Disclaimer: I own none of the original characters nor plot of Blue Lock.
Warnings: cursing, abusive/neglectful parents, secondary character death, allusions to strangulation/noncon (but nothing explicit)
UPDATED TIMELINE
See chapter 12 part 1. Add on that they go on their date after an entertaining (for readers) send off from Mina. Start with a walk to the mall, arcade, see a movie, then go to a restaurant. Reina is noticeably discomfited by the restaurant choice, later revealed to be because it was one of the ones owned by Chisaki's family. Chisaki enters the restaurant, and doesn't talk with her but just seeing him is enough to send her into a panic. She leaves the restaurant, Yoichi follows, they argue, Reina runs away.
Spanish 101
*Abbi – a cutesy/kiddy/affectionate short form of abuelita, which means grandmother.
* Mija - an affectionate way to say my dear, sweetheart, darling. Commonly used by parents/grandparents/older family members with daughters, granddaughters, other younger female family members.
* Tito – literally means uncle, but colloquially used as an affectionate term by a kid for a man for an older generation e.g. can be used as a short form of abuelito, which means grandfather.
* Quinceañera (short form/slang = Quince) – Celebration of a girl's 15th birthday, marking her passage from girlhood to womanhood. Cultural roots in Mexico and is widely celebrated by girls throughout Latin America. (Source: wiki) Also, very commonly celebrated in the US by girls with latinX backgrounds.
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chapter 12 part two– red riding hood
"It starts with a scarf"*
That had been a lie.
This story doesn't begin with a red scarf forgotten at a café.
"This crazy…" Yoichi sets off behind her. Did Reina seriously think she was going to outrun him? She's aware he's training to be a professional athlete right? However, Reina's smart and cunning, so she gets as far as she does solely because there's a traffic light that she catches but he doesn't.
'Fuck.'
To be frank, the striker would have caught her immediately if he hadn't initially hesitated. When she first sprinted away, he had stalled long enough to ponder if chasing after her was even worth the hassle, before ultimately deciding to catch her first and decide later.
Now, he taps his foot impatiently, as he waits for the walk signal to change. Yoichi watches her get swallowed by the sea of people on the other side of the crosswalk, and sincerely regrets his initial hesitation now.
The signal finally turns green.
Whatever guilt Yoichi felt over his delay is immediately masked over by his annoyance at the evening Shinjuku crowds. Deftly maneuvering around families and other pedestrians, he ignores the occasional confused gazes directed his way from the people he brushes by during his pursuit. Luckily, the crowd abides by the Japanese social default of minding their own business, instead of wondering why he's chasing after a runaway Reina.
He catches her just before the entrance to Gyoen Park. It isn't a careful capture at all. "Got you." He snatches her abruptly, his first arm grabbing around her shoulders and the second one wrapping around her waist, trapping her in his arms before he swings her behind a nearby vending machine. "Now, why the hell did you ru-"
Instead of pushing him away and continuing with her stubborn struggles like he expected, she instead turns into his chest and starts crying. "Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I was just mad and jealous. Don't… don't hate me too. I'm sorry."
Perhaps he should question or rebuke her, but how can he when she's trembling so miserably in his arms? So, the resigned striker opts for comforting her instead. "It's okay," he says softly (if a bit awkwardly), while moving his hand from her shoulder to gently pat her upper back. (His other hand keeps a firm grip on her waist though, crinkling her fancy dress. He isn't letting her run away again.)
By the time she's somewhat settled, she's wrapped up in his jacket, and they're sitting back to chest against one of the trees in the English garden. The end up positioned just like they were on Saturday night, so that her legs are bracketed by his own. He's already given her a water bottle from the vending machine near the entrance, and she's currently sniffling into some tissues courtesy of an empathetic park employee.
He tilts her face over her shoulder so their gazes meet. She's mostly calmed down, but her eyes are still swollen. He looks at the red-webbed eyes, and hates himself for every second he hesitated before coming after her. "Can you tell me what happened at the restaurant? Why did you leave?"
She tenses and averts her eyes. She starts to shake her head no, but his grip on her chin stays firm.
"Please tell me," he implores, as he tries to find the words that will coax the truth out of her. "Did I do something wrong?" She shakes her head again, but stays silent, with her eyes still stubbornly refusing to meet his own. "Then help me understand what happened." He can easily sense her doubt and fear, so he uses what he knows about her to hedge a guess at the root of her refusal. "No matter what you tell me, it won't change how I feel about you, I promise."
Nearly there, just a little more.
Almost unconsciously, his hand leaves her chin. His knuckles trace against the arch of her damp cheek, before his fingers trail further to move a wild lock of hair back behind her ear. And before he can stop himself, his mouth briefly brushes against her exposed temple. The movement was too swift and light to be called a kiss, more of a whisper against her skin. If he thought about it more deeply, he supposes the chaste action was mostly motivated out of a desire to comfort her. But not entirely. There was a small part of him that just couldn't help himself, because she looked…
With her big shining eyes and thick, wet lashes…
With her lips swollen from biting them down to stop her tremors…
With her vulnerable expression and soft warmth…
'You look so pretty.'
