Mimics

by Fallen Crest

Trion soldiers with the ability to transform into deceased loved ones have made their way to Japan. Border will have to face their worse enemy yet...the ones who created Border: Mogami Soichi and Kuga Yugo. In the face of Mogami and Yugo, can Jin and Yuma find the strength to destroy the ones they already loss once before?

70. Chapter 70: Acceptance

A/N: I don't own World Trigger

Mimics

Chapter 70: Acceptance

Yuma stood in the doorway of his bedroom, just blinking in confusion. It was only seven in the morning so no one else was here since as soon as the sun had risen this morning, he had run out of Border HQ while everyone was still sleeping as he wanted to get back to Tamakoma as soon as possible. It would probably cause concern for his friends for him to just disappear, but he also knew that Jin had been staring at him since the battle with Yugo had ended so he was likely seeing his future and knew that Yuma was going to leave HQ as soon as it was safe to do.

Yuma just needed time out of headquarters where he had been trapped for days while slowly dying from Yugo siphoning all his Trion away. He needed some place where Yugo's presence hadn't been so heavy. Unfortunately, Yugo had attacked HQ and Tamakoma so neither location was free of Yugo's mark. However, Yuma's bedroom was a nice sanctuary since Yugo hadn't breeched the privacy of his room.

Yugo hadn't breeched it, but someone had because sitting on his bed was a stuffed animal. He was pretty sure it was the animal known as a cougar which he only knew because Osamu showed him a picture of a cougar after Yuma got confused as to why Oji made that his nickname.

Considering Yuma was just in his room a few days, he knew for certain the stuffed animal was not here before. No one had been in Tamakoma since he came here with Osamu and Hyuse the other day except for yesterday when Shiori and Konami said they would be returning here to stock up the fridge.

Closing the door behind him, Yuma made his way over to his bed to pick up the cougar, curiously. It was so soft. He couldn't remember the last time he had a stuffed animal, if he ever had one. He couldn't remember his parents giving him one when he was a kid, but he was certain they had to have at some point.

A slight smile crossed Yuma's face when he turned the toy over and saw a collar on it with a tag that seemed to have been customized for him as it had 'Cougar' engraved in it. The question was who would have gone out of their way for this. Shiori or Konami? He supposed it was possible they went in together on the gift for him.

Yuma threw himself on the bed and put the cougar next to him, absentmindedly patting it on the head, relaxing at the softness of the fur between his fingers. He wondered if this kind of softness was why people patted him on the head all of the time. It was somehow providing him a strange sense of comfort.

It wasn't the type of comfort he wanted though.

The comfort he wanted just wasn't possible to get.

He felt alone.

Logically, Yuma knew he wasn't alone. Even when his dad first died five years ago, he hadn't been alone, but just like back then, he couldn't face people while dealing with his guilt. He did his best to push Raymond and his kids away and now he was doing the same with his friends in Border. It's not that Yuma wanted to be alone, but he simply didn't have the energy mentally to want to deal with anyone after what happened yesterday. He was too busy being eaten alive by guilt and the sudden feeling of being so lost after losing his parents again. He got them back for a brief time, even if Yugo was an enemy, just to lose them again.

A reminder of what he had loved and lost years ago.

"If I ever die, I want you to go to Japan and find my friend in Border."

Yuma glanced at his father, frowning. "Why do you keep saying that all the time?"

Yugo stared up at the stars, a seemingly distant look in his eyes as if he was seeing something Yuma couldn't see. "Because I need to know you'll be taken care of if I'm not here."

Yuma's brows furrowed. "You're super strong though so you'll always be here!"

"It doesn't matter how strong you are. There will always be someone out there that is stronger than you." Yugo shot his son a meaningful look. "It's why you should never get complacent or look down on your opponent. You never know their strength or what kind of tricks they are hiding. Anyone can lose." He pulled his son close to him and buried his face in his hair.

Yuma tried to tilt his head back to look up at his dad, but couldn't get his head to move because of his dad's weight. For some reason, he felt like he was missing something important here.

"I already lost your mother. I can't bear it if something were to happen to you so if I die, I need to know you will be safe." Yugo said.

"I can take care of myself." Yuma replied.

"Yuma, please." Yugo said, tightening his hug in his son. "Find my friend in Border if I die. You remember his name?"

"Mogami Soichi." Yuma relented if only to ease his dad's concern right now. One of these days, he was going to show his dad just how strong he was and why he didn't need to constantly worry about him. Yuma didn't need protected by anyone.

Yuma couldn't do anything right. He was supposed to show his dad there was nothing to worry about, but in the end, he had to once again sit there and rely on Yugo to save him. The one chance he would have to prove to his father that he would be alright without him in his life and he messed it up.

He probably just made Yugo more worried for him at the end when he forced his real body back to this world to make Yugo seal it back in the Black Trigger. Yugo was no fool. He would have realized in a split second that what Yuma did would shorten the time he had left. Yuma had gone out of his way to incite fear and worry in his father to get what he wanted.

In a sense, it could be argued that Yuma won the fight. He got his father to do what he wanted, but it was at a great cost. Yugo had to make a sacrifice, Yuma got a harsh reminder of losing someone he loves by losing his dad a second time, and Yuma shortened his life even more by doing this.

Nothing about this felt like a win.

*Mimics*

"Is it alright that Kuga went back super early?" Osamu asked.

Jin twisted around in his seat to look at Osamu, Hyuse, and Yotaro in the back seat while Reiji drove them back to Tamakoma. "If I thought it would be an issue, I would have told him last night to not leave HQ before breakfast. Meraki is no longer in range so there is no risk of attack."

Osamu met Jin's eyes straight on. "I'm not worried about an attack. I know Kuga can take care of himself in a fight." Well, a fight where his enemy wasn't his father which would cause him to hesitate. However, right now, there was no chance of a Mimic of Kuga Yugo showing up again. They were completely in the clear of any issues with Yuma's parents which was why he had no concerns with Yuma getting into any kind of trouble of the physical kind.

"Yuma never came back to the barracks last night either. He really was serious about wanting to be alone." Hyuse added while staring out the window at the Restricted Zone flashing past them as it was a better view than looking at Jin.

"What happened to Yuma?" Yotaro asked. He was feeling even more out of the loop after he had been told to stay with Ruka for the past few days. When Ruka said he could finally return to Tamakoma yesterday, he had been so excited, but he could just tell from everyone's expressions that something was wrong and then Yuma had come back but not as the happy, easy-going agent he had come to known the last few months. He seemed to be really down about something.

Jin's eyes flickered to Yotaro. He didn't want to lie to Yotaro since kids weren't oblivious to things going on. They just couldn't always comprehend it to the difficult levels. "Yuma is going through a tough time. It's the anniversary of when his father died a few years ago and he is depressed from that." He wasn't sure how much of grief and depression that Yotaro would understand. He did experience it when his country was destroyed and his parents killed, but he was an infant at the time so it's not like he had any memories of it. However, Tamakoma never hid the truth from Yotaro about where he came from or who he was because it was a part of him even if he couldn't remember it.

"Oh." Yotaro glanced down between his seat and the passenger seat at Raijinmaru. "He can play with Raijinmaru. That always gets a smile out of him."

Jin smiled fondly at the young boy. "It sure does."

Hyuse rolled his eyes, but kept facing the window so Yotaro wouldn't see. Besides, it was more towards Jin anyway. "Despite what his Trion body is trying to tell you, Yuma is not made of glass. You don't need to treat him with kid gloves."

"It's called compassion." Osamu disagreed.

"You don't need to change how you act towards him to be compassionate." Hyuse argued. "It will just make him feel weird to have everyone treating him gently and differently to before because it will be a stark reminder of what happened yesterday."

"It's easy to say don't change how we treat him, but it's not as easy to do after seeing the damage done to his real body and the sacrifice Kuga-san made." Reiji said. "It will be hard to look at Yuma and not see that moment." He glanced in the rearview mirror to look very briefly at the group in the back. "For Yuma's sake though, we should try to retain a normal routine. It will help him recover from this."

Osamu nodded in agreement. Compassion was about empathy and understanding the pain someone was going through. Osamu never went through what Yuma did, but he felt so bad for his friend. His own heart was constricting at the thought of how Yuma must be feeling right now. He couldn't change what Yuma went through. He could only be his friend right now.

"So, Yuma shouldn't play with Raijinmaru?" Yotaro asked.

"He can since that is normal for him." Jin replied. "Just don't act like he is going to break at the smallest thing. Hyuse got that part right."

"It also means don't avoid talking about this past week. Acting like what happened didn't happen will only make things harder. We should talk about it because it's not healthy to keep it all bottled up." Reiji added.

"And yet you're willing to let Yuma go off alone with his thoughts tormenting him because none of us are with him to talk to him." Hyuse retorted.

"Being alone to think on what happened and talking with others about it are both good ways to overcome it. Yuma needs some time right now so we're going to give that to him and be ready to talk with him when he's ready." Jin replied.

"How long will that be?" Yotaro asked.

"Well, he didn't take long to open up when he first came to Japan." Osamu said. "However, at that point, it had been four years since his dad's death. He had time to heal enough but this past week ripped all that progress away."

Jin turned back around in his seat to watch the road as Reiji finally reached the end of the Restricted Zone and took them onto public roads. As they entered the public roads, life entered the streets in the form of other vehicles and people walking along the sidewalk. There was always something strange about seeing people going about their lives while theirs was falling apart. "I know Yuma will recover from this." He said at last.

