Sabine leaned on the railing of the old comm tower, a soft sigh escaping her, eyes automatically sweeping the horizon. There wasn't really a reason to be on edge; Lothal's plains had been quiet for at least two weeks now. No more blockade, no more squads of stormtroopers, no more TIEs being produced. Despite this, her heart ached. The people of Lothal were safe for now, until the next attack came, but there was something missing.
A boy named Ezra Bridger.
Everyone could feel the void he had left. Well, all of Lothal's little band of rebels, the Ghost crew in particular. She bit her lip. It would be more accurate to say what was left of the Ghost crew.
Sabine heaved another, bigger sigh, then turned and went into the tower. When Kanan had sacrificed himself, all of them had nearly crumbled from the loss. There were nights where she could hear Hera cry out again, either in the twi'lek's nightmares or her own. Then Ezra had disappeared into hyperspace when they had fought to free Lothal. She didn't have the slightest idea where in the galaxy he could be. All she could hope was that he was still alive.
Why had she done it? Why did she let him go? Against her will, her eyes found the lightsaber hilt resting next to an old stormtrooper helmet. Ezra had given the weapon to Chopper before he left for Thrawn's flagship, and now it was kept in the tower- his former home. Sabine crossed the tiny room with two strides and picked it up.
The metal was cold in her hand, cool and smooth. She stared at it for a moment, then ignited it. The bright green blade hummed softly, as if pleased. Closing her eyes, the Mandalorian remembered the feel of using this lethal thing.
Everything I did was for family!
All of Clan Wren saw what you did today. You could lead Mandalore.
You, of all people, should trust me, for did I not once rule your people?
Energy constantly flows through the crystal. You're not fighting with a simple blade as much as you are directing a current of power.
I'm impressed. You have some skill, but not enough to save you!
I think you're doing well.
When she looked at it again, the lightsaber- no, the whole room- was suddenly blurry. Sabine swiped at her eyes with her free hand and took a shaky deep breath. But the memories wouldn't leave her alone.
"One last time."
The way Ezra had looked at her, pain in his deep blue eyes, asking her to understand. In that fraction of an instant, she had let her best friend go, just when she had realized that he thought he would die. And, in a way, he had. They had no way to contact him or know where he had ended up.
She took another shuddering breath and deactivated the lightsaber. But before she could put it down-
"Sabine?"
Without turning around, she quietly asked, "Did I do the right thing?" The young woman turned then to see Hera standing in the doorway, concern in her expression.
The twi'lek crossed the distance between them and wrapped her in a hug. "If Ezra hadn't done what he had," Hera whispered, "Lothal would've stayed under Imperial occupation. The TIE Defenders would be crushing the rest of the Rebellion."
"I wish we could've all been here to see Lothal free. Both of them would've loved it."
Hera flinched, and Sabine didn't have to be a Jedi to feel the sorrow wash over her. "They both knew what they needed to do. And-" Here she pulled away and looked Sabine in the eyes. "- you know I would give anything to have Kanan and Ezra with us again."
Something in the way she said the words caught Sabine's attention. The Mandalorian looked at Hera thoughtfully, remembering how she had been ill the past few mornings. "Especially Kanan?" she asked, raising an eyebrow meaningfully.
Hera started, then glanced at the floor. "I want them both back," the twi'lek replied, her voice catching.
That was confirmation enough. "But you want Kanan to be there when the baby is born."
She looked up again and nodded, tears in her eyes.
For a moment, Sabine was too shocked to say anything. Yes, she had been the one to say it, but to have Hera reveal that she was going to have a child- Kanan's child… She couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. "If only," she murmured. "If only they were still here."
Hera inhaled deeply. "They're here." She touched a hand to her chest. "They're still in our hearts."
"And they always will be," Sabine agreed. After a moment, she chanced another question. "When do you plan to tell the others?"
"I don't know," sighed Hera. "Sometime soon, I suppose. But I don't want you to tell anyone yet."
Sabine nodded.
The two walked back out to the balcony and stared at the capital city. The buildings glittered in the sunlight, drawing a faint smile from the Mandalorian. "It looks so beautiful from here," she said softly. "What a view."
Hera rested her forearms on the railing. "No wonder Ezra chose to live here."
"He'll come back someday," Sabine promised, glancing at her. "He said it himself."
"I know."
And with that, Hera turned to leave, to go back to where the other rebels were. Sabine took a step after her, then hesitated, looking back into the tower. A sunbeam glinted off the hilt of the lightsaber like a cherished memory. In another instant it was gone, just like times she wished would return.
She exhaled and followed Hera.