Hi,

Wow, I've been waiting for this chapter for a while and was nervous about writing it. But, I could not stop thinking about writing it. This is an interesting chapter full of stressful emotions and situations. Please look at the warnings before reading. Let me know your thoughts.

Always and Forever,

Ari.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, parental arguing, silent treatment, bullying, emotional abuse, implied sexual relationships, unwanted touching, sexual assault, suicide attempt using medication, suicidal ideation, manipulation, panic attack, abandonment, stress, abandonment.

Disclaimer: I only own my OCs and parts of the plot you do not recognize from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 25: Do You Believe Me?

"You may not be her first, last, or only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect—you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not think about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

― Bob Marley

1:23 p.m. Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I tugged on my converse, dropping my jacket as I stumbled on the rug by the front door. I huffed, catching myself on the wall. I rested my head against the cool wall, taking a deep breath. I was already late, and rushing around wasn't going to help. I could hear dad's voice in the back of my mind, "you will get there when you get there." I took another deep breath, picking up my jacket. I pulled it on, tugging my hood over my head, clutching my bag closer to me, and yanking the door open. I grimaced, eyeing the heavy rainfall. "It's too late to cancel. Again..." I added as an afterthought.

I shut the door behind me, sprinting to my car. I tossed the door open, shuffling inside quickly. I tossed my bag to the passenger seat and quickly turned the car on, wishing I had Paul's excessive warmth. I cranked the heater on high, pushing my hood down. I shivered, tugging my seatbelt on quickly. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, reassuring myself that Sue would be there. "You can do this." I pulled away from my sanctuary, feeling sick when I reached the 110. I increased the speed before I could even think about turning around. "There is nothing to worry about."

2:08 p.m. Forks Community Hospital, Forks, Washington

I stared at the building, tapping my fingers on the wheel. I had seven minutes to get into the building. I chewed on my lip, pulling my hood up. I grabbed my bag, holding it close to my chest. "It's just a quick check-up, and I will be in and out. Everything will be okay." I turned off the car, grasping the door handle. I couldn't force myself to push the door open; my stomach flipped, and I faltered, "I can't do this." I closed my eyes and saw the unwanted memories start to flash. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the bile wanting to show its face. I tightened my fists, opening my eyes and staring at the rain, "I can do this... I can do this." I looked into the rearview mirror, "You can do this. It is not your fault. Don't live in fear. Get out of the car and take it one step at a time."

I grasped the handle, pushing open the door, getting out quickly before I could change my mind. I shut the door, locked the car, walking to the entrance. I opened the door feeling a blast of warm air and was greeted merrily by the blonde-haired woman behind the desk. "Hi sweetie, got caught in the rain, huh." I nodded, pulling my hood off. "Are you my 2:15?"

"Laryssa Chiago," I murmured, trying to fight the urge to flee. "I forgot my umbrella," I said, feeling stupid that I even announced it.

She didn't seem to mind as she scrunched her nose, "I did too. Hopefully, it stops before my shift ends." She grinned, typing on her computer. "All checked in, just gotta update some paperwork." She hummed herself, printing out the paperwork and clipping it to the clipboard. She set her bright yellow pom pen on the clipboard, handing it to me. I stared at the pen; a small grin spread across my face. "Cute, right? It's how I remember to get it back." I nodded and took the clipboard, moving to sit in the empty waiting room. I filled it out, gnawing on my lip.

I felt my stomach bubble uncomfortably as I waited to get called back. I finished filling out the paperwork and shakily got up to give it back to the lady. She took it back with a grin, and the door opened, and I felt the blood drain from my body. Nurse Norris stepped into the room, and I felt the panic flare. "Laryssa Chiago as I live and breathe. I can't get over how much you have grown." He smiled, and the unwanted memories came flooding back. I could see him talking, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. His pink scrubs with hearts on them solidified the memories I tried to suppress. He took a step forward, his arm reaching out to me, and I shoved myself back into the front desk.

"Where is Sue," my voice shook, and I could feel his irritation spike.

"She is with another patient right now. Why don't we get you set up in a room so you can wait for Dr. Morrison. I'll get your vitals while we wait," He grinned, pushing up his bulky glasses, making sure to keep his space. "You can tell me how your mom is doing in the big apple."

I didn't dare move. I shook my head, turning to look at the woman. "I would like to wait for Sue."

"Laryssa... sweetie," I glanced at him, "I can do everything Sue does. Maybe not as good, but, y'know," Nurse Norris laughed, holding the door open and the glint in his eyes told me he was not pleased. The pet name he used made me cringe.

"Norris, Sue's almost finished. She can wait for her," The woman said, getting up from her chair. "You can go to lunch early." She smiled at him.

He took a deep breath in, "If you're sure." I looked away from him, glancing at the woman. "Okay. Have a good day, sweetie."

I heard the door shut, and I didn't feel at ease. "Are you okay, Miss Chiago?" I nodded, trying to shove everything back down. "Okay, Sue should be out soon. Would you like some water?" I shook my head, unable to form any words.

I moved to the chair, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket, and I pulled it out, feeling relief at seeing Paul's name. I clicked the green button, holding the phone to my ear. "Jay and Seth are banned from going to the beach." Hearing his voice helped me feel better. "You know what these little shits did? They shoved me into the mud. They caught me off guard. Babe, you made me get pushed into the mud."

"You blame me for the weirdest things," I murmured, feeling fond of him, closing my eyes and focusing on his soothing baritone voice. "I'm not even there, weirdo."

"I was thinking of you and missing you, so I was distracted. You are always on my mind, and I need you to take accountability," Paul laughed, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling. "Did you finish yet?"

"As long as you take accountability for yourself," I said softly, feeling eyes on me. "Not yet... Hopefully soon."

