The next morning, they shared a coffee on his porch while Bear skipped around in the dewy garden.
"I have to meet some other people from the Capitol in an hour, but we can go to the meadow after?" She suggested, looking at him with sunglasses-clad eyes.
"Sounds good, you got anything other than those heels?"
"Of course, dear, I'm fashion-conscious, not stupid."
He shook his head, turned back to Bear.
"Bear, leave those plants alone!" He called. A dark car rumbled up to the gates.
"Alright, well, I must get going, I will see you. Let me put this mug away."
"That's alright, I'll get it. What time you gonna be home?"
"A few hours." She called.
"I'll let Bear know. He'll be waiting by the window I'm sure."
"You and him both."
She gave him a small, pretty smile and walked off. Bear followed her and she knelt down in that tight little dress, pet him.
"Bear, come on, boy! Leave the crazy lady alone."
Effie tsked, waved at him.
He watched Effie leave and returned to his empty house. It smelled like her. Strangely enough, he was already feeling the lack of her, a kind of sadness deep down inside. He looked at Bear.
"You like her, Bear? She's not as chatty as she normally is, but I'm sure that won't last long. Never does with her."
He went inside the kids' house and started working on their drain, Bear going into their room and bringing out one of Katniss's scarfs to play with.
"You're gonna get in trouble, old boy." Haymitch muttered, not stopping him.
"Damn kids. Can't do a thing in this house to save their lives. You could probably do more than them, Bear, and you were actually born yesterday." He said, nearly banging his head on their sink. The puppy made noises and started to fall asleep on her scarf.
"The kids will be back soon, bud. Wish it was sooner so you'd have something to do that wasn't using me as a damn dog toy."
The puppy whined.
"You gonna be that whiney when you're older?"
He whined again, as if on cue.
"Course you are. That's my luck."
By the time he was done, he went back to the garden to see an entire tea set laid out carefully on one of the garden tables. He smiled and walked back to his house, found Effie passed out on his couch. He went ahead and got started on lunch, knowing she'd be hungry once she rose.
"Don't bother her, Bear." He whispered to the puppy who, by the looks of it, was about to do just that. He tempted him with a big old bone to keep him busy. He fixed the puppy's bandana that got lost in his rolls and watched Effie curl into herself. She looked peaceful and so, very beautiful. Her golden hair hung down the couch, her arm lax.
He walked over to her with a plate, "Effie. Food."
She stirred and looked up at him with those giant eyes, took the plate and sat up. Bear abandoned his bone and tried to jump up with her.
"Trouble." She said, pinching off a piece of meat and giving him some.
Haymitch sat by her, "How was your… whatever you do."
"It was great. The children here are very inquisitive, the teachers were kind. I would've rather been here being terrorized by your little hellion, though."
He laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure he would've loved that, too."
They ate side by side, just like they used to all the time, alone in that train car. Of course, now Haymitch was painfully sober and aware of every little thing.
"Where were you?" She asked.
"Kids' house. They gave me a damn laundry list of stuff they need fixed and couldn't be bothered to learn to do themselves."
She smiled, breathed in, "Well, it sounds like you're a rather good handyman, Haymitch."
"Kids sure take advantage of it." He mumbled, taking a drink of coffee.
They got dressed and she surprised him with her boots. She sure was cute in them.
"Those things don't have 6 inch heels on 'em?" He asked, leashing Bear.
"Very funny, Haymitch." She said, looking up at him.
He gave her a smile, "You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."
They walked through the woods, side by side. The weather was perfect today, a little cool, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
"You're chatty these days, Eff." He called.
"Not much to say."
"Is something happening in the Capitol, because you are acting… quiet." He was overthinking it, he knew he was. Sobriety would do that to you.
Her face contorted into that familiar fury that let him know he was about to get it, "What in the world do you mean, Haymitch? When I used to talk, you'd complain. Now when I talk less, you complain. I can very well talk your ear off! Nothing is going on! For Panem's sake. Always an issue with you!"
"It's not natural for you to be so damn quiet."
"It's not natural for you to want me to speak!" She yelled, poking his shoulder.
"Of course I want you to speak, Effie. Of course I do! I like when you talk, I just give you a hard time because that's what we do! Shit…"
"You expect too much of me, always! I'm not here for your entertainment, Haymitch!"
"I know, I know! God, Eff. I just… I miss how things were."
"Things change. You're not drunk off of your ass everyday and that's the biggest change of all. Maybe things are different because you are seeing how they really are!"
"Is this because of that Capitol boy? You afraid to talk to another man out of fear you'll piss him off?"