Osamu stared at the back of Jin's head, frowning. "And what about you, Jin-san? How do you feel?"

"I'm fine, Osamu." Jin looked over his shoulder, flashing a grin at his kouhai. "Don't I look it?"

"Looks fake as hell." Hyuse said without even turning away from his window to look at Jin. "You and Yuma may be similar in a lot of ways, but right now, you two are trying to hide your pain in different ways. You behind a smile and Yuma hiding behind closed doors."

Jin's smile slackened a bit, but didn't go away completely. For as much as Hyuse hated him, he sure paid attention, though that was likely a 'keep your enemies close' type of thing. "I acknowledge the pain I went through last week. I'm not saying I'm over what happened, but I know I can heal from it." He knew that for certain because he had already lost Mogami once and managed to get back on his feet which meant he could do it again. It was why, even if he didn't use his side effect, he knew Yuma would be fine as well. They could both recover from this. "Mogami-san died a long time ago. I'm not going to falter now just because Meraki forced us to face the past."

Jin could be strong and get through this. It did hurt a bit more right now because he was the one to kill Mogami the other night, but he just needed to reminder himself that despite how real Mogami felt at the end, he was still just a Trion Soldier in the end. However, even though that was what Jin told himself to help himself through this, he didn't fault Yuma for hurting as much as he was right now. He knew that Yuma knew it was just Trion Soldiers he dealt with yesterday, but that didn't change the fact that he put himself in a perilous situation with a version of his dad that brought forth his past trauma.

"If you did falter, it would be letting Meraki win." Hyuse said.

"I don't think Meraki's goal in this attack was to demoralize our agents." Osamu replied.

"But it would help weaken Border if top agents fall into a depression because of being attacked by their loved ones." Hyuse replied. "It's a good strategy to attack your enemies mentally like that. Yuma might hate Mimics since Meraki stole their design from his mother, but they make for a good weapon for a reason."

"It's a good strategy, yes, but let's not praise them." Osamu protested.

"You're only saying that because their strategy almost broke Yuma." Hyuse retorted. "But seeing your enemy's strategy and learning from it is a viable strategy as well. It's a part of the reason your Rank Wars work as well as they do. It allows Border to get stronger much faster than how we do in the Neighborhood. You can fight as much as you want as well as learning strategy and tactics by watching your allies in combat. It's the same with fighting your enemy on a real battlefield. See their strategies and then turning around and using them against them. You can't hesitate to take a good idea and use it for yourself just because your enemy did it first and you hate them so you don't want to copy them."

And that was the truth. Osamu hasn't used anything he learned from his enemies in combat yet, but he has used tricks he learned from Netsuki to get what he wanted. Netsuki wasn't an enemy, but considering the higher ups didn't like Neighbors and he had two on his team, he was wary of them and didn't completely trust them when it came to the safety of his team.

"Meraki clearly thought turning Inchoate into Mimics would be a powerful weapon for them to have." Jin said, staring out the window at his side to stare at the people on the sidewalk going about their morning. "They weren't wrong. We barely made it out of this and the only reason we did is because of the flaw in the Mimic design. It doesn't feel much like a win on our end because of that."

"I disagree." Reiji said. "Regardless of how we got here, we, alongside Mogami-san and Kuga-san, all got what we wanted. Maybe the battle didn't go the way you wanted, but we didn't lose anything on our side and Meraki didn't gain anything from this attack."

Jin's nails dug into the arm rest on the passenger door as he no longer saw the civilians on the sidewalk. Instead, he was seeing Mogami dying in his arms after getting impaled by his sword. It was what both sides wanted. That was true, but it didn't make it hurt any less knowing he stabbed Mogami while knowing there was no breaking of a Trion body and returning to a real body after he did it. It was just death for a Mimic. Perhaps it would have been easier to deal with if the Mimic lost the form of the person it transformed into when it died. At least then, it would have been a clear reminder of it just being a Trion Soldier.

Hyuse perked up a bit as Tamakoma came into view. He raised a brow at the pristine looking bridge that just a few days ago was a complete mess from Yugo's attack. Border must hire some very good contractors to get the place fixed up as fast as they did. Or, Kido simply wanted the Tamakoma agents out of HQ as fast as possible since they kept destroying stuff while dealing with the Mimics so he got Tamakoma Branch fixed quickly.

As soon as Reiji parked the car, Osamu climbed out after Hyuse and left his partner to get Yotaro and Raijinmaru out of the car. For someone so determined to be gruff and only joining Border to get what he wanted and not because he wanted to make friends, he sure was cute with how close he was to Yotaro and helping to take care of him. Jin encouraged the closeness of the two so Osamu typically stepped to the side when Hyuse was around and Yotaro needed something.

"Welcome home!" Shiori greeted cheerfully as the group made their way inside and got to the living room.

Osamu blinked as the sight of Shiori and Konami who both had their hair pulled back with bandanas. "You're here already?" He glanced at the clock to see it was ten fifteen. It wasn't too early for Shiori and Konami to be here, but there wasn't any reason for any of them to want to get back to Tamakoma so early, except for the fact that they were all probably eager to get to base after being forced out of it for a week.

"Of course we are." Konami smacked the rag she was holding on the counter in front of her. "The contractors did an amazing job of fixing up the place, but they left a mess from the supplies they used and on top of that is the dust build up from us being gone for days. The place needs scrubbed clean." She glared at the boys, throwing a spare rug at Jin's face, who caught it with a grin. "You should have all been back sooner so we can get this place back into shape a lot faster."

"Yes ma'am." Jin said teasingly.

Hyuse looked disgruntled at the idea of scrubbing the place clean and tried to slink away before anyone could tell him no, but barely got five steps to the door before Konami's hand was snatching the hood of his jacket and pulling him back into the discussion of division of chores.

"This is stupid." Hyuse grumbled. "Why doesn't Yuma have to clean with us?"

Shiori raised a brow and looked around the group. "How can he when he isn't here?"

"He's here." Jin looked up towards the ceiling as Yuma's room was upstairs. "He left long before us to come back here."

"Really?" Shiori said surprised. "We haven't seen or heard him and we've been here for two hours already."

"He came back super early to hide in his room so I'm not surprised you didn't realize." Jin replied.

Konami hummed softly, a look of sad understanding entering her eyes. Hiding away and trying to come to terms with grief was something she had seen before from Jin years ago. Back then, he needed time alone before he was ready to talk with everyone and exchange stories about the ones they lost.

"What about Chika?" Shiori asked, glancing at Osamu and Hyuse. "She's not with you either?"

"Chika went home last night. She said she would come by sometime today." Osamu replied. "I think after everything that happened, she really wanted to see her parents."

That was also something that Konami could understand. She had never taken her parents for granted, especially after she suffered the losses she did in Aristera, but seeing a friend go through what Yuma did yesterday really made her appreciate her parents even more. They had always been there for her, always supporting her. She never had to face the harsh reality of losing them like some of her friends have had to go through. It just saddened her to see another one of her friends choosing the path of hiding away while dealing with a loss.

Shiori nodded. "I understand that." She hadn't seen what happened in the field yesterday, but she had heard about it with more detail than she honestly wanted. It had been heartbreaking to hear what had happened so after she and Konami got Tamakoma stocked up with groceries, she had gone home and hugged her parents.

"Is Karasuma-senpai going to join us?" Osamu asked.

"He said he would come by for dinner tonight since he is picking up shifts at his part time to make up for missing work this week to deal with the Mimics." Konami replied.

Osamu nodded.

"So he gets to skip out on cleaning as well?" Hyuse said.

"Silence." Konami smacked Hyuse's arm with her rag. "He is working at his part time so he isn't slacking and Yuma normally always does his part around here. He is allowed the chance to slack while recovering from what happened."

Hyuse got that Yuma needed some time, but he also believed that Yuma needed routine so he didn't get lost in his grief and fall through a hole that was too deep for him to dig himself out of.

"You guys get to cleaning and I'll get lunch made for us." Reiji said as he made his way around the counter, brushing a hand along it as he did. When his hand came back clean, he came to the conclusion that Shiori and Konami spent time cleaning the kitchen first before anything else.

"Make it something simple. I'll be making curry later." Konami said.

"Sandwiches then."

*Mimics*

Yuma sat on his bed with his back against the wall, staring down at the cougar toy sitting on his lap, absentmindedly playing with its ears. He could hear his friends downstairs. At first it had just been the normal noises that he associated with Tamakoma, but he could now hear more noise and more voices had joined in. Osamu and the others must have returned from HQ.

They were downstairs.

It was a simple walk through a couple doors and down the stairs and then Yuma could join them.

And yet, Yuma dug his toes into his bed and pulled his knees closer to his chest, squeezing his stuffed animal between his knees and chest.

He wasn't sure what he wanted.

Being alone right now was making him absolutely miserable, but opening that door and walking downstairs to his friends...

Yuma's hand closed tightly around the cougar.

It felt like it would be a betrayal, of turning his back on his father and mother.

He knew that wasn't true. Yugo always wanted Yuma to live his life.

Yuma knew this.

Yugo wanted his son to be happy.

But, the idea of going downstairs, seeing his friends, and just smiling felt so painful. After everything that happened this week, Yuma knew Yugo and Eleni didn't want him to feel this way. They may be dead, but Yuma was still alive and had the right to enjoy living.