(If he ignored the snot, at least.)
Is it bad that he thinks she looks pretty even when she cries? Even her sticky-sounding sniffles seem cute now. How strange. The more he sees her, the lovelier she gets. And the more he learns about her, the greedier he gets too. He's recognized for a while now… that he wants her in the way a boy wants a girl. He has even fantasized about it, more than once, since they fell asleep together after the festival. But the swooping in his stomach, the clenching in his chest, the desire to know everything, the utter inability to let her run away from him, even how he spares time to for her despite knowing he shouldn't…
(But anytime he considers leaving her, he can't. Instead, Yoichi remembers how at peace he felt at the shrine, with his head in her lap, as she ran her fingers through his hair.)
This must be something more than physical, right? It has to be. These feelings makes him think they were meant to be together from the very beginning. So, then, is his reluctance to let her go really a surprise? His soul was drawn to soccer, so he obsessed over it for years - to the point where he'd neglected school, friends, and sometimes even his family. So after being so similarly drawn to this girl, after finding such a solace in her… is it really a surprise that his yearning for her is so consuming?
'Do you feel the same way about me? You must, right?'
Her eyes finally meet his own. Perhaps whatever she finds in his expression is more comforting than his previous words and actions, because she finally concedes. Any residual tension leaves her body as she turns entirely, and then completely collapses into him.
She presses her cheek presses against his shoulder, her warm breath tickling his skin as she sighs into his neck. "Where do I even start?"
"It starts with a scarf"
That had been a lie.
This story doesn't begin with a red scar forgotten at a café.
Rather, the story actually starts with a sparkling red...
It starts with a coat.
The day after Abbi goes to the doctor's office, she buys Reina a bright, red jacket. And five-year-old Reina is so, so excited because it's just so pretty. (It's the sparkly fall coat she wanted, but her grandma said was too expensive the last time they went to the mall.)
" Gracias Abbi!" Reina spins and spins in their living room, loving the way the fancy bottom of the princess-style coat floats around her. She laughs brightly as she dizzily collapses into her grandma's waiting arms, and buries her face in Abbi's sweater. Reina has to squish her arms really tightly to give the older woman a proper hug, though; Abbi's been starting to wear thicker and thicker sweaters and coats, even though it's not even that cold out yet at all.
Her grandma hugs her just as tightly back, and then pulls Reina into her lap as they sit together on their couch. Abbi runs her hand through Reina's curls and the five-year-old giggles at the ticklish sensation.
"Oh, mija ." The older woman puts a warm palm on Reina's cheek. "You know, when your mom turned fifteen, she picked a red Quince dress. Oh, your Tito and I were so angry when she told us." Abbi laughs. " Quinceañera dresses should be white, we told her again and again. But she was stubborn, so stubborn, even back then. But then your mom stepped into the backyard in her flaming red dress, and oh, everyone's jaws hit the floor. She was so beautiful." Her grandma sniffs. "I always thought… I always thought you would look so lovely in a red Quince dress one day too."
"Abbi?" Reina blinks, confused. "Why are you crying?"
"The doctors had diagnosed her with stage four lung cancer that morning." Reina leans against Yoichi, speaking softly with her cheek against his shoulder. "She already had multiple metastases in her brain. Apparently, they said it was a miracle she was even as coherent as she was and then they told her… that it was unlikely she would survive the year. Based on the rate of the cancer's growth, they also told her they'd be surprised if she was lucid for even another six months."
" Vamos a prisa. It's time to go. Come along now, mija. "
"Can I bring my book? Please, Abbi?" Reina finishes zipping up her new coat. "I want to see what happens next to Little Red Riding Hood and her grandma! I won't lose it this time, I promise!"
"Sí, sí," her grandma nods quickly, while donning her own thick coat.
Reina sits on the old stool by the door. As she slides on her pink runners, she hopes the wolf in disguise doesn't actually eat Little Red.
"Abbi?" Reina calls out while fastening the Velcro of her shoes.
The five-year-old observes the scratchy material once she finishes, and pouts. Reina doesn't know how to tie shoes with laces yet, like Gurjeet from her class and Theo from recess. Even Esme from next door, the one who never says Reina's name right…
'It's not REEna, it's RAYna!'
Even that dummy Esme wears big kid shoes and knows how to tie her own laces.
'Whoops.'
Abbi heard her once and said only dumb people called other people dummies. So Reina isn't supposed to call people dummies anymore, even in her head.
("Even when they are being really dumb though?"
Her grandma snorts. "Even then.")
And then Abbi said that if people heard Reina saying bad words, they would think Abbi was taking bad care of Reina. So the little girl promised that she wouldn't anymore. But still…
'Even dum- even Esme can tie her own shoes. I want to know how to do it too.'
Reina harrumphs indignantly before grabbing the book again, and sliding it under her arm. 'Whatever, it's fine. Abbi can just teach me later.'
