Not too sure how I feel about this chapter but I want to get it published so here you go! Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter. Please keep them coming :)

They arrive at the hotel and head straight up to Elliot's room. He wasn't fussy when he checked in, demanding they give him any room they had available. As a result, he ended up hugely overpaying for a room with one bed, but he doesn't mind. It fulfilled its purpose of giving him somewhere to stay close to Olivia, but now as he unlocks the door and they cross the threshold, he worries about the singular bed, hoping she doesn't think he was intending on trying anything.

'I'll sleep on the sofa,' he gestures to it as they walk past.

'It's ok. I don't mind,' she responds quietly. It is his room, and she's already put him out enough today.

Elliot sighs. It's just like her to put everyone else above herself, even given what has happened. Nothing has changed since he left.

'We'll sort it later. Are you hungry?'

She needs to eat. He doesn't know how long it's been, but he does know that it will have been too long and that he needs to get something down her or she will make herself sick.

As expected, Olivia shakes her head. The last thing she wants to do is eat. The alcohol still has its hold on her and she's starting to feel dizzy. All she wants is to lie down… and sleep, but she's not sure how easily that will happen.

Elliot sighs. 'Okay, well I'm starving so I'm gonna order anyway and you can have what you want. Pizza okay?'

Olivia nods to please him and settles herself on the sofa, curling into the corner of it and making herself appear as small as possible. Behind her she can hear Elliot ordering the food and, if she closes her eyes, she can almost pretend that it is ten years ago and they're ordering dinner in preparation for working late again.

Almost.

Because as soon as Elliot puts the phone down and thanks the pizza restaurant, it is quiet. Too quiet. She can tell he's trying to make as little noise as possible, for her sake, but it's not helping. Silence is the opposite of what she needs, because as her surroundings grow quieter, her thoughts just get louder. Elliot sits down on the opposite side of the sofa, watching her out of the corner of his eye, and she cannot take it anymore. She snatches the remote from the coffee table in front of her and flicks the TV on. A trashy dating show appears on the screen but all she wants is the background noise. Still, she pretends to watch it for Elliot's benefit, though he must know that she's not remotely interested in it. Of all the things he thinks he knows for sure about Olivia Benson, he is entirely certain that she has never once enjoyed a dating show.

Despite this, he allows her to pretend, gives her the courtesy of thinking, even if just for a moment, that she has him fooled. He pretends not to watch her and scrolls through his phone, responding to messages from his children asking after Liv.

She's home now. I'm looking after her. I'll tell her you checked in.

He doesn't know what else to say.

…

The food's arrival is announced with a sharp knock at the door, startling Olivia and jolting her from her thoughts. She looks at him, wordlessly, as he walks up and collects the food, thanking the delivery man before he closes the door behind him. Olivia watches him lock the door before he brings the boxes over to her.

'I got you fries,' he says, passing her the box. She's never been able to resist french fries, which he knows well.

He chuckles to himself as he remembers their nights spent on stakeouts together, her stealing handfuls of fries she had adamantly claimed she did not want when he ordered them for himself.

'I don't need my own when I can have yours,' she'd reasoned, smirking across at him.

She knew full well he could not resist that smile.

A very different Olivia sits across from him now though, smiling gratefully at the fries as she picks at a few. She's trying, he knows that.

When he is satisfied that she's eaten enough, which is only about half, she puts the rest down and settles back onto the sofa, barely able to keep her eyes open.

'Do you want to go to bed?' Elliot asks, noticing her tired expression and how she appears to be trying to fight sleep.

Olivia hesitates. She does. She can barely stay awake anymore and she doesn't know if it's the alcohol or the pills or just the fact that Elliot is back and she's finally safe again, or maybe it's a combination of all of those things. Whatever it is, she wants nothing more than to get into a warm, clean bed and fall asleep.

But what if she can't? What if she can't fall asleep by herself, terrified that he will be lurking in the darkness, hidden in the far corner of the room and she won't see him until it's too late? Rationally, she knows he is, at the very least, unconscious in a hospital room, chained to the bed like an animal. But still, she's terrified and she doesn't know how to ask Elliot to make it better.

As though he can read her mind, Elliot stands up and offers her his hand. 'Come on,' he says simply. He pulls her to her feet and leads her through into the bedroom. Digging through a hastily packed suitcase, he pulls out a crumpled old shirt and hands it to her.

'Put that on. We'll get you some clothes in the morning.'

