I sat there on my heels, tremblingly breathing the cold air. My heart kept racing, my hands wouldn't stop shaking. A high-pitched ringing filled my ears. There was a constant, painful pounding in my head that didn't seem to stop. My nose was stuffed with blood, which kept dripping down onto the ground. Everything hurt, especially my face. My vision kept blurring up if I didn't blink every two seconds. The parts of my body where I was punched in felt scorching hot, whilst the rest of my body felt very cold.

Except my back, which Ui was currently hugging.

I could hear her quietly crying against my back as she kept me in a tight hug. I looked down to see her arms wrapped around my body. She was squeezing me tightly, almost to the point where I had a hard time breathing. I then raised my trembling hands, looking at their shredded knuckles. I slowly brought them to Ui's arms, and grasped them. Just feeling her warmth was comforting. Ui kept crying against my back, whilst I just stayed quiet, holding her by the arms. We stayed like that for a short moment, until Tsukuda began struggling to get up. Alarmed, I flinched, but Ui kept me in place, not allowing me to stand up. Tsukuda turned his head to give us a quick look. I quietly glared back at him. But, to my surprise, he began crawling away from us. After traveling a meter, he slowly stood up, but quickly fell down again as he grunted in pain and held the aching side of his abdomen. He was left standing on one knee, crouched down.

It was quiet. Even Tsukuda's gang had quieted down. Tsukuda hacked, gargled, and spitted a crimson splatter on the ground. He kept peering around the rail yard, until he glanced at me.

"…So, that's it," he muttered. "I don't think I can stand up for a while. Can you?"

I frowned at him, as I wasn't feeling too talkative, and I definitely wasn't up for some casual conversation with someone I just tried to kill. Regardless, I ended up shrugging slightly.

"Yeah. But she won't let me."

Tsukuda grinned and laughed quietly, nodding. "Ah, I see…" He then grimaced out of pain as he hung his head low again.

He took many deep breaths, the last one exhaling out as a sigh.

"Guess you won, then."

It's hard to imagine someone like Tsukuda admitting defeat. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't experienced it once already. But he knows what he's doing, and he knows when to back down. One doesn't bounce back from a liver shot just like that, and he knows it.

Tsukuda wiped off the blood of his upper lip, and then shook it off his hand.

"…You know," he began. "My stepfather beat my mother to death when I was a kid."

Hm, what's all this, now? I didn't have any sympathy to spare at the moment. But the previous fight had drained all my strength, so I didn't bother to make him shut up either, so I had no other option but to listen.

"I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. I was too weak. Too fucking weak to protect the only person I ever cared about." He looked at his shredded knuckles, and chuckled. "And the best part? That bastard told me that himself as we were waiting for the cops to arrive. You think I'm bad? You should meet that drunk fuck, then you'll think I'm a fucking angel."

He sat down carefully, still holding his side. He raised one of his knees, wrapping his vacant arm around it.

"That son of a bitch didn't even get sentenced for murder, but for 'voluntary manslaughter'. I wouldn't see him hang, he wouldn't even get a life sentence. Just twenty years… My mother's life was worth twenty years to the judiciary. Ain't that a bitch, making a small kid lose his faith in the judicial system from the get-go."

A sad laughter followed, before he continued: "Anyway, I promised myself that the day that fucker gets free, I'd kill him. But I needed to be strong this time. So I started fighting people to get stronger. The gang forming around me was just a side effect… For a while I thought I was on top of the game, until I heard about you."

Though I still couldn't shed any sympathy for him, at least I began understanding his worldview. Loss of faith into authorities, and a reason to be violently angry… It's a story me and a few others are way too familiar with. I also think I finally understood why he saw me as a challenge worth pursuing or something like that. Not that he got even the slightest bit of respect from me, but still.

It was quiet again, save for Ui's quiet sniveling, which I couldn't help but listen to. I thought for a bit, and then glanced at Tsukuda from the corner of my eye.

"You always so open about yourself after fighting?"

Tsukuda snorted amusedly, and clicked his tongue. "No, not usually. Funny thing, really; your girl crying out your name, and pleading you to stop… It reminded me of myself back then. I haven't thought about it in a while, but now it just suddenly resurfaced in my head."

Silence fell once again. I kept sniffing up the blood in my nostrils, and could taste it in the back of my mouth. The corner of my eye felt weird, so I let go of Ui's arm for a short moment to check it, only to find blood dripping from an open wound. I wiped the hand on my jeans before grasping Ui's arm again.

"…So, you'll leave us be?" I asked after a moment of pondering.

Tsukuda didn't look at me, but he nodded. "…Sure, why not."

So that's that, then… I guess I should feel relieved or victorious or some shit like that, but honestly, I just felt tired. I wanted to get out of here, get myself patched up, and then just lie down.

I nodded to myself, muttering under my breath: "Then I guess we're out of here."

I tapped Ui's arms, and turned to look over my shoulder. "Ui. Let's go."

Ui didn't react right away. It took her a short moment to slowly unwrap her arms from around me. We began to stand up simultaneously, though for me it proved difficult, as my whole body was aching. Ui was quick to help me, grabbing me by my armpit and aiding me up on my feet. A sudden headache made me pinch my eyes shut. It took a second or two for the worst pain to end, and I opened my eyes again.

The first thing I saw was Tsukuda's gang marching towards us.

Gasping, I took a wary step back, accidentally bumping into Ui. Realizing her presence, I reached back, shielding her behind me. I slipped my hand into my back pocket right after, waiting to make my move. A dozen footsteps could be heard from behind me as my own group ran up to us, sensing the immediate danger. Both Tadaaki and Ichiro quickly appeared beside me.

Tsukuda's gang was spread wide as they walked, but one guy with a baseball bat seemed to be walking ahead of the rest.

"We won't fucking stand for this!" he shouted, resting the bat on his shoulder. "You think we'll just stand down to you lot!?"

Angry and nervous murmurs could be heard from my group.

"Now they've fucking done it…" Ichiro muttered.

Tadaaki shook his head nervously, and glanced at me. "Eiji, get Ui-san out of here."

I frowned. "And leave you to deal with this? Fat fucking chance."

"Yes, exactly. That's what we fucking agreed on, remember?" he retorted, having lost his usual coolness. "Besides, you ain't in any condition to fight."

Hate to admit it, but he was right. I could barely stand at the moment, and everything felt foggy. But I wasn't about to let these sons of bitches to get away with this. Luckily, I was prepared for something like this.