"Yes, mija?" Abbi responds, as the older woman lifts Reina up from the stool and nudges her towards the door.
"Why don't we go to your library anymore? I miss it." Reina whines, scrunching her nose as she steps into the apartment hallway. The hallway smells funky again. But Abbi's library never smells funny; Reina loved Abbi's library. Before, the little girl used to spend every day there with Abbi after school. But they haven't been going lately, and Reina doesn't know why.
Her grandma smiles as she locks the door. "Because the books told me you were reading them too fast, so they needed time to bring more of their friends. You're just too smart, nenita ."
"Really?" Reina grins proudly. "I'm smart?"
Her grandma laughs. "Ah, do I not tell you enough?" She bends down in front of her. "You are the smartest, most beautiful girl in the entire world." Abbi pats Reina's head. "Now, my smart and beautiful granddaughter. You will be the nicest and politest little girl in the world, too, yes? When we go see Mr. Sasaki?"
Reina scowls, arms crossed. "I don't like him. He's grumpy and never smiles. Why do we have to see him again?"
Her grandmother gives her a sad sort of look, as the older woman gently lifts the red hood over her head. "I am asking him to help me with something, something very important. So you must be very good, okay? Best behaviour, and if Mr. Sasaki agrees to help me, you must always listen to him? Comprendes mija?"
"Sí, Abbi." Reina nods half-heartedly, before brightening. "Abbi, Abbi! Can you make me sopapillas again when we go back home!?" She pats her tummy with her free hand. "Yours are always so, so yummy!"
Abbi laughs joyfully as they walk to the bus stop.
"My grandpa was an only child that was orphaned after World War 2, and he passed away while my mother was pregnant with me. My grandma grew up through the American foster care system and had no other living family. Even if my mom had a miraculous change of heart and suddenly decided to try being a parent, she couldn't. She was a raging alcoholic and partier extraordinaire, who bounced from one bad pseudo-relationship to another. At that point, no sane court would have ever granted my mother custody over me. So my grandma worried that if she didn't find my father, then the state would send me into foster care when she died. Abbi didn't want me to be trapped with an abusive foster family like she had been." Reina gives a bitter smile at that. "So Abbi paid for some fancy genetic test and hired someone to figure out who my father was, since my mom refused to tell her. And then Abbi had a lawyer we knew, Sasaki-san, to help… get the paperwork sorted. It was a lot of legal stuff that Sasaki-san has always been vague on. Ultimately, all I know is that it ended in some sort of contract where Otousama would be responsible for me until I hit twenty – since that was the age of majority in Japan back then. But there were a lot of… rules and things that Otousama had to do. Sasaki-san still checks in every once in a while to make sure he does them." She tilts her head. "Honestly, that's the one part I've never understood."
"What do you mean?" Yoichi asks her.
Reina sighs. "Otousama takes commands from no one. Ever. Not his business partners, not even his wife; I've never seen him bend to anyone. Growing up, I suppose he was more… lenient with Sae-niisan, but Otousama would never kowtow to him. But, whenever Sasaki-san tells my father to do something, he listens, no matter how much I can tell that Otousama is against Sasaki-san's suggestion. I mean there must be a reason, but any time I've tried bringing it up, Sasaki-san just avoids the question."
Of course, Reina has her suspicions…
("How old are you?")
"Did you ever ask your father?" Her handsome cushion asks.
"No," which is an honest answer by the most technical of definitions. She never asked her father because the man provided his version of an answer before she could ever attempt to.
("I will never raise a hand against you. I will raise you alongside my own children. You will want for nothing because of the name I've given you. But if you ever forget what I tell you today… I won't care if it's an accident, or a mistake, or if you're young … This is a secret you will take to your grave. If you ever tell anyone, you don't want to know what I will do to you. Do you understand?")
"He's not the approachable type," Reina summarizes, figuring Yoichi will draw his own conclusions from that. They'll be incorrect, of course, because he's missing the most important piece needed to complete the puzzle.
Five-year-old Reina doesn't like coming to Mr. Sasaki's house. Mostly because it's just so boring. When she finishes the book she brings (like she just did) then she has nothing else to do. Mr. Grumpy does have a bunch of toys in glass boxes, but even though she asked really nicely a whole bunch of times, he said she wasn't allowed to play with them. How mean! Mr. Sasaki even got upset when she called them toys!
(You're always supposed to share your toys, she learned that in school!)
'Well, his 'figurebeans' or whatever don't look that fun to play with, anyways,' young Reina begrudges. 'I don't even want a superhero toy like the ones he has anyways, I want a pretty Parbie like the one Nicole had. Or maybe a toy horse or a bird, those would be fun too.'
Any toy but a wolf, Reina decides.
After finishing her book, despite the happy ending, Reina thinks she would rather never encounter a wolf. They seem like greedy, scary things. She's afraid that if she ever meets a wolf, he'll eat her up completely. But Little Red only met the hungry wolf because she got lost in the woods while searching for her grandma, right? So, Reina resolves to never get lost and to never leave Abbi, then she can avoid wolves forever.