"Sorry, I couldn't come with you," He sounded unhappy about being unable to be with me. "I don't like you being out of my realm of protection." I couldn't bring myself to tell him that it wasn't the cold ones I was scared of but the man in pink heart scrubs.

"I know, another hour, and I will be done. Focus on being able to push them into the mud," I reminded, seeing Sue poke her head out. "I have to go; I'll be back soon."

"Stay safe... I love you."

"I will. I love you too." I clicked off, standing up, smiling in relief, when I saw Sue beckon me to follow her. "Hi," I smiled, tensing, when I saw Nurse Norris coming down the hallway. She ignored him, moving past him towards room four. I followed after her, not daring to meet his eyes. I entered the room, moving to sit on the chair.

Sue closed the door, moving to sit on the rolly chair, smirking at me, "so... we are at the I love you stage. I called it when he wanted to stay and help decorate cookies." I felt my cheeks warm as I set my bag behind me. "Are you being safe?"

"Sue," I complained, having a hard time looking at her.

"Hey... I'm asking for this," She pointed to her paperwork. "Also, as a concerned aunt." She grinned, looking at me expectantly.

"I'm still a virgin, but I would be safe," I said, slightly embarrassed. "He would've decorated cookies to get out of school, regardless if I was there."

"Liar," She poked my thigh, "I saw how he looked at you. The dorky joke was cheesy, and Paul's not the cheesy type, and I could tell he likes... well loves you." She took her pen out of her pocket, "I'm glad you're being safe."

I rolled my eyes, grinning at her. "We can gossip later, promise. I want to get out of here."

"You are no fun," she smacked her lips, looking back at the paperwork. "Do you not want Norris in your chart?" She tilted her head, and I felt like she had a conversation about it already. I nodded, picking at my nail polish. "Alrighty, no problem. Let me get your vitals, and then I'll get Dr. Morrison."

3:02 p.m. Forks Community Hospital, Forks, Washington

I held myself tightly, trying not to rush to the car. I was almost free and thankful the rain had decided to give me a break. I felt a hand roughly grasp my elbow as I reached my car. I jerked my arm, turning to glare at the assailant. "Sweetie, relax. It's like you think someone is out to get you."

I stepped back out of reach from Nurse Norris, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "You need to stay away from me."

He frowned, dropping his hand to his hip. He used his other hand to push his ratty black bulky glasses up. "Sweetie, what is wrong? You seem on edge. Don't you remember, when I worked with your mom, and you would come to visit, I would sneak you the cherry jello?" He tried to smile, and his pearly whites made me cringe. The memory of him cornering me into the lockers was attempting to claw its way out. I could remember the smell of the Fritos, cherry jello, and the coolness of the lockers pressed against my back. "We used to have so much fun in the breakroom, devouring the jellos. Don't you remember, sweetie?"

The word transported me back to my last horrific memory of him.

Flashback: 4:45 p.m. Forks Community Hospital, Forks, Washington

"Just stay here. I'll be done soon," Mom said, brushing her fingers over my hair. "Let me collect my things and say bye to a few people. Norris, look after her, will you?"

"Sure, Gracie. Take your time," I stared at the table, wanting nothing more than to curl back into my warm bed. It was safer than here, warmer, and I didn't have to try beneath the covers. It was painful to be here, and she didn't seem to care.

She smiled at Nurse Norris as if she didn't just lose the man she claimed was her life's love, and pain filtered through my body. I could see the love in her eyes as she looked at Nurse Norris, and I wanted to hate for it, but I couldn't. He would be disappointed if I did. I closed my eyes and heard his voice, "You are better than that, Laryssa." I opened my eyes, shoving him away. The pain intensified because I knew it wasn't real, and he was gone. I was alone with her, and she always had trouble understanding me. He abandoned me, and I could feel the uncomfortable tightness in my throat, and I wished for numbness instead of pain.

Fingers snapped in front of my face, and I blinked, focusing on mom. She sighed, defeated when I looked at her. She took my arm, pulling me towards the chair beside Nurse Norris. The last place I wanted to be was sitting next to the man who slept with my mom. I was too tired to fight against her again. Clammy hands touched my face, moving my face so I was looking up into irritated brown eyes. "Listen to me," She slowly spoke like she thought I couldn't understand the words coming from her mouth. "Don't cause Norris any trouble; sit here. I will be done soon, okay?" I blinked at her, not having the energy to answer. "Laryssa Marie, please."

I let out a deep breath, turning away from her. I was freezing, and the jacket didn't help keep me warm. I stared at her locker with our last name proudly displayed, and I hated how she dishonored it. She scoffed, letting out a deep angry breath. "Gracie, go. She will be safe with me. Promise."

"Thank you, Norris. She'll probably stay like that; she doesn't do much else," Mom sounded relieved, and I could see him touch my mom's shoulder, rubbing her arm. She squeezed his hand, and I saw her look at me quickly before she dropped his hand. She rushed to the door, leaving quickly without a glance back.