That didn't make it any less hard though.

Yuma wanted to be happy, but the idea of walking to his friends and leaving his memories of his father and mother behind made him sick to his stomach.

A sudden knock at his door had Yuma's shoulders tensing up.

"Yuma?"

Reiji's voice. Yuma lifted his head a bit to stare at the door separating him and Reiji.

"I have sandwiches for lunch."

Yuma swallowed thickly, finding his voice stuck in his throat. It should have been so easy to just speak up, to say anything in response to Reiji, but no sound wanted to come out of his throat. Saying anything, doing anything like opening that door, felt like he would be moving past what happened yesterday.

He wanted to move past it. He hated the way his heart was constricting, the way his parents' faces wouldn't leave his mind, the way his stomach rolled at the thought that he was allowed to face his friends and be happy when his parents were dead.

Why did he feel like this?

His parents died years ago.

What happened yesterday wasn't his real parents dying. They were just Trion Soldiers so why did it hurt so much?

Why did the idea of moving on from what happened make him sick to his stomach?

"I leave the plate by your door then." Reiji said after a moment.

Yuma barely breathed as he listened to a plate hitting the ground and then a pair of footsteps leaving as Reiji respected Yuma's need to be alone.

Alone.

Yuma was all alone.

It was what he told his friends that he wanted, but...

*Mimics*

Kido turned his chair halfway around, finger tapping methodically against his armrest as he stared out the window. On his desk was his laptop playing out the footage from the end of Yugo and Yuma's battle that he acquired from the agents who were there. Had he known that Yuma was going to use such a reckless strategy, he would have spent more time discussing this with Yuma and the others before agreeing to allow Yuma back in the field.

His agents were constantly in danger since they were out in the field fighting Neighbors, but they did what they could to make them as safe as possible by having the bail out function. It didn't mitigate all the danger, especially for those using Black Triggers, but it was better than before Border went public where they were left at the mercy of their enemy if their Trion body got destroyed.

Despite all the safety protocols in place, when he agreed to let Yuma fight his father, he had none of those protections since he was using an old Trigger that didn't have a bail out function. He allowed Yuma to put himself in danger just so he could stop his father from killing him and stealing his Black Trigger and taking it to Meraki.

Kido didn't feel guilty about that. He couldn't afford to ever feel guilty when ordering his agents onto the battlefield. This was their job.

To kill Neighbors.

To protect the city.

And yet, that wasn't all there was to this.

Yugo being here and attacking Yuma had made it highly personal to Yuma, but Yugo wasn't only a father to Yuma. He was a mentor to Rindo and Shinoda. He was a friend to Kido.

Him and Mogami.

It made it just as personal to him as it was to Yuma.

When he saw Mogami the other night, he had been reminded of what he had lost. Mogami and Yugo were his two closest friends from childhood. Yugo left years ago to go to the Neighborhood and then Mogami died in Aristera. He had lost both of them, but there had still been a faint hope that one day Yugo would come back and one of his friends would return to him.

And then Yuma arrived in Japan bearing the news of Yugo's death. Both of his childhood friends were dead which allowed Mimics to steal their faces and voices and taunt them. Taunt them with what they had lost. To make it worse, Mogami and Yugo weren't behaving at all like his friends would with the way they were attacking his agents, trying to steal the Black Triggers, trying to kill Yuma. These weren't the friends he remembered.

Kido's eyes shifted back to the computer to see the footage that he had put on repeat of Yugo holding his son before a blinding light surrounded the duo.

Despite being Mimics, both Kuga and Mogami managed to choose their own path at the end. The friends that had been attacking their organization all week found the strength they needed to end their lives. They allowed Jin and Yuma to get the win they needed.

Though, watching the video of Yugo essentially re-creating his Black Trigger to repair it was showing Kido just how much more there was to the Mimics. Yugo was showing them that he wasn't simply a Trion Soldier. He was becoming alive at the end and could do what he wanted.

Kido hadn't seen Yugo in person once this week, but he figured he was exactly the same as Mogami. He had his face and voice, his skill with a Trigger, and his strategic filled mind that allowed him to survive multiple assaults from the agents, but he was using it to hurt his family and his organization.

Kido hadn't expected much from either of them with them being simply Trion Soldiers and how much Yuma himself disliked them and warned them against them. Seeing this video though, of a Trion Soldier sacrificing himself to save someone who was supposed to be his enemy, Kido was beginning to have his doubts about Mimics just being weapons. A weapon wouldn't go that far for anyone or anything. A weapon only cared about completing its mission.

Kido stared at his screen to watch as Yuma returned to his Trion body hit the ground and the figure of Kuga Yugo that had turned to dust after giving up all his life and Trion crumbled to dust over him.

That wasn't a weapon.

That was the friend he said goodbye to so many years ago.

*Mimics*

His stomach full and no threats of attacks approaching left Jin quite content as he made his way up the stairs after lunch. There was a lingering sense of grief from the past couple of days, but the bigger part of him was feeling a sense of relief at the peace that had finally returned to their city. With there no longer being an immediate threat to Border and Yuma wasn't in risk of dying in the next few months, the stress that had been weighing him down was finally easing away.

As he reached the top of the stairs and stepped into the hall, Jin's expression softened in concern as his eyes landed on Yuma's lunch still sitting on the floor by his door, untouched. This type of behavior was very familiar to him. Hiding away, making himself feel even more miserable by forcing himself to be alone, avoiding the comfort he likely desperately wanted.

His knuckles rapped against Yuma's door. "Yuma? Your lunch is still sitting here." He waited for a moment, but didn't hear anything on the other side of the door, not even the slightest bit of shuffling from Yuma. "Are you not hungry?"

Jin highly doubted that. Yuma was always eager to eat something when anything was offered to him which Jin figured came from Yuma's excitement to try food, but also because his body required more nutrients to sustain itself so he was constantly hungry. If he was ignoring this food, it was because his grief was too much for him to want to eat.

That was highly concerning.

"Or are you saving your appetite for Konami's curry tonight?" Jin reached for the doorknob, but to his displeasure but no surprise, the door was locked so his hand dropped back down to his side. "Yuma, please. I understand how much you are hurting right now, but avoiding everyone and not eating isn't going to help. This isn't what Kuga-san wanted for you."

Any relief Jin had over the battle finally being over was slowly being diminished as he stood here. He had agreed to letting Yuma have his alone time because he understood that feeling of grief and needing to be alone to get thoughts organized. It was what he did when Mogami died years ago. He knew Yuma did it in a sense when Yugo died the first time so he stepped back to let Yuma take this moment again.

Yuma jerked his head to side, staring into the darkness of the room. "People who are fine don't sit in the dark, obsessing over something that hurt them. Trust me in that. I'm an expert in that area."

Jin stared down at Yuma, trying to get a read on his expression. "How many nights did you sit in the dark room after Kuga-san died?"

"This isn't about me." Yuma retorted quickly.

Jin stared at Yuma in consideration for a moment before he found himself relenting. "When we came back from Aristera, I hid in my room a lot, barely ate because that meant having to go downstairs and facing everyone. Konami started to bring food up to my room and we would just sit in the dark, not talking as we ate together." Jin smiled at the memory, though it wasn't a happy smile. "It took me months to realize that she had been making that food she brought up for us. She later told me cooking helped her get her mind off of what happened. She needed a distraction and I needed the company, even if I didn't realize it at the time."

Yuma stared at Jin for a moment before he was leaning forward to cross his arms and rest them on the bed, dropping his chin down on top of them as he focused his attention ahead at the wall. "I had Raymond. My dad's friend. Replica did what he could for me, but he couldn't provide the comfort of a warm touch." He admitted. "I couldn't hide away in my room all the time as I had to meet with the military echelons and the nurse and engineers that were helping me figure out what my dad did and how it would affect me, but when I did stay in my room, I didn't let anyone in. I just wanted to sit in the dark and wallow in my own grief and pity. But, well, Raymond seemed to think it was his responsibility to look after me after Dad died. I think part of him felt it was his fault since he was the one who asked Dad and me for help to begin with so he decided to step up for Dad and kept a close eye on me. In those first few days, I was in a bad spot and like you, I didn't want to make the effort to get food. Raymond wasn't having it though and brought me food three times a day. I never asked, but I bet Izukacha made all that food. She and her brother were just as concerned for me as their father was."

It was turning out to be just like that. Yuma needed his alone time, but he also needed someone to make sure he didn't waste away while dealing with his grief.

"You think I don't know that?"

Yuma's voice was so soft that Jin barely heard it. He almost thought he imagined it.

"I know Dad would hate to see how I was behaving right now."

"Yuma," Jin leaned an arm against the door. "Can we talk face to face?"

Silence reigned between them for a moment.

"I want to be alone right now."

Jin's head knocked against the door and rested there. He stared down at the sandwiches and glass of water sitting there courtesy of Reiji earlier.

"Who do you think you are?!"

Jin jerked off his bed in surprise, hand clutching his chest as his heart began to race rapidly at the scare he got from Konami slamming his bedroom door open. Could he not just stare forlornly at the roof without being disturbed?

Konami ignored his annoyed glare. She didn't even take the chance to mock him for not predicting she was going to barge in with his side effect. Instead, she was more focused with slamming the tray she was carrying on the desk, uncaring of the water splashing out of the glasses and making a mess on his desk.