With no more books to distract herself with, a bored Reina starts wandering around Mr. Sasaki's fancy house, even though she was supposed to stay in the living room. Then she accidentally overhears a conversation that she doesn't really understand.
"Señora, please listen. This isn't even the type of law my firm practi-"
"Mirai, you are my best friend's son. I saw you bike down our streets as a kid. You babysat Izzy for me. I trust you more than any other suited type with mine and mi amor's estate, meager as it might be, and to ensure that addict daughter of mine does not try to steal it from Reina. Or even worse, use my granddaughter for a government paycheck and then abandon Reina to her own devices."
"Señora, it's so much more than the will. That's the easy part. The situation with Isabella and Reina's father… honestly, this belongs in the hands of a criminal defense lawyer more than anything. This… what you're planning… it is a very grey legal path you're taking with this. Some might argue it's tantamount to blackmail. Do you realize what you're asking of me to get involved in?" Mr. Sasaki heaves a deep sigh. "Honestly, after what that man did, I don't even know why you would entrust Reina to his care."
"What other options do I have, huh? You think Reina should suffer through that foster care hell while her drunk mother parties her nights away and her rich father lives unbothered in his fancy mansion abroad? You think it's right? Fair? Just? All those words you used to preach so passionately to my husband when he asked you why you wanted to become a suit so bad."
Mr. Sasaki sighs.
"Mirai, please." Abbi begs. "You even speak Japanese because of your father, yes? Please, I am begging you. I have no one else to turn to with this. When I pass on, that little girl will have no one."
"Señora, if this works the way you want it to, which to be clear, I don't think it will. But even if it does … you'll be alone when…" he pauses. "You deserve to have your family there in your last days."
Abbi gives a wet laugh that doesn't sound like a laugh at all. "Well Reina doesn't deserve to remember me as some delirious, crazy woman who couldn't even recognize her. I told you what the doctors said and what I saw in that ward. You won't change my mind, Mirai. So please. Please help me. Help her… And if not for us, then for what you owe my late husband at least."
"Woah…" Newly six-year-old Reina smushes her nose against the small window, amazed. "Abbi! Mr. Mirai! Look, look! The city is so small now! The buildings are like ants! No, smaller than ants!"
'Planes are the coolest.'
"Sí, mija." Her grandma smiles weakly from the seat next to her. Then the older woman reaches a hand to pat down Reina messy curls, looking very tired when she does. 'Abbi looks tired a lot, nowadays.' Reina wonders if her grandma should have more juice. Reina always gets lots of energy when she drinks juice, especially fruit punch. 'It punches me awake! It's juice for my brain – it's brain juice!' She giggles at her funny joke.
The six-year-old looks out the window again, and spots white puffy cloud-people. "Mr. Mirai, Mr. Mirai! Look, the clouds look just like your figurebeans !"
"For the last time, they are figurines , not-" But the man seated on the other side of Abbi just ends his sentence with an exasperated sigh, rather than words.
Reina's already onto a new, more exciting, train of thought.
"Abbi, are we going to the moon?" she asks, awed.
That would be the coolest birthday present ever! Ms. Chen said they were going to have a big classroom show-and-tell when they all came back after Christmas holidays. If Reina goes to the moon, maybe she could use a moon rock for her show-and-tell? Or even better, maybe Reina could bring back a star!
(But stars look so small, what if she reaches for them, but they slip through her fingers?)
Abbi chuckles. "Planes can't take us there quite yet, nenita."
Mr. Sasaki scoffs. "You're thinking of rockets, Reina."
Reina's eyes widen. "A rocket? Woah. " Her mind fills with possibilities, and she excitedly shakes her grandma's arm. "Abbi, Abbi! Can we go in a rocket next?"
"Sit back in your seat, Reina." Mr. Sasaki answers instead of her grandmother. "Only people who are trained astronauts can go in rockets. It takes many years of hard work. They don't just let anyone into space."
"Ohhh, I see." Reina nods. What a com-fun-drum. (Mr. Sasaki taught that word to her this morning. He's been explaining lots of his big words to her the past few days. He's even been trying to teach her funny words like kon'nichiwa to say hello. Which is silly, why say something so long when you can just say hi? She thinks saying hello from a rocket would be fun. How many years is many years? Three, four, five? Five years seems like a lot, but she thinks she could do it if it meant she could catch a star.) "Hey, Abbi, Abbi! Can I be an aster-nut?"
Mr. Saski cuts in again to correct her. "It's pronounced astrO-nOT, not astER-nUT."
"Mirai, that suit has made you too stern. She's still a child." Abbi chuckles before turning back to Reina. "I think you'd be the best astronaut in the entire universe."
'So cool!'
Reina plasters her face back against the slightly fogged plexiglass.
"That's right. I'll be an aster-nut." She announces with gusto. "Then I can go to the moon! I'll bring you back a star, Abbi. And I'll even bring Mr. Sasaki a moon rock, too. So he can put it in a glass box next to his other toys."