"Oh, don't you worry about me, Mr. Nishikawa," I said under my breath. To get my point across, I revealed the folding knife I had stashed in my back pocket just in case, and opened its blade.

Tadaaki eyed the blade, and raised his eyebrow at me. "…Stop acting tough, you ain't gonna cut anyone."

I shook my head. "I'm gonna cut the first person who tries to swing a bat at any of us, you can count on that."

"You're not," Tadaaki insisted.

I cocked my head. "You wanna bet on that?"

"E-Eiji-kun…"

I glanced over my shoulder, finding Ui staring at me with her watery eyes. She was shaking, she was scared. I reacted by hiding the knife out of her view, though I knew it did little to help at this point. I noticed Tadaaki, too, turning to look at her, and then at me.

"And her?" he asked.

I looked at the ground as I thought, and turned to look at Ui again. "Ui, get out of here."

But she didn't move. I waited for her to at least say something, but no, she was paralyzed.

Tadaaki sighed out of frustration. "I told her to not follow us, and yet she found her way here. I told her to get out of here, but she wouldn't go. She ain't leaving if you ain't leaving."

He then took me by surprise by grabbing me by the collar, and pulling me violently towards him. I was met with his annoyed eyes. I can't remember the last time I've seen him so angry. He was dead serious.

"So you better get the fuck out of here if you care about her. Got it?"

I was left staring in his eyes. I had no choice but to ponder my options. I agree with Tadaaki; getting Ui out of here should be the first priority, but if she won't leave without me, then it poses a problem. Will I really leave my friends to fend for themselves against a group like Tsukuda's? Can I live with the fact that I get to run while they can't, probably ever again? Then again, if I stayed, there's a possibility that I would just become a casualty amongst all the others. Once again, it boils down to the choice between Ui and my other friends. But Tadaaki's insisting that I'd get Ui to safety, and I agree with him, so maybe—

"H-Hey, hold up!" Ichiro's sudden yell cut off my thought process.

Tadaaki and I both snapped out of our personal discussion, and we turned to look ahead of us. Tsukuda stood there, right in front of me. At some point he must've gotten on his feet, and walked over to us. Before I even had time to react, he suddenly reached towards me, and snatched the knife out of my hand.

Tadaaki took an alarmed step forward. "Hey, woah, what the fuck!?"

Tsukuda paid him no mind though, instead addressing me: "Lemme just borrow this for a minute…" He waved the knife in his hand as he talked.

He then turned around, quickly hiding the knife behind his back, and began slowly walking towards the gang that was swiftly approaching us. He then stopped. So did the gang. A tense staredown ensued. Tadaaki and I were exchanging unsure glances.

"Did I tell you to move?" Tsukuda asked his gang. "I'm feeling a bit woozy now, so please remind me: at what fucking point did I tell you to move?"

The guy with a baseball bat frowned at Tsukuda, and jerked his head to the side. "Step aside, Tsukuda."

Tsukuda chuckled. "Alright, look… You ain't the guy to tell me do shit. Last time I checked, I was in charge."

The guy pulled the bat off his shoulder, letting its tip strike the ground. It emitted a loud, metallic clang. "Look at you, you can barely stand. So yes, I think I'm the guy right now. We're just gonna beat up that lot, then we can talk, okay?"

Tsukuda clicked his tongue, and took a step forward. "In case you're too fucking stupid to remember, Sugimoto and I had an agreement; if I lose, his lot would be left alone. And I lost. It's a simple one-plus-one equation. You starting to understand? Or did the winter weather freeze your last few brain cells?"

"So we're just supposed to stand down!?" the guy shouted out of anger. He banged the bat on the ground again. "No fucking way! Not now, not ever! A group of assholes plots to take us down, talks shit about us into our faces, beats up one of us, and we're just supposed to forget about it!?"

Rest of the gang shouted out agreeing statements. Meanwhile, I decided to take a small step back. I wanted to take another, but I couldn't – my stubborn nature wouldn't let me. A part of me wanted to stay here and fight, while another part kept banging on the inside of my skull, yelling at me to get Ui to safety. But there was also a third, smaller part, that was curious to find out how Tsukuda would handle this sudden insurgency.

I twitched when Ui suddenly grabbed my hand with both of hers.

"Eiji-kun!"

But I couldn't move. The small part of me just had to see this through.

I watched as Tsukuda took a limping step forward. "Let me remind you what I said just five minutes ago: no one steps over the line, no one intervenes."

The bat guy chuckled, spreading his vacant hand to the side. "What? You're planning to punish us all?" As he lowered his hand, the sarcastic smile was gone from his face. "Step the fuck aside."

"Step the fuck down, you," Tsukuda said, taking yet another step forward. He slapped himself on the chest. "You really think it's smart to question my orders? I'm the one in charge. Not a small-time punk bitch like you, who can't go anywhere without that aluminum dick extension of a bat."

It seemed to tick off the bat guy, as he too took a step forward, outright stomping. "You calling me a bitch!? You, who just lost a fight? For the past year, it's been nothing but threat this and threat that under your command. 'I'm in charge, 'cause I'm the strongest. You got a problem with that, then try to best me.' Well guess what, Tsukuda? You ain't the strongest no more!"

Approving murmurs could be heard from Tsukuda's gang. They soon turned aggressive sounding as Tsukuda's mortality was finally realized by even the stupidest of his cronies. All this time they must've endured his mental violence and physical punishments, and none of them have dared to put up against it. But now that the illusion of an immortal king of delinquents had worn off, many could finally say their piece. I'm sure some of them also had a bone to pick with him. And considering the condition he was in, he was an easy target. This was gonna get nasty.

The bat guy shook his head. "You know what? The hell does it matter, since the cops are gonna catch you sooner or later, anyway? From this point forward, you ain't the leader of this gang anymore."

He took a step forward.

"You're just a loudmouthed, angry little bitch. You're just another punk to beat up if you mess with us."

Then another step. He was getting awfully close to Tsukuda.

"So you better step the fuck aside right now, before we run over you. You ain't nothing no more. You're weak!"

And then he stopped.

…

"On second thought…"

He raised his bat, and readied his swinging position.

"…I think I'll do the honors."

"Eiji-kun!"

The moment the guy raised his bat, I was snapped out of the trance. I felt Ui pulling my hand, almost to the point that I fell on my back. I quickly turned around to face her, and was met with her terrified face. I opened my mouth, trying to say something, but quickly closed it, as I realized I didn't have time for this. I wrapped my arm around Ui's shoulders, turned her around, and prepared to lead us out of here.

