Chapter 11: Of Love and Mating
You go where the wind blows, leading the life you chose
Your destination remains unknown
No one to help you, nobody cares about you
You're looking for someplace you can call home
Lonely children on the run
Lonely children need someone
Too many questions, you need to answer to them
Your information is so incomplete
You seek directions, you would be lost without them
Don't let them find you lying in the street
Lonely children on the run
Lonely children, lonely, need someone
Someone to talk to
Someone who cares
Someone who listens
Is anyone there?
– "Lonely Children" by Foreigner
Reiwa Era 3rd Year (January 2021)
Just a few days after the New Year, Touga and Inuyasha were assisting Sesshoumaru and the Sanctuary staff in setting up a gala for their client, Naraku. Suddenly, an obnoxious, modern-pop ringtone cut through the air, and everyone turned towards Inuyasha.
He pulled out his phone, the name "Kagome" lighting up the screen.
"You gave her your actual phone number?" Sesshoumaru asked, derision lacing his voice.
Admittedly, they did use burner phones for human contacts and only entrusted demons with their personal ones, but that just showed Touga how much Inuyasha had loved and trusted Kagome—how much he still loved her, given how he apparently hadn't deleted her from his contacts yet.
Maybe there was still a chance for the boy to be happy.
"Answer it, son," Touga prompted, cutting Sesshoumaru a "don't start this now" look.
"I…I dunno," Inuyasha mumbled.
Once bitten, twice shy—or in Inuyasha's case, twice bitten, eternally wary. Still, Touga prodded him. "We're all on Wi-Fi calling here, Inuyasha. It can't be traced. Just answer it." When Inuyasha still made no move, Touga reached over and slid the phone icon to accept the call.
"What the— Dad!" Inuyasha exclaimed.
"Inuyasha?" a feminine voice asked from the phone.
Inuyasha immediately left the room to talk to his ex. Touga tried not to listen in, but as his son was leaving, he caught Kagome saying, "I've had some time to think, and—" before Inuyasha exited the room.
Touga couldn't possibly work until he learned what was going on, so he beckoned Sesshoumaru out to the engawa, plopped down on the raised porch, and waited. Sesshoumaru stood next to him, an impatient look on his face. But while his son nursed pessimism, hope filled Touga with giddiness, and he swung his feet, anxious to hear what Inuyasha had to say. A cold wind with the scent of oncoming snow blew across the yard, but it did not penetrate through the trench coat Touga wore that was lined with his fur.
Soon enough, Inuyasha returned, staring at the ground in a daze as he walked.
Touga leaned forward. "Well? What did she have to say?"
"She…wants to meet with me. To talk. About us." He blinked slowly, as if he still couldn't believe it. "She says she wants to see the real me, so…she wants to meet somewhere safe. She said I could choose the place."
Sesshoumaru, of course, pointed out that it could be a trap, and though Touga hoped that wasn't the case, he agreed that they should be careful.
So it was that the three of them drove the next day to a nature park outside of Tokyo. Touga and Sesshoumaru would serve as backup in case Kagome had called in the Demon Slayer Corps. They arrived before the scheduled meeting time and scouted out the park. Layered with a fresh blanket of snow and the frosty gray clouds above promising more to come, the park was completely deserted. Nevertheless, Touga and Sesshoumaru took up separate positions in a copse of trees, which provided extra cover in case they needed to escape from gunfire, but they were still well within earshot of Inuyasha. They would be at his side in only a second if Kagome showed any sign of treachery. Touga hunkered down in his bunker as Inuyasha paced the pathway leading into the forested part of the park.
Finally, he heard footsteps.
A pink Michelin man—or woman, rather—plodded through the snow towards Inuyasha. She was cute enough, Touga supposed, with her nose pink from the cold and her wavy hair whipping around in the wind. But she hardly looked threatening in her fuzzy earmuffs, purple mittens, and fur-lined boots.
In some ways, her face resembled Kikyou's. His son certainly had a type, but even Touga had to admit that Kikyou had more of a classical beauty than this girl did.
That's good though. That means he's looking beyond skin deep. Touga smiled, pride infusing him, but then he scowled.
Wait. This is the girl who broke his heart. I'm not supposed to like her. Yet.
It was hard not to when comparing her to Kikyou, however. Though he had never personally met Inuyasha's previous ex-girlfriend before she shot him, Izayoi—who had been infiltrating the Demon Slayer Corps at the time—had. When Inuyasha had come out to his parents about dating a human back then, he and Izayoi tried to be supportive, given the nature of their own marriage, but Izayoi later confided her worries to her husband.
"I don't like her," Izayoi confessed.
"Why?"
"Well, everyone at the DSC idolizes Kikyou for her beauty, wit, and prowess, and I admit she has all three."
"So, you're just being contrary?" he teased.
Izayoi glared at him, and he shut up. "Just listen! I know it sounds strange, especially since she is also very compassionate to those less fortunate than herself. You know my old partner who died after the Mamidara Inn fire last year? On Igumo? He was Kikyou's ex-boyfriend, but even though they had broken up, she still went to visit him in the hospital every day after the fire until he died."
Touga peered at her in confusion. "So…I'm lost. What part about her isn't to like?"
Izayoi screwed up her face in thought. "It's hard to explain. Just an instinct, I guess? Honestly, I find her a bit arrogant. She's so powerful, and she knows it. Oh, she acts humble, but she's so self-assured, it's a bit off-putting. And I know she has a strong sense of justice—but it's the black-and-white type. She fully believes all demons are evil. So, even though he's only half…I just don't know if Inuyasha will ever be able to truly open up to her."
"Have you told this to him?" Touga asked.
"I've hedged around it. Asked him how he thinks a relationship with her would work, since she's in the DSC. He just said he'd be careful until he was sure about her."
Unfortunately, Inuyasha had been too sure about her, and his love for her almost cost him his life.
After the incident, Touga had kept an eye on Kikyou himself, tracking her rise through the DSC ranks and making sure to keep Inuyasha as far from her as possible. He'd had to pull Izayoi out of the DSC before she took vengeance on the slayer herself, and they all had to change their identities after that debacle. He sent Inuyasha off to head the Sanctuary for a few decades and lie low by staying out of Tokyo. Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru had taken up the post as head of Nishikuni Corp. while Touga later came in pretending to be his heir apparent.