The chair beside me scraped against the floor. I heard Nurse Norris heave a breath as he sat down, blocking my view of mom's locker, and I could hear the ruffling of the bag. His ugly pink heart scrubs and belly hanging over his drawstring pants clashed against the dull green locker room. I could see the growth on his chin. The smell of the Fritos corn chips was sickening. "Are you hungry, sweetie?" The pet name made me want to slam his face into the table. I ignored him, focusing on the wilting plant beside the lockers. The place that was supposed to keep people alive couldn't even keep a plant alive. If he had gone somewhere else, maybe he would've survived and still be here, not rotting in the ground. I trusted them to keep him alive, and they killed him; they allowed him to die when they promised he would be fine. The chair scraped again, and I ignored him moving around the break room. I felt better that the adulterer wasn't next to me anymore. He came back sooner than I'd liked, sitting sideways on the chair facing me, and he set a red sugar-free jello cup before me, opened with a pink plastic spoon sticking out. I kept staring at the dying plant, wanting to take it with me, so this place didn't claim another life. "Sweetie, you like jello. I can hear your tummy grumbling." His baby voice bugged me, but I couldn't take my eyes off the plant. I didn't have the energy to talk with him. It wasn't worth it; he wasn't. I stared at the plant, memorizing its wilting yellow leaves. I knew I could save the plant from its doomed fate of dying in a room with no warmth. Dad hated dying plants, and he always talked about the spirits that lived within them. We thanked them for the fresh air they provided and the happiness they brought. I tensed, feeling a hand move my hair from my shoulder. A cold, calloused finger traced my cheek, and my blood ran cold. "Sweetie, you are tense. You seem hungry; eat some cherry jello. Relax," His warm breath was close enough to hit the side of my face. I could see his grin out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't move away, he blocked my exit, and even then, it was like my body was locked in place. The finger traced lower, skimming just past the side of my breast and the side of my stomach. I jerked away when I felt the finger turn into a hand on my hip. I sent sending the chair back, staring at Nurse Norris. He stood up, and his blue eyes seemed irritated. I took steps back, stumbling, catching myself until my back hit something cold and hard. "What's wrong?" He sympathized, moving closer to me, blocking me so I couldn't run. I stared at him, "You look like you need a hug, sweetie." His form wrapped around me, and panic clawed up my throat. I could feel every inch of him, and I wanted to vomit.

"Stop," I whimpered, his hands groping my body hard. "Help me. Dad, help me." Tears clouded my vision, and I shoved at him, trying to put as much space as possible between him and me.

He held onto me tight, his hands continuing their invasion, and I could smell his sweat and the Fritos. "He can't help you, just shut up and enjoy it, sweetie."

I continued to shove at him, and he grunted, taking my arms and shoving me against the locker. Pain blossomed on my back. His blue eyes blazed down at me. I glared at him, noticing that he had to back away from me to hold my arms. I saw the bandage on his arm, and I could faintly recall my mom on the phone with him, asking him if the second burn was painful. His grip loosened, and I took my chance to break one of my arms away from his vice-like grip and dig my nails into his arm, exactly where the bandage was. He yelled and took a few steps away, continuing to hold one of my arms. I turned towards him, kicking my foot up, catching him right between his legs. I didn't bother to watch him fall, "wait!"

I turned on my heel, throwing the door open, I could hear him struggling, and I heard another crash. I sprinted to the exit. I could hear the yells of no running, but I didn't pay them any mind. I froze in the parking lot, trying to figure out my next steps. I saw Billy's truck and ran towards it, climbing in the bed, hiding under the tarp. I pushed my hand against my mouth, trying to stop the hyperventilating. I used my sleeve to wipe my face. I could hear Billy and Jake's voices arguing about what to eat for dinner. I heard the driver's door slam, and I heard the creaking of the tailgate being pulled down. The tarp was pulled back, and Jake looked at me wide-eyed. I put my finger to my lips, hoping he wouldn't snitch this time.

"Let's go, slow poke." Jake was startled from our staring contest. He put the wheelchair at my feet. He took his jacket off, tossing it at me, pulling down the tarp, before closing the tailgate. I took his jacket, wrapping it around me, inhaling his familiar scent. I pleaded for Dad to let them leave before mom noticed. I felt the truck roar to life, and it started to move. I let out a deep breath, feeling the tears in my eyes as I felt another part of me die. I pushed my nose closer to his sleeve, taking comfort as if my cousin was the one hugging me. I tried to shove away the memory of Nurse Norris. I pushed my hand against my mouth, trying to quiet the sobs that wouldn't stop. I wanted to slip back into the numbness. Everything was gone. The one person I wanted to turn to was gone, and I knew mom would never believe me. I felt the bite of the cold air drift under the tarp, and I could feel the rain start to hit the plastic. I prayed for the Creator to strike me down.

unknown p.m. Black House, La Push, Washington

I stared at the blue tarp, feeling the truck come to a stop. I heard the passenger door open and slammed shut. The tailgate squeaked open, and the tarp was only lifted by my feet. I could hear Billy grunting to get into the chair, him getting after Jake for keeping the tailgate open, and Jake reassuring Billy he would come back and close it. I listened to them walking up the ramp and the door opening and shutting. I peeked out from under the tarp, not seeing them. I lifted the tarp, scrambling down, leaving Jake's jacket under the tarp, and sprinting toward home. I ignored the rain starting to fall again. I ran to my window, pushing it up. It wouldn't open up all the way, and I felt panic starting to rise again. "Please." I cried, shoving the window up when it finally gave. I hauled myself up, collapsing on my floor. I lay there, feeling everything drain from my body. I had a plan. I needed to push myself back up and placed my palms down, struggling to get up. My body felt heavy, and I was so tired.

I finally pushed myself up and stumbled into my plant, catching myself on the frame. I ran to my parent's restroom, stumbling on their rug. I caught myself on the sink, refusing to look in the mirror. I dug around their medicine, finding her pill bottles. I shook the first bottle, finding that it was brand new. I opened it, taking the other bottle and emptying it, so they were all together. I shoved the full bottle into my pocket. I set the empty bottle back on the sink, rushing to Jay's room. I opened the door, seeing the mess. I stumbled to his desk, pulling the first piece of paper I could find. I scribbled my goodbye, telling him how much I loved him and how sorry I was. The tears blurred my vision, and I blinked, trying to clear them. I folded the letter, setting it on his pillow. I went back to my room, closed my door, looking at the pictures filled on my wall. I ripped my favorite one off the wall, folding it and putting it in my pocket, next to the pills. I climbed out my window, not bothering to close it.