"What are you doing?" Jin asked.

Konami huffed and turned a glare onto him. "You don't get to skip dinner last night and breakfast this morning."

"I'm not hungry." Jin collapsed back onto his bed to go back to his staring at the ceiling.

"What do you think starving yourself will accomplish?" Konami asked in a much softer tone than what she started with when she barged in that Jin had to turn to look at her again. By now, her glare was long gone to be replaced by her own sadness that looked ready to spill over into tears soon if she lost control of her emotions. "Mogami-san wouldn't want you do that."

"You think I don't know that?" Jin asked so softly it was almost like he breathed out the sentence. "The idea of eating makes me sick though. How can I eat something and not think how Mogami-san won't get to enjoy his favorite meal ever again? How can I go out there and smile knowing that he won't ever get to laugh at Kido-san's completely done expression when dealing with Shinoda-san? How can I go make another mistake and that I won't have Mogami-san there to save me just so he can lecture me right afterwards? He's gone." Jin twisted his head back towards the roof and scrunched his blurry eyes shut, feeling the tears prick at the corner of his eyes as they tried to escape. "And he shouldn't be. I should have seen it happening and prevented it. What good is seeing the future if I can't even save the people I care about?" First his mother, and now his mentor. Why did he even have this side effect to begin with? He wasn't putting it to good use if people just kept dying around him.

A sudden weight on top of him and arms digging under him to hug him had Jin's opening his eyes in surprise. He couldn't see her face as Konami had it buried in his neck but he could feel the hot tears that she had been holding back hitting his neck and perhaps that was the final straw for him as his own tears began to cascade down his cheeks.

"You're not alone in those feelings." Konami's hot breath hit his neck as she spoke. "We may not have your side effect, but we'll all thinking of what we could have done differently to save our friends. But thinking like that isn't going to bring them back just like starving yourself won't revive them. They'll gone, Jin. We'll never get Mogami-san's smile again. Shin-san will never give us stories of his brother again. Chihiro-san will never scold Wakisaka-san for sleeping in the middle of the living room again. Namekata-san will never grace us with her amazing baked goods again."

Jin's hand came up to the small of Konami's back and curled tightly in her jacket.

"We can't change what happened to them." Konami breathed in sharply to try to calm her breathing that was starting to pick up as she got upset. "All we can do is continue living. Not just for us, but for them. They can't experience the wonderful things life has to offer so we have to do it in their stead." She pushed herself up with her hands to be leaning over Jin, revealing her puffy face from tears which was a look Jin had never seen from her before. She wasn't one to let others see her weakness. "I know you can do it, Jin. Your smile is so much like his. Don't let this take away your smile."

"Konami."

"And in return, I'll smile too." Konami forced a wobbly smile in place. "For Shin-san and all the others who couldn't come home. It's hard to stand back up after a tragedy, but together, I know we can do it because we're so much stronger when we're all together. Don't lock yourself away, Jin. Just let us in."

Jin pushed off of Yuma's door. He took a step back and before he could think too much on it or change his mind, he brought up his foot and slammed it into the door by the doorknob. As the door broke open, quite loudly so he hoped everyone downstairs ignored it, Jin stared into the room at Yuma, who stared back at him, blinking in a very perplexed manner.

"Tokieda-senpai was right. Tamakoma agents are very destructive."

Jin raised a brow. He wasn't sure if Yuma was serious about that comment or he was trying to deflect Jin from the reason why he chose to barge into his room.

"Who is going to have to pay to get that fixed?" Yuma eyed his broken door. His lips twitched as if he wanted to smile, like there was a joke that only he knew, but he forced it down.

That was not going to do. Jin didn't want Yuma to smile if he didn't want to, but he also didn't want to see Yuma forcing his smiles back like he didn't deserve to smile after what happened yesterday.

"I can probably afford to fix it, but I'm not the one who broke it." Yuma added.

Jin ignored Yuma's comments as he bent over to pick up the tray of food to take it into Yuma's room and put it on his desk. "Don't concern yourself with the door, Yuma. It's not important."

"Feels pretty important." Yuma replied. "Osamu always tells me to not be so violent and then you go and kick in a door. I feel like I'm getting mixed messages."

Jin rolled his eyes, smiling fondly. After hearing about Yuma's first day in Japan, he understood why Osamu gave Yuma those lectures. "Preferably, you shouldn't hurt anyone or destroy anything."

Yuma sent a pointed look towards his door.

Jin refused to follow Yuma's eyes to the door as he chose to keep his eyes locked on Yuma sitting on his bed with a stuffed animal on his lap. He wasn't even aware that Yuma owned a stuffed animal. "However, there are times when it's necessary."

"This was not one of those times."

"I disagree." Jin took a few steps closer to Yuma's bed. "Because I was worried about you."

Yuma pulled his eyes off the doorway to meet Jin's stare head on. "That's nice, but I'm fine."

Jin's smile turned upside down. "Then why are your pupils turning black?" The affronted look Jin got in reply to his question would have been funny in any other conversation. Yuma knew his side effect activated when he lied so he didn't know what Yuma expected when he lied straight to his face. "And why are you hiding in your room if you really want to convince me you're fine?"

"I don't need to convince you of anything, Jin-san. I just want to be alone." Yuma replied.

"To purposefully make yourself miserable as a punishment?" Jin retorted.

"What do I have to punish myself for?" Yuma retorted.

"That should be my question." Jin replied. He threw himself down on the bed next to Yuma, pressing his back against the wall so they were shoulder to shoulder. "You did nothing wrong. Maybe it was reckless as all can be and something you should never do again, but you did what you thought was right and decided it was the only path left for you to take."

Yuma didn't reply or even look at Jin. He just kept staring at the space that Jin had previously been standing in.

That was alright with Jin. He didn't need Yuma looking at him. He just wanted him to hear him. "I'm betting you already know that though. So, the thing you're struggling with is why do you still feel so guilty over everything? Kuga-san never wanted revived this way. All he wanted was to die and you gave him that reprieve and yet, you still feel guilty and so full of regret."

Yuma's hand curled around his cougar, digging into the soft fur, but it wasn't quite enough to ground him like he wanted. "Do you feel the same way?"

"Maybe not as bad as you do, but yeah, I feel it." Jin dropped a hand down to Yuma's head. "I didn't force Mogami-san into making such a drastic choice. The choice to rebel and move his sword to let mine through was all his own."

"I know Dad would want me downstairs, laughing and having fun with everyone, but the idea of letting myself be happy feels so painful. It feels like I'm turning my back on him by letting myself move on." Yuma knocked his head back against the wall, dislodging Jin's hand from his hair. "I shouldn't feel like this. I got over this years ago. It wasn't really Dad and Mom I saw yesterday."

Jin stared at his friend sadly. "There is no getting over this, Yuma. Grief is grief. It doesn't just go away with time. It will always be a part of you. Grief is just a hole that can't be filled. That hole in your heart is never going to go away because your parents won't come back, but with time, the hole will shrink so you won't fall into the hole with every step you take. You might stumble occasionally because you will have bad days, but as long as you remember that you aren't alone and just let us in, we can catch you."

Yuma bit his tongue to keep from retorting that he didn't need anyone to catch him. How many times did he say that when he was a child?

"Hey, rookie." Yugo turned, not surprised to see Yuma's annoyed expression directed at him instead of a fearful one from having two enemies coming at him at once. "What were you looking at?"

Yuma rolled his eyes, pouting. "I can manage without your help, Oyaji."

*Mimics*

"I'm not trying to do everything alone. I just want to prove that I can take care of myself so he doesn't have to worry when he needs to go take care of something else." Yuma muttered.

"Know what would help with that? Not arguing with the help that is given to you. Mature up and learn to gracefully say thank you." Izukacha scolded.

Yuma spent so much time before his dad died trying to convince everyone around him that he was fine on his own. He didn't need protected or anyone to get in the way of his fights. If he got in trouble that was on him and he would deal with it.

That was how Yuma thought as a child. He just wanted to show that he was strong and could handle himself so his dad wouldn't worry. He wanted Yugo to trust him, trust that Yuma could handle himself in a fight so Yugo would just stay focused on his own battles.

How things have changed since Yugo died five years ago.

Yuma didn't argue when he was offered help in a fight. He accepted it gracefully.

Yuma learned to be strong, but he also learned what it meant to be concerned for his allies while he was fighting. He found himself to be in the same position Yugo was when Yuma was a kid. When Yuma was busy fighting someone, he couldn't quite turn off his concern for Chika and Osamu whether that be out in the field or during the B-Rank wars. Replica was right during his battle against Viza. He needed to focus on the enemy in front of him, but that just wasn't always so easy for him to do. Maybe it was a weakness of his, but then again, his dad was always concerned for him and he was a seasoned fighter.

Maybe it wasn't a weakness to worry about allies and want to help and protect them.

"I didn't get to tell my dad what I wanted him to know." Yuma admitted softly.

"And what was that?" Jin asked.

Yuma's fingers dug into the blanket under him, scrunching it up into his fist. "I never fully appreciated the help Dad gave me. I always just got annoyed when he interfered in my fights and told him I didn't need his help." He gave a humorless chuckle. "And in the end, I couldn't do anything but wait for Dad to come save me."

"Yuma..."