'Thanks,' she whispers. She waits for him to turn around and start fluffing the pillows before she reaches to take her clothes off. The ripped t-shirt gets discarded in a pile next to her feet, as well as the jeans she was wearing. Both filthy, both ruined.

Olivia climbs into bed and pulls the duvet up to cover herself as much as she can, all the scars and cuts and bruises. A voice in the back of her mind tells her that Elliot won't care, but she ignores it. She doesn't want him to see those parts of her.

'You ok?' he asks, though he knows that it is still a pointless question. She's very clearly not ok, so clearly that it physically hurts him.

She nods, though, in an effort to revert back to their pretending like nothing is wrong. She has to survive somehow, after all.

Still Elliot can't miss the way her eyes widen as she tracks his movement around the room and to the bedroom door, silently begging him not to leave her. He knows that her pride would never allow her to utter the words, to ask him to stay, but he knows she needs him to regardless. And so, he flicks off the lights instead and goes to sit on the other side of the bed, there if she needs him, but not so close that she might feel threatened, or obliged to do anything in return.

'You can close the door,' she whispers.

Elliot frowns. 'You sure? I'm ok with it open. It's not too bright.'

She remembers, he thinks to himself.

On the countless cases they'd worked shifts longer than twenty-four hours, never once had Elliot been able to sleep unless it was pitch black in the crib. It was always something Olivia had teased him for, having been able to sleep almost anywhere herself.

'El, seriously. Close the door,' she insisted, and if Elliot hadn't known with absolute certainty that she would get up and close it herself he wouldn't have complied. But she would, and so he did.

The message was simple really. The door was closed so Elliot could sleep and that meant he was sleeping there, with her, and keeping her safe.

Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Benson, he thought. If she wanted to keep her secrets though, that was fine by him. She was perfectly entitled to shield her pride if she wanted to.

…

'Please don't.'

He hears her whispers before his eyes are fully open. At first it takes him a second to wonder why Olivia is in his bed, let alone why she's pleading with someone, but then he remembers. The day's events come flooding back to him and he shoots up in bed. It's pitch black and all he can see is the crack of light from under the bedroom door that Olivia insisted on keeping closed, despite his protestations.

'No, stop. Please.'

She's becoming more desperate now, crying louder. Elliot never thought he'd hear the day that Olivia Benson begged anyone for anything and it breaks his heart. As he contemplates how best to help her, having heard before that you're not supposed to wake someone from a nightmare if it can be helped, she lets out a scream that is singularly the most harrowing thing he has ever heard and there is no doubt in his mind that he must wake her up.

'Liv, you're okay. Wake up, it's okay.'

The last thing he wants to do is startle her so, when she doesn't react to his soft words, he leans across the bed and places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

'Liv, wake up. It's not real. I'm here and you're safe, promise. Please, Liv.'

It is his turn, now, to beg and plead with someone who cannot hear him.

Elliot is at a loss for what to do; the only course of action he can think of is to try and hold her with both hands. He places both of his on her upper arms and tries to wake her up as gently as he can. To his dismay, the only effect this has is to further traumatize her as she tries to throw him off of her.

'Please, please don't.'

His heart shatters as he realizes that, somewhere deep in the fear-wrought subconscious of her mind, Olivia has somehow twisted his actions so that she has convinced herself that he is holding her down, hurting her- that he is somebody whom she has to beg to leave her alone.

Her legs begin to get tangled under the sheets and he can feel the sweat on her skin. She begins trying to shake free of his grasp, crying and begging him to leave her alone as she thrashes under the duvet, but he can't. He needs to wake her up from this nightmare, if only for his sake. He can't bear to see her in so much pain and terror. Wherever her mind is, he needs to bring her back.

'Liv, please, it's ok. I'm here and you're safe. You've got to wake up. Liv!'

He raises his voice at the end and he didn't mean to; he just lost control, desperate to end her fear. But then she is awake, finally, though he can see it takes a minute for her eyes to focus on him, to realize it is him and that she is safe.

'El?'

His heart clenches when he hears her call his name. He wants to go out, there and then, and track down Lewis, wherever he is, and kill him regardless of the consequences he would face himself. Gladly, Elliot knows he would burn in hell for eternity for Olivia. He wants to kill this man for what he has done to Olivia, but he also knows there is not enough pain in the world he could inflict upon him that would even begin to make up for it. Elliot can hardly bring himself to think of what he must have put her through to reduce her to this, though he knows it must have been bad.

