, less angry at Mario.

I had a quick bite to eat before taking the Warp Pipe to Brooklyn and heading to Josh's gym. Julian just finished his freshman year in college, and he's decided to spend the summer helping his dad. Josh intends to pass ownership of the place on to his son when the time comes, and Julian wants to take the gym in a fresh new direction. He's keeping the details top secret for now.

"Trouble with Mario again?" asked Josh when I emerged from the locker room, ready to exercise.

"Not that much trouble," I replied. "He's just going on an adventure while I stay at home."

I inserted a CD into my portable CD player, hopped on a spin bike, took off my shirt, pressed "play" and started my cardio. I pedaled and sweated and worked my muscles until I could barely take anymore, and then I rested for 30 minutes before lifting some weights.

"Has Mac been around lately?" I asked.

"Don't worry, he hasn't forgotten us—or you," Josh assured me. "He tells me that he's doing well in the WVBA circuit, standing up to the big guys and being a hero for the little guy. And he wanted me to tell you to hang in there—you'll get your chance soon."

"Next time you see him, tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't make all of his bouts," I said. "Mario and I are very busy now."

"He understands. Protecting a kingdom is a really big job."

Julian walked into the room to restock on sports drinks and handed one to me, on the house.

"Hey, Jules," said Josh. "You wanna tell Luigi the big news?"

"What big news?" I asked.

Jules blushed. "Well…" Then, he grinned. "I'm gonna be a dad!"

I gaped. "No—way."

"Jackie and I had dinner together one night, and we decided to stay at her place," explained Jules. "We watched a few mushy movies on TV, one thing led to another, and then…"

"How did her folks take it?" I asked.

"We're not little kids anymore. We gotta take responsibility for our actions. But—I needed a bodyguard when I was around Jamie for a while. Jackie and I are keeping the baby. There's no question regarding that."

"What about…?" I jerked my head toward Josh.

"I kinda hoped he'd wait a while," admitted Josh, "but who am I to judge? Besides, how else did he enter this wonderful world? Stork delivery?"

"Dad," chuckled Jules.

"Yeah, your mom and I were pretty young ourselves when we had you," said Josh. "You were such a precious, happy little baby. But no matter what, I'll always be your dad, and I'll always be proud of you."

Jules smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, that's all."

Don't all parents feel that way?

"Congratulation, Jules," I said. "Boy or girl?"

"We're hoping for a girl," said Julian.

We embraced, and then Josh made the usual call to Mario, telling him that I was okay and simply needed cooling off.

I stayed at the gym, pummeling punching bags, until it was nearly sunset. Then, I showered, wished both Josh and Jules good luck and returned to the Mushroom Kingdom. I turned on the TV in time to hear the news that Mario had once again defeated Koopa, and both he and Peach were safe. As always, I wept and thanked God. Then, I headed into the kitchen and fixed a tasty pasta dish for the two of us.

Wise choice—Mario was famished when he arrived. Before we ate, however, my bro wrapped me up in a tender hug, and I told him how happy I was that he was all right. Then, Mario looked at me and admitted that he was worried about me, too—that Koopa would set his sights on me while he was otherwise distracted. I told him that I wouldn't let that turtle put his hands on me without one Hell of a fight. My annoyance toward him was completely forgotten, and we just hugged and hugged until Mario's stomach grumbled.

Over our dinner, Mario told me about his adventure while I listened intently. He told me about collecting Stars, returning a baby penguin to his mom before having a sliding race with her, pianos with jaws that snapped at him, undersea creatures, the bosses he fought against, Whomps, and finally, his battle against Koopa. He'd demonstrated his strength by grabbing Koopa by his tail, swinging him round and round, and then tossing him into a nearby mine. After he'd recovered the Stars and returned them to the castle, Peach gave him a well-earned kiss, and with help from her retainers, baked him the best cake he'd had in a while. He saved me about half of it, by the way.

After he finished telling his story, I told him that Julian and Jackie were expecting a child. He was very happy for them, to say the least, and told me that he'd send them a card tomorrow. Once he retired to his room, I helped myself to a slice of the cake he'd brought home. It was delicious, indeed.

Time to recuperate from another long day!

Luigi

29 September 1996

MK

Dear Diary,

I spent today relaxing with my bro, with no evil takeover plot to worry about. We ordered takeout from a nearby restaurant and ate forkfuls of it in between rounds of playing Kirby Super Star or Super Mario Kart on our SNES. A shiny new console called the Nintendo 64 recently arrived on the market, so Mario and I are saving up our money so we can buy one. But that's off topic. Anyway, the day was all about the two of us sharing quality time—and Chinese food—together. It's been three months, but Mario still has some aches and bruises from his latest adventure. I've made sure I had plenty of ice and ointment for him, but that's nothing compared to what a gentle kiss can do. I make sure to kiss all of the bruises I find, just like our mamma used to. And it still works. It actually still works!

"Hey, Luigi," Mario said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"You may think I leave you behind on some of my adventures because I don't care about you," he said, "but—it's because of the exact opposite. I do care about you. You're the only family I have nearby. And—I leave you here because I know you'll be safe. If someone or something else attacks the MK, I know that someone will come to your aid. I…" He paused.

"Bro," I said. "Look at me. Look at me, man."

He did, and I placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Was I upset that you left me behind? Yes. Did I think it was because you didn't care? Definitely. But then you came back, victorious, and it didn't matter anymore because I was so happy you made it through in one piece."

Mario nodded. "I know that you wanna help me, but—the enemies I ran into aren't like those from a cartoon or whatever. They genuinely wanted to hurt me, or worse, and they'd have no qualms doing the same to you. And if they hurt you, or landed you in the hospital, or worse—I'll feel like that's on me. I don't need that on my conscience, L."

He teared up a little, so I pulled him into a hug, giving him as much comfort as I could. His head was on my chest, his ear next to my heart.

"It's—not that I don't know why," I said softly. "It's because—well—we're brothers. And brothers help each other." I was so tempted to tell him everything, to confess the very things I've confessed to you, but I decided that it would only serve to ruin the moment. "If you run into a problem and you can't solve it on your own, just promise me—promise me you'll let me help. Promise me, Mario."

Mario looked up into my eyes. "I promise, Lil' Bro."

He laid his head back on my chest as I sifted my fingers though his brown locks.

"We have our own thing, Mario, and it works," I reminded him.

"Hey, I said that first," he laughed, and I laughed with him.

What was that we both said about brothers?

Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Luigi