Where Kikyou had been all sharp, cold beauty and grace, Kagome's features were rounded with warmth—inner warmth at least. Currently, her hands were tucked under armpits as she shivered. "Geez, Inuyasha, I know you need to be careful, but was this really necessary? It's freezing."
"Hey, you said you wanted to see me as I am. Well, hidden away like this is how it has to be," he answered, pulling a beanie off his head and twitching his ears.
The two froze then, as if taken aback by such a quick return to familiarity, despite all that had happened. But Touga found that a positive sign.
Kagome cleared her throat and rubbed her hands. "Right. Well, thanks for agreeing to meet me though. I appreciate it."
"Yeah, it's no problem," Inuyasha answered in a more subdued tone.
Kagome looked him over. "So…this is you, huh? White hair, dog ears, and…hey, are your eyes yellow?"
"Yeah. What of it?"
"Nothing! Nothing. I'm just…not used to seeing you like this. You look different. A good different, but still…different."
"Is that all you came to say?"
Kagome shook her head. "No. What I really wanted to do was tell you face-to-face that I'm sorry. I can't imagine how much courage it must have taken you to show me the real you, and I…I reacted badly."
Touga's heart warmed. Either Kagome was a fantastic actress, or these words truly came from the depths of her heart, and Touga felt it in his gut that it was the latter. Already, this reunion was going better than he had hoped.
Good luck, my boy. And don't screw up this second chance. They don't come around often, if ever.
Izayoi had been his second chance at love. He sometimes wondered what kind of person he would be today if he had never stumbled into that forest and found her.
He certainly wouldn't have the cute little pup acting all bashful in front of his lady friend over there.
Inuyasha scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, well…I can't say I entirely blame you. I'm sure the last thing you expected me to spring on you was the fact that I'm a half-demon."
"It was…shocking, to say the least. But I've had a while to think about it, and I realized…if you were going to eat me, you probably would have done so already. I mean, I gave you plenty of chances when we were alone."
"Uh, first of all, ick. I would never eat a human. My mom's a human, remember? And second…is that really what freaked you out? You thought I'd eat you?"
Kagome blushed, ducking her head. "Well, I mean…you sort of already have, but not in that way." She chuckled weakly, and Touga's smirk wavered.
While the very base dog demon within him howled, That's my boy!, the more rational side of him really didn't want to know more about his son's sex life than he could already smell.
On the other hand, it's good to know he's treating her properly. Guess I at least got that sex talk right after the disaster with Sesshoumaru.
Inuyasha apparently remembered that he had an audience, because his nose—already reddened by cold—went pinker, and he rushed to say, "Uh, right, but seriously Kagome, what made you change your mind?"
Kagome took a deep breath. "Actually, it was my sister. She, um…had to make a confession recently that was about as high on the shock meter as yours was."
"What, she's not a half-demon too, is she?" Inuyasha quipped.
Kagome cleared her throat. "No, ah…she's pregnant."
"Oh. She, um…didn't get married or something in these last few months, did she?" Inuyasha asked.
Kagome shook her head. "No. She's going to be doing this on her own."
"Seriously? What happened to the guy?"
"Apparently it was a one-night stand."
"And she didn't get his number or anything?" Kagome shook her head. "Bastard."
"Right?" she answered, her voice growing louder with frustration. "But at the same time, I know there's something she's not telling me about all this. I mean, she even lied to me in the beginning about not meeting anyone on her vacation, and then this happens? She's not the type of girl to just sleep around like that! I don't know what's going through her head!"
Touga barely knew anything about Kagome herself, and he knew nothing about her family. Inuyasha hadn't confided much in his parents while the two were going out. He filed away this bit of information about the sister, though he knew he was in no position to be judging others for messy family situations. Still, drama was not necessarily something they needed in their family. They had more than enough of it.
Inuyasha's eyes widened at Kagome's sudden outburst. "Well, uh…I might be able to help track him down, if you want. Dogs are…pretty good at that sort of thing."
He's already forgiven her, Touga realized. Inuyasha would never have offered such help if he hadn't. He's definitely still in love.
Kagome's angry look cleared from her face in an instant, and she gazed at Inuyasha with a smile that told Touga Kagome felt the same way, despite their breakup. His heart warmed towards her even more. "Thanks, Inuyasha. Maybe we'll take you up on that, but…I've derailed a bit. Sorry. The news is just fresh, and it's been on my mind a lot the past few days."
She put a hand to her forehead and took a deep breath before looking at him again. "But that's not what I came to talk about. I meant what I said about apologizing. The point is, I saw how hard it was for my sister to come clean about her pregnancy, and watching her do that…I realized you must have gone through the same thing. And then I felt like a coward, because you were willing to go all the way with this relationship and reveal all your secrets to a human, and here I immediately shut you down, thinking it was impossible. But I guess this sort of relationship can't be impossible, right? You're a half-demon after all. You said your mom was human, right?"
"…Yeah."
"So I figured…what the heck is stopping me? I love you, Inuyasha." Inuyasha stiffened in shock, and even Touga's mouth dropped open. Though instinct had told him as much, hearing the girl freely admit it was something else entirely. He felt like he was watching a romance movie, and he was very invested in the ending.
"That hasn't changed these last few months, and when I realized that…I felt like an idiot. We wasted all this time, just because I got a little spooked."
"Well, to be honest, we were both kinda idiots. If I had shown you the way I originally planned…well, it could have been a lot worse."
That's an understatement. Touga could only imagine the chaos it would have caused if Inuyasha brought Kagome to the Sanctuary.
"I knew you'd need time to process, but I guess I just didn't realize how much. And I should have. I know what sort of propaganda shit the Demon Slayers put out. If that's all you know about demons, then yeah, you should be scared out of your mind. I just forget that sometimes," Inuyasha admitted.
Kagome grabbed his hands, swinging them between their bodies. "So…am I forgiven then?"
"Are we getting back together?"
She bit her lip and looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes. "If you want to…then I'm one-hundred percent willing. Promise."
Inuyasha smiled. "Then yeah. You're forgiven."