I tugged my hood up, taking a deep breath, breaking into another run. "Almost over," I whimpered, running to the one place that would bring me peace. I ignored everyone, laughing and carrying on with their lives. I couldn't understand how their lives continued, and mine stopped. How could they continue to laugh and carry on? While I was broken and alone without my dad. I pushed my legs faster, seeing the place I had dreaded coming to for days. I pushed past the cemetery sign, moving to the very back, and the pain increased tenfold when I saw the new shiny stone bearing my dad's name. I sank to my knees in front of it, my breath coming out in short huffs. I pressed my face against the stone, wishing that it was him. I had no words for him. I grabbed the picture and the bottle, moving, so my back was pressed against the stone. I struggled to open the bottle with my shakey hands. I yelled, frustrated that the bottle was giving me grief. I was past the point of no return.

I finally twisted the lid off. I closed my eyes and held the bottle to my lips. I choked on the pills, gagging at the roughness and taste a few times. None of it stopped me, and I tossed the bottle to the side, wanting to spit them all up. I heaved a few times, but I forced them down.

I held the picture up of all four of us. "We were happy," I mused, leaning my head against the stone. The picture of us was taken last month at the Clearwater party. I looked at mom, seeing her gaze lovingly at dad. My mind flashed when she looked at Nurse Norris like she was looking at dad in the picture. I shivered, feeling the ghost of his hands on my body. "I needed you today... you weren't there. He reminded me of that too," I whispered, bringing my knees into my body. "I can feel his hands on my body... I don't know how to get rid of it. He killed the last part of me." I waited for an answer for comfort, but it was quiet. I wished that I could hear his voice. "I'm sorry, I can't do this without you." I looked up at the sky, feeling water hit my face. "I hope you are with me right now," I murmured, closing my eyes and bringing my arms closer to myself. "Forgive me, Creator."

unknown, unknown, unknown, unknown

I could hear the faint beeping, and I struggled to open my eyes. The bright light hurt my eyes, and I could hear voices. "Da-" I struggled with the word, whimpering when I felt the soreness in my throat.

"Don't talk," a voice soothed, and I could feel pressure on my head. I struggled, trying to open my eyes. I could hear loud sniffing, and the voice got closer to my ear. "It's okay..." I finally opened my eyes seeing dark hair. I lifted my hand, trying to brush against the hair. A hand caught mine, and the hair lifted so I could see the face. Jay's tired face came into view, and fresh tears fell down his face. "I'm here."

I tried to squeeze his hand. I wanted to reach over and wipe his face, yet, I couldn't find the strength to do it. I took in the room, seeing the multiple monitors, and mom asleep on the recliner. Flowers and plants littered the room. Jay squeezed my hand, using his other to fiddle with a remote. "lo...long?" Jay looked over at mom, nodding.

The opened, and I stared at the brown-haired nurse, smiling at me gently. "Look who is up." She walked over to mom, gently nudging her shoulder, "Grace, wake up." Mom shot up, her eyes darting to me. I stared at her, waiting for her to do anything. She stood up and shook her head, turning to leave the room. I stared at her, pacing back and forth. The nurse sighed, moving closer to me, setting her hand on my arm, messing with the monitors I was hooked up to. "Maybe you should check on your mom; I will watch your sister."

"No," His hand tightened over mine. "You wanna check on her? Be my guest. I'm not leaving." The beeping started speeding up when I saw a figure approaching mom. I watched him pull her close, and she started to sob on his shoulder. He looked in the room, staring at me.

I couldn't breathe, and I needed out. I yanked my arm away from the nurse, trying to sit up. I didn't pay them any mind as I tried to shove them away. I yanked on the cords attached to my body, ignoring the pain when they pulled free. The nurse called for help, and he and my mom rushed in. He moved toward me, and I screamed. He backed away, holding his hands up, and my mom put her hands on her face, "Marie, enough!"

"Get the fuck out," I yelled, shoving her back. I could see the hurt expression on her face, but I couldn't stop. He was near me, and I couldn't leave. I glared at him, hate flooding my heart. I wanted to smash his face into the ground, "OUT!" He seemed startled, and he moved to stand against the wall. Silently refusing my demand. I pulled the nurse's arm, "get him the fuck out of my room!" More people filed in, and more hands moved to hold me down. The panic increased tenfold, "stop... stop... don't touch me, please. Dad! Help me!" I cried out when I realized that I was alone. My eyes met moms beside him, and she had her hand pressed to her mouth, tears streaming down her face, and she didn't try to help me. I watched as two males stood next to him and escorted him out of the room. Once he was out of my sight, the panic didn't stop; all I could feel were the hands still on my body, grabbing me; the memory was constant. "Creator, help me!"

A warm hand moved to my face, and I followed the arm seeing my brother crying. I closed my eyes, focusing on the warmth of his hand. "Everyone back away." A voice ordered, and the hands slowly started to slip away.

I curled into myself, grabbing my brother's hand on my face. I held onto him tightly, "don't leave me. I'm scared."

"Never, I'll protect you." He promised, clutching my hand back just as tight. His other hand rested in my hair. I looked at him, noticing the brave face he put on. Jay looked behind me before focusing on me again. "This doctor is with us, and he made the hands go. You are bleeding, and he needs to make sure you are okay." I nodded, looking around the room, seeing multiple faces, "look at me. Not them." My eyes connected with his again.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Cullen. Everyone can leave the room, and I will take it from here. Mrs. Chiago, you may stay if you would like." I focused on Jay, listening to the sounds of everyone leaving. "Miss Chiago, I would like to examine your wounds, and I will not touch them unless you permit me to. Would that be alright with you?"

Jay nodded his head, and I followed his encouragement. I slowly moved to sit up and winced, feeling all my energy leave me. I slumped forward, breathing hard. I eyed Dr. Cullen, weirded out by his eyes and young-looking face. Despite being so young, he seemed to have commanded respect in the room. Jay climbed onto the bed beside me, and I noticed mom was nowhere in the room. "I want to leave."