'Yeah, it's me, Liv. You're ok.'

Olivia's voice wavers. 'I was back. He was there, on top of me again. Oh god.'

She wants Elliot, needs him, but she doesn't know how to articulate that. It's never been a strength of hers, voicing what she needs. Every instinct screams at her to leave the poor man alone. He's done enough. He can't possibly want to sit here and comfort her after a nightmare like this, like she's another of his children. A much stronger part of her, though, won't allow herself to pull away from him, because she does need him. The part of her brain that seems to have taken over knows she needs him, practically for survival at this point. Without him, she doesn't know how she will survive this and she is immensely grateful for the part of her that seems to recognise this.

My partner would know what to do with you, she'd growled at Lewis.

Elliot will always protect her, that much she knows.

Without waiting for her to agree or not, Elliot gets back into his side of the bed and pulls her into his arms, holding her tightly. She can't bring herself to push him away.

'You're not back there. You're safe; I've got you, I promise.'

He'd give anything right then to make it better for her. He would give anything to take the weight of the world off her shoulders, even if just for a minute.

He squeezes tighter when he feels her start to shake and her tears start to soak through the old t-shirt he wore to bed as she sobs, the stress and fear and pain finally overwhelming her. All he wants to do is get her away from here, away from her fear and pain and, though she'd hate to admit it, her insecurity. Insecurity, that what Lewis has somehow tainted her forever, that nothing will be ok again.

Insecurity that Elliot will leave her again.

'Shhh, let me take you someplace safe, Liv. Away from here, away from him. Wherever you want, ok? Just let me take you someplace else for a bit, please,' he whispers, rubbing the same random patterns on her skin again.

He holds her against his chest, trying to keep his breathing calm and slow so she can mimic it too. With the side of her head pressed against him, she can hear his heartbeat, the reliable lub-dub and the soothing rhythm grounding her. She is not there. She is safe with Elliot. Slowly, the images in her mind start to drift away and she is left with the feeling of warmth and security that she has only ever known Elliot to be able to provide. Not her mother, nor any other man she has ever had in her life has been able to make her feel quite so safe just by being there, by holding her and promising her everything will be all right. There's nobody that she trusts quite like Elliot, nobody else she would believe when they said she was safe.

'Kathy and I took the kids to California, once. We sat on the beach and it was so beautiful, Liv, you'd have loved it.'

He doesn't think it matters much what exactly he talks about, so long as it distracts her from thinking about Lewis and the beach house.

'The sea was so blue, you've never seen anything like it. Nothing but crystal clear water and the sky for miles. Sand as far as the eye can see either side and the sun shining down on you. There were palm trees behind us and Dickie tried to climb one. He got about halfway before he got stuck and I had to go after him, but the view. It was one of the most perfect things I have ever laid eyes on.'

Olivia grows almost imperceptibly heavier in his arms and her sobs subside, but he keeps going, partly for his own sake as well as hers.

'Apart from the kids when they were born. And you, Liv. You are, without a doubt, perfect.'

He whispers the last part, knowing she is too deeply asleep to hear him. It's true, though. Even having been held captive for four days, seeing Olivia again after those years apart was like coming back up for air. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. If anything, the last few years had been kind to her and she was even more stunning than when he'd seen her last. He couldn't tell her that, though, because he knew what she would do. She would playfully glare at him, push him gently and tell him not to be so stupid. No words could ever be enough for him to explain to her just how perfect she really was.

By now Olivia is fast asleep, still laying fully against Elliot's chest and though he tries to shift slightly, he knows he can't without risking waking her up. And then they will have to go through the whole charade of her remembering she is safe, and him making her feel comfortable enough to fall asleep again. It doesn't matter, though, because he knows that he would lie awake for days if it meant she could have one night of sleeping soundly, where she was safe and happy and quiet and nothing would hurt her. It's a kind of protectiveness he has never felt over anyone before, certainly not Kathy, which he's ashamed to admit. He knew that Olivia could look out for herself, that if push came to shove she was perfectly capable of surviving without him. And yet, he would give his life for her anyway. It scared him, feeling that strongly about anyone besides his children, but he would throw himself in front of a bus for her, would shield her from a thousand bullets if it came to it. So yes, Elliot could survive one uncomfortable night's sleep if it meant he could hold her and keep her safe from whatever she was afraid of.

He pulled the duvet further up so it covered them both, making sure Olivia was still happily asleep before he too closed his eyes and tried to do the same.