Yuma knocked his head against the wall again, closing his eyes to hide from the world. "I wanted to tell him thank you for everything. He deserved all the gratitude for what he has done for me, and I'm not just referring to him giving up his life for me. He has protected me, trained me, taught me how to survive and how to live and I just snubbed all that he did for me until it was too late."

Jin knocked his head against the wall to mirror Yuma's position, though he found himself keeping his eyes opened as he stared ahead at the broken door.

"I know my mentor is in there so I'll say it now." Jin's hand twitched as he thought about going for his sword as he continued to close the distance between him and Mogami, but he resisted. "Thank you for everything, Mogami-san. For this life you have given me."

Jin had never ignored what Mogami had done for him, but he never gave him a proper thank you until he fought him the other night. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate what Mogami and Border did for him. It just...never came up. "Sometimes we don't acknowledge what we have until it's too late and we've lost it. Kids don't tend to realize just how fragile life is or how quickly you can lose someone forever."

"I should have though." Yuma whispered. "I lost my mother so long ago, and yet, I still never fully acknowledged how dangerous my life was because my dad was always there protecting me. He kept me so safe that I didn't understand the danger of what we were doing until it was too late. I guess I just never thought my dad could die." He twisted his head on the wall to stare at Jin. "I always saw his strength and felt he was immovable. I never saw him lose so despite him warning me that there will always be someone out there stronger than you, I didn't think he could lose."

Jin turned to stare back at Yuma, grinning ever so slightly. "We saw just how immovable he was this week, Yuma, but despite the strength he displayed to us, we knew he wasn't invincible. He had a weakness like everyone else."

"Oh yeah?" Yuma mumbled.

Jin raised a brow. "Don't try to act dumb. Neither one of us need to say out loud what his weakness was."

"I'm not." Yuma twisted his head the other way to look away from Jin to instead glance out the window. "Dad loved me, but I wouldn't call me his weakness. He protected me and saved me, but he did so in a way that wouldn't compromise his own safety and give the enemy an edge in battle. It wasn't until he had to give up his life for me that it truly changed. On the other hand..."

Jin raised a brow, but didn't speak up when Yuma fell silent. He wanted to wait for Yuma to find the words he wanted to say without Jin interfering and causing him to clam up. He came in here to get Yuma to speak to him because him sitting in silence and getting lost in his memories would only get him so far in the recovery process. Having his own mentor return this week and being directly involved in his death, he thought he was the best person here that could understand Yuma's emotions on this.

"I was only able to show him how weak I am." Yuma admitted.

Jin raised a brow. That had not been at all what he was expecting Yuma to say.

"All my life, I wanted Dad to acknowledge my strength. I knew he was protective of me. He taught me to fight and how to survive and told me what to do if he ever died. He was preparing me to protect myself but until I was ready to do that, he was always going to be there for me. All I wanted was him to know he didn't need to be worried about me." Yuma snorted. "I failed horribly at that, but then I got a second chance. When I went to fight him yesterday, I thought I could finally show him that I'm strong now. When I defeated him, he could die without any concern because I would be fine, but I couldn't even manage that. I couldn't beat him and had to rely on him to save me again."

Jin could hear it. Yuma was struggling to keep his voice even. This was something he had never heard in Yuma's voice before. His voice never wavered like this, but Jin wasn't surprised that it was happening. In fact, he wanted it to happen. Maybe that was cruel, but Jin didn't see it that way because he was sure this was something Yuma needed.

"Kuga-san did see something." Jin said gently. "He saw how much you have grown."

"How?"

Yuma still refused to turn back to look at Jin, but that was alright with Jin. He just needed Yuma to listen. "Because of how many allies you have backing you. So many of your friends went after him for you. The reckless, do it myself Yuma is now relying on others to help him or fight for him when he couldn't bring himself to do it. Kuga-san was probably thrilled to see you joined Border and have so many loyal friends willing to do anything to help you. It's not the strength you wanted to show to your father, but it is a form of strength, Yuma."

Rely on his own strength or rely on numbers. Yuma never believed he could do everything by himself. He knew he couldn't. He always just wanted Yugo to see him in a fight and not think he had to immediately run to his son's side. Yugo could handle his fight and Yuma could handle his. That's what he wanted Yugo to see in Calvaria. They could separate and focus on different enemies. To younger Yuma, relying on numbers meant having allies that would go focus on other soldiers on the enemy side while he took care of the ones that came after him. They all should handle their own fights. That was how he saw working together as a child just because he constantly wanted to prove himself.

"He would be ecstatic to know that you made friends and made a new life for yourself. There is more to life than just fighting." Jin nudged Yuma's shoulder until he got his young friend to look back at him. "Actions speak louder than words." He tilted his head towards Yuma's ring to get Yuma to look at it as well. "The Mimics were draining the Black Triggers of Trion and lifeforce and it was making them more real. It was reviving them. I like to see that as a way to tell us that a part of them is always with us then. Show your gratitude to Kuga-san by living your life to the fullest."

It was always easy to say that. It wouldn't take the pain away, but Yuma had spent five years learning the art of smiling even when he didn't want to, when his heart truly wasn't in it.

Five years to master the art of fake smiling, so why was it hurting so much to try to force his lips turn upwards?

For a moment, Jin watched as Yuma's lips twitched as he tried to smile, but it just wasn't happening. It just looked so painful as Yuma tried to force that smile into place. Why was he trying to smile? Jin hadn't asked him to smile. He just wanted his friend to understand that his father didn't want him to lock himself away in his room and once again forget how fun life was.

Jin shifted on the bed so he could pull his knees under him as he turned to face Yuma fully. He gently grabbed Yuma's arm to maneuver him into a position that mirrored his. While Yuma looked confused, he didn't resist and let Jin position him. Once they were both sitting on their knees, Jin's hands came up to Yuma's cheeks and pulled both of them.

"Ow." Yuma managed to get out as Jin tugged at his cheeks. "Why?"

Jin didn't concern himself with Yuma's protest of pain as he knew what Yuma truly felt was just a pressure on his body to alert him of the tugging. He didn't actually feel pain like he would if he was in a real body. "Because no one told you to smile, Yuma. I, and everyone else, don't need you to be smiling all the time. I'm not asking you to smile right now. I just don't want you to push us out when we're ready to support you. You can smile when you are ready to."

Yuma grabbed Jin's wrists and ripped his hands off his face. He lowered their hands to their laps but didn't quite release Jin yet as his thumbs had found the pulse in his wrists and found himself just focusing on the pulse thumping against his thumbs. A pulse signified life. A pulse was something that Yuma hadn't had in years as a Trion body didn't have one. Feeling the pulse of someone was a stark reminder to Yuma just how close to death he truly was.

It was something that Yuma could usually ignore. He had been like this for years and had come to accept his fate as dying earlier than everyone else a long time ago. It only started to become hard to accept when he moved to Japan and made all these wonderful friends and began to learn once more how to enjoy living.

He began to realize how much he truly didn't want to die. He never wanted to throw away this life his dad gave him, but he was going to refuse to acknowledge he was dying either.

Until now.

He was scared of losing all these fun moments with his friends. This week with his father forced him to recognize just how little time he had left and it left a new fear inside of him. He wanted to cherish the time he had left with his friends, but he also didn't want to forget his dad and that was what was happening ever since he came to Japan. His life had become so fun and so full of so many things to do that he began to forget what his father did for him. He even forgot his father's death anniversary was yesterday until a week ago.

Jin saw it as him moving on and living his life, but Yuma felt like it was a betrayal.

He just felt so conflicted. His emotions were all over the place and his heart was at war. He felt like he needed his dad here to talk to him and help him make sense of what he should do.

It wasn't an option though.

Even though he now knew he had the Inchoate data in his Black Trigger, Yuma could not bring himself to rip open those wounds again.

Not after yesterday.

He didn't know what to do so all he could do was force his smile back onto his face.

It felt wobbly and not at all like the mastered fake smile he created in Calvaria, but it was there. No one needed to know the war he was at within himself. He just needed to be strong.

Always needing to be strong. From what Yuma had told Jin about his life in Calvaria, he knew that Yuma was heavily relied upon after Yugo died because Calvaria wanted to take advantage of his Black Trigger. Yuma had to be the strong one in the Calvaria so he needed to put on a brave face. Yuma needed to show his strength so the Calvaria military would know better than to try to take advantage of him. For so many reasons, Yuma always needed to display strength. It took a lot for him to be willing to lower his guard and let others see his weakness. This week had been enough to push him over the edge to display his emotions, but now, he was simply trying to push people out to collect himself enough to be able to once again show only his strength to everyone.

Jin twisted his wrists around to free them from Yuma's grip. "Don't, Yuma. This isn't Calvaria. You don't have to be strong all the time for us."

Yuma dropped his hands to his lap.

"I'm weak in the face of him, and that weakness is going to kill me." Yuma admitted.

"Everyone has a weakness." Konami replied. "That's why we form squads, to make up for those weaknesses. Who among us can do everything alone? When your strength isn't enough, they will make up the difference."

Yuma knew what Jin was saying. Not once this week did anyone judge him for faltering against his dad or needing to walk away from the fight temporarily. Instead, they supported his decision and fought in his place while trying to keep Yuma's mental state intact. It wasn't at all like Calvaria where he didn't deem it safe to ever drop his guard because he didn't fully trust the military there, particularly the higher echelon.