But I came to a halt when a bloodcurdling scream broke through the tense atmosphere. By the sound, I could make a guess of what just happened. And as I did that, I was overcome by nausea in an instant. I kept Ui faced away, and turned to look over my shoulder.

Tsukuda had just stabbed the bat guy in the shoulder.

Everyone else – both my group and Tsukuda's gang – seemed to take many steps back in shock. Save for the bat guy's screams of agony, it was suddenly awfully quiet. I grimaced in pain as I saw Tsukuda pulling the knife out of the guy's shoulder, who immediately crashed down on one knee. He held his shoulder as he kept screaming.

The screams were overpowered by Tsukuda's manic laugh. He raised the knife, pointing it at the rest of his gang.

"So, who else feels like questioning my orders? Huh!?" He paused to laugh again. "I may be going down, but fuck me if I ain't taking a disobedient asshole or two with me!"

None of them moved, none even uttered a single word. Everyone just stood there in a state of shock and disbelief, probably not even fully realizing what just happened. I had a hard time taking it all in, too, but not to the point that I couldn't think straight. Did Tsukuda just…? No, he didn't do it for me. He did it for himself. That I'm sure of.

"…E-Eiji-kun? What… What happened?" Ui asked.

I saw as she tried to turn to look behind her, but I quickly moved her head back forward.

"Don't look."

Ui opened her mouth, probably wanting to ask something, but then slowly closed it. She then gave me a small nod. I'm not sure how Tsukuda would handle the aftermath of what he had just done, but I wasn't about to stay and find out. The small part of me had already satisfied its curiosity, and vanished. Now, more than ever, I wanted to get Ui to safety.

I began walking, leading her, but only a few steps later it became clear that I wasn't in the condition to lead anyone, as my legs almost gave in. Ui realized this quickly, and allowed me to use her as support as we continued making our way out of the rail yard. Only a few steps later someone else slipped under my vacant arm, and supported me from that side. It was Tadaaki. Judging by the many sounds of footsteps, the rest of our group had decided to make their leave, too. We moved swiftly, but still slow enough that I could keep up.

When we got to the main street, there was talk about us splitting up into smaller groups, but it was quickly shot down by Tadaaki, as the risk of Tsukuda's gang giving chase was still there. He managed to convince everyone to stick together until I had reached a safe place. Coincidentally, the nearest – and probably the safest – place was the Hirasawa residence, so that's where we headed. The group formed a wall around me to keep me hidden from the other pedestrians, because a beaten up guy would quickly arouse suspicion, and right now we didn't need any unnecessary attention.

From what I later learned, Tsukuda's gang dispersed quickly soon after we had left. Tsukuda was arrested later that day. Save for seeing his name in the newspaper, I haven't seen much of him since. I don't think I ever learned what exactly he's being charged with, but I'm sure he won't be getting out anytime soon. Him getting taken down also marked the end of his gang, as no one even attempted to rebuild it. The gang broke up into small groups of street punks, and soon was nothing but a small, ugly smudge in our town's criminal records. We had succeeded in our endeavors, but it ain't like we'd be hailed as heroes by anyone.

The walk to the Hirasawa residence seemed to last an eternity, and I was close to drifting out of consciousness at one point, but we eventually made it there, without anyone stopping us and asking why they're carrying a half-dead guy with them. After getting Tadaaki's permission, our group split up, each heading in different directions. Only Tadaaki and Ichiro stayed, but not for long though, as Ui told them that she would like to be alone with me. I'm sure they were worried about my wellbeing, but they still respected her request, and soon left us on our own.

…

"Turn your head the other way," Ui instructed me, and I complied, turning my head.

An unpleasant, stinging pain followed as Ui pressed an alcoholic wipe against the open wound in the corner of my eye. I had already gotten used to the stings, though, as Ui had been patching me up for the past ten minutes or so. She didn't even bother to say the usual 'this might sting a bit' mantra to me anymore. We were sitting on the living room's couch. An open first-aid kit was on the coffee table. Next to it on the floor was a trash can full of bloodied tissues. I was shirtless, as I needed to undress my upper part to allow Ui to patch me up completely. I was starting to feel chilly.

Actually, the whole Hirasawa residence felt colder than usual. The living room's lights were off, since the windows provided enough light to work with. But the snowfall dimmed the light just enough to make it seem gray. The homey atmosphere I've grown so used to was absent. It was like the soul of this place had died the moment I had limped in, blood and sweat dripping from my face. I had finally shown this place the face I tried to hide from its occupants. Guess it got so pissed off at me that it decided to revoke my right to call it my second home.

But on top of all that, Ui seemed awfully quiet and calm. She didn't ask me how I felt, she didn't say how worried she was… Hell, she didn't even hum like she usually does while working. She just stayed quiet, wearing a neutral expression, telling me where to turn and what limb to give her once in a while. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Did she finally grow tired of my shit, or is she just the 'work first, anything else second' type of person? I couldn't tell, and I was too tired to think about it any further.

After patting a band-aid on the wound, Ui pulled herself away from me, and puffed out a weary sigh. She stripped the latex gloves off her hands, discarding them in the trash can along with the bloodied tissues.

"…There, that should do it. Though I really think it could use some stitches."

I looked down at my hands, and inspected the bandage wrapped around the knuckles. "…So, all done?"

Ui nodded. "Yes, just about, I think."

I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. Her expression hadn't changed. It bothered me.

"Hm…" I uttered as I thought. "Where did you learn to patch people up?"

She cocked her head ever so slightly. "I've taken a few optional first-aid classes at school."

"Ah, I see," I nodded, and turned to face her. "You planning to become a nurse or something?"

Ui looked up whilst thinking. Then her eyes returned back to me, and she shrugged. "Maybe, I haven't given it much thought yet."

Still no significant change in expression, huh…

I forced a small smile. "You should look into it. You'd be a natural as a nurse. Hell, why not aim higher and become a doctor, or maybe—"

"Eiji-kun."

A stern voice made me shut my mouth in an instant. The fake smile also vanished. Ui's expression had finally changed; she was now frowning. She looked serious.

"Don't…" she began.

Her eyebrows began twitching as she tried to keep the forced expression on, and soon burrowed in a worrying manner.

"…Don't change the subject."

Yeah, she got me there. But that wasn't the only thing I was trying to do: I also tried to make a dent in that neutral expression of hers, as it made me feel strangely uneasy. Though her frowning at me or being worried about me were far from my favorite expressions from Ui, at least they were something. At least I could figure out how she felt and guess what she was thinking.