The disgruntled lawyer groans. "Like I've already explained, they're collectible figurines , not-"
"When we landed in Tokyo, it was like being in a whole new world. I was so excited." Reina lets out a wet chuckle against Yoichi's shoulder, mentally apologizing for the snot she's probably already gotten on his nice vest. (Ah, he's a bit of a clean freak, so he's probably grossed out, huh? But he hasn't leaned away, so maybe he just hasn't noticed the mess yet.)
Reina's thoughts shift from her ugly crying back to her past, as she morosely thinks on what was probably the worst day of her life.
"I thought we were going on an adventure for my birthday, I didn't realize my grandma had booked me a one-way flight."
"Abbi?! Abbi!" Reina wails, clinging to her grandma's trembling legs. "Was I bad? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The six-year-old cries. "Please don't leave me! Please take me back!"
Mr. Sasaki pulls her away, despite her screeching and clawing. The lawyer guides her towards a man she's never seen before. "Hello, Reina. I am your father."
She is too frantic over returning to Abbi to be curious about the man and his relation to her. "Let me go, let me go!" But Mr. Sasaki isn't letting her turn around at all. Reina looks up by default in her desperation (only because Mr. Sasaki won't let her turn back), and sees a tall man smiling down at her.
"You speak funny!" Reina spits out venomously, planting her feet to try to stop herself from being pushed towards the man. "Mr. Sasaki, let me go! I want Abbi! Abbi! Abbi!"
She sobs even louder, and does not like the smiling stranger at all.
(Later in life, she will regret losing that innate ability to perceive fake smiles.).
"I don't even remember what I said. I just remember crying and yelling and screaming. All I know is that at one point I told Abbi that I hated her, and that I wouldn't love her anymore if she left me. How terrible was I, right?"
"You were just a kid," Yoichi replies softly. "You didn't mean it."
'But I did. I was six and stupid, so I mistook anger and hurt for hate.'
"I know." Reina says instead. "Abbi did too. Sasaki-san had arranged some phone calls between us before she… before she died. I don't even remember those calls, you know? But Abbi wrote this big journal for me. Filled it with as many pages as she could. Words of wisdom, random memories of me, or her times with my grandfather or even with my mother, when she was younger and sober. Abbi included stuff about my grandfather's past, and even her own. She didn't have a ton of photos, but she put in what had. I even have a black and white picture of Sasaki-san when he was a moody, teenage babysitter, though I've never told him." Reina chuckles. "Abbi even filled the journal with letters for the future, you know? She wrote me a letter to read for when I finished high school, and even a letter for my quinceañera," Reina briefly pauses, but not long enough for Yoichi to ask what the heck that is. "Not just the big, official milestones, but even for the other kind of stuff too. Like she wrote me letters for a time I "need a hug" or for "the time you fail a test" or "a time a boy breaks my heart" or "the time your boss is being a butt" or even-"
(She's caught up in the memory, so she doesn't notice how Yoichi flinches during her list.)
"Sounds like some pretty heavy reading for a six-year-old," he teases lightly.
"Oh, I didn't get my hands on the journal until I was older. I think there's nothing in the entire world I love more than that book."
He holds her tighter. "Your grandma sounds like an amazing person."
Reina smiles with teary eyes. "She was."
"I'm sorry Abbi." Reina sniffles. "I don't hate you. I'm sorry."
"Oh, mija, it's okay. It's okay." Her grandmother's gentle voice soothes over the phone. "People say things they don't mean when they're angry or hurt. I love you more than anything in the entire world, forever and no matter what. You always remember that, okay?"
"Okay," Reina hiccups.
" Nenita , do you know why I gave you your name?"
Reina shakes her head, before realizing that her grandmother can't see her over the phone. "Why, Abbi?"
"Reina means Queen . And do you know what a queen is? Strong, brave, independent, smart, beautiful, You are all that and more. You don't ever forget that okay? Even if you can't talk to me anymore, I'll be watching over you, cheering for you when you win, telling you to get back up when you fall."
Reina rubs her eyes. "J-just like Tito, right?"
"Sí mija, just like Tito. We'll both be watching over you, always."
"Barely a few weeks after she left me here, Sasaki-san contacted us to say she wouldn't be calling me anymore."
Yoichi flinches. "God, Reina. I'm so sorry."
"She didn't even die from her cancer. When I was older, Sasaki-san explained that her cancer caused a clot in her brain about a week after she left me here. It caused a stroke that wasn't fatal, but one that was bad enough that she was on life support for weeks before she passed away. She apparently had no brain activity after the stroke… So even though it wasn't quick, at least she didn't suffer, according to what Sasaki-san told me."
"…I'm glad that - no, not glad. I mean, I mean it's good she, umm, didn't suffer."
Reina can tell he's probably struggling with the 'right' words to say. She wonders how to convey to him that just him holding her and being here is enough.