Even knowing that his friends had his back no matter what, it didn't make it that easy to just allow himself to forget his fake smile. It had become ingrained in him over the years.

"It's not a weakness to cry." Jin said softly.

Of course it wasn't. Yuma saw his friends cry plenty of times, whether it be out of frustration or from grief or from guilt. He hated seeing them hurt like that.

"It just means you've been strong for too long." Jin put a hand to the back of Yuma's head and before Yuma realized what was happening, he was being pulled forward and his face was hitting Jin's shoulder. "I can see that you're smiling to just stop the tears from falling, but you don't need to prevent yourself from crying. This confusion and pain you're feeling, just let it out, Yuma."

Yuma blinked a few times, just staring at Jin's blue jacket.

Yuma rolled his eyes, pouting. "I can manage without your help, Oyaji."

*Mimics*

Yuma went to yank his sword out at the sudden movement, but he barely pulled it out an inch before a strong hand was covering his and pushing his sword back into the sheath while Yugo's other hand was cupping the back of his head and pulling Yuma forward into a hug. Yuma blinked in surprise when his head hit his dad's stomach while those nimble fingers tangled themselves soothingly in his hair.

"Neither of us are free of blame for what happened that day." Yugo said softly, staring ahead at the closed church doors. "I can't bring myself to be disappointed in you when I have just as much guilt weighing me down."

*Mimics*

"Sometimes, this is exactly what we need to win the day." Yuma decided. His single eye met Yugo's incredulous stare. "I trust you, Oyaji."

*Mimics*

Yuma rubbed his arms. While the physical pain from returning to his real body was becoming just a memory, Yuma still couldn't quite shake off the phantom feeling of having arms around him from both Yugo and Eleni. Why did it feel like their touches were lingering?

A shiver worked its way violently down Yuma's spine. "It hurt."

It was such a vague statement. Yuma could have been referring to anything.

"I've been trapped in a Trion body for years so I haven't had to feel pain in so long. I knew it hurt. There is always a vague memory of how torturous it was for me to have my real body torn to pieces by the assassin, but I had forgotten how it felt over the years. It hurt so much to return to my real body yesterday. I had forgotten what pain felt like so to go back to a body that is ripped to pieces had been hell for me."

Jin continued to stare ahead at the wall, but his hand on the back of Yuma's head tightened its grip just a bit in response to what his friend was saying. Maybe it was a way to try to ground Yuma to reality so he wouldn't get lost in his thoughts or maybe it was for Jin who felt a new wave of concern for his friend. He knew that wouldn't have been easy for Yuma to do. For as stupid and reckless as it was, it could be said that Yuma had a lot of bravery for returning to his real body even while knowing the gruesome state it was in.

"And yet," Yuma's voice wavered here.

Jin was surprised when he felt a hand take a hand of his arm, curling up his jacket in its grip, followed by Yuma pressing his face against his shoulder, allowing Jin to take his weight.

"It was so painful, but that pain has long faded away. What won't leave me is the feeling of my mom's arms around me or my dad holding me. Their touch lingers, but I know it's going to fade and I don't want it to. I'm never going to see them again or receive their hugs or protection again."

Something wet was soaking through Jin's jacket. They were silent, but the tears were there. In the end, it wasn't at all difficult to get Yuma to cry. He likely wanted to for a long time, probably since his dad died five years ago, but just decided that he wasn't allowed to. Having to be a sign of strength all the time meant he wasn't allowed to wallow in his grief. Yuma just needed someone to tell him it was alright. There was nothing weak about crying. It was a better way to deal with all their painful emotions by giving them a way to be released instead of keeping them locked inside.

"Why does it hurt so much?" Yuma asked. "Nothing about yesterday was real. Mom and Dad died years ago and as much as it hurts, I've already accepted that. So, why? Why does everything feel so twisted and wrong?"

Jin didn't have an answer to that. At least no answer that would help Yuma. Life was simply quite cruel and it wasn't fair which was something Yuma was very well aware of. However, for as aware as Yuma was about how unfair life was, since he spent so much time training and fighting wars, he didn't have the proper emotional development to understand his own emotions or how to recover from this without locking himself in a room until he had properly managed to bury his feelings.

"This is exactly why I hate Mimics and Inchoates and Aionia." Yuma said bitterly. "I know they were my mom's life work, but I hate them. Is that wrong? She poured her heart into them. I have Inchoate in my Black Trigger. They are her legacy, but I despise them."

"Just because she created them, that doesn't mean you have to like them, Yuma." Jin replied. "It's because of them that you almost died this week. I don't think your mother would begrudge you for feeling differently than her. You're entitled to feel what you feel."

Yuma closed his eyes, finding it hard to ignore the wet feeling soaking into his eyelashes. He couldn't remember the last time he truly cried. He didn't cry when he lost Replica to Aftokrator. He didn't cry when his dad died. He always knew he had the ability to cry. He simply didn't because he had so many people relying on him that he didn't have time to break. Nor did he feel that he had the right to cry when he always felt like he was at fault for Yugo's death.

Ever since Yugo died for him the second time yesterday, Yuma had been doing his best to push his overflowing emotions back down. He had become so used to not allowing himself to cry because he didn't deserve to feel as depressed and hurt at his father's death as he did since it only happened because Yuma didn't know how to listen to orders.

However...

"Remember to have lots of fun and enjoy every day to the fullest."

Yugo's final words to him spoke volumes to Yuma. It was those final words that told Yuma there was no hate in Yugo for Yuma for making him go down the same path as he did five years ago. He just wanted his son to live. Nothing in Yugo's sacrifice signified that he wanted Yuma to mourn and live in his guilt forever, and maybe it was because Yugo held no blame for his son that it made Yuma feel that much worse.

He was the only one here trying to blame himself when his parents didn't hate him for anything that happened.

Yuma felt Jin shift as he pulled his arm free from Yuma's grip. Without meaning to, Yuma felt his hand go to follow Jin's arm before he realized what he was doing and pulled back, closing his hand into a fist to control himself. He wasn't some child that needed comfort.

Jin noticed Yuma's abrupt chase to his arm and grinned faintly. He ruffled up Yuma's hair in an affectionate reply as he went to pull his phone out. "Got something for you, Yuma." He said as he opened the recording and hit play allowing the voices of the A-Rank number one team to fill the room.

"You're destroying my sanity." Tachikawa said.

"Are we or did Kuga-san do that a long time ago?" Kunichika countered. "You've been off since he ambushed you."

"There's a certain thrill about being caught by surprise." Tachikawa said. "Jin's comment about having the most fun fighting each other rings so true. Chibi and his father are definitely up there for giving me a thrill in battle. It's a shame I never got a proper one-v-one against Kuga-san."

"You didn't get him, but you can fight our Kuga as much as you want." Izumi suggested with a grin clearly heard in his voice.

"I'll have to hunt him down. His dad escaped a rematch with me, but Kuga won't be so lucky. It'll be a lot of fun." Tachikawa said.

A small, genuine smile began to form, even though it was still a bit wobbly from the tears still staining his cheeks. "Have I finally earned my actual name back from Tachikawa-san?"

Jin grinned and gave Yuma a small nudge with his shoulder. "Listen to this part again."

"It's a shame I never got a proper one-v-one against Kuga-san."

"Kuga-san." Yuma repeated in his head. "Kuga-san."

Jin's eyes lit up in amusement and fondness as Yuma pushed off of him and gave his phone an incredulous look.

"Kuga-san? What is that about?" Yuma muttered. All this week, all he heard from Tachikawa when his father got brought up in conversation was complaints. He absolutely refused to show any respect to Yugo because of his frustration over being ambushed by him at the beginning of the week.

Jin waved his phone up and down slowly a bit. "You know, Tachikawa-san never hated Kuga-san."

Yuma snorted. "Could have fooled me." He pushed completely away from Jin and sat more comfortably on the bed. "I know everyone was really frustrated with Dad."

Jin's eyes softened in understanding at Yuma's own frustration pouring out. Just like Jin with Mogami, Yuma had a high level of respect for his father and hated how the side everyone was seeing of his father was him as an enemy. It felt too much like destroying the people they knew Mogami and Yugo to truly be. "I think what most of them hated was that he was supposed to be your father and just his mere presence was crushing you. Everyone sees you as a strong, confident agent, but also a kind person and friend."

Yuma snorted. They saw what he wanted them to see because he couldn't bear for anyone to see the trauma hiding under his smile, but this whole week had forced him to unmask and show his true feelings.

"Your father, eh, a Mimic of your father, was taking that away."

"That was a me problem though."

"It's called having empathy for what someone else is going through." Jin corrected. "Maybe you collapsing under the stress of your relationship with Kuga-san was a personal matter, but you being our friend makes it personal to us as well because we hate to see our friend hurting." He turned to mirror Yuma's position and rest his back against the wall once more. Yuma twisted a bit to keep his eyes on Jin. Jin stared back at his emotionally stunted friend, eyes tracing the wet tear stains on his red, puffy cheeks. "It's easy to be understanding of someone else's pain and be by their side to help them and be their strength until they get back on their feet, but it's harder to accept that help when you're the one struggling, isn't it?"

Yuma glanced away quickly. He chose to stare out the window that was next to his bed instead. "You don't know what to say to me to make me feel better." The back of his hand rubbed against his cheek in annoyance at the tears there.