"It's not safe right now. Psych may want to keep you longer due to what brought you in and the panic attack." He informed me honestly, his eyes trailing over my arms. Dr. Cullen moved closer, peering at my left arm. I looked down at it, noticing the blood coming out of it. The longer I stared at it, the more I felt the pain. "May I?" I nodded, feeling his ice block of a hand examining my arm. "We will need to put in another one." I nodded, not having the energy to speak. "Let me help you lay back down; your brother can stay beside you."

I blinked rapidly, seeing how tired my brother looked. "Okay," I murmured, feeling how cold he was as he helped me lay back. "You should get something to warm you," I mumbled, settling into the bed. He laughed, grabbing his stethoscope, silently asking if he could. Jay moved again, laying beside me. I nodded again, silently thanking him for asking permission. "Please do not let him back in my room.

Dr. Cullen placed the stethoscope on my heart. His brows furrowed as he looked down at me. "I can do that. Would you like to tell me why?" I shook my head, feeling my brother curl closer to me.

"I just want to go home." I felt the choking sensation come back. I wanted so many things, but the only thing I knew was possible was going home.

"It's not going to be easy. I will do my part, but you must promise to do yours," Dr. Cullen hung his stethoscope around his neck. "Can you do it?"

I looked down at Jay, feeling him hold on tight to my arm. I reached over to stroke his cheek, ashamed that I had my twelve-year-old brother protecting me. Ashamed that I almost abandoned him too. I failed him, and I didn't want to anymore. "I can."

End of Flashback

3:08 p.m. Forks Community Hospital, Forks, Washington

I wanted to scream at him. I stared at him; I remembered everything vividly, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of giving a reaction. I stood up straighter, trying my best to ignore the memory. "I will not say it again. Leave me alone." He moved toward me, holding out his grubby hand. I stepped back, tightening my fist in my pocket.

"Miss Chiago," I saw Dr. Cullen standing a few steps behind Nurse Norris. "Is everything alright?" He glanced at me, his weird eyes showing concern.

I hesitated; I didn't even hear or see him walking up. "Dr. Cullen, Nurse Norris was just leaving." Dr. Cullen moved, opening his umbrella, holding his umbrella over his head, looking expectantly at Nurse Norris. Nurse Norris glowered at me before plastering a fake smile as he turned to face Dr. Cullen.

"Goodbye, Norris," Dr. Cullen bided, moving past Nurse Norris. "Miss Chiago, you look well." He held the umbrella over us just as it started to rain again.

I smiled, keeping an eye on Nurse Norris as he glared at the clear dismissal, "doing my part helps." Nurse Norris turned around a few times, but he kept walking.

Dr. Cullen laughed, "I am glad; I knew you could do it." He offered, gesturing to my car. "Come, I will walk you to your car."

I followed beside him, looking at the bulk of his briefcase. "I never thanked you for that day. Calling the people off and making sure he stayed away."

"There isn't a need for it." I stared at him, still semi-freaked by his eyes and youthful face. I realized he hadn't changed since the last time I saw him three years ago. He had no smile lines, crinkles along his eyes or greying hair. He looked to be four years older than me. "Would you like to tell me why you seem nervous around Norris?"

"It's in the past; it does not matter now," I offered, knowing the only soul I told about what happened was in New York, still unbelieving. If she couldn't, there was no way others would. "As long as Nurse Norris stays away, I would like to move on."

Dr. Cullen looked disappointed at my answer, and I could tell he possibly suspected why I was nervous, yet I didn't dare feed into it. "I understand, Miss Chiago. If you do not feel comfortable with the staff, you can always request they do not have access to your chart, or you come in when they are not on shift."

"I appreciate it, Dr. Cullen." I stopped beside my car, unlocking it. Even though he said there wasn't a need for my gratitude, I couldn't help it. "Dr. Cullen... Even though you said, it's not needed. My dad taught me never to bite my tongue, a lesson I recently relearned. So, thank you for everything. You met me on one of the hardest days of my life, and you reaching out a helping hand will never be forgotten."

"Your father taught you something valuable. Do not bite your tongue even if you are scared to tell your truth. Whatever happened seems to burden your heart, even if it is in the past; if it's bringing you pain, it will always matter. Do not let it keep pressing on your heart," He leaned over, opening my door. His bulky briefcase knocked into my leg. "My apologies. Dr. Garcia is still here, and she will be retiring in two years."

I grinned, shaking my head. "You are still a pain." I respected how honest he was and how he never missed the chance to use my words against me. He laughed, and I hated how perfect he looked. He looked more like a supermodel instead of a doctor. "One whose opinion I respect. I will think about it."

"I will let her know; you will be reaching out soon," Dr. Cullen grinned, and even his teeth seemed too perfect. "Get home safe, Miss Chiago."

"You too, Dr. Cullen." I got in the car, closing the door. I started the car quickly, putting the heater on high. I watched him walk away, thinking about how often he would stop by my room and sit with me while he did his charts. He wouldn't show any disappointment when I refused therapist after therapist; he would sit there and send a new one. He was a doctor who seemed to go above and beyond for his patients. A loud knock on my passenger window startled me from my thoughts. I rolled it down, "Quil?" He sent me a tired grin, pulling his jacket tighter and leaning into the car. "Get in, crazy! You're gonna get sick!"

Quil yanked open the door, squeezing into my car. I rolled up the window, looking at him. I glanced in the back, seeing an old blanket, and I grabbed it, putting it over him. "I'll take you home."

"Sorry, I saw your car, and I didn't want to walk all the way back," He grunted, setting the blanket on his lap. "Sorry, Laryssa, it's really hot." I reached over, putting my hand on his forehead, noticing his temperature was close to Paul's. I reached over, turning the heater off. I prayed to the Creator that I wasn't wrong about him possibly getting ready to shift and, if he was, for him to not shift in my car. "I may be a little sick. But there is a smell that is giving me a headache. Mind if I just close my eyes?"