Kagome pushed up on her tip-toes and wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's neck, kissing him. His arms went around her waist like a sprung trap that wouldn't let her go.
Touga smiled, his eyes growing misty. I have a good feeling about these two. There was no danger here—and no need to stay alert anymore. Time to regroup.
He stalked over to where Sesshoumaru was hiding. His eldest was staring at the couple with a hardened look on his face. Disgust perhaps? Though that didn't quite seem right. More like…distress?
But no, that couldn't be right. Could it?
Touga placed a hand on Sesshoumaru's shoulder, bringing him out of wherever his mind was. He placed a finger over his mouth to keep Sesshoumaru quiet. Though his heart felt full, he sensed he needed to lighten Sesshoumaru's mood. So he sniffed and whispered, "Damn, this is better than The Notebook. I should've brought popcorn." Too late, he wondered, Wait, does Sesshoumaru even know what The Notebook is?
Sesshoumaru gave his father a droll look. "Can we leave now?" he murmured back.
"Nah, it's just gettin' good," Touga answered with a wink, nodding back to the couple.
They pulled apart, and no sooner had they then Kagome's mercurial features morphed into one of determination. She frowned and jabbed Inuyasha in the chest with a mitten-covered finger. "Okay you, all may be forgiven after you dropped that truth bomb on me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stand for anymore lies between us! If you want this relationship to work as much as I do, you're going to tell me the truth about everything from here on out. Got it? If you can't commit to doing that, then I'm going to turn around right now and walk away, and we'll pretend we never had this conversation."
"I won't lie anymore, I swear," Inuyasha said, pulling Kagome back into his embrace and tucking her head under his chin.
Kagome smiled, gave him a squeeze, and then pulled back. "So…one last thing."
"What now?"
She bit her lip and shifted in place, almost like a kid needing to go to the bathroom. "I didn't get a chance last time because you scared the shit out of me, but…can I touch them?"
Inuyasha's brow twitched, and he glanced back towards the trees—at his audience. Touga bit down on his lip to hold back a snicker. "Touch…what?"
Apparently, Kagome didn't feel the need to wait for permission, because she tore off her mittens and reached out with both hands to feel Inuyasha's dog ears. Inuyasha shuddered.
"Hey…Kagome…cut it out, will ya?" he asked, but instead of coming off as cranky, he sounded more…whiny.
Touga grunted in sympathy with his son. Dog demon ears were one of the most sensitive parts of their bodies—even more so in demon form. He loved the rare times he could transform and have Izayoi recline on his head and scritch him behind the ears.
Kagome's eyes widened. "That's new. Then again, you didn't have those before." A wicked smile crossed her lips, and she brought one hand down to his chest, walking her fingers up it. "I don't know about you, but I'm freezing. What do you say we go somewhere where we can…warm up a bit?"
"Uh…hold that thought," Inuyasha said, pulling out of her embrace and bounding over towards his father and brother.
Kagome was left standing in the cold, her mouth agape. "Inuyasha, what the heck? Where are you going?"
Inuyasha landed in front of Sesshoumaru's bunker. Touga pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. Inuyasha's cheeks were clearly no longer burning from the cold. "Okay, so it's obvious this isn't a trap. You can leave now. Go ahead and take the car. I'll catch up…later."
"Are you sure, son? She might just be waiting to catch you with your pants down," Touga answered, biting his tongue to suppress a snigger—and failing.
"Shut up, old man," Inuyasha growled.
Sesshoumaru sighed. "Do what you wish. Just don't do something foolish like bringing her as your plus-one to Naraku's party tonight. And don't be late."
Inuyasha scowled at him. "Yeah, you don't need to tell me that. I learned my lesson. I'm not just going to throw her headfirst into a room full of demons and expect her to be okay with it." Apparently feeling satisfied with what he had said, he turned around and leapt back to Kagome.
"Where did you go?" Kagome asked.
"I thought I heard something. I went to check it out."
Inuyasha and Kagome sauntered away, and Touga and Sesshoumaru waited until they were out of earshot to follow them.
"Well, if a Demon Slayer ambush was one extreme of how this could have turned out, I'd say that was the other, and I'm rather pleased by it," Touga announced.
"Do you honestly think it will last?" Sesshoumaru asked, skepticism lacing his words.
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But at least they're willing to give it a try." Sesshoumaru frowned, but Touga continued. "After all, she said she loved him. There's no better start."
"But how do you know what you're feeling is love?" Sesshoumaru asked.
Touga froze, and Sesshoumaru had to stop and turn around. Touga stared at his son, puzzle pieces flying around in his mind, looking for the right connections. Sesshoumaru's odd disappearance in the fall. The musky scent he had come back with. And lately, a mood more irritable than usual—one that seemed to grow fouler day by day. Now he was asking questions about love?
Could it be…?
"Why do you ask, Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru blinked slowly, almost like a reptile. "Because I do not understand such…human emotions."
"Uh huh…" Touga answered, resuming his walking. He wasn't convinced. Sesshoumaru took after his mother this way. Their first instincts when talking about feelings were to hide and deflect. "Well, I don't know what to tell you, son. Every love feels different. For instance, the way I felt for your mother was a…different sort of love than the one I felt for Izayoi."
"How so?"
Touga took a deep breath of the searing air. How could he explain this? Sesshoumaru was a novice in love, and even after centuries of living, Touga still wasn't sure he understood his and Inukimi's relationship. Certainly, there had been an alpha/beta dynamic—or as modern media liked to call it, a dom/sub component—though neither of them had been very good about being submissive. And perhaps that had been the problem. But such a concept was too advanced for Sesshoumaru right now. Nor did he need to know that his parents had behaved towards one another in such a fashion.
Touga cast his mind far back—back to what originally drew him to Inukimi in the first place.
"The love I have for your mother was born out of a familiarity, I think. We had known each other ever since we were pups, and there had long been hopes that we would marry to ally our clans. And even though she doesn't show it well, she does love deeply."
Sesshoumaru scoffed, and Touga frowned at him—partly out of reproach and partly because his son's response reminded him too painfully of what he had thought not too many centuries ago, when her constant lack of affection had whittled away his optimistic nature until it exposed a resentful and pessimistic core. He too had believed her incapable of love.