"There is nothing I can say to make it better, Yuma." Jin admitted. "All I can do is be by your side because I refuse to let you push us away. We can't make it better, but we can stay by your side and help you smile again if you let us."

"I don't really want to be alone." Yuma admitted softly, so softly that Jin had to strain to hear what he said. He scrunched his eyes shut as he felt the tears start to well up again. "I just thought..."

Jin watched silently as Yuma scrubbed his hoodie sleeve at his eyes as he attempted to get the tears that were clinging to his eyelashes to go away.

"I just thought I don't have the right to be happy after everything that happened. Everything that happened these past few days was because I disobeyed his orders five years ago." Yuma admitted. "It hurt me to get attacked by Dad, but it put Dad through hell as well. I hated him at the beginning of the week because I saw him as a fake trying to trick me, but when I saw how real he truly was, how he really was my dad being forced to attack me, it was so painful because I was the one who put him in this position. I caused him to suffer."

Jin dropped a hand to Yuma's head and dragged his head towards his shoulder. "You didn't do anything. The ones at fault here was Meraki. I don't know why Meraki attacked us like this, but I do know, they were the ones to set this in motion when they killed your mother and stole her design. You don't have to feel at fault for anything. And I want you to remember," He grabbed Yuma's hand and held it between them so Yuma could see his ring. "The love that Kuga-san had for you. He may be gone, but he will always be with you."

Yuma stared at the unassuming ring sitting on his finger.

"So, why would Yugo hate you? He would be happy to know that he succeeded in saving his son."

Yuma pulled his hand up to his chest, curling it into a tight fist over his heart as he looked down at his ring.

Mogami followed the action to look at the Black Trigger on Yuma's finger. "Perhaps the existence of it confirms his death, but I see it as more than that."

Red eyes flickered up, a curious question in them.

"It's a symbol of his love."

Yuma closed his hand into a fist and brought it up to his forehead. Jin truly was Mogami's student. They wanted him to understand the love Yugo had for his son that made him do what he did so there was no reason for Yuma to feel guilty. It was Yugo's choice to save Yuma so Yuma had no reason to blame himself for someone else's choice.

"I'm sorry you can't carry around Oji-san's Black Trigger anymore." Yuma said.

Jin raised a brow. "What is that all of a sudden? You don't have to apologize for anything, Yuma. I freely made that choice."

"Just condolences." Yuma said. He kept his Black Trigger on him all the time because it was keeping him alive, but even if that wasn't the case, he wouldn't want to give up his ring for anything. It would be so hard to part with the last thing he had of his father. Jin had some amazing strength to make the choice to surrender Fujin to Headquarters to protect Yuma. The Yuma that arrived in Japan back in December would have never done that for anyone.

Jin ruffled his friend's hair affectionately. He really had grown a lot from the kid he and Osamu originally met in December.

"Who broke the door?"

Yuma and Jin whipped around to face the door at the same time to see Reiji staring incredulously at the door hanging on to the frame by a single hinge.

"Eh," Jin said, looking quite sheepish.

Yuma quickly scrubbed the back of his sleeve against his eyes to get them dry before Reiji could shift his attention to them and see the marks.

Despite Yuma trying to hide it, Reiji still saw the action out of the corner of his eyes, but chose to respectfully turn a blind eye to what Yuma was trying to hide by staring at the door for a few seconds longer. Once he saw Yuma lower his arm, he turned an unimpressed stare onto the two.

"Why would you break a door?" He asked though seeing Jin on Yuma's bed and the tearstains coating Yuma's cheeks, he had a pretty good idea of what happened. He just thought there was surely a better way than breaking their base that just got fixed. "How do you expect to explain this to Rindo-san? The base was in pristine condition, and it didn't even take you a day to break something."

"It was for a good cause." Jin replied. "Boss will understand that."

Reiji raised a brow. He shifted his attention to Yuma who returned the look but added a weak smile into the mix. It was weak, but it at least more genuine than the one he gave them yesterday. "You alright?"

"No," Yuma answered honestly. He glanced at Jin real quick then back at Reiji. "But I think I will be. I heard there will be curry tonight?"

Reiji smiled at the light that entered Yuma's eyes. "Konami's curry made specially for you."

Yuma's smile grew just a bit bigger at that.

"Try not to break anything else." Reiji said. He glanced towards the desk where the food was sitting. He had originally come up here to grab the tray if it had been empty. He hadn't been expecting Yuma to ignore the food entirely. "And eat your lunch."

Yuma glanced at his desk. The sight of the sandwiches suddenly made his stomach grumble and he blushed a bit when Jin and Reiji glanced at him. "I guess I worked up an appetite."

Jin rested his elbow on his knee so he could rest his chin on his upturned palm. "Then eat, Yuma. It will help you feel better."

Yuma seemed to agree with that idea as he jumped off his bed to go sit at his desk and pulled the tray towards him.

Reiji motioned towards the door. "I'm not telling Rindo-san about this." He said as he walked out of the room. "You break it, you take responsibility!"

Jin laughed as Reiji moved down the hall. "At least Reiji-san waited until after we talked to scold us about the door." He was certain the others downstairs heard him break something, but chose to not come upstairs immediately to check it out. They probably realized if there was a problem, Yuma or Jin would have shouted for them.

"There is no 'us' in this." Yuma said dryly as he took a bite out of his sandwich. "I'm not the one who broke the door."

"Seriously? Going to throw me to the wolves?" Jin betrayed.

Yuma took a bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly as he stared at Jin with a deadpan stare. "I don't know what that means, but by context, I believe the correct answer is yes."

Jin stared at his friend in disbelief for a moment before he laughed. "Fair enough. Oh, by the way, you reminded me earlier of a question I have."

"Shoot."

"Why do you call Mogami-san Oji-san?" Jin asked. His question was immediately answered with a long-suffering sigh from Yuma which was not at all what Jin was expecting from his question.

"Cause your mentor is a bit insane." Yuma grumbled.

That did not help to ease Jin's confusion at all. In fact, he just got more questions. What actually happened between Yuma and Mogami the other night?

Considering how Yuma now seemed more focused on his sandwich now, Jin didn't think he was going to get an answer.

Perhaps it would be one of those mysteries he never got an answer too.

*Mimics*

There was a sound of dishes clattering and voices mingling as people talked over each other just right behind the door. All he had to do was open the door and walk into the room to join them.

Yuma paused for a moment, bringing his hand up to stare at his ring sitting on his finger.

"Remember to have lots of fun and enjoy every day to the fullest."

The last words he heard from Yugo in those final moments before he turned to dust and Yuma was able to open his eyes. He knew Yugo wanted him to be happy. Yugo wanted Yuma to let go of any guilt he could possibly be feeling and just have fun. It wasn't something Yuma was against as he had learned in these past few months just how much fun he could have which was something he lost when Yugo died five years ago and he entered a three year long war.

This fun life wasn't something he wanted to lose. He just didn't want to risk forgetting about his dad and his sacrifice by having so much fun. He already forgot that Yugo's death anniversary was yesterday until it was a week away. He was scared if he could forget that, then he could forget more about his father like he did with his mother since she died when he was so young.

All air left Yuma's lungs as pain covered every inch of his body. He wanted to scream out in agony, but with no air in his lungs, all Yuma could do was gasp painfully as he tried to take air in. It was a shame that he was falling through the air so all the air was rushing around him, leaving him unable to catch his breath.

It felt so long to Yuma simply because of how much pain was traversing for him, but the truth was, it took barely any time at all for him to land in his father's arms. His father's strong arms engulfed his small form, practically hugging him to his chest.

It felt so warm.

Those red eyes of his father stared down at him in such concern and fear. No hatred or anger. Just loving concern.

Yuma's hand dropped onto the doorknob.

For Oyaji.

He wouldn't let himself falter and fall into a pit of despair that he couldn't get himself out of.

"Yuma-kun!" Chika greeted enthusiastically as she turned at the sound of the door opening.

"You're late!" Konami's shout overrode Chika's excitement. "Dinner started five minutes ago."

Yuma took in the sight of his friends all sitting around the dinner table with plates of curry in front of them and found himself smiling a bit.

Konami nodded her head towards the counter where another plate of food was sitting. "I was going to bring it up to you after we ate if you didn't come down."

"Thank you!" Yuma snatched up his food and made his way to the table, settling down in the open seat by Chika. He eagerly started to dig into his food, ignoring the stares from his friends for the moment as he let the delicious flavor of his food hit his tongue.

Osamu stared at his friend sitting across from him. It was a relief to see that blissful expression on his face that he got whenever he ate delicious food. When he first met Yuma, he thought it was weird how excited Yuma got about food and how he got so happy when it tasted delicious, but when he learned it was simply because the food in this world was a whole new experience for him, he had come to accept it as just a normal part of Yuma. He was glad it was back on his face after the stressful week they just had.

"What's up?" Yuma looked up from his food to meet Osamu's stare. "Do I already have something on my face?"

Osamu shook his head. "Just happy to see you have your appetite back."

Yuma shoved another bite of his curry into his mouth. "How could I not?" He asked after he swallowed. "I heard Konami-senpai was making curry. I couldn't just avoid this."

"Damn straight you couldn't." Konami said proudly.

Hyuse hmphed to himself as he ate his food. "It's nothing special."

Konami's brow twitched in annoyance. Hyuse was lucky that Reiji was sitting between them and she didn't want to get up since she was enjoying dinner. "Says the person who can't even cook."