"Not at all. I'll get you home." I put the car in reverse, quickly pulling out of the hospital, and I needed to get him home quick.

"Can I ask you something?" Quil piped up when I had gotten back onto the 110. I hummed in agreement, trying to stay calm so I didn't accidentally anger him. "I know you are with the guys more... they don't talk to me anymore. How are they?"

I glanced at him, seeing him staring out the window. "Good. Jake's spending a lot of time with the Swan girl, and Em is Em." I tried to joke, but he huffed. I knew I screwed up by trying to make light of it. "How are you?"

"How do you fucking think," Quil bit, causing me to tense. "Sorry, I shouldn't take it out on you. No one asked me how I am; they just want to know the gossip." I allowed myself to relax a little, "I'm angry, and they just abandoned me." He rubbed his nose roughly. "Can I open the window? The smell is fucking bad."

"Sure," I said, increasing my speed. I couldn't smell anything and didn't put any perfume on. My phone started ringing in my pocket.

"Fuck... drop me off here," Quil yelled, causing me to jump. We were still 10 miles from his home. "Laryssa! Pull over!" I pulled over quickly, putting my hazards on. He tossed open the door, running into the woods. I leaned over, pulling the door shut.

I grabbed my phone, seeing my missed call from Paul. I called him back, making sure no one was behind me. I held the phone to my ear, listening to the click. "Babe, I think Quil is getting ready to turn."

"What?" He asked, and I could hear the boys fighting in the background. "Where are you?"

"Ten miles from Petey's. I was giving him a ride home, and he wasn't feeling well. He was burning up, irritated, and complaining about this weird smell. Then he yells to pull over, and he's out of the car and into the woods."

"Damn it, you okay?" He questioned, and the boys quieted in the back. "What weird smell?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I don't know... I didn't wear any perfume, and I can't smell anything besides the black ice tree thing," I said, watching the mirror to ensure no cars were coming.

"Go to my house. Straight there, no stops," He ordered, and I frowned at the phone. I stayed silent, not daring to say anything. I mentally counted to ten. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with him, but I did not like being ordered around. "Please go to my house," He amended after a few moments.

"Alright, I should be there in a few. I'm going to start driving again. See you in a bit."

"Drive safe."

3:43 p.m. Lahote House, La Push, Washington

I pulled up to the driveway, not seeing his truck. I put the car in park, seeing Jared exit the house. He jumped down the steps, freezing, when he saw me. I opened the door and got out, stretching. I was semi-self-conscious about the smell when I couldn't smell anything.

Jared started walking toward me, and he tried to mask his disgust. He blinked, freezing, "why do you smell like a leech?" He took a step closer, clearing his throat, shaking his head, "It's faint, but Paul is going to flip his shit." Jared put his hand to his nose, and I suddenly felt self-conscious. I couldn't smell anything, but the way he was acting made me feel like I was garbage. "Where were you? Who did you speak with?"

"I was at the hospit-"

"You don't look injured. Are you okay?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Why were you there," Jared interrupted again, crossing his arms. I glared at him, letting out a heavy sign.

"Jared, can you quit interrupting? Just let me finish," I said, huffing at him, and he opened his mouth to interrupt. I held my finger at him, and he snapped his mouth shut. "I am fine; I had a doctor's appointment, and I spoke with six people. The receptionist, Nurse Norris, Sue, my doctor, Dr. Cullen and Quil."

" ? Why him? What did he say? Did he touch you? Did he-" a deep unfamiliar growl sounded behind me. Jared's face drained of color, and he stood taller. I moved to turn, "Don't," Jared commanded, and I froze. "Stay still." The growling didn't sound like it was close, and I badly wanted to turn around, "It's going to be okay. Keep an eye on me, sister." I stared at him, trying to keep calm, and I could feel the goosebumps rise on my skin and the hair stand up on the nape of my neck. "I need you to relax and loosen your body." I shot him a skeptical look, and he inched closer, sending a grin, which did not help me feel at ease. "I know, it is hard. But it will help me keep you safe. Trust me, please." The growls sounded closer, and I took a deep breath, feeling my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I let out a breath, forcing my body to loosen. My eyes widened when Jared shot towards me, slamming his body into me, and we rolled towards the trees. I struggled to breathe, and he let go, placing his body in front of me, staring down at the chocolate brown fur, with light brown fur around its eyes and snout. It bared its teeth, moving to lunge and a burst of silver shot out of the trees, tackling it, rolling further into the forest. I could hear the growls, yelps, and snapping of jaws, and I could still see them fighting against each other in between the trees. Warm hands hauled me into a standing position and dragged me to the porch. "You okay?"

I nodded rapidly, unable to see the two wolves. "Thanks." I finally looked at him, and he looked down at me, his brows furrowed and his arms held up like my legs would give out. "I don't understand what I did wrong."

Jared set his hand on my shoulder, "You didn't do anything wrong. It's the scent. He must've mistaken you for a leech. You smell like one, and sometimes instincts can take over. A brand new wolf can have a hard time against instincts, but he will learn our laws and how to control it." I could still feel the adrenaline coursing through my body, "I can stay if-"

"You should go and help Paul," I cut him off, feeling the need to scrub my body. "I'm okay; I'm just going to try and get the scent off."