"No! Goodness, Haymitch! You are upsetting me."
"Then what?"
"Then what? Then what? Well, then," she choked, tears of frustration springing up in her eyes. He cut the anger real quick, he was being an asshole for no reason. "I don't know."
They went and sat on a rock, let Bear go scamper through the leaves.
"Alright, sweetheart, jig is up. What is it? I know somethin' is going on. I've known you since before you had crow's feet."
She pushed him, a soft chime of laughter coming from her. She breathed out, about to lay it all on the line.
"I'm tired, Haymitch. The war was so awful. All of the children gone. Thirteen. I'm just tired. Everyday I wake up and have a pit in my stomach. I get night terrors thinking of all of the wrong I have done. I dream about the children. I dream about the games. I dream about the bombings. I throw up sometimes, and I know I didn't even have close to the worst of it. I dream it's reaping day and I'm as excited as I once was, and I pull names and look out and the crowd is just bludgeoned children. Hundreds of them. Thousands. I dream that we sit with them, dine with them, try to advise them, and once they feel confident, I stab them right before the opening ceremony. Leander never understands, but the guilt is terrible, terrible. The shame, the fear. I know it is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to you and the kids, but it is there. And I come here and I can feel it, so palpable. And those children today, Haymitch, just the sweetest little group of children you could ask for. If this were a couple of years ago, they'd soon be up for death and I'd be the grim reaper paddling the boat."
He watched her, wiped a glittering tear from her cheek. He didn't know what to say, so he said exactly what he thought would help solve this.
"Stay here. The kids miss you." He whispered, barely audible.
"I can't. My life is there… with them. I am so tangled up in it." She muttered in that breathy accent of hers, hand on her cheek.
"You don't owe them anything, Effie. I've got way more money than I need and no one to share it with. Stay. Screw them, you have never been like them. Not where it counts." He said, wiping his calloused hands against his pants.
"I wish it was that simple."
"Dammit, Effie! It is that simple!"
"It is not! Uprooting your entire life to move in with someone across the country is not that simple, Haymitch! And what happens if we don't get along? What then? What happens if things don't pan out?"
"We never got along, princess, but we figured it out. That's what love is, Effie. You figure things out together and it's not perfect. We have seen each other at some of our worsts and yet here we still are."
She blinked, stunned, "Love?"
"Whatever, Effie."
"Don't do this to me."
"It's already done. Now you can stay here a week and go back to that Capitol I know you hate and that man I know you don't want anything to do with if that's what makes you happy. And yes, I love you, Effie. I still love you. I have always loved you and you'd be a damn liar if you said you didn't know that. We all love you. Me, the kids, hell, Bear, too. Old boy was looking for you half the damn day."
She started crying harder.
He pulled her onto his lap, his arms folding around her.
Effie looked at him and they were so close they were about to kiss. She sniffled and pushed some of his hair back with her cold, little fingers, "You make things difficult."
"Must've spent too much time around you." He whispered.
She laughed, her hand rubbing the handsome stubble on his cheek. Her heart was so full looking at him, so in love, as if they never stopped seeing one another. It wasn't normal, wasn't healthy. But it felt wonderful.
"This is wrong." She whispered.
"Then hop off, girl."
She rolled her eyes, looked him up and down, "You might have to force me."
"Well, we both know I've never had a great moral compass." He replied, his hand grazing her side, where her back met that ass.
"Trust me, I'm well aware." She said, looking down at him. She pushed a wayward hair out of his eyes.
"You're beautiful." He whispered, kissing her palm. She had a way of making him softer than he'd like to be.
Bear barked and Effie stood as if being snapped out of a trance.
"Damn dog. Bear, that is a mockingjay! Leave it alone!" Called Haymitch, irritated, clipping the leash back on the puppy.
They walked onward to the meadow, which was not at all far. Wildflowers grew rampant and the sun always hit it in a way that turned it as warm and gold as Effie's natural hair. They sat on a log and let Bear run loose.
"Isn't he a little young for that?" She asked, watching on nervously.
"Eh, he's gotta learn one way or another."
"You are an absolutely horrible daddy, Haymitch." Said Effie, her eyes glued to the puppy, her hand grasping her necklace.
"I've got my moments."
She relaxed a little when Bear finally stopped short, plopped down on a patch of grass near them and fell asleep.
He felt her head on his shoulder and he pulled her in, kissed her hand.
"This is nice, Haymitch."
"Glad you think so, honey."
She started up talking about how she would have adored the meadow as a little girl. He was glad she felt comfortable enough to fully talk both of his ears off again, knowing he only half-listened. He hadn't felt this warm in a long, long time. He didn't know how he'd cope when she was gone.