I stared down at my hands, and nodded. "Alright."

Silence followed. Even the ambient sounds of the house weren't enough to fill it. I felt like saying something, but I didn't even know where to start. I wanted to run, and I actually might've done it if my body wasn't so worn out. I've never been this scared and nervous in my life. Anxiety began to creep in, and I tried my best to fight it. After an awfully long moment of sitting in silence, I raised my head to look at Ui, only to find her hanging her head low. She looked sad. Sad, tired, and disappointed.

"Eiji-kun…" Ui finally muttered, breaking the silence. She raised her head to look at me with her concerned eyes. "I… I don't know what to say."

Straight to business, huh… There's no avoiding it. As much as I wanted to run, I needed to face the music. What just happened today isn't something either of us can just keep quiet about. What I did today definitely left a mark. It's not something one can shrug off and move on. I carefully felt the bruises on my arm. They hurt, and some of them had started to turn blue. Ignoring the pain, I rubbed the arm.

"Well, I'll ask first, then," I said, and glanced at her. "Tadaaki stayed behind to make sure you didn't follow me. So how the hell did you end up at the rail yard?"

I hadn't given it much thought before now. A part of me wanted to blame Tadaaki, but I knew it wasn't that simple. I knew he wouldn't let Ui follow me on purpose. Ui rubbed her hands together for a short moment, before occupying them by packing away the stuff back into the first-aid kit. At the same time, she talked.

"…Well, when those hooligans arrived at our school, of course we all packed at the windows to see what was going on. And then, you and your friends arrived, too. And when I saw the way you approached those other hooligans, I just knew something bad was about to happen. My first instinct was to open the window and yell out at you, but Tamiko and the others didn't let me. But the window was left open, so I could hear some of your conversation. You said something about a rail yard and the shopping district, so…"

She slammed the first-aid kit shut as she was nearing the end of her sentence, and never finished it. She was just left staring at the kit, her hands pressed against it. It took her some seconds to pull away from it, and straighten her posture. She then decided to continue.

"So, when nobody was looking, I… slipped out. I was just… so, so, so worried about you. I was scared of what might happen to you…. So scared."

She shook her head vigorously as her brows furrowed even further. Small droplets of tears flew out of her eyes as she did that.

"Eiji-kun, I've never been more scared in my entire life! Why did you do something so stupid!? Why did you put yourself in danger like that!? Why, Eiji-kun!?"

She didn't try to hold it in anymore; she poured herself out at me. She asked me these difficult questions with tears in her eyes. I've never seen her act like this before, but then again, she's never seen me in this condition either. It must've been a huge shock to her. I can't even begin to guess how she must've felt. I know I can't undermine this issue, so I need to approach it very, very carefully. But I couldn't figure out where to start, what to say, and how to say it. I was fucked.

I clenched my aching fists whilst trying to figure a way out of this shitty mess. "…Um, it's actually a pretty complicated story. You see, this guy, Tsukuda, he—"

"Yes, I know," she cut me off. "He hurt you and your friends. Tadaaki-san told me."

She then leaned towards me, causing me to back away ever so slightly. "But that still doesn't justify violence!"

I pursed my lips nervously, before sighing. "Violence is all I know…"

Ui shook her head. "No, it's not! Not for the Eiji-kun I know. Not for the Eiji-kun I love."

Her words, they seeped straight into my heart. It hurt me, more than the bruises did. And the pain brings anger with it, as I got frustrated.

"Well maybe I'm not that Eiji-kun," I muttered. "Maybe that Eiji-kun never even existed. Maybe it was all a farce. One, big act."

I completely forgot about the careful approach, instead saying my piece. Not that I wished to offend Ui or anything, it was mostly just me thinking out loud.

I frowned as I clasped my hands together, rubbing them gently, feeling the bruises on them. "Or that's how it feels to me, at least. Ain't no way someone like me can mend his ways just like that. When you learn that the easiest way to shut someone up is to punch them, it's hard to forget. Sure, I mean, I tried. I tried to change. Hell, I thought I had changed."

I raised my gaze, and looked at the snowfall outside the balcony window. "…But then the world decided that I wasn't worth a carefree life. It threw me right back at all that shit I tried to get away from. It's a fucking curse."

"Eiji-kun," Ui called for me. "I don't believe that. I don't believe that you can't change, because I've seen it myself. I've seen you grow and mature. There's no curses, there's only your own decisions. And when you decided to get revenge, you chose wrong."

I felt my eyebrow twitching.

"Then what the fuck was I supposed to do!?" I snapped, spreading my hands. "A motherfucker puts my friend in the hospital, and I'm just supposed to forgive and forget!?"

Ui tried her best to stay calm, and not let my frustration get the best of her. "Inform the authorities, of course. What else?"

I shook my head. "Nuh-uh, no way. I don't talk to the cops. And even if I did, what do you think would've happened? Tsukuda would've just gotten a slap on the wrist, maybe two months in juvie at best. After that? He'd be back on the streets, not having learned a single thing. No, he'd just be angrier, and probably looking for the person who snitched on him. There's no fucking justice in that."

"But you can't just take justice in your own hands!" Ui insisted.

"The hell I can't," I continued my arguing. "If some son of a bitch hurts my friends, he's gonna get hurt himself. Why is that so wrong to you?"

Ui frowned slightly. "If you're defending yourself or someone close to you, then I can understand the use of violence. But revenge? It's not about defending anymore. At that moment, you become as bad as the person who hurt you."

"Oh, save that crap for someone else," I said under my breath. "I don't care whether I'm bad or not. The only thing I care about is people getting what's coming for them. And Tsukuda definitely got what he deserved."

Ui finally had enough, as she slammed her hands down on her thighs and snapped at me: "Can't you see the consequences of your actions!? Don't you remember what almost happened!? All those others almost attacked you!"

"So what!? We were prepared for that, that's why there were so many of us! We would've been just fine!" I retorted. "The only thing we weren't prepared for was you. Actually, you're the one spouting stuff about me putting myself in danger, so why the hell did you put yourself in danger!?"

"Because I was worried about you!" Ui yelled back. "I was worried about what might happen to the person I've grown to love! I wanted to stop you from getting hurt!"

"And you didn't think how I would feel when the person I've grown to love puts herself in danger like that?" I asked, pointing at myself. "I've gotten into fights all my life. I don't care if I get hurt, but if something would've happened to you, I'd never be able to forgive myself! That's why I kept this whole thing a secret from you – I wanted to keep you as far away from it as possible!"