But when Myouga had revealed how she came to stay by his side after his near-death experience, he started to wonder if he had been wrong. He might have once assumed she was just expressing a sense of ownership over him, but over the ensuing centuries, he had realized several things.
Firstly, he alone knew that she had possessed the power to resurrect him, if needed. Whether or not she would have, he sometimes wondered, but the fact that she had come in person to care for him gave him hope.
Secondly, she could have killed Izayoi and Inuyasha at that time if she wished. He had been incapacitated, and it would have only taken a moment in Riku's absence to do the deed and rid him of his mate and newborn son. The old Inukimi—the one he had originally married—might have done that. Instead, she had helped them. He still did not know exactly why. He had never asked her, for she had never brought it up. Obviously, she meant to keep her actions that day a secret, and so they would have remained, had Myouga not seen everything. But perhaps—just perhaps—she had cared enough to know that killing his mate and child would cause him great pain.
Thirdly, when she would not divorce him, he had thought that she was punishing him. But when he later mulled over her words about how she would stay true to her vows, he realized that for her, loyalty was one of the noblest virtues. Perhaps it wasn't the type of love he had craved, but it was a form of it.
And finally, during the wars of the early 20th century, she had not only come "out of retirement" to aid demonkind as a whole, but she had done everything in her power to keep him, Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha alive.
When Japan entered its period of imperial expansion, bringing war to all its neighbors in the Pacific, she had warned the family—and any demons still loyal to her—to stay away from Hiroshima and Nagasaki until further notice. Touga hadn't understood her orders then, but they had been relatively easy to obey.
Two decades later, when he enlisted in the army upon the signing of the Tripartite Pact in 1940, she took him aside again and asked him for the first favor that she had in years: Defect if his superiors forced him to go to Hiroshima or Nagasaki.
His honor had rankled when she said as much, but he knew she must have a reason. However, when he pressed her on why, she dodged, as usual.
Seeing his frustration, she had taken his hand then and looked him dead in the eyes, a blaze of determination and something else he dared not name shining there. "You once said you should have listened to me when I told you not to throw yourself headlong into battle. Take your own advice and listen to me this time. If you still hold any attachment to me at all in your heart, you will do as I say. And if not…then do it for your human mate and your children."
She let go then and walked away before he could say anything in response. Something like, Of course you are still in my heart, Inukimi. A part of you always will be.
Five years later, when he received word that both Hiroshima and Nagasaki had been wiped off the face of the earth with atomic bombs, his entire body had gone numb. And when he returned home, Inukimi had finally confided in him the secret she had been carrying for millennia.
"I saw the decline of demonkind, Touga. I saw what humans would become capable of. I knew those bombs were coming, and I knew we could neither stop them nor withstand them. I just did not know when exactly they would drop. When planes first appeared and the Great War started, I feared it would happen then, though it did not. So when the world claimed it was the 'war to end all wars,' I knew that would not be the case." She smiled wryly then, her gaze cast on a distant horizon. "Though I suppose it was the war to end all wars between demons and humans. We lost our dominance over them then, and this latest war only confirmed where we now stand. I did my best to shield us during the air raids on Tokyo, but no doubt even more of us have fallen where my hand did not reach."
In that moment, her zeal for creating Western Sanctuary had suddenly made sense, as had her quick acquiescence to his living arrangements proposal. She had even stepped up to take the reins of Nishikuni Corp. while the men went off to war, despite her being "in retirement."
And as much as she had wanted to, she hadn't been able to share the burden of these visions with him until then because of Akuru's rule.
So it must have felt like a stab in the back when he ousted her from Nishikuni Corp. upon coming home from war. But her militaristic manner that had proved useful during wartime only crushed morale even further after their country suffered so much loss. Touga had to replace her lest the company bleed out human capital and shutter. As a result, she didn't speak to him for five years, and to this day, she had refused to help with the company, even though she was more than capable.
Izayoi had been right all those centuries ago. Inukimi felt all sorts of emotions—and she felt them deeply. So deeply that she sought to return that same pain tenfold upon those who hurt her.
"She does, Sesshoumaru. She just has a hard time expressing it—like someone else I know." He gave his son a pointed look, which Sesshoumaru turned away from. "And that was, in part, what attracted me to Izayoi. She was not afraid to show her feelings—to be vulnerable. Sometimes, I felt Izayoi showed more courage in wearing her heart on her sleeve than your mother did standing against an army of demons."
"And was it this feeling that drove you to mark her as your mate?" Sesshoumaru asked.
Touga laughed. I can't believe he's actually asking me these questions. He's never wanted to know anything about my relationship with Izayoi before. What's brought this on?
It didn't matter. He had to take advantage of this precious opportunity.
"You know, growing up, I was always led to believe that mating was a choice. And I did offer your mother the choice. I was fully willing to share my demonic energy with her. But as I said—as you know—she does not like to leave herself vulnerable. The thought that I would be able to feel her deepest emotions probably frightened her more than the idea that we would live and die together. So we never mated. And then I met Izayoi, and in the moment, it just felt so right that I couldn't help myself. And that's when I realized that mating was instinctual, not something you necessarily plan. There were moments with your mother that I felt a certain urge to mark her…but she could sense that, and she wouldn't have any of it. She also had the power to stop me. Izayoi didn't, so when I marked her, it took us both by surprise."
Sesshoumaru stared at the ground, a musing look on his face.
Touga decided to test the waters. "Is there a…reason for these questions, Sesshoumaru? You didn't even ask this much when going through puberty." He laughed weakly. "You took The Talk way more in stride than Inuyasha did."
And that was saying something, given how disgusted Sesshoumaru had been. In comparison, Inuyasha had displayed a rainbow of emotions—literally. Touga had started out by explaining the difference in male and female genitals to Inuyasha, which made the boy flush red. Once Touga made it to the actual mechanics of sex, his face had bleached white in shock. When Touga tacked on possible dog-like tendencies that might arise in him, Inuyasha's face had turned green, and he promptly ran away before Touga could finish.
But at least Inuyasha hadn't asked Touga about his sex life, like Sesshoumaru had, though he understood better now why that had been. Sesshoumaru had known he would mate with Izayoi, and he had been trying to understand why.