("Is it really, princesa?" Her mother's voice taunts. "You're not disclosing the whole truth, of course he doesn't see your true wickedness yet. Tell him what you learned. Tell him that one of the biggest risk factors for developing a clot is long-distance flights. Tell him how you caused the death of the person who loved you most in the world. Tell him how she cared for you, and you poisoned her in return.)
"My Japanese still sucked at the time." Reina says instead. "The only times I could understand Otousama was when he spoke to me in English, same with my brothers. I was lucky that Otousama had already forced them to start learning English, even before they knew about me, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to speak to them properly for like an entire year. But even in those early days, we eventually managed to converse. Somehow, with our hodgepodge of half-English and half-Japanese, until I properly spoke Japanese."
"I can't even imagine those two as kids." The striker tries picturing a baby-faced version of Rin, but the attempt causes a system error. He gets as far as a stern-faced bobblehead atop a chibi body, repeating how lukewarm, while the over-sized head bobbles back and forth.
Yoichi immediately shakes away the offensive image. "What were they like when you were younger?"
"Sae-nissan was everything to me growing up." Reina's tone is warm, nostalgic.
When she doesn't continue, Yoichi raises a curious brow at her omission. "And Rin?"
Reina closes her eyes. She ponders on how to describe her and Rin, as their shared past flickers behind her eyes.
(A door slamming shut. "Since you came, my mom cries all the time.")
How does she put their tumultuous relationship into words?
(The stark white walls of a hospital. "You promised! You promised you would never tell anyone! How could you? Rin, you - you liar! I hate you!")
Two kids desperately competing against each other for Itoshi Sae's affection, and then mourning his absence together.
(Rin's furious glare. "You manipulative liar. Nii-chan would never choose you over me. He's my brother.")
How does Reina explain years of vicious screaming matches, but also moments of quiet companionship?
(A hesitant knock. "C-can you ask them to let me stay with you?")
Still, how many times have Rin and Reina hurt each other over the years?
(A friend who disappeared. "Reina-chan… do you really not know? What your brother did… what he told everyone…")
Yet, they'd also shared the same pain more than once. There's some psychological term for that, isn't there?
(Rin's flinch when she notices the large bruise marring his pale skin. "Otousama… d-did he?")
Oh, right: trauma-bonding. Rin who, like her, was never enough for their father.
( A warm shoulder and a steady back. "You're awake." )
Rin, who had saved her more than once, only to turn around and hurt her just as often.
(A bloodied lip. "What did you think would happen, huh? When you go around dressed like a fucking whore?!")
They're both guilty in their own ways, though. How many times had they caused each other's misery? How many times had they done so intentionally?
(Reina tucking away her vicious smile, before yelling just loudly enough. "Let go of me! Get off of me!")
What word could possibly describe the convoluted relationship between Itoshi Rin and Itoshi Reina?
(A windy day. "Shut up. You guys are the ones that can't keep up with his playmaking. You're are all just jealous because Rin-niisan's a genius and he's a thousand times better than any of you could ever even hope to be.")
How to explain the dynamic of two people who were as likely to kill each other as they were to kill for each other.
(A cold chair. "If you so much as breathe near her again, I will bash your fucking skull in.")
Reina steps too close to a landmine, so she detours, then tries to blink away the past.
("Rin you… you don't really mean that, right?")
Blink away the past? How stupid. The past is a permanent thing.
("Reina for once can you just… god, can you just stop dragging me into your shit?")
The evening wind whistles ominously as it curls around the trees in the park. Feeling a foreboding chill run down her spine, Reina clings closer to the warm boy who had coaxed her sniffling form back to the English garden.
"I think…that maybe…" Reina buries her face into a familiar shoulder, as she remembers how Rin had so viciously ripped out her heart, at the very moment when she finally - mistakenly - thought she had secured a place in his. "I think Rin is the only person in the whole world who I can hate and love in equal measure."
Reina tells Yoichi more pieces of her past, but the most important (most jagged, most fragile) piece stays cradled deep in her chest.
("How old are you?")
There had never been a choice when it came to disclosing that specific secret, though. Just her father's icy command and the looming threat of the consequence if she ever disobeyed. Counterproductively, if it hadn't been for her father's unrelenting, militant-like efforts to rewrite her past, perhaps time would have cast its fog and made her doubt her memories.
But Reina is not that stupid. (And hasn't it already been established? The past is permanent.)
After all, how many reasons exist for a man to so adamantly lie about the age of his daughter? To force her to relearn her new age with such aggressive precision, and even hide her true birth year from his own wife? What other reason could cause such a prideful man to become desperate enough to risk bribing immigration officials and forging legal documents?
The first time Reina met Yoichi, when she answered how old she was and told the truth, it wasn't a hint or mistake, but rather a calculated risk. She'd done a lot of things to hold his attention that afternoon – she'd placed her bag so the TU logo showed, alluded to the discord between her and her brothers, and gosh, she still flushes when she recalls her embarrassing attempts to flirt with him.