Until Tsukuda somehow found out what we were planning, and somehow found out who Ui is and where she goes to school at… No amount of aces in sleeves could've prepared us for that kind of wildcard. I was grinding my teeth out of annoyance, but stopped as I heard Ui sniffling. She was close to crying, but guess her frustration towards my shit had grown so large that it overpowered her sadness.

"Eiji-kun," she called for me in a stern voice. "When you're hurt, I feel hurt too. When someone hits you, it hurts me too. So if you don't want me to get hurt, you shouldn't put yourself in danger either!"

I understood what she meant, I couldn't agree more with her words, but it still conflicts with my own personal desires.

"It's my decision if I want to put myself in danger. It doesn't concern you, nor anybody else," I said.

Ui shook her head. "No, it most definitely concerns me, and everybody else who cares about you."

I pinched my eyes shut as I blew out a sigh of frustration. "Which is exactly why I tried to keep you in the dark about this."

I heard Ui dragging herself closer to me, and saw as she leaned forward to make eye contact with me. She looked disappointed.

"You lied to me, Eiji-kun."

I raised an eyebrow. "No, I did not."

Ui shook her head. "Yes, you did. By not telling me about it, you technically also lied."

As much as I wanted to break eye contact, I just couldn't. I had to face her if I wanted to be honest with her.

"Then what was I to do? Hey, Ui. The guys and I are preparing to exact revenge on that fucker who put my friend in the hospital. I've already made my decision, and you can't talk me out of it. Just wanted to let you know... Would that have been any better?" I asked, my tone being a mixture of sarcasm and frustration.

"It still would've been far better than keeping quiet about it," Ui opined.

A short moment of silence followed as we kept staring each other in the eye. Ui then broke eye contact by directing her gaze towards the floor in a difficult manner.

"But…" she muttered. "I know you lied about one other thing. About what happened on New Year."

Ah… Of course. Of course she had figured it out. She's far from stupid. Naïve and innocent, maybe, but not stupid. In response, I turned my head away in shame, scratching my cheek.

"Yeah… The bruise and all. It wasn't the guys and I messing around, it was—"

"I'm not talking about that," Ui suddenly cut me off.

Surprised, I turned back to look at her. She was still hanging her head low, looking at the floor. She was rubbing her hands together nervously. Wait, if it's not about that, then what is she talking about?

Ui opened her mouth, but it took awfully long for her to finally speak: "…I'm talking about the knife."

…Oh.

"You told me that it was just a stupid idea you came up with on a whim. You told me that you could never bring yourself to actually use it. But… what I saw today…"

Ah, shit… Yeah, I just… I just pulled out the knife, and boasted about how I was prepared to use it. And Ui was standing right behind me. She saw and heard everything. There wasn't a lie I could tell to save myself from this situation. Ui didn't finish her sentence, instead sniffling whilst drawing sharp breaths. The sight of it left me speechless. I wanted to comfort her, until I remember that I was the reason for why she's currently in that state. God, why must I fuck everything up!?

She brought a thumb to her eye to wipe off a tear. "You… You were so enraged, I didn't even recognize you. You were someone else. And I was so scared, because I didn't know what to do…"

I felt ashamed. I had shown her my ugliest side, the side I never wanted her to see. She had caught me in the moment where I definitely didn't want her to see me.

She sniffed and straightened her posture whilst trying to regain her composure. "I… I still don't believe in what you just said; about you not being able to change, and about it all being an act, but… just for that single second…"

She quickly gave up on trying to keep it together, instead facing me, and allowing me to see all the sorrow in her eyes. They had turned red from crying, yet she still had one more tear to shed. It slowly rolled down her cheek, and somewhere within it, I could see my sorry reflection staring back at it.

"…I couldn't see the Eiji-kun I fell in love with."

My heart sank, I was close to panicking. Wasn't there anything I could say to fix this? Anything I could do to undo the damage? No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that this was nothing more but a really, really bad nightmare, the pounding in my head and the pain resonating from my stinging wounds were a constant reminder that this was real.

I was really here. I was really having this discussion with the person who should've never even known about this. The person who I love the most, who's forgiven all of my past sins, who's been nothing but kind to me for the whole time I've known her…

…is really questioning her love for me.

"…So," she said under her breath in a barely audible voice as she turned away from me. "I… I just don't know what to do…"

I guess I didn't know either, as I couldn't come up with an answer. I just sat there, silent, staring at the balcony door. I was in shock, I was paralyzed. I tried to think of what just happened, but my mind kept returning errors. It was like my brain refused to even process the whole situation, probably in a desperate attempt to prevent me from experiencing a total meltdown. The sound of my own heartbeats filled my ears, and I subconsciously counted them, as I desperately tried to occupy my head with at least something, or else I might pass out.

Moments passed. Neither of us said anything. Neither of us had the heart to voice the obvious. At some point, Ui stopped crying. She didn't even sniffle anymore, she was completely quiet. Though my eyes kept drifting around the living room like crazy, I just didn't have the courage to look at her. I just kept peering at her blurry silhouette from the edge of my vision, waiting— wishing for it to move. In my head, I was constantly pleading for her to finally tell me that what I did was wrong, that I should've done otherwise, that she was worried about me. I wished that – for the first time – she'd call me an idiot. I wished that she'd pour herself out at me, I wish that she'd yell at me, maybe even slap me. I wanted her to be angry at me, and then for that anger to finally calm down as she admitted that she was grateful that I was okay.

And most importantly… I wished that she'd forgive me.

But she just sat there, quiet.

Not wanting to beg for the moon any longer, I got lost into the silence.

…

The sound of the front door opening woke me up from my thoughts. It took me by surprise, but my only reaction to it was just raising my head ever so slightly. I heard someone kicking their shoes off, and making their way up the stairs to the living room.

"Ui!" a familiar voice emanated from the stairway. "Are you here?"

As the person – Yui – finally reached the second floor, she must've noticed us on the couch, and took a few hurried steps towards us.

"Ui! Eiji-kun!" she yelled out, sounding excited, maybe even a bit relieved.

But then the steps stopped, followed by a barely audible "Oh…"

She must've seen my bruised face. She must've noticed the heavy silence wrapped around our expressionless bodies. Yui's silly, but she's not stupid – she probably managed to read the mood in an instant. Which is probably why she stopped, and fell quiet. I kinda wanted to turn to look at her, to see her face and what she makes out of this whole situation, but I didn't have the strength to do it. But her silence, it was unusual. That was enough for me to figure out that she must be feeling difficult.