Realization dawned.
Of course. Sesshoumaru only asked these sorts of questions when something was truly bothering him. But if he already understood why Touga had mated Izayoi, then what had brought on these latest queries?
"I only wondered if the son would follow in his father's footsteps," Sesshoumaru replied.
He asked how you know what love feels like. Could it be?
Was Sesshoumaru in love? Or, at least, trying to figure out if he was?
This was a development of gargantuan proportions.
Touga's mind raced as they got back in the car and drove home. He wouldn't prod Sesshoumaru anymore about this, for his son would likely just clam up. But he couldn't keep such musings to himself. Inukimi knew their son better than he did. He would corroborate with her.
And then maybe, just maybe, they could help prevent their son from living a lonely life.
When they arrived back at the estate, Touga followed Sesshoumaru over to his and Inukimi's house. Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder and frowned as Touga entered behind him.
"Aren't you going home?" he asked.
"I need to speak with your mother first," Touga answered. Sesshoumaru gave him a wary look but then headed towards his room. When Touga heard the door to Sesshoumaru's room shut, he proceeded to the living room, where he knew his first wife would be. She reclined on her divan, as she often did, scrolling through the news on her tablet.
She lifted her gaze to meet his. "And what, pray tell, did you need to speak with me about?"
Touga sat down on her chaise, and she grudgingly made room for him. "Have you noticed anything strange about Sesshoumaru lately?"
"You mean aside from that 'impromptu vacation' a few months ago and the fact that he's been getting snippy lately?"
If even Inukimi had noticed Sesshoumaru's shortened temper, then he knew something was wrong with their son. "Precisely. I might have some insight."
"Oh?"
"Today, Sesshoumaru was asking about love and mating."
Inukimi's golden gaze bored into his. "Why?"
"He claimed he was trying to understand Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome."
"Who?"
"Inuyasha's girlfriend."
"Ah. The one who dumped him?" Touga nodded. "I see. And?"
Touga's brows furrowed. "And what?"
"That's your insight? He asked some questions?"
"Kimi, you know he doesn't like to talk about that sort of thing. I wonder if he might be starting to feel…lonely. His brother's love life is moving forward, and maybe that sparked something in him."
He expected her to contradict him, but instead, she set aside her tablet and gave him her full attention. "I suppose it's possible. It's not easy to watch those around you suddenly shift into a new state of life while you're left behind."
Touga clenched his teeth. Seven hundred years, and she was still slipping barbed words at him to poison him with guilt. He ignored the bait. "I want to help him, but you know he'll never ask for it. Isn't there something we can do regardless? You've tried to set him up before, haven't you?"
With their species dying out, Inukimi had impressed upon Sesshoumaru his duty towards continuing their noble line. Just as she had commanded that it was time he stepped into his responsibilities in helping run the family company, so too had she decreed that his carefree days of bachelorhood were numbered. Many times over the course of the last century and a half, she had lamented how her affection for him clouded her judgment, causing her to spoil him and let him go too long without settling down.
"Unsuccessfully, you'll recall," Inukimi answered. Indeed, Sesshoumaru had so far successfully resisted all her efforts. "I am hesitant to push him into an arrangement in which he is not at least fond of the other party. Experience has taught me that does not end well."
There, Touga had to agree with her.
"However, if you think he has someone in mind…?"
"I'm not sure whether or not he does. But the who's who of demon society will all be in attendance at Naraku's gala tonight. Perhaps we should keep an eye out to see with whom he interacts."
Inukimi sighed. "A mother's work is truly never done. Very well. Tonight, I'll judge for myself whether or not your words have any standing. But I have a few candidates in mind for him myself, so don't expect me to just stand by as an idle sentinel."
Touga grabbed her hand and squeezed it, smiling at her. "Thank you, Kimi. I know you wish for his happiness just as much as I do."
Inukimi stared at their interlocked hands to the point that Touga became self-conscious and withdrew. When they had started living together again, there had been some awkwardness at first, as everyone adjusted to the new status quo, but he had been surprised by just how quickly they slipped back into a familiar way of living—minus the bedroom antics, of course.
But then there were times, like now, when the familiarity went too far and only dredged up awkwardness and a phantom pain.
He stood up, and as he walked away, Inukimi murmured, "Happiness is easier for some to find than others."
That night, Inukimi was true to her word. As dozens of demons clad in evening wear crowded into the evergreen-festooned ballroom, she kept her eye out for any women who approached her son—or vice versa. She noted that that slinky Kagura had her eyes on Sesshoumaru from the start, though he pointedly ignored her—along with every other female in the room.
Either he was staying on guard because his family was nearby, or Touga was imagining things. She decided a test was in order.
She sidled up to one Princess Abi and engaged her in some conversation. Inukimi judged the bird demoness to be refined, powerful, beautiful, and—most importantly—descended from a noble line. The only mark against her that Inukimi could see was that she carried around a pet bird (if one could call the gray pterodactyl-like creature that) on her shoulder. But it was a quick she could overlook, so perhaps Sesshoumaru could as well.
She beckoned her son over and introduced him. As Princess Abi launched into her introduction, Inukimi appraised her son. Alas, the boy appeared rather bored. Then again, he always appeared that way, so it was difficult to tell when he was actually interested in something—or someone.
Still, when he gave no more than his usual curt responses to the princess, Inukimi was beginning to think Touga was imagining things. If Sesshoumaru really were interested in finding a mate, then shouldn't he be jumping at the chance to peruse a selection?
Moments later, Izayoi came and pulled Sesshoumaru outside, citing a work emergency. Kagura soon followed him, and Izayoi returned without her stepson. Curious. Was there something happening there?
As much as she would have liked to spy on her son, she would respect his privacy in this regard. But he would get an interrogation later.
Naraku had hired a live demon band for the evening, and after a significant pause, the lilting, ancient tunes morphed into the classical instruments of Europe. Their host had also requested a Western-style dance floor be set up as part of the fete, so when then band flowed into a classical waltz, couples took to the floor, holding each other in the ballroom style and dropping the ambiance of the party back a couple centuries to a time when Westerners had first started introducing their ways to the Japanese. Demons, long-lived creatures that they were, preferred the old-fashioned dances to the mindless gyrations of the current age.