Truthfully, at that first meeting, she had said she was sixteen to help secure his attention. She knew he'd have the same curiosity anyone would upon finding out Rin and Reina were the same age but born from different mothers. Besides, the Reina from their first meeting knew she could always backtrack later with an excuse of 'rounding,' and then her slip-up would be forgotten. (She had run into a bit of a snag when she had to tell the truth to his parents too, but if it comes up again, she can just give the 'rounding' excuse to them as well.)*
So, Reina keeps lying and lets the world (and even herself) think she is fifteen years old.
The truth is that she donned that expensive bright red princess-style jacket when she was six, not five. She first flew on a plane when she was newly seven years old, not newly six. When she first met her brothers, it was after her first seventh birthday, but they can never know that. No one can.
Not Sae, not Rin, not Mina, not Yoichi - not anyone. Reina can never disclose the truth, because although Otousama had once promised to never lay a hand on her, if she ever shares this secret… her father might actually kill her.
She's known that morbid truth for a long time. Over the years she saw it clearly: how he smiled patiently at her the few times she was near him in public, but then how coldly he'd look at her otherwise. No matter how zealously she tried to impress him over the years, desperate to earn even a fraction of his affection and consideration – her father's gaze held only contempt when he looked at her. Perhaps Otousama had smiled when he first met her, but she learned quickly that smiles were not to be trusted. (A lesson she'd forgotten once in middle school, but never again afterwards.)
'Would he even care if I disappeared?'
How many times had that ominous question flitted across her mind as a child?
'Yes, but only until I'm twenty.'
That was the answer she repeatedly gave herself.
For years, she thought that if she left Japan at age nineteen (when she was truly twenty), that they could both use that loophole in the contract for him to leave her be. Reina planned to repay the debt she owed him for raising her by freeing him of the burden of her existence at the earliest opportunity. It was a well thought out plan: after early graduation she'd run across the sea to NIT on an academic scholarship, and then disappear from his view forever. She'd get her American citizenship back, claim both her true age and her old last name again, and finally escape her gilded cage masquerading as Itoshi manor.
It was, in her opinion, a fool-proof plan (even if it did involve her sleeping only four hours a night in order to maintain perfect grades, pursue her research, and maintain just enough application-padding extracurriculars to trick NIT reviewers into thinking she didn't spend her entire life studying). It was a goal that must have been sound, given it even had Sae-nii's stamp of approval.
Her planned escape was the light at the end of the tunnel… until what happened in April.
A phantom finger traces the skin at her neck, and she buries herself further into Yoichi, trying to escape its ghostly grip.
("Did you really think I'd let you run away, princess?")
The shackle around her wrist burns.
("Little girl, are you lost?")
She had an escape plan that was flawless, until her father was offered a more lucrative way for her to repay her debt to him.
Reina Libertad first read the Little Red Riding Hood when she was six, not five. But the truth is a weapon Itoshi Reina cannot even consider using against her father until the tracker around her wrist is gone. So instead of telling Yoichi the truth, she lies the same way she does to everyone, and proceeds to tell him about the rest of her past instead.
Hi friends! If you're reading, please consider leaving a review. Thoughts on Reina's past? Thoughts on what's been mentioned of her relationships with her brothers? Plot going too slow / too fast? Any manga readers with some rants on the latest rankings (I've certainly got my own :P ) Also, if you catch any errors/mistakes, please let me know! Thank you all for sticking with this story thus far!
Asterisk Notes
*"It starts with a scarf" - reference to the first line of this story. (I know, it's been a while.)
*Rounding – reference to when they first walked in Gyoen park on Saturday. She said she was sixteen when they met, but Isagi realized that would make her older than Rin since her birthday is in December. So at the park she says she is 15.9 – and she had just "rounded" up to 16.
Preview for the Next Chapter
And he warned her already, more than once, that if she ever told Abbi he was mean or said anything bad about him, that he would hide her somewhere where no one would ever find her again.
-/-
Reina has learned that Sae is the only person in this house that does not shrink when their father is in the room.
-/-
Since you came, my mom cries all the time. So why… Why did you have to come, huh? Why couldn't you have just stayed away?!
Responses to Reviews
Golden Wind God: Omg don't ever apologize, I'm just happy you are still reading! Her past is definitely horrible & traumatic (as well as the other Itoshi brothers too, though you'll learn more about them & their pasts in upcoming chapters). Ahhh best compliments ever I am blushing *insert blushing emoji here* I'm so happy their emotions are able to come through clearly! Thank YOU so much for reading and reviewing, it really keeps me going 3
chinolouis041: Ikr? Idk how many times I've literally yelled at fictional characters for their lack of communication in other manhwa/manga/anime/shows! But, unfortunately, Reina (and Isagi and the others) will continue to make decisions that get our blood boiling/ rolling our eyes in frustration. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!