It took a while before she talked again: "Um… Ui, I brought your bag, shoes and other stuff from school…"

Ui didn't answer. Yui waited for her to do so, but it was in vain – she was just wasting her time. She seemed to realize this after an awfully long moment of silence.

Yui cleared her throat nervously, and I could hear her setting something down. "I'll… I'll just leave them here, then…"

She waited again, probably hoping for either one of us to at least acknowledge her presence. But that acknowledgement wasn't coming. She must've realized this quickly, as she didn't wait for long, and I could hear her slowly making her way back towards the stairs.

"Um, I think I'll be going now, I'll be over at Ricchan's place to study. Call me if you need anything, okay, Ui?"

At that moment I could see slight movement from the edge of my vision as Ui raised her head, and looked over her shoulder towards her sister. Carefully, I turned my head just enough to see her clearly. U wasn't looking blue anymore; she was now wearing her usual warm smile on her face. Or at least that's how it seemed.

"Sure," she nodded. "Be sure to be back by dinner time."

But I could see through it clearly: it was a fake one, probably to comfort her sister. I'm not sure if Yui bought it, as I still couldn't see her.

"…Alright. I'm off, then," Yui said, and right after I could hear her walking down the stairs.

Yeah, no; that single second of silence… She definitely noticed something was off.

After we heard the front door closing, we both were back at sitting in silence. Though, that didn't last long, as Ui turned to look at me. Since I was already looking in her direction, it was too late for me to turn my head away. So, I might as well face her completely. Yui's sudden appearance had helped us break this stalemate that had lasted for who knows how long.

"Eiji-kun…" Ui addressed me quietly.

Just the tone of her voice got me afraid. Like a small child, I thought that if I didn't answer, she wouldn't say what she had to say, I was that desperate. But I quickly realized how stupid it was. This wasn't something I could run away from, even though both my mind and my body felt like doing so.

I swallowed nervously. "Yeah?"

She stared into my eyes, her own shaped in the form of seriousness, but within them I could see the gloom of sadness. Every second she was silent felt like an hour to me. Just say it already… Just say it.

"I…" she began, but fell quiet as she lost her voice.

She pinched her eyes shut for a second, cleared her throat, and tried again.

"…I… I think I need some time to think. So… maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while."

…

There it was. She said it.

I knew she'd reach this conclusion. But I just didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to accept it. Because I knew it would hurt like hell, and it did. I felt a painful pinch in my chest, I felt light-headed. A stinging shiver ran down my spine as I kept staring at her, her previous sentence echoing inside my skull until it turned into a low mumbling. There were so many things I wanted to do, so many things I wanted to say. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, I wanted to plead for her to reconsider.

…But what's the fucking point.

I've wronged her one time too many. I've lied to her one time too many. She had to put herself in danger because of me. She saw things she never deserved to see. She… saw who I truly am:

A no-good delinquent.

…

So maybe she deserves a moment to think. A moment to reconsider if I'm someone she should care and worry about. A moment to weigh what she has to gain, and what she has to lose. A moment to study this new side of me she just saw, and ponder if it's something she'd want to have as a part of her life… A moment to think if she should love me. But no matter how much I tried to see the reason in her decision, it always came to me feeling betrayed, feeling like I was being treated unfairly. I couldn't help but be selfish.

An unintentional, sad chuckle escaped my lips. "…So that's it, then?"

With a long blink, Ui slowly turned away from me. She pressed her hands down on her knees as she stared at the floor tensely. She then shook her head.

"D-Don't get me wrong; we're not breaking up. And I still love you. But…"

…But you're not sure if you love me as a partner anymore, that's probably what you want to say. I can't blame you for not having the heart to finish the sentence. Don't worry, I understand. You're too gentle and kind to say something like that. That's exactly why I fell in love with you. And that's exactly why this whole conversation hurts me so much.

That's only a part of what I wanted to say to her, but I just couldn't do it. But I had to say something, or she'd feel too guilty. I had to show her that I understood her, and was willing to go through with this. Not that I actually was. I didn't want this, I didn't want any of this, I was constantly hoping to wake up from this nightmare, I was close to snapping, but I had to keep myself together for her sake. Throwing a tantrum was no use at this point, no matter how much I felt like doing so.

So, I nodded. "…Yeah, I get it. I think you're right."

I thought for a bit more, until I came up with something. At first it was supposed to be just an excuse to make her feel not so guilty about herself, but I slowly realized that it was an actual concern. I sighed as I prepared to say it.

"Actually, maybe a break is in order right now," I muttered as I reached to scratch my ear. "Not just for that reason, but also because of what just happened. I'm, uh, afraid there might be a fallout of sorts: Some of Tsukuda's guys didn't seem too happy, you see."

I glanced at her to see if she was listening. And she was, having turned to look at me, concern in her eyes.

I then turned my gaze to the side as I continued: "So… maybe we indeed should keep apart for a little while. If something happens, I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire."

Ui cocked her head worryingly as she leaned closer to me. "Eiji-kun…"

I raised my hand and shook my head "Nah, nah, don't worry, I'm just speculating and being careful, that's all. I'll stick close to Tadaaki and Ichiro just in case."

I'm not sure how convincing I was, but Ui eventually pulled herself away from me. Hell, I didn't want to add stuff into her 'to-worry' list, but the forementioned thing is something I really should look out for. I also didn't want to lie to her anymore. For once, I wanted to be honest, just lay out the facts as they are. And the fact is that there's a chance that I'd get jumped in the near future. Sure, my rational side told me that it's something I should be worried about, but I just couldn't bring myself to care about it that much. Shit, I'd take a beating any day— hell, everyday compared to this situation I had found myself in.

…

It was quiet again. Ui didn't look so tense anymore. Now she just looked… tired. She said what she wanted to say, and it took its toll on her. Actually, I'm not sure if she wanted me to agree with her in the first place. I didn't want to, of course, but just as I said, she's deserved a chance to think things over. Personally, I wish she could just forget about it, but that's a far-fetched hope. Countless thoughts were racing in my head as I contemplated whether I should take back everything I just said and beg her to forgive me. Because this was something I didn't want to lose. It was something that's gotten me out of bed in the mornings. It was something I previously could've never even dreamed of… Was I willing to throw it all away without a fight?

…But, I already did. I threw it away for a fight.