Inukimi idly ran a taloned finger along the rim of her wine glass as she waited for Sesshoumaru to reappear. At least he could give her some company at their otherwise empty table. She hated when dancing was involved in these soirees. Not because she hated to dance. No—a secret part of her enjoyed that. Dancing and martial arts held so many of the same movements, after all. She simply no longer had a built-in partner with whom to dance.
Her eyes cut to the floor where Touga swept Izayoi along in the circle of other dancers. After a century and a half of living together, she was quite used to seeing them together and happy.
But just because she was used to it didn't mean the pain hurt any less. She just anticipated it.
As a part of their human disguises, she and Izayoi went back and forth being Touga's public wife. Demons all knew that Izayoi was his mate and still believed him to be divorced to Inukimi. So when Inukimi's terms as his wife came around, they were bittersweet affairs. She enjoyed being able to claim him in public once more and stand side-by-side with him. She relished every touch—their arms looped together and the sparse but occasional polite kisses they had to give to each other to sell their affection to others. But while Inukimi took advantage of every opportunity to be near him in those times, there was one she had never reclaimed: those of the bedroom. After all, in the privacy of their homes, Izayoi retained her status as his "one and only" wife, even though Inukimi was still legally his as well.
Oh, she would certainly lure him back to her bed one day. Obviously, the easiest time would be when she was in heat. Even though the mating bond purportedly rendered all others aside from one's mate undesirable in a demon's eye, Inukimi noticed that whenever her heats began, Touga got antsy. Of course, once upon a time, she would have cleared her palace of males while she went through her heat, but ever since she had started living on the estate, she tended to be the one to go on an extended vacation. Alas, it wasn't as if she could dismiss all the men at her whim anymore. While she was certain the staff would love a holiday, Touga would blow a gasket if she left only the women to work (discrimination, apparently) or gave everyone two to three spontaneous weeks of paid leave (and he would never allow her to force them out on unpaid leave).
Even so, the idea of manipulating him with mere pheromones did not satisfy her, which was why she had never put the plan into action. She wanted him to come back to her because he wanted do—not just because instinct drove him to.
Yet the fact remained that if he believed he could be tempted, even while mated, then she had a chance.
Still, it was easier said than done. In all these years where she had played the supportive, human wife, he had never given any indication that he wished to resume their relationship. Did he think she was acting? She supposed it was possible, but then how could she make him realize that she wasn't? If she just confessed her feelings, would he even believe her?
A shadow fell over her, and she looked up to find Kirinmaru extending a hand to her. "Would you care to dance, my lady?"
Inukimi considered. Nothing was stopping her from accepting, except that she didn't want to give anyone—Kirinmaru included—the wrong idea. But then, his favor towards her wasn't exactly a secret after so many centuries, so the gossip mill had long since been churning.
After all, when have I ever let others' opinions of me stop me from doing what I want?
"Very well then," she said, placing a gloved hand into his. He brought her to the dance floor and seamlessly swept them into the ring of dancers. As they twirled, Inukimi caught a flash of Touga's face watching them from across the floor. Though is features appeared neutral enough, the fact that he had been smiling at his human bride, enraptured with her and only her not a moment before brought a coil of pleasure to her heart.
Dogs never did like others encroaching on their territories….
"An empress like yourself should not hide such beauty beneath a tablecloth," Kirinmaru said, spinning her out from him so that her plum, velvet evening gown swirled out around her ankles.
"Your flattery is wasted on me, Kirinmaru, though it is nonetheless appreciated," she answered.
Kirinmaru smirked. "So you have told me more times than I can count. But I speak only the truth, my lady. You are not meant to sit on the sidelines while others enjoy the spotlight."
"Such a gilded tongue you have. How many women have fallen prey to it, I wonder?" she asked.
He laughed. "That list is very short, I'm afraid. It would be an honor to have you join it," he added, sending her a meaningful look.
Inukimi broke eye contact, her eyes happening to land on Zero, who looked as if she had stepped straight out of a black-and-white photograph, given the contrast of her pasty skin and hair against the midnight pitch of her off-the-shoulder gown. A spider-like silver necklace glimmered, its legs reaching across her chest, only adding to her cold demeanor.
Zero scowled at her. Inukimi smirked. "Your sister seems none too happy to see me in your arms."
"She will get over it."
They both knew that was a lie—both aware how Zero pined after Touga and how her jealousy had ensured she would never take a liking to Inukimi, despite the fact that Touga no longer favored her as his wife.
However, Kirinmaru continued, to Inukimi's surprise. "Though I must admit, I grow more and more…concerned for her wellbeing. For too long now, she has sustained herself on dreams that will never come true."
Inukimi gritted her teeth. She knew Kirinmaru had not directed the words at her, and yet she felt them pierce her heart anyway. For what was she doing if not sustaining herself on hopeless dreams as well? Decades had passed since she started living with Touga again, and yet nothing had changed in their relationship. He was still solely devoted to Izayoi.
Just then, Sesshoumaru reentered the room. Zero watched him for a moment before approaching, and the two engaged in a conversation, glancing back at Inukimi and Kirinmaru.
What could they be talking about? Sesshoumaru holds about as much regard for Zero as I do.
Then, to her utter shock, Sesshoumaru brought Zero to the dance floor.
Sesshoumaru never dances. And with Zero, of all people?
Was Touga right then? Was Sesshoumaru getting so desperately lonely?
Well, she could empathize with desperation, although she had not thrown in her lot with other lovers yet.
"Now that's something I never thought I'd see," Kirinmaru remarked.
"Indeed. Touga has intimated that Sesshoumaru might be…having a change of heart, as it were," Inukimi noted.
Kirinmaru looked at her. "Is that so?" He watched the couple dance for several seconds. "What do you think of them—together?"
"Sesshoumaru and Zero?" Inukimi bit back a scoff, fighting to keep her hackles from raising. She would rather eat her own tongue than have Zero for a daughter-in-law. "This joke is getting old, Kirinmaru." It was not the first time he had brought up the prospect to her and Touga.
"You say that, but if it's true he's having a change of heart, then perhaps now is the time to strike."