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102602: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Isagi loves thighs: BL is one of the few manga where I totally lack the patience to hold off then binge read lol. I do it a lot for SPY X FAMILY now and some manhwas though. I was totally hoping for some Kurona commentary on Isagi and Hioris play too! (LIke how we got some Hiori commentary on Isagi&Co in prior chaps). I'm going to literally be starving until we get to PXG - like IDC ABOUT NESS's STORY GIMME PXG v BM ASAP PLS. I'm so excited to see Kiyora too - I'm curious as to if he'll be pro-Kaiser/anti-Isagi after what happened? I'm SO excited to see Shidou v. Kunigami, but given his ranking/bid, I'm curious as to if he was even playing during the PXG v Manshine game (and what that means for the BM game). Actually now that you mention it, as long as it doens't drag on too much, some slice of life cuteness between the teamates could be fun to read (the Kaisagi bit was gold, I cried from laughing so hard). LOL his yandere/possessive bits are peaking through! Hehe I can't write fluff without some dark/angst, I'm incapable of it anymore :P You'll learn more of the details on what Chisaki did in her upcoming "past" chapters! Hmmm I won't comment on your Rin/Reina prediction other than saying you're too smart ;P I STILL haven't brought myself to watch JJKS2 because I know I'll just be bawling - I'm in a Saints powers are omnipotent happy times anime mode rn lol :P Im so happy you liked Mina! I have so much fun writing Mina & Iyo trolling Reina & Isagi :P Thank YOU for always reading and reviewing, it is always so motivating for me 3 Also, OMG I DIDNT KNOW there were more LNs? I'm totally binging those over the holidays! I actually made Hiori in Onikko have a different past (see "onikko outakes" fic for details) since I saw someone on reddit post a Mulan-AU idea I just loved so I went with it. Omg I had to google dacryphilia, but yes, that's definitely on his kink list (but only when it's Reina hehehe)
FadedFreddie: I am PUMPED for PXG (Yoichi v Rin, Shidou v Kunigami, Loki v Noa, and ofc, our last chance for Kaiser v Isagi before U20!) DW it'll be a slow, insidous sort of dislike - like in all those rofan manhwas were you still root for FL/ML to be together even though the ML has some serious red flags. I'm glad that made him more relatable! I wanted to convey that not just Reina, but both she and him have lots of insecurities that come out in weird ways in their relationship. I'm also glad you like the voices! I sometimes worry they will make the story seem too "disjointed" when people are reading and am a whiner who needs constant reasurrance from my beta about the same lol. I hope you had a great halloween too, and that you enjoy this chapter too!
LucasXfun17: Oh that makes me so happy! Thank you for sticking it out with this fic despite my inconsistent posting schedule, it means a lot! I am also a sucker for those genres (as you can probably tell, lol!) Thank you SO much, I'm so flattered and smiling so wide while reading your comment! Hehe I only let them be happy for little bits before giving them angst obstacles, I'm an evil author like that. My caveman brain thinks the same way :P Please please write your own too, and then send me the link so I can enjoy it too! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too!
AnythingforGiorno: I'm so happy you liked Mina! I'm genuinely not a funny person so whenever I try to write humour I'm always so nervous at how it'll go over with readers. Ngl, I was also not an og todomomo fan (it's just one of the couples I commonly see paired together/grew accustomed to seeing in MHA fics, and started to like because of how they were written in fanon rather than how they were written in canon. Though honestly I came to also like tododeku as they were often a secondary ship in the kacchako fics I devoured. MHA shipping wars are hazards, I agreed that distance must be kept in order to keep your limbs, lol. I'm glad you liked the lit references! I studied some of them back in high school and college electives, but sometimes I straight up googled "shakespeare alcohol quote" lol. Same, same though - I like discussing them at like book club level, but not at the point where I'm analyzing every single word like in lit classes. Scarley Letter is still on my "to read" list since I know so many people have read it, but also since that movie with Emma Stone. I haven't heard of age of innocence though, i'll look into it! Also ngl in high school I would give the books a try, but if they were boring I totally sparknoted the summaries #efficiency Omg nw (as you can tell) I enjoy rambling and reading other people's rambles :P LOL setting Shidou on Chisaki is likely not going to happen, but you'll see some Sae being set on him ;) He's trash, but there will (at some point) be a few paragraphs in his POV explaining (not excusing) his dung-ness. You'll still get some more of Reina's past in her POVs, as well as in her brothers' POVs too. LOL that was straight up the first episode of GOT :P Even though you gave up on - I do strongly recommend it if you ever have the chance ;P Enji Itoshi is someone who's ending still hasn't been 100% decided yet. I'm waffling between him one day regretting his actions towards his kids (though they won't forgive him) versus him just being stubborn trash until the end. What do you think? I also genuinely liked the Ubers game! I feel like the games got progressively better and better in NEL, so PXG will be off the charts amazing. At least it's weekly, imagine if it was a monthly manga? I just might die #dramaticbuttrue. I hope you're doing well too! And OMG yes I am also a SPYXFAM fan - Anya owns my heart lol. Have you seen that reddit thread where they talk about how far Anya would go in Blue Lock? Hilarity on ice. I'm so happy you like the pics! They're like a fun little side project so I'm glad you're enjoying them! Thank you for reading and reviewing, I hope you enjoyed this chapter too 3 !