Jared nodded, squeezing my shoulder. "Remember, it's not your fault. Any of this." I nodded, watching him leave the porch and dart to the woods. I rushed into Paul's house, heading towards his room. I tried my best not to touch anything. I yanked open his restroom door, closing it quickly, moving to turn the water to the highest setting. I peeled my clothes off, feeling the water. Once it was hot enough, I stood under the spray, looking at the simple all-in-one body and shampoo. Men had it so lucky, and I opened it smelling his shampoo. It was so simple on how he always smelt as good. I scrubbed at my body, pushing past the throbbing of my skin at the rough treatment. I winced when I felt the stinging of open wounds. I grunted, inspecting my side and hip and how they were littered with small cuts and scrapes. I held up my arm, gently running my fingers over the other cuts, cursing at the rocks I must've landed on. I didn't even feel it when I landed. I washed my hair, humming to myself, thinking about why Jared was so focused on Dr. Cullen. He didn't have blood eyes.

A knock sounded at the door. "Babe," Paul's muffled voice filtered through the door. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I called, refraining from peeking my head out from the curtain. "Can you bring me something to wear and a towel," I asked, moving to rewash my hair, and I wasn't taking any chances.

When I finished starting to wash out the suds, he knocked on the door again, "coming in... okay?"

I faltered, feeling my heart start to race. "Okay." The door squeaked open, and I felt the rush of cold hair. "I'm sorry... I didn't know, and I tried not to touch anything."

He was quiet for a moment, and I wanted to peak out to look at him, "all I smell is me right now." I heard the lid clank against the toilet, and I heard it creak slightly. "Jared showed me that he tossed you around like a rag doll."

I held in a smirk; I did feel like a rag doll that was slammed into a wall of warm concrete. "You're not hurt... right? It looked bad."

"Few scrapes from the foliage... He kept me calm, so I didn't do something stupid. Is he okay," I asked, scrubbing my body one last time.

"Quil?" I hummed at his question. "He's fine, and Sam's teaching him our laws."

I couldn't help it, and I peaked my head out of the shower. Jared had mentioned it earlier, and there was no mention of laws in the book I had. "Laws?"

Paul stared at me, and it looked like he was holding himself back from reaching out to brush his fingers against my face. "Yes. We have our own laws, and we cannot harm imprints, and if you do, it could mean death." I felt the blood drain from my body as I thought about how much of a sweetheart Quil was. "I followed him as he was tracking you. He was driven on instinct, and it can happen when we turn. He turned in the woods where you dropped him off and struggled against his instincts, but it won, and he followed the scent of the leech."

Paul held the towel out, and I gingerly took it, holding the shower curtain against me. I wrapped it around my hair, and he held the other one. "Thanks." I dried my body, gently pressing the fabric against the scrapes. I wrapped it around my body, opening the curtain. He had shoved my clothes into the far corner and looked at me before his eyes trailed over me, stopping at my scrapes. "I'm okay." Paul stood up, not looking at my face as he tightly placed his arms around me. The coolness from the room disappeared when I was clutched in his arms. He buried his face into my neck, and I knew how angry he was. I could see it, even if he avoided my eyes. "Don't get too angry at him."

"He almost hurt you... and you want me to forgive and forget," Paul growled, holding me tighter, and I winced, feeling sore on my side.

"It's not his fault... you know that. He's brand new; how can he control something that triggers him," I countered, pulling back slightly.

"You were around a leech. From now on, I'll go with you when you need to leave. I can't protect you from here; I will not risk it again. It was too close, and I don't care if it was the wanna-be vegetarians," Paul scowled, his arms tightening again, and I held in the discomfort.

I pulled back, holding the towel. "Paul, just tell me what I need to look out for, and I'll be more vigilant," I tried to be understanding of his fear and not dismissive, but I could see by the tightening of his jaw it didn't help.

"Laryssa."

I nudged him to sit back on the toilet. "Eyes closed."

"But-"

"Eyes closed." He let out a puff of air, rolled his eyes, turned towards the shower, closing his eyes. "Tell me what to look out for." He stayed silent, and I held in my scoff at his show of silence. I dressed in his clothes, taking my hair out of the towel. I threw the towels over the shower rod, moving to sit on his lap. His arms went around me, "I can't imagine how you feel or what must be going through your mind. "I'm okay, but I need your help to tell me what I need to look for. As much as I want you to always be with me, you know it's impossible."

"Tomorrow, I'll tell you everything. I promise," Paul looked dejected, his hands wandering underneath the shirt I wore, pressing his hands against my skin. "When I saw you, Laryssa, all I felt was fear, and I could see what he saw and smell what he did." He rested his head against mine, "I am pissed off. I was far away, and I couldn't do anything. We protect each other. I just need you to be close to me. I can't think straight."

"Okay," I felt him tighten his arms, and I couldn't hold in the wince. He faltered, drawing back, lifting the shirt lightly. I glanced down, seeing slight red marks on my hip and side. He pushed down gently, and I couldn't hold my frown. "I think it happened when Jared helped me." I let go of him, trailing my fingers across my skin.

Paul didn't wait for me to settle back; he picked me up easily, smirking when I steadied myself by grabbing his neck. I grumbled to myself about his super strength. "What did you say?" He teased, pressing his face into my wet hair. I rolled my eyes, knowing he knew exactly what I said about him showing off his strength. He gently set me down on his bed, fluffing up the pillows. Paul urged me to lay back, and I wanted to complain about him going over the top. "You're going to be sore. You don't feel it now because of the adrenaline, but it's going to feel like you got into an accident." I moved to sit up, and he put his arm behind me to help me, putting more pillows behind me. "Stay here."

"Alright," I complied, lifting my head up for a kiss. He grinned, leaning down, pressing his lips to mine quickly, and I whined when he pulled away.

"I'll be right back," Paul stroked my hair, leaving me in the room. I moved my body, only feeling minor soreness. I looked around his room, seeing his clothes semi-folded and his muddy shoes tossed in the corner. He had his new carving placed on his side table. Paul returned, holding my bag, phone and a bag of frozen peas. I stared at him, and he tossed my phone on the bed. I reached for it, pressing my hand to my face to stop my yawn. "Tired?"