Inukimi frowned, though she couldn't disagree. Still, she fell back on the refrain she and Touga had used for decades. "I'm not sure they're…suited."
"Sometimes, we must force our loved ones' hands for their own good."
"Are you speaking of an arranged match? In this day and age?"
"Sometimes, the old ways are the best," Kirinmaru answered.
"Yet a marriage without love can wither," Inukimi countered.
"But it can last long enough to produce fruit. And that is what concerns you, is it not?"
Inukimi gritted her teeth. He had her there. If Sesshoumaru were to sire a child, she would rather he do so with someone of impeccable demon lineage, given his own distinguished line. There were so few demons left—and unattached ones at that—that pickings were already slim.
She tried a different avenue. "And would Zero agree to such a match?"
Kirinmaru hummed. "I would not suggest it if I did not think it could make my sister happy. After all, while Sesshoumaru favors your more, he does resemble his father in some fashions. I've long held hopes that, perhaps with him…my sister might learn to move on."
Inukimi frowned. She didn't quite like the sound of Zero using her son as a substitute for Touga. Or perhaps she just didn't like the idea of Zero worming her way into the family to be near Touga, even if she was married to his son. She knew only too well the sorts of desires one nurtured just from forced proximity.
"I see. Well, just as you hope for your sister's happiness, I confess the same in regards to my son."
Kirinmaru gave her a pitying smile. "Be honest, Inukimi. Do you think Sesshoumaru could be happy with anyone?"
Inukimi's brows furrowed. "I have to believe so." They were cut from the same cloth, after all. But then, Akuru had given Sesshoumaru a far crueler test than he had Inukimi, as far as she was concerned. It did not surprise her that he had closed his heart off so, yet if it was possible for her to learn to love again, surely he could too.
Kirinmaru nodded his head in acquiescence. "Forgive me if that was too rude. But can you blame me for asking the question? From where I stand, I see a demon who barely tolerates his own family. And I hear the only reason he retains that imp of his is that the demon was too tenacious a servant to leave. So it illustrates my point: sometimes, a forced relationship can be the most beneficial."
Inukimi mulled over his words. It was true that her and Sesshoumaru's situations were not exactly the same. While she hadn't known Touga well before their marriage, it had been her choice to impose a test to marry the strongest candidate. She had resolved to wed whoever that had been. She had understood her duty—from both a noble standpoint and from her test with Akuru, showing the decline of demon civilization.
But if she had one failure as a parent, it was that she had not sufficiently impressed that duty upon her own son.
Maybe she did need to start reinforcing the concept of responsibility on him. "Better late than never," as the saying went.
"I can concede the point—although I warn you, Sesshoumaru will not agree easily."
Kirinmaru smiled indulgently. "He is a dutiful son. Did he not take partial command of your Sanctuary after you opened it? I have no doubt that if you command it of him, he will follow."
Inukimi laughed. "You think too highly of me, Kirinmaru. And you underestimate my son's stubbornness. I cannot command him in a matter such as this." I am surprised he even heeded me at all when I told him to help his father and brother run the family business.
Kirinmaru met her gaze, his voice kind but threaded with steel. "…But I can."
A sliver of apprehension slipped into Inukimi's heart—as if one of the support suspending the Sword of Damocles broke over her head.
His grip tightened on her hand and waist. "Believe me when I say I never intended to wield this as a weapon. But I remind you that the dog demon general owes me a life debt. He cannot repay the debt I have in mind—a husband for my sister—but his firstborn son can."
At that moment, the music came to a close, and Kirinmaru and Inukimi stopped their dance, their arms lowering, though he still kept hold of her hand. Sesshoumaru broke apart from Zero and immediately walked away.
Inukimi's brows puckered as she considered Kirinmaru's words. "You've forced my hand."
Kirinmaru brought her hand up and encased it with the other. "Do not look at me with such betrayal, my lady. I have no wish to harm you or yours. Indeed, I must speak with Zero first myself. If she does not agree to it, it will take…time for me to help her see the light. But if she does agree to it and Sesshoumaru proposes…I will consider the debt repaid."
Inukimi nodded. It was a tempting offer, to be sure—if only to rid their family of the specter of that debt hanging over them. She left Kirinmaru then, heading straight for Sesshoumaru. She needed to know what that dance was all about.
"What was that, Sesshoumaru?" she asked as she approached.
"What do you mean?"
"I never thought to see you willingly bring Zero onto the dance floor."
Sesshoumaru looked down at her from the corner of his eye and glared. "Next time you make a bet with Zero, Mother, keep me out of it."
Inukimi twisted her lips. "What on earth are you talking about, son? I've barely said two words to her all evening."
Sesshoumaru frowned in confusion and then looked up. Inukimi followed his gaze over to Zero, who now stood next to her brother. But Zero's gaze bored straight into Sesshoumaru, laughter written in the lines of her smiling eyes and upturned lips.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in shock, and Inukimi looked back and forth between the two of them, a smile tugging at her lips despite herself. Is that how she got him onto the dance floor? I would love to know just what sort of bet this was to make him comply. Then she chortled. "Oh, my poor Sesshoumaru. I do believe you've met your match."
"Zero is not my match, Mother."
"I'm not sure about that, son. After all, it's not every day that a woman can get the best of you and isn't afraid to earn your ire."
Zero certainly liked to play her games, and while Inukimi didn't enjoy when she was on the receiving end, she could see the appeal when they were directed at others—even her son. Maybe, as Kirinmaru had said, a match like this was for the best. Zero would challenge him, and Inukimi knew from experience that in a marriage that did not start with love, the need to challenge and dominate aroused feelings that could help supplant it. Then, with time, love would grow.
She would have to be sure to counsel her son not to take his sweet time with admitting his love when it finally sprouted. She had learned from her own mistakes, after all, and she did not want to see him make the same ones.
Even so, the thought of Zero in their home rankled. Nothing was official yet, so they still had time—but she had to act quickly.
Over the course of the next day, she had her servants put together data on all the eligible demonesses that she could think of. She included Zero just in case. Then she left the pile on Sesshoumaru's desk while he was at the Sanctuary.
If Sesshoumaru seized this opportunity, he could still keep his fate in his own hands. And if not…at least she could rest easy that she had given him the chance.