"Let's go home, it's gonna get dark soon."
She nodded, yawning and stretching.
As they were walking back, she laced her arm in his, didn't speak anything of it, "I'm famished."
"Not surprised." He uttered, kissing her temple.
He hung Bear's leash up and she helped him in the kitchen.
"Now, don't touch anything flammable or any seasonings, Eff." He called to her.
"Oh shush."
"We've already done that and you damn near killed us both."
"You wouldn't have felt a thing, drunk as you were!" She exclaimed, chopping up onions as her eyes watered, her nose running.
"Yeah, you burn down my house, I might have no choice but to go back to drinking."
"Oh, please!" She exclaimed, dabbing her eyes.
They ate at the table, he listened to her rattle on about her plans for the week happily, "…and then Octavia's friend said my dress made me look like a milkmaid. Are you even listening, Haymitch!"
"I got the first few words."
"You're infuriating!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, a smile on his face.
After dinner, they strolled the gardens again, her not letting go of his arm, humming a small little tune. She seemed happy as a clam after yelling at him earlier.
"I think tomorrow we should go in town. We could go see the new arrivals at the book shop. I saw all the non-fiction stuff on your shelves, I didn't know you still read those."
"Fiction is useless."
She glared at him, "And non-fiction is boring! Who wants to read something if you can't even enjoy it?"
"I enjoy it, Eff."
She rolled her eyes.
"I saw that set you got those girls. They'll probably come by soon. They're gonna love it." He said fondly, looking down at her.
"Good, I wanted to get them the best I could. Although, I think the Capitol chipped one of the cups on the way here. They simply cannot be careful to save their lives." She ranted, a small line forming between her eyebrows.
"You could've got them a couple of pieces of wood and they would've loved it, Effie." He said, kissing that worry line away.
She smiled up at him, her upset dissolving, "Good."
He pulled her into him, smelled her soapy hair, "Hope you brought me some of that soap."
"Don't touch it, Haymitch! You use way too much at a time. It's nearly empty after you shower."
"I'll try to resist."
She smiled down at her shoes, "You're stupid."
"You like it."
"I know." She whispered.
They walked in silence, her arm still circling his in that familiar death grip he remembered from the games. He used to think she did it to keep him upright, but now he theorized that maybe she did it to keep him closer. Bear tuckered out and she picked him up, brought him inside with them. He made her some tea and sat beside her while she sipped it.
"You sleeping with me again tonight?" He asked, leaning back on the couch.
"Perhaps, why?"
"Need to know if I should wear armor or not."
"I am not that bad!"
"Yeah, you're worse." He shot back with a smirk.
"Oh, please." She said, sipping her tea. She set the cup and saucer down and turned to him, looked at him with those light, watchful eyes.
"What you lookin' at, girl?"
"A handsome man."
"Psh. I know it." He said. She gave him a small pity laugh, her hands now visibly trembling against her dress. He took them and pulled her onto him, letting her straddle him.
Her chest heaved, heat rose to her face.
"I don't know." She blurted, one of her cold hands laced in his.
"You don't have to know anything right now." He returned, placing a couple strands of her soft hair behind her ear gently.
"I shouldn't have come here. I knew it would be bad." She uttered with a sigh, her eyes starting to water.
He stayed silent, watched her with heavy lids as she kissed his palm, brushed her tongue against the pad of his thumb. He was transported back to that quiet night in 13, fucking with his lips on her mouth after talking for hours under the dim light, feeling her tense up against him as an orgasm ripped through her, his heart so full despite the searing pain in every other part of him.
"No one's forcing you, Eff." He whispered. It probably wasn't the best thing to say in that moment, but wanted her to know she had a choice. She always did.
She nodded, pushed his hair back and he took it as an opportunity to kiss her wrist, right where she sprayed that honeysuckle.
"Take me to bed." She whispered, and he didn't have to be told twice. He picked her up and laid her on his bed like she was made of porcelain. He leaned over her and she pushed his hair back.
"So handsome." She whispered.
"Got a face only an Effie could love."
"Shush." She said, finally leaning in and letting him kiss her. It felt like heaven, like the world around them disappeared and it was only him and his nut case Capitol woman. He heard her moan against him, a release of pleasure that had been lying dormant for years.
He kissed her neck, her chest, back up to her lips.
"You sure?" He whispered, kissing her pulse.
She moaned, slowly taking his shirt off and slipping out of her dress. He took that as a yes.
"I love you, Haymitch." She said, her eyes ablaze with something much deeper than lust.