I nodded, checking to ensure I didn't have any texts from Jay. I locked my phone when I saw that he was still at Seth's. I turned, on my side, watching him curling closer to myself. He tugged off his shirt, sitting on the side of the bed closest to the door. He looked over his shoulder at me, and I set him a small smile. Paul laid back, maneuvering closer to me. He set the bag of peas on my side, and I tried to avoid the cold. "Nooo-"

Paul rolled his eyes, putting his arm under my body gently. "Babe," Paul murmured, putting it back on my side. I pouted at him, and he ignored me. I leaned forward, biting his shoulder, "Not gonna happen. You got to keep it on; it will help. You have to do it. If I do, it will melt." I huffed out a sigh, putting my hand on the cold peas. "I'll reward you if you keep it there." I nodded, pressing a kiss to his shoulder where I bit him. "You're such a minx."

I smiled into his skin. I laid against him, my mind wandering to Dr. Cullen. There was never a time I felt uneasy around him; the only thing that creeped me out was his young face and weird eyes. He was nice, and even if he was a cold one, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. "I ran into Nurse Norris." Paul's arm tightened against me. "Dr. Cullen helped me like he did in the past."

"Will you tell me everything," Paul moved, so I could see his face. I felt my heart stop, and I didn't know how to tell him.

I stared at him, letting the peas drop. I sat up, closing my eyes.

"Everything," I whispered, knowing everything would change again, and his protective nature would go into hyperdrive. "This isn't the first time he helped me."

Paul moved, sitting behind me, placing the peas back on my side. "You've met him before?"

"Yeah. When I was in the hospital. Dr. Cullen was one of my doctors," My voice came out soft, and I turned to look at him, "Nurse Norris started it all." Paul scooted closer, and the bubble felt secure and warm. "It was a week after my dad died. My mom had to go to the hospital to pick up her things and refused to let me stay home. She thought it would help me to be out. Mom left me with him in the room, and she didn't know I knew she had an affair with him. He tried to talk to me and give me food, but I couldn't. When I ignored him, he-" I faltered, closing my eyes, pressing myself closer to him. Fear coursed through me, and I was scared that he wouldn't believe me.

"Take your time," Paul soothed; he dropped the peas, placing his arms around me. "I'm here."

"He tried to corner me into the table, his fingers trailed against me, and he caught me off guard. I shoved him away, and he cornered me into the lockers. I scratched him and kneed him, and I ran. I ended up in the back of Billy's truck, and he unknowingly took me back to his house. From there, I ran home. I grabbed my mom's pills and left for the cemetery, and I tried to kill myself."

I felt him go deathly still behind me. I closed my eyes, hating myself for talking about this. "That was you." I opened my eyes, and fear kept me from looking at him. "I remember the yelling and an ambulance. I was at my friend's house, and all we could hear was screaming. We heard later that a girl fainted, and the brother saved her. Jay found you?" I nodded, unable to form any words. "I am so sorry, Laryssa." His arms tightened, and I gripped him back.

"You believe me," I asked, turning to peer at him.

He helped me turn, so I was facing him. "Of course." Relief coursed through my body, and I sank into him. "I believe you."

"I told my mom, and she doesn't. She was the only one I told." All of the energy left my body. "When I was in the hospital, Dr. Cullen helped me find Dr. Garcia, and he kept him away from me." Paul's fingers combed through my hair, and I could feel his trembles. "It was long ago, and I want to move on. All of the memories came back today, and I just needed someone who believes me."

"Did he do anything today," Paul asked, pulling back to look down at me.

"He only tried to talk to me," I said, grabbing the bag of melted peas. I moved to get up, but he held fast. "Dr. Cullen came, and he walked me to my car."

"What did he say?" I started smushing the peas in the bag, finding it soothing.

"Just trying to reminisce..." Paul's hands made their way to mine. "When we used to get along, I'd beg him to bring cherry jello when I visited my mom at work. So he just brought that up. It's in the past, and it's something I want to move forward from. It happened, and it's over."

"He won't come near you. I'll make sure of it." Paul squeezed my hands. "I don't know what to do besides getting angry. What can I do?" I took my hands from him, setting the peas to the side. I set my hands on his face, seeing how shiny his eyes were, "Babe?"

I pressed my head to his head, pressing my body as close as I could to him, "You have done everything." I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I kept this from you. I was terrified; you wouldn't believe me."

"Laryssa, I know you wouldn't lie about something like this, and I'm so sorry that someone you trusted didn't. Baby, it's not about me, and it's about you being ready to share your burden with someone. We protect each other and our family," I pulled back, and he took the opportunity to rub his nose against mine. "Thank you for telling me."

"I didn't keep the peas on," I mentioned, and he pulled back with a laugh. "So no reward?"

He took my silent request to change the subject. "I'll reward you if I get a new bag and you keep it on," I grumbled, putting my full body weight on him and tucking my face against his neck. Hoping it would dissuade him from moving. He was comfortable; if he moved, I would have to get comfortable again. "Don't be a brat."

"I'm your brat... so you have to put up with me," I smiled against his neck, and he put his warm hands under my shirt. He put them against the side he had been trying to ice. "That feels better than the ice."

"You're my sweetheart... my protector... the love of my life... Never my brat... Pain in the ass... only on Sundays," Paul's husky voice was laced with humor. I lightly trailed my fingers against his side before biting his shoulder. "You are so weird, my heart."

"Sunday's my ass," I sighed, tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. Paul laid back on the bed, taking me with him. I tried to move off and lay beside him, but he held fast. I gave up laying on top of him. I listened to his heart, and his hands rubbed my skin. "I love you so much."

His heart sped up, "I love you too." I closed my eyes, focusing on his fingers tracing shapes into my skin. "Sleep."

A/N: Numbers for those who want or need help.

National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1-800-656-4673

Suicide Hotline (call or text) - 988