Hyuse huffed. What reason could he have to know how to cook? It's not like he was fully trusted by these people despite him agreeing to help them so they weren't going to want him to handle their food. It made sense to him. He didn't fully trust them either.

"We give him our food and this is what we get in return." Konami grumbled.

"Hyuse hasn't changed in all the time we've known him. I'm surprised you're not used to this." Karasuma replied without looking up from his dinner.

Konami scoffed. "He could learn a bit more respect."

Yuma snickered softly. The argument felt so normal. A dinner with his friends and Hyuse getting on Konami's nerve somehow. This was a part of the normal routine in Tamakoma. It was nice to sit here and not being subjected to worried stares from his friends.

Was he fine?

Not really, but he knew he could recover. As long as he wasn't stared at by his friends with concern about his father's death affecting his mental state, he could heal. Not being reminded constantly of what happened with his father by concerned stares and worried questions meant he could move on and not think about it twenty-four seven. The real fear would come from when he was alone again at night while everyone was sleeping. He would have no escape then which was why Jin was right when he said to not push his friends away. He would be forced to be alone for at least eight hours every night. The other sixteen hours should be spent around people who could distract him from his dark thoughts.

Chika's hand dropped to the table and grabbed Yuma's free hand that was sitting there to give a slight squeeze. It got his attention and he glanced at her to see her smiling softly back at him.

"Chika?"

"I'm glad you're still with us." Chika said quietly. She was certain Yuma already knew this. She had made it quite clear to him when she hugged him immediately after the Trion Soldiers were killed yesterday, but she wanted to make sure he always knew. Just as Osamu and Yuma wanted her to learn her life wasn't disposable by making her bail out if they got killed in the rank wars, she wanted Yuma to know he wasn't disposable either. She never wanted to see Yuma destroy his Trion body like that again.

It had been so terrifying to see her friend covered in blood, unable to do anything except rely on Yugo to save him. She prevented herself from interfering because that was the order Jin and Yuma had given them all, but it hadn't been easy to do. There had been a deep-seated fear mixed with a quiet rage towards the Mimics, particularly Yugo, for pushing her friend as far as they did. She had been so terrified that she was going to have to lose another person dear to her.

A part of her hated Yugo for forcing her friend to go through everything that he did, but then there was that part of her that hugely respected what Yugo did. He showed them all the true love of Kuga Yugo. He was a Trion Soldier, but he became so real at the end. Seeing Yugo do for Yuma what he originally did five years ago allowed her to gain some respect for the man, but most of her respect went for the real version of Yugo that died five years ago. The Mimic of Yugo may have saved Yuma yesterday, but he only needed saving because Mimic Yugo was hurting him in the first place.

Yuma gently dislodged Chika's hand so he could turn his hand over to grab hers and squeeze back. "Me too." He said, smiling. "I want to spend more time with everyone."

Chika's eyes softened a bit in sadness. Hearing that statement from Yuma made her think that he wanted to have as much fun with everyone as possible before his time ran out.

Yuma suddenly pulled away from Chika, smile turning into a frown so fast it was like a switch had been flipped in him.

Chika looked at Yuma in concern at his sudden aloofness. Yuma gave a strained smile in response, but didn't say anything on the matter and just went back to eating his curry. She glanced towards Osamu, who watched the exchange and was now frowning. He caught Chika's eye and subtly shook his head as a sign for her to drop the matter for now. Trusting Osamu since he knew about Yuma's situation longer than her since he's been in the know since December, Chika would drop the sudden concern she got. It seemed that Yuma and Osamu realized something that she didn't.

She would leave this in Osamu's hands for now, but she would be sure to get answers later. She understood why Osamu kept Yuma's condition a secret before this all happened as it was Yuma's private business, but now that she was in the know, she wanted to be kept in the loop just a bit so she could know how to help in any way she could.

*Mimics*

"She didn't mean anything by it."

Yuma tilted his head to show he acknowledged Osamu's presence, but he didn't take his eyes off the stars above him. It had felt like such a long time since he could safely sit on a roof and just watch the stars. This past week felt like it took such a long time to end with how stressed he was the whole time.

Osamu joined Yuma at the ledge, but didn't sit down this time.

"Do you remember what I said the other day?"

"Pretty vague, Kuga." Osamu replied. "You've said a lot."

"That I got lucky with you and Jin-san. You don't stare at me with pity." Yuma glanced at Osamu. "I can't tell anyone how to feel, but I saw the pity and concern in Chika's eyes at dinner. I can't-I won't-deal with that. It's just a harsh reminder of what I lost and what I am still dealing with."

"She's just worried."

Yuma shook his head. "I'm not trying to invalidate her feelings, but when I saw her looking at me like that, I had this thought, everyone knows that I'm dying now. They saw my real body and how bad it is. If it was just Chika looking at me like that, it would be one thing, but it's not. Everyone saw it. Are they all going to show me the same pity? That's the thought I had when I saw her eyes. I don't want people to see me and just think of death."

"Kuga."

"Can you look at me and not see my real body bleeding out in the street?" Yuma asked.

Osamu bit his bottom lip, not replying. He could say he wouldn't, but with Yuma's side effect he would see through the lie so fast. That was a lie that Yuma didn't need to hear right now. "Have I looked at you with pity since yesterday?"

"No," Yuma admitted. "But, you also already knew and have for a few months. For everyone else, this is new information and then they saw that."

"Is that why you chose isolation yesterday and then ran out of HQ as fast as possible this morning before you could meet anyone?" Osamu asked.

"It wasn't the main reason, but it was part of it." Yuma replied. "I don't want to be treated any differently. I have been like this since I was eleven. Everyone knowing now doesn't change anything."

Osamu tilted his head in consideration. "Well..."

Yuma sent a deadpanned look towards his captain.

Osamu raised his hands in surrender, asking for peace. Once Yuma's stare lessened in intensity, Osamu lowered his hands. "To be honest, I accepted a long time ago that I couldn't do anything to change your situation a long time ago. I'm sure the others have realized that as well, but it won't change the fact that they would want to help you." He looked up towards the sky with a sardonic smile. "Maybe your friends who are going on the away mission will try to look into finding an answer in the Neighborhood." He glanced at Yuma. "We have our goal for Aftokrator, but now we have something else to look into and I'm sure the other agents will agree."

"I traveled the Neighborhood for a year before coming here. You think I didn't look?" Yuma asked.

"No," Osamu replied. Yuma turned to him in surprise and Osamu met his stare head on. "I spoke to Replica, Kuga. I know you didn't care about finding a way to get your real body back. You only wanted to find a way to revive your father from the Black Trigger."

Yuma broke eye contact first, but Osamu refused to look away from his friend.

"However, I don't think that is how you feel anymore." Osamu added, getting a slight tilt of head from Yuma in reply. "You want to find a way to save your life now, don't you?"

"I don't want to die."

"I'm hearing a 'but' in there."

Yuma looked down at his ring, staring at the pristine condition it was in after Yugo repaired it yesterday. "I accepted it as inevitable a long time ago. I don't see a way to prevent my death and I don't want to get my hope up on a very slim chance I can be saved since it would just make it that much harder when I do die."

That wasn't quite something that Osamu could understand. For as much as he knew that Yuma's life hadn't been fair to him, he still had never been in Yuma's shoes so he couldn't fully understand his friend's pain. For as much as he wanted to help his friend, he just didn't have the ability to do that, but despite that, he wasn't ready to give up on the notion of hope.

"What do you plan to do then?" Osamu asked.

"The plan hasn't changed." Yuma replied. "We're going on the away mission and I'm going to get Replica back from Aftokrator." He glanced at Osamu. "And find Chika's friend and brother."

Osamu raised a brow. To him, that simply sounded like Yuma planned to go back to ignoring his condition because he simply didn't want to attempt to get his hope up after five years of just waiting for his impending death. Perhaps after five years of being like this, that was just what was easiest for him.

This time, Osamu was the one to look away. The path that Tamakoma-2 had set themselves down was anything but easy. They chose a difficult path of trying to get to A-Rank as fast as possible while having two-thirds of the team not having the experience or training to be in B-Rank when they first started the rank wars. This was a team that didn't choose the easy path as their eyes were all locked on the main goal they were pursuing.

There was nothing Osamu could do to help Yuma, but he wouldn't be opposed to looking into it while on the away mission. Perhaps the idea of hope that he didn't have to die and could spend more time with everyone scared Yuma because he didn't see a way of saving him even existing, but Osamu wouldn't let his hope die. It would only die when Yuma did so until then, he was going to believe that a solution did exist.

They just needed to find it.

"Training for the away mission starts in a few days." Osamu said instead of what he was feeling about Yuma's situation. "Rindo-san said you could have a few extra days to recover so you can make up the first few days of training."

Right, the training that was to take place before they could go on the away mission. Training that would mean he would have to be around the other agents going on the mission. Training that would require others to stare at him and just be reminded of his torn to pieces body.

Yuma held in a grimace at the thought. This was why he preferred people didn't know about the state of his body. He didn't want to deal with the looks or comments. When he originally told Jin about his past, it was with the intention of leaving the next day and never having to deal with the fact that someone knew of his dying state. He was lucky after he decided to stay that Rindo, Jin, and Osamu never treated him any differently.

It was obvious that he couldn't avoid facing his friends forever, but was there anything wrong with putting it off for a few days longer?