…

So, in the end, I guess I didn't have much to say anymore. What's done is done, there was no going back, no turning back the time. No save file to reload, no waking up and realizing it was all just a dream. I just wanted to forget about the whole thing. I was tired of even thinking about it. Hell, I was tired anyway. My whole body ached, and I felt a bit woozy. I wanted to go home, lie down, and sleep for a week. So, I guess I better get out of here. Hm, can't remember the last time I was this eager to leave the Hirasawa residence…

I slowly stood up. It proved to be difficult, as my whole body hurt, and all the joints in my legs cried in agony as I got on my feet. I grabbed my blood-stained t-shirt from the coffee table, and put it on. Next I grabbed my hoodie, throwing it on my shoulders. I reached down to zip it up, only for the zipper to break clean in half. I stared at the one half I was holding as I heard the other one dropping on the floor with a metallic cling. With a frustrated sigh, I decided to throw that one away, too. Yeah, this hoodie took one too many beatings… Double-checking to make sure that I had everything with me (for a second I was wondering where my knife was, until I suddenly recalled why I didn't have it with me), I turned towards the stairs.

"…Are you leaving?" Ui asked.

Don't talk to me.

I turned to look at her, finding her looking back at me. I nodded.

"Yeah."

She gave me a concerned look. "You don't have to, you can stay here until you feel better," she offered.

Don't talk to me.

"It's fine, I'm good enough to walk," I muttered. "I just wanna go home."

I continued walking to the stairs, and began climbing them down. I held my hand against the wall to support myself, as my legs still felt a bit unsteady. Just as I got to the bottom, I heard Ui hurrying after me. She soon poked her head into the stairway

"Are you sure you're okay? I could walk you there," she said from top of the stairs

Don't talk to me…

I gave her a quick look, before facing forward again. I reached into the closet, and grabbed my coat. I threw it around my shoulders, and zipped it up, which is something I don't usually do for fashion reasons, but seeing as my hoodie's zipper is broken, I don't have other options.

"No need to bother," I answered, and lowered my voice. "I wanna be alone right now…"

I moved further into the foyer to get my shoes. As I sat down to put them on, I heard Ui walking the stairs down. I stopped what I was doing, and looked over my shoulder. She was standing right behind me. We spent the next few seconds looking each other in the eye, until I broke eye contact with a long blink, accompanied by a sigh.

"Look…" I muttered as I finished putting my shoes on, and stood up. "I'm fine, I've had worse. I can make it home on my own. So you can just stop worrying, okay?"

I don't know why I even bothered, since I, if anyone, knew that Ui would never stop worrying. Maybe it was just my frustration speaking, as I really wanted to be left alone right now.

Ui rubbed her hands together as she kept looking at me with those worried eyes of hers. It was obvious that she didn't want to leave me just yet. I wasn't sure if it was because of my condition or what. A part of me tried to keep alive the hope of her not actually meaning what she said earlier and speculating that she was gathering the courage to take it all back, but that was a long shot. Still, I ended up standing there for a short moment, waiting for her to say something. After a while, I told myself that the longer I stay here, the harder it'll be for me to leave. And the harder it is for me to leave, the harder it'll be for me to accept what Ui said to me. Thus why I finally turned towards the door, grasped the handle, and opened it.

"…Eiji-kun."

Don't…

Door being barely ajar, I halted. I turned to look at Ui, who was looking back at me nervously, maybe even a bit sadly.

"Please don't be angry about this…" she pleaded.

…

…You just had to go and talk to me.

I stared at her, my face void of expression. I could feel the frustration building up inside me. I should just leave, I really should leave right now…

"How the hell could I not be?" I muttered.

…But I just had to pour myself out. As much as I tried to act supportive, as much as I tried to convince myself that I agreed with her, I still was fucking pissed subconsciously. That anger had kept bottling up, and I could feel it about to boil over, which was exactly why I tried to make a swift leave and ignore anything Ui had to say.

I pulled the door close as I turned to face Ui.

"Just today, I've seen my life flash before my eyes one too many times. I had to talk a group of hard-headed violent motherfuckers into leaving your school grounds. I almost got my fucking skull driven in. I almost got lynched by a group armed with sticks and bats. And now, the girl who I love the most is saying that she doesn't love me anymore."

I could feel my heart racing as I punched myself in the chest furiously.

"So yes, I am feeling angry, and I'm pretty damn sure I deserve to feel that way! So ex-fucking-cuse me if I can't be a bit more understanding!"

Ui was taken aback, startled by my yelling.

"E-Eiji-kun, that's not true! I still love you, but—"

"Bullshit!" I cut her off with an angry shout. "You keep spouting that crap, but fat fucking chance you actually mean it! Yeah, I get it, I'm a violent piece of shit, a fucking joke of a human being, but could you please not insult my intelligence with that shit!?"

Ui shook her head. Her alarmed eyes were filled with disbelief as she tried to make sense of my outburst.

"N-No, Eiji-kun, that's not what I—"

"Of course it is!" I once again cut her off, and made vague movements with my hand as I continued with my angry rambling. "You don't love me, because you found out who I am – a violent delinquent! Is that why you can't say it? Because you're scared of me? You think I'm gonna do something to you? Huh!? Is that it!?"

Ui clenched her fists, shouting: "O-Of course not!" My mindless shouting was starting to get the best of her, as even she was close to losing her temper. She backed away ever so slightly as I brought my hand forward, and pointed at her with my shaking finger.

"Then say it! Just fucking say it!"

"If I'd say it, it'd be a lie!" Ui retorted loudly. "Why can't you believe me, Eiji-kun?"

I clenched my jaw in preparation for another yell. "Because—!"

But I stopped, as I couldn't even figure out an answer myself.

…Because what…?

Like waking up from a dream, I finally realized what I was doing. I finally saw all the unease in Ui's eyes. I saw how she had taken distance from me. I saw how her hands were trembling. Then, I realized to look down at my hand, shaped into an accusing finger, pointed directly at her. I noticed how heavily I was breathing, I realized just how angry I was. Angry at what? Angry at who? My mouth ajar, I was left contemplating the situation.

…Just what the fuck am I doing?

I found the both of us standing in silence. It wasn't a tense one, but a blue kind. Hearing only my own heavy breathing, I kept looking in Ui's direction, but couldn't focus on her. Making vague movements with my lips, I opened my mouth. I drew breath to speak, but no words came out. I tried again. And again. But the only thing I managed to do was to make it look like I was hyperventilating. Finally giving up, I just pressed my chin against my chest.

"…Damn it…" I muttered under my breath.

I turned around, opening the door again. "Just damn it all… Fuck!"