Time moved differently for demons, and Inukimi was used to that slow pace of life. Change did not come frequently or quickly when one lived for thousands of years, and so she did not expect Zero to make any sort of decision within the next year—perhaps even this century.
So when she received a call from Kirinmaru only a few weeks later, it took her by surprise.
"Zero has agreed to the betrothal—on the condition that Sesshoumaru himself asks her to marry him. She refuses to have her marriage brokered. Her words, not mine."
Inukimi considered. She had yet to figure out whether Sesshoumaru was truly in love with someone, and she hadn't heard a word from her son about those marriage candidates she left for him—nor had she asked. A crucial mistake. As someone who believed in being proactive, being so reactive made her feel as if she were losing control.
She hated not being in control.
And this was all happening so fast. So much change put her already jittery nerves on edge.
Well, she could play the game of delay as well as any demon.
"I want to hear her say those words myself."
"Very well. Let me get her for you."
"No. I will pay you a visit as soon as my schedule opens up." It was much easier to detect lies face-to-face than over the phone. Though Zero's courtly etiquette was well-practiced, Inukimi felt confident she could see through any act.
Kirinmaru sounded only too pleased. "But of course, my lady."
Both Kirinmaru and Zero were well aware of her retired status, so she could not feign business for too long. Eventually, she resigned herself to visiting their estate on the edge of Tokyo Bay.
Kirinmaru invited her into their sitting room and served her some tea, ever the gracious host. But once his sister arrived, he made himself scare. Zero sat down and waited for Inukimi to speak, a spider sitting at the edge of its web.
Inukimi sipped her tea before beginning. "You do not love Sesshoumaru," she stated.
Zero laughed. "No, I do not."
"Then why agree to this match?"
Zero's mocking smile fell, and she turned and stared out the window for a moment. Inukimi let the demoness gather her thoughts. Unlike humans, pressed for time in their short little lives, demons did not need to hurry to string together the first inconsequential musings that came to mind.
"I have been at this game longer than you have, Inukimi, and I am tired of it," Zero finally said.
"What game?" the dog demon replied.
"Pining."
Inukimi stiffened, cutting the spider demon a dark look.
Zero chuckled. "Did you think I would not know? I have seen your heart, Inukimi, and I know what lies in it."
"And how would you have done such a thing?"
Zero smirked at her, tracing her nail along the amber pommel of her cane. "Come now, you cannot expect me to reveal all my secrets to you. My secret pain will have to suffice for today. Know that it is enough for me to agree to Kirinmaru's suggestion. I will marry your son—but he will need to ask."
"You might be waiting quite a while then," Inukimi murmured.
Zero raised an eyebrow. "I was under the impression you would be helping to facilitate this union. Oh believe me, I was shocked when my brother told me. I couldn't believe you, of all people, would be willing to welcome me into your family, especially as your daughter-in-law."
Better than as a sister-wife. Inukimi already had one too many of those.
"Sometimes we must compromise when a greater cause is at stake," Inukimi replied.
Zero chuckled. "You could just admit you wish to be a grandmother."
"Only insofar as I wish to see our line continued. It will not end with my son—not under my watch."
Zero nodded. "I think I should like a child. I had a niece once. I do miss her dearly."
Inukimi tried to hide her shock but was apparently unsuccessful.
Zero chuckled. "Did you not know that? I see I have given you a second secret to take home then. Yes, eons ago, my brother had a wife and child. Both were slain."
Not a mate then—just a wife, Inukimi noted. Obviously; he too would have died had he mated his daughter's mother. She did not know why it mattered to her. Was it because it cast his courtship in a new light now? Was he still grieving and looking for a replacement—like Zero was? Or were his affections genuinely for her? She was rather irked to find out he had kept such a secret from her all these centuries despite his overt attempts to woo her.
"It is one of the reasons we came to these isolated islands—to escape the painful memories," Zero continued. "He used to take dear Rion everywhere, and she was the loveliest creature—craving adventure as much as he did."
Inukimi considered Zero more emotional than other demons, but there was a wistful look in her eyes that Inukimi had never seen before. One she could empathize with.
I too would not be the same if Sesshoumaru died.
She would accept it, of course. Survival of the fittest and all that. But in her heart of hearts, she would grieve his loss.
Zero took a deep breath. "So, I am ready to move on with my life. It has moved in the same grooves of its worn trail long enough."
Uncomfortable with the mood this conversation had taken, Inukimi ventured back into a more familiar rapport. "You're not as young as you used to be, so pardon me for asking if such a thing is still possible? You'll understand if I decline this engagement if it isn't so."
Zero scowled at her. "I see where your son learned his manners, though admittedly, your delivery is far more refined. Yes, Inukimi, I am still just as capable as you are, I imagine."
Inukimi stood up then. "Then I believe we are done here. I have what information I need."
"Of course. Let me see you to the door…Mother-in-Law." Zero's teasing smile returned.
Inukimi fought back a shiver. That form of address just felt so wrong. "No need for that, Zero. You are not betrothed quite yet, and whatever the case may be, you can continue to address me as you always have."
"Oh, I don't believe that's fit for public hearing," Zero rejoined. Inukimi shot her a dark look, which just made the spider demon laugh. "Come now, if you can't take a joke like that, I'm afraid we're going to have that unfortunate, stereotypical mother/daughter-in-law relationship."
Inukimi wondered if she could even survive such a relationship. Your time has run out, Sesshoumaru. But I will still give you one last chance.
When Inukimi was settled in the back of her car and the chauffeur drove off, she took out her phone to turn it off silent. She found a text from Touga waiting in the thread between them and Sesshoumaru.
Touga: Come over for a family dinner tonight. Dress casually.
Inukimi blinked in surprise. This was quite unexpected. She assumed by "family," he included Inuyasha and Izayoi—otherwise, there he would not have needed "dinner" as a pretense. What exactly was her husband planning?
AN: That feeling when you want to retcon because of something you wrote over two years ago…. Haha, there's one specific paragraph in this chapter that's given me no end of grief , because when I wrote My Sanctuary, I hadn't quite fleshed out Touga's and Inukimi's past relationship. Well, I hope the exposition-heavy chunk that followed it made it work. 😅