Chapter II - Three Million Years later

Lister was huddled on of the sofa in the crew quarters, as a blanket coated him, as he looked longingly out of the window. The echo's of the past swung around his head as a beer can fell out from under the blanket to the sound of hitting more cans on the floor.

The doors where flung open as Kryten walked in kicking up his legs as he flailed around tinsel wile wearing some around his neck like a scarf. He hummed a Christmas song as he went, Lister rolled over and the sound of beer cans falling out from under the blanket sounded as he moved around.

"Ah, merry Christmas Mr Lister sir."

"Urg, what are you talking about Kryts, it's November."

"Well it's a long standing Earth Tradition that Christmas is often celebrated in November, in some cases even earlier."

"Oh it doesn't matter, I don't want to celebrate Christmas any ways."

"Why not." Exclaimed Kryten "It's the best, if not the most joyous cerebrations in the world. A time to get together and spend time with your family and loved ones." Kryten paused, as the realisation came over him, he tired to fumble around an apology but it fell flat.

"See this is why I don't celebrate Christmas any more Kryten, it just reminds me of everyone back home, and what happened to them."

"Well sir maybe we can celebrate a diffrent Earth Holiday."

"I'm not feeling it." mumbled Lister.

"Well sir, we can always rework the existing holiday, into something we can all enjoy."

"Yeah." perked up Lister "And what are we going to call this new holiday."

"One Christmas tradition was to take away the Christ part of Christmas and replace it with another world all together"

"And what word would we use. "

"What in Smeg is this?" Complained Rimmer stepping in to quarters.

Lister shot up from his place of the sofa letting the beer cans fall to the floor.

"Kryten, I told you to clean the diesel decks, and what on earth is this." he said tugging on the tinsel.

"But Mr Rimmer, I was getting the ship ready for the holidays, as per space core directive two, four, two, five."

"Two, four, two, five." Rimmer repeated becoming entranced in thought.

"Don't try it Rimmer, your only going to go and get it wrong." warned Lister.

"Would you like me to tell you sir?" asked Kryten.

"No, I know what it is." Rimmer insisted.

The Cat came swaggering in lovely pink number, wile Rimmer was stuck striking pose of deep thought, muttering two, four, two, five.

"Hay what's going on." asked Cat as he stood next to Kryten to avoid Rimmer.

"We're all waiting on Mr Rimmer to fumble a space core directive."

"Two, four, two five." he stopped and looked to others "Look, I haven't got time to deal with this, just make sure you clean the diesel decks. And get ride of this." he snapped pulling the tinsel of Kryten as he threw it the floor. Before he left the room.

"Go on what is it Kryts?" asked Lister.

"Space core directive two, four, two five. All ships must decorate their leisure spaces with appropriate winter holiday celebrations. To help boots the moral of those away from family during the holidays."

"You know what, we might as well all have new holiday around here." perked up Lister.