With one last curse, I quickly stepped outside, slamming the door shut behind me. A huffy sigh blowing out through my teeth, I immediately began walking off the Hirasawa property at a fast pace, but quickly stopped, grunting in agony as a stinging pain resonated from my legs' joints. Taking a trembling breath to prepare myself for the pain, I resumed walking, this time at a much calmer pace. When I got to the street and made a turn, I gave the Hirasawa residence a repentant side-eye, before facing forward again and heading off.

The whole walk home, my mind felt foggy. I couldn't concentrate on any of the thousands of thoughts racing inside my head. It was like I had been awake for a week and woken up from a week-long slumber at the same time, I can't quite explain it. I guess my mind just… gave up. No emotions, no thinking… nothing. At some point, the pain resonating from my legs became just another smothered feeling. I also stopped turning my head away whenever I noticed a passerby giving my bruised face a confused look. I just wanted to get home, I just didn't care anymore…

…No, that was a lie. My slow pace wasn't just my messed up legs; in the back of my consciousness, I – as if in secret from myself – was hoping for Ui to come running after me. But why would she? I had given her every reason not to. Whatever small lingering feelings she had for me, I probably scared them away. I… I really just snapped at her, didn't I? I cursed at her, I accused her of lying to me. And she was just so… so god damn scared. What the hell got into me? Shit, why couldn't I have kept calm, and vented my frustration only after leaving there? I could've punched a streetlight, or fucked up a nearby car, or something. Literally anything else would've been better than what I just did. Why couldn't I just have apologized, and—?

…

Wait… Why couldn't I just have apologized?

Indeed, why couldn't I… Why the fuck didn't such a simple thought never cross my mind? I mean, earlier today, just before I entered the fight with Tsukuda, I was about to tell Ichiro that if I went down, he should tell Ui that I was sorry. Because I was sorry. And I am sorry now.

…So… why? Why did I forget about it? Did Tsukuda give me brain damage or what? I just don't understand…

...

After a long moment, which felt like purgatory, I finally got home. No car in the driveway meant no parents to question me about my bandaged face, which suited me just fine. I opened the door, stepped into the foyer, and closed it. Not aware of my surroundings, I accidentally kicked a shoe as I was taking my own shoes off. I looked down, noticing two pairs of shoes not belonging to our family. I didn't give it much thought, though, instead just stepping forward and stripping off my coat.

"Eiji-chan?" a call could be heard from the living room.

I didn't bother to answer. I dropped my coat on the floor, and walked towards the stairs. My path, however, was quickly blocked by Tamiko, as she appeared from behind the corner.

"Eiji-cha—!" she was about to say, but fell silent the second she laid her eyes on me. The horrified expression on her face soon changed into a concerned one. "…Eiji-chan? What… What happened?"

I peered at her with my tired eyes. I brought my hand up to scratch my head, and snorted. A small, sad smile spread across my face.

"I won."

Without caring to explain myself any further, I moved past her towards the stairs. But my walking was once again interrupted, this time by a shocked yell coming from the living room.

"H-Holy crap, Eiji-kun!"

I turned to face the voice, finding a very alarmed Jun. Just a second ago she had been sitting at the kotatsun, but had stood up the moment she saw me. She raised her hands to the chest level as her eyebrows rose in worry. I wasn't sure if she had anything else to add, as the other girl around the kotatsun – Azusa – stood up too. She quickly faced me, equally as alarmed as Jun, but for a different reason.

"U-Ui! Is Ui okay?"

I gave her a swift look, before heading for the stairs. "Ask her yourself," I muttered, lowering my foot on the first step.

"W-Wha—?" she muttered confusedly, but quickly fired up. "What do you mean!? I asked you if she was okay, and—!"

"Shut!" I silenced her with a loud, angry shout, before taking a breath, and lowering my voice. "…your fucking mouth…"

I held on to the railing, squeezing it so hard my fingers turned white whilst trying my best to calm down. I pursed my lips tensely before turning to look at her. She was staring back at me, stunned, and maybe a bit frightened.

"…please," I finished my sentence in a sad tone.

I was way too tired to deal with this shit right now. I'm sure Azusa understood it, too, or at least she didn't try to press on the subject any further, instead staying quiet. Facing back forward, I slowly continued up the stairs, my legs feeling like giving up with every step I took. None of the girls bothered to yell after me, and I honestly couldn't have asked for more. I navigated through the second floor's hallway to my room, dragging myself against the wall. I slipped into my dark room, closed the door, and was left leaning against it as I was catching my breath. Pushing myself away from it, I took a few striding steps towards my bed, and as I finally reached it, I collapsed right into it face-down.

I listened to the silence of my room. I felt tired, but I don't think I could fall asleep anytime soon. I had my face buried in the pillow for a while longer, until I started running out of air, so I flipped around on my back, and, with a tired grunt, sat up. I swept my fingers through my messy hair, staring at the darkness with ajar eyes.

How long have I been awake…? Four, maybe five hours? I woke up five hours ago, I ate breakfast, got that call from Tadaaki… and then everything went to shit. How the hell did I manage to fuck everything up in the span of five hours? All of it could've been avoided, if I just hadn't been such a god damn stubborn moron. Because of me, all the students in Sakuragaoka got the scare of their life. Because of me, my friends almost had to bail me out of a group fight at the expense of their own wellbeing. Because of me, Ui—

…

Oh, god… Ui…

The one person who should've never been there, ended up being in the center of everything. She… She ran off from school, looking for me. And when she found me, she ran in to stop the fight, to stop me from turning a mere fight into something far more gruesome. She carried me all the way to her place, and patched me up… And what the hell did I do? I snapped at her. For the first time in my life, I was… I was angry at her. And I yelled at her, and cursed at her, and… she… she must've been so scared, for me to suddenly just lash out at her. She just wanted to make sure that I was fine, and I reacted by being a complete piece of shit. She didn't deserve that! She didn't deserve any of that!

And now… Geez, what is she doing right now? I can't even fathom how a person like her would react to the shit I just pulled off. She must… hate me right now… I-I mean, she has every reason to do so, but… I-I don't want that. I don't want her to hate me. I love her, for god's sake! I… I love her… and now she hates me. She hates me, and is scared of me, and probably never wants to see me again… I-I can never tell her how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. How we'd move together, get a loan from a bank, and buy that house with a garden she wanted. A-And how we'd have tea there whenever the weather was nice, and invite all of our friends over to have fun, a-and…

…

Huh… if all that shit wasn't enough, now, on top of all that…

I'm crying.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Gonna be open with ya: only a couple more chapters left. Writing this story has been an experience, and I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further. Stick around, as we